Episode 270: Seth and Rebecca’s 18th Anniversary Special

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the Winey Palooza podcast, and I get so excited when I'm gonna have my husband on, so I think that's an indicator that I need to do it more often. But Seth, honey, thank you for doing this with me today.

Uh, thank you for being married to me for 18 years.

Do you know how excited I was to do this today?

I do not know.

I love interviewing you, and I want to tell the world that it's very therapeutic So you don't need to have a podcast. Just write some questions and tell your spouse that you want to interview them and watch how amazing and close you feel when you do it. Right.

That is a great idea.

Yeah. So my husband Seth Green is with us today in honor of our 18th wedding anniversary, which is on September 3rd. Happy almost anniversary.

Happy almost anniversary.

And I want to tell you about my fantastic serial entrepreneur husband. Holy moly, does he keep busy. He has Market Domination if you need marketing help. Everybody needs marketing help, right? Of course. He has Silver Spoon Financial to help you with your finances. And he has How to Find Money for College. Go look him up. He finds money for college. He's brilliant and he's teaching me because our son's going to go to college soon. And BMD Publishing, which happens to be my personal favorite because they have published my wonderful books and produced my podcast, produced my amazing podcast. So if you want a podcast or you want to publish a book, he's your man. I'm not sure what he doesn't know how to do. My kids make fun— our kids make fun of him. Tennis.

I'm not good at tennis.

Else that I was teasing them that you didn't know how to do? Do you remember what it was?

No, I, I remember it happening. I forget what it was.

Yeah, um, he does not know how to do everything, but he knows how to do a heck of a lot. And when I met him, I called him my Renaissance man. Do you remember that?

I do, yes.

Um, so anyways, I have a very interesting podcast interview in mind for Seth today. I love to listen to podcasts, and Seth knows I love Downton Abbey. And I loved— I was like so emotional watching Abby interview Matt. And the smart lady grabbed 73 questions from Vogue, and she—

that's a lot. That's going to be a long interview if you do all 73.

Well, I, I want to tell you, um, first of all, I don't think it will be because you're a man of not many words.

Thanks. There's one word. I don't—

I just mean that in a good way.

I don't think it's—

okay, so Abby interviewed Max. She stole the questions from Vogue, and I really liked the interview, and I really want to learn more about my husband. So I'm going to ask him questions that I'm going to— and I tweaked it because there were 73, so I erased ones like, do you wear flats or sneakers?

Who cares, right? And I wear— yeah. Okay, so we're not doing all 73, folks. That's good.

I erased some of the questions that made no sense for Seth, and I added some marital questions because we're going to talk about our marriage too. So stay tuned. But I'm going to jump in and I'm going to ask you, on a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you about life right now?

27.

Something high. I love how you're so excited about life. Let's teach us, because I love that about you.

Um, there are lots of amazing things going on in our life and lots of reasons to be excited and happy and thankful and grateful. And what Tony Robbins says, what's wrong is always available, but so is what's right. And if you focus on what's right, you get more of what's right.

And, um, your sappy wife is already tearing up, so this is going to be a good interview. Um, describe yourself in a hashtag.

Innovator.

I love it. If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

Oh, that's a good question. If your life was— I need a title for a musical.

Um, come on, baby.

It's All Possible.

Oh, I love it. What is one thing people don't know about you?

There's probably a list.

Something that would be helpful to them or me. What is something we don't know about you?

I don't know if there's anything you don't know about me, but we may find out in all of these questions. There always is, right? I will say, um, I was bullied a lot as a child.

Okay. And I am going to tell you that I, I want to tell our listeners that I'm very interested in my husband, and I think that is something that's important in marriage is I feel like I'm always learning about him. I'm always learning about what makes him tick, what makes him happy, what he struggles with, and I'm always open and interested in learning more about him.

Yes, I love that about you. And as I have said to you many times, which I stole from comedian Seth Meyers, I will never be bored in this marriage.

I would 100% agree back to you. That's how I feel with you. And, um, I think that one of my secrets for marriage is that I like you. Like, I'm in love with you, but I like you, and I like you as a person, and I am fascinated by you.

Awesome. Me too.

Okay. What's your wake-up ritual? What's your wake-up ritual?

My, my morning routine is I go downstairs, I make a protein shake, I do my gratitudes, my affirmations, my goals. I write them all down, the same ones every single day. Then at the moment I am currently— I will write my screenplay for 15 minutes and then the way my protein shake works is you have to wait 15 minutes after you drink it to work out. So then I either go do the X3 in the living room or, you know, if it's a Tuesday or Thursday, I go to my Krav Maga class.

Okay. So I love your morning routine. And the reason why I laughed is because I need to work on mine. So I will, I will make a note to work on mine. What is your go-to bed ritual?

Uh, bed ritual. We, I, before I come up, you mean other than the stuff I, other than cleaning the litter, um, and putting the kids to bed, I will then go downstairs again, look in my journal, go write, write over my goals and gratefulness and stuff like that again. Then I come upstairs, you and I read in bed. And then we go to sleep.

I love it. And I really need to read to unwind, as you know.

Yes.

What's your favorite time of day?

Uh, I don't know if I have one. First thing in the morning.

What is your dream country to visit?

Um, Israel and Italy.

What is the biggest surprise you've ever had?

You telling me we were pregnant for the first time.

I would like to know this for house stuff. Do you prefer vintage stuff or new stuff?

I don't care.

Okay. I love that answer. Whatever you want, honey.

Yes. Whatever you want is what I prefer.

What are 3 things you can't live without?

You, the kids, therefore.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I was gonna say. What's your— oh, I don't want to talk about your biggest fear, it's like gonna freak me out. What's your biggest fear in life?

Uh, probably what are we— we all have two, right? Not, not being loved and not being enough. But it's not like spiders or something.

Okay, what 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

Well, I'm not the best cook in the world, so how about you make the dinner and we have them over?

Yeah. Who would you like to have dinner with?

Tony Robbins, Dan Kennedy, and Viktor Frankl.

Awesome. I knew it was going to be some innovative men. So I want to know this for the, for the plane. Do you like a window or aisle seat? I also, because I want to give you what you want.

That's very nice.

And you don't always tell me. There's another secret. He doesn't always tell me what he wants. Sometimes it's hard to get out of him because he's so nice.

True.

Um, what's your current TV obsession?

Um, well, they're both off right now. Silo and Swagger on Apple TV.

Um, what's your favorite app?

Oh my God, one? Yeah, like 147 on my phone.

Okay, a couple. What's your favorite? Might help someone.

LinkedIn, Remind, um, iMovie.

Okay, what is a secret talent?

I, I mean, you, you have done so many interviews with me, I don't know if there's any that are secret anymore.

There's definitely secrets that I can reveal.

Okay, go for it.

Well, not everybody knows that you're a magician. People do not know that.

Okay.

And here's the funny thing about Seth. He picks up an instrument and he knows how to play it. It's like, it doesn't matter what instrument you hand to Seth, he can play it.

Okay. I didn't— yes, both of those I didn't know were secrets, but right, not everyone's seen every episode, so they might not know.

And they also don't know that you're a beautiful singer.

Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

Most adventurous thing you've done in your life?

I mean, other than marrying you and having 3 kids.

Um, that's what I was gonna say.

I would say probably, but if we're talking like traditional definition of adventure, other than starting 4 companies, I would say traditional definition. Um, uh, rock climb, you know, climbing a— climbing and rappelling down a cliff.

I was gonna say that when Max was born, Seth went out on a limb and opened his own business. And what I love about Seth is that he's a risk taker and that I know he's gonna make it work and make it successful.

The, the first year, yes, I left a fortune— a cushy career at a Fortune 500 company the year Max was born and the year, um, the subprime bubble burst and the '07-'08 crash happened and started a business right at the same time, which probably wasn't the best timing, but worked out. I didn't know those things were gonna happen other than Max being born. I knew that was coming.

Well, thank you.

You're welcome. Thank you for saying okay and letting me do it. You wouldn't be here otherwise in the same place.

Right, right. How would you define yourself in 3 words?

It's all possible.

Superpower you would want?

That's a good question. Teleportation. Yeah, then I could take you to like Hawaii with no plane flight.

Oh, that would be awesome. What's inspiring you in life right now?

Uh, The ability to scale how many people we help and how fast we help them.

I love that answer. Best piece of advice you've received?

Who you are affects how well what you do works.

Yes, that is awesome. Best advice you'd give your teenage self?

It's going to be okay.

Oh, I know. I wish I could go back and tell myself that. A book that everyone should read?

Atlas Shrugged, but they're not going to read it because it's so long. So I'll go to number 2, and I'll go Four Dollar Sandwich by your brother.

I didn't think you were going to say either of those.

What did you think I was going to say?

Rich Dad Poor Dad.

Oh no, Thinking Grow Rich would be higher on the list. Okay, Rich Dad Poor Dad is a great book, but it'd be like number 9 or 10.

Okay, I'm wrong. See, I'm wrong about you. I'm learning.

Um, what— only once though.

What would you like to be remembered for?

Uh, my contribution to my family and society.

How do you define beauty?

Rebecca.

He's so smart that when I ask him if someone is attractive, he's like, you're attractive.

Well, I've been married for 18 years. I learned a few things.

What do you love most about your body? You don't have to answer that question. I'm kind of curious though.

Um, we're talking physical, physical. Um, my abs.

Oh good. Um, and he's been working out a lot, so— Best way to take a rest and decompress?

Uh, veg out on the couch and watch a TV show with you. Or float in the pool if it's, if it's blue.

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

We're going with the recurring theme here. It's all possible.

If you could master one instrument that you don't know how to play, what would it be?

That I don't know how to play? Um, violin or flute.

If you had a tattoo What would it be?

Your face.

No, you wouldn't put my face on your body.

Well, I wouldn't get any tattoo.

How about my name? How about we tattoo my name on you?

Okay, in this hypothetical scenario, sure.

I have fantasized about putting my family's names on me, but I wouldn't do it.

You could do smelt.

What's your animal? What's your spirit animal?

Tiger.

Best gift you've ever received?

You.

Best gift you've ever given?

What, uh, an engagement ring to you.

I thought you were gonna say me because you gave me you.

God, ah, I didn't think about that.

What's your favorite board game?

Cashflow.

What's your favorite color?

Blue.

We don't, we don't care about that. We don't care about that. We don't care about that. I should have erased more of these questions. Bear with me.

Okay, so for those of you listening, she's crossing things off the list right now. She's not saying she doesn't care about my favorite color.

I, I, some of these questions I should have cut out. I love your questions, Vogue. I'm just cutting some of them out. Um, what am I doing here? I want to know, do you like summer or winter better? I want to know that.

Yes.

You like them both?

Yeah.

You like all the seasons?

I do. I like the changes.

How do you like winter?

Because it's snow and I can ski, which you taught me to do, or sled, or—

Yuck! I don't want to do any of those things.

And the snow was pretty, and other than driving in it and shoveling it.

Really? I think I've outgrown the snow, Seth.

You say that every year.

You are stuck on an island. You can pick one food to eat forever. What would it be? That's silly.

That's a hard— that's silly and hard though, because you can't just say steak because, you know, you'll give yourself a heart attack, right? And you'll get bored. So you're gonna get bored no matter what, but you've gotta find something that is actually like, will sustain you but is healthy. There's gotta be some healthy lean protein or something. I don't know.

Yeah, I know. I was thinking chicken, but I would get so sick of it.

Well, you're gonna get sick of anything if it's the same food forever with no changes and you can't like put different sauces on it. We'll have to come back to that one.

Okay. It's kind of a silly question. A skill you're working on mastering.

Our relationship.

Best thing to happen to you today?

This interview.

Um, it's asking the worst thing that's happened to you today. I don't know. I guess, I guess we could say the greenish pool.

Yes, trying to, uh, getting our pool back to a normal color would be good. That, that, that's a pretty good day if that's our worst problem.

So You, a lot of you who know us know that I begged for a pool. I had no idea that the rain was going to be so bad for the pool and keeping it blue has been a little challenging.

Yes, we're having—

if you have pointers for us, please reach out to us.

Yes, we, I downloaded a book on pool chemistry that I just started.

Because you're amazing. And that's the thing is that Like the difference between Seth and I is that I will get frustrated and reach out to people and people will help me. And what Seth does is he gets a book and he learns about it so that he can do it. So that's the difference. That's, that's how the two of us respond to situations.

Yes.

Okay. Best compliment you've ever received?

You telling me you loved me.

Favorite smell?

It's your perfume.

Um, if you make a documentary, what would it be about?

Our life.

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

Wow, that's a good one. Um, didn't we— what, what's the movie with you that I, you, I just watched, that we just watched? The You're So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah.

Yeah, the Adam Sandler movie on Netflix that's out about a bat mitzvah is so real, except it's too real.

Too real for me. I couldn't watch the whole thing.

He had me hysterically laughing and he had me crying, so go Adam.

Yes, yes.

Um, how do you know that you're in love?

I, I didn't want to spend a second without you.

Oh my God, that's such a good answer. Song you can listen to on repeat? Uh, Billy Joel's version of "To Make You Feel My Love." If you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be?

You.

Me? No, you don't want my life.

I do. I would understand you better.

That's so sweet. That is not what I thought you were going to say. You don't want to go be Tony Robbins for a day?

Of course I would, but I was going with a more realistic scenario.

Honey, you'd be a good Tony Robbins.

I would love to be Tony for a day. But it has to be like a day at Date with Destiny. It can't just be like him doing whatever. It has to be at an event.

So you would like to do one of his events?

If I'm trans— if I'm switching places for a day, yeah, I would love to lead Date with Destiny as Tony. That'd be awesome.

That's awesome.

And it has to be years ago, like when he, when he had the energy to do like 12 hours in a row, not like now where he does a couple hours and other people do the rest.

What is your affirmation for today?

Well, there's a list every day. Is—

do you have a favorite affirmation?

Um, every day in every way I'm better and better.

I love that. Thank you. So I'm gonna switch gears and I'm gonna leave the Vogue questions, which did teach me about you, and I'm gonna switch to my marital questions. So I have a few marital questions.

All right, we're going to the lightning fire round. Got it.

Okay, so I want to ask you what your hope is for our marriage this year.

Uh, that you love me more by the end of the year than you did at the start.

And I was gonna ask you, I would say that we are more in love today than we were 18 years ago. So why do you think that our love gets better every year?

That, that is true, and that's a great question because we work on it. We find more things to love about each other and we experience more. Right. You had— I had no idea that parenthood, as stressful and exhausting as it could be, would make me— I knew it would make me love you more. I had no idea it would be this much. And my capacity for love keeps increasing.

Okay, so I know the answer for this for me, but I want to hear your answer. So seeing me as a mother with our kids Why does that make you love me more?

Because you're amazing.

Because you like how I parent them.

Yeah, and I want to be you when I grow up.

What? What does that mean?

I want to be more like you. You inspire me every day.

I think we feel very similarly about each other.

Yes.

Right? We have strengths that each other doesn't have.

That is part of why we work.

Going through stressful things with you brings us closer together. Like teaching Max to drive, I feel like it brought us closer together. Do you see that? Do you agree?

Yes.

Yes. Um, I would love to know one place you want to take me.

Hawaii.

I was thinking that in 2 years for our 20th, what are we going to do?

Oh my God, that's it. There probably won't be wildfires there then, so that would be a good time.

And, oh, I don't know that I want to leave the kids and go all the way to Hawaii. That's a little far.

Okay, are we gonna make some progress? Because there were multiple times I tried to get you to go to Vegas with me so that you could see a Britney concert, and you never went because they were too little. Can I at least get you to Vegas for a couple days so that you can— when she goes back on tour— so that you can finally say you saw Britney?

Well, when Britney goes on tour, I'm definitely gonna go see her. If she doesn't come to Buffalo, we will go find her.

Well, what if she doesn't do a tour? What if she just does another residency in Vegas?

Oh, that's one of my regrets is that when she was in Vegas and you tried to take me, I said no. People listening, say yes. Say yes more. Say no less often. Say yes. Take risks. Do things. Leave the kids and go to Vegas.

I mean, you did leave the kids. I mean, it was for a bad— I mean, it was for your uncle's funeral. But like, you managed to get to California for a couple of days. So we know you can do it if there's a compelling reason. The question is, will Britney be compelling enough?

My uncle's funeral was much more compelling than Britney, but, um, I will certainly go see Britney.

Yes, I would love to take you more places.

And we also need a plan for our 18th anniversary because I haven't booked anything.

Well, that's coming right up, so we're probably not going to Vegas, hopping on a plane to Vegas. So we need— oh, wasn't there that new— that restaurant people told you about that you to try. Can we call that— can we book that?

Um, I will talk to you after that, after this. I have a couple ideas, but we do need to book something. Let's hope everything's not booked up already. Oopsies, right?

It is a holiday weekend.

What is the best thing you learned, um, about your marriage this year, or from your marriage?

Defuse, don't defend.

Okay, but explain to people what that means because that's helpful.

Okay, so one of your things about me that bugs you the most is when I am defensive. And I, you cannot win. So if someone says you're being defensive, you automatically lose the argument, right? Because if you say, no, I'm not, you're being defensive about being defensive. So I learned that whatever Rebecca is saying to me, even if I can factually prove her wrong. There's no money in it. The right answer is just, yes, honey, I'm sorry, whatever it is, we just go with it. And then if she magically discovers that her, her thing was wrong later, she's even more appreciative of me than all of the times that I fought her on it and she realized she was wrong, but she didn't care that she was wrong. She was just mad at me for arguing with her, as opposed to now, if I just go with it, um, which is another good movie, if I just go with it then when she figures it out later, she's happier with me about it.

Yeah. Yes. And you've gotten better with driving too, if you want to tell them your new method of madness with me.

Yes. In the last 2 weeks, I realized, like, she would complain while I was driving or she would point out every— there's a person crossing the street, there's a car turning, there's like everything. Not that she thought I was an idiot because that's how I took it. I'm like, do you think I'm stupid? I do know how to drive. That's how I was interpreting it and being defensive.

It got worse. It got worse teaching Max to drive.

Yes, because now you are hypervigilant and even more like, you got to be whatever. But anyway, I realized fighting with you and going, shut up, I know how to drive, wasn't doing us any good as a couple. So I said, you know what? It's not about me. It's about her. She's feeling anxiety or whatever it is. I need to make her feel safe that I'm observant, that I see everything. So now, number one, I tell you, hey, I see that person coming, and then you don't have to say anything and you feel safe. And whenever you do say something, I'm like, I used to get mad, and now, like yesterday, I was like, thank you for pointing that out, honey. And it totally lets all the air out of your balloon, as opposed to what I used to do when I was defensive. It would make your balloon of anger or emotion bigger and bigger and make it worse. And now if I just say, thanks for pointing that out, like, now you're like, oh, I'm sorry. You didn't used to be sorry. Now you feel bad because I'm being nice about it.

Well, and you say things like, honey, I want you to feel safe while I'm driving. And that makes me feel better that, that you even communicate that. And I do think I have changed with teaching Max how to drive. I think it's made me more nervous. Oh, for sure. So I'm trying to relax. And like the other thing I have told Seth and Max is a lot of my stuff is about me and it's not about them. And like I will miss something when I'm driving and get upset with myself. So like, I'm trying to think of an example. Like, I saw a family of deer and like, I totally, totally could have missed it because it was so dark out. Like, there's so many things that I have almost missed or missed. So I think that's why I point it out to them and it annoys them.

But if I don't be annoyed, it works much better.

Well, okay. And I'm working on it too, because I'm trying to say less and less when they're driving. But it is definitely more about me than about them.

Yes.

And I'm trying to be— since I have started teaching Max how to drive, it has made me such a better driver. I don't know if Seth feels the same way, but I'm driving slower, I'm driving more carefully, I'm in less of a hurry, I'm more concerned with safety. Um, it's definitely motivated me to be a better driver.

I have had the same experience.

Okay, what is one thing that you want to improve in your marriage this year?

I would like to keep improving my diffusion skills.

What would you like me to do better this year? Don't say nothing, don't be sweet.

Um, what would, uh, chill out.

Yes, yes. Um, I do find that I can be a stress ball, right?

Yes.

I can be wound too tight.

Yes. Loosen up.

Loosen up. Loosey-goosey. Um, marital advice to everyone listening to have a happy marriage.

Pick your battles. There are so many things this year that I've stopped myself and I said, she's saying something, let's say, that is factually incorrect. And I'm like, does it matter? Like, you could nitpick her word choice. You could tell her that what she just said is wrong and she will get mad at you. And you could turn that into a fight if you do it. Does it do the world any good? I'm like, no. So just shut up. There's no point to it. And I have been working actively every day on catching myself And we have avoided, which you don't know, a whole lot of conflict that was unnecessary that we didn't avoid before because I didn't keep my mouth shut and go, it's not worth it. There's no point. You're just ending up fighting for no reason. Like, you don't need to do this. Just keep it to yourself.

Well, and I want to tell you that, um, you know, Seth was raised by a librarian and an editor. And what that has done is it has made word choices extremely important to him. And as someone who is an extrovert who used to just say whatever the heck I wanted—

no filter, right?

No filter. Like, it would just come out of my mouth, and sometimes I would say, oops, I shouldn't have said that. Um, I think as an extrovert who was not very careful with her word choices, I would say to people, like, try to think— even if you're an extrovert like me and it's hard for you to stop, Like introverts tend to think a lot about what they're gonna say. Just stop yourself and think before you say it and think about the word choices that you make and it will improve every relationship in your life.

Amen to that.

And I don't always do it, but I certainly have made strides of improvement.

You sure have.

I really appreciate it. And he would say to me, and it would, it would hurt me so he would say to me, do you realize what you just said to me? And I'm like, no, what did I say?

Which drove me crazy because I was like, I'm going to have this emotional scar for a long time. And you don't even— 2 minutes later, like, what did I do? I'm like, are you kidding me?

And it's like, I have learned, I think, to just like keep going and blow things off in my life. And I would even forget what I said to Seth that hurt his feelings. And I would be like, tell me what I said. And it made me realize I really have to be careful about my word choices in general. I have said stuff to Lily in the heat of the moment. And Lily is like, that really hurt my feelings. You just told me I'm a bad kid.

I didn't hear that one.

Oops. Rare form. And I was like, I was, you know, like, her choices weren't the best, but she's a wonderful child. And I felt so bad. And you can go back and you can apologize to your spouse and you can apologize to your child. You can tell them what you did wrong and that you're going to try to do better. And now No, I do not want to call her a bad child. I think she's wonderful.

Yes.

But she was in rare form.

Okay.

How can we fight better? You have talked a lot about that.

Yeah, I think we did that.

Okay. Anything else you want to share for marital, some marital comments or wisdom?

I can't wait for the next 18 years.

I do think that we are growing together. I think we're learning together. I think we have tolerance for each other. And I think that, um, I don't expect you to be perfect. I think sometimes you think that I expect that, but I don't expect any of us to be perfect. And I know we're all flawed, and I know we're all learning. So my favorite marital line is that it's a successful marriage is two imperfect people who never give up on each other.

That's beautiful.

So I will keep growing with you this year. I will keep loving you this year. And I am so excited to celebrate another anniversary with you. It is such a blessing to get to be married to you. Aha. So, um, go work on your marriage, everyone. I'm gonna work on mine. I can always do better. I can say less. I can, I can choose my words. And, um, go interview your spouse. You'll learn a lot. I learned today. So please, uh, help me with this, Seth. I, I would love for you to rate this. I would love a 5-star review. I hope that you enjoyed it and want to give me a 5-star review. I would love for you to leave me a review. Please leave me a comment. I read them all and I would so appreciate it. And then they send it out to more people so that they can hear this and hopefully get some help from it. Um, anything else I should share, honey?

Share it with a married couple you love.

Oh yes, I love that so much. So thank you, honey, for doing this with me today.

Thanks so much for having me back.

This is Rebecca Green reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.