Episode 273: Back to School 2023

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday.

No need to whine, it's Winey Palooza Wednesday. Grab some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Green Family.

You didn't have to sing, but that was lovely. So our singer started high school and is very tired, doesn't want to talk to you about high school, doesn't want to sing. No, so you're stuck with Seth and I.

Hey now, you You're blessed.

You're blessed to have Seth and I tonight.

Yes.

How are you surviving? Okay, so some of you have already been back to school. Our kids started yesterday.

Yeah.

So our kids have 2 days of school in the books.

Yes.

And how are you all, if you are in my boat, if you live near me, how are you surviving the first week of school? Chime in a while ago.

How'd you do?

Yeah, how are— if you already went back, how are you doing? How are you getting back into it? Um, I'm feeling the routine beginning again. What about you?

I'm adjusting.

Oh yeah, well, the problem is that I get up really early. Yes, and I don't know how to be a ninja and not wake you up.

Well, it's not always just you, right? Two of them are up early and opening doors and closing doors too. So you're not the— we all— you— yes. So there's complicated factors.

The goal is to wake up 6-ish, a little after 6.

Your goal.

My goal for me, cuz I do a lot of stuff in the morning.

Yes.

What is with the hands? I'm just really tired. Maybe, maybe the hands are keeping me awake.

Are you generating some energy there?

Yes. So my goal is to get up around 6, but I woke up at 5, and I tried to be quiet. So hopefully I didn't wake you at 5, but I did try to go back to sleep and failed miserably. So we are totally out of whack. Our schedule is totally out of whack. It is 9:09. Seth and I could probably go to sleep right now. Yep, right?

I'm gonna do that when we're done.

So I want to hear how your kids are doing. I want to tell you how my kids are doing. So we have 2 in high school now.

Yes.

And the first day was very different for us. Why was the first day extremely different?

We didn't have to drive either of them.

Okay, he's so specific. So Max, right, Max, our junior, drove Ella, our freshman, to school. So this is like a whole new world.

That's right. So I only have one left to drive.

So I— my kids don't ride the bus. Uh, I have been driving them to school since like first grade, and, um, well, kindergarten for Ella and Lily, first grade for Max. But I took the kids to the car and told them they had to pose for a picture for the first day of school. You got to take first day of picture first day of school pictures, and then they got in the car and I got to watch them drive away. And it was actually like, I felt so excited for them. I was so shocked. I didn't cry. I wasn't sad. I, I, we haven't talked, we haven't talked about this. I was so excited because I remember driving myself to school and what it felt like. Do you remember?

I do.

And how amazing it felt. Like, we're not dropping them off, they're not taking the bus, they're just driving by themselves. And my friend was like, "Oh, how cool is that for Ella to have your big brother drive you to school?" I didn't even think of that. I was too busy thinking about how awesome Max felt driving to school.

Got it.

So, whole new world for us. Max, on the first day, drove them to school, drove Ella home. And depending on the football schedule and the drama club schedule, we will see how this all plays out. But good report, um, the first day for Max wasn't so good because in Buffalo, New York, it is like 85 degrees and their school is not air-conditioned. So the report from Max with school was not good because it was hot. Well, Well, I don't know if you know this, but I was at Mill texting Max because I wanted to catch him before he went back to football, and I wasn't home when he got home. So I texted him and I was like, "How was school?" His response was, "Not good." And I was like, "Why?" And he said, "Stuff." Yeah, that'll make you—

and then your mind started spinning, I'm sure, and you came up with 27 different reasons it could have been.

So I was like, okay, so if you're a mom of boys you're going to— or if you're a mom of a quiet girl, it's not just Max, it's not just boys. So I was like, okay, this is the self-talk, okay? You know he's going to football for hours, like, you know he's gone for the night, you're not gonna be able to talk to him till like 7 at night, so just let it go. Don't like go off to the races because you don't know what's wrong. And guess what? When he comes home after football drenched in sweat because it's 85 degrees, he may not want to talk to you. So it may be a few—

Proud of you for your awareness. I was like, years ago you would have been like, I gotta get an answer right now.

I've learned a lot. I've learned so much. So I was like, okay, take a deep breath. I know you're upset that he said school wasn't good. And ironically I wasn't worried about Max at all. I was worried about Ella because, um, first day of high school, it was her first day of high school. Like, that's huge to me, and she handled it like a champ. And I was worried about Lily because she's my baby.

Yes.

And I worry about my baby.

Yes.

Even though she's super capable and strong and didn't need me to worry about her, right? I wasn't worried about Max. Uh, he's a junior, he's an upperclassman, he knows the school, he is taking a million classes. He's the one who gave me the negative report. So anyways, which was it was hot. I was—

spoiler alert.

So yeah, thanks for the spoiler.

Sorry, honey.

I was so amazed when he came home from football totally drenched and willing to talk to me and tell me. I was like, so why was your day not good? You got to be casual. I'm telling you, I told my friend today just be casual. So why was school not good today?

Yes, if you would come in, I'm all emotionally intense.

If I was like, you have to talk to me right now and tell me why school wasn't good.

Um, what do I need to call? What's the principal's number?

Do I need to make some phone calls? So give me an example.

Give me an example. Yes, Lily, you are correct.

So he's, he's like, Mom, The school is so hot and it was miserable and the teachers talked all day and I was, you know, just trying to listen to them talk at me all day and it was so hot and I was like—

It wasn't like they can say everybody gets a free period every class to go somewhere to cool off. Well, okay. There's no place to go.

Okay, but we all know what the first day of school is like.

Yes.

And it's policies and procedures and I feel like we should like go on Labor Day vacation? I feel like we should go away and come home for the first day of school to be the second day of school because the first day of school is so bad because I remember the teacher's policies and procedures and, and school supplies. No, you don't remember that?

Yes, you would, you would just like to get that all in an email and skip to the next day.

Yeah, just send me an email. Tell me, you know, the kids and I will read your policies and procedures and we'll sign whatever you want us to sign.

They got no way to guarantee compliance.

But anyway, okay, so I'm going to take us back to before the first day of school and then we'll talk about Ella and Lily. Okay. I want to talk about the fact that your wife, as you know, gets very sad at the end of summer.

She does.

Uh, I start to feel the beginning of school coming, like I feel it. I feel the end of summer coming. If you know me, you know how much I love the summer, so it's very sad for me to say goodbye. And it's going to be extra sad this year because I'm going to have to close my pool, my brand new pool. You told me I heard about this.

Thank you, Lily.

Thank you, peanut gallery. So So anyways, why do they call it the peanut gallery? Okay, why don't we look that up after this?

Yes, yes.

So, so I, I would like randomly start crying because I was so sad that summer was ending. And I know, I know lots of moms, and I know some of you love when your kids go back to school. You love You're like, bye! You're like dancing down the driveway. You're like, this is amazing! And I'm like, oh, I was driving away from Mill and I was like, I miss them, I miss them. Like, it's really peaceful and quiet and it's going to be peaceful and quiet today, but I miss them and I like them home. And it's chaotic and it's crazy, but I really enjoy it. So I, you know, I had some tears and I changed my self-talk and I started telling myself regularly that, you know, I'm telling you to change your self-talk, I'm trying to guide other mothers and I walk my talk. Talk— what is the expression? You're right. Practicing what you preach. I want to practice what I preach. So changing my self-talk, changing the dialogue. So the dialogue is I'm so sad summer is ending. I'm so sad summer is ending. That's not serving me. So I started to change it, and I was like, but your kids are so excited for school, and Ella's so excited to go to high school, and she's gonna love high school, and she's gonna join drama club. And you love all the football games. You're gonna get to see Max play football, and you're gonna get to see Lily cheerlead at her football games. And there is so— and I started to tell myself, but look at all this goodness in the fall that you love.

How about that? So you can even go to a pumpkin patch.

So I, I love that you threw that in for me. That was very sweet of you.

Yes.

So I started to change the dialogue in my head, and I started to feel differently. And then the kids went to school, and all that precipitory sadness, anxiety, all of it, it just disappeared. And I could hear Seth, because Seth has guided me through many stages of life for almost 20 years.

Yes.

And I could hear Seth in my head saying, um, if you know already that when the kids go to school it's going to be great and school's going to be great and you're going to adjust great and everything's going to be great, if you already know that's going to happen, why do you put yourself through the emotions that you put yourself through every summer before they go to school?

Yep.

So I heard you in my head.

Awesome.

So it's sinking in. Yeah, and I see progress.

Awesome.

I effectively— I did such a better job changing my thoughts. I did such a better job being less anxious. I slept the night before school. Wow, when does that happen? So progress for me.

Good job, me.

Okay, good job, me. I need to give myself some praise, and next summer it's going to be even easier. All right, so talked about Max. Max said today was much better. Um, I didn't get details on why, not going to get a lot of details from Max, and that is okay. Ella said today was wonderful, and one of the major bonuses that she has discovered at her very hot school is that the music wing has air condition— air conditioning. And she is taking 2 chorus classes. So she got to go to chorus twice today, and she was like, that music wing is gorgeous, it's new, it looks like an airport, and they have AC. So she's thrilled, got a place to cool off. She's, she's very thrilled. She, she seems to really like high school so far, and I'm hoping— I would love to talk to the high school if you work at the high school that I'm talking about, or you know more than I do, that lunch is very odd to me. Okay, and I would love to talk to the— to her guidance counselor about this, and I will bring it up. Why isn't there a freshman lunch, a sophomore lunch?

This calendar— their schedules don't all sync.

I mean, come on, they're all in different classes. I feel like they need to sync for the same age kids to eat together.

I don't know if it's physically possible.

I don't know if it's possible.

Hundreds of class schedules, that's my guess.

So I don't like that she's in the lunchroom with every grade. I don't like that she can't find people. I offered to switch her lunch. She did find one person after circling and circling and getting stressed, so Did she find her way around the school? Mostly. It's, you know, she's got a lot to learn. Uh, did she like her classes and her teachers? Mostly. Uh, did she find someone in lunch? One person. So she likes it. I would like to see the lunch situation different.

So I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know that you can, but it's a noble intention.

I, I know. And I was like, let's switch your schedule.

After that would be about the second or third switch.

No, we didn't make any switches. It was just a discussion about adding choraliers to her schedule. There was no switch. It was just, can she fit that?

I did not understand.

And I'm so glad. Oh my God. The cafeteria needs AC apparently. It's so hot in there. You know what? I will ask Ella about that. She did not mention that. Do you want to know what she told me? Um, she has social studies, I think, second to last, and social studies is upstairs. Global studies, I think it's called. And she said the global studies room is so freaking hot, and I can't imagine— Spanish and global is upstairs. The second— if the first floor is hot, I can't even imagine what the second floor is.

Imagine our house without AC, central AC, in the second— when it doesn't work, imagine how hot— remember how hot it gets.

I will tell you that we talked about me wasting my worry before school. I wasted my worry all day today. Emma is commenting. I was texting Emma like so worried. I was like, I'm worried, what, what am I gonna do? I texted Ella. I can text Ella now, so Max and Ella can text me back during the day, which is super helpful because I can say like, are you okay? Like, how hot is it?

It's so hot, Mom. What are you gonna run and hold a portable fan over your head in front of class and not embarrass you all day at all and follow you around with the fan?

And she was like, it's hot, yes, it's hot. But like, it wasn't like I'm dying, it's hot. It was like, yes, it's hot. So I'm not gonna die.

Well, what are you gonna do about it?

So here's the thing. So you are the dad.

Yes.

And you are much more calm about these things. Yes. I worried all day and I wasted precious energy, precious energy all day worrying about my kids. They all came out okay. Yes, all of them.

Listen, if 800 kids drop of, you know, heat stroke, you'll get a phone call from the nurse. Well, otherwise they're gonna be okay.

No, I was wondering about that. I was wondering about how the teachers and kids were handling it. You know, Sean was texting Karen that it was like— what was it, Emma? Was it like 90 degrees in his classroom? I mean, come on.

What are we gonna do?

It should be— no, it should be illegal to be in a classroom that is 90 degrees.

I agree with you, but unless— I don't think you're going to change that tomorrow. And then legislation.

And then we get a text reminder about football after school, and I'm like, shouldn't this be a cancellation?

There was one that got canceled because of heat conditions.

Some—

okay, so the modified scrimmage— the game got canceled.

The game, but they still had practice.

Right. Well, it's less intense than a game. They're not, you know, necessarily wearing pads and helmets.

They wore less, less stuff. So, okay. So Ella likes high school.

Yes.

Max had a better day.

Yes.

And Lily is doing fine. She's, she's, she bops out of the school. The first day of school, I saw her running out of school with a smile and I was like, oh, she's happy. I'm good. And she did the same thing today. She comes out of school, she's smiling, she's happy. Zara, what does that mean? She was a beetroot? Is that what she meant?

Zara was a beetroot again tonight, dripping sweat. Beetroot's a plant, right?

Oh, so the issue with Zara—

Oh, is she that red? I don't know.

Oh, that's what she's talking about, how beet red. Oh, she was beet red. I bet you that's what she meant.

Psycho.

You're so smart. So the problem with Max and Zara is that not only do they have to sit at school all day in the heat, they then have to go to practice after school and be outside in the heat.

Yes.

So I didn't see Max when he got home. Was he dripping in sweat?

Yeah, but that's— yeah, that's normal.

If you see— okay, so my advice to you is, if you're not married, Get married. Marry someone who is exactly the opposite of you. I literally chose a man who is as opposite from me as it can get, and it really serves us. It really serves us. Like, I'm over here like, oh my God, it's so hot. And if I would have texted Seth and been like, I'm so upset, it's probably so hot in that school, he would have texted back and said they will be fine. He doesn't worry about them. He wasn't worried about them on the first day of school. He wasn't worried about them on the second day of school. It doesn't matter that it's new. Doesn't matter that it's hot. Doesn't matter that he sent his baby to high school. Seth is calm as a cucumber.

It's a good thing.

Um, I think it's wonderful. I think it balances me out. If I was calm as a cucumber, would you feel more anxious?

You would have picked somebody who was more anxious to balance you out. I wouldn't change. You would have picked a different spouse.

Okay, all right, all right.

We'll never know.

So here we are, second day of school, exhausted, um, hoping tomorrow was cooler for the kids. I know that I talk about loving the summer, but as I tell everybody, it's time to cool off. Because I don't want to worry about my kids in a hot school, and I don't want to worry about my son and daughter outside practicing in this heat. And tonight I was like, how come cheerleading isn't canceled? Why are we practicing in this heat? They did it inside. So thank you to her, to her coach for moving it inside.

Why are you looking at the air conditioning? I don't know.

Is there air conditioning? I don't know.

Well, otherwise an enclosed building would just be Huh.

Oh yeah, I have no idea. That is an excellent question.

There wouldn't be much of a point to move them inside if there's no AC. It doesn't do you any good. There has to be AC in that building, would be my amateur assessment.

So I continue to learn and grow as a person. I continue to learn that I waste a lot of energy worrying about my kids. I will be— waste a lot of energy being sad about the summer ending.

Um, what are you gonna do with all that energy that you get back?

Oh boy, that's a whole nother story. There's a list of stuff that I'm kind of ignoring. I have a lot to do tomorrow, let's put it that way. Okay, so I'm not gonna lie, if it's nice out tomorrow, I may go in the pool.

You should, good for you.

I don't know, the list is suffering because I know I'm gonna shut my pool and I want pool time.

Yes, you gotta call the pool people.

So I'm gonna stop wasting my energy, you're gonna stop wasting your energy with me. Let's do this together. We're going to change our thoughts to positive thoughts, and my husband is going to continue to tell me things like, they will be okay, because we know they'll be okay. And if they're not okay, the nurse is gonna call me and say, uh, yeah, he needs to come home, he's way overheated, dehydrated. So we know they'll be okay. We know I will enjoy every season, especially the fall, and watching my son play football. Um, he has a game tomorrow. I'm very excited. And what else did I learn? I feel like I learned so much. I'm excited to see my kids learn and grow this year. Max's schedule is— ay vey. I said to him last night, maybe you could take a couple less hard classes. And do you know what he said? This is what he says to me all the time. No, Mom. No, Mom. Fine, stuff. He grunts. No, Mom.

It was very anticlimactic. I guess I was waiting for some smart answer of, I need to do more APs, I want to take them all.

No, I was like, you need to— like, he, you know, he was like, I'm not with a lot of my friends in my classes. And I was like, well Your friends aren't taking the hard AP classes. I was like, well, you're taking too many hard classes. Why don't you drop a couple and take—

You told him no! That is completely the wrong answer. You don't tell him to drop classes.

I— okay, not drop, but change.

No, you don't tell him to switch to a lower class so he's— uh, easier class so he's with more people he knows. Tell him to make new friends in the harder classes that we're at that level.

Okay, so I seriously— no, no. So I will tell you that last night at dinner, wants to go to college with kids who were even smarter than that. Okay, so I said to him, maybe you should take— just let me talk. All right, so we're at the dinner table and I say, maybe you should switch a couple classes. And Seth says, maybe you should make some friends in your new classes.

Thank you.

So do you see, do you see We're very different.

He can't call his other friends and go, what'd you get on the homework assignment? What'd you do? Because they're not in the class. He needs to be able to talk to people in the class who are doing the same thing. He is.

Okay, so I thought about this yesterday. It was one of, you know how as a mom you get like these random worry thoughts? And he was like, well, I don't have many friends in my classes. I was like, crap, he needs friends in his classes because you have to We have to talk to him about this. You have to—

I missed an assignment. I wasn't there.

You have to have someone's phone number to be able to call them if you miss, if you're absent, if you're sick, if you— if it's a Jewish holiday, which he's going to want to go to school on the Jewish holiday. Um, I don't know that I want him missing any AP classes. So, okay, so you leaving? Yes. Okay, I'm gonna wrap up because I need to go put Lily to bed. So, in summary, the beginning of school is going well. It will continue to go well. We are exhausted. You are exhausted. We all need to get back on this crazy schedule. And I want to tell you to listen to my podcast on Fridays. There's a new podcast every Friday, the Whiny Plousa Podcast. If you are not in the Whiny Plousa Mom Group, go find it on Facebook. Please. I would love to have you. We are just finishing our September challenge. You could totally slide in and do some comments because every comment gets entered for prizes. And so we've got the mom group, we've got the podcast. If you haven't read my blog, my blog is at winniepluza.com. And, um, I hope the back to—

the—

that back to school is going well for you and your children. We will all survive this. We will all get back on schedule. It will cool off, it will be less hot in school, and all will be well. I'm gonna go collapse and put Lily to bed. Thank you so much for joining us and have a fabulous week. Thank you for tuning in to the Whiny Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.

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