Episode 284: Finding The Joy in The Chaos with Meredith Rusu

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the Winey Palooza podcast, and I am very excited today because I get to speak with a fabulous author, Meredith Russo. Meredith, thank you so much for doing this with me today.

Thank you so much for having me on, Rebecca. This is exciting. I'm excited to share the book with you and your, uh, your listeners.

Yes, for sure. And let me tell you a little bit about Meredith. She is a children's book author of more than 100 titles. I can't even believe that. That's amazing. Notably Silenzio Bruno and Anna, Elsa, and the Enchanting Holiday. We all love Anna and Elsa.

Yep.

There's a Yeti in My Tummy is her first original picture book. Best title ever, by the way. And she lives in New Jersey with her husband and two young sons who may or may not have yetis.

They do. They very much do. All three.

I have to find out about this because I'm thinking— I'm having a feeling that we all have yetis.

I have a feeling.

So before we jump into the yeti, tell us how you became interested in writing children's books.

Yeah, I— so I— it's funny because I wanted to— I knew that I wanted to be writing stuff for children's or working in children's. It was originally children's television when I was a kid that I wanted to do. I have actually this really funny story that I remember as a little kid, I was watching Nickelodeon back then, and they showed this snippet of these two guys in the writers' room, and they were shooting Nerf guns at one another. And I remember as a 6-year-old being, "That's what I want to do. That's what I want to grow up to do." And when I've shared that with my husband, he's like, "Oh, so you wanted to play?" Like, yeah, I guess I did. So, so I knew I wanted to write. I knew I wanted to do something with children's television or books for a long, long time. And since I'm on the East Coast, children's publishing was the much more accessible option because otherwise I would have had to really move out to LA to do children's television. And so I wound up working in editorial for children's books for many years. And I kind of fell into licensed publishing, which is— which was a mesh of the two, like the children's television and the children's writing, because licensed publishing is stories based on toys and television and movies for kids. So that's, that's how I have the Anna and Elsa book, and that's how I have Silencio Bruno. I was an editor in licensed publishing for so many years working with authors just like myself now, and editing books to then, like, you know, to go against the different properties. And then in 2014, I had my older son Matthew, and I made the transition to writing full-time instead and being on the authorial side of the licensed publishing because I'd worked with so many of the editors, I knew so many of the properties, and it kept growing and growing. And then in 2020 during the lockdown, I'd wanted to write some of my own stuff for a long, long time. That was what kind of gave me the kick I needed to really get this out there because there was like a shift in how much licensed work was coming through. Like, you know, all the job markets were changing. And so I'm like, well, I need to put food on the table.

Yeah.

Let's try and figure something out. But then I also had this idea I can I can tell you probably, I'm sure that one of your questions is how I had the idea for the book. So I'll save that nugget. But in 2020 is when I had the idea. And so now I've got some of my own original work out there, which I'm so excited and proud of. And just the response from friends and family and community has just been overwhelming. So I'm really happy.

Well, I mean, you know, I think the title is amazing. So, so let's talk about the book. Let's talk about what a Yeti is. You and I were talking about that and laughing about that. And tell us about the whole inspiration behind the book.

Sure. So, so a Yeti is basically an abominable snowman. I didn't, I didn't realize I was mentioning, I didn't realize like people didn't know.

Clueless. I'm clueless.

Ironically, the original, the original, original title was There's There's a Dino in My Tummy. Was it Dino? It was Dino. And because the— so the inspiration for the story was my two sons, Matthew and Luke, during the lockdown were 3 and 5 years old. They're 6 and 8 now. And they were in those preschool, just going into kindergarten years. And they had a lot of big feelings. They still have big feelings, but you start to forget just how big the preschool feelings really were. And they were here 24/7. We were getting a full display of all the feelings during a pandemic. And my older son, Matthew, would always— he would stomp around and he'd roar. He'd be larger than life all the time. And he would also wake up with this giant mop of bedhead that was like Yu-Gi-Oh! in the morning. It was like, and I remember one morning he came down and I'm like, oh, like, you know, so I was like, buddy, it's like there's a creature in your hair, like a dinosaur or a yeti. And I was like, huh, that's a really good idea for how to express big feelings in this kind of very visual way. And it was inspired by his hair.

That's amazing.

And all the craziness, like, you know, at the table, like, you know, the eating messy. They still do. Like, you know, well, Matthew doesn't. Matthew's meticulous picking, and Luke is like, "Kwah, kwah, kwah." That's funny.

They're all so different.

Yes. Yeah. They play off one another. They— it's cute seeing them either mirror certain things in one another or just really know how to push one another's buttons.

Oh, siblings are so good at that. Especially during the lockdown.

Yep. Yeah, well, Luke was even so small, he was 3. He was just— he— it felt like he was internalizing so many of his poor little big feelings. And that was— so I had this idea really inspired by, like, mostly Matthew, but then for the whole series, both of their experiences with big feelings and how their how they're feeling them, how they're expressing them. And what I, you know, with this, with There's a Yeti in My Tummy, in the first one, it's about like, you know, this big larger-than-life yeti that's coming, the little boy's imagining, but he's kind of also there and it's expressing his big feelings. Like when the boy is stomping, it's yeti stomps. And when he is afraid that he can't kick the kickball right with his feet on the field, uses his butt. He's like, oh, there's a yeti in my butt. He whacks the ball.

Awesome. So yeah, for the, for the record, I will ask my children when they come home from school. I bet you every one of them knows what a yeti is. I think it's just me.

It's not just, it's not just you, but you know, if, if, if, uh, if nothing else, then, um, helping kids with their, their, their big feelings. This book will also educate the world what a yeti is.

Awesome. So, okay, so through this book, through your children, you have really learned a lot about big feelings and how to— how parents, how we can be more effective. Can you give us some tips how to effectively handle big feelings? You know, we need some tips.

Some tips. I keep saying to, like, you know, when my publisher and my publicity team was saying, you know, what advice do you have for parents? I'm like, well, I'm just, I'm learning it myself. Like, I'm just trying, like, you know, it's figuring it out as I go. I mean, I think, so I think one of the things that I've found has helped me, and one of the things I was trying to share in the book is that in, in the moment, it's so difficult when the kids are expressing those big feelings, when they're having— when they're in the middle of a tantrum, when they're in the supermarket just melting down on the floor because, because they wanted a dog toy and you don't have a dog.

Like, I can totally picture that. Yeah.

Like, like things that, like, set them off. And in the moment, there's so many different factors because it depends on where you are and it depends on how you're feeling and what needs to get done and how on a scale of 1 to 11 where they're at with their big emotions. And not just the negative ones, the being too silly, being roughhousing, like, you know, trying to push one another on the shopping cart. And so in the moment, it's very hard to keep your calm and try and reach them on a level that they can understand. And you basically, you do your best, right?

Yes.

You do your best to get get past that moment and move on. And what I found when they were little was that when my husband was in the office, I would be texting him all these crazy things that had happened, things you can't make up at school. Yeah. You're like, this is our Tuesday. This is where we're at. And it's 8:30. And I found that it helped to try and find the joy in the craziness, in the silliness, because it is frustrating and it's, it's hard. But when you're able to, when you're able to try and laugh about it, when you're able to try and approach it from a perspective of these little tiny people have a very unique way of expressing themselves. And when I looked for the joy, I found that I was happier myself. And I found that I was able to appreciate the boys for who they were, but also who they were in that moment in time, that snippet in time. And so with Yeti in My Tummy, you see the antics of the little boy all day. But I was, you know, and at the end and how the parents and the teachers are trying to guide him to make, like, you know, to use his big energy toward constructive constructive things. But my hope was that in the quiet moments when parents are reading this with their kids, they can be like, you know, earlier when you almost tipped the full shopping cart over and like killed yourself and shattered everything, you were— did you have a yeti in your tummy? Uh-huh. And however the kids want to express that. I've had kids at some of my book readings, like when I'm sharing the story times, Some have said, my Yeti's purple, my Yeti's blue. I don't have a Yeti. I've got a monster. That's all great. That's exactly what I was hoping parents would be able to share with their kids through this. So my advice, my tips, try search for the joy to save your sanity.

Yes, save yourself.

Yes. And then use that joy in the quiet moments to try and try and connect with your kids. Sometimes it works.

Sometimes it absolutely works. I think that's such good advice. And I have this whole picture of you with your kids because, and I wanna tell you why, you know, my husband came up with the title Whiny Palooza, which has become a joke in my family. And when my kids would be having a meltdown, I mean, they're, you know, a couple of them are teenagers. They can still have a meltdown. Yeah. We now have a joke because it's whining and it's a party. So we're like, it's whiny palooza all over the place. And we all start laughing. And I'm picturing that with the yeti in your tummy with your kids, like they're having a meltdown and you're like, oh, the yeti is coming out. I can totally see joking around and being silly and making it funny.

Yeah. Like a visualization that they can then kind of hopefully latch onto and be like, oh, this is, this is reaching that, that, that bananas level where the Yeti comes out. And yeah, exactly. Anything, anything to try and connect with them on some sort of level that they can then talk with you about. It's, it's, it's so— it's just, just real quick, it's so cute when my little guy, who's 6 now, he'll have feelings that he doesn't know how to explain. He was trying to explain to me yesterday, and he gets so— like, he wouldn't— not like bawling, but like the, the one, the one tear coming down his, his little cheek. And he's like, I have, I have these memories from the past. This is what he's like, he's like saying, I have these memories from the past, and I, I feel sad that they're in the past, but I don't know how to— it's tricky to explain. And I'm like, And in my head I'm like, he's experiencing nostalgia. Aw. But how do you explain that to a 6-year-old? And so, you know, we have—

That's so precious.

It's really cute. Yeah.

They have so many feelings, so many feelings. And you know, you're talking about connecting with our kids, which I think is so important. But what I also love is that you connected with your son's teachers.

Yes.

And you said that changed everything. So I am dying to hear about this.

They— these women, like, I can't even express what a godsend. These teachers, these mothers themselves, but especially for my experience in the preschool years when there was so much— it never goes away. The uncertainty never goes away and the needing the support from the teachers never goes away, but it does shift and change. As the kids become older. And in the preschool years, so much of it, you're looking to them almost as like a co-parent, like another parent. And you're like, is my kid— is this normal? Is my kid going to be okay? How do I help them when I don't know what to do? And Matthew— so the 3 teachers, Mrs. Craft, Mrs. Tunney, and Mrs. Marino, were just 3— I mean, all of their preschool teachers have been phenomenal. There's too many to list. So I did say to all the preschool teachers, but these these 3 in particular, they got the boys. They saw what made them shine. They saw how to bring out the best in them. And with Matthew and Mrs. Kraft, she just saw what made him tick cognitively, and she helped inspire him. And she was— I have a funny story of one instance where she just helped when he was melting during a meltdown, and I couldn't— it made an imprint. It imprinted. Mm-hmm. It was Halloween, and it was my first Halloween with, like, you know, a kid— with one of my kids being in a class with costume parties and cupcakes. And I was looking forward to that so much as a parent. And Matthew had picked out this race car driver costume weeks ago from, like, Blaze and the Monster Machines. And he'd worn it. He'd played in it. He had worn the costume and picked it. And Halloween morning, I have no idea. He would have been 3. I guess he was 3. I don't know. But he just didn't want to put the costume on. And I'm like, you're going to put the costume on. And he's like, no. And he wouldn't wear it. So me, I'm like, you're going to put the costume on. I shoved him in that costume. Like, you know, it was like starfish. And I take him to school and he's screaming and snot everywhere. And I just kept thinking, when we get into the classroom, he will be fine. He'll see the party, he'll get excited, he'll snap out of it, and he'll go inside.

Nope.

Nope. He just face-planted on the floor outside the classroom, and he just was hysterical. So I remember Mrs. Craft, she comes out, she's like, he's pretty upset. Let me see if I can— because I'm like ready. I'm like near tears myself, right? Because I'm holding these 24 cupcakes of big green monsters that I've made. And like, and this crying kid. And so he's ripped off the costume Hulk style. Mrs. Kraft, I just remember she like lifts him up physically off the floor and carries him inside. And when I like the co-teacher, she comes out, she's like, do you need a hug? I'm like, I need a hug. And when I peeked in the door, she's got Matthew sitting and she's reading to him. The costume is gone. And she settled him down. And he was the only kid not in costume for the parade. But I remember thinking to myself, that level of zen is what I aspire to because I did not have it in that moment.

Well, but I feel like when we, we can't have it all the time, and when we don't have it, we have to, we have to hope that there's someone to tag team in.

And it's, and it's, it's insane how much we rely on these teachers, especially when they're so little and they're these teachers are trying to figure out what makes sometimes 20, 24, 25 different kids tick. And yet when they're able to exude that level of compassion that reaches both the kids and the parents, I mean, they're like superheroes. I remember for Mrs. Tunney and Mrs. Marino, what made such an impression on me was that Luke at the time was coming out of the lockdown. So he was 3 years old during a pandemic where we'd be driving by a playground and you'd see the yellow caution tape up because you're not allowed on the playgrounds during that summer. And he'd be in the car, he'd be like, oh, it's a playground, can we go? And we're like, sorry, buddy, it's closed. And the sun is shining and the playground's closed. And you just see him like, like he kind of like just, you could see him like just withering in on himself. And when he finally got back into the classroom with those two particular teachers over the next year and a half, they just helped him to blossom and to find his voice again and to speak louder and to not— because he was like, he was kind of pokey. He didn't know how to use his words because he'd been removed from a classroom and peers. And they just, they helped him to grow. And I couldn't— like the, the level of gratitude for these teachers that bring out the best in our kids when it's even more than we can do as parents. Like, I— it's mind-boggling. So yeah, that's— I, I needed them probably more than they realized.

Oh, I'm so glad that you had good teachers to help. And I mean, I have to tell you, you know, for everybody listening, I think one of the biggest lessons for mothers is that we can't be everything for our kids. And I think sometimes we forget that.

We try. We will. So mothers, like, you know, mothers will always be the moms. Like, we have that special role, that special connection. Both of my— my experience has been both of my boys behave very differently for me than they do for teachers. And so there's certain things that I can do to help them, and then there's certain things that I just— either they need to figure out on their own or they need an outside source to help them learn, learn that. And it's— that's hard as a parent. That's really hard when you want to help your kid and you feel like you, you, you can't. That's that, like, letting, letting go and trusting other people and trusting your village. It's, it's hard, but it's, it's necessary.

Oh my gosh, all I have to say to that is math. Class and I'm out. I'm not helping you. Find somebody else. I have done that for like 30 years.

Oh man.

So I love that you say that we need to embrace the Yeti. Can you, can you tell us what that means? Cause that's great.

It means appreciating the, appreciating these big feelings as not being wrong. Not being bad when kids are having tantrums. Oh, man, it's the worst. But when kids are having tantrums, that's because they're learning how to navigate their feelings. And it's really hard as a parent of a little kid. It's really hard for me right now, even with when they're older, when you're not— your immediate thought is something's wrong. What do I do? Like, do I need help? Is there something? Is there someone I need to be talking to? And I found, I mean, now having the hindsight from the younger years, it's nice having 20/20 hindsight. Yeah. But during the younger years, a lot of these, many of these big feelings were just them learning to self-regulate. That doesn't make it easy. That doesn't make it like, you know, where you're not trying to keep— of course you're trying to keep them safe and you're trying to keep your sanity and you're trying to just get through the day. But the big feelings are a part of their growing process. And one of the main things that I've— that I continue to learn is that it's not just them growing up, it's me growing along with them and growing into the best parent for them. Because I— when I first had Matthew, I thought I was like, I'm going to— I'm going to— I'm going to do this. Let's do this. We got this. And then when you realize you have no control over the chaos, I'm like, I— I don't got this. What do I do? But we're growing. We're growing as parents, too. And that's a hard thing to come to terms with, to realize that you yourself, as much as you feel like you know how to navigate this, that you don't until you've done it.

And I laugh with my oldest, and I tell him he's my guinea pig. And I'm like, you just have to understand that I'm learning with you, right? Because he's the oldest. No idea what junior year in high school entails. I'm doing it with you. It's true.

It's so true. And, you know, when now, I mean, now looking back, I mean, what their big feelings are, what made them special. And when I'm going to the preschool classrooms and reading, I'm seeing all those big feelings again from all the little kids. And it's adorable. And it's just so heartwarming to know that that's how they're expressing themselves. It's easier when you're not the one with the kid breaking down in the supermarket. But when we get to share these stories with each other as parents, then we feel like a camaraderie as well.

Absolutely. I mean, I feel like when I'm in the supermarket and I see somebody struggling with their kids, you're like, yeah, I'm with you. I have been there. I send you strength and love.

I have a lot more compassion now. I feel like when I see parents struggling, not that I was ever— I was never in the supermarket pre-kids being like, oh, that parent can't control their child. Who are they?

Right.

But I feel a lot more compassion when I see the kid having a meltdown now. And I'm like, oh, man, that's a rough— that might be a glass of wine night when they get home.

For sure. Absolutely. Can you tell us— I know that there's different creatures to help the children understand and express. Can you tell us about some of them that are in your story? In—

well, this one is just the Yeti.

This one's just the Yeti.

This one's just the Yeti. So the whole Mighty Mood series. So there's two more books planned. Oh, yes. You've got 3 books planned so far. And so the next characters haven't been revealed yet, but they will be soon.

So stay tuned.

Stay tuned. But think larger than life creatures that are silly and zany and that kids will really enjoy reading about and kind of self-identifying with.

Oh, I'm excited. There's lots in the works coming, right?

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Oh my gosh. Well, okay, so with all of the parenting that you have done so far, what do you think the best advice is that you have ever gotten or received— you have ever given or received, if I could say the question correctly?

Um, I— so, I mean, you know, there's, there's just loads, loads of parenting advice.

Um, no, we get so much.

I, you know, I think the one that I, I've been remembering, and it's not to say that it's the single best piece of advice I've ever gotten, but it's one that stuck with me for the past almost 9 years. When Matthew was first born, I was really naive. I thought that I was really in control. And I remember telling my coworkers because I was still an editor, I went on maternity leave like 3 days before I had him. It just so happened, like, I wasn't due for another 2 weeks, but when I left, I told my coworkers, I'm like, I'm going to keep the baby inside until I finish all my projects, wrap everything up. I mean, that was the dumbest thing.

That was the goal.

To think that I had control over— I did not. But I remember when he was a newborn, I didn't know how to operate without without sleep, without— not that it was just without sleep, but without any structure. And he was our first, and we had no nap schedule, no daily schedule. It was winter. And so we would like— he'd be up all night. We'd finally kind of start our day around 11 or 12, like, you know, because there's sleep when the baby sleeps. And we'd finally start our day. And then by like 2, 3 o'clock, it was already starting to get dark. And I'm like, oh my God, the night is starting.

Oh no.

And there was one coworker who I was talking with, and I remember he goes, just let the chaos wash over you. Just go with it. Just let it, just let it, let it wash right over you. And it really stuck with me when he said that because it was a very visual way of accepting there's just not going to be the same level of control that I was used to. Not right now. And never truly again. But in that very beginning stage, you just have to go with it. And the letting go of learning to let go of the control in a healthy way was, I think, one of the best parenting advice, pieces of advice that I've ever gotten.

I think every single one of us who just heard that needed to hear that. I think I need to hear that over over and over again.

I need to keep reminding myself of it and keep being reminded.

Oh my gosh, I— when I went over my day today, I was like, one step at a time. Like, just embrace it, love it, go with it.

Yeah, exactly. You move a mountain one grain of sand.

Oh my God, I love your advice. Now, I know that a lot of parents struggle to communicate with school. I know that's a big thing, and I know that you have done such a good job Any advice? You're definitely succeeding. I mean, any advice for the parents who are struggling to communicate with the school?

I think, I mean, I think my advice would be to view the teachers— do your best to view the teachers as someone you're working with, not against. There's going to be different personalities. All the time. And at the end of the day, you as the parent are your child's biggest advocate. So you know if something's not working, if something's not right. But the teachers, you know, my experience has been every single teacher has been trying to do their best to figure out what works for the kid or to try to work with the kid. And so I've always approached, I've always tried to approach the, the, the teachers Like if they're telling— if they're coming to me and saying that something— there's been a problem in class or this happened today, I always try to approach it as, how can I help? What can I— what can I do to reiterate what you went over in class at home or reinforce? And I view it as a working collaboratively. I— because, you know, I don't think I don't think any teacher gets the kid and is like, you know, that one, that's the one that I'm going to pick. Like, no, they want to help them. And so, you know, it's easy to have— it's very, very easy to have a knee-jerk reaction when you hear that something's wrong and be like, well, what was the other kid doing? What was wrong? Like, you know, my kid didn't do anything wrong. But that's not the point of the conversation. The point of the conversation is to help the kid in whatever happened, not to accuse. At least that's That's how I've always tried to approach it. And I do find that talking face to face wherever possible or on the phone is much, much better than emails because even though emails are a necessity, so much gets lost in translation, especially when it comes to anything school-related. It's different in the preschool years versus the I mean, the boys were in a very small, like, you know, private church-run preschool. When you get into public school, things are different. Each school is different in what they're allowed to communicate in writing. So when you're able to have a conversation, it humanizes it. You're able to say, what can we do to work together? We're going to do X, Y, and Z. I try to view it as teamwork.

I love that. I think that all of us can easily go to being defensive. Teachers too. Parents, teachers.

Absolutely.

And I think that if we could get rid of defensiveness, even in marriage, right? If we could just eliminate defensiveness, I think so many relationships would be so much easier.

Yeah. Yeah. We were very fortunate. In the— thinking back to the preschool years, just, we had some very, very loving preschool teachers who I came to view as friends and like as second parental or mother figures for the boys. They all, they loved them. It was so cute. They still, if they see them, they still give them hugs.

Oh, I love that. Now, I can't even tell you how many women have said to me that they wanted to write something and and haven't started and don't know where to start. And any advice to anyone listening who wants to write a book, an article, something, and they just can't get themselves to begin?

I mean, can't get themselves to begin. So if you're talking about the actual inspiration, I mean, the best thing to do is to— when I say to just start, I don't mean like to come like, oh, just start. But you have to have something on paper before you can move forward. Yeah, you have to. If it's just an idea, that's great, but it will stay an idea until you put it down. And it takes time. It took a long time to finesse Yeti. The actual— for me, the actual writing is pretty quick, but then the reworking and the shaping and molding into the best version, that takes That takes time. So if someone's got an idea for a book and they really want to give it a go, you get it down and you get it to a place where you think that it's what you think is like the best possible. And then actually publishing is a whole other story.

Yeah.

I don't know, you know, there's lots of different routes. There's obviously self-publishing is huge now, which which many people do do successfully, getting something like officially published, you have to really find an agent to be your advocate. And I was connected with my agent through work connections. So, you know, it's like I'd been in the industry for over 10 years, for 13 years or so. And so it's like any— it's like a career, you know, it's who you know, who you've made connections with, who you can reach out to. And then in that case, like, you know, like, you know, truly like getting published the traditional way, when you have, when you have an agent, that's, that's your advocate.

That's really good. Yeah, no, that's excellent advice. I hope that somebody listening will start their book today.

Yes.

So is there anything else that you want to share? Because I've asked you so many questions.

I, you know, I think the only other thing that I'm just so excited about is that when I've been reading the book to the kids, because it's written in rhyme, it's meant to be read aloud, it's meant to be silly and fun. And I like, I love seeing how the kids are responding and are reacting to it. That's everything to me, to see that they're enjoying something that I thought up of because of my own experience, that they're able to share that now is incredible to me. So I'm really grateful to have the opportunity to share this story with the world. That's crazy to me.

It's wonderful. Tell everybody where they can find your book and all your books and where they can find you. Sure.

So I have a website which is meredithrusu.com. So it's just my first, last name and then.com. I'm also on Instagram @meredithrusuwrites. So it's like my name and then W-R-I-T-E-S. And so on my website you can find all of my license titles and all of the books, like, you know, and all of my now original work. And on my Instagram, you'll see snippets of my events and where I'm doing readings, or if there's exciting stuff in the works. That's where we're going to reveal the next characters in the Mighty Mood series.

So exciting. Yeah.

And those are the two best places to find me. And then my books are obviously on Amazon and Barnes Noble and local— any retailer where fine books are sold. And the libraries, of course, too.

Oh my goodness. Well, I absolutely loved getting to talk to you and learn about the Yeti.

Oh, thank you. Thank you for having me. This was wonderful.

This is Rebecca Green reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving. Thank you, Meredith.

Thank you so much, Rebecca.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, Please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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