Episode 286: Becoming Your Best Version with Maria Leonard Olsen

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the Winey Cruza Podcast, and I am so excited to talk to Maria Leonard Olsen today. Maria, thank you so much for being here with me today.

Oh gosh, thank you for having me. I, um, I love your show. I love your social media, and I'm really happy to be here.

Oh, you're so sweet, and I want to tell everybody about you because you are such a cool lady with so much to say. We're going to learn so much from you today. And I wanna tell you all that at 50, Maria found herself in a failing marriage, drinking excessively, willfully derailing her successful law career, and feeling her teenage children pull away from needing her. She was depressed and stuck. On her 50th birthday, Maria decided her gift to herself was to go on a crusade to make the most of whatever time she had left. She set out to do 50 new things that were significant. The list spanned from physical challenges, adventure, travel, lifestyle changes, and each taught her something about herself and about how she wanted to lead the next years of her life to come. This work transitioned into a passion to help others. Maria is a motivational speaker, self-help and children's books author, podcast host, radio host, and book marketing consultant. Wow, are you a busy lady!

Ah, yes, I am.

We, we were just bonding over the fact that we both overschedule ourselves.

Yes, I do.

So I would love to know— I mean, I want to know so much from you, but start with us and tell us your story and what led to your journey of self-discovery and improvement.

Okay, well, uh, you can read about it in my book 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life, or you can listen to my TEDx talk Turning Life's Challenges into a Force for Good. But what happened was I was a successful lawyer. I worked in one of the biggest law firms in DC. I was a political appointee in the Clinton Justice Department. I was a successful lawyer. And then I had children and everything about the law just paled in comparison to how I felt about my children. So when my second child— my first child was born, I went part-time. My second child was born, I quit altogether. And I knew this was a bad idea, but I put all my eggs in the motherhood basket and I strove to be the best mother I could possibly be. I attacked it like I did my litigation cases. I read every single child childcare book I could find. I, I subscribed to Parenting, Parents magazine, Child, everything. I thought that I could learn how to be the best mother and I would do it. You know, I am a recovering perfectionist. And so that's how I approached motherhood. I gave up my career willingly because I was a latchkey kid, and that was not that popular in the '70s. But I was, and I came from what they used to call a broken home. My parents divorced when I was only 6 years old, and I vowed to myself I would never do this to my children. I would be at every single event in their lives because my mother wasn't. She was a busy professional. She just couldn't do it. My father was an alcoholic. He couldn't do it. And I felt very alone. So I did it. I chaired the auctions, the PTA, everything I could do. Because that's what I wanted for little Maria inner child. So I did it, and I'm proud that I did it. But then they became adolescents and they started pushing me away, and I was like, what? What? Like, I gave up my big lucrative law career. I was even making more than my then-husband at the time because I was a year ahead of him in law school, and big law firms are kind of lockstep in what they pay associates. So I was bereft. I was like, this is not happening to me. This is not. And I turned to alcohol and I started drinking by myself. I was hiding bottles all over the house. It got worse and worse and worse until my husband gave me an ultimatum. You either go to AA or get out. And I, uh, did go to AA and I found the most supportive, nonjudgmental people I have ever encountered. And in a city where I live, like Washington, DC, That's hard to find.

Yeah.

So, um, I blew up my marriage. I started drinking. Well, before getting to AA, I drank and drank and drank and drowned my sorrows and, um, acted out and blew up my family. After 25 years of being with a wonderful man, uh, I lost myself and I take 90% of the blame for the demise of my marriage, but, you know, everybody— I'm not going to say anything negative about him because he's a very, very good man and a good father. Um, I'm a little bit sad that he married his fitness instructor, but whatever. It's okay, it's okay. Everybody has to go their own paths. And we, we raised together two amazing young adults of whom I'm very proud. So, um, it was a very public breakup because I had been so involved in the community. And so, uh, for instance, my 40th birthday had— was 200 people. It was an all about Maria party at a very grand mansion where people dressed in costumes from the period in which they met me. Like my My friends came with baby bumps. My high school girlfriends came in track outfits or '80s outfits. It was hilarious, but it was—

that's amazing.

It was huge. Yeah. So I was nearing 50 and the same people were asking me, so what's— what are you going to do for 50? Well, at that point I wanted to hide. I was so ashamed of what I had done. So I decided I would try 50 new things to determine how I wanted to live this next chapter. And I wasn't planning to write a book, but people kept asking me for the list. It really resonated with a lot of people. So I tried 50 new things, and you describe what some of what areas those 50 things came from, but they were from lifestyle changes. Like, I adopted a meditation practice that I hadn't had before. I sold most of my belongings and moved to Nepal, high in the Himalayas, to volunteer at school, which probably nobody else will do. But what that did for me was it was an exercise in cultivating gratitude. Instead of focusing on all I had lost, I could focus on all I still had. I mean, just by virtue of living in the United States, we have access to clean water and medical care. There's a really big safety net for all. And I was working with children who didn't have shoes, even though there were snow on the ground, for people who didn't have electricity, or I used an outhouse for 2 months. Like, no one I know would probably choose to do that. No, no, but it reset me and my life, and I came back feeling so grateful for the things in my life that I had. So, uh, if you want to go further into the things that— other things that I did, I'm happy to do that as well.

Well, I'm curious, you know, there's 50 things. I don't expect you to go through all 50 things, but I would love—

like, I—

like, you gave examples, but like, what was— what did you take away? Like, what was the most meaningful thing to you, or what were a few of the most meaningful things and what you learned from them? Because I can only imagine. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, well, um, One of the things I did is my son is a trained actor, singer, and dancer who went to conservatory and has performed on, in musicals, on TV, and in movies. And I am a terrible singer, but I wanted to know what that felt like to get on stage. So I went to an open mic where I didn't know anybody, and I got up on stage and belted out a song. And I was terrible. And people were like, one applause as I left the stage. But what that taught me is that I can be scared and still do it anyway. And courage is not the absence of fear, but courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. So I'm never again going to get up on the stage and sing. But it also helped me be more courageous about my public speaking, like doing the TED Talk that I did. Like getting on stage at the National March to End Rape Culture and talk about my sexual assault. And that took a lot of guts. But having done that little open mic thing just for me helped me be more courageous about being on stage.

Okay, so as you went through these 50 things, okay, I obviously want to know more. So you— did you plan out the 50 things, and did you have to, like, push yourself along the way, or did you just, you know, come up with things as you went to come up to 50?

Well, it was kind of an organic process, and about halfway through, I did contact an agent and say, do you think this would— this book would be a good idea? Would you represent me? And she said, yes, it's a great idea. So I had a notes function on my iPhone, and I started keeping a list of potential ideas. And then I would add to it and subtract from it as I learned about new things I wanted to try. And then she also wanted me to categorize, uh, what I was doing into spiritual, lifestyle changes, learning and teaching, social activities. So that sort of drove me towards certain, certain activities and away from others. So I became more conscious with a book in mind of what I wanted to do to have a lot of variety and to fill all the categories that my agent said would be of most use to readers. So I am an avid reader. I listen to lots of podcasts. I am on all social media. And so I keep lists. I still do it. I mean, I'm 60 now and I keep lists of things I might want to try. And that just keeps me, I think, vital, vibrant, continuing to learn. And I'm very conscious that I have lived more of my life than I have ahead of me. So I want to drink fully from the cup of life. I want to try everything I possibly can before I die.

So, wow, that's, that's that. So what is most challenging for you to push yourself to do these new things?

Well, we all have an inner critic, and I have worked really hard to— through therapy, I learned this in therapy— to talk back to my inner critic and to say, for instance, shame, I see you, but you're not welcome here. And I have to continue that dialogue daily, sometimes hourly. It just depends what's happening in my life. And when I don't pay attention to my spiritual health, my sense of groundedness, then things get out of whack. So I have to continually ground myself. I am a big fan of box breathing, or it's like the 16-second meditation where you breathe in to a count of 4, hold it, breathe out to a count of 4, hold it out. That re-centers me. I have a busy litigation practice. I go to court. I fight with other counsel. And I use this, I use it every day. And I'm also a big fan of walking meditations, even if that means from my car to my office, taking a few deep breaths so that I'm centered when I get into the office.

Absolutely. That's really good advice. So I don't like regrets. I like to say that we should have no regrets. But from what you have said so far with being 60 years old and everything you've learned along the way, Is there anything that you would do differently from what you know?

Absolutely. Absolutely there are things that I would have done differently. I would have, for instance, when I was unhappy in my marriage, asked my then husband to go to counseling. I would have at least gotten a trial separation before blowing up my family. I really wish I could do that differently. I wish that I had been on the floor playing with my children more and not thinking about, oh my gosh, I've got to go to the grocery store. I've got to do this, this, and this before 6:00 dinner. I was a perfectionist. I wanted when my husband walked in the door at 6:00 PM, dinner to be on the table, kids to be happy, homework to have been started. And that was a focus that made me sick inside. I mean, I was constantly stressed at trying to be the, quote, perfect mother. I wish I had let more things go and just gotten on the floor and played with them more and not cared what my house looked like.

If we could go back.

Yes.

Yes. That is really— so if you're listening and your children are on the floor playing, put the laundry down and go play with your kids.

Absolutely. I mean, my children are 20. 5 and 28. My son was such a mama's boy who used to say, "Mommy, will you stay in my bed until I fall asleep?" And I would be thinking, "Oh my gosh, I've got to do this, this, and this. I really don't want to." And I would be waiting for him to fall asleep, and I try to tiptoe out, and then he'd be like, "No, Mom, please don't leave." And now he will barely hug me. I mean, seriously, I would pay thousands of dollars to have him want me. To be with him and hug me. Like, is that too much to ask? Maybe, maybe not. But listen, we gave birth to them. They need to hug us. I mean, it started about age 12 where I started getting the shoulder hug, like he'd turn his body and he wouldn't let me hug him. And even my daughter, she is a very loving person, but she's, she's an introvert. I'm an extrovert. We have difficulties. With our dynamic, and I have to respect her boundaries. And if I could, I would hug her for like 10 minutes, but she will— she doesn't want that, and I have to respect her boundaries.

Oh my gosh, I, I really relate to you. It's hard for an extroverted mother to have an introverted child. I do understand. I really do. So to the woman listening who may be feeling stuck, depressed, depressed, down on herself. Can you give her some advice from everything you've learned?

Yes, you do not have to do this alone. Don't suffer in silence. Get yourself a therapist. I mean, I know that there is still a lot of fear around therapy. There is even stigma in some quarters. My mom, I believe, would benefit greatly from therapy, but she's 81 years old. I come from— she's from the Philippines, and there's a lot of stigma in Asian cultures about seeking outside help. But you don't have to do that. You don't have to do it. Break the cycle of shame if that's part of your family dynamic and try a couple of different therapists because it's not a one-size-fits-all. I have had great therapists in my lifetime and terrible therapists in my lifetime. You are paying for it. So you are allowed to say, I'm sorry, this— you don't even have to say I'm sorry. Say this is not working for me. Thank you for your service, and walk out. Or have a few informational interviews, or try online therapy if you're nervous about anyone seeing you, which I used to be, but I'm not anymore. And there are so many support groups online. I'm a big fan of Al-Anon, which started as a support group for people who are in relationship with drug addicts or alcoholics, but it has expanded for people who are in any sort of dysfunctional relationships. Same is true for adult children of alcoholics. And because of the pandemic, one gift of the pandemic is so much is online. And if you're not ready to try therapy, try listening to really great podcasts, TED Talks, um, just Google on YouTube anxiety or depression. You'll find so much helpful stuff out there. Of course, you need to weed through the stuff that is not helpful, but there is help available. Don't suffer alone.

That's really good. That's really good. And a therapist that might be good for me may not be good for you. So, you know, exactly.

Very true.

So, so you've been sober for, did you tell me 11 years?

11 years. Yes.

So how have you achieved that amazing goal? Because that's a long time.

Thank you. I was scared to go to AA. I had a preconceived notion that it was for the bums under the bridge. I did not want to go, and I sat outside a local AA meeting for several weeks not going in, watching people. And then I started seeing people from my church go in and people that I knew from childhood, and I said to myself, wow, well, if they can do it, then I can do it. So I went in and I was greeted by a person I have known my entire life who took me under his wing and introduced me to who I call my sober sisters, who, one of whom became my sponsor. All of these women are in my life still. And I now am very— one of the reasons I'm very public about my alcoholism and recovery is because I've taken countless women from my church, my children's schools, from my neighborhood, from my office to AA meetings. And if you're a woman listening, I highly recommend trying to find an all-women's meeting, whether it's online or in person. It's, it's just less scary. And because 12-step programs do attract people who also have mental illness, um, it's a good idea to try a few different meetings and find a meeting that feels comfortable for you.

Yeah, I, I think it's really wonderful that you're sharing all of this because there might be somebody standing outside a meeting who is afraid to go in. Yeah, so I didn't think about it like that.

Yeah, you also can go online and you don't even have to show your picture. All these Zoom meetings, go to— just Google AA or Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics, and they have a list that where you can find meetings online. You don't even have to put your name on there. You just say it will just show your number if you happen to be on your cell phone, or you can— nobody uses last names in 12-step programs. You can even make up a name. You can say, you know, Jane X, and just not even show your profile picture until you feel comfortable. I mean, I encourage everyone to Find like-minded people in the room and get sponsors because it— sponsors are, are like mentors, are like really good friends who can help you, um, navigate life, really. And nothing is off limits when you have a good sponsor.

So do you feel like you supporting others and paying it forward is helping you?

Absolutely. That is part of the 12 steps. It's the 12th step, actually, for all the 12-step programs. And I need to pay it forward to reinforce the lessons that I have learned. And, uh, doing esteemable acts makes me feel— have greater self-esteem. Uh, it is a great way to reinforce your learning and to make you feel better about yourself. And I also want to add the caveat that 12-step programs are not the only way to get sober. There's something called She Recovers, which is a very good group. There are Buddhist-based recovery groups. There are yoga-based recovery groups. It's not the only one, but it helped. It worked for me. My, my son, who has 6 years of sobriety, he doesn't go to 12-step meetings anymore. He did in the beginning, but he doesn't anymore. And he found other ways of staying sober. So take what feeds you and leave the, leave the rest.

Now, do you two help each other? Do you feel like you helped him in his recovery or he has helped you?

Well, my son is very much in the public eye for those who are in the TikTok or Instagram communities. TikTok @chris, Instagram Chris Olson. Anyway, he has 12 million followers. He was People magazine's Sexiest TikToker Alive. He's been in the New York Times, Rolling Stones. He goes to the Oscars every year. Please bring me someday, son. He did the red carpet show at the Cannes Film Festival this year. He's AMFAR's ambassador. I'm, I'm just amazed and delighted at his success. Now, uh, I was codependent on my son, and that was a big problem. So when he was in rehab, um, his counselor forbade me from talking to him for 2 months, and it tore me apart. It was horrible, horrible. But I have learned how to work on my codependency. I did go to Codependents Anonymous, another 12-step group. I went to a lot of therapy because it wasn't healthy for me or for him, for my happiness to depend on whether he was happy. I had to give both of my children room to make their own mistakes and to live their own lives, even though I thought in my great wisdom that I could save them from mistakes and save them from pain. But that is not my job. I am not my children's higher power, and that was a very hard pill for me to swallow. So, um, my son, he's 25. He doesn't share all that much with me, but, um, I have a Google alert on him, so I read every single interview written about him. I listen to him on podcasts and television shows. Drew Barrymore has had him on a couple times, and his best friend is Meghan Trainor, so he's on her podcast frequently.

Oh my gosh, I have to go look up who your son is.

Oh, thank you, thank you. He's amazing. But so I alternatively read things where he says And this hurts. My mother blew up our family when I was 13, and I went to a very dark place and, uh, tried a lot of bad things. And that hurts my heart, but that is true what happened.

Oh my gosh, I know your son. I know your son.

Oh, thank you. Isn't he hilarious? Okay, I'm sorry.

Instagram finding her son. Don't mind me. He's adorable.

He is. He's wonderful. And he's doing a lot in the mental health arena, making it less scary for young people to go to mental health practitioners. He sometimes records— well, I don't know if I should say this, but fake sessions with the therapist. But he makes people laugh.

And then he's so funny.

He's super funny. So anyway, um, but I also read recently an interview in which he said— the interviewer asked him if he was scared to go to rehab, and he said, well, my mother went 5 years before I did, and she's doing well, so no, I'm not— I wasn't scared. And I cried. I cried.

Oh, it feels good to be a good example.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, there are silver linings. To everything. There are lessons from every situation, and every person has the capacity to teach us something if we're open to the lesson. So I feel regret, but I don't dwell in it. I feel shame from time to time, but I don't dwell on it. I am living my amends to my adult children by continuing to work on myself, continuing to be happy myself. If I'm a happy mom, that helps them be happy children. They want me to be happy. 100%.

Yes, they do. They want you to be happy, and they don't want— they don't want to be our everything. They want us to have stuff that's not them, right?

Exactly.

Yes. Okay, so to this non-adventurous woman sitting, sitting here talking to you, let's talk about adventure for a minute. Okay, so What can we do to keep some adventure in our lives and push ourselves to do things outside of our family?

Okay, I understand that I am an extreme person, but that's just who I am.

I think you're awesome.

I have been to 62 countries now. Uh, I— one of my goals was to get to 60 countries by the end of my 60th year, and I'm already at 62, so I'm really happy about that. And Until I am blessed with grandchildren or my mother needs me to take care of her full-time, I am going to travel as much as humanly possible. And I feel very grateful that I can do my job remotely for the most part. So, and I have other lawyers at firm who— at my firm who will cover my court appearances if it's not really important. So I'm extraordinarily blessed now. I know a lot of people don't like to travel or try ziplining through rainforests and stuff that I do. I get it. But what I would encourage you to do is to do more walking, like maybe walk, drive over to the next town and walk. Like walking has opened my eyes to gardens I never noticed before, walking labyrinths I never noticed that I sped by. In my car probably 100 times. Beauty is all around us. Look up on travel websites what is supposed to be the highlight of anything near you and go there. Like, I live in the, the nation's capital and I had not visited some of the Smithsonian offerings or embassies. And I, I take advantage of everything now. I am on alerts from the county I live in, Washington, D.C. I just, I started a separate email account so my main inbox isn't flooded, but for all these newsletters about fun things to do within a 100-mile radius of where I live. So think about that for your kids or for yourself. The world is our oyster, really. And how many of us lost people during the pandemic? A lot of us. So time is ticking. How many of us have friends whose family members or friends developed some kind of illness? Like, we never know when that time is coming for us. Sorry, I'm running out of battery, so I'm plugging my phone in.

I mean, my computer in.

Okay, okay. So you never know when you're going to get that bad diagnosis or one of your kids is going to need you more. If you are able to walk, just start by walking. If you are able to travel, take a very small trip. Take one child out at a time. Like, kids really value one-on-one time. And that is something I started when my kids were little, that we would have Mommy and Daddy Day. And we only had two children, so each of us would take a child for the day and have one-on-one time with that child. But, um, you know, do stuff for yourself too. Don't do what I did and put all your eggs in the motherhood basket. Take a class at a nearby college. Take an online class. There's so many free online classes right now. I took a class on writing at American University, and I found this vibrant group of wonderful women with whom I'm still friends, and we become our writing accountability partners. We share ideas. One of them started this huge foundation at which she had me speak. So just start, start small. Maybe use the notes function on your phone or even a pad of paper and write down all the things that you'd like to try some point time in your life, and then prioritize them and see what is really feasible for you and what isn't. I mean, none of it— nobody— I'm not a millionaire, but I know how to travel on a budget, and I knew how to prioritize things that I really wanted to do and things that are kind of pipe dreams or hope. I hope I get to do that someday, but if it's at all within my power, I'm doing it.

Well, and I like that you're not telling us to, like, fly to another country, which I would like to do, but you're making it seem small and manageable.

Yeah, there are a lot of things that we can do to— if you're not living, you're dying. If you don't like how your life is right now, change something, because not doing anything is a choice too. But it's not advancing the ball. I mean, don't— I hope your listeners don't settle for mediocrity. I mean, all of us have the capacity to listen to a podcast while we're getting dressed, while we're doing the laundry, while we're cooking. I do that every day. I listen to a TED Talk or a podcast while I'm getting dressed or cooking, and that, and when I'm commuting, especially when I'm commuting. And that might spark an idea in you about something you want to try or a point of view you hadn't considered.

You have a favorite one that you can share with us that we could learn from?

Well, I really like TED Talks because the premise behind TED is sharing an idea worth listening to. So I get daily emails about this TED Talk might be of interest to you because they start following what you're following.

Yeah.

Podcasts. Almost all my podcasts are self-helpy podcasts because I always want to be a better version of me. So I can look and see which ones. And I also really like Katie Couric. I'm really sad that she left the Today Show, but when I want some really good takes on the news. I listen to her on, um, on YouTube, or yeah, she has her own channel on YouTube. I really like right now something called The Happiness Lab. That's my favorite podcast, and, um, it gives you ideas on how to increase happiness in your life.

Love that.

Yeah.

Well, we were talking about how busy you are, and I introduced you and I was telling everyone how busy you are. So give us advice on balancing your act, your life of lots of things.

Okay. Well, because I am a recovering people pleaser, I don't think I ever once used the word no before I turned 50. I tried to make it work. So I have had to learn, and I did it through working with my AA sponsor, through mentorship and therapy, that no can be a complete sentence. I'm not there yet, but what I am able to say is, I'm sorry, I have another commitment. And that commitment could be anything. It could be simply putting my feet up and recharging my batteries, and I don't owe anyone an explanation. For what that commitment is. Yeah, it doesn't matter. So I just got back from a 2.5-week trip to Cambodia and Vietnam. And so I am frenzied catching up on all the things that I didn't do in the last 2.5 weeks. But that being said, I am going to a healing circle tonight because I can feel my anxiety building and I can feel that I am off-centered. So I avail myself of resources to help me get back on track. And after we get off of this call, I am going to cancel something because I triple booked for tonight to go to 3 different things. So I'm not going to do that. And I'm going to say, I'm sorry, another commitment has arisen. I will not be able to attend, blah, blah, blah. And I encourage all of you to do that. I also encourage all of your listeners to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, people who encourage you. And stay away from energy vampires. We all have them. There are some family members perhaps who are energy vampires that you have to see, like at holidays, but you can limit your time spent with them. You can say, be pleasant, you can be civil and say hi, it's very nice to see you, and then go help in the kitchen. Like, stay away. You don't owe people in most situations your time and energy. So that helps me stay centered and prioritize how I want to spend my time. And who I want to spend my limited resource of time with. I mean, time is the one thing you cannot buy. You can't— once you spend it, it's gone. So be intentional about how you want to spend each day. Yes.

Oh, for sure. Definitely. What are you most proud of?

I am most proud of, of getting sober because that enabled me to repair my relationships with everyone in my life. It enabled me to become a successful public speaker, author, podcaster. Uh, it helped me have healthier relationships with everyone with whom I come in contact. It helped me be a better lawyer. I had to go back to practicing law because I was so filled with shame for blowing up my family that I didn't ask for alimony. Don't do that. All of you get the alimony if you are getting divorced. But I didn't, and it's fine. And I took another bar exam.

Can we change that? Can we go back?

No, we can't. But I had to take another state bar exam, and that made me feel really proud that my brain had not turned to mush. That I could still practice. I— sobriety was the thing that opened the door to everything in my life over the last decade, and I am a better person because I am centered. I practice— oh, prayer and meditation are part of the 12 steps, and it has made everything in my life better. So even though listeners might not be— have a problem with alcohol or drugs or acting out or whatever it is. Um, working on yourself, as I worked on myself to become a better version of who I am, addressing my character defects— all of us have character defects— enabled me to be a better human and therefore a better mother, friend, colleague, everything.

Well, I want to congratulate you because I am so impressed with you. I mean, beyond impressed with you.

Well, I'm impressed with you too. I can— how many children do you have?

I have 3. 3?

I couldn't handle more than 2. That was my bandwidth. So I wanted more.

I was told, you know, I got the third. That was a good— that was good enough.

Good for you. I would like to have— I would have liked to have a third, and I desperately want grandchildren, and my kids are nowhere near Nowhere near that.

So, well, I hope, I hope that that dream comes true.

Me too.

So, I mean, I asked you so many questions. Is there anything else that you would like to share with us?

I guess, um, really I want to make the most of whatever time I have left. And I've lost a lot of friends in the last 10 years to various diseases. And because I am in recovery and we really are hard on, on our bodies. A lot of my friends die of heart attacks and various forms of cancer. And I just want you to think about this: your life is happening right now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Don't wait to tell someone you love them. Don't wait to do something that's really important to you. If you have hurt someone, make amends. Call them, text them, Write them up, an old-fashioned letter. You don't know if it's going to be too late tomorrow. So just do it. Do it. Oh boy.

It's true. It's true. It's sad and it's true. So tell everyone where to find your book and you.

Okay, well, just go to my website, marialeonardolson.com, and I'm sure that'll be in the show notes. There's a link there to everything I do. If you want me to come and speak virtually or in person, if I can, at your book club. I'm happy to do that. I love talking at book clubs. I love talking at women's groups. I love paying it forward and sharing anything I can to help others. I mean, I, I spoke at, um, a recent conference for people who had been sexually abused as children. Like, there's nothing off limits for me. That's part of my story, and I have no— nothing left to hide. Secrets kept me sick. I will talk about divorce, alcoholism, sexual assault, sexual abuse, becoming your best version, self-care, whatever it is you need. I, I'm on a mission to help other people to the, to the extent I can. I'm happy to help.

Well, you're doing amazing work, and I love where you're at today. I love your story, and you obviously did a lot right. Look at this awesome, successful son.

Oh, he is something. I'm telling you, if you listen to his TikTok or Instagram, you will laugh. He is funny.

He makes me laugh. I didn't put two and two together, but I have seen him many times on TikTok and he makes me laugh.

Yes, for sure. And what I like to say, and I have said to my ex-husband and his family, He got his drama from his mama.

Well, you did a lot right, and you're doing a lot right, and I can't thank you enough for all of your time today.

Thank you so much.

This is Rebecca Green, and I want to remind everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving. Thank you for tuning in to the Whiny Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.

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