Episode 327: Celebrating My Husband

Hello everyone, happy Winey Plousa Wednesday! Whoop! Noni, it's Winey Plousa Wednesday! Have some wine and join us on Winey Plousa Wednesday with the Green family! We've got love, laughs, and all the light, so tune in every Wednesday night! Thanks, Mae! Thanks for doing that for us! Thank you!

Hello.

There he is.

There I am.

The person we're celebrating.

It's your show.

What do you mean?

We're always celebrating Winey Booza. It's celebrating you.

Celebrating you today.

Oh, well.

Can you keep your head where the ring light is? Right here. There you go. Perfect.

Okay, I'll try not to move.

Where is everybody? What is everybody up to? Is everybody crashing and going to sleep? Has everybody— been hibernating. It is supposed to be spring and it is snowing in Western New York. How is the weather by you? We don't really have spring. It's a facade.

You, you, we have some of it. We have when it stops snowing and it's wet and muddy, and then we have summer.

But, ooh, yes, the weather is not making me happy, but there are two events in March that warm my heart even though it's freezing. First comes Ella.

Yep. I will put my head back. Don't worry.

Then comes Seth. Happy birthdays. So we did Ella's birthday. Now we move to yours on Saturday.

It is going to be my birthday.

Who else could I write about besides you?

Anybody else on the planet.

It's a special week.

Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

And I'm very excited to get to celebrate you.

Yes, me too.

And did you decide on a dessert yet?

I did not.

I'm trying to make this man happy, but he has to actually answer questions.

It's very challenging.

I can't get him to answer a question.

Apple pie.

Oh, I literally just thought, there, I'm just gonna make him an apple pie.

It's a crumbly topping.

So you want me to make it?

Oh no, you can buy it. You don't have to make it. Buy it. Make your life easier.

With every what? It's your birthday.

Well, buy it and that'll make my life easier cuz you won't have to bake it, so you'll be less stressed. There, there's a present to me.

Okay. So at least I got one answer out of him. I have a couple more to get, but we will move to the topic. I decided that in order to celebrate Seth, I wanted to write something special for him. Did you like my blog?

It was very sweet.

So you can go read it at whinyplousa.com and we're going to talk about it.

Okay. I'm ready.

And so I wanted to celebrate you. By talking about all of your success, and I wanted to talk to you about why— hey, children! Hey! And I wanted to talk to— I wanted to tell everybody what top 10 qualities about you that I thought made you successful.

I really appreciate that, and I know you love to make lists, so a list about me is awesome. Probably likes to hear more about me than me, but hopefully you can share some of these things in a way that help or inspire others. So it's not just about me, in my opinion.

The goal is not— the goal in writing this stuff is to help and inspire people.

Awesome. If I can be a help or an inspiration, that's awesome.

The goal is not just to talk about you and make you feel good. The goal is to like actually help people.

Good. That is more important to me.

Did you really?

That is usually your goal is to help others. Okay.

So let's talk about the top 10 reasons why I think you're successful.

Okay.

And I want to ask you, and you can always answer at the end, do you think that I did a good job?

Yes.

Did you agree with the block?

Do not dis— yes, I agree that those are 10 of the qualities that have helped make me successful.

Okay. So let's start with number 1.

Okay.

So what I want to disclaimer this as. Some of these qualities drive me crazy.

Thanks, honey.

Now, sometimes, sometimes I respect Seth. I admire Seth. I admire these qualities about Seth. That doesn't mean sometimes they don't drive me crazy. So I have to remind myself that these qualities are amazing and that I need him to be this way because some of these qualities are exactly the opposite of me. And I think that Seth and I are yin and yang.

Yes.

And I think that if opposites attract, then we are a perfect example of that.

We have some very big opposites.

Yes. Don't you think that we are opposites?

In, in a lot of ways, yes. Or I think there are ways they're similar and that could be a whole nother topic.

Okay. So let's talk about how we're similar in another we. Yes. But the first one, you being direct, I don't think we could be more different with that.

Very true.

But you and I have affected each other amazingly with this time.

You have softened me up for sure.

Okay. So Seth is very direct and what that looks like is he is going to want to tell you like it is in a sentence. And he would love if you gave him that back in return. So if you could not go on and on and not elaborate and not try to give him all the details and just try to get to the point, he will then be direct back to you in a communication style that he likes.

Yes, I will be direct even if you're not.

And being—

it doesn't always work and sometimes drives you crazy.

But being direct can drive me crazy, but it is also a top reason why you're successful.

Thank you.

You ask for what you want. You go after what you want. You're not shy. You're not passive. And it's had an amazing influence on me. And I think that in the 20 years that I've known you, I think I have gotten way more direct.

Oh, absolutely.

So I have gotten more direct. My brother used to, what did my brother call it? Feminize or women speak or what? Like my mother and I would drive him crazy because we would be passive in our communication. And he was like, just say it. What are you trying to say? Are you trying to say that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? And it would drive him crazy. So my brother was the first man to show me.

I just started training you early.

That men want you to be direct.

Yep.

And Seth is no stranger to that. And I will start to tell him a story and I'll see his eyes glaze over and he's, what do you want? What's the point?

Can we, can we, or is there a point? I want to ask if there is a, if I'm waiting for a point or if you're just talking for the sake of expressing something.

Yeah. Anyways. So moving on. So Seth is very direct and I think it is a wonderful thing. There are some times that I would like him to elaborate, and I do tell him that. So I, my advice to women is learning from Seth, ask for what you want and ask your husband to elaborate if you want more details.

Yes.

Doesn't mean they'll give it to you, but you can try.

That's a good point.

Okay. I think that you bring humor with you in every facet of your life. And I think that humor is key to getting through some of your days.

Yeah.

And I think that you make your family laugh, you make your clients laugh, you probably make your staff laugh.

I do.

I think that is a wonderful quality and it's one of the first things that I was attracted to. All the time. And I think that it helps in your communication style.

For sure.

Okay. Passion. Seth is a very passionate person. And he's not lukewarm about his jobs, his careers, careers, businesses. How do I even say it?

Businesses.

He is passionate about it. And when he wakes up, he's already, his wheels are already turning. He's working. And I think you absolutely love what you do.

Very much.

And I feel like you bring passion to your marriage. And I feel like you bring passion to parenting.

I am very passionate about you and our children.

Anything to say about your passion? Like you're a passionate person.

So are you. I think compared to you, I'm not as passionate as I think you are way more passionate than I am. Okay.

You're talking about emotions.

Yes.

Okay. I'm sorry.

You are a more emotionally intensely expressive person than I am.

I'm more emotional than you.

Yes.

I'm not more passionate than you.

Okay. I see the difference.

I'm trying to explain the difference.

I got it. I'm labeling it your expression as passion as opposed to— got it. I got it.

Honey, I'm gonna record you sometime without you realizing you're being recorded because you communicate with some passion.

I didn't say I didn't.

And, and I don't think you realize how much passion you communicate with.

I will pay attention to that.

Okay. So therapy for me. Okay. I think—

brought the humor.

I think I get too serious about like even this, and he lightens up the mood. Wherever we go, you lighten up the mood. Like even like we'll get into serious topics with family and you'll crack a joke and I'm laughing. Yes. Yes. Okay. So this is super important. You are a risk taker and I don't know why and I don't know how, but you're not afraid to take a risk. And that is the reason that we are where we are today.

Very true.

So you took a risk and opened a business.

Several.

I'm starting at ground zero.

Okay.

I was pregnant.

I opened two at the same, that was two at the same time.

Okay. So I was pregnant and you opened two businesses? Yes. You started with one. Okay, never mind. Never mind. I'm going to let you talk about your own businesses. So you opened your businesses, you took the risks, you're still taking risks, you don't stop, and you're teaching me that you got to get out of your comfort zone.

For sure.

And I think that people could use some advice around that. Why are you okay taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone?

I am okay taking risk because it's the only way to get anywhere. It's the only way to get anything, right? You have to take a risk if you leave the house and drive down the street. I try and take calculated risks where I, the upside is going to be of greater potential than the downside that I could lose. So I try and mitigate the risk as much as possible, manage it as much as possible, and find situations where, whether it's an investment or a business or an opportunity where the upside is big and the downside is small.

Hmm. Okay. I never thought about it that way.

I, I, I think the safety net, I think the certainty that a lot of America has, like I want the corporate job or whatever, or the guaranteed retirement or whatever, is a bigger risk cuz you're not in control. I'd rather bet on myself.

Interesting. A lot of people don't feel that way.

Okay.

So the, the fascinating study. Going on in my head right now. The psychologist and sociologist inside of me wants to do a study and find out if youngest children are the bigger risk takers.

Interesting. I'm sure there probably is some data on that.

Yes. I'm very fascinated. I think I'm going to do some questioning of people. Number 5, hard work. So Linda commented on my post today. And said that it's not hard work if you're having fun and you're passionate. But I agree with her to a point, but man, do you work hard. And I want to tell you what that looks like.

Okay.

I guess if you're having fun, it doesn't feel like work, but I will tell you that from the moment you get up, you're thinking and you're working and you're at the computer getting stuff done. You go to work early, you work. The entire day. You usually make it home for dinner.

Usually.

And that doesn't mean you're done. You take phone calls anytime, as long as we're not in the middle of something.

Right.

You take phone calls, you're on your computer, you remember things you have to get done, and I think you work really hard.

Yes, it's— I enjoy it, but it doesn't mean it's not a lot, or what other people would call hard work. I'm not out there digging ditches, right? To me, manual labor would be hard work.

So I think that my point is one of the reasons for your success is what you put into it.

For sure. You get out what you put in.

And you expect that of our children.

I do.

And you expect them to work hard and get good grades, and it's not really negotiable.

I expect that of my staff. Same thing.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a very, one of the most important qualities. Thank you. Yes. Okay. So this is really important and people don't necessarily know this, but you should never stop learning and growing. And you show me that. I don't really have a choice. I have to take continuing ed, so I'm always learning and I'm always interviewing experts, so I'm always learning. But you would do it if it wasn't required of you.

It isn't required. Okay. So financial services requires continuing education. Marketing, there's no rules. However, the marketing world changes so constantly. I think you gotta always be learning, but I know people who don't. So I just have always been addicted to learning. I always like learning new things. I always like growing. So for me, it's fun.

And you always have a book in your hand.

Book in my hand, reading a, or watching a course, listening to a course. Yes.

And you read many more self-help books than I do.

Yes. My library is probably 80% business or personal improvement, 20% fiction.

Interesting. I was scolding myself today because I'm on such a fiction roll and I have these self-help books, inspirational books that I wanna read. And I'm like, you'd have to put the fiction down to read the other books too.

So I'm reading both at the same time. Yeah. I'm in the middle of 3 or 4 pers— business books and 1 novel. And I read the novel last before I go to bed. Otherwise I'll read the business book and think too much and not go to sleep. Yeah. And there comes a point when if I read 3 or 4 business books in a row, I'm like, my mind starts craving fiction and I need to read a story or 2, a novel or 2 before I go back to it.

And it's not even just books. Like you taught yourself to play the guitar. You're always practicing the piano, the guitar, learning new Krav Maga moves. Like you're always learning, you're always growing, and it just never stops. And it's part of the reason you keep growing and are successful.

Yeah, absolutely. Tony says you're green, you grow, you're ripe, you rot. The day you give up and stop learning and stop trying to improve, the day you start going backwards.

My brain does not like that expression because every time you say it, I pause to think about how that makes sense. And you've said it to me like 50 times and I still pause and don't understand it. But I guess you did a lousy job explaining it. I don't know. I have—

maybe you have some mental block.

I have an issue with that whole—

I'll find a different way to phrase it.

If you're green, you grow.

When you're ripe, you rot. When the apple's totally ripe, it falls off the tree and dies.

It does not make sense to me. We'll talk about this after. I don't like it. We're gonna find a new expression.

I'll look on, I'll find a new expression.

Listen, Tony Robbins, I need that new expression.

You can tell him tomorrow.

Am I gonna, I'm not gonna actually be able to talk to him, am I? In the chat.

You can talk to him in the chat or on the other private Zoom with 10,000 other people.

We're gonna do a 4-day Tony Robbins training together.

Yes. For my birthday.

Does it go from morning to night? Come on now.

You know how they roll.

Are you gonna stay up until 1:00 AM?

I am.

You are, are you expecting me to stay up till 1 AM?

I am not. I'll tell you what you missed.

Oh my goodness. Amazing. So you're gonna get no sleep.

That's not true. There's 6 or 7 hours in there. Okay.

Number 7. You are one of the best problem solvers I've ever met. Wow. And if you have a problem and you tell Seth your problem, he will tell you how to fix it or help you figure out how to fix it. You, for a small fee, you don't stay stuck. You don't stay stuck. You like to solve problems.

And spending time on the problem doesn't do you very much good after the initial statement. Okay. Some people like to tell the story over and over again. I'm like, do you wanna just solve the damn thing already? We, we could've been done.

I will tell you, he will listen to you, but he will listen to you one time. He doesn't wanna hear—

I hate myself.

No, it— this is okay. This is— This is good. You want to hear the problem once and then you want to actually take action.

Yes.

Number 8, taking action. Seth wants to take action. He doesn't want to perseverate. That's the word he can't stand when people are thinking too much and just want to tell you about it. He wants to actually see what are, okay, let's solve the problem. Let's take action. And I want to give you a perfect example of what just happened to us. And we're on the thruway and an accident is happening next to us. I see the car coming towards me. I'm a deer. I'm like a deer in headlights. I'm frozen. I didn't say a word to Seth. I like braced myself for impact. He was taking action. He saw everything going on. He got us way out of the line of fire. I don't know how you did that. I'm still back there thinking about the whole thing. I was frozen thinking he was already taking action. Thankfully he was the driver.

Lots of car racing video games.

Let's hope that if I was driving, I would've had good reflexes, but I'm glad you were driving.

Me too.

I'm glad that you like to take action. You got us out of the line of fire.

Absolutely.

And that—

our car hit the other car that was coming at us, and I had a millisecond to get enough out of the way to get us from being hit, but not get hit by the guy in the left lane and speed up to get around it and floor it.

Woo! Yeah. So I can freeze. Seth is already taking action. He wants to solve the problem. He wants to move forward. He wants to take action. And I think that goes for your businesses. Problems come up.

Yep.

You have to figure them out and solve them and take some actions. And I think that is what I have learned from you is that I will be on the problem thinking about what's going on. Let's say something's going on with the house.

Yeah.

Something's wrong with the house and I'm thinking about it and you're already taking steps to solve it.

Calling the right person.

Okay. Resilient. You have to have resilience. I think if we can teach our children anything, if we can show our children anything, we got to show them resilience. And you have good employees that, that we treasure.

Yes. Everyone who is with me right now.

You have had not so good employees.

Who are not with us anymore.

You have had good clients.

Yeah.

You have had not so good clients.

Yeah.

And you have had problems.

Yes.

And you keep getting back up and dusting yourself off and learning and growing and trying again. Yeah, absolutely. And you're extremely resilient.

Thanks.

I think you know that.

Yes, it's obvious.

And I think that it is like probably the number one quality to success, wouldn't you think, is that you have to be resilient.

As long as you get up more times than you get knocked down.

And I will say that a lot of very successful people have told me how many times they got knocked down. And what we see is people's success, but we don't see the backstory of all the bumps and turns, twists and turns. And we don't see all of that.

Right. I'll be in my autobiography one day.

So I think that people look at successful people. And think, oh my goodness, they're so lucky. They're so happy.

Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.

But I'm even thinking about a woman who I listen to who has built a business for herself and she's doing very well. And she's like, I want to tell you the nitty gritty of how I got here. And she's like, I will teach all of you how to do this. But she's like, this didn't happen overnight. This was a ton of sweat and tears. Like, you got to get through it. And if you're resilient, you're going to be okay. And if you teach our kids anything, that's what I want you to teach them.

Yeah. It's not failure if you don't quit. It's only failure if you quit.

And I agree with that. And I also think that what you and I have talked about so many times is all the mistakes are amazing gifts because you learn so much from them and it makes you better for your, for everybody that you're involved with.

100%.

Yes. And I love the success and I love building on the success and learning from the success, but I think you go farther when you learn from your mistakes.

I would agree with that.

Okay. Last but not least, I was just teasing you about this before we started. You, people think I'm optimistic. You know that people think that I'm like really optimistic, but what they don't know, right? But they don't know that you are me times 10. Like you're me squared.

Times 10 was more than squared. Squared is only to the second power. So you just shipped me out of 8 powers.

Okay, Mr. Math. So I worry too much. I get nervous about things and you live in more faith. You live in more the glass is half full. And I'll complain about the dishes. And what do you say to me?

Means we fed them a meal. We had food. We had a table.

Or the laundry.

They didn't walk around naked.

And he teases me because I'll be like, oh my God, the meals and the dinners and the— he's like, you just keep feeding them and they just keep growing. But he looks at everything. With roses, like you have rose-colored glasses on. And I, what did I say today? I was trying so hard to remember the reframe that he gave me after work today. And I think it was about talking about grief. That's what it was, because there's some topics that are heavy that have been asked for that they're harder for me. Like you want to talk about marriage and I'll talk to you all day and have a great conversation. You want me to talk about grief? Like, that's challenging for me. So I said to Seth, I get to talk about grief tomorrow. And he's, yeah. And think about all the people you're going to help.

Yes.

It's like just an instant, like you don't even think about it. It just, you just have trained your brain. And that's what I want to tell everybody. Seth has trained his brain. To think the glass is half full, to think optimistic. And if you say something, if you complain to him or you're negative, he's going to come back at you with optimism. And I think that—

I work on that every day.

And I know you do. And I think that we have to, because we're training our brain. Yep. And I think that is a big reason for your success.

I would agree.

And you will even say, like, what's the mess expression?

Make or mess your message.

Yes, but I think that you clean up the messes in an optimistic way.

Okay.

It's very rare that you go to a negative place too long.

Yes. I don't want to, I don't want people to think that it's 100% of the time. I certainly have my negative moments and my worry moments and anxiety moments. It's just a question of. I've tried to now train my brain that, okay, you get 2 minutes, you get 3 minutes to feel this, and then you gotta snap out of it and get going and get to work.

There have been days where you come home and you're like in the best mood cuz you had so much going on that you can't wait to tell me about it and you're so excited and you're so happy. And there's the other side of the coin. Owning businesses is a lot of ups and downs.

Yes.

And you'll come home really stressed out.

It does happen.

Yes. And obviously I don't like that.

No.

But you're learning to ride the waves.

Yes.

And I think that you've come a long way.

100%.

There were a lot more negative days than there are now.

Yes. It keeps getting better. That is the goal.

So those are my top 10 reasons why you're successful. And I want to throw in there. With the hard work, I also want to say discipline because it takes discipline to work as hard as you do.

I agree.

Yes. And to get up and to go to work and to—

Yep. And there's stuff that happens before that. Like I meditate, I go in the cold plunge, all that stuff.

Yes. You've got quite the day.

Yes.

And you're going to go to bed and repeat it tomorrow. No, you're not.

I'm not.

You are not.

I'm gonna take all of the, I'm gonna take children to school. I'm gonna come home. I'm gonna go to improv. I'm gonna come home and we're gonna do Tony Robbins.

Are you working?

I have a 2-hour block that I didn't move that I need to work in the afternoon, but the rest of the time I'm doing Tony.

And what about Friday?

I think Friday's all Tony.

So Tony Robbins, here we come.

Yes. Probably check email a couple times.

Okay, so I want to tell you what Seth says. He's taking a day off. Seth, have you ever actually taken a day off of work where you've done zero work for the day? I don't think so. Zero? Have you ever done that?

Okay, but is getting an idea and writing it down without work? I can't stop that. I wouldn't, I can't, I wouldn't want to. I don't know how to prevent an idea, inspiration from striking.

Okay, so I appreciate your brain. I appreciate that you have these 10 qualities. I appreciate your businesses and you providing us with the life that we have. And I'm excited to celebrate you on Saturday.

It's gonna be fun.

And I'm excited to see what comes with the year ahead.

Amen.

And guess what?

What?

I know who the guest is on Friday.

That's, that's a birthday present right there. Who is the guest, honey?

It's very exciting. It's Marie Diamond.

Oh my God.

She is. A feng shui expert, and she has helped like royalty and stars, and she's helped stars win more Oscars.

Yes, she's like the A-list celebrity feng shui lady.

I mean, I can't believe that I got to talk to her.

That's pretty awesome.

I felt pretty cool talking to her, and it was an amazing interview. You're gonna love it. You're gonna learn from her. I've already changed things in our house.

Yep.

I think one of my favorite things that I learned from her is that our children need to have a success wall in their bedrooms.

In the right corner, in the right section, according to their, whatever.

And she teaches you how to figure that out, how to figure out where to hang.

You should come feng shui my office.

Okay.

Because I got a new file cabinet and I was going to put it where the old one is. And I was like, I wonder if I could move stuff around and make the space cooler. So you're hired. One interview. Now you're doing it.

I already did a lot in our house.

You did. You did. I like the stuff you've done to the house.

I'm still working on our house.

Our house is going to be a work in progress for a while.

Work in progress. I, she inspired a lot. I've done a lot since I've talked to her.

Yes, you have.

And I love the way she talked about all the stuff, like all the funny reasons why people hang on to stuff. And get rid of the stuff. Get rid of the stuff. And you're going to love her.

And make sure you're getting on the newsletter. And if you're not on the newsletter, let us know and we'll get you on the free newsletter list.

And if you're not in the Winey Possum Mom group, come find me on Facebook. It's a fun, supportive, wonderful community that I love, and I would love to have you as a part of it. And is that everything? Everybody, thank you for joining us and have a wonderful week. And please share this with a friend if you think that they would benefit from it, if they own a business, want to start a business, want to be more successful.

It works.

Thank you for inspiring the topic.

You're welcome. Thanks for noticing.

Have a good week.