Episode 333: A Week to Remember

Is it just because I washed my hair?

No, it is not just because you washed your hair, but I do appreciate it when you wash your hair and you got your dress nice and all that good stuff.

I guess I'm dressed nice.

I put on some jewelry and makeup and he's not used to a hoodie.

Seth Green, he doesn't look all professional. He doesn't like when I put on a hoodie and leggings and it's my uniform. It's my mommy uniform.

Oh my God, you could be a classy mommy uniform.

Okay, I'll buy it.

I'll upgrade you.

I'll buy more classy clothes.

Yes.

I had a podcast today.

I like it.

And a meeting today.

It's awesome.

So I dress nicer for podcasts.

Yes. Let's get one every day.

Okay, I'll step it up. I hear you.

I'm not criticizing you. I'm just admiring how the improvement. Right now in your fashion choice.

Oh my gosh.

So welcome to Winey Palooza Wednesday.

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday! It is Wednesday. We took last week off because we were traveling.

Yes.

And I couldn't wait to write about it because I had so much to say. And you liked it. You read it.

Yes. And I experienced the trip with you, which is even better.

Yes. So I like to— so this whole blog journey started because I wanted to document memories and I wanted— as I was writing, I started to realize that it was helping me cope with parenting stresses. Yes, yes, that came out right. And then I started realizing that, um, it was helping other people. Other people were commenting on my blogs. So then it turned into this whole journey of writing about stuff going on with my family, stuff people were requesting me to write about, and it's just kind of like taken off the last 10+ years, and it's been so fun. And this was one of the weeks where I couldn't wait to write. So you can go check it out at winelifelusa.com, and the topic is A Week to Remember, because last week was one of those weeks that I will always remember. So let's talk about it, and let's talk about what I learned, because every time we travel, I learned So many lessons.

Yep. So quality family time.

So I want to start with Toronto because for Ella's birthday— Ella just turned 15 in March— and she said, for my birthday, can you get me concert tickets to the Olivia Rodrigo concert in Toronto? And she knew they would be a lot of money, but she had never been to a concert before and she had been dying to go to a concert.

So, and we didn't win Taylor tickets.

We, we have not— so Taylor Swift is coming to Toronto. She's not coming to Buffalo where we are, so I have not taken the plunge and bought Taylor tickets. I'm not telling you I'm not going to. I won't do it without talking to Seth.

There's a lot of money.

There are a lot of money. So these together were the cost of one Taylor ticket, and the hotel that we stayed at was so much cheaper than it is for the Taylor concert because they're jacking up their prices for the Taylor concert. So my, my advice to us and to you is to buy your kids experiences for their birthday. We spent a fortune on that weekend, but it was so worth it. And we didn't buy— well, we did buy Ella merch, so that kind of is stuff, but versus stuff, like instead of stuff, buy your kids experiences. Take them to a football game, take them to a concert, like do something with them and make memories with them instead of giving them more crap that goes in the house.

Less crap, less clutter.

So we had quality time with Ella. Yes, Seth did not go to the concert, but he was the most fabulous Uber driver, and he drove us to Toronto, and he went out to dinner with us, and he went out to breakfast with us, and he went to the photo op shopping place with us. So it was major Ella quality time, right?

Right.

So one-on-one time with your kids, you Yes, experiences by the experiences. So we come home from Toronto, we unpack and we repack to go to New York City because when I asked my kids what they wanted to do for spring break, now if you ask mom, if you ask me, I'm gonna tell you like let's go to Orlando because it's hot and there's a million things to do there. That's usually what I'll pick.

Yes.

But I wanted to do something different and I wanted them to pick and Max and Ella suggested New York City. Ella just has a fascination and love for New York City. She always has. And Max wanted to go see some schools in New York City. So we let them pick. Are you happy that we let them pick? You're happy with how it all turned out?

It turned out very well.

So Max said, Tuesday I want to go to this school in New York. Friday I want to go to the school in Connecticut. So I figured it all out with Seth, and we figured out, okay, we're going to stay in New York City Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. We're going to drive an hour and a half to Connecticut, and then we decided we didn't want to drive all the way home from Connecticut. Then we stayed in Connecticut and drove home Saturday. So New York City, let's talk about New York City and all the rain. Yes, there was a lot of rain, rain and cold and wind. So So lesson learned, be prepared for rain. I did have umbrellas in the trunk. I did not bring ponchos, but wonderful Seth drove us to New York City, dropped us off at the hotel, and then went to find parking, and I did not text him to bring the umbrellas with him.

I didn't even know the umbrellas were in the trunk, and I gave the car to the valet at the parking garage and came back, walked back to the hotel.

So I had the bright idea to go to the Stardust Diner, which is amazing. If you go to New York City, go. I wanted to wait in line. We waited in line for an hour in the rain. Not my smartest move, but what an amazing dinner. Yes, it was amazing.

Yes, amazing experience.

They sing Broadway songs. The servers sing the entire time, and they're fantastic.

Yes, they're all aiming to go to Broadway.

And I'm glad we waited, but in retrospect, I I should have sent Seth to go find the guy selling umbrellas on the street. Yes, because we were sopping wet.

Yes.

So then the next day it continues to rain and rain and rain. To the rain. And we go to Colombia, and Max loved it. Other than the rain, it was a really good tour. I don't think it was pouring at that point, so our firstborn is the epitome of a firstborn overachiever, wouldn't you say?

I would.

He is obsessed with Ivy League schools. Don't worry, we're making him apply to lots of different schools, but we're letting him see whatever he wants to see. And my friend said to me, I'm only letting my daughter go see schools that she gets into. I don't want to stop—

I'm not going to look until after, right? How do you know where to apply, right?

So she's like, I don't want to set her up for disappointment, and I totally disagree. I understand her thinking process, and maybe that works for them. For me, I want to go check it out and see if we even like the school in the area, right? That's my thought.

You gotta try it on before you buy it.

So as far as Max goes, I'm really walking this fine line as a parent You want your kids to have big dreams. You want them to manifest big things, and you want them to go after their dreams. And I also want to be realistic. So, Max, yes, you have a fantastic resume. Like, your application is going to be fantastic. That does not mean you're going to get in, right? So I'm doing this balancing act of encouraging him and trying to be realistic.

Yes, got to temper expectations.

So I don't know if that's correct, but that's how we're doing. That's how I've determined to be. I don't want to dash his hopes, but I don't want to be like totally unrealistic, right?

So I think it's a good balance.

So I'm balancing. Okay, so finally the next day it's not raining. Finally. And that was so much more fun.

It was much more fun.

We walked like 8 miles.

We walked more than that.

Well, Seth walked more than 8 miles because he did some drop-offs and some pickups. So we walked around, took Ella to NYU, Washington Square Park, Union Square, Pershing Square, lots of squares, Rockefeller Center. I can't spit it out. We walked everywhere. We did not even touch my list. I wanted to do more. I wanted to go— we did get to FAO Schwarz, we didn't get to Dylan's Candy Shop that I really wanted to show them, and we didn't get to the Statue of Liberty, we didn't get to Central Park. Like, I could go back, Seth. There's like a ton of stuff.

There's always more to do.

There's always more to do. So we had a fabulous day, and then I got the pleasure of going to see Chicago with Ella. Nobody else wanted to go. And did you want to go?

Okay, that's not true, but I wasn't going to leave Max and Lily by themselves, and I didn't need to blow the money on a ticket for a show I've already seen just to see with somebody else.

So for me, I love Vanderpump Rules. Do you watch it? And Ariana Maddix was starring in Chicago through April 7th, so I was going to be there April 5th or 4th or whatever night I went. So I wanted to see her before she was done, and it was awesome. I loved it. I'm so glad we went. And I just want to pause and say, moms, it's okay to do something for you, right?

Yeah, for sure.

It doesn't always have to be about the kids and the husband. The husband gave me nothing. Max wanted to go to Columbia. Ella wanted to go to NYU. Ella wanted bagels. Lily wanted pizza. Seth wouldn't give me anything. Claire, I got my kids New York City bagels, and Claire knows how good they are. So they got their bagels, they got their pizza. I kept asking Seth what he wanted to do. He didn't give me anything.

I was good. I've been there many times.

Okay, he was happy. So we head to Connecticut. Connecticut is not so impressive after New York City.

Should have done the opposite order.

I guess we should have gone to Connecticut first. I didn't think of that. You're absolutely right. And then we would have had good weather.

Yes, in New York City.

Darn it, we should have flipped it.

Yeah.

So I did hear that New Haven has amazing pizza. So if you go there and you have the pizza, report back to me because because we didn't get to it. But we did— I did get to my first IKEA. That was pretty cool. IKEA, how do you say it?

IKEA.

And it was, yeah, it was great. We, we had an awesome week and we loved New York City. And I think Max liked Columbia a lot better than Yale, wouldn't you say? Yes. But I think he liked them both.

Yes.

Did it work out tonight, Mark? Thank you so much for saving the day. Yes, it worked out. Mark came into the— so tonight was my last official PTA meeting. I want to tell you all that as president, as president. And Mark comes into the office and he sees me making copies and I'm like, I need you to help me, I need you to tell the night crew to move the tables together for me in the cafeteria. And he's like, um, there's like some community ed thing in there from 6 to 9. And I was like, oh my God. But thank God I was gonna talk to Mark anyway because he knows what's going on. Thank you, Mark. And we figured it out with the principal and we moved the PTA meeting to the library and it was perfect in the library. So thank you for saving the day. I would have been so upset if I showed up and there were people in the cafeteria. So lesson learned. And the other issue is that our fantastic secretary left and she used to do all the building permits. So thank you, Mark. So I was used to her doing all the building permits, and I thought she did them for the whole year, and she didn't. So nobody knew there was a PTA meeting. I mean, the principal did, but like the staff in the building didn't know.

Oh boy.

So it worked out, it worked out. So last official PTA meeting, check it off my list. 3 years middle school president of the PTA. I'm done. I have to do a dinner, I have to do a training, and I'm handing it off. And I told them—

it's on camera, we got you recorded saying that.

Okay, I, I— no, I was totally gonna tell everybody that it was my last official meeting and I'm so excited. But, um, yeah, I'm not gonna leave them high and dry, Seth. Like, I have 2 more years there. I will help them. I will, I will do stuff. I'm not like done with the PTA. I will still help them.

And what lessons did you learn on that trip?

Okay, let's go. He doesn't want to talk about the PTA, but high five to me.

High five to you.

Last official meeting. Mark saved the day. So let's talk about the list of lessons that I learned on our trip. So spend the money, take the trip. Sometimes I feel bad spending the money. Seth can tell me when I need to like tone it down. He's the financial planner in the family. But I say spend the money, and if you don't have a trip planned, go plan one. That's what I say. Okay. And it doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be like, um, the Bahamas.

True.

I mean, I talk about going to the Atlantis in the Bahamas, but it could be Toronto. Toronto was a lot of fun, and you drive there you don't have to fly. Like, drive somewhere and have some fun.

There you go.

Okay, buy experiences for your kids instead of stuff. Predict barriers. Seth came up with this. I said, Seth, what lessons did you learn on our trip? And tell them what you told me.

Uh, we need to be prepared for not just for the weather, but we need to be prepared that there might be stretches without— where we're not eating, and we need to keep Lily fed and hydrated so that she does not get hangry.

Okay, we cannot have stretches of time with no food. My friend commented on my New York City post and she said, you gotta keep Lily fat and she's happy. Like, everybody knows this. Lily needs to be regularly fed and watered, right?

She's a plant.

She's a plant, and we have to make sure that she has food or she doesn't— she is not nice. So make sure Lily gets sleep, food, and water, and be prepared for rain and whatever other weather, you know. I find that I might predict that I'm going to be cold, but I'm hot. Or I might not pack heavy— like, I didn't pack enough, like, heavy things. Emma, I was just talking about you. I said that you commented on my post. I'm talking about my lessons learned on my trip and how you said that if Lily's fed, she's happy. And our lesson is that we have to keep Lily fed.

And should always be snacks in your purse.

I need to be prepared with food and I need to know ahead of time where we're eating our meals. Like, I realize I need to be very planful on what is my breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack plan, especially when we're away.

Yep.

Because at home I eat 5 or 6 times a day regularly and I totally failed that on our trip. Like, I needed to be eating more frequently. So go with the flow of the rain and the wind and whatever else comes your way. And I really think, me personally, I like to ask every family member one thing they want to do on the trip. I don't go over the top and make lists, but I kind of try to make sure that each person gets at least one thing that they want to do. That's always my goal. Yes, you know that. I like to take turns. Lily did not want to go see colleges, but she was a good sport. Yes, she got to go to the biggest Sephora in New York City with Seth.

Well, it's the biggest Sephora in America that happens to be in New York City. Yes, I got a daddy-daughter date.

Yes, so that was all about Lily. So get places early and give yourself time to find things. I do so much better if I'm super early and can figure out what— where we're going and what we need to do. I mean, especially at these colleges, you know, I learned a lesson at Columbia because I was following Max. Now, Max, I will tell you, he's 17 years old, and I haven't consciously said this to Seth, but what I'm doing as his mother, as the mother of a 17-year-old, is I'm trying to step back more and let him take the reins because he's gonna have to take the reins when he's like away at school.

Yes.

So I'm trying not to parent him as much and I'm trying to let him guide himself and guide us. So I kind of just let him take the lead, which wasn't the smartest move because I was basically just following him. I didn't ask him what building he was looking for. I wasn't helping him. That was kind of annoying.

There have been other times that He found exactly where we were supposed to go and navigated all around wherever we were going. It was just this time that it, it was a little tricky finding that building.

And, and Seth asked a random person walking around who looked to me like a professor.

Yeah, that was my guess. He looked like he was— probably worked there and knew where it was.

Yes. So that was— so ask for directions, get places early, have hotels that are close to things. Because it was wonderful to not drive in Toronto or New York City. We walked like everywhere and didn't have to deal with the traffic.

Yes, we took an Uber in New York once or twice when I got tired of walking 20 miles, and we took an Uber I think once in Toronto.

Did— yeah, to go have breakfast.

Oh yes, yes, we took Ubers in Toronto to get to breakfast and then to go to the next thing. Yes.

So we did, we did a lot of walking though.

Yes.

Yes. Which leads me to your fashion advice. Yes, it was my fashion advice. So before we went to Toronto, Seth was like, wear sneakers. Like, he knows me so well that he knows I want to wear the cute shoes and he knows I'm going to be standing and walking for hours. So I say put your fashion sense aside and just wear the sneakers.

Who was gonna hear about it when your foot hurt from the cute shoes?

You were, you were gonna hear about it.

Who was gonna need to rub your feet when your feet hurt?

That would be you.

Right, so help your husband out, wear some sneakers and some comfortable walking shoes.

I wore sneakers.

You did great, I'm very proud of you.

The entire week I wore sneakers.

I'm very proud of you. And I know what a sacrifice that is.

And I was so self-conscious going to see Chicago in sneakers.

And no one kicked you out.

Yeah, but I didn't like wearing sneakers to Chicago. I needed to pack heels to take the sneakers off, hand them to Seth.

There you go, at the door. You could have worn them. Go inside in heels. Oh my God. Okay, anyways, it's a little ridiculous.

Okay, if you aren't good at something, practice. Because I used to tell this story that I was terrible at travel. Like, I would tell myself this story, you're a terrible travel agent, you're not a good traveler. Like, I had this horrible story that I was telling myself, and I have changed my tune I think this was the week that really taught me that I love to travel. Yeah, I think I really fell in love with traveling this week and got better at it. I realized that I'm better at it than I think I am. I can find hotels, I can find places, I can find things to do. I like to research places and figure out what's fun to do. And I'm the— what is activity coordinator?

Yes.

And I like to explore new cities, so I'm excited because Max has a few colleges he wants to see in Pittsburgh, and I've never been to Pittsburgh. Have you ever been to Pittsburgh?

I don't remember.

Well, I'm excited because I'm loving exploring new cities.

Yay!

So, so I also want to emphasize again to remember yourself because We do a lot of asking our children what they want to do, and we don't always ask ourselves what we want to do. So I don't feel bad if I want to go in a store and they don't. In fact, when we went in the Disney store, Max was making fun of me and he was like, you find Disney everywhere we go.

Yeah.

So I did not feel bad for dragging them into Disney at all. Um, talk to your kids about whatever subject they want to talk about. Max wants to talk about college nonstop, and I'm here for it. I'll talk to him about college every day. Ella wanted to talk to me about Olivia Rodrigo. Let's talk about it. Be where your kids are at. Embrace the conversation. Enjoy it. Talk to them about the video game. Like, I love that your dad asks them questions about stuff that they're doing and tries to like learn about them. Be where they're at.

Amen.

Last but not least, make sure to build in some downtime. And that's not for me, that is not for me. So we did the whole Columbia tour, got the New York City pizza, they were done. Like, it was rainy and windy and they were toast. I would have probably shopped in the rain, I would have probably done more stuff. They were done. So we took them to the hotel, let them rest, and and I dealt with the fact that they needed some downtime. So I can only push so much. I need to let them rest.

Appreciate that.

And you too, you were done.

If you had made me, I would have kept shopping.

So what was your biggest lesson from all of that?

Uh, be flexible.

Be flexible.

I was annoyed when you wanted to wait in line and the cold rain for the Stardust for an hour, and the whole time I'm like, this freaking sucks. And then we got in and saw the show and I was like, all right, that was That was worth it. That was worth it. And then every other time we walked by there, there was another line around the block. And I was like, okay, there wasn't a better time. It just sucked that we did it in the cold, rainy, windy weather, but it was worth it.

Well, and I think that what I forgot to say is to be a good example, because if you're standing there in the rain and you're complaining about how terrible the rain is, then your kids' behavior is going to be worse. If you act like it's no big deal, then they will follow. They will follow your lead. So I was trying to be a good example the entire time. I don't know that I did all the time, but I, but I tried pretty good. I complained about the wind because the rain was an issue, but then when the wind was taking the umbrella with it, I was like, our umbrellas were inside out.

Two of them got broken so bad, you know, that we ended up tossing out.

I was like, I can deal with the rain, but then you're throw wind in. I was like, come on, let's have some good weather. So when I looked at the 10-day New York City forecast, I was like, you know what, you could have scheduled spring break a week ahead of time and we would have had good weather the entire week this week. So this— the timing of spring break did not work for me. There was a lot of rain.

Well, we'll have to talk to someone about the weather.

I certainly have no control over the weather, but I have control over my trip. Yes, we planned an excellent trip. We did awesome coordinating. Max did apologize to me and he said, I'm so sorry that our trips have been revolving around my college tours. And I was like, are you kidding me? You took me to Boston, Ithaca, New York City, and Connecticut. I'm having a ball. Let's go to Pittsburgh. When are we going to Pittsburgh? I will tell you that our neighbor said that we should go to Pittsburgh when it's in session because I was going to go in the summer and Max was like, I don't care if it's in session, right?

If you're just walking around the campus, you don't need there to be students there. That's— I mean, if you want to go see a class or something, that'd be different.

Well, that's what she said. She said go sit in the class, which we haven't done at all.

We have not. So, well, he might be interested in that. You're not going to get Lily to sit through a 45-minute data science lecture.

I will tell you that when we are done with all of these college tours, I'm gonna write a blog about college tours and all of the advice I have gotten. Because when your friends go first and they have older kids, ask them questions. Because I stopped my neighbor— was that yesterday?

Yes.

And talked to her for a long time about college. Her daughters are both in college, and I learned so much. So ask people with older kids questions on whatever the subject is, because man, do I learn a lot from other mothers.

Yep.

So Friday, who's on the podcast? Adrian texted me and said that Regina Lark is on the podcast. So thank you, Adrian. I put an alert on my phone for 8:00 every Wednesday to go look at who's on the podcast on Friday.

Awesome.

So it is Navigate Household Harmony with Teamwork and Compromise. How awesome does that sound?

Sounds pretty awesome.

You're gonna love Regina. Joanne won the Winey Pluza April Challenge. Joanne, if you watch this, I ordered your prize. It's coming to your house. It's on its way. And you want to tell them about the newsletter?

Sign up for the newsletter. It's free. It's 3 times a week and it has awesome marriage parenting tips. Tips and strategies.

Is that everything?

Yes.

News— oh, the group! Come find the Winey Clues and Mom group. It's in Facebook. It's free. It's supportive. It's wonderful. Come find us. And, um, thank you for watching this and joining us. And share it with a friend who likes to travel, or another mom, or another mom, or mom who likes to travel. And feel free to give me your topic requests because you give me awesome topic requests. I'm a social worker, that's why I cover this stuff, if you do not know that. So thank you so much for joining us and have a fantastic week.

Thank you for watching Whiny Palooza Wednesday.

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