Episode 355: 8 lessons as I turn 48 years old

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday!

Happy Winey Palooza! Yes, we know that's backwards and we will fix the setting for next week if we can figure it out. We'll figure out how to make the reverse setting so that you can read the fabulous Winey Palooza pink neon sign.

So I think the universe wants me to learn flexibility is what I just decided in this moment.

Patience.

Flexibility.

Patience.

Flexibility.

You're not being flexible right now when I'm telling you patience.

Ah, so we just went to go— so I am Rebecca Green. I am Seth Green's wife.

You mean I'm Rebecca's husband? Let's be honest here.

I'm so confused. Okay, so, um, my, my Facebook page was hacked and disabled. However, I'm going to tell you a couple things about that. Number one, Facebook is working on it. I have a feeling it's coming back soon. That's number one.

We have made progress.

They sent us a link to log in to the account and fix it, and the link didn't work.

So at least the link was through a different account, so you couldn't do it. It was through—

okay, the point is we know they're working on it.

Yes, and we got refunded the money that the person who hacked her account spent.

Yes, so the hacker spent our money. Seth got the money back today.

Today.

So we know that progress is being made. I did make a new Facebook page. If you've got a request from me, it's legit. However, I have a new personal Facebook page.

No, you don't. It's a profile.

Oh my God, he's so word happy.

Okay, you're gonna mess up if you tell them the wrong thing.

I have a Rebecca Green Personal page.

Profile. Oh my God, woman, it's a profile. There is no personal page. It's a personal profile. They're gonna go look for your page and go, why isn't it there?

Okay, Rebecca Green personal profile.

There you go, you did it.

And I am not allowed— we went to just go live on my new personal profile.

Yes.

And hi, Corey, I'm kind of— Facebook has me all jazzed up, as you can see. So I'm not allowed to go live on my new personal profile for 60 days. So it has not been 60 days yet. By the time it's been 60 days, the old account will be back.

Yes.

And I won't even need it. Yes. But I have to go live on Seth's page until the old account comes back or it's been 60 days.

Stay tuned to find out whichever is longer.

Just find us. Just find us.

Yeah, we'll be somewhere.

Wherever we go live, it's probably gonna be here. That's where we go live. We're gonna talk about a topic every week. Here we are.

Oh my God. Happy belated, happy birthday. Well, that's what we're talking about.

Before we talk about my birthday.

Yes.

I want you to know that, uh, Facebook just yelled at me and said that I'm like restricted for 24 hours. So I think it's because I just connected my personal profile to my Winey Palooza business page.

To your old Winey Palooza business page that was attached to the account that got disabled.

I think Facebook is just, messing with me at this point.

It's a conspiracy.

Okay, so Facebook people, Becca Green out of everybody, let's just, let's just talk about the top.

Let's— I've been trying, woman.

I'm just a little disheveled. It's just not— I was in a routine. I think that, you know, I just gotta like go with the flow, and I have some days where it's easier than other days. Today I was pissed. Yes, today I was in a pissy mood.

I know, based on the number of text messages I got.

I was like, who the hell is an admin on the damn page?

The old page.

Okay, so moving right along, moving to the topic. I do get pissed off, people. I am not roses and sunshine every moment of the day. I am a human being.

Yes, right, you are.

So yesterday I turned 48 years old.

Happy birthday!

And I am honored to have the ability to turn 48 years old and to have had another year of, I think, growing wiser.

Don't you think you grow wiser every year?

I think every year we learn a lot and we grow a lot. And I think that for me personally, when my birthday rolls around, I get all introspective.

Yeah, it's just—

I just, I like to think about the past year. I like to think about what was involved in the past year. What did I learn? How did I grow? And I would love to hear if anything resonates with you, and I would love to hear what you learned this year. So share with us. I love hearing from people.

Yes.

And, you know, I decided that when I knew 48 was coming—

it was a surprise?

No, when I, when I knew that it was coming, it was, it was—

doesn't it occur on the same day every year?

Well, June comes faster some years than versus other years. This year it was much faster.

Okay.

I think that this was a really fast year personally, and I decided— I thought about what gift do I want to give to myself this year.

Happy birthday!

And I wanted to give myself an ice maker. I did buy myself a Nugget ice maker that is amazing. I bought myself a few presents, and we're going to talk about that as I go through my lessons. But I did buy myself a Nugget ice maker. I love ice. Don't ask. So I wanted to give myself a gift this year for my birthday, and I wanted to go into '48 healthier than I went into '47. And I'm gonna tell you, we need to monitor our weight. I'm just gonna throw that out there. We can't never get on the scale. We can't have no idea what we weigh. For me personally, that doesn't work for me. Because when I did finally get on the scale, I was like, oh, it's worse than what I thought it was. Now, I had a big number in my head.

You were trying to set yourself up, and then it was even worse.

I, I had a big number. I was like, you know, it's gonna be this. And guess what? It was a little bit worse. It was just a little bit. Thank God it was just a little bit. It was just a little bit worse than I even thought that it was. So I was like, okay, woman, We're not gonna cry. We're not gonna wallow. We're not gonna waste any more freaking time. We are going to nip this in the bud. We are going to create lifelong healthy habits. We are not gonna diet. We are not gonna say that this is temporary. We are not gonna do this for 6 months. We are not gonna do this for a year. You are going to change today, and you are gonna change for the rest of your life so that you can live a long, healthy life.

I love it. Change happens in a moment of decision.

It was just a decision. It was literally, uh, this is not working for me. My clothes are tight. I don't like how I look. I, I didn't— I don't think I like felt bad. I really don't think I felt bad, but like people would take pictures of me and I was like, that's me, that is not good.

So, hi Linda.

Hi Linda. We decided— I decided to give myself the gift of health, and it has been a wonderful— not even 5 months yet, right?

You're doing awesome.

And, um, yeah, I'm creating lifelong habits, and I think that there's differences for me this time. The differences are it's not temporary. I think in the past it's felt like, okay, I'm gonna do this until I reach my goal, whereas this time it's like you're gonna do this forever. This isn't like a temporary thing. And I also am looking at it like a challenge somehow.

That's awesome.

I don't really know what happened. I don't really— we've talked about this. When I explain, you're gonna say, yes, you did tell me this.

Yes, you did tell me.

I don't really know what— oh, Cory, that's awesome. Cory, that is awesome. I— Corey knows. Corey has known me almost my whole life, and he has known that I have gone up and down and up and down and skinny and not skinny. I would like to stay skinny this time, and I think that the difference is my brain chemistry. Like, I am not like, oh my God, I can't have the donut.

I'm like, I don't really want the donut, which is a huge shift for you, and I'm very proud of you.

I did have some cake yesterday.

It was your birthday.

And the other thing I wanted to say is I wake up and I have these thoughts like, how healthy can I eat today?

That's an awesome empowering question to ask yourself. Right?

Like, the challenge of doing better every day and I'm just challenging myself. And I think that that's new. It was like really sad and restrictive in the past. I would be like crying to Seth. And be like, but I miss my French fries and I miss donuts. And yeah, and I don't think you've experienced that. Maybe one day, maybe one day in 5 months where I was, I was having a day where I wanted to eat junk, which is okay. I'm not going to tell you I don't eat any junk, right?

Right. But you're not— you're cheating, for lack of a better word, on the junk is You are— you seem way less tempted than you were before. The last time you did this, it was resistance all the way. You weren't happy that you were doing it.

No, I was angry.

Right, which is not sustainable long-term.

And this time I'm—

Excited.

Yeah, it's—

Hopeful, optimistic.

Anyways, the whole point is my lesson is it's a lifelong thing and it's not a temporary thing, and I'm excited and I'm gonna get where I'm supposed to be, which I'm not sure yet, so I'll let you know. Keep watching. I'm not sure where I want to be, but I'm headed in the fabulous right direction.

You're doing great.

Okay. I have a very different view of mistakes. I don't know about you, but I used to think mistakes were a bad thing. So do you think mistakes are a bad thing, or do you think mistakes are a good thing?

How else are you going to learn?

I guess I didn't see it that way. And if you reflect on your life, I mean, I've had 48 years to reflect The mistakes are the things that I learn the most from, and if I teach that to my kids, that's a wonderful lesson for them. And if they see me believing that and living that, then I'm showing them that. I don't want them to think that I expect myself to be perfect, and I don't want them to think that I expect them to be perfect. And I have a very vivid memory of putting Ella to bed one night and being upset about something, and she looked at me and she was like, "Mom, you're human. Humans make mistakes." And I was like, "Well, number one, she's listening." Yes. And number two, I love when they give me my advice back to me.

How about you get pissed when I do it? How does that work out?

It's the tone. I'm gonna give you a little advice.

Alright.

If you use a wise guy tone, I'm gonna be pissed. If you use a sweet guy tone, I'm gonna be empowered.

Alright, I will try and work on that.

Right? Do I like a wise guy? Do I like sarcasm? Do I like any of that stuff? Hey, you picked me.

I am— well, I'm appreciating that choice every day.

Oh my gosh. So one of the biggest changes for me this year, and I think this is a wonderful thing, is you've seen me totally fall in love with reading. Yes, like in a different way.

You've definitely stepped up your reading game.

I read faster, I read more. You want me to turn the light off and I'm reading.

Yes.

I think that setting a goal for myself was part of it. Like, I wanted to read—

I didn't know you had a goal.

I wanted to read 4 books a month minimum. Okay, um, that's awesome. More a week. Which, which answer, Cory? Which answer? What answer did you give that he liked?

I prob— yesteryear. I don't remember.

Yesteryear tends to be the right answer.

Yeah, so I'll work on that, honey.

I think that I have friends who love to read. Um, BookTok has helped on TikTok.

Oh, I don't know what that is.

It's— there's lots of book recommendations on TikTok.

Okay.

TikTok has learned that I love books, I love nails, I love protein recipes, I love Bridgerton.

The smartest algorithm on the—

I am really impressed with TikTok, but I love to read. So if you love to read, he appreciates his choice to be married to you every day. I hope he picks that every day. Yes, right?

That is what I will do.

So it is part of my nightly routine. I can't go to bed without reading. And yeah, I want to read a minimum of 4 books a month. That's a minimum. People are reading 4 books a week. I don't have time for that.

Yes, I gotta go to work.

Oh, well, they're making money off of it because they're reviewing books.

Right, I'm not a professional book reviewer.

But you read— how many books do you think you read a month?

Um, I probably read 2 a week, not 4, but probably 2.

And how many of those are business and how many of those are fun?

80% business, 20% fun.

I definitely have it flipped.

You think it's 80% fun?

No, for me.

Oh, for you, yes. I was like, pay attention to my bookshelf.

I'm not reading a lot of inspirational stuff right now. I'm reading like—

going through every Colleen Hoover novel.

I did that already.

You did that. Whoever the next lady is.

I did. I did like Abby Jimenez books anyways.

Yes.

Okay, so reading, love to read. New lesson for me. It's been new this year. I've always loved to read, but I've stepped up my game. Okay, buying myself stuff. I'm not gonna go crazy, don't worry.

That's good.

I see the look on your face. Is that a "I have to sneeze" or is that a "don't"?

Yeah, it wasn't about you.

Okay.

I'll try not to sneeze.

You can sneeze, just not all over me.

I was gonna go that way, huh?

So, I used to only buy stuff for the kids. If you know me, you know that I love to buy stuff for my kids. So, presents for my kids, clothes for my kids, it was all for my kids. And I would, I think I would feel guilty buying myself stuff.

You did previously? How would— how did you shift?

Um, a new, a new respect for myself.

I wonder if that ties into your moving very positively towards your, your health journey.

I mean, I'm not buying myself clothes. Well, so that's not on the way. Um, interesting. Does it have to do— does it have to do with that? I think that I have learned to value and respect myself more. How did that happen? Maybe it's tied. I don't know if it's tied. Maybe I respect myself more because of my better control over myself. I don't know.

Part of it, I think the kids also sometimes need their— it's not like when they were little and they wanted every toy anymore, right?

Well, and I think that I've learned that respecting myself Like, I want to respect you.

You do. I appreciate that.

But I, I think respecting myself helps me respect you. Does that make sense?

Well, you can't give what you don't have.

So more respect for myself means that it's okay to sometimes buy myself stuff that I used to feel bad about?

Yes. No feeling bad. I used to tell you, would you please go buy yourself something? Right, but you want me to buy cash and go, don't, you're not allowed to spend this on the kids.

You did used to do that, and I think that I still have to work on the clothes piece of it. Right, right. But, you know, I did buy myself a few things. I'm not upset about that.

Why you shouldn't be.

So that's new. So buy yourself presents. And I love that my friend is like, oh, you know, like, I love surprises, don't get me wrong. Like, I totally want to see what Seth bought me. Something is coming in the mail.

Yes, your belated birthday present. Amazon delayed. Yes.

Amazon has not been very good at getting stuff on time. My father's original prediction, my father's Father's Day presents that were supposed to be here before Father's Day were also delayed. So you're not alone.

Ah, thanks.

I appreciate that.

I thought it was a conspiracy again.

No, and I love surprises, but I love that my friend is like, oh, I just tell my husband like, this is what I bought myself for my birthday. Like, I'm not upset about that. I think we know.

And you did buy yourself some things that you—

well, Seth was like, well, I thought that that was your present. And I was like, yeah, but I want some sort of surprise.

Yes, and it will be here soon.

Someday, someday, someday it'll show up. So I've— I think I've become more assertive this year, and, and I want your opinion. I want to see if you agree with me, but I find that that's one of the things that I work on most with women in general, is that I want them to speak up for themselves, and I want them to speak up for their children. So I think that, you know, when I was working all day as a therapist, I was helping moms find their voice with schools and probation officers and their ex-husbands and whatever we would be working on. And I still see the same stuff happening with the women that I talk to, is, you know, they'll be frustrated with something at school, and I was like, well, ask for a school meeting. Or, you know, I'm trying to think of a recent example. I was upset with something at school, so I talked to the teacher. Like, I don't want school to be the only example. Do you have another example? Like, you—

I don't think you ever weren't a fierce advocate for our kids. I think that mama bear part was easy for you to tap into. I've seen the shift where you have started to speak up for yourself more, and not, not just about the kids. So I will give you that.

And maybe that goes hand in hand with valuing myself more.

It seems to all be meshing together, honey.

Um, I just feel like if you're not gonna advocate for yourself, who's going to? And if you're not going to advocate for your kids, who's going to?

Yes, I'm not for myself.

You're, you're, you're your own best advocate. So if you don't speak up for yourself I mean, who's gonna do it? I could— I have a friend who comes to mind who would do it for me.

Oh, I was gonna say, you know, a professional advocate.

I know you would do it.

Yes, I would.

I, I don't really want to ask my husband to speak for me. I've had my friends say, do I need to call this person? You know, back in the day, yes, when I was too passive, she would say, I'm gonna pick up the phone and do it for you if you don't do it. So thank you, friend. I will, I will text you and thank you after this so that you know who you are. But I've learned to value people more, and I've realized that my life, you know, like if we think about what is most important to us, and I've had so many therapists on my podcast to talk to, and they always talk about that if our days align with our values, then we are a happy person. And I told Seth I'm all about connection. I just value people and people over anything else. Like, I would rather— I want to connect with my husband and my kids and my parents and my friends. And I love connecting with the teachers at school. I talk to them all the time only because of my PTA involvement. I'm not calling and complaining about my kids or anything. Just, you know, I— part of what I love about being involved in the PTA is the connections. And I've met so many women and so many teachers and so many administrators, and I love that piece of it. So maybe you understand it a little more now.

I do. When we have had this conversation before, and I do remember it, and that was, I think, within the last month, that was learning for me that PTA met a big need for you for connection, which I did not realize.

Mm-hmm. Well, if somebody is doing something over and over again, they're getting something out of it.

Yes. I just hadn't labeled— I hadn't thought about it, in all honesty. And if I had, I wouldn't have put connection at the top of the list. But knowing you, I should have.

And I'm gonna tell you what I've told them before, live on this, is that when I went to that PTA event and was surrounded by women like me, I knew why I was involved in the PTA. I mean, we're all similar, we all have similar values. Like, it was spelled out for me.

That's awesome.

So I've learned that little things are not little. That's one of my biggest lessons this year. And Seth was like, oh God, what grandiose birthday plan is she gonna have this year? And I was like, you know, I'm not grandiose anymore. I mean, I don't know if you disagree, but I think little things are important. Getting coffee with the girls, going swimming. I mean, I wasn't looking for some big adventure. Adventure.

Well, the weather also did not cooperate.

The weather was actually perfect for my adventure ideas, if I'm honest with you, but you were not up for it. I was not, which is okay.

My fault. And I owe you another birthday.

No, I was not upset. Is that I did not really want to go anywhere except dinner. I did want to go out for dinner and have lobster, which we did. Little things are really the big things, which is the lesson. That is the lesson. The time, the time running errands today with my girls, it's like bonding time. It's— I treasure it in such a different way. I used to think it was a chore. I used to think, I used to think different about the little things that are like making these precious memories for me, and I just value little things more. And I realized, like Linda said, that they're the big things.

Amen.

Yes. Um, so we're going to talk about the next one. I've fallen in love with travel, which is not a good thing for my husband's and my checkbook. So Max is looking at colleges. We're looking at colleges with him, and I had no idea. I didn't really do this as a kid. We went to a few colleges, but not like Seth and I are doing with Max. And we've gone to Boston, we took him to New York City, we went to Ithaca, which isn't too far but was still very cool. And as we have gone to these cities with him, I was like sad to leave Boston. Like there was so much more I wanted to do there. New York City, I didn't do half of what I wanted to do there. And I just love exploring new places. Not that I haven't been to New York City before, but it had been a while. And there's like a huge list that I want to do there. And Boston, we didn't even scratch the surface of Boston.

Right.

And I had never been to Boston. You had.

Yes.

You had. But I had never been and our kids had never been. So I'm having so much fun that I want more. Okay. And so I said to Max, we're going to Pittsburgh next, and he's like, Mom, I'm good. Like, he just wants to apply to all these colleges and he still doesn't understand that he has to go see the schools.

He doesn't under— he gets that you believe that.

I do believe that. Oh my gosh, 100%. He has changed his opinion based on visiting schools.

Oh, I'm not saying he didn't. We're saying that originally was his thought.

Where did we go after Boston?

Yale. Where?

Connecticut. Yes, Connecticut. That's what I'm missing. He was not impressed.

I thought that campus was beautiful.

You did?

Feels like going to Hogwarts.

See, Corey, I agree. Corey says visits make a big difference. So I have not gotten through to my son. I need to remind him of Yale because I don't think he really liked it. And I think that the difference, Seth, is that we went to Boston and then we went to Connecticut. So you've got this bustling place that is just—

we went past the schools in Boston or in a city.

I mean, he just loved it. And then you go to Yale and it just felt I don't know. Yes, not as impressive.

Okay, I'm gonna disagree with that. It's a different environment. So the Boston schools are city urban schools. Yale is more rural/suburban, just like Cornell is rural/suburban. So it's a totally different environment and a different feel. It's not that Yale isn't impressive, it just sounds like he wants to be in a city.

No, no. So we talked, our recent conversation, to keep you up to be.

Oh, okay.

If you don't remember this, I swear you were sitting at the table. He said that he actually liked Cornell's atmosphere the best.

Okay, well, I knew this, but it— okay.

Yeah, that was his favorite time when you were talking about the trip.

Yeah, when we went originally, he wanted— when we were at Boston and Connecticut, he wanted a city at that point in time, but it changes on a daily basis.

Yeah, he changed his mind, but we're not attached to anything because he's changed his mind a few times.

Yes, I'm sure a few more are coming.

We have to see where he gets in.

That's gonna make a difference.

But the point is that I love traveling to new cities, new places. So Ella really wants to go to Taylor Swift, and so Ella and I are gonna look up what is left on the Taylor Swift tour. Now the problem is that Ella's passport has expired, so I don't know how long it takes to get a passport.

Well, we could have started this process months ago when you first expressed an interest.

Okay, so tomorrow, tomorrow. Does anyone know how long it takes to get a passport? Ella, look it up.

She has one, it just has to get renewed.

Okay, we need to renew her passport. So, oh, I remember why we couldn't do this. So what we wanted to do, what I was trying to talk Seth into, was I wanted to go to her London concert. Just wait, we're not gonna do it. Just let me finish.

That's good.

I wanted to go to her London concert in August, and I wanted to make a trip of it because I'm dying to go there. And I was like, and you know, Paris isn't too far, and I'm dying to see the Eiffel Tower, and Lily is dying to see the Eiffel Tower.

Carol says, sounds like my husband and I talking. Thank you, Carol.

So I need to see where is left on the Taylor Swift tour, and I would like Ella and I to go to a cool city and explore a new city and see Taylor Swift.

We shall see what happens.

I will say, keep going up.

You would have been better booking this a couple months ago.

So I want to tell you, when I went to book this a couple months ago, I said yes back then and they were too expensive then. He said just do it, and I'm kicking myself that I had tickets in my cart and I couldn't get myself to pull the trigger. And now we're 2 months later and the prices have gone up. So I don't even know how this is gonna go, but I wonder if people scalp tickets at Taylor.

I wonder if you could literally just go and go outside the stadium and buy tickets cheap. They might be nosebleed seats, but buy tickets for a couple hundred bucks a pop because they're scalping at the last minute. I don't know, does anybody know? Do they— I, I know you can buy scalped Bill seats. Can you buy scalped Taylor tickets? I mean, is that legit? Can you get in?

I will ask my friend Krista because she flew somewhere and got tickets that day in the town. I swear she did.

Well, if you can get them for significantly cheaper than these StubHub prices, we can talk about it.

Anyways, I would like to keep exploring new cities. I would like to keep traveling. I would like to get to Europe. I have a new appreciation for travel this year, and I want to thank my son for that because I had no idea. I had no idea. Okay, when Max is a bazillionaire, he can send me on trips for my presents. That's all I can say. He can pay me back for all the tons of money we've spent on him.

Good luck with that.

I'm totally kidding. You know I'm kidding. And I'm trying to look up who's on the podcast because I did not learn—

air date June 28th. Wouldn't that be Friday?

Oh, thanks, honey.

You're welcome.

Title approved: Revitalize Life with Executive Skills with Jenny Koopchek. That was really good.

Thanks.

You did it right, and I was gonna stumble over that.

I've interviewed lots of people with interesting consonants and vowels in their names.

Okay, so those are my 8 lessons for turning 48, and I had fun thinking about the last year and what I've learned and what I've grown to appreciate. And next year I'll maybe do 9 things for $49.

You're gonna— there you go.

You think I'm silly, I can tell.

I love it.

Okay, so this Friday on the podcast is Jenny Goopchick. Thank you. God, you do it better than I do. And we talked about executive function skills. This is one of the wonderful women that I met at the Beauty Boost event. Oh cool. Yes, and she's wonderful, and I'm supposed to interview her again So I should do that.

You should.

I should. And Seth, tell them all the things that you're better at than I am.

Okay, they're not things I'm better at than you are, but if you folk, wonderful folks, could like, comment, review, rate, share, subscribe, go check out winniepalooza.com, get the Linktree with the links to all of Rebecca's stuff, go sign up for her free 3 times a week email newsletter. Um, it is awesome, and we look forward to seeing you and hearing your feedback on all of the platforms.

Yes, I love hearing from you. And in the Winey Palooza Mom group on Facebook, it's a private group, come and join me. I just did my birthday challenge yesterday, so you can still go throw in your answers and win a prize, win the presents that I bought for my people for my birthday.

So her birthday, you get presents. That's a good deal.

I bought presents for my birthday for other people.

Yeah, that's very nice of you.

Yeah, thank you. So I'm gonna go pick winners. I will give you a couple more days to comment, and I'm glad you found us here. Sorry about the confusion.

Yes, because we thought we were good. We didn't know that you had to have an account for 60 days before you could go live on it, hence the newsletter this morning that said join me on my new page, new profile, which we couldn't do. So we're here now. Stay tuned, she's gonna get her account back, so this will all be a moot point.

Okay, so everybody please send good vibes. Yes, by next week at this time, put it out to the universe, I will be on my old account live to all of you. So let's make it happen.

That'd be awesome.

And thank you for finding us and joining us, and have a wonderful week. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, Leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.

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