Episode 410: My Word of the Year

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Tuesday!

Happy Winey Palooza Tuesday, we're mixing it up!

Oh boy, I got a big yawn coming.

You gotta wake it up.

I'm trying to wake up, I'm trying to wake up. So it is— we are live on a Tuesday night at 9 o'clock because my wonderful husband is busy the rest of the week. So, uh, my busy man and I discussed going live tonight so that I could catch him.

I told her she could go live tomorrow night by herself, but she said she would rather go early and do it with me. So isn't that sweet?

So much more fun with you. I mean, I thought about pulling in Ella or Lily, but I'm sure neither of them wants to. So, um, I don't know. I don't even know where Lily is. Upstairs doing something. So there is no pressure for you or for me, for any of us to come up with a word of the year. We are in 2025. Happy New Year! I took a couple weeks off, um, well-deserved rest. Thank you for understanding. We went to New York City with our family and we had a wonderful time, Um, we— the kids, the kids were off for 2 weeks and I took off with them. I worked a little bit during those 2 weeks and I hope you enjoyed your holidays. I hope you enjoyed your New Year. I hope that you are mindfully thinking about what your plans are for 2025. Do you want to plan a trip? Do you have some goals in mind? Do do you have a word that is inspiring you this year?

What is your word theme of the year?

So I am not pressuring— I'm not there. I'm not pressuring you or me to ever feel like you have to have a word of the year. I want to tell you, there was a year where my word was calm. I was trying to be calmer. There was a year, I believe last year, my year, my word was grace.

Yes.

And I did a really good job last year learning to be kinder And easier on myself.

I want to win the lottery. I don't know that that is a word of the year.

No, it's a goal.

I asked a lot of tickets.

I asked about goals. He's telling you his goals. So that's a real goal. So play, play some tickets if you want to win the lottery, Corey. I will send good vibes. I will send good vibes your way. So anyways, my word last year was grace, and I really learned last year I made a conscious effort to talk kindly to myself, be nicer to myself, stop being such a harsh critic of myself. And I think I made a lot of progress.

I think you did.

So going into this year, I said to myself, what, what is your word of the year? Do you have a word of the year? And the word that kept coming up is consistent. And I want to tell you why. And this word is perfect for me. And Seth is going to tell you his word, and we're going to ask you if you have a word.

Word, word, word.

Please, please join it. Please tell us. Don't wait for us to ask. Please tell us if you have a word or a meaningful goal. We would love to hear from you. I will tell you why the word consistent kept coming up for me. I made— seriously though, I would say my word is health.

Health isn't much better.

Oh, I love that, Corey. Oh, I love that. Tell me what that looks like. I would love to hear what your plan is. Are you eating healthier, moving more? So I really made some— I want to cry. I made some huge changes last year. Like, I'm really, I'm really in a good place, and I'm not to my goal yet. So I would like to get to my goal. So I was like, okay, you are gonna reach your goal this year because you are going to keep— oh, look at this topic, is so emotional for me— you are going to keep being consistent. And if you are consistent and you are persistent and you do this every day of 2025, you are going to reach your goal. Now, oh, thank you for the love. Love back, love back. I I am not expecting myself to be perfect. Oh my God, I do not expect myself to be perfect. I had some— I, I don't, um, eating better, moving more. Good for you, Corey, I'm in it with you, I'm doing it with you. We got donuts for Hanukkah, and what I do, what I am finding is new for me, is that I do have some, but like, if you saw these donuts, Corey, you know Paula's Donuts. It's the size of Seth's head. Okay, Seth is eating the donut that's the size of his head. He started it Sunday night, still working on it. So I did have a little piece of a donut, but I'm not gonna eat the whole freaking donut. So have a little bit, that's part of my change. But I'm going to tell you what I'm going to be consistent with, and, um, we're going to talk about this. So I say diet, but I don't mean diet the way that you're taking it. It's a lifestyle. It's a healthy lifestyle. Like, what am I eating every day? I think that my biggest change is being really conscious, conscious of my protein intake. And like, I'm supposed to eat in grams what I want to weigh, okay? Um, and grams of protein. Yeah, so like I really have to be better at like writing it. I'm not a good writer downer, so I'm going to tell you to write down your goals. I need to start writing down my protein intake every day because like I need to eat a lot of protein. So I did, I did really well today, and I think that eating a ton of protein is really going to help me get my goals. So eating healthy, being mindful of what I'm eating, having my plan for the day of what I'm eating, knowing what healthy options I have, you know, like not getting junk food, those kind of consistent things every day. Awesome, awesome. Okay, moving every day consistently, you know, today I did weights and I walked on the treadmill. Those are two huge things in my life. I'm adding more weight training, I'm adding more walking. I'm finding that my body seems to like walking better than running. I love to run, it really gets out my angst, it gets out my stuff, but my body physically seems to like walking better. And my brother was explaining to me, I was telling him that I seem to lose more weight when I walk versus run, and he said his theory is that my cortisol levels are lower when I'm walking, and I'm spiking my cortisol when I'm running, which is interfering with weight loss. So it's just, it's interesting, and it's interesting to see what works for each person because it's different.

Otherwise there'd only be one exercise program and one diet.

Well, so like you have to play. I'm gonna tell you, like, look at how your body reacts.

Look at how you changed your word choice. You said play, like you have to play around and figure out what works with you. You used to not use the word play. You used to use some very negative words in relation to this, so I am proud of how far you've come. I don't know if you realize that. That's awesome.

So, like, I, well, so like I've done some mental changes.

Yes.

So we'll keep doing that. So like I'll say to Seth, How healthy can I eat today? Like, I challenge myself.

Like, it's a much better— how much—

how many grams of protein can you eat today? How healthy can you eat today? How many minutes are you going to go on the treadmill today? Like, what exercise are you going to do today? And I'm going to be consistent, consistent with movement, consistent with my health. And I'll tell you, the key to success at almost anything is consistency. So I'm moving to my work life, and if I am consistent and I do my podcast regularly and my vlogs regularly and my blogs regularly and my newsletter regularly and my social media every day, if I do everything consistently, that leads to my success.

Absolutely.

You agree?

Efforts compound on themselves.

So you agree with that?

I do, 100%.

Do you feel like you're doing things every single day consistently?

It depends on the topic, but on some of them, yes.

No, I'm talking about work.

Work, yes.

So work is like a consistent—

I am very consistent.

So let's talk about relationships, which is like my favorite. So I'm gonna start with Seth, and I will tell you that when I was thinking about my word— and, and for those of you who maybe didn't catch the beginning, my word of the year is consistent. Intense. My two of my all-time favorite words are love and connection. Like, I just want to connect. That's like my goal in life is to connect with people. And so, you know, I'm gonna start with Seth. And what am I doing every day consistently to make my marriage better? You know, am I— Seth wants words. Am I telling—

that's my love language is words of affirmation, right?

So am I telling him Am I appreciating him and telling him I love him and telling him I appreciate him? Am I going on dates with him? Do we have like regular dates? I'm sorry, but when you have children, you need time without the kids around once in a while. I think that our goal is once a month. Is that correct? Is that your goal? Or is your goal twice? Like, what have you been scheduling?

I would love more.

What has been your goal?

I, I don't know that I had a numerical goal, and that's probably why we haven't achieved it. Um, I thought I did have a date in December. Um, the tricky part is the kids were off a lot in November and December, so we had one, and you want it during the day when they're at school, which obviously is during my work day. So again, I've got to juggle some stuff to make that happen, and I will do better at that.

Well, no, I mean, I'm not saying we can't go out on a Saturday night. I'm just like, my goal— I'll tell you, my goal was to go on one lunch date a month.

Oh, well then we've achieved that.

Like, you don't need to like take a day off of work. I'm talking about like a lunch date.

Okay, there was a time that you did say that you wanted the whole day, so—

Well, you haven't given me that yet. I did ask for one day probably a year ago.

It wasn't a a year ago. It was like 3 months ago.

Okay, so yes, once in a while, yes, it would be nice if the kids went to school and Seth and I just spent the day together. That would be lovely once in a blue moon. But on a regular basis, consistently, once a month, a lunch date is lovely. Okay, I have low— I, I'm, I'm not as high maintenance as you think I am.

I never said you were high maintenance.

I don't think Yeah, okay, so consistently with your spouse to improve your marriage.

Yes.

As far as parenting goes, consistently showing up for them every day. I think that that is always my goal with my kids is that they know that I'm there.

Hi, Brad. Brad says hi.

Brad missed you and all the stuff, so Seth.

I didn't know I was invited to all the stuff.

Um, Brad, there was miscommunication between Seth and I.

Nobody told me I was supposed to— anyway, it was not clear. If I had known you were there, Brad, I would have come.

Seth and I need to work on our communication. Consistently.

We need to communicate consistently.

No, and I, and I said to Seth several times recently all you need to do is communicate. Just tell me. Just—

I wasn't—

communicate.

Right, but this one, this one is less on me.

This one's on me, but I'm saying like today you said something and I was like, do you think that I knew that? Like, can you communicate and tell me that? Communication. Seth is going to consistently communicate with his wife.

Apparently that's what I'm going to work on.

He's going to work on his communication. He's going to spell it out for me so that he doesn't make any assumptions and he doesn't think I know things that I don't know, or, or I might have said something and you are so busy you just didn't remember that I said it. I really, I really try. Here's what I want you to know: I really try to show you how important you are by remembering things that you say. That does not mean that I succeed all the time.

I don't expect you to.

I try to retain it all.

It's a lot.

Okay, so I'm going to be consistent in my parenting. I'm going to show up for my kids every day. I'm going to show them and tell them that I love them. Um, I tend to show my kids how I love them through acts of service.

Yes, that is your love language right now.

But that doesn't mean that's how they want it.

It is not.

So I think I need to have a conversation with each child of what makes you feel loved. I think Ella wants hugs.

Yep, Ella is physical touch.

What did you tell me Lily wants the other day? You said it, you spelled it out the other day.

And see, you didn't remember it.

I think Max likes the acts of service. Honestly, I think that's what he wants. He wants food.

He's a teenage boy. Yes, he wants food. Just feed me, Mama.

Oh my gosh. So Max does not eat at school all day, and so when I leave to go pick up Lily I leave Max lunch. So I make Max lunch at like 3 o'clock and leave it out for him and go get Lily, and he comes home at 3 o'clock and eats his lunch. And he loves when I— there's times where I'm not home and he can figure it out himself, but when I leave food out that is made, he is a happy boy.

Yes.

But I wish I could remember what you told me Lily's love language is. You figured it out the other day. Shoot.

Okay, so what are my choices? Okay, she's not words— words of affirmation. She's not acts of service. Um, words of affirmation, physical touch, stuff, gifts. Um, what's the other one or two? What am I missing?

I don't know.

Okay, we'll come back to that.

We'll come back to this. Ask your kids what makes them feel loved and give them choices. Ask your spouse. Don't assume that, you know, I was getting it wrong. I was doing acts of service for Seth and he wanted words of affirmation. Yeah, so I'm just telling you, a lot easier.

It's a lot less work. All you gotta do is tell me.

Well, you know, it's so funny, all the stuff that I do for you, that's not what you're looking for. Like, you're looking for like, be happy, smile, give me a hug, give me a kiss, be in a good mood. Tell me you love me, tell me you appreciate me, like all the stuff, right?

You used to— you would be— yes, before we got the Secret Decoder Ring out, you were like, but I did the dishes and I drove your kids around, and isn't that enough? And I'd be like, that's table stakes. That isn't what lights me up. You're supposed to do those things.

Hey, now you gotta appreciate those things.

I appreciate your acts of service, but that is not my love language.

Okay, well, so people are just tuning in, so I'm gonna summarize and finish.

Yes.

So my word of the year is consistent. I'm gonna be consistent with my healthy eating and my movement and my work that I have to do consistently every day.

Got to do.

Get— did I say have to?

You did.

Get to.

Get to. You are blessed.

I get to serve my man and be a good wife.

No, I was talking about your audience.

Okay, so I get to be consistent in how I show Seth that I love him every day. I get to be consistent in showing my kids that I, showing up for my kids every day and showing them that I love them. But there's other relationships in my life. And what I said earlier is that connection is so important to me. Something I said was funny. So connection is super important to me and it's not just with Seth and the kids. You know, our parents live here, um, we have friends and extended family members, and how am I being consistent in my relationships? And if we don't put consistent effort into our friendships, etc., then the friendship is not going to grow, it's going to die. So I want to consistently water my relationships. Yes. And, um, You know, as I was writing this, I was thinking about things that I want to be more consistent in. Like, I'm not taking my vitamins every day, and I'm not journaling every day. Like, there's other things that I would just like to step up my consistency. So there is something that I'm very consistent with that I'm pretty proud of myself for, and that is freaking reading every day.

You are very consistent.

I don't— you're saying it like you're not happy about it.

Well, there are times that it does take you away from your jealous husband because you're busy having a relationship with the characters in your books that goes on for hours before bed, maybe. And I'm like, hey, we can go to bed now. Nope, gotta read.

Turn the lights off! He's like, you know, the Kindle is lovely. Because he can turn the light off and go to bed and I can read. But I was just reading today that Seth is going to be so happy that I read this, um, that going to bed early is so good to help you with your goals. Like, if you're trying to reach an ideal weight and lose fat, like, you want to go to bed early. It's so much healthier for you. More sleep.

So sleep will help all of your other goals.

Going to bed late is not a good thing. And I do read every single day, and I definitely think that reading every day has made me better at it. And I think that, you know, I'm reading faster and I'm reading more. And wouldn't you say?

Yes.

So I love to read for fun, and I love to read to de-stress but I also want to make sure to add in like workbooks.

Yes.

So I will do more of that this year.

What time is late? Adrian wants to know.

It's sad. It's sad to go to bed by 10, Adrian. It sounds like after 10 is, is late. Like, my goal is to go to bed between 10 and 11, and I think Seth is ready by 10 to go to bed for sure.

Yes.

You know, like, it's 9th— we're gonna wrap up at 9:30, and I'm gonna go By the time I go get ready for bed and say goodnight to everybody, it's going to be 10 o'clock and I'm going to want to read, right?

And I'll want to read for 10 minutes and go to sleep, and you'll want to read for an hour, hour and a half.

I don't read for an hour. You're exaggerating.

No, that's because you're like, fine, I'll go to bed, because you want the lights off. If I would read as long as you would, then I think it would be a lot longer.

No, I don't think I want to read for an hour. I think you're exaggerating. Okay, I think Seth doesn't like I think Seth doesn't like my reading, uh, increase.

I support your, your, your reading. I love that you're reading. I want— told you on our first date I wanted someone who was into reading. You, you have just become obsessed by some of these stories.

What does obsessed— thank you, Adrian, you are so sweet. Yes, 11 seems late.

Rebecca, you look beautiful. Yes, you do.

Thank you, honey. Um, what did you say before that that I was going to respond to? I'm not obsessed. What does obsessed look like? I'm not obsessed. Okay, I'm trying to finish a series.

See, there you go. I want to finish this and find out what happens and get it done. Okay, you want to check it off your list. Let me finish this series, and then you're gonna move on to another one and go, now I gotta read these 7,000 pages. So what about a book that's like 200 pages?

It's not my fault that this book is so long.

Okay, long-ass series. The next one, you're like, look at this box set, it's 12 books. I'm like, and you're gonna spend 6 months going, I gotta read it, gotta read it, gotta read it.

I do not read in the potty, but that's okay.

Thanks, Adrian, not helpful.

I'm reading Throne of Glass and it's 8 books and I'm on the 8th book and it's 1,000 pages and I just want to be done. I am not obsessed. I am not obsessed.

Okay, you want to finish it and thus, as opposed to, hey, I could read 20 pages today. No, I gotta read another 100 pages and make sure she gets out of the damn box. Okay, right.

I'm not obsessed yet at all. You are right, Adrian. I'm gonna tell you what obsessed looks like. I am a social worker, and I know what obsessed looks like.

Okay, I don't mean clinically obsessed.

I'm going to tell you—

I mean mildly—

can you let me talk?

Sure.

I'm going to tell you my behavior, and then I'm going to tell you what obsessed would look like. So obsessed would be me having to finish the book and reading all day. Do you know what I did today?

I know, but there have been days where you were on other books in the series that you were like in bed and I'd be like, is Bennett— I want to go to bed. Like, nope, I got to stay up and finish this. And you would be up till an hour.

Okay, that's different. If I have like 50 pages left, I want to finish the book.

See, there's rules.

I am not reading all day.

I know you could read all day, but I don't read at bedtime as much. Right? I think you should read more during the day.

Okay, so Seth wants me—

Oh wait, wait, you gotta tell them your whole routine because this is not accurate. You get in bed— first we're down here, right? And she'll be on her phone while she's multitasking watching TV. That does not count as relaxation time. Then we get up and we get in the bed and she's back on her phone on social media. That does not count as relaxation time. And then she's got to put her phone down, and by the time she's done putting her phone down, I'm red, I'm ready for bed, I'm done. And now she starts reading, and then she's like, you already want to go to bed? I haven't even started yet.

Okay, so Seth, I— there's a whole multi-level process. Listen, I just want to read for a few minutes before bed. It's not an hour, it's not even 30 minutes. He's You're exaggerating.

It feels like forever.

Last night it was 10 minutes.

Ow, that was my leg.

Last night it was 10 minutes and he's turning the lights off and he's like, it's time for bed. I'm like, I just read for 10 minutes.

We need to switch sides of the bed so I can turn the light off.

Oh my God. So maybe if I read during the day, we wouldn't have this problem, but I didn't read at all.

Hey, and I love that this is a problem. It's a fabulous problem to have. Oh my God, way better than my wife— having a wife who didn't want to read at all, right?

Okay, so Heidi says that she binge reads, and Adrian says it relaxes me, so that's important. And I need— I do have a book light. You're right, I need to use my book light and turn the light off.

I didn't know you had a book light. It'd be good to use that.

Okay, so, so reading is how I unwind at night. It is my routine. I will not read for an hour. I'm gonna go get ready for bed and I'm gonna read for less than an hour. We'll report back to you next week and I'll start timing it.

I'm sure she's—

he's exaggerating. He just by the time we get in bed, he has read so much by the time we have gotten in bed, and I haven't even started reading. So we have very different—

yes, routines.

So I need to read more downstairs so that by the time—

right, you're sitting watching TV and on your phone, and I'm reading, so I'm almost done reading when we get upstairs to get to bed, and you haven't started yet. Yes, that is definitely true.

Marital stuff.

Stuff. It's great stuff.

Our big problems. So that is my word of the year, consistent. And oh honey, tell them your word of the year.

My word of the year is centered.

Okay, so tell them what that means and looks like.

Um, staying calm, staying focused, staying in the present moment. There were many times in 2024 but I was not happy about the fact that I let something decenter me and remove my calm, peaceful state and suck me into a negativity vortex. So I am going— I am focusing on 2025 on staying centered and present and grounded in my awesome stuff.

Well, I love that. Goal, and you're getting lots and lots of hearts for that. And I want to tell you that you gave me a piece of advice last year in one of our interviews that has stuck with me every day.

Oh wow, what did I say?

You said to be where my feet are.

Yes, which I got from Max's football coach.

So I have felt so much less guilt since you took that burden off of me.

Oh wow, that's awesome.

So if I'm working, I'm working. If I'm with the kids, I'm with the kids. If I'm with you, I'm with you. And I'm really trying to just be where my feet are and not thinking about what the kids are doing when we're on a date. Yeah. Or not thinking about what the—

What's going on in your book when you're doing something else.

What the kids need. Oh my God, he makes me sound so obsessed. I'm not obsessed.

She is not.

I'm really not. He thinks he's funny.

I do.

He is funny.

Thank you.

This is why we do lives with you.

Yeah, why we do live with— oh well, thanks for including me, honey.

Honey, if I did a live tomorrow without you, I would be so freaking boring.

I, I don't think you're boring, but I understand that you might think you're boring. Yes, you would not have anyone to amuse you while you were on air.

Oh my gosh. So Seth's word is centered. My word is consistent. I think it's gonna be a good year.

Yes.

And I hope that you have thought about what you want to achieve. I would love for us all to write things down because I find that it manifests more when you write it down. And I think that reading it over every single day also makes it come to life. So be specific, write it down, share with us. We want to hear what your goals are. We would love to hear. And on Friday is Dr. Abby Maragno. I'm probably saying that wrong. I need to review names before I go live. And it's the Journey Through Shame to Empowerment. So what, what an amazing topic. What an amazing lady. You're gonna love her. I just did the Winey Palooza Mom Group, um, New Year's Challenge. It's a free group on Facebook that you can come join us and get support. And, um, I love the group, so I would love for you to come join us. And what else do you want to say, honey?

Go to winypalooza.com, find the Linktree, check out all Rebecca's amazing free resources, including the newsletter that is free 3 times a week and is closing in on its 10,000th subscriber. Congratulations!

Were you gonna tell me that?

Yes, this is why we're going— I wanted to tell you on our live and watch that reaction. Wow, look at the react! There you go. So that is amazing, honey.

Wow.

And make sure on all of her platforms, like, comment, rate, review, share, and subscribe.

So if you have a friend who you would like to see them have a word of the year, make some goals for the year, share this episode with them. And, um, thank you so much for joining us. Happy New Year, and we will be back next week.

Happy Whiny Palooza Wednesday.

It's Tuesday.

Happy Whiny Palooza Tuesday.

Thank you for tuning in to the Whiny Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.