Episode 411: The Power of 7 Types of Rest

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the Winey Palooza podcast, and I am very excited today because I get to talk to the lovely Dr. Sandra Dalton-Smith. Thank you so much for being here with me today.

Oh, it's my pleasure. Thank you.

And I want to give her an extra shout out because she was very patient with me today with a misunderstanding. So extra shout out to you for being wonderful.

Not a problem at all.

Let me tell you about this fantastic lady. She is a board-certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and award-winning author of Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity. Sounds wonderful to me. With a thriving medical practice near Birmingham, Alabama, she brings a wealth of experience as a clinician, educator, and advocate for holistic health. Dr. Dalton-Smith holds a BS in biochemistry from the University of Georgia and graduated with honors from— oh, I should have asked you how to say this— Meharry Medical College. Is that right? That's correct. Yes. Oh, good guess. As an adjunct faculty member, she has taught courses on health, nutrition, and disease progression at Baker College and Davenport University in Michigan. Her work on the connection between mind, body, and spirit has been featured in Women's Day, Redbook, and First for Women. She is a member of the Christian Medical and Dental Association and has addressed over 16,000 healthcare professionals on the integration of faith and medicine. Dr. Dalton Smith's groundbreaking research identifies 7 types of rest: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, sensory, social, and creative. That are essential to our well-being. And we will talk about all of that. Through her work, she helps people recognize rest as sacred and vital to a balanced, productive life. I don't necessarily think we're all very good at that, so you're gonna help us. So this is good stuff. This is a really important topic. And I really wanna start with what inspired you to focus in on rest? What brought you to that and writing about it?

Well, the simple answer is I burned out. So I was in clinical practice for probably about 5 years before I really started to experience what I now know as burnout. But at the time, just felt like chronic, non-ending fatigue, exhaustion. My— it was around that time my husband and I decided we were ready for children. We were not ready, but we thought we were. And we had 2 sons pretty close to age back to back within about, um, within about 12 months of each other. So it was like back to back to back. Um, and so I had these two toddlers right alongside a full-time job, and parenting itself is a full-time job. And particularly in a career where there are very poor limits between work and home. And so, you know, it was one of those situations that when I got to that place, I had a decision to make. Did I want to leave my profession or, or, you know, cut back in some way, and I didn't. But I also needed to figure out how to be sustainable within a very kind of, uh, pressure-based career and have some time left over for the people and the things that I love. So that's what took me on that journey. It's like, how do I be sustainable in my profession and not leave it?

Well, and I think that a lot of us relate to that. And I, I think almost every mother listening relates to that. So I'm curious, why do you think that we struggle so much with being tired, sleep, fatigue? Why do you think that's such a struggle?

I really believe it boils down to our— most of us do not understand rest and restorative practices. We think of rest as simply cessation. So stopping. So it's like, I'm tired, I just need to either stop doing things or take things off my calendar or quit this job or quit this activity. And we don't realize that really at the very core of rest is the concept of restoration. So it's pouring back in, filling back up the place that's been depleted. And so a part of it is, number one, we haven't identified the place that's depleted. And number two, we, we haven't really made that disconnect that just by stopping doesn't mean I've restored. You know, I use the example sometimes, you know, in the hospital someone comes in bleeding and I tell my nurse to suture them up. I stopped the bleeding, but did I restore them? You know, if they've only bled for like a half a second, then sure, they're good. But if the person's a hemophiliac and, you know, that little cut bled for like extensively before they got in to got sutured up, I stopped the bleeding but I'm sending them out still depleted. So I didn't really get them back to a place of wellness. I just stopped the bleeding. And that's what a lot of us are doing when we rest. We say we're resting and we go on vacation. We stop the bleeding, but we aren't intentional about pouring back into the place of depletion. Or we say we're resting because we're sitting on the sofa watching Netflix for 8 hours on the weekend. But so we stopped the bleeding. We didn't do the work we normally do, but did we actually pour back into the place of deficit? Sitting on the sofa, you know, might help you with physical rest. You know, you're physically not moving, but what if the problem's— what if the problem's emotional rest deficit? Watching hours of Netflix not going to solve that.

That is— so I have never thought about it this way. You're already teaching me a lot. And I know that you say there are 7 types. Can we talk about the 7 types and start to identify— like, I have no idea how to identify what I need.

Yeah, that's, that's really the whole concept of the work that I do. My book Sacred Rest, we kind of go deeper into it, and then we have a free assessment, uh, at restquiz.com to help people actually differentiate that. But the 7 types of rest include physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory, and creative. And so for each of those types of rest, there are signs and symptoms of a rest deficit, as well as things you can do, restorative practices to improve the deficit. And so maybe I'll run through the 7 just with some signs of a deficit.

Yes, if you don't mind, that would be wonderful.

Yeah. So someone with a physical rest deficit, deficit with physical rest, we do have to look at that. It has 2 components. It has an active component, which includes those things that you do that actually improve the circulation and lymphatics. So things like leisure walking or massage therapy or using a foam roller. Then we have PACT, so physical rest, which includes sleeping and napping. Someone with a physical rest deficit may experience their legs are swelling, you know, after sitting at their desk for long periods of time, or they notice they have neck or back pain after doing certain jobs that they do throughout their work, or they may notice notice that they're just tight and tense. And, you know, they hold a lot of stress in their body. And their body stays achy for reasons that physicians or no one can seem to kind of identify. Why is it that they're always kind of achy and just not feeling well? So a physical rest deficit deals with those parts of the physical body that gets out of balance or out of alignment. Mental rest deficits, when someone deals with that, this is the person who, They're exhausted. They lay down to go to sleep at night, but their brain won't shut up. They're thinking all the thoughts. They might even be rehearsing conversations that they had earlier in the day. It's the person who walks in the kitchen and stands there and is like, why am I in here? What did I come in here for? Or they have a hard time recalling information. You know, they have a little checklist, they're going to run in the grocery store, and they can't recall 3 items on their checklist. And it's like, why is my memory so bad? But they're 30, they're 30, you know, highly unlikely they have dementia, but it's as if they have dementia because their clarity, their focus has been altered. It's also the person who has problems with decision fatigue. They— someone asked them, what would you like for dinner? Uh, I don't know. And they truly don't. It's like there's so many options, they can't focus in even to choose one thing. Spiritual rest deficits. This is the person who feels like their life doesn't have meaning or purpose. It's like, I show up every day and I do this job, or I do this work, or I, I care for my family, family, but I don't feel connected to it anymore. I don't feel like it's giving value. I don't feel like it's worth anything. Emotional rest deficit— this is the person who oftentimes feels isolated and alone, like nobody really understands them, like they, like they are, um, they have— it's also the person that has a tendency to do a lot of people pleasing. And so they may be in customer service where they're constantly having to please other people, and even hide parts of their emotions because, you know, someone's being a jerk at your place of business, you can't yell at them. Customer service, you keep a smile on your face. There's that level of inauthenticity, even though it's done for the sake of professionalism, has its own stress attached to it. And so that person can lead to an emotional rest deficit because they get trained in how to block and hide their emotions. Social rest deficits are when we look at people in our lives. Majority of people are pulling from our social energy. We then have to look at how relationships pull or pour into us socially. Are they life-giving? Do, do we have the people and friends in our lives that don't always need things from us? We just enjoy being around. And then the final two, uh, sensory and creative rest deficits. Sensory rest deficits occur based on our sensory environment. So if you work somewhere where Maybe there's a lot of phones ringing in the background. Maybe there's an elevator going off with bells beside your office space. Maybe you work from home and you just hear kids in the background or toys or, you know, whatever it is. Looking at the lights, the sounds, the smells, all the sensory inputs that lead to sensory overwhelm and realizing that most of us, when we become sensory overwhelmed, our response is psychological. We usually will respond with irritation, agitation, rage, or anger.

Yep, yep, irritable. All the noise makes me irritable.

And they were like, why am I so mad? But it's, it's because of the sensory input. And then the last is creative rest deficits. This is the person who just feels like they don't have— they're not inspired, they're not innovative, they have a hard time coming up with creative ideas and thinking outside of the box. And it's also someone who, who may feel like they have a hard time answering questions because really formulating answers and answering questions and problem solving problems is a creative process. And so the person who's struggling with problem solving, maybe they're in management, maybe they're an entrepreneur, and it's like, I can't seem to solve these problems, can be a creative rest deficit.

I mean, that all makes so much sense. You know, I work at home, so I have a lot of peace and quiet to get all of my stuff done, and then my children come home and I'm like, oh my God, sensory overload. So that makes a lot of sense to me. So I don't want you to give away all the secrets from your book because I want everyone to go get your book, but can you step through them and tell us a little hint for each topic? Because those are 7 very different things.

Yes, absolutely. And they are very different, and that's where people get into trouble because they find something that works in one area. And so someone may say, oh, I feel so much I feel so calm after a massage, but a massage is not going to fix your emotional rest deficit. It's only fixing your, you know, it gives you a moment of peace. So you might get some mental rest in that because you maybe can quiet your mind in that moment, but it's not going to give you social or emotional or creative restorative time. So that's the thing. So if we look at physical, particularly as it relates to active physical rest, thinking about just something as simple as the body ergonomics of your workstation. So if you're having neck pain hours after being on your screen or doing whatever work you do on your computer, looking at the height of your monitors, adjusting that can be part of a restorative practice. It's a one-time fix, but it's still part of a restorative practice because you're being mindful of how your body engages with your workstation and making the needed adjustments so that things stay in a well-being state. For mental rest, it could be, it could be something as, as basic as having a notepad or a journal or something at your bedside. So when you're ruminating over that thought or that to-do list, rather than continuation of that mental loop, the rumination, you jot it down. So you break the mental loop and you actually put the thought on something concrete, so your brain has permission to release it. It no longer has the responsibility to hold on to it. Um, for spiritual rest, whether you're someone who believes in faith or not, you know, it really boils down to this sense of belonging and purpose that we all have and need. So if, if you're someone who's of faith, maybe that looks like doing something related to your faith-based practices. If you're someone who doesn't have a faith-based approach to it, it could be involvement in any type of cause that is meaningful to you, where you see that you are kind of giving back to the greater good and you get the restorative processes spiritually of being someone who is kind of giving back into humanity or making the world a better place. For emotional rest, it could be— emotional rest is interesting because, you know, counseling, therapy, all of those things can be a part of emotional rest. But I'll give an example. I— my medical school's in Nashville, um, In Nashville, we have a lot of people singing achy breaky heart kind of songs, you know, my boyfriend left me, my, you know, person cheated on me, all of these kind of things. That in part is a way of getting emotional rest. For some people, art and creative release is how they get emotional rest, because in the writing of the song and the drawing of the picture and the painting of the thing, you allow yourself to express yourself and release those emotions without fear of judgment, because you're not creating the art sometimes for people to enjoy. You're creating it to release what's inside of you. And so that's really what's at the core of emotional rest. Can I release what's inside of me without fear, guilt, or shame because I feel that I'm in a safe place to share a true emotion? For social rest, that could look like something as simple as having one or two people in your life where you just enjoy spending time with them. There's no agenda. It's just we, we can kind of pour into each other and experience the joy of being around life-giving people. And then sensory can be, let's say, if you work in that loud location, uh, at work with the elevators going off, having moments of sensory reprieve. Maybe noise cancellation earphones that you pop on for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening. It's like a hard reset on your senses where you silence everything for a little bit just to let your, your senses wind down. You can still be even working on your computer while you're doing that, because it's not that you have to block out all senses. You don't have to go into a dark room and shut yourself up with the earphones. It's moments of sensory reprieve. And then with creative rest, that one says— is one of my favorites because it's something a lot of people have never thought about. But a lot of people understand that, you know, when I'm at the beach or I'm at the mountains, something about these settings, the beauty of these settings, actually like makes me feel better. And often what they're experiencing is the creative rest of that. It's the awe, the wonder that comes, the unlocking of the creativity inside of us when we see beauty outside of us. And so whether that is— and that's the— there's studies I talk about in the book. I, I follow up everything with a lot of research, but there's study I talk about in my book Sacred Rest where they did imaging studies of the brain after people looked at some of these settings that they said inspired them. And whether they were looking at the actual setting, a picture of the setting, or things that reminded them of the setting, that activity was the same. Which means that if the beach is your place, you can have a picture on your phone or your computer of that setting. You can have a nautical theme in your home. You can just paint the walls blue. And just whatever it is that triggers that, that sense of awe, wonder, and, and inspiration is what we need to restore that creative side of ourselves.

I mean, I had no idea, you know, I thought like a 5-minute timeout would recharge me. I did not know there were 7 types. I did not know all of the categories. And I'm wondering, I know you said there's a quiz, so that's probably the best way. I mean, how do we start to identify where we're depleted?

Yeah. So the quiz is the simplified way. That's Uh, it was the number one question we had people ask. It's like, do I need all 7? It's like, you need all 7, but you're probably already doing some of these. I mean, you wouldn't be functional, you'd already be in full burnout if you weren't restoring in at least some of these. But a lot of us may have one or two places where we either didn't even know it was a thing we needed to restore, or it's just new thought for us. And so getting intentional about those areas. So the quiz is simply at restquiz.com. Uh, it's a true assessment. It takes about 5 to 7 minutes. Don't overthink the questions, just go through and answer them, and you get an email, um, that basically shares with you what your score is in all 7 areas. The area of your greatest deficit, or the highest score of deficit, is the place we tend to recommend people begin pouring back into first. Don't eat the whole elephant, start with one and then start looking at what's a restorative practice, one practice I could begin to do to pour back into that specific bucket. It's just like when someone comes to me as an internist and they're like, my blood pressure is high, give me a pill. Well, there's a bazillion pills out there. I have to— sometimes we have to practice a little bit to see what's the one that's going to work best for you. It's very same with these type of restorative practices. Try one for a week. If you know, if you start feeling better, stick with it. If you're like, not sure if that one really worked for me, choose another one. We, in each type of rest in the book, we give multiple different ways, and really we picked the top 3 ways we find that most people are able to restore. Obviously, you know, there's lots of ways that that can occur, but it's just to get people started on the process.

I mean, this is such an amazing area of research. I mean, it's so needed. I, I talk to women every day and hear all of the things that you're talking about. I mean, I think one of the most common things that I hear is that there's so many people in their lives who drain them, who pull from them, who like leave them exhausted. Can you talk to those women for a minute about how to change the dance that they're having in that area?

Yeah, I think, you know, with social rest, particularly women, there's this— we, we we, we love to pour into our people. So a lot of us are really kind of hot-wired with the nurture button, and we love to pour into our people. But we have to also realize, to be able to pour into them at the highest level of our capacity requires us to not always be pouring from our emptiness. And so when we get to the place where we are pouring only from our emptiness, yes, we might be giving them something, but we're not actually giving them the best version of ourselves. We're not actually giving them, um, what we want them to have. We, you know, we're giving them what's left of us. And so I think it's important to realize that as we pour into some of these different buckets that seem like, you know, sometimes may seem selfish, sometimes may seem like, you know, unimportant, that in the bigger picture, to be more productive in the places that matter, we have to actually continue to pour into the places that no one ever sees. Sometimes no one ever sees you getting a massage. Usually, um, you know, if your physical body stays achy, nobody ever sees you doing the mental work of working with the therapist. Normally no one ever sees you taking time to just stare at, at flowers that's on your desk and contemplate the beauty of what's in front of you. Those are the unseen things that lead to a beautiful life. So I think we have to realize that to have and to experience and to give at the level that we really want to, there's some unthing— unseen goodness to ourselves that has to occur in the process as well.

That's really good advice. I mean, I also think that from everything you've said, one of the other things that I see many women do is, um, that need to perform that you talked about, and it's, you know, it's depleting. So can you talk about how they can adjust that constant performance that they're giving?

Yeah, I, I refer to this often as a professional emotional labor because many times we don't see it as performance. I use myself first as an example just because it's safer that way. Um, so, and this was the area that I was most efficient in. It was actually the area I burned out in and didn't know why I was burned out. Um, I'm an empath, so I feel things deeply. Being an internal medicine physician means that I work oftentimes in life-or-death situations. I'm in the ER, the ICU oftentimes. And so in the small town that I work in, when someone comes into the ICU, this typically isn't a stranger. I can't just detach my emotions and like, oh, it's just a chart and a person. Oftentimes it's someone I know. It's like, wow, I've seen them in my office. I may even know the dog's name or burp the grandbaby. I mean, it's that kind of small town relationship. And so when that person's on the bed and they're in an end-of-life situation, I'm, I'm attached in some way. Everything in me could want to burst out into tears because my friend's dying on the table, but you'd never see a tear leave my eye. You will— it has never happened, and nor will it ever happen.

Wow.

Because in that moment, I have trained myself to detach the emotions to perform the job, because I know the best way for me to love that person and to, and to serve them and the family well is to be the stability in an unstable situation. So I do that for the patient, my nursing staff, everybody who's involved. However, there has to be a time when I deal with me. There has to be a moment where I address the inauthenticity I had to produce to perform in that way. And so we see it in so many other fields— counselors, teachers, um, anybody in customer service deals with the same things, maybe not in the same way Maybe it's not life or death, but they're still having to deal with their inauthenticity and the emotions that they have shut down to perform in a certain way. So they're not trying to be fake or phony. They have learned that professionally, this is a level of emotion, emotional barrier. I have to put a high wall up to perform that job at that level. People who are first responders, police officers, if they told you the things they saw, would break most people's spirit, but they're able to do it every day because they put the high wall of the professionalism in there. But we have to realize that that has to have a place where it can be released. And so whether— and what I find is most people fear releasing it because they fear trauma dumping. They think, oh well, if I go home and I tell— like, for myself, that's what I feared. If I go home and I tell my spouse what happened and I'm painting all the gory details and what the person looked like on the bed and what the vent looked like and what the car look like that hit the person, or whatever it is, and I'm going through all the gory details, that's trauma dumping. There's no emotional rest in that. That's actually me reliving the pain and bringing somebody else into the pain with me.

That's interesting.

That's what we don't want to do, but that's what most of us—

that's what I do.

That's what most of us do because it's easier. It does not require me to deal with my emotions. It allows me to only deal with the event. What true emotional rest does is it bypasses the event and gets to what happened to you during the event. So in my situation, what I had to learn is that there are days I need to go— I need to have a safe place to go and just say, I felt powerless. I remember one of the first times I practiced this with my husband, I came home and I was just— it was horrific, kind of a dead event of a, of a day. At the hospital. And I came home and I said, I felt as small as the smallest ant that's crawling the earth right now. Years of medical training did not prepare me to save that person. There was nothing I could do to make that child smile as they said goodbye to their parent. I felt like I did not matter in that moment. And to be able to say that and just lay my head on his chest and I was so spent there weren't even any tears. I just felt raw. To be able to have that moment, the moment itself was healing because I felt like no matter what's happening, I can, with this person, be as real, raw, and open as I need to be. And they're not going to judge me, they're not going to shame me, they're gonna— they're not gonna try to fix it because you can't fix some things. They're just going to create space for me to be truly authentic. And that's what a lot of us need. And if they— if you don't have that person, because I, I, you know, I do a lot of coaching and counseling with people who are single, and they're like, what if I don't have that person? Then where are you going to release it? Maybe it's an achy breaky heart song. Maybe it's in a painting. Maybe it's in pottery. Maybe it's in journaling. There's lots of ways to release that, but you got to have a place where you feel like the real me has room to show up.

I mean, that is brilliant advice. I'm going to have my husband listen to this. He's going to love you because he literally will say to me, I feel like you're reliving it and that this isn't helpful at all.

That's what most— that's what most of the world does. And I love that, you know, I love that quite a few counselors and therapists have actually started to implement this aspect of my work in, in how they talk to clients. Because, you know, I find that therapy oftentimes tries to purge it up, which sometimes is needed. Sometimes we repress the thought so we can't even remember, especially if it's something that's an old trauma. We can't even remember what we felt because we've repressed the thoughts so much we can't even— we don't even know what we felt. So, so we have to kind of like backtrack to even get back into the moment so we can then deal with the emotional rest of what we were feeling at the time.

I mean, that is so helpful to everyone listening because I think people get stuck in the story and just saying the story over and over instead of actually dealing with the feelings. So that is amazing and helpful. And I'm wondering, so we have all these areas, we have all these 7 areas, and it feels very holistic to me, like the whole self. Can you talk about health benefits or negative health benefits? Negative— what am I looking for? Negative consequences to not addressing these areas.

Yeah, I think we see the negative consequences quite a bit just in how, how many chronic stress-related disorders that there are right now. Everything from, you know, high blood pressure to strokes to heart attacks to depression, anxiety. There's a lot of chronic stress-related disorders that are out there. And yes, I'm, you know, I'm a, I'm a D— an MD rather, in that I believe in medications, I believe in pharmaceuticals, I believe there's a place for all of those things. However, I feel like we have given them more of a preference than some of the natural holistic ways that we can actually address these things and some of the behavioral type things that we can do that address these things. And so I think for, for a lot of us, when we are kind of looking at the medical aspect of this, we have to realize that quite a bit of the health issues that people are facing have to do with stress. And so anything we can do to downgrade stress improves overall health and well-being in our country, in our world. And so that's a part of how rest kind of overlays with just overall health and well-being.

That makes so much sense. And I think that the people who think about rest, I think the automatic thought is to think about sleep.

So they're not the same thing.

So, okay, so the rest is the 7 areas. Can you talk about the difference and the benefit? Like, we also need sleep, correct?

Absolutely, yes. So sleep is the passive form of— sleep primarily is the passive form of physical rest. And we need sleep. But what we find, what I'm finding is most people have difficulty getting high-quality sleep because they don't know how to rest, because their mind is overactive, so then they can't go to sleep, or their senses are too tuned up so they don't know how to go to sleep, or their body's achy and they can't go to sleep, or they're dreaming. In other words, they're doing their creative pro— or emotional processing in the middle of the night in their dreams, which then has them in REM, which makes them feel unrested when they wake up in the morning because they never got into deep sleep. They just had a bunch of REM sleep. So we have to realize that rest is kind of a bridge over into higher quality sleep, the stage 3 and 4 deep levels of sleep where actual restoration at the cellular level even occurs. So I think we need to, yes, get sleep, but it's— this is the reason why I feel like some people can say, I get 5 hours of sleep and I wake up feeling fantastic, and other people say Well, I got 9 hours of sleep and I'm still tired. Well, what was the quality of the sleep that you got? Because higher quality sleep makes you feel more rested. And so many of us now have our, you know, our gadgets, our electronic health devices that tell us how much deep sleep we got. It is that deep sleep that we're needing, that stage 3, stage 4, deeper levels of sleep. Of non-REM sleep, actually the deeper levels that actually help us to feel restored and get to that place of, you know, you wake up in the morning and you're like, I feel pretty good.

That makes so much sense. So we address the 7 areas, we make sure we're rested, and then we sleep better.

Exactly.

So to the, to the people listening who feel very unrested and depleted, can you leave them with a piece of advice of how to move in a better direction today?

Absolutely. I would simply say this: change how you view rest. So when you say, I'm so tired, I'm so tired, is probably the most unhelpful statement anyone can ever say. It would be no different than you walking to my emergency room and saying, hey doc, I hurt. It's like, where would I even know where to begin to assist you? You can't help yourself when you say, I'm so tired. Instead, change the conversation to asking yourself, what kind of tired am I? Because once you identify the place where you feel there's a deficit, then you actually have the power to do something about it and to begin to pour back into that deficit to get it restored.

So helpful. So can you tell everyone where they can find you and where they can find your book?

Yeah, so the book is Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity. It's available in all the forms— audiobook, Kindle, paperback, and hardcover. So you can get that in Amazon or anywhere books are sold.

Um, awesome.

Also, I would recommend, as we mentioned, the rest quiz, restquiz.com. That's probably the, the best starting point for most people, and it's primarily for people to start thinking about how to bring restorative practices not only into their home, but also into the workplace. That's a big part of the work that we currently do at my company, RestoreAssist. It's a workplace wellbeing consulting agency so that we actually bring what— bring this whole concept kind of back into the work culture, because that's something that I think is missing for a lot of us.

I totally agree. And, and I know how precious your time is, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking time to talk to us and share your wonderful expertise.

It's been my pleasure. Thanks so much for having me on.

This is Rebecca Green, and I want to remind everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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