Episode 425: Ella Greene's Sweet 16!

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Greene for the Winey Palooza podcast, and I get to do one of my favorite things today, and I get to interview my fabulous daughter Ella because she is going to turn 16 years old. Hi Ella Bella!

Hi Mom!

Thanks for being willing to do this with me. I brought this up to her today and she said, okay, let's do it.

You're a good sport, Ella.

And I appreciate her, and I appreciate my husband Seth, because Seth is going to interview Ella with me. And hi, honey.

Hi, honey. Thanks for having me again.

And if you look behind Seth, Seth is in our newly painted dining room. Look at how beautiful it looks. For those of you watching the video, because the video is available Most people listen to podcasts, but the video is available on YouTube and Facebook. And this is the first time we've done it in 3 separate rooms. So this is kind of exciting. And I am having a pajama day, if you're noticing, if you're watching, and I'm in pajamas because I am wearing matching pajamas with my friends tonight at a galentine celebration. If our weather cooperates and I get to go.

Good luck with that.

So that is why I'm wearing pajamas. And I have so many questions to ask Ella. We'll see what I get to. I'm not gonna keep her all day, but I am very excited that she's turning 16. I loved being 16. I remember being 16. My family teases me that I'm still 16. Ella, it was one of my favorite years. I'm really excited for you. And I want to know how you feel about turning 16.

I'm scared to drive. That's how I feel about turning 16.

Sorry. You know, it's so fascinating to me because I just was like so excited to learn to drive. I just couldn't wait to learn and get a car and go and be by myself. So it's fascinating to me that you feel so differently than I did.

I mean, it's so nerve-wracking. It's so much pressure.

Ah, and Seth, you said you felt like I did.

Yes, I was not afraid to drive.

Okay, so do you have any advice for our daughter? Because I feel a little blank right now.

I, I think it's the general Ella advice, which is relax, you got this, know that you're awesome, know that you're gonna do great, know that you're gonna be okay, and you're gonna love it.

You might love it. You might love the freedom.

I don't know.

I mean, I remember going to like the store for my first time and being like, I'm by myself.

Yeah, I was so excited. I would, I would be like, Mom, Dad, do you need me to go to Tops and get anything? Do you need me to go anywhere?

I'm really happy that I don't have to deal with rides, like if rehearsal goes overtime or stuff like that.

Yes, that assumes that you have a car to yourself. Right.

So when Max got his— so when Max was in football and he got his license, it was so refreshing because we did get him a car. And like, for those of you who have kids in sports and activities, you know that it doesn't always let out when they say it's going to let out. So we get the phone call that they're out early, or we get the phone call that, sorry, I'm going to be another 30 minutes. And Seth and I just sit in our cars and Yes.

Bring it on.

Right. So are there any major things that you're looking forward to this year?

I'm looking forward to getting closer to starting my club. I think I'm going to get to give our principal the pitch in March. So I'm really excited to keep working towards that.

So tell everyone what you want to start.

So I'm going to start sort of like a school newspaper, school podcast kind of thing. That's kind of what it is.

Well, and you have, you know, two parents who do podcasts, so—

Right.

You've got some assistance.

There's also going to be a social media page about what's going on at South because the South social media stuff needs to be consolidated.

Awesome. I love your ideas. Very exciting. What do you think one of your favorite memories is from the past year?

From being 15? Um, I really liked the fall play this year. I'm gonna look back on that so fondly. Also, I'm going back to New York.

Tell everyone what play it was.

Um, it was Murder on the Orient Express, and I got to play Daisy Armstrong. It's one of the kids.

And why was that such a good experience for you?

Um, because I got to work with such talented people. I got to challenge myself to truly become a child, and it was just really fun as well.

And then I heard a mention of our trip to New York in there.

Yes. Go ahead. Those are going to be some of my favorite memories. It was truly something I had been dreaming of, certainly a bucket list item, check it off. So I'm definitely going to look back on that really fondly as well.

So what was so great about New York?

I just love New York City. Um, but all the decorations truly made me feel welcomed, and everyone's holiday spirit.

And then we did some stuff.

Yes, and I love what we did. Like, the Rockettes were phenomenal.

I want to go back to, you know, experience another Broadway musical.

I would agree.

So what was I going to say about New York? So I wanted to go to Florida or somewhere warm, and my kids were like, nah. What about—

to be fair, we have been to Florida and Disney. We have made that pilgrimage many times.

Well, we don't need to go to— I just wanted some warmth, and I think my children— I think the idea of laying on a beach bores my children.

There's nothing to do.

Yeah, that's the point. I understand. Seth, did you like New York?

I did like New York very much.

So you mentioned one goal. Do you have other goals that you hope to achieve while you're 16?

While I'm 16? Well, I want to maintain my 99 average. I want to get my driver's license. Um, what else? I know I have more. I want to write more. That was for sure. I want to get closer to starting my nonprofit with Dad. Those are my 4 big goals.

Okay. Can you—

Well, we won't get closer. It'll be done. I just— we just got some technical stuff to work out.

All right.

Can you two tell us about this? Yeah.

So the nonprofit I want to start is called the Clear Media Project. Essentially, the main purpose will be to remove bias in media and encourage media literacy because there's so much bias in news today. So what it will entail is a website which, with news from sources I've already decided passed my personal bias check. And then I'm also hoping that I'll have another podcast where I get to interview journalists because I actually really like podcasting. Wow.

Seth, what do you think of this?

I love it. I'm on board and we have already donated company resources to help her achieve this. It is well on its way.

Oh my gosh. So the thing that— this is the Ella Show, but I want to tell you, the thing I love about my husband is that if my children mention anything, he's like, let's make this happen, right?

That is very true.

Oh my gosh, the ideas. Ella, your ideas are amazing. And I know that we have been on a lot of adventures together, and I'm wondering what adventure you haven't had yet that you really want to experience?

Um, that's a good question.

I mean, I could answer this for you, but I'm gonna wait for you to answer.

I'd like to go to Europe. That's my answer.

I think we all want to go to Europe.

Definitely. Other than Max.

Does Max not want to go?

I think he would be happy once he got there. I think once we were going around and seeing places, I think he would get into it. I just think right now he doesn't like the idea of going somewhere far for a lengthy, significant period of time when all he wants to do is study and knock out his senior year and find out where he's going to college.

Right.

He's an awesome tour guide, so I think he would like it more than he thinks.

Yes, I agree. But at the moment, it doesn't sound appealing.

I see that. So, so Dad and I agree with your, your adventure request, and we will make this happen at some point.

It wasn't a request. It was just a dream because I know that's very expensive.

It is expensive, and I hope to make it happen, uh, even if it's your graduation gift, right?

Doesn't have to be too much in 2027.

So, um, I feel like every year you get more independence. So can you maybe tell us what you would like to see as far as what you're looking forward to getting more independence this year?

Well, I want to learn to cook more. That's another independence I want to gain. Um, I want to be able to plan more stuff with my friends without my mom having to encourage me to do so.

Well, being able to drive might help with that because you could go somewhere or pick people up.

Oh my gosh, it will be so fun to say, you know, hey Ryan, because he's, you know, in our neighborhood, right? I'm going to come and grab you. Let's go to Starbucks or whatever. It definitely gives you more opportunities without your parents involved. But, you know, it's hard for me. You know, I want you to know this, like, you have the week off and I want you to have what you want, whether that's downtime, whether that's time with friends, whether it's all of the above, I just want to help you make it happen. So I think you're right that you need to kind of take the lead a little bit and just like tell me what you want to make happen, right? Right.

Yes.

So I'm curious, if you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

About the world? Um, I would make people less stupid.

What does that look like?

Do you want me to describe what that looks like?

Um, nicely.

Um, I think we could all afford to read more so that we could expand our collective knowledge and ability to critically think. That is a change I would make. I would make more people read.

And as I told Seth, Yesterday when she was talking, I just looked at him and I was like, seriously, she's so freaking smart. The things that she says just blows me away. And I told Ella that our eyes and our brain have to catch up as parents. And all the parents listening will relate to me that when I look at Ella, I have to remember that she's about to be 16. I don't know about Seth. Do you feel the same way?

Yes, I think Ella is very mature for her years.

Yes. And the things that she says, I need to just do like, I need to keep track for like a month and then do a blog just on the things that Ella says.

The Ella Journal. I love the Ella Quote Book.

The Ella Quote Book. So to the, to the child who is a few years younger than you and they're looking up to you as you turn 16, can you give a younger kid some advice?

Trust yourself. You know what you need. You know what's best for you. You know what you are capable of more than anyone else. So the person who is most important for you to trust in this life is yourself. Wow.

Put that in the Ella quote book.

So how do you think you've gained more trust in yourself?

I've accomplished more. I've had more reasoning to trust myself.

That's amazing. You're proving stuff to yourself.

Yes, I have to prove myself to myself.

Okay, so let's talk about a challenge. What is a challenge over the past year that you overcame?

Do you mean like— well, I could say what I just said, proving myself to myself. That's been a big challenge, honestly, since I turned like 11, I've struggled with self-confidence. But over the— this year specifically, I've certainly gotten more trust in myself and I've gained more confidence. And that is certainly a challenge I have overcome and I've become a better person because of it.

Wow, that's amazing. Can you tell us something that showed you that you proved something to yourself? Is there anything specific? Um, it could be the next one.

Getting a 99 average.

I was just gonna ask about that. Okay, so my next question. Ella has a— Ella, change it if I'm wrong— Ella has a 99 6 average.

7.

Oh, was it a 7?

I think it was a 7.

Ah, Ella, you are so successful in school, so successful. So I want to know, what do you think it takes to achieve that? And then I'm going to ask you a second part of my question.

Priorities. Prioritizing school is really what got me there. You just kind of have to prioritize the work and prioritize your education. And I think you should, because the only thing that can't be taken from you is education.

Wow. Wow.

Deep thoughts with Ella Greene.

So what does prioritizing it look like? To give kids advice? Like, what does it look like in your daily basis?

In my daily life?

Yeah.

I do something for school almost every day. That's what it looks like.

Okay. And something I have seen is even if you don't have something due the next day, you're still working on things.

Well, yeah, you have to study and make sure you're on top of other things.

So you're studying ahead.

Yeah.

So what advice do you have for somebody struggling in school?

Keep trying and figure out where your issue is. If your issue is actual knowledge, then you can get there by studying more. If your issue is drive, you kind of just need to reassess where your priorities are and what actually matters to you. And if your priority and if your issue is that school doesn't matter to you, why is that? Because it really should. Because again, education is the only thing that can't be taken from you.

Seth, what do you notice about Ella, why you think she's so successful? Because her average is unbelievable.

Um, I think one, the easy cop-out answer is she was blessed with wonderful genetics from her parents. I think the thing that you could take that gift and waste it though, right? There are kids who certainly do. I think Ella is ferociously determined. I think she works her butt off to keep her grades up that high and do all— like you're talking about the other day, you're like, Ella, take a break. And she'd been working, studying for hours and hours and hours. Like, she puts the work in to stay at the top. That's what you got to do.

Oh, and I'm all teary because I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. Oh my God. I opened my kids' report cards and I was like, holy crap. Seth, we have smart kids who work hard. They don't just— I want to be clear, they don't just get good grades. My kids, the 3 of them, work their ass off. Wouldn't you agree?

I, I, I think they got our genetics and our work ethic.

Yeah, I think they see— so that's great advice to parents. I think they see us work really hard, and I think that that translates to them modeling us.

Yeah, I mean, look at everything you get done in a day. Look at that. There are days that I leave with Ella in the morning and come back well after, you know, late at night. Like, they, they see that it rubs off.

Yes, tremendous work ethic. So I would like to know from Ella, and I ask this to you almost every time, so tell us what we are doing right, your dad and I, and tell us what we can improve on to be even better parents to you.

Um, well, something you are doing right is you are perfect models of things like work ethic and intelligence and all of that amazing stuff.

And we, and we read a lot, as you mentioned.

Yes, and they read a lot, which is good. They instill a lot of—

So we qualify for your change in the world.

Yes. Um, they allow us to have hard conversations Like, I talk to Dad about politics a lot, and I talk to Mom about difficult social stuff a lot.

Notice the division of labor there.

Yeah, there is. Well, as you say, you have to have polarity in your relationship.

Yeah. So what are some things we could improve on?

Some things you could improve on? Um, I think being more patient with each other.

Interesting.

Um, and I think not overworking yourself so much. Yeah, I see especially Mom just absolutely poop out because she works so hard, and I would rather her not do that because that's not sustainable for her, not only as a mother but just as a human being.

Yes, learning to take more breaks. I think that your dad is good at showing me that it's okay to sit down and watch a show and take a timeout because I used to sit down on the couch and start thinking about everything that I should be doing. And I think I've come a long way because now I can just sit down and enjoy the show with him. Yeah, right.

You definitely made progress.

So I think that your father and I have an amazing relationship, a relationship that I have dreamed of, but I think we can always improve. So you're telling us to be more patient with each other. So what does that look like?

I don't know why you want me to ask this.

I love your honesty though. I love that you're telling us to be more patient. You don't have to be specific in an embarrassing way. Is there an example that you can give us of something you would like to see us do?

Or not to.

Um, well, when you see yourselves getting frustrated with each other, I would love it if you guys would take a step back because I have seen you do this before. Just take a step back and try to see the other's perspective and just have patience and try to make the other understand where you're coming from without the emotions attached.

Amen.

Oh, I realized the other day when I was upset with Dad that I was like, if I think about this, he really means well, like he thinks he's doing something really good. So it's really good advice, Therapist Ella, that if I put myself in your father's shoes, then I'm a lot more patient.

So vice versa.

And if I'm more patient with him, if I'm more patient with myself. So I want to tell you this as you turn 16, that if you're more patient with yourself, because that's where it stems from, then I'll be more patient with him and I'll be more patient with you. Okay. Does that make sense?

Yes.

So I think ultimately I have to work on having more patience for myself.

I would agree.

Okay, so what do you think teenagers are looking for from their parents?

From their parents?

This is advice to people who are looking to you for advice because there's parents listening?

Um, honestly, I think just someone to talk to.

Yeah.

I think sometimes that's it. That's usually what teenagers need most of the time, is just another person to talk to, another part of their support system. They don't always need someone to give them advice. They don't always need someone to try to make them better. I think Yeah, they just need someone to talk to.

So I'm gonna follow that up with my next question because what I found, what people say to me is, we need advice from you about the kids who won't talk to their parents and don't tell them things.

Honestly, I think the only thing you can do about that is respect it because if you keep trying to push, they're just gonna push more back. So honestly, there's really nothing you can do in that situation. Try to make them comfortable, be there, but understand that that's sometimes not always going to happen.

Yeah, that's good advice. Seth, do you have anything to say about that? Because you see the moods of our children.

I might have recognized a mood or two. I think that Ella's advice is spot on. We can't force them to talk or communicate. And if we did, it wouldn't go as well. So I think it comes back to the earlier concept of be patient, give them the space that they need, and hopefully they come to you when they're ready.

Yeah, that's good advice.

Right? I had to learn that when Ella says something, I'm like, well, do you want to talk about this now? Are you still processing your feelings? And sometimes she says, I just wanted to say that one sentence now. I'll come back later. Like, Max will come talk to you and then I'll be like, no, I just want to say that one sentence and drop that bomb. I'll come back in a couple hours and tell you the rest.

Yeah, I find that I will have a lot of feelings about something, but it's not about me, it's about them. So I have to give them what they need, and then I have to talk to Seth about what I need. Yes, I would agree. Ella, what do you think is a hobby or activity that you've discovered or something that you would love to learn?

Um, well, something I've discovered while I was 15 was writing poetry. I really like writing poetry. I will certainly continue doing that. Yeah. Um, something I want to learn or discover, I'd like to get better at drawing.

Oh, well, and both of those are amazing coping strategies, so that's good advice to any teenagers or adults that listen to this. What do you— who do you think are your role models, like in your personal life or celebrities? And what do you admire about them?

Well, in my personal life, I would say my number one role models are my parents, who are tied. As far as like celebrities go, I admire Taylor Swift's work ethic.

Mm.

And I also admire Beyoncé's boldness, actually, especially with her most recent album. Um, overall, yeah, I would say my number one role model is my parents. I also admire my teachers just generally.

I love that. I love that. Um, how do you think we could, like, make you a little bit, tiny bit less of a hard worker?

Um, honestly, this is probably just one of the phases of my life I need to work the hardest.

Yeah, especially the year coming up, unfortunately. Yeah, so maybe that's not a good question.

I don't know.

Um, why don't you tell everyone like your goals and your dreams of what's coming up?

You mean like through high school or like my life?

Well, you've got some big stuff coming. What, what do you, what do you have dreamed up for yourself?

I've kind of already said most of it.

Oh, you haven't. So, so talk about college.

Oh, where do you— well, I'd like to go to— and I'd like to get into NYU or Northwestern for college.

Oh, Northwestern. It's not Georgetown.

Georgetown is up there. Okay, it's in the top 5.

So you'd like to get into a good college?

Yes, I'd like to be president of probably Drama Club and STUCO at least, hopefully also First Day First Week.

Um, tell everybody what you just—

what—

tell everyone what you just said. What's the club that you just said?

First Amendment First Vote. It's essentially women's participation in government club.

Okay. All right.

Um, and STUCO stands for Student Council.

Yes, Student Congress.

Congress. See, I didn't even know.

And then everything else I've kind of already said.

What is your dream job?

That's a good question. Um, probably an international correspondent at like the New York Times or BBC, something like that. Those huge hires.

Amazing.

Or employers.

Um, and you talked about reading. Is there any good books that you want to tell everybody about because you want everybody to read?

Um, well, right now I'm reading Women, Race, and Class by— I forgot the author's name, unfortunately. And then I'm also reading The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. And Screenwriting 454, something like that.

454 is Women Racing Class by Angela Davis.

Yes, there it is.

So the funny thing is your parents are also reading a few books at once. So you definitely take after your parents. So Seth, what do you wish for Ella over this next year?

Um, that she continues to grow, evolve, mature, realize how amazing she is, gives herself more credit, and enjoys the journey just a little.

Ah, that's what I was looking for. So Ella, Ella Rae Greene, our beautiful, wonderful, successful child, we are so proud of you. I don't think we could be more proud of you. And I can speak for your father when I say that we want to see you enjoying every day because every day is a gift and we're blessed to be your parents. And I want to see this next year be a journey that you actually enjoy. Thank you. As I told your brother, who is like so done with high school, I'm like, can you enjoy it?

I am actually enjoying sophomore year.

I'm so glad. I am so glad to hear it. And I hope that next year when I interview you, you are going to say the same thing about junior year.

Hopefully.

So is there anything else that you think that we should ask you before we let you go on with your day?

I don't think so.

Seth, anything?

I think we're good. She did a great job.

I appreciate your time and your expertise, and I appreciate you being our daughter.

I appreciate you being my mom and my dad.

Happy almost birthday.

Thank you.

Seth, thank you for joining us.

My pleasure.

This is Rebecca Greene, and I want to remind everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.

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