Episode 430: Change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday!

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday! Hello everyone! You didn't start with that. You always start with that.

Why you gotta make fun of me?

Because you're fun.

Do you like that I do that?

I don't know, it's just what you do. I never thought about it, it just happens.

Oh my gosh, okay, well, we are here, we are live. And yes, we know that our sign is backwards.

The sign isn't backwards, it's Facebook got rid of the magic wand icon that let us flip it around.

Facebook. Why do I smell smoke, children? What are you doing in there? Do you smell smoke?

There was wood smoke smell outside when I went outside. Someone has a—

someone has a fire going. How many times is it gonna tell me that you're watching? So we read— show them—

Change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life by Bob Proctor. Absolutely amazing, amazing, life-changing, transformational book. Highly recommend. 5.5 stars.

Best book I've ever read. Definitely wins as the best book I've ever read. And that's—

you've read a lot of books.

I would say I gave it 5 stars. And I read it once. Seth has read it multiple times.

I'm on my third time.

So I will go back and read it again and again because third time in the last month. Well, one of the things that he says is we change our beliefs through repetition. So I think, so I think that when we learn new things, we need repetition to actually sink it into us and become a new belief and a new paradigm.

Repetition is the mother of skill.

Yes. So we both took notes on the book.

Yes, we did. And I actually have notes.

I'm so glad you can share with us. You can go to winelaplusa.com and read my full blog with all of my notes on this book. Why does the light keep going on and off?

I don't know, it's possessed. We have a visitor, or we just need an electrician.

Somebody, somebody wants to hear this. Somebody agrees with us.

Maybe Bob is Bob, Bob, Bob, it has passed to the heavenly plane, so it is Bob Brockford could be visiting us.

Oh my God!

Except that light does that all the time, not just when we're talking about Bob.

So here is my question for all of you mothers out there, and you don't have to be a mom to answer this question. If you get up at 6 AM and it is now 9 PM, are you as tired as I am? That is my question.

I don't know how tired you are.

I'm ready for bed. Okay, so let's do this. So I took notes on the book Change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life. Thank you, Bob, for writing the best book I've ever read. I really strongly encourage you to go read it. I think it will change everyone's life.

Yes, I listened to the audiobook twice and I'm now reading the physical book for the third time.

Okay, so you're gonna add to my two cents and add your own sense.

There will be lots of sense.

There will be lots of sense. So I want to start with I— my bullet point of you are already there. And I think that when we are striving for something, then we are constantly in the state of striving.

Yes.

Versus acting like we're already there, pretending we're already there, and then miraculously we get there.

Yes. I realized that I had been putting out to the universe a state of wanting, a state of not being where I wanted to arrive yet. And told that story a lot, and now I need to tell the opposite story of being where I want to be way more many times than I told the lack of or negative story to make up for it.

I'm so glad. Do you, do you feel like you're following through with that?

I do. I am. The negative chatter has gone way down, my stress level has gone way down, and I am catching myself when those doubts creep in. I am catching myself way faster. They're not as strong, and I am recouping, reactivating reframing way faster than I used to.

So I am practicing with my thoughts all day, and I— we haven't discussed this, but I am practicing all day. Like, I am literally telling myself what I want to think and feel all day and practicing.

That's awesome.

And I also wanted to tell you that I feel very differently when I look in the mirror.

Okay, tell me more. I didn't know this.

Yes, so it's interesting. It's been a few years of me changing this for myself, but it was always interesting to me how kind I was to everyone around me but not to myself. So like, I'll look at my daughter and— or whichever one of my daughters— and I will see such beauty like I'm not looking for flaws, I'm looking for beauty. And now when I'm looking in the mirror, I'm starting to do that for myself too.

That is huge progress because you used to be very critical because we don't want to look in the mirror and pick ourselves apart.

We want to look in the mirror and build ourselves up. So, so even smiling to myself in the mirror is very helpful. I love that, right?

Yeah.

So I wanted to give you guys the example that when I became a therapist and I was a new therapist. You know, new therapists are nervous. They want to do well, and they want to, um, be competent. And I said to my supervisor, I'm new, like, this is scary. And she was like, go pretend that you're super experienced and that you're really good. And I was like, hmm, pretend, huh? So I realized in the following weeks, at some point along the way, I realized I wasn't pretending anymore. So it's like act like—

yes, as if—

act as if, and then it happens. So Aaron says, I still need to get better at positive thoughts. It's a process and takes time.

Sure.

Yes.

Repetition.

And Aaron, my job allows me to talk to the most amazing women, and every single woman tells me the same thing. It takes practice. It takes tons of practice. Like, I'm doing more sit-ups, I'm doing heavier weights, I'm doing more because I'm practicing all the time. So there you go, there's the answer. Okay, make big huge goals, and you are welcome to throw in—

I will—

your stuff.

Yep.

So I love this, and Bob talks about our imagination and how important our imagination is, because not only do we want to pretend to be at the goal and what it feels like to make it happen, we also want to make ourselves big, huge goals, and that the imagination and the creativity of our brain can come up with What did Jim Carrey do?

He, man, he wrote himself a check for $10 million and said— stuck it in his wallet and said, one day I'll be able to cash this check for acting services rendered, and looked at it multiple times a day every single day until he got paid $10 million for, I believe it was, Dumb and Dumber.

I didn't know he looked at it. Yeah, so, um, so he wants us to go crazy when he was broke. Okay. So I don't know what you're comfortable sharing, but Seth has been sharing his big huge goals with me, and they just keep getting bigger. And the more we can dream up, it's gonna happen.

You move towards that energy, right? God is not inspired by, I just want to get by, right? I'm also reading a book right now, halfway through, called Pray Bold by Joel— Pastor Joel Osteen, where he's talking about come up with goals so big that they would make God marvel at your plan. So it's the same thing in terms of there's some type of magnetic, that energy of something absolutely incredibly amazing that moves you in that direction.

Absolutely. And I love when you share your big huge goals. I mean, Bob is like, go crazy, like think of big huge goals, don't think of little things.

Yeah, one of my little goal— little, little goals was originally I just wanted to get a screenplay sold and produced and be able to go see a movie that I wrote on the screen. And then it became bigger goal of I want to win an Oscar for Best Screenplay. And then I said, hey, I want to play myself in that movie, and I want to be the only person to win an Oscar for Best Actor and Best Screenplay at the same time. And then I want Ella to play herself in the movie, and she can win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. And Reese Witherspoon can play Rebecca and win an Oscar— another Oscar for Best Actress, and we'll sweep the Oscars, right? It just kept getting bigger.

I love it. Keep dreaming. Yes, keep dreaming. We're gonna be, we're gonna be at the Oscars one day.

Yes.

So changing our beliefs, how do we change our beliefs? So Bob tells us to constantly be reevaluating situations. He says that we pick up limiting beliefs along the way from our parents, from other people, father, brother, sister, teacher, preacher, school, and we need to constantly be reevaluating to change our beliefs, and he talks about how important visualization is to change our beliefs. And he also talked about a method. Do you, do you want to say anything before I tell them their, his, their method, his method?

I do, if that's okay. Yeah, I, one of the things that really resonated with me about this part that he said was you don't get what you think about, you get what you feel about. So don't just think about your goal, don't just visualize your goal, Literally feel how you would feel had you got it. Put yourself in this situation and feel how amazing that would feel, and condition that feeling into your nervous system so that you're holding up a big sign of the universe saying, I want to feel more like this.

That's awesome. That is awesome.

So practice your feeling reps.

I love it. And he says that we need to— this is an example of how to change your belief. Write down your problem eliminate as many words as you can. You want it to still state the problem without all the verbose words. And then he says he wants you to look at it and think about what other people would think about the problem. And he said that helps you to look at it in a completely different way.

Absolutely.

I love that.

Yeah, I've been using that, thinking if I was an outside investor buying into my company, What would that outside investor do with my company saying, "Hey, there's a gold mine here that Seth doesn't see yet. I'm going to buy in so I could take advantage of it." What would that gold mine be?

Well, and for me personally, and I'm curious what you have to say about this, I am the queen of getting other people's perspectives.

Yes, you're very good.

So, when I have a problem, I go out into the— my universe and I ask people what do they think. So sure, I can ask myself, what would somebody say? But what I, what I like to do is actually go ask people.

That is an excellent point.

I don't know what Bob would say, but that's what I do.

I'm sure. Hey, as long as it works, that's awesome. I have Bob to actually ask.

So when I have a problem, something that is making me uncomfortable, I want to do my best to get out of the situation, so I do things like ask other people for advice to help push me forward to get out of the situation. That is what I do.

That makes sense.

Okay, under— oh, I'm skipping one. Confidence comes from knowledge. This was so good for me to read and learn and understand. I did not really think about it this way. So Bob says that we have to study the right things, and we have to always be studying, always be learning, always be growing, and that the more that we learn, the more confident we become.

Absolutely. As you got more reps as a therapist, you got more confident in what you were doing. The more techniques you learned, the better you felt, and then the better you did and the better you felt.

Yes. And I also find I was thinking about the other day that I have to start doing continuing education because I have every 3 years you have to have a certain amount of hours, and I haven't really done any lately, so I need to start doing them again. And I was thinking about how when I do continuing education, a lot of times I'm nodding my head the whole time and I already know what they're saying, but it's a wrap for me. Yes. And it's a It's validating what I know, and it's reinforcing, reinforcing what I already know. So I love when I learn something new. I'm always willing to learn and grow and study. Yes, but I also love the repetition.

Awesome.

Okay, so he wants us— knowledge leads— he says knowledge leaves— leads to understanding, which leads to faith. Yep, I love that. He also helped us understand our anxiety, and I think that this is huge for people to understand. And he says, when he puts it like this, it— he makes it sound so simple. And I want Seth and I to try to think of examples to help reinforce this. So he says, lack of knowledge causes doubt and worry, which causes anxiety. I have Never thought about it that way.

Yeah, I don't know how to do or be X, so then I worry about not doing or being the thing, and then I get anxious, right?

Okay, so I used podcasting as an example.

Okay, okay.

So I was not confident when Seth brought up podcasting. I was like, oh, the tech master over here, me, yeah right, is gonna do podcasting.

She's being sarcastic.

And I was like, oh boy, I am not confident. I have no knowledge. My lack of understanding, lack of knowledge, lack of confidence is leading me to anxiety. But I am the type of person, I say to myself, okay, you're anxious, feel anxious, and now go learn and do it anyway. So then I, with Master Green over here, we, you know, he taught me how to podcast and through repetition, yes, and learning and growing. I still have issues, like I couldn't get my camera to work the other day and I was like, crap.

I was like, I've done over 1,000 episodes and there are still sometimes the tech gremlins get the best of you.

So I want you to know that I say a prayer before every single podcast and I say, first of all, I say thank you technology for cooperating and allowing me to do this Maybe we should rephrase the word cooperating. Okay, working. Yeah, thank you technology for working, working smoothly. And then I, and then I say my thanks for the platform and ability to get out the messages that I'm putting out to the universe.

That's awesome.

So I do say a prayer before every podcast.

I did not know that.

And I was very anxious about it. At number one, how the heck was I gonna do this? And I aired episode 428 today.

That's amazing.

Congratulations. And I mean, I, I don't feel anxious. I feel excited every time I do a podcast. So as we gain knowledge and understanding, our anxiety goes down. We get anxious about a new school because we don't know anything about the school. As we learn where to go, who our teachers are, make new friends, our confidence goes up and our anxiety goes down.

Yes.

Aaron says, I have really bad anxiety and still do. Aaron, I want you to start thinking about what the anxiety is particularly about and how you can increase your knowledge about what it is so that you can feel more confident and less anxious.

Awesome.

Right?

Yes.

So anxiety expresses itself as depression. Understanding expresses itself as well-being.

Oh, that's a good difference.

Okay, so, so I'm trying to find the other line I wanted to share. Well-being is expressed and anxiety is suppressed.

Yes, you suppress your anxiety long enough, turns to depression.

I just think that we are being told that knowledge is the key to our success.

Yes, and I like that he said— and I like— embrace the anxiety, embrace the fear. Say, thank you, fear, for the adrenaline rush. I'll take what I need and let the rest go. Like, use it as opposed to being more afraid or making yourself feel bad about having that feeling. See what you can use it for.

He also said to just notice it. He's like, don't over-identify with it. We have, you know, he says take notice. Okay, there's my reactive brain. Hello, reactive brain, what's going on? So just notice it instead of holding on to it. Yep, I liked that a lot. He also says that everything in life just is, and we're making it into something good or bad with our thoughts. And we don't realize the power that we have.

Yes, your thought, your opinion about what is happening is what shapes your experience. Two people could go through the same thing and one person can be really upset about it, one person can be really happy about it. Yes, yes, just how you look at it.

Oh, and I brought up motherhood to you. Did you guys see? She smells smoke too. I'm focused. He doesn't like when I read my text messages, they come through.

You should put this on do not disturb while we're live.

Okay, anyways, Freedom is understanding is what I wanted to tell you. So find your purpose in what you love doing. So it's interesting to me that he wants us to go to work for satisfaction. He wants us to take notice of what we love doing, and he wants us to go do that, and he wants us to find our purpose from what we're enjoying. He's like, your purpose is not this big abstract thing. Your purpose is what do you love, what do you want to spend your day doing. And I just feel like he made it so simple.

Yes, what do you like talking about all day?

Hahaha, what do you like talking about all day? Um, today I talked about mindset.

There you go.

And, um, oh my gosh, this comes up for me every single day. Somebody mentions this to me, they This is like part of the key to your success. React versus respond, okay? And he talked about the coin. Do you remember the coin?

The two edges, yes.

Yes. The rough side of the coin symbolizes working from the outside in and letting the outside dictate your life.

Yeah.

And that's us letting ourselves react to the world. To the world. And the smooth side of the coin is working from the inside out and signifies being in harmony when everything is flowing.

That is beautiful.

So when we're working from our inside and our spiritual self and we're responding and we're, we're not reacting to people and we're not letting the outside world control us, then we live a much better life.

Yes, he said— I wrote down— if you're struggling, you're going against the flow, right?

So how would we go with the flow is what people would say.

Yeah, stop resisting. Go, go with what's happening.

Yeah. Okay, accountability partner. How many times have we heard this one? What I love about Bob is he talked about his wife when he talked about an accountability partner, and he talked about how we need to pick someone who we really respect so that we don't want to let them down. So I tell Seth my goals I tell Seth what I'm working on. I want Seth to know what's going on with me. I don't want to let— I don't want to let me down. I don't want to let Seth down. I want to be the best me and the best wife I can be, and I want him to know what I'm striving for so he can be like, hey, how is such and such going?

I'm your biggest cheerleader.

So we want to pick someone who— and I think he said that you want to talk about it every day.

Yes, he mentioned that he records something of it talking about it and then sends it to that person, which I have been sending you stuff every day.

Yes, yes. So this is a word that came up in my podcast today. Growth is being uncomfortable.

Yes, like when you're working out and you're like, I'm so sore, and you're supposed to be.

So Seth has helped me with this because I used to You're all gonna laugh at me. Please don't make fun of me. I used to get sore and I used to really complain about it, and I used to be like, I don't want to feel this way, forget it, I don't want my abs to be sore, I don't want to feel sore. And now when I feel sore, I'm like, I'm doing it, baby! There you go. So he wants us to keep setting new goals for ourselves. He wants us to realize that growth is uncomfortable. And he wants us to emulate people we admire.

Yes, I wrote that down. I wrote down, what is the one thing that that person you want to admire or become would do? And then do that.

Interesting. I feel like I need more— I don't really have the answer to that. Like, who do I want to emulate?

Okay, well, you got to figure out a role model of someone who's got what you want.

I see that. I see that.

And hey, what could— what are they doing? What's one thing I could do?

Let's talk about how he wants us to start our day.

Yes.

Okay, so he wants us to write 10 things down that we're grateful for every day. I've heard people say that multiple times. Yeah, he takes it a step further that I've never done. He wants us to send love to the 3 people bothering us. Who are— who is bothering us today? Who can we send love out to? And he wants us to get into a loving vibration. Then he wants us to meditate for 5 minutes. And then he wants us to ask for guidance.

Ask for good energy and guidance for the rest of your day.

And if you're feeling grateful, we will see things differently the entire day.

Absolutely.

And if we are sending out love into the universe, we're going to get love back. So if I'm sending annoyed energy out to the universe, I'm going to get— No, 6 in the morning. Am I— what?

Nothing.

What did I do at 6 AM?

No, I'm saying loving energy at 6 in the morning when you get up.

I, I think I do that. Awesome. I'm always excited to say good morning to everyone. Don't you hear me saying good morning to everybody? You probably don't like it.

I didn't say I didn't like it. That's not true.

Oh my gosh, I'm yawning. Okay.

I thought one thing he said that was really interesting was he said, "Worriers worry to calm themselves down as failure prevention.

Use the worry and then cut yourself off." Okay, so Deborah Mallow said something so good today that I forgot to post, so I will go post it in my group. 91% of our worry never happens. 91%. That's how much energy we are wasting.

So cut it out.

Okay. And, and I also wanted to tell you that he said that all problems reside within you. If we have a problem, we're in charge of fixing it. We're— we are the problem and we are the solution.

Amen.

Yes.

So, I mean, And we're just scratching the surface. You really need to read the book.

Do you want— do— are there any more notes that you want to go over that you have down there?

I had a lot of the stuff that you had, and I chimed in.

I think we did a good job summarizing. Yes, I think that we took some really good bullet points. I think that if we read it again, we would probably have new bullet points, and more new things will resonate with me. But, um, I loved the book. I loved learning from the book. It definitely changed me. I definitely need repetition. I feel like reading something like this once is not enough. And I hope you'll read it, and I hope you'll share with us— share with us if you read it, what you think. Share with us if you listened to this, what resonated with you or what you're going to take from this. And I want to tell you that on Friday on the podcast, there is a new podcast being released with Dr. Amber Tishner. And it's so funny, I almost screwed up her name again. I don't know why it's a tongue twister to me. And she is, she is wonderful. And she talked about parents regulating their emotions. And I think that's a super important topic.

That's been big for you. And I think that because rolls off onto our kids.

Yes, we have to be able to regulate ourselves to help regulate our kids, and our kids are learning from us. So I hope you will tune in and listen. And we had our March challenge in my Whiny Palooza Mom group on Facebook. It's free, it's supportive, come join us. And Brandy was our winner this month, so I dropped— I dropped off her prize today. And what else, honey?

Go to whinypalooza.com, find the Linktree, sign up for all Rebecca's amazing free resources, including the Winey Palooza newsletter that comes out 2 to 3 times a week. And as always with all of her content, please remember to like, rate, review, share, and subscribe.

So I don't know how he does that.

Repetition.

And we are going to ask you to please share this with someone that you think needs it because hopefully it would help them.

Absolutely.

So have a wonderful week. Sunday is Seth's birthday.

It is.

So happy almost birthday to my honey.

Thanks.

And maybe we'll talk about Seth next week.

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday.

See you next week. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.