Episode 440: Spring Break 2025 with Lillie

Oh, we're 5 minutes late. I'm sorry, everyone.

Hello, everyone.

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday.

It's Winey Palooza later Wednesday.

I lost track of time. Anyways, I apologize for not letting everybody know that we were on vacation last week, and I think that I had the goal to go live with Lily in Orlando.

Oh, you totally should have done that. You were probably busy though. You You were partying.

I wanted, so at 9 o'clock we were, where were we at 9 o'clock? Were we in maybe an Uber?

Oh, Wednesday night you got us some.

We were at Chef Mickey's.

You were busy living it up.

So anyways, I didn't warn you that we were gonna be off last week because my goal was to go live from Orlando, which I did not accomplish. So my apologies to all of you. And I'm back.

Yay!

And I'm home.

Yay!

And I wanna talk about our trips.

And what you learned.

So this is Spring Break with Lily, but we had a spring break as a family before I had spring break with Lily.

We did.

I wanna hear about your spring break. So if you're listening, let us know what you did for spring break. And I am happy to say the sun may or may not have cooperated and followed us home because it was very sunny today.

Yay, thank you for bringing the sun back.

So I did have a conversation with the sun, and I did ask it to follow me home.

Hopefully it listened.

And tomorrow it's going to be like 70 in Buffalo, New York. So Buffalo, let's keep it up, keep it up. So I asked my children, and I'm gonna start with lesson learned. Lesson learned: do not ask your children what they want to do for spring break. You are in charge, you are the parent, you are allowed to make travel plans and tell them this is what we're doing and let them know we're going to Orlando. You are more than—

we did not do that.

You can be parents who just say this is the trip, you don't need to— it's not a democracy, you don't have to ask your kids what they want to do. I made the mistake of asking and caring, which if I had to do it over again, I don't know that I would do that, but But it turned out— so Max wanted to go to Student Acceptance Weekend at Cornell, which is in Ithaca, New York, which is 2.5 hours from us. So that excited the whole family except Lily. Yeah, when Lily asked me what we were doing for spring break and I told her we were going to Ithaca, you should have seen her face. She was not happy. We have dragged Lily to many—

all the college trips—

many college trips. And the good news is that Ella, Max, Seth, and I love it.

We're into it.

We're loving it. It's so fun. Lily is just putting up with it and being a good sport.

Yes.

So anyways, Ella loved the idea. We went to Student Acceptance Day. We spent a couple days in Ithaca. We had a lovely time. Max actually didn't feel the best, right, on the way home.

So he wasn't 100% while we were there.

He was sniffly, but he was cranky.

So we still managed to walk 8 miles up and down those hills.

We did walk a lot. So we went to Cornell, we went to Ithaca, we enjoyed the student acceptance day, and then we came home. And I had said to Max and Ella, what do you want to do over spring break? Max, all he wanted to do was go to Ithaca. Ella wanted to study, so Ella is taking AP exams for the first time. And man has she been studying. So she wanted to be home for spring break, she wanted to study and hang out at home, and she literally studied all of spring break except for when I pulled her out of the house.

So we're gonna get to that.

You did do a couple things with them which you'll talk about. I did ask her to make some friend plans which she didn't do. I made her some friend plans when I got back, but she did not do it while I was gone. So I don't know if Seth or I suggested it, but I wanted to go to Florida for spring break. I wanted to have the whole family go to Florida. I was craving the sunshine, I was craving the warmth. And I don't think that Florida thrilled you.

I was happy to go, but we had two kids who didn't want to go, so you said, why don't you stay home?

That isn't— that is not how it went at all, and you're remembering it wrong.

This is why I have you to tell me to re-remember for me correctly.

Okay, so Seth is very easy. You probably can tell he's the more easygoing one of the two of us. I'm easygoing about some things. Yes, but you're easygoing about different things.

Melissa says, "Floral looks good on you, lady." Thank you, Melissa.

I need— now I need to lay out here so that I can keep my teeth. So Seth is easy. Seth can correct anything I say that's wrong. My impression from our conversations was that Seth wanted to stay home and work.

That's not what I said. See, you're incorrect.

You read the blog. You approved the blog. It said Seth wanted to stay home to work. It's what you told me.

I wasn't going to rewrite your thing.

Oh my God, people. Okay, how I remember it is that Seth had scheduled things which he could have rescheduled.

I told you that I would work or I would move all the stuff. I— the only thing I had was the things I have on every Thursday, and I said I could get coverage for it if we were going away. And I had told people— I had originally not scheduled anything for the week, and I had told my Thursday people that they needed that the clients were going to host the things and I wasn't going to be there.

So I suggested, or Seth suggested, that Lily and I go to Florida. I don't know which one of us suggested it. I mentioned it to Lily. Lily was so excited, and I said it's either going to be the two of us or the three of us. I was figuring things out. I didn't know if Seth was coming or not coming. And I was fine with either way. I would have loved for— I don't know how I would have felt. Max and Ella would have wanted to stay at home by themselves. My mother would have had to check on them multiple times and feed them, and it would have worked out. Seth, we— Seth and I decided somehow we were— we remember things very differently.

I'm gonna start— we need the progressive instant replay.

Oh my God, Seth. Seth wanted to stay home and work. That is what he told me.

It's not what I said.

Okay, we're gonna have a disagreement live. Let's go for it. Okay, so I remember you saying to me that you did not want to go to Disney World. It did not excite you, and that Lily and I should go. That is what I remember.

Okay, I said I would— okay, so you're misquoting me. I said I would go if you wanted me to. Yeah, but since Max and Ella wanted to stay home, I would be willing to stay home with them so that your mother didn't have to run over a bunch of times and so that no one had to work. I said they want to stay home, I'm okay staying home with them, you and Lily go.

Okay, so the way that I remember it is that Seth was not thrilled with my Magic Kingdom idea. He was not thrilled with my Disney Springs idea. Seth would have humored me, right?

You make it— you make it sound like I said no, that's terrible, I don't want to go. I would have gone. We've gone before. I just said they want to stay home. If it makes you feel more comfortable, then not leave them home by themselves. I'll stay home with them and work, and you can go to Disney. No, it does not matter. Thank you, Melissa. Keep going. Move on with the rest of the story. Move on with the rest of the story.

Okay, so anyways, I'm going to sum this up with Seth is wonderful, and he would have come, and he would have humored me, and he would have done all the things that I had planned. I would have Doesn't mean he would have liked it. Doesn't mean he would have liked it. So we are going to agree to disagree on how this conversation went. And move along. We decided, the two of us, that Lily and I would go. Yes. So anyways, we're going to move on and So Max and Ella wanted to stay home. Lily did not. Lily was thrilled to go on a trip with me. When I told her it was just her, and I wish I would have recorded her face, it made me realize, as much as if it was up to me, the whole family would have gone. I would have booked all 5 of us to go. But it made me realize that when you do anything with just one kid, it doesn't have to be Orlando, when you take one kid to do something, they feel so special and important. Yes. So when we took Ella to Taylor Swift, all the attention was on Ella and she loved it. When maybe if we would have done Cornell with just Max, he would have— maybe he would have liked that just him. I'm just saying that I saw that she really liked it just being her.

Yeah. Sure, she got a mommy-daughter trip.

So what I realized— my—

as we hear them yelling at each other in the background—

they're yelling upstairs. This is great. So this is real life. So what I realized— so Seth is our travel agent. So I realized as we were going through this that we really have in the last 21 years developed roles in our relationship. I have stuff that I get done. Seth has stuff that he gets done. Seth is busy booking the plane and the hotel. I'm the one busy booking like the restaurants and the entertainment. Yeah, so we all, we have our different roles and I— Lily, stop! She's so loud. So Seth booked our plane, Seth booked our hotel, Seth is my travel agent, but Seth travels for work. Seth is used to planes, he's used to airports, and I real— and he's used to Ubers. I realized through this process that I have sat back and allowed Seth to do so much that I was like, I don't even have the Uber app on my phone. Seth books our Ubers. Seth, we're at the Atlanta airport and Seth is telling me what tram to get on. Okay, so I'm like, okay Seth, when is the last time I've been in an airport without you? Like 22 years ago.

Like when is the last time I've I've done this on a social work training trip when we were dating.

Oh, when we were dating, so maybe 20 years ago. So when is the last time I've gone on a trip without Seth is what I realized. And I was like, okay, okay, you might be nervous, you might never have done Uber yourself, you might never have done the Atlanta airport yourself. I'm like, oh my God, you— no direct flight? Like I have to go to the Atlanta crazy airport? And I was like, how am I going to do this? And I'm like, okay, you're going to figure this out. And as I showed Lily in the Orlando airport on the way back— the Orlando airport was insane the day before Easter, I don't know what we were thinking— I asked people. I couldn't find Terminal B. It was confusing to me. It was Terminal A up front in my face, but it was Terminal B to the right with no sign. So I was like, I can't find Terminal B and I can't find the TSA line. So I said to Lily, look, I just asked someone and they told me where to go. So I was teaching her as we were going. So we get to the Atlanta airport. Well, first you gave me the whole, remember that I'm a Delta Platinum member, so you've got to go in a separate line. And remember that you're a TSA person, you got to go in a separate line. And I was like, oh, like Seth does all of this. I had to learn everything. And I was like, wow, don't sit back and let your husband do things because then you don't know how to do things. We got to pay attention, people. Am I right?

You are right.

Okay, let's talk about where we stayed before I move on. Okay, I was researching Disney resorts. Okay, so I would say at some point I want to stay at the Polynesian. I know it's expensive. We did explore it. I was looking at the prices. I was gonna book Port Orleans Riverside. Hi Randy! I was gonna book that, and then Seth realized— would you like to tell them? Sure.

I was trying to make the trip as economical as possible, and I have plenty— I have a whole lot of Marriott points So I said, let's find a Marriott in— or I'm sure there's a Marriott in Orlando. So I found the nicest, highest-rated Marriott in Orlando, the closest to Disney, and said, here, sorry you're not staying on property, but I got free hotel room.

Thank you, honey. He booked an awesome resort. Melissa says, but you're learnable when you need to be. Okay, so I love that, and I wish I would have talked to you before we left because that is the perfect way to put it. And I had faith in myself. I'm like, you have no idea what you're doing, but you're gonna figure it out. And I want to tell you a word that is going to change your anxiety, okay? I was like, this is a challenge. I was like, this is a challenge. You're gonna meet this challenge and you're gonna do it, and I know you can do it. This is what I was telling myself. I was like, I totally know that you haven't done the Atlanta airport without Seth, but you got this. So my warning to everybody out there in marriage is we all end up dividing roles, and I'm just gonna say, make sure your husband knows how to use the laundry machine, the washing machine. Make sure—

cross-train—

make sure that you have the Uber app on your phone. Just don't like hand things to them and not know how to do them. Actually learn how to do them.

3 loads of laundry while you're away.

Oh my god, he totally stunned me. And I came home to the laundry done. I didn't— I expected to do laundry the whole day, then whole next day. You like— surprise! My whole plan for the next day was totally changed.

I wanted her to come home to no dishes done, no, no dirty dishes and no dirty laundry.

I like, I couldn't believe that he did everybody's laundry. I just— you just floored me. Yay! Floored me.

That was the goal.

Okay, Seth says the Buffalo airport's gonna take you 10 minutes, and I'm like, I don't care. I still want to be early. So I was early and he was right. Okay, the Buffalo airport took literally like 10 minutes. So did the Buffalo airport, did the plane, did the Atlanta airport, did the Orlando airport, got our luggage, got to the Uber line, used the Uber app for the first time. I was like, congratulations. I was like, oh, this isn't hard.

I've been telling you it's not that hard.

So we get to the hotel, we check in, we go up to our room.

I forgot to tell you that you're in the Marriott Bonvoy priority line too. I didn't tell you to skip the regular lane.

When my mom passed, I had to teach my dad how to do certain things that my mom always handled. Cory, you're such a good son. You just— what happens is you're married so long, like we're going to celebrate 20 years in September. We have just fallen into a well-oiled machine of Seth does this, Rebecca does this, but I don't realize everything that Seth does. And I'm like— and I realized not only this was part of the stress. Max is 18. Max loves to navigate, okay? So we go to New York City and I say, Max, we're going to the Rockettes. And Max puts it in his phone, and we follow Max to the Rockettes. We're at Disney World as a family, and I say, we're going to the Peter Pan ride. Max walks us to the Peter Pan ride. And I was like, I have not only let Seth book travel and handle travel, I have also let Max take over navigating because he likes to do it. So I'm like, I have these two capable men in my life, and I can just go, okay, I I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna follow Max. So I remembered how to get everywhere at Magic Kingdom.

That's impressive.

We've been there a number of times. I have been to Magic Kingdom enough that I know how to get to all the places, but I didn't know that. I didn't know that. So I was like, okay, it's another challenge. You have to navigate yourself, but you really do realize that you've given stuff to other people and taken away your capability.

We should take turns.

Take turns. You should take turns. And the other thing that somebody said to Lily, it was a pilot. Our Atlanta pilot was next to us on the tram, and he looked at Lily and he said, Lily— he said he didn't know her name. He said, my daughter is better at airports than I am. So he said, so it's your job to help your mom get where she needs to go.

That's what I told her before the trip.

Isn't that so adorable? So not only did I want to learn, but I wanted Lily, I was pointing things out to Lily because I wanted Lily to learn.

Yeah.

Okay, so where are we? We're in the hotel room in Orlando and it's beautiful. And I text Seth and I'm like, we're in our room. And Seth goes, I'm so proud of you. Yeah, but I said, I'm so proud of me. So like, wonderful that my husband's proud of me, but even more wonderful that I'm proud of me and I did it.

You did it.

Okay, so take the trip, take the trip and deal with all the things. That's what I have to say to that. Okay, so where are we now? We are in the hotel room and I decide that I want to go explore the resorts. Lily wanted Dole Whip. So this is an Orlando pointer, just in case people listening don't know this. You can go to the Polynesian and get a Dole Whip and walk around. You don't have to be staying there. They have a Dole Whip stand, and she wanted Dole Whip, so we got it. We walked around. She was amazed by the resort and the sand and all the things. And we walked over to the Grand Floridian. The Grand Floridian is not for me. There is no offense to anyone who loves it, it's just not for me. Explored the shops, explored the hotel, and then we— are you ready for this?

I'm ready.

Hopped on the monorail to the Contemporary. Now, would you have hated all of this?

I don't— see, you gotta stop. You have this negative picture of me that is not true. I would not have hated any of it just because I wouldn't go, oh, that sounds like so much fun, to doesn't mean I couldn't enjoy myself while you were having even more fun.

He's very good at humoring me.

Yes.

Honey, what's your ideal vacation?

Hey, listen, the last time we went to Orlando, I abs— you took us, you took us to Discovery Cove swimming with dolphins, which was on my bucket list, which you didn't know, and made a dream come true by accident. Happy accident. And that Discovery Cove day was my favorite day. That was absolutely amazing.

Okay. So I'm gonna find out more things on your bucket list.

Yes.

And we're gonna make those happen.

Yes.

Okay, so we went to the Contemporary, and I am going to give you another hint that you may already know, but I did not. First of all, do you know that you can walk up to any restaurant in Disney and put your name on a list? You don't have to have the 60-day in advance reservation, which a lot of people get reservations 60 days in advance. Okay, number 2, if you have 2 people, it is so much easier to get reservations. So we easily got reservations at Chef Mickey's. She absolutely loved it. If your kids like the characters, go do it. They all came to our table. It was amazing. And then I should have gone live. Yes, I should have gone live multiple times in the Contemporary. Oh, I should have gone live when the characters were coming over many times on your trip. You could have reminded me.

I didn't think of it till just now.

So see, if Seth was with me, we would have thought of it.

It's all good.

It's all good. Okay, so the next day was Magic Kingdom, and I have never done Magic Kingdom with one child, and I'm with the one child who loves rides. So can you imagine how she felt? And I asked her to come talk to you, but she's upstairs on the phone with her friends. Can you imagine how she felt when I said, listen, your sister's not here. Ella doesn't love rides. You can go on any ride. You can go in any line. Like, you tell me what you go on, I'll wait in any line, and I don't care how long it is. So we waited in long lines. I didn't care what rides we went on. I didn't complain about how long the lines were. We didn't complain that we were hot. It was a completely different experience. Wow. And not only was it a completely different experience, but I also took her to Be Our Guest for lunch, which if you haven't been there, it's super cool. It's the Beauty and the Beast castle, and the Beast was dancing around, and she loved it. And we went to Crystal Palace for dinner, which I've never done, where Winnie the Pooh characters are. So that was adorable. So I was like, okay, she's the kid who cares about the characters, I'm gonna do this. Okay, if any of your followers have littles, Chef Mickey is a great place to get a bunch of autographs on postcards for after-trip special surprises. Oh, I love that, Melissa. So Lily remembered her autograph book.

Wow, last time, years ago.

She saved—

that's impressive—

she saved her autograph book. She had other things taped in it from our last trip.

That's awesome.

And she had characters sign it.

That's awesome.

She remembered her freaking autograph book.

That's awesome.

My— our teacher friend, who may or may not watch this, brought Crocs for the characters to sign her Crocs. She brought a picture frame for the characters to sign her picture frame. You can have them sign whatever you want. Okay, should have gone live, didn't. Did Magic Kingdom the next day, did rides. And are you ready for this? By what do you think, 6 o'clock, 5 o'clock, Max and Ella are toast. Like, they're ready to— they're like, can we go to the resort? Can we go swimming? Can we go relax? I made reservations for 7:20, and I was like, what if Lily doesn't make it? Like, we have to go to these reservations or they charge us. Not only did she make it But then we watched the fireworks. I can't even tell you the last time I have been in Magic Kingdom that late for the fireworks. At 10 o'clock, she's, "Let's walk around," and I was like, "Who is this kid?" My advice to everybody, and if you know this, just move along, don't leave at 11 o'clock. I was like, "Lily, I'm not leaving at 11 o'clock with the whole world. Like, we need to leave." So we did beat the 11 o'clock rush and we did leave. Okay, next day, Seth would have hated this. We went to Disney Springs. Oh, first we had friends come swim with us, then we went to Disney Springs and we shopped for 6 hours.

Yeah, that's a little much for me.

So Seth would have said, Seth would have said, I'm gonna take an Uber and go back to the hotel and you two keep shopping.

Yeah.

I had way too much fun shopping, spent way too much money. If Gideon's is this amazing cookie place, look them up on TikTok. They're super cool. And last time we went, how long was the wait?

An hour and a half, 2 hours.

Okay, I think it was— I think it was like a 2-hour wait, and I think we put our name on a list or something.

Yeah, because Max and I waited in the other line for the restaurant while you guys waited in line at Gideon's.

It was a 15-minute wait. And I said, what do you mean it's a 15-minute wait? Like, I didn't believe her. And she goes, it was like just 4 hours, so just be happy. She's— I don't know what to tell you. She's— it's random. She's— it literally was just 4 hours, so you got a 15-minute wait. You got their cookies, so you have a 15-minute wait, so enjoy your 15-minute wait. So my advice is Wait in the line, put your name on a list if you can, and get the cookies. Okay, so I missed my family, and I annoyed Lily saying things like, "I wish Dad was here," over and over again.

So sweet.

So I realized that I was annoying her, so I stopped, and I said, "You need to make her feel good and not be talking about missing Seth. Yes, but Seth said something brilliant that he has told me this advice before, and he said that— you want to explain what did I say? You said that I needed to be where my feet were. Yes, you got to be present, because I was home thinking like she was pissed when I was like busy texting Ella. Now I'm gonna text Ella, and I'm like, yes, but you—

yeah, she was annoyed when you were not being present to where you were.

She wanted me to be present with her And I— and Ella was asking me like, what are you doing? How is it going? I was keeping Ella in the loop, in the loop, and involving her in what was going on.

Yeah.

So Seth was like, you weren't being where your feet were. And I realized that— I had a huge realization when I was in Orlando because I was really sad. I had the best time, but I had these moments of deep sadness because Max is leaving for college, and I'm happy for him. You're going to hear me talk about this for a year at least, if not more. I'm so excited and happy for him, and I want this for him. This is what he's supposed to do, and I want this. And she likes your advice.

Melissa says, yeah, Seth, love that. Thank you, Melissa.

So I love that Max is going to school, and I support him, and I'll be okay, and he'll be okay. But I realized that this was— it was going to be hard. I'm going to try not to cry. It's going to be hard to have us together. Yes, as 5. So I need to just enjoy whoever I'm with. And if it's just Seth and I go to the Bahamas, then I need to just be present and enjoy who I'm with. If we're together as a family, soak it up because it's not going to happen often once he goes to college. So I'm just saying that things are changing, and I'm learning that I just need to enjoy whoever I'm with.

100%.

And that's hugely different because it used to be all of us together all the time. So lastly, spring break looked very different for us. Everybody wanted different things, and we made it work for everybody. And I guess What I learned through this process is that we have to do what's best for our family, and it's going to look different for everybody. So one family is going to want to go camping, and the other family is going to want to go to their backyard. So I'm just saying, make it work for you. There's no right or wrong answer. I will say I did not feel bad that Max and Ella weren't there because I knew they didn't want to be. I just missed them.

Yes.

Anything else that I missed?

I think that was pretty thorough.

You did a good job with them.

I did.

You took them to the movies.

Movies. I took Ella out for ice cream. I took Ella— Ella and I went out for walk.

Yes, you were very good with them while I was gone.

I did ask them multiple times a day to go do things. They just said no most of the time, but I got them out for the movie, and I got Ella out for ice cream, and I got her to go on a walk with me.

And you worked—

What is happening? What is all this stuff in your hair? Sorry.

And you worked at home a lot.

I did.

So thank you. And thank you for sending us on the trip.

You're very welcome. My pleasure.

It was wonderful.

I'm so glad you liked it.

And I want to tell you to go book a trip because even if it's a few days, it's just amazing to just get away. Like, I literally had to readjust to the routine. When you come back from vacation, you are so out of routine. I was.

Yes.

Okay, so that was our trip.

Yep.

This Friday, Deborah Malo is talking about 6 Steps to Fewer Days That Suck.

Ooh, we would all like fewer days that suck.

Isn't that an awesome title? Yes. She was lovely. I've talked to so many amazing women. Just had an amazing conversation yesterday with a sex therapist and learned a bunch of stuff.

So what are we doing later?

Sunscreen? No, my parents listen to this. We're doing nothing. We're going to sleep. Some really good women coming up on the podcast. And what— oh, come to Facebook and join the Whiny Flusa Mom group. It is free and supportive, and I love it.

And you should also go to winyepalooza.com, find the Linktree with all of Rebecca's resources, sign up for them all, especially her 3 times a week email newsletter. And with all of her content, please share, rate, review, comment, and subscribe.

My commercial. Thank you everyone for joining us, and we will see you next week.

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday!

Bye, Melissa! I love all the hearts. I hope everyone had a great spring break, by the way. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com. Podcast offer.