Episode 450: Why Am I Always Rushing

Hello everyone, happy Winey Plousa Wednesday!

Hello everyone, happy Winey Plousa Wednesday!

We are freshly home from a wonderful chorus concert. It is that time of year. I went through the calendar, I sent the grandparents all of the dates. I am getting organized and going with the flow of the craziness.

And of your craziness and the school year.

And then I wonder why I'm always rushing.

Why are you always rushing? Mama, slow down.

So last week when we were live, I was telling Seth how I was always rushing, and he agreed that this would be a good topic.

It is a good topic. I'm excited.

And I want to tell you the best blogs. So you can read the whole blog at whinyflusa.com.

The best vlogs are when my husband emails me back and says, "That was so helpful." I am glad that you were helpful to me, and I'm sure it will be helpful to others even though I'm not a mom.

Well, it's about anybody rushing, not just moms. But my friend did text me after reading this and said, "Could it be because you try to be super mom?" I could be part of it. That was a very good observation that she said I should have included in the blog. So I appreciate feedback whenever anybody reads it. I like to hear what people have to say, whether it's constructive criticism or positive feedback.

Absolutely.

And so I want to talk about why I'm always rushing.

Why you're always rushing.

And how I can slow down a little and how I can help everybody, including myself, slow down a little. And what I find is that when I'm helping other people, I really help myself a lot in the process.

Yeah, so let's help everybody.

So I'm just going to give a few examples, and I want you to add to this because you observe me every day.

You are a fascinating subject of study.

And the thing about me is that I don't— am I more consistent? I used to drive you nuts because you wanted like a consistent, like, this is what she's gonna do next. Am I still not consistent? You never know what I'm gonna do.

Are you— am I trying to— are we talking about me trying to keep up with your crazy schedule, or are we talking about your reaction to your schedule?

I'm talking about me during the day on a normal day? Do you feel like I'm more consistent, or do you feel like you're still playing guessing games with your wife?

Well, I got you to use a calendar on your phone, so that's very helpful.

Okay, so that—

yes, you're being more consistent because I can now see, and we got Life360, so I can watch everywhere that you go and know what's going on.

Do you track me, Mr. Gray?

Of course I do. You know, I text you between Life360 and the bank account dinging me, you know. I got good, pretty good tabs on what you're doing.

What did I do at 9 AM today? Let's see if you remember. That's a trap.

Thank you, Melissa. It is a trap. No, no, I—

you know what though, Melissa, I want constructive feedback from Seth. I want him to be able to say—

she says she wants— no, I mean, I'm with Melissa. At 9 AM you went to, I believe, Akron to look at puppies.

Yes, I was just seeing if you could keep up.

You want me to remember yours, get what you did all day? I barely remember what I had for breakfast and what I did all day. I have to go look and see what I did all day.

Okay, but I genuinely like constructive feedback from Seth.

I really— stay away from the puppies, that's my feedback.

Okay. Rushing to get somewhere, rushing to finish something, rushing to cook dinner in between things, rushing through my book because I want to finish it and I want to know what happens, rushing through the grocery store, rushing through this blog because I had a huge list of things I wanted to do as soon as I finished the blog.

Thank you, Corey, who says don't fall for the trap. I think it's a little too late. I fell for the trap 20 years ago. Just, just saying.

They all think I'm trying to trap him, right?

Oh, interesting that everybody's saying that to you.

I don't know. I honestly wanted feedback because if I'm still— because you make me look fat, honey, because you like, you like me to be consistent.

So yes, you're very consistent. There's never a deviation. It's perfect now.

It's so not true. It's so nice.

Why is it that you're always rushing, honey?

Okay, so you get the hint of me rushing through my days. Do you feel the same way? Do you feel like you rush through your days, or are you nothing like me? I would love to hear about how you feel during your day.

She would love some constructive feedback.

I feel like I rush through my days.

Well, you've got a time window, right, from the time the kids get dropped off to school to the time, the end of the day, and you're trying— and then you got the end of the day chaos of Yeah.

Okay, so 6 to 9 is with the kids.

Yeah.

9 to 2 or 3, depending on pickup schedules, 9 to 2 or 3 is me getting as much done in multi-facets, multi-facets of my life. Like, can't— like, can I get my work done? Can I get my errands done? Can I get whatever house stuff I need to get done? So for me, from, you know, and how about some exercise, which didn't happen today, so I'm not happy.

Yeah.

So that's like my chunk of time to get all of my stuff done, and then after school is a whole nother level of all the stuff, everybody everywhere. So, okay, focus. I realized when I was writing this that I have had some success in this area, so I want to start—

please don't—

I want— well, no, I'm not beating myself up. I am always trying to learn how I can feel— like, my goal is always to feel in an even better state.

Yeah.

And I don't love the rushing around. So where did I have some success where I felt less rushing? Now, I've told you this before, and you probably don't remember, but I decided to get up earlier in the morning.

Yes.

Because I felt like the morning chaos was driving me insane. I felt like I was spinning my wheels so fast, and it was like, it was like, yeah, you would get them to school and then you'd be like, I feel like I put in a full day. Like, I feel like I ran a marathon. So step one to my success was, am I allotting enough time for what I need to do to not feel rushed? That's not always realistic depending on our schedule, I realize that, but I get up earlier, I give myself more time in the morning, and I feel like a different person.

Yes.

So I am positive you are definitely less stressed in the mornings now.

You—

I was gonna say, there's no way you don't see a difference.

Of course I see a difference.

Okay, so I found some success to stop rushing so much, and that is making sure I have enough time.

Yes, that's just our possessed light.

It just decided—

so it's brighter.

Whoever is— whatever ghost is listening decided that they liked what I just said.

Okay, it's a ghost that's liking your content. That's what happened.

Okay, so Christina, Christina Fletcher, if you watch this, we're gonna give this next tip to you. Christina was talking to me about grounding myself, and when I texted her, we had a session, um, spiritual awareness and healing and stuff. We had a session, and the next day I felt so off, like exhausted, depleted.

Accelerate testimonial right now.

Well, there's a reason. I know I did so much work with her. Yes, that I was just like, oh my God, like, I can't believe there was just so much work. I did so much work with her, and she said, you need to ground yourself, like, just concentrate on your feet and ground yourself. And I felt— did I tell you that I felt totally different when I did that?

You did tell me that.

So she gave me feedback on how to feel better. Yes. And that helps you feel better through your day. Because I find as I go through my day, I'm not aware of my breath, I'm not aware of my feet, and if I stop and just ground myself and breathe, and breathe, I stop rushing.

Yes.

And I am really good. We're gonna talk. Okay, so, so the ghost didn't like—

oh my God, can you stop with the ghost? Seriously.

Okay, so stop. So Seth.

Yes, Rebecca.

This applies to both of us.

It does.

The next one.

Oh, okay, the next one. I'm ready.

I need to be more realistic in what I can accomplish in a day.

Yep, I have this problem.

You should see my husband's schedule.

So I said, so you're saying I should not have 12 meetings back to back in a row non-stop all day? I have told you that Melissa's giving a ghost emoji.

Melissa, let's see if the ghost likes what I'm saying right now.

I love you, ghost.

Okay, so Seth will look at his schedule and go, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, are you listening to anything your wife tells you ever?

Yes, yes, of course.

When you do that, you make me feel like you're not listening at all.

I'm listening, but I have all these demands and time and the people who want to talk, and I'm like, I'm booked for the next month, and they're like, well, squeeze me in. And then 10 people say squeeze me in, and then I have 40 meetings in a week.

Okay, so I'm gonna tell you a really good word right now.

Yeah, you gotta stop reacting to the damn light.

Okay, I'm gonna tell you now.

We're gonna have to get some spiritual person to dispel the electric. Can we just get the electrician to fix it?

What word?

You're telling me to say no?

Boundaries.

Oh, which involves saying no. And I'm gonna say accumulate.

Melissa says no.

Now is not the best time for better boundaries.

Okay, all right. So I want us to be realistic. Um, I have noticed that I am trying to— is this the next one? Because I want to talk to you about that later. I want to talk to you about my more realistic expectations. I do tend to try to pack too much into my days. So he is like— I know what he's doing in a day, and he's like, I'll be home after 3 webinars. I'm like, what is he doing?

That's tomorrow, Thursdays.

Oh my God, his Thursdays. Don't bother Seth on Thursdays. So maybe we could just like tone it down a little and not like pack our days so much.

Maybe I'll take it under advisement.

Maybe your wife needs to pack her days more so you can pack your days less.

No, no, no, that is not the solution.

Well, and I was gonna say in my next tip that I do tell myself I do tend to get it all done, and if I tell myself Is there a good time?

Yes, I have a very specific time when it would be a good time for boundaries. It's on the calendar. I've scheduled when the new boundaries start. There's going to be a week where the— on my calendar where the boundaries start. It's planned.

Let's explain.

I'm cramming a bunch of stuff in so that then I have accomplished all the things and then I have time for boundaries.

Okay, honey, I'm gonna trust the process.

I'm just making it up.

I'm gonna try to help take care of you in the meantime. Maybe, maybe just a little toned down. We'll talk.

Okay, we're gonna talk.

As long as you're okay mentally. If you're not, if you're not—

I'm not complaining much, right?

I'm saying if you're okay with your schedule, if you feel good with what you're doing all day, that's one thing. If you don't feel good about your schedule, then we need to work on fixing it.

Okay, I We'll work on that. I have some goals I want to hit, and then we'll talk.

Okay, so what I was gonna say next is that I do tend to get it all done, and I stress myself out.

Like, I tend to think you're not going to get it done, and then you gotta—

and then I get it done.

See, I got it done. I could relax.

But I did not get it all done today. And what I wrote on my paper, if I don't get it done, it's okay. It's like a self-imposed pressure.

Yes, the world did not end because you did not get 10,000 steps.

You know I'm gonna still get 10,000 steps.

So this wonderful woman, I just want to tell you that we will finish this and I will go do the things that need to get this into the podcast. And then what's going to happen is I'm going to be ready for bed and go upstairs and say good night to the girls, and Rebecca will be doing laps around between the living room and the kitchen. Bopping around non-stop and going, I'll come up to bed as soon— I gotta get more steps, I gotta get more steps. And then I'll be like, it's 10 o'clock, is she coming upstairs? I don't know. She's, nope, nope, I got any 2,000 more steps. Well, you should read your book while you're marching around the house and you can multitask.

Oh, I wonder if I could do that. I could try. My podcast guest was very late and took my treadmill time.

You let her. You could have said— we talked about this earlier.

You could have said no, I don't have good boundaries.

Thank you. You could have just said, sorry, you're gonna be— we're just rescheduling, I'm not gonna sit here endlessly and wait for you. I'm good at that. I'm good at that. You're not here the first 2 minutes, I'm emailing you, 3 minutes you get a phone call, 5, 10 minutes I'm gone, going, guess we're rescheduling.

I didn't do a good job today.

No, you totally let her push your time schedule.

It's okay, it is.

It says it on the paper that it's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

You're just gonna run around the house for 6 hours so you get all your steps in.

When we're done, I'm gonna wash Lily's uniform and then I'm going to do my steps.

Oh my God, how many are you at right now? We'll find out later.

You'll find out when I'm done with this.

Okay.

Um, can I stop and smell the roses and enjoy the journey? And I'm going to tell you about that. I have a very specific example. Don't make too much fun of me.

Okay.

This weekend, this past weekend, I spent, I would say, about 10 hours weeding.

I— by choice—

have my pool ready to use.

Yes, it is open.

And I looked at my backyard and I was like, how on earth am I going to have anyone back here? Like, I have so much work to do. I usually have flowers planted by now, but we have had so much rain that I am so behind self-imposed pressure, people.

Yes, 'cause you know all those 12-year-old girls are gonna say, "Mrs. Green, there's weeds in your back, there's weeds back there. I can't swim in your pool that doesn't have any weeds in it." I don't care. "Because there's weeds and I'm gonna judge you and not be friends with your daughter." No, I don't care about Lily's friends, I care about my friends. Yes, and your friends, if they say, "Rebecca, you haven't done the weeding, so we're not gonna be friends anymore," then they weren't good friends.

No, I agree with you. I agree with you. And it's self-imposed judgment. It is all self-pressure, judgment. So anyways, let's talk about the weeding for a minute. Yes, I was rushing through the weeding, like, how much can I— what section can I get done? How much can I get done in the next 3 hours? Like, I would like rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, and speed weeding. And in retrospect if I, as I was writing this, I was like, if you would have realized that you were outside in the sunshine, it was warm, it was warm out, and you were outside all day, and you could have enjoyed it more.

Yes.

I mean, I will give myself credit, I was listening to a book.

Awesome.

And that was fun. So I made weeding, I make weeding and dishes and laundry and all that stuff more fun because I listen to audiobooks.

Yes.

So that makes it fun for me.

Yes.

But I could have enjoyed the sunshine. Like, stop and enjoy the sunshine.

Yes.

Smell the roses.

Or the weeds.

Okay. Um, do you schedule nothing time? Yes, you do.

I do.

Like, you'll like block out time?

Yes. And then I go sit in a different room and don't work.

Are you talking about home or work?

I'm talking about both. And it—

what do you do at work?

At work, it's a clarity break. I go upstairs to a different office that does not— don't take my computer and sit and do nothing and think.

I didn't know that.

Yes.

Okay, so I need to start scheduling that.

Yes, we schedule clarity breaks. It's very important.

Does everybody do that?

Yes.

I didn't know this.

I'm sure there's lots of stuff you don't know. Okay. Oh, we got a whole lot of hearts for that one.

It was good. That's good.

Thank you. We learned that from EOS.

Well, it's in here in different wording.

That's awesome.

So I will tell you about my wording.

Tell me about your wording.

I have to find exactly how I worded it. I called it slowing down anchors.

Oh, tell me more.

So there's anchors in my day. So when I pick up the kids I take time in my car to anchor myself and slow down.

That's a good idea. Sitting in the car right before they get in.

I do it at red lights. Red lights have become different to me.

Tell me more.

Oh my God, oh my God, I have changed! I'm such a—

I know about this.

I am such a different driver since I taught Max to drive. I have changed. Have you not noticed?

Yes, but I didn't know the thing about red lights, so tell me the thing about red lights.

Okay. So when I'm at red lights, I breathe and I stop and I slow myself down.

That's awesome.

And instead of rushing—

yeah, and being like, hurry up—

being annoyed that the light is red— yeah, it is an anchor.

That's awesome. I did not know about that.

See, we're telling each other stuff we don't know about each other.

I love it. We're still learning.

Um, I will take notice that I'm breathing really fast, so I will sit down and slow my breathing.

Awesome.

And then that's a slowdown anchor.

Yes.

And I'm trying to see if I have any more. Oh, lunchtime, lunchtime. I'm not gonna tell you that I do this every day because it depends on my schedule, but the goal is to stop, make myself lunch, sit down and eat Don't stand and eat, which I have done. I stood and eat— ate my salmon at the counter on Sunday and then ran back outside to weed. Yep, what's wrong with me? So anyways, um, my goal is lunchtime, slow down, make yourself lunch, sit down, enjoy your lunch, chew your food, slow down with eating. My Lily tells me all the time that I eat too fast. Slow down, eat my lunch, and use it as a slow-down anchor.

I like that.

So I have moments in my day that slow me down and anchor me.

Awesome.

So I think I could definitely— like, my coffee is an anchor. Okay, so not on a kid school day, right? But like, it could be. I'm not going to get up earlier, but I could. My cup of coffee slows me down and anchors me, especially if it's like a Sunday morning and I sit down with my coffee on the couch.

Oh, I like that.

Yep. Okay, so that's what I call it, but I like your words of clarity breaks. I'm, I'm gonna steal that.

Please do. It's not my words.

The next one you taught me.

Okay.

Okay, so I hope you're doing this because you taught me this.

All right, I'm ready.

Do one thing at a time.

Yes.

So I am famous for doing 3 things at once. My friend texted me, I'll never forget this moment, "Do you have time to talk?" And my response was, "I'm doing 3 things right now. As soon as I'm done with the 3 things, I will call you." And I was like, "Why are you doing 3 things at once?" So 3 things at once makes our brain feel overwhelmed and chaotic and dumber and dumber, less effective. Yes, if I concentrate on one thing at a time, I feel smarter and less overwhelmed.

And you get more done and get—

do it better, more productive. And instead of doing 3 things half-assed, I'm doing one thing well.

There you go.

So you taught me that.

I'm so glad that I did, because you said women are really good multitaskers. Multitaskers than men, because your brains process differently. However, it still makes you dumber.

So Melissa says guilty of too many tabs at once. And I think—

yes, either your brain or your browser. Women, I see the way you use computers, at least in my world. And I might have 3 or 4 tabs open, and there are— the women in my office might have like 50-some tabs. I'm like, how can you possibly focus with like 55 tabs open? It's crazy.

Would drive me nuts. I think that most mothers are doing a lot of things at once, and I think if they did focused on one thing they would feel less overwhelmed.

Yeah, for sure.

Okay, so time blocking, time management method where you divide your day into chunks of time and assign each block a specific task. So I need to— I think if I write it— I wrote out my day as an example in this. I don't know what you thought of it.

Check it out at whitiepalooza.com.

So I think if I do that every day and like write out my plan for the day in blocks of time, I'm gonna feel more organized and structured and less overwhelmed.

100%.

And you probably do that every day. You probably do that every day.

I do it every day.

Oh my gosh, I've gotten better at this. Okay, I'm making progress, people.

I'm ready.

It's good enough. It's good enough. I listened to a podcast today, and while I was driving, I was multitasking. Is that allowed?

Well, you're going to listen to something most likely while you're driving. So yes, a podcast is good because you're using net— no extra time. You're getting somewhere and you're turning your automobile into automobile university.

Yes, and I learned something.

Um, okay, here Melissa says another follow-up question: how do you turn off the noise of feeling like you're forgetting something while focusing on one thing?

I write it down. I write it down. I— as soon— okay, this is totally my method and it works. As soon as I write stuff down, I feel significantly lighter and better. And it even— it happens to me randomly through the day. I literally grabbed— I was feeling like scattered today, so I grabbed paper and started writing down what I needed to get done. And before bed it happens, so I will write it down so that I can sleep.

Yep.

And as soon as I get it out onto paper, I feel I, I know I won't forget it because if I don't write it down, sometimes I remember and sometimes I forget, and that stresses me out.

Great question, Melissa.

I love that question. And, um, okay, so good enough. I wanted to tell you about this woman who said she's like me, and at the end of the night, like, I want to watch a show or read a book or unwind. And there's a lot of women, and I'm not criticizing you because it works for you. This doesn't work for me. They get a ton done from like— I'm going to give you an example— 9 to 11 PM, and they're doing dishes and cleaning and working and, you know, finishing work tasks and doing whatever they need to do. I work so much better from 6 AM to 9 PM, like At 9 PM, I, I go— I get crashed. You see what happens. And I don't attack the dishes. If Seth does the dishes, fine. If he doesn't, I do it the next day, and it's good enough. The kitchen doesn't need to be perfect before I go to bed. Now, I've had so many experts tell me that if you wake up to a clean kitchen, you feel so much different. But I'm tired. And like, after this, I'm not gonna do a ton of cleaning. Like, I have other stuff to do.

Yep.

And that's okay. It's good enough. Everything doesn't have to look perfect or be perfect.

Amen.

And if I lower those expectations, then I'm not rushing through all the cleaning. Okay, my winding down routine. I don't think that I could sleep without a winding down routine. And I'm curious what other people do to wind down.

Do you want to tell them your winding down routine?

Well, um, we get ready for bed.

Yep.

And we read.

Yep.

And inconsistently I journal, but I think that if I consistently journal, I sleep even better. So I think just having some sort of routine where your body knows it's winding down time.

Yep. We read and then we cuddle, and then I put you— and then you get all warm and cozy and fall asleep.

And, and tell you that I'm too hot.

Yes, push me away, kick off the blankets.

Oh my gosh. So I realized when I was writing this that I have a time scarcity mindset, and I'm fulfilling that every day. Because if I'm thinking that I don't have enough time, then I'm making that happen, and you're making yourself more stressed. And I'm rushing because I think I need to rush because of a time scarcity mindset.

Yeah.

And, um, Dr. Tangie said that even the president makes time to work out.

Yeah.

And she's like, if he can make time to work out, then we can make time to work out. Because she said everyone says they're too busy, and she's like, everyone can make time for everything they need to do. So I think it's a mindset shift, and I think that if I look at it every day— like, I, I was so stressed out about 9 to 12 yesterday and the list of stuff that I was expecting myself to accomplish before my podcast. And I went from, I'm never gonna get all this done, yeah, to you have plenty of time to get all this done. You're gonna get it done, and you're gonna have extra time. And I think that if I start looking at time differently, I'm not gonna feel so rushed through my day.

Amen. So about perception, it's not about the hours in the day. We all have the same number of hours.

That's what everybody tells me, and everybody is experiencing their day like we're in charge of how we experience our day. And I don't want to— I want like a calmer— I want like a calmer, more peaceful day versus a rushing day.

Amen.

So did any of that help you?

It did very much.

I hope so.

I, I mean, hopefully it helped others.

I needed this vlog. I don't know about all of you, but this was for me.

Thank you. Those are the best ones.

I— yes, I Definitely, and I will take your requests. I've gotten— was this another one?

No, we answered that.

That was a good one. Okay, so I will take requests. I have gotten awesome requests, so send us any topics you want us to cover. Um, family, parenting, marriage, the whole nine yards. Mom life, we're living it, right?

Yes.

And anything else you want to add to this topic?

I thought it was really well done and it was helpful to me and I'm glad that you did it. Thank you.

My favorite, favorite ones are when you like it and say it helped you.

Oh, that's so sweet.

So Friday on the podcast is Gina Casaza and her topic is Perseverance Under Pressure.

Oh, I want to listen to that one.

I knew you would like that title. There are two words that bring success. And you know I've said this multiple times, and it's perseverance and consistency.

Yeah.

And those two words will bring us success. And I just said to my friend, don't you let your daughter give up. Persistence. Go after it. Don't give up. So love it. I think that people are gonna like Gina. And, um, anything else you want to slowly tell them all the things?

Yes, go to whinybalooza.com. There is a Linktree there which is a list of all of Rebecca's resources. Please sign up for all of them, especially her multiple times a week free email newsletter. And make sure to like, share, comment, rate, review, and subscribe, because when you interact with her content, it tells the algorithms on all of the platforms to share it with other people so that she can help more people. So help us help more people and reach more people by like, comment, share, rate, review, and subscribe.

So thank you, Seth, that was wonderful. So my wonderful, amazing friends like Melissa and Claire have social media presence for their business, and they understand that we like— we like each other's stuff, we comment on each other's stuff because we know it helps the business. Yeah, so, so thank you, Melissa. Who— I love your questions and I love all your hearts, and it makes me smile and do even better. So I appreciate you. And I want Melissa's— sharing is caring, 100%. And Melissa has a new subscription. Yes. And, um, oh gosh, I wish that I could look it up right now. Melissa, type in your new subscription. I'm gonna talk for a minute and let's see if Melissa types. But she has formed a new— I believe it's a $9 subscription per month, and she's helping people to get organized and declutter. And I want that, right? And I think she has like tasks every day that you can do. And like, I just found out about it today and I shared it. So go look at my page, go find Melissa. Her last name is S-T-E-C-H-E-R. And I love what she does and all her organizational stuff. If Melissa came over— not—

it is hopefully Simplicity library subscription.

Yes, thank you for typing that. If Melissa came over, she would be impressed with some of the stuff I've done.

You've done a great job, but I would be happy to have Melissa come organize the rest of my house.

We could fly Melissa in.

$9 a month, here you go. That's all it costs, right?

No, no, that would be a lot more money. Melissa, you could charge people to like fly you in and like do their houses. I would, I would be your first client.

There you go.

Okay, so I'm gonna go wash Lily's uniform and move on with my list, but this was so much fun. Thank you for joining us and share this with someone that you think could learn to slow down a little like I need to.

Amen.

See you next week. We're impressed by you, Melissa. Thank you so much. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com. Llc.com/podcastoffer.