Episode 479: Lillie's Bat Mitzvah and Starting 8th Grade

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the Winey Palooza podcast, and it is a super special podcast today because I am interviewing my beautiful, wonderful, smart daughter Lily. Lily, thank you so much for doing this with me today.

Oh, no problem.

I have Lily just completed her bat mitzvah, and I'm gonna open the door for our dog, so give me 2 seconds. Okay, Tanner, there you go. Okay, sorry about that. So Lily just completed her bat mitzvah, and she did a fantastic job. Lily and I are wearing flowers from her bat mitzvah. It was a whole flower theme. Her name is Lily Rose, and it was a blossom bash. And did you absolutely love it?

Yes, it was the best, like, night of my life.

She did such a good job. I am so proud of her. I'm still smiling from it, and Not only did Lily complete her bat mitzvah, but she is also about to start 8th grade next week. So I thought we would take the opportunity while she's still home. Uh, her life is going to get super crazy next week, so I want to grab her before she's super busy, and I thought I would interview her so that we could all learn from her and share this with our kids about her bat mitzvah, talking about her bat mitzvah and talking about her starting 8th grade. So is that okay, Lil?

Yeah, I'm excited.

Okay, so let's start. How do you feel now that your bat mitzvah is over?

I feel definitely relieved. It was a lot of hard work and like getting it over just feels like a weight off my shoulder.

Yes, it is so sweet. The cantor had told me that people feel this like letdown after a bat mitzvah, and I did feel a letdown after my bat mitzvah, but after your bat mitzvah, I felt like relief.

Yeah, it was so fun though. I'm so glad I got to have such a good time with everyone I loved.

It was definitely a special night. And, um, what was your favorite part of the day?

My favorite part of the day, honestly, probably the service.

Yeah. So how come?

I just felt like when I was like saying it, like, I felt so close with like God and my family. Oh, when I was speaking And like, I've never been to a bat mitzvah, like, like kind of like as big as that was. And getting to see like everybody I loved there was so relieving. And like sometimes people don't always feel like they're loved and it really made me feel appreciated. And it was so fun. I wish I could relive it.

I wish I would have done a video. I didn't do a video because I never have watched my wedding video, and I have never watched Ella's video. So I was like, I'm not going to waste money on a video, and now I'm regretting it. And, you know, I want to say to your father, you know, I didn't want to do this. You know that. I didn't want to have your bat mitzvah. I was feeling like it was too much work, and I was giving him a hard time about it. And, you know, I knew I would feel good when you actually did it, and I was right. Like, I'm glad he pushed us. Do you agree?

Definitely. If I didn't do it, I feel like I wouldn't have felt as happy as I felt doing it.

It, um, it's such a big accomplishment, and it was so special. And I love what you said about feeling close to God, because I forget that every time I walk into our synagogue, I feel closer to God.

Mm, and it just makes you feel like so good about yourself. Like, I definitely really enjoyed— like, sometimes I didn't always want to do Hebrew lessons, but when I was done with them, I felt like so good, and I was like, I really feel like God was talking to me when I was like speaking.

Well, and I'm going to ask you more questions, but I just want to pause and tell you that being a teenage girl is not easy, and you can get caught up in your head with a bunch of things, and I just always want you to remember what's truly important and and God and your faith and your family. Like, that's what life is all about. So what's one thing you're most proud of from my mom and—

uh, I think the blessings I did, because I was so nervous I was going to mess up, and I didn't take the time to realize, like, It's not that serious. Like, just speak from the Torah and you'll be fine. And like, once you like put your mind to something and actually do it, you feel so like proud of yourself after. So I definitely— the blessings.

And you didn't screw up at all. You did a perfect job, which you didn't have to. But why do you think you did such a good job?

I think from my practicing. And when you're so nervous, you get to the point where you're just like, oh, I'm going to do it. Yeah, like, I feel like if I wasn't as nervous, I wouldn't have done as good because I would just like be like, ah, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, well, you did a great job. Did anything surprise you about the service or the party?

Um, how many people showed up at the service. I didn't think anyone was gonna come, and the party turned out so good. Like, everything went how I wanted it to. And like, it just like all worked out.

It all came together. I was really touched that so many of your friends came to the service.

Mm-hmm. Me too.

What did they tell you about the service? What did they think?

They all were like, like really interested. They all told me like it was really cool and like they didn't know what I was saying, but it was still like cool to watch. And everyone told me they really enjoyed it.

That's wonderful. How did you feel when you were practicing?

I'm gonna say overwhelmed.

Okay, yeah. So how did you get through those overwhelmed feelings?

Um, talking to my, like, Hebrew teacher. Like, he always— I always was like, I'm really nervous about Mitzvah, and he always was like, it'll be fine, we're gonna be next to you. Like having good teachers, people don't realize how important it is. Like, I asked them a lot of questions and they all answered so well.

He was— so when Lily was up on the bima at the Torah reading, her Torah portion, she had the rabbi to the left and she had her tutor Harvey, Mr. Horowitz, to the right. And it was just a very special moment, and they were there to support you. And I remember telling you, don't worry, because they're by your side, and if you need them, they're they're right there.

Yeah, it was really good having them.

Hopefully that made you feel better.

Mhm.

What was the funniest or most memorable moment?

I think when at the party when I got to go on the chair and lifted me up, and it was, it was just so funny. And like seeing everyone's face was really cool. And like—

Yeah, go ahead.

We had to like redo it twice. You can talk about that. And it was like, I was like, okay, second time, yay.

So Lily's up on the chair and I'm like, oh, I don't have my phone, I don't have my camera. And I look around and the photographer's not there and I'm like, hold on, hold on, I gotta get the photographer. You gotta do it again.

Yeah, it was so fun.

What was the hardest part of preparing for your bat mitzvah?

I feel like I shouldn't say this, but I was so worried about the decorations. I wasn't realizing how much, like, the party is like the fun part. Like, people didn't really— like, they're like, oh, the decorations are cool, but they're more focused on like getting with their loved ones.

So, so I want you to stop for a minute and I want you to remember this moment because you, my love, get very caught up in details— how you look, how your makeup looks, how your party looks— details. And life is not about the details. Life is about the meaning, and the meaning is not about how pretty your party is. So I hope that you really can take that in. We went to set up the bat mitzvah, the party, and I'm like, okay, I'm done. And Lily is like, I am not done. I still want it to— I gotta finish and make it look how I want it to look. But I think it was beautiful.

Yeah, I was so pretty.

So you were very into the decorations. Like, what, what was like your favorite decoration?

I feel like the balloon arc and like the L. Like, everyone took photos around it and it was so pretty. And I also really liked, um, like your little photos that you put up. Those are super cute.

Do you like them in your room?

I really like them in my room.

So I did 3 photo boards for Lily. I did, um, one that was mainly just Lily and our family of 5, and then I did one of Lily with like her extended family, and then I did one of Lily and her friends. So I did 3 different boards and I thought they turned out well and I didn't want to waste them because I love them so much, so I hung them in her room.

They're so cute. I love them.

That was probably my favorite decoration, only because I love photos.

Yeah.

Okay, so where was I? What part of the celebration made you feel the most loved?

There's two. The service when everyone was there And the second one is when— this might sound silly, but like at the party the DJ was doing like dances and stuff, and like in games, and like sometimes he would have like people point at me and stuff, and it made me feel like really appreciated.

Oh, he did such a good job! He did such a good job. What was your favorite part of the party?

My favorite part of the party Um, oh, the candle lighting. I really liked the candle lighting.

You did?

Yeah, it was so fun, and I really liked like all my speeches. They worked out good.

So Lily, so that for those of you who don't know, at a bat mitzvah you can do a candle lighting, and we did 13 candles because it's supposed to be for her 13th birthday. Lily's turning 13 on October 2nd. But I chose to do her bat mitzvah August 2nd instead of in October because two reasons. Number one, her brother was still home because her brother left for college. And number two, her cheer season, her fall cheer season is so intense that I was like, let's do the bat mitzvah before the intensity.

Yeah, good idea.

Yes. So that worked out well. So we did 13 candles and she picked 12 people or families to call up and she wrote her speeches all by herself and she did such a good job and she made all of these people feel so special. And I would say my favorite photo from the candle lighting, the photographer got such a gorgeous photo of you with your friends. Yeah, so if you need a photographer, I have a fantastic one. And what was your favorite candle?

My favorite, like, person that I did?

Favorite speech, candle, whatever you want to say.

I kind of want to say Max's. I really liked, like, how it worked out, and I noticed, like, I got everyone kind of tears a little bit.

Everybody cried when you did Max's. You want to tell them why everybody cried when you did Max's?

Because Max is 18, so he's off to college.

And he— and you were like, I'm gonna miss him on the other side of my wall. Because Max likes to game with his friends, so he would be on the computer gaming. And Lily was talking about how she's gonna miss her white noise of Max gaming. And you were like, don't forget about your family.

Am I getting you to cry a little bit?

Um, so how are you doing with your brother away? Are you doing okay?

Yeah, I feel like I've gotten better. The first few days I was really upset because I was like, I didn't realize how much like he like came into my room and stuff. I'm not trying to cry.

I know, I'm very sad. I'm trying not to be sad. I'm trying to pretend that I'm not sad, but you know that I'm sad.

Yeah, I do.

And I want to take you and Ella to see his dorm room.

Yeah, I really want to see it. I definitely am not— oh, sorry, go ahead. I'm not as sad as I thought I was gonna be, but like, because like, I like— time has gone on, but like, I definitely miss his presence.

Yeah, and I was trying to talk to myself about the fact that he is always busy. Like, he was always at the gym, at his friend's house, working. Like, it wasn't like he was in my face all day, but I just liked having him home.

Yeah, me too.

What was your favorite part of the, um, ceremony? Um, the service.

My favorite part I think the rabbi speech that he gave to me, it was so touching and I felt like it was so heartfelt when he was speaking and like I really felt the words he was saying, if you know what I mean.

Him and Bruce did amazing speeches. What did you like about the rabbi? What did you love about the rabbi's speech?

It made me feel so mature. Like I actually felt like sometimes I just feel like like, I'm like, last year I was like, oh, I'm in 7th grade, like, I'm not really getting that old. But then, like, as he was speaking, like, I felt like I was like— I don't know how to explain it.

Like, was there anything particular he said that you remember that meant a lot to you?

Um, I don't think I remember anything specific. But like, I just remember like the emotions I was feeling as he was speaking, and I just remember feeling so like touched.

I mean, Bruce and the rabbi had me crying. I mean, their speeches were so heartfelt and they're both so close to our family. Um, Bruce is very involved at temple and he worked for Seth for many years, and Seth is my husband Lily's dad, for those of you who don't know. And just like even the whole like hat trick, like that you were like the third piece, you were the hat trick. We had 3 bat mitzvahs done, and like the rabbi has been with us since you were born. He was at your naming ceremony when you were a baby, and he's been with you since like the day you were born. So it was just very special, definitely very special. I will tell you that other than their speeches, my favorite part was passing the Torah around.

Oh yeah, I really— I was gonna say that too. And I really want— sorry, I keep cutting you off.

No, go.

Um, I was— when I was like reading the Torah and I had you and Dad by my side and you guys were like kissing me, I really liked that and it definitely calmed me down.

Did you— do you— did you like our speech? Do you remember our speech?

I really liked your guys's speech.

The theme of my speech— well, Seth wrote— Seth, I wrote it. Seth read it because I was too emotional. You probably could tell that I wrote it, right?

Yeah, I could tell.

He did miss a line in it, and I should dig it out so that you can see the line that he missed. But, um, he did a great job. I wouldn't have been able to get through it. And the whole theme was about how you want to do everything by yourself and that you prepared by yourself for your bat mitzvah. You wrote the candle lighting by yourself, and how it started when you were 1 year old and I wanted to put your shoes on and you said, "All by myself." Yeah, and I was also gonna say, um, I noticed like as I was like, as I—

when Ella had her bat mitzvah and Max had her bat mitzvah, I always saw them practicing and I always said like, "Oh, that's in so long, like I don't need to worry about that," or like I remember being like 8 and watching her practice and being like, oh my gosh, that's so much work. And like seeing myself do it and like, like being, my vómito was over with. Like, I just feel like so like relieved and so like, I don't know, like proud of myself because I really thought it was like hard to do. And like, I did not think the day was going to come that I was having my vómito. Like Ella was just having hers.

Well, and I think that you have proven to yourself and to me that you can do really hard things. And I think being my baby, I can underestimate you because you're my baby, and I, I can forget how capable you are. And I know how capable you are, so I'll, I'll try to, to back off and remember. He likes to tell me all by myself, it's instinct. How did it feel to see everyone you care about celebrating you?

It felt really good. I feel like I already said everything about that. It definitely felt really good. And like, you don't realize how many people love you until they're in a room with you. So here's a reminder, anyone like listening to this, you're loved and like you're appreciated.

So when you say to me, nobody likes me, you are never allowed to say that again. So maybe you have proven to yourself how many people love you.

Yeah.

Is that true? Mm-hmm. So what's one piece of advice you'd give to someone preparing for their bat mitzvah?

Um, stop worrying so much. I'm a big overthinker and I was overthinking way too much about my bat mitzvah. So like, take it slow and like take a deep breath and realize like what you're doing. Like your bat mitzvah is like a big part of like adulthood and stuff and like It feels really good once it's over with. And like, I wish I could like relive the day so I could really be present in the moment and like enjoy all the preparing. Like my last practice, like my last Zoom meeting with him, I was like, oh my goodness, that was my last ever practice with him.

Did you— do you feel like you tried to stay present during the day?

I definitely tried. I feel like I was present, but I really wish I wasn't so stressed out.

So you said you're a big overthinker. So if you can talk to yourself about overthinking versus not overthinking, can you tell us how that looks? So here I am overthinking, here I am handling it better. What would it look like?

Okay, so I'm going to say overthinking is like, uh-huh, this is something I do. I'm just going to say an example. On tests, I go through questions a million times and I always have the right answer and I switch it to the wrong answer. That's why I don't do the best on tests.

So not this year, baby.

Yeah, not this year. It's not going to happen. That's overthinking for me. And then not overthinking, I'm going to use the test example, would be actually finishing the test. Like, don't look it over, just turn it in.

I think it's okay to look it over, but I think you have to go— our instincts tend to pick the right answer. So you got to trust yourself. Yeah. What will you always remember about your bat mitzvah?

Um, I want to say all the people again. I'm trying to think what else. Um, something I'll always remember— the amount of work we all put into it. Seeing you did so much work for my bat mitzvah, and like just seeing like how good it worked out. I'll always remember that because like that also helped me like in life to know like everything works out. Like, just take a deep breath. Another thing, all the speeches everyone said, those are super sweet. That's like, I like, I'm going to remember the whole thing. Like, there's nothing like that I'm not going to remember.

My mom told me one day when I was very overwhelmed, she's like, you always get it all done. So I think that's a good line to tell yourself. I always get it done. I always do a good job and I always get it done.

Yeah.

Who made the day feel extra special? You. Your mother?

Yes, you did. You just like, you make everything feel so like, even when you can be sad, you're always smiling. Or, and like, I feel like it rubs off on me sometimes. Like I was stressed out and I just saw you like in the crowd smiling at me. It made me feel so good.

That makes me so happy. What was the sweetest thing someone said to you?

Um, I have— someone said something. Okay, wait, I remembered it. Really hope I never get it. I think Jamie Potash, your friend, she like said to me, she was like Come on, I really hope I didn't forget it. Wait, it might just be in the moment. It was her and Grammy. They both said something really sweet to me. I know Grammy said— she was like telling me like to take a deep breath, and she was like, don't worry about anything, like, you're gonna do fine, I believe in you. And that stuck with me. And Jamie was like She was like, you're the third sibling, like, I'm so proud of you, ma'am.

It's okay, it's okay. That's, that's wonderful. I love that. I bet you a lot of people said really sweet—

yeah, so many people said such sweet things to me.

Um, what was your friend's report about the whole party?

Everyone loved it. I got a lot of like, that was the best party I've ever been to, and like that that a bunch of people were like, that was the first bat mitzvah I've been to and that was the best one. Like, oh my gosh, glad to know that.

It was so special to me to have so many parents say, my kids have never been to a bat mitzvah, they're so excited.

Yeah, I was really lucky to be their first bat mitzvah.

Was there a moment that made you laugh out loud? I saw you laughing out loud in a picture.

Oh yeah, I was— I have my best friend Megan, we're always laughing about stuff, and like there were a bunch of games that we were always laughing, and the photographer got a picture of us laughing, so that was funny. Uh, I think honestly I was kind of laughing at myself because I was so stressed out and I did my tour portion and I was like, you're so dramatic, that was so easy. And I was kind of laughing under my breath.

It's okay to be dramatic. Sometimes things seem bigger than they are.

Yeah.

And Lily's screen— I just realized Lily's screen says Ella because she's using Ella's computer. Ella is her big sister. Um, this is really Lily who's doing the interview if you're watching us. And if you're watching us, we're wearing matching flowers from the bat mitzvah.

Yes.

I need to give you the bag of these so that you can like put them in your braids, because I have a bag of them.

Yeah, girl.

Did anyone give you advice you'll always remember? Did you already answer that?

I probably already answered that.

What did you learn about yourself during this journey?

Um, I definitely learned that like even when things are hard, I always push through. I think there's been a lot of times where I'm like, that's way too hard, I can't do that. Like, never say you can't do anything because you always accomplish it. And it really taught me, like, and I always thought I was gonna forget things, and if you keep going over them, you'll be fine. So that's what I did. That's the main thing. And also, like, you have so many people that love you. Like, sometimes there's like people that you have that you don't know you have. Like, I know so many people I can text when I'm upset, and I'm so lucky to be able to have that. So I hope so many other people have that too.

Hopefully this, this experience gave you more confidence in yourself.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it did.

If you could do this all over again, what would you do the same and what would you do different?

Okay, so things I did the same. Would be, I would have the party the same, probably, yeah. And I would have like same people come. And okay, things I would do different, I would not be so stressed out. And like the night before, I would like talk with you about it. More because like I was keeping everything inside and I wasn't talking to anyone about it, and that's really not good for you to do that. So I'd switch that up. And another thing I would switch up was I feel like I would do like our hair and makeup later because we did it like early in the day, you know what I mean? That doesn't really matter.

Well, no, not really, because we were done and like before we knew it we had to get dressed and go to temple.

Yeah, true.

I think it was good timing.

Yeah, okay. I don't know why I said that. Another thing I would do different would be I feel like I would have like my little cousins have more time to like participate because I feel like they're like, oh, it's temple, like they don't even know what it is. So I would have made them like have more fun by doing something, probably.

Yeah, I tried to include them.

Yeah, you did a good job on that. I just would have done more. I don't think there's anything I would change. I really enjoyed the day.

So go ahead.

I was gonna ask you something. Okay. Um, what was like something that like made you feel so special? Like, is there anything that made you like—

oh my gosh. So your dad and I had many conversations about the bat mitzvah because I was like, I'm too busy, I have too much to do, I don't want to plan this too and I was like, I'm exhausted, this is too much work. And I started to like reframe it to, I think that there is— I think I'm going to handle parties better. Not that I don't handle parties well, but I think going forward I'm going to do better because there is nothing more special than bringing our friends and family together. Having so many people who we love together. It was magical. And the rabbi and the cantor and Joanne and Harvey, they all showed up at the party. Yeah, it just was amazing to just have so many loved ones all in one room. So I would do that again just to bring all of our people together because I don't think there's anything more special than that.

Yeah, it's a good answer.

Yeah. So anything you want to leave them with about your bat mitzvah? A memory, a lesson?

I think I said everything. And just enjoy it if you're having one, because it goes by super fast.

I think that, you know, I want to say that the rabbi, the cantor, Joanne, Harvey, Bruce— like, they made the experience at synagogue so flawless. Like, I just felt so supported and loved. They made— the service was perfection. It was absolute perfection. I, I do want to give some advice about the party. Um, the party was spectacular, but I had to work. I don't know if you realize that, but like, I had to like do stuff. So I think that A, communicate with the place, because I thought the events manager was going to handle everything, and I would have hired someone. So like, looking back, a lesson that I learned is when it is your special day you want to just enjoy your family and friends, and you don't want to have to be doing work, and you don't want to have to be coordinating and worrying about details. So I would just say communicate with wherever you're having the party and find out what they handle and what they don't handle so that you can hire someone to help you. Because if I could go back, I would have hired someone to like handle the whole evening for me.

Yeah, I was about to say something about the party. But I think I forgot.

So, so I can end with talking about your bat mitzvah, or we can move into 8th grade. It's whatever you're up for.

I'll do 8th grade. I got a lot of energy.

You have a lot of energy. Lily is the Energizer Bunny. Lily amazes me. She is on 2 cheer teams and she works out and does 2 cheer teams. So, man, does this girl— she's in fabulous shape. And she has tons of energy. I don't know how you do it, Lily. She is starting 8th grade next week, so I wanted to talk to her about her fabulous bat mitzvah, and I wanted to tell her how incredibly proud I am. You did such a good job. I am still smiling from that event, and we are currently in the middle of printing pictures. I will share them if you are friends with me on Facebook and Instagram. I will share them. The photographer did an amazing job and sent us the photos. So I want to talk to Lily about starting 8th grade because I was hoping she could help someone who is going to have their bat mitzvah, and I was hoping that she could be helpful about 8th grade and middle school. So I want to ask you, Lily, what's the thing you're most excited about for 8th grade?

I'm really excited about taking like more advanced classes. Like I've always wanted to be like I'm not like as much like my siblings, but my siblings are really smart and I would love to get to kind of where they are. So it's gonna be so fun being able to like be like— hopefully it's gonna go— my classes are gonna go good and I'm gonna be like, I can handle harder things than I think I can. And I'm super excited about like having more mature— like my grades probably be more mature, so it'll definitely help. And having like, like the teachers and like, I just love new school years. I feel so like organized, so I'm excited.

So first of all, I want to tell you how smart you are. I know that it's probably hard. Her brother just started at Cornell University. Her sister has— is a junior and has really big goals for college, and I think it's probably hard to be their little sister. But I want to tell you that you are super smart and you are also different and you also seem to have better balance than they do. So, remember that because I do talk to Max and Ella about balance. Like, I will say to them, make sure to have some fun.

Yeah, right? Definitely have fun.

Make sure to have some fun. Um, Lily was very nervous about school supply drop-off because The day before we had zero— no, we had one. We had your pencil case. We had one supply. And she was like, we don't have any supplies. But this is a lesson. You just have to focus and get it done. It took us like 2 hours and we got it all done. So you see that we can be overdramatic about things.

I definitely can. Yeah.

So, so what did you learn about that process?

Um, I learned that everything worked out in the end and stopped taking everything so seriously because I was like about to cry. I was so stressed out, like, chill.

You were so stressed out. You were like, my friends have all their school supplies. Okay, your friends didn't just take their child to Cornell University. Your friend's mom didn't have to plan about mitzvah. Like, school supplies was not first on my list, kid.

Yes.

Oh, maybe you could put on your mirror, "Everything works out.

Don't take it so seriously." Yeah, because I need to remember that.

Thank you. I appreciate that lesson. What's the thing you're most nervous about for 8th grade?

Uh, I'm gonna have the same answer. Um, main thing is taking harder classes because there's one class Earth Science. And everyone, if you don't know this, like, people take it and like it's a harder class and a bunch of people struggle with it. So I'm hoping I do good and I'm really nervous for that, but we'll see how that goes. And I'm also nervous about like, like being more in the upper class of the school because like going from 7th grade is not that serious. Like you just take classes, do the tests, not a deep— 8th grade, like these are Regents classes, like it's not boogie-woogie anymore.

Well, well, so what I said to Lily, in case you guys don't know this, is so Lily is taking 2 high school classes as an 8th grader. She's taking, um, a high school English class, ELA, for 9th graders, and she's taking earth science, which is also for 9th graders. It's for— they're both high school classes. So all of Lily's classes other than that will not follow her on a transcript but her 2 high school classes will now follow her to high school and be on her permanent transcript. So it's a little bit more serious, but I think she's going to do great, and I think she can do it, and I think she's super smart and she works hard, and I have faith in you. Which class, which class do you think will be your favorite?

Uh, ELA. I love like learning like the new like like the new, like, words that we learn. I like learning, like, how people put things more into perspective. Like, it's a really good skill to have in life, and I like learning about it. And I'm just really excited for the class, especially the teacher's really sweet.

The teacher's wonderful. Ella loved her. She's so sweet. So sweet. She's gonna love you. You have to tell her who you are.

I will.

You have to tell a lot— we'll go over this after the interview, but you have to tell a lot of these teachers who you are because they had your siblings.

Yeah, I will.

You have a lot of male teachers this year.

I do.

You know, that's rare. I'll, I'll show you your schedule. I'll count them up for you after this. What is one goal you want to accomplish this year?

I want to stay in National Junior Honor Society. If you don't know what that is, it's like having a 94 and above in all your classes, and I really hope I stay in that. It might be harder this year.

Do they kick you out?

I don't think they can kick you out, but if you have like— it's just a big goal for me to have over a 94 in all my classes. Like, I just feel so accomplished, and I just need to have 94 in them all.

Well, so I always tell Lily, and every family is different, but I always tell Lily the goal is a 90 or higher. But if she doesn't get a 90 and she worked hard, I'm not upset with her. Like, she'll come home and be like, oh, You're gonna be mad, and I'm not mad because I saw how hard she studied. So if you study hard and you do your best, I'm not mad. That's how it works. If you don't study and you get a bad grade, then I might be upset. Yeah, so school comes before cheerleading and friends.

Yeah. Yes.

Um, how do you want to change— oh, you just said how you want to challenge yourself. You want a 94 or higher.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Are you going to try any new activities or clubs?

I wanna— I like wish my school had more like clubs, like more like diversity in the clubs because I want to be able to like— I'm gonna do HERD again. It's like basically, if you don't know, it's like a club and like the school like I don't know how to explain it. Like, people get together and you like do projects like charities, and you can like go out and like make beds for people or food drives. And it's like, it feels so special. I said this in my speech, to give to others, to me. So I really enjoy the club and I want to go more this year. And that's like, there's no other club Well, you do morning announcements. Yeah, I do morning announcements. I'm doing that again.

So you'll have to see if there's anything else that you want to join. You're kind of busy, but I want you to pause and tell everybody about your bat mitzvah project because I forgot to, to ask you about that.

Okay, so my bat mitzvah project was I did a bake sale and I like had so much fun. I baked everything myself and I made like posters and stuff and people came and it was a charity to Make-A-Wish. And it's like, basically Make-A-Wish is like a charity to those that like want to go to like Disneyland or like want to have something special like while they can. And it's so special to me and it was so fun. And I— people donated and I hit over my goal, which I'm so thankful for. And that's like Yeah, anything else you want to say about that?

So unfortunately, kids, you know, are sick, and Make-A-Wish makes their dreams come true. So Lily helped with that, and we met two amazing ladies through the journey. So maybe, Lily, you can help connect Herd with Make-A-Wish, and maybe Herd could help with something for Make-A-Wish.

I'm definitely gonna try.

And you did such a good job. There's nothing better than doing something for charity. I mean, I'm just so proud of her. So how are you going to make this school year fun for yourself?

I'm gonna— it's definitely gonna be harder this year, but I'm gonna try to like, like pace myself and like notice that like 2 cheer teams and being a student and being like active is not the easiest thing. And I want to make sure like I'm like taking deep breaths and not getting stressed out. And I'm going to like get— hang out with my friends. I'm trying. Like cheerleading is like so fun for me. It's like that's my fun basically. And yeah, I basically just pace myself and enjoy my sports. And 8th grade, everyone says it's so fun, so I'm going to enjoy being in the upper class.

And I just want to tell you while we're talking about it, I know how busy you are, but what is super important to me is that you get your sleep. So I want you to prioritize going to bed a decent time so that you have a lot of energy to do all the things and to be a good student, to be a good student too. Um, what's one way you want to grow as a person this year?

I want to get more mature and like realize that things don't matter as much as you think they do. And like stop noticing the little things and focus on the bigger things.

So I'm gonna tell you something as you're talking about this.

You—

and this goes for every child, um— I think that you get super cranky when you're stuffing your feelings. So I just want to pause and encourage you and every child who might listen to this, or every parent who can tell their child this, that you got to talk to people, you know, talk to your friends, talk to me, talk to your dad, talk to your grandparents, like, talk to your sister. Your sister's still here. Like, talk about your feelings and don't stuff them, because when you push them inside, you get super cranky. And that doesn't work for me, and it doesn't work for you. And I have told Lily today, unfortunately, I'm still very sad. I have not adjusted to her brother being away, and, and I am still fighting back tears every day. So I kind of need her right now. So I need her to not be so cranky right now because I don't really have the stamina to deal with it at the moment. So just hear me and try to talk about your feelings instead of stuffing them. I think that's a good goal for you this year.

Yeah.

Okay, so what advice do you have for someone who is nervous about 8th grade?

Wait, I'm going into 8th grade? You mean like 7th grade or no, 8th grade?

You can, um, I don't care what grade. Anyone who's nervous about, you know, we can even talk about being nervous about starting middle school, starting 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th grade. Like, what advice do you have to these kids who are feeling nervous right now?

Um, just take things slow and realize like life happens really fast, and if you're so worried about like, like friends and how stuff is going to work out, you're not going to appreciate the moment. And also you like grow older and there's so many— like your life changes. And I find sometimes I hate when things change. Like when Max went to college, I hated not having— like I still right, not having him. But like, don't be so worried about change and be more focused on the present. I've like said the same thing 100 times. Sorry.

No, you haven't. It's really good advice, and we all need repetition. Um, sometimes I say things to you and you're like, I know already, but, but kids need repetition. Yeah. And it also makes me feel better to say it even if you know it.

Mm-hmm.

What's the first thing you want to try that's totally new this year?

Uh, honestly, focusing more. I feel like all the time I'm talking to my friends all the time, and I'm like, so, and I'm goofing off, and I really want to focus on this year, like, like on classes and like learning new things, and like I'm going to make sure I'm like staying on top of everything. That's gonna be, I think, more of a challenge for me. And also something new would be like getting more into things and doing things before someone else does. Like when I'm like— this doesn't really relate to it— like when I'm like, "Oh, my friend's gonna invite me to something," like then invite them to something. Like invite more people to things and do things yourself and stop waiting for other people to do things for you.

I always, always tell kids, don't wait for an invitation, give the invitation.

Yeah. Yes.

Okay, so let's say we're in the future in 8th grade. Give your future 8th grade self some advice. Leave yourself Leave yourself with something that you want to say to yourself.

Please take time for yourself and don't let other people get to you. And take a minute to realize how much you've done. Like, these classes are not, not something people just do. It's like you have to work for it. So keep working and take a deep breath. And it'll all work out in the end.

Anything you want to say about your bat mitzvah or 8th grade before I let you go?

I think I've said everything.

So what I want to leave you with is that I know that I believe in you, but if you believe in yourself, then you can do absolutely anything. So please remember that, and I am beyond proud of your bat mitzvah and how you did the service so flawlessly. She had to learn so much Hebrew for that, and you had to write a speech that was beautiful, and you speak with such confidence and feeling. And then moving to the party, you did such a good job being such a good host and talking to so many people. As I look through the pictures, I got emotional because I saw you talking to so many people. You weren't— I mean, you did a good job with your friends, but I also saw you talking to a lot of our family and friends, old, you know, adult friends. And you really handled your bat mitzvah so well, and you did your candle lighting beautifully. You just did such a good job, and you tend to handle everything well. So just remember that. So as you start 8th grade, I have no doubt that you're going to be successful. And I am so excited to see how you grow this year. And I think the thing that helped me the most is that my mom was always there for me through everything. So just remember when you get stressed that you have a mother who is there for you and your father and lots of people are there for you through all of it, and you're not alone. And I know you're gonna be successful, and I'm very excited for 8th grade.

I want to say something real quick. Um, this was the thing I was trying to say earlier. Um, I also felt like really good, like hearing someone say that they're proud of me. So like, parents, if you're listening to this, even if your child hasn't done something like good, please go tell them you're proud of them because it means a lot.

And we— I think we don't say it enough, right? So maybe I need to say it more often because you don't know how proud of you I am because mostly you hear me say, be nice to your mother. And that doesn't make you feel so good. So before I let you go, Lily, what is a better thing for me to say instead of be nice to your mother?

Are you doing okay?

Ah, that was brilliant. Brilliant. Okay, well, I love you so much, and I appreciate your time and expertise today.

This is so fun. Thank you for having me.

This is Rebecca Green, and I want to remind everybody to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.