Episode 507: I'm in the Weeds and it's Okay

Why are you laughing at me? Because you're funny. Happy Winey Blues Wednesday!

Hello everyone.

Did I miss that part?

You did, you forgot.

Wearing my happy Lammikah sweatshirt.

Happy Lammikah, Hanukkah, Hanukkah.

I've got all these Hanukkah earrings I'm wearing this week.

Yes, I love your ears.

Happy Hanukkah.

Happy Hanukkah.

Happy night 4, everybody celebrating.

Happy night 4, we're going to kick somebody out the door.

Oh, that's a good title for, for tonight's post. Night number 4, we want to kick someone out the door and we want to bring someone through the door.

Yes, 48 hours.

In less than 48 hours, we're counting down 4 nights of Hanukkah and Max is still not home.

Not his fault.

I'm not upset with Max. I'm upset with Cornell.

All right, well then tell Cornell.

They're— all these kids are coming home and Cornell's still doing exams.

Those bastards.

He could have been done on Monday.

But he was not. He had exams.

No, he has one more exam that he's waiting for.

Right, tomorrow.

So Hanukkah What's our topic tonight? Our topic is that I'm in the weeds a little bit, and we're gonna talk about it.

Yes, all the weeds.

And so I want to tell you, Hanukkah started with Seth and Max away.

Yes.

Um, when he asked me if he could go away for one day, well, it was two nights of Hanukkah, two nights. It was 2 nights. Um, nice wife showed up.

I like that. To say that he could go, go on your work, work trip and make us money.

Um, there are different wives that show up on a regular basis.

I'm gonna write a post about the different wives.

There are lots of different wives. There's lots of different moods. Um, the nice wife tends to say yes.

Yep, I like her.

The tired, overwhelmed, exhausted wife tends to say no.

I like her too.

Oh, that's so sweet. You like all your wives?

All of them, all in the same body.

It's amazing, all the different wives. You all know what I'm talking about. I know that you know what I'm talking about. So anyways, Seth was away, Max is away. We now have Seth back. Now we need Max to come home.

Yep.

So I want to talk about being in the weeds. So I feel a little better after the podcast interview I did today. Alicia, thanks for making me feel so much better. Um, Alicia has not started shopping for Christmas. It is— what is it? It is December 17th.

Yeah, 7th, 17th.

And 17th, my beautiful, wonderful, smart podcast guest today said she didn't start shopping for Christmas yet, so I felt a little bit better. Okay, okay. But as I explained to her, you guys have X number of days until it starts.

Yes.

And ends on the same day.

Yes.

I have 8 nights.

Yes.

So, so my intentions— I'm going to tell you what my intentions are. Maybe one year I will achieve this goal.

Next year, baby.

I didn't—

here's the year. I'll be building here this year.

I didn't prioritize, so that's why this didn't get done. But I wanted to have everything bought and wrapped and be ready and not be wrapping every day for Hanukkah. But the problem is, when you go to order stuff, do you want to know what it says? It says that it will arrive in time for Christmas.

Yep, everything says that. Okay, but Jeff Bezos, you're discriminating.

What about the people who are celebrating right now?

Yes.

Why are you sending it to me for Christmas when Hanukkah's over? Sunday night's the last night. I'm not giving them presents on Monday. So I think some presents are arriving on Monday, so I'm a little aggravated.

Yeah.

So I finally sat down and spent an entire day wrapping, but the problem is that every day more gifts arrive.

So somebody ordered them.

So now I— well, it's not my fault, I ordered them a long time ago. So now I'm wrapping every day, every single day I'm wrapping. So Lily, so Lily, every day I'm wrapping. So Lily is like, why does Ella have so many more presents than me? Well, number one, kid, you ask for expensive stuff, so there's less of it. And number 2, I'm still waiting on her stuff. I still have like 1, 2, 3, 4 things. 4 things.

4!

And I think one of them was supposed to arrive today, so we need to check the porch.

Okay, I will do that.

So Lily, you still have 4 things coming. I'm waiting. And 2 of them are expensive, nice presents.

Anyways, moving right along.

Moving right along.

In the weeds. Here we go.

So I want to say we did FaceTime Max and Seth.

Yes.

For the first night of Hanukkah.

Yes, I participated.

And how cool was that?

That was pretty cool. And we FaceTimed me from the— I did the second night of Hanukkah via FaceTime from the Delta Lounge in Atlanta.

Oh yes, you were on your way home.

Yes.

Yes. So I stared at the couch for many, many days and I was like, you have to wrap Max's presents before Friday.

Yes, deadline.

So my deadline is Friday. So Max's presents were all over the place. How did I do tonight?

You did good. It looks like they're wrapped.

I feel as though— and every mother is going to relate to this— this is the time of year where I wake up and I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe what I have to get done. And I just work until 10 o'clock at night. So when I'm done with this, I'm gonna go finish wrapping Max's presents. If you didn't know that—

I didn't know that.

So why do I feel in the weeds? I'm gonna tell you what I have done to myself and what my children have done to me. They have added to my list: Lily would like Rice Krispie treats for school for Friday. She would also like presents for her teachers. Ella also said last night that she would like presents for her teachers. So now I need to go— oh, I do have to go out tomorrow. I was hoping to be home getting stuff done.

I could go pick up what you're gonna get. So I gotta stop, make an errand on my way home anyway.

I need to get presents. So I still have presents that I'm buying for teachers. For other people that I still need to buy for, and I decided I was gonna bake for people.

You did?

Yes. Why? Because I was going to—

you're being too nice—

I was gonna drop off our card with some fudge to all of our neighbors and some of our friends.

Oh my goodness.

So I was gonna try to bake.

Okay, you're gonna fit that in too?

And I— and And we're gonna sleep at some point. I ordered cards and I need to address all the cards tomorrow.

Yeah, we can't possibly mail merchant print labels. You're right, that would be impersonal. I say this every year.

I don't have a list ready for you to do that.

Yeah, we can't type that out. Definitely not.

It's faster for me to write it than for you to get involved.

It's faster for you to write it now, but it's not faster to build a system that then you don't have to do anything except hit print print next year. Just something to think about. I know it's a crazy idea.

So then you print labels?

Might work. I might— next year might be the year, people. Tune in next year and find out.

Okay, so if I spend tomorrow updating my list, then you hit a late— hit, hit your mail merge label?

Yeah, you— did we type them tomorrow? I'll print them on Friday at work.

No, I wanted to mail them tomorrow.

What happens if you mail them a day late? Okay, anyways, I could bring home label paper if you want and we could print them at home.

It's okay.

Okay, just write them and next year, next year we'll type it up.

So I was doing really well. I was doing really well until I realized I feel like I made more work for myself, which Seth and I are going to talk about more after I get off of this.

Yes.

And 8 nights is a lot.

It is.

I feel in the weeds every Hanukkah because it feels like so much. I mean, you guys get to do one day, one day, crazy day, but one day, right? But that's so— I mean, 8 nights is a lot of nights.

I thought you did something, I thought you had a brilliant idea yesterday about consolidating some stuff so that, that helped. That should help. It's still 8 nights, but It prevented it from being 11 nights.

So I was doing really well and I wasn't feeling like this because I was like, the only— Max changed me, okay? All the stuff that I'm wrapping, it used to be super important to me. I used to want to be super materialistic and want to buy them everything.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know that— I don't know that I, um, spent less.

Separate conversation.

We're gonna talk about that. But I feel less materialistic since he went away to school.

Oh yes, your priorities have shifted more, 100%.

Okay, so tell me what you're seeing.

All you care about is presence, not present with a plural. You just care about being us all together and having him be here.

All I care about is going to get my present. Yes, that's all I care about. Yes, I don't want anything. Ella's like, I promise you my gift is going to be ready tomorrow. I don't care. I think it's adorable that she's making me something. I don't need anything. I just want to go pick up my son. That's all I want for Hanukkah. And I have changed. I have changed as a person since he's gone away. Yeah, I have gotten so much less materialistic. And all this stuff that I'm talking about— the presents, the fudge, the cards— it's all stuff. I want to send cards out because it makes me feel like I'm sending a little hug to everybody. So I do. What do you think of me sending cards?

I love you sending cards.

You like me sending cards out?

Holiday cards.

So I do send out cards every year. Um, I love making the card and I love the idea of the card. I don't like addressing the cards.

There's an app so that we can talk next year.

So Seth is gonna fix this for me next year. So next year Hanukkah is November or December 4th.

Really? That's really early.

So when I'm done with this, I'm going to put an alert on my phone. I forgot to do that. I told Abba.

Nicole says, I 100% agree with you. Presence over presents. The perfect gift is our presence. Amen, Nicole.

But I used to want to get them all the expensive stuff, like toys and like everything they wanted. What is their list? Let's go buy them everything. And now I'm like, Nicole, now all I care about is seeing Max. Yeah, I mean, obviously Seth and, and Ella and Lily. No, it's not.

I get it. No, listen, I miss him too.

No, it's not all about Max. It's just, I'm just really excited to see him. Yes, my gift is— yes, Nicole, is your boy back yet? Tell us. All I want to do is go get him. And tell us about Hanukkah. Are you celebrating Hanukkah? Are you waiting until you're all together? So my plan was to wait until Max gets home.

Yes, to which— it was an either-or question, Nicole. Help me out here.

Okay, so yes, he's home, and yes, you're celebrating is my guess to what she's saying. Um, so I said to someone in front of Lily, I said, I'm gonna wait and we can do Hanukkah. We do not wait.

Okay, so maybe he's not home.

So still haven't solved the mystery. So when does he come home? So I was like, we're gonna wait for Max to celebrate Hanukkah. And Lily was like, what?

She was not having it.

And I was like, you know, that's not fair to Ella and Lily to miss out on 5 nights of Hanukkah, right? Because Max isn't here. Oh, Gavin's home. He's home. I'm so happy for you. I think everyone's home but my son.

That's right. There aren't 15,000 other people at Cornell and all the other schools that still have exams.

Yeah, but Cornell does everything late.

Okay, well, we'll have to yell at them.

They do exams late.

When I send in my next check, we can yell at them.

We're not going to yell at them.

You're right.

So continuing, I don't know, I lost my thought.

There's some notes right over there.

Okay, he wants me to go back to my notes. I don't really want to go back to my notes.

Oh God.

Anyways, I don't care. All the stuff that I used to care about like the gifts aren't showing up, whatever, they'll come when they come. I used to really stress about that.

Michelle says LOL, Seth Green. Thank you. LOL.

Not Michelle, Nicole. Nicole, where's Michelle coming from?

I'm sorry, I gotta put my glasses— okay, I got the wrong glasses.

Okay, the gifts still need to be wrapped. I'm gonna go finish that, but who cares. Um, some of the stuff doesn't fit and I'm like, whatever. We went— Ella and I went to the store to get her the right shoe size. Everything just feels less important this year. I think I'm just getting better priorities.

Yes.

Like, we don't need to stress about all these details. I'm literally gonna say to Max, and Seth, you can tell me if this is the wrong thing to say, I literally don't care what he— obviously I put my effort in.

Rebecca Green says Nicole.

Yes, she doesn't want to be called Michelle. Michelle isn't picky. Michelle isn't Details, details. I don't even know what I was saying. Help me.

Max doesn't care.

Oh, so I put effort into Max's presents. I did my best. I'm gonna— I don't care what he likes and what he doesn't like. I care that he's there to unwrap presents. I care that he's there to celebrate Hanukkah. I'm not stressing. If he doesn't want something, he doesn't want something. I'll return it as many stores as I have to go to to return stuff. I'll return stuff. And, um, I don't know, I just— I've got better priorities. I'm in the weeds, but I don't really care. And every year I stress, and every year it gets done. So let's not stress about it.

All right, would be excellent.

So I know I remember someone who shopped on Christmas Eve for Christmas. Does anybody do that? Waited until Christmas Eve to go buy all the presents for Christmas. Does anybody else do that?

That's crazy.

I don't know, but I, I have, I have a couple of things that I need to do different next year. I might have bought two of the same thing.

Yes, I remember we were— the next year is going to be the year that we start writing stuff down.

So, okay, so November 1st I will start buying presents so that my— I'm going to tell my kids they have to have their lists ready. That's part of the problem. Yeah, they have to. Well, and the other problem is they keep adding to their lists.

Yeah, you don't have to buy the additional stuff, you know. It's not a requirement. I know that's crazy.

I, I— trust me, I'm done, and it's almost over. So I'm gonna start buying gifts. I'm gonna take notes because what happens is I freak out because I don't remember what I ordered and I don't think I ordered enough, so then I order more and sometimes duplicates. And, and this year I ordered two of the same thing.

You liked it so much for them you bought it twice.

So I'm gonna take notes, I'm gonna keep track of how many gifts I buy, I'm gonna keep track of what I buy, I'm not gonna buy duplicates, I'm gonna give myself enough time so that hopefully it arrives by December 4th.

Well, if we're ordering in November, we should have no issues because people won't have even started shopping for Christmas by the time we're done.

What are we doing about Max?

I don't know, we'll figure that out next year. Maybe we'll drive up to Cornell.

So get ready for an earlier Hanukkah next year. But first, let's get through this Hanukkah.

Yes, let's be—

so we're halfway. Yes, I've got 4 more nights.

Yes.

And, um, anything that you've learned this year from Hanukkah?

I think you expressed it well.

We did not exchange gifts.

We did not. That college was—

I would say Cornell is our gift. I think Cornell is our gift for every holiday. We're just gonna say, um, they're gonna say, can we, can we? And we're gonna say Cornell. Cornell.

Yeah.

We're gonna twitch, twitch and say Cornell.

No, whatever you want. We spend it on corn.

We spent everything on Cornell. Lily's like, do you know how many vacations we could have gone on? I'm like, we're investing in his future.

Yes, yes, we're gonna keep telling ourselves that.

Oh my God. Okay, well, so anyways, I'm in the weeds and it's okay and it will all get done and I'm, and I'm just fine. I'm just fine over here.

Fine, fine.

I'm twitching a little bit. I was doing really well until about yesterday and I think Part of it is I get so exhausted. Oh, I know what part of the problem was. Yes, we went to bed at 1:30.

Yes, because I got home very late because our planes got delayed and stuff. Yes, you haven't caught up on sleep from that.

See, which makes me want to remind all of you to please get your sleep, because what mothers do is they stay up late wrapping, baking, addressing cards, cleaning, cooking, all the things. Go to sleep, go to sleep. It can wait until tomorrow. Yes, that's one of my favorite lines. There's two lines that I say to myself to cope. Line number one works like a charm: it's good enough. I say that all the time. Stop being a perfectionist. Come show me your pajamas. Ella got new teddy bear pajamas. Oh my God, I love them. Happy Hanukkah!

You got taller! She got taller. When did that happen?

I don't know, they just keep growing. I keep feeding them.

That's proper. Well, I told you to stop doing that.

Oh my God, what did I just say? Help me out.

She got her pajamas. Before the pajamas, um, your— the two lines that help you cope. Oh, thank you. And the second one is—

hold on. Tomorrow. It can wait till tomorrow. Those two lines really work for me.

Awesome.

So do you have any lines that work for you?

You mean when I'm watching you wrap all the presents? No, I, I, I did not have any lines prepared.

When you're at work.

Oh, at work. Yeah, I tell myself it'll all get done, it's okay, you're gonna— I breathe, relax, it's all, you know, it's all going to get done. It'll be okay.

And one more thing before I tell you about my podcast guest.

One more thing.

Somehow we're supposed to work when— while doing all the other things.

Yes.

And some of these people are working— well, you don't count because I'm taking care of it for you. You are. I'm talking about the people who have to do it, whether you're a mom or a dad.

Yeah.

If you're working full-time this week, I hope you can take some time off to get some stuff done. I was like, why did I schedule any work this week? I don't have time. But we make time, and I promise you it will all get done. And I promise you, you don't have to buy the perfect gift. It's all gonna be great. So this Friday, Dr. Gertrude Lyons Rewrite the Mother Code. Doesn't that sound cool?

It does. I want to know what the Mother Code is and why we're rewriting it. I'm hoping to find that out on the podcast.

You're like a walking commercial.

That is my job.

I think you should do commercials. I think people should hire you to do commercials.

All right, I will get a fifth job and I will do commercials in all your spare time. Yes.

I dropped off a beautiful gift for Kristen Colt, who won the December Mom Challenge. So if you go to the Winey Plousa Mom group on Facebook, it's free, supportive. Come find us and join us. I love our group. Do you ever look at what I'm posting?

And I do comment on your stuff, not every day, but I do.

No, I was just wondering if you're following along.

As much as I can in between other things. And, um, I also want to mention you can read this topic much better than I presented tonight at whinyapalooza.com, where you can also sign up for the free Whiny Palooza email newsletter 2-3 times a week, get awesome parenting and marriage tips. And please subscribe to that by entering your email address at whinyapalooza.com. And then please check out the Linktree, which is a list of all of Rebecca's content. Sign up for all of it and share it with the world so that we can help more Smart Moms.

Okay, but I was in the middle of a sentence, Mr. Advertisement. I wanted to tell them about Ella's Lessons for the Holiday. Oh yes, which was her blog for Teenage Tuesday yesterday.

Yes, it was.

So I hope that you like to read. They're not long. Neither of us— less than a page. Neither of us wrote long blogs this week. You're lucky you got anything from me this week.

Excellent point.

I don't know how I had any content this week because you're fabulous. Well, I'm living— yeah, going with the flow. Yeah, going with the flow. So Ella's blog is there, my blog is there, and you can read as much as you want. There's years of blogs, many, many years.

You could binge over the holiday. You could binge hundreds of blogs and be a Winey Palooza expert.

I think that more what moms have time for— what I want to tell you is what I did today is I got a ton of stuff done while I listened to stuff. So like I listened to a podcast, I listened to a book. So you can put my podcast on while you wrap. Oh no.

Or wrap presents.

Wrap presents. So enjoy the holidays, be present, enjoy your family. I know that family— I know that there's stressors. I hear about stressors every day from people. Try to enjoy it and go with the flow. Don't expect anything to be perfect. Doesn't need to be perfect to enjoy it. Nobody cares. Remember, nobody cares but you.

Yeah.

And, uh, we have— next Wednesday is Christmas Eve.

Yeah.

The following Wednesday is New Year's.

Yeah.

So you don't want us on Christmas and New Year's.

That's right. We're gonna see you in 2026.

Yeah. So go enjoy your family and your friends. Happy holidays and your holidays. And we appreciate you and thank you for joining us whenever you do. And we will see you in 2026. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.