Episode 514: Life Lessons from the Buffalo Bills

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday!

Happy Bill Palooza Wednesday!

Oh, you're changing it up, changing it up. How is everyone doing? Happy Wednesday, happy Wednesday! So this week my, um, world has a lot of bills in it right now. So my parents are always talking about the bills, my husband and my son are always talking about the Bills. So I sat down to write my blog and my mother was texting me about the Bills.

The Buffalo Bills football team, to be clear.

Okay, so everybody knows my brother and my father— I grew up in a house where my brother and father were, were and are obsessed with the Bills.

Lifelong season ticket holders.

And, um, you know, there was just lots of football in my house all the time growing up. And now my son is home from college right now, and him and my husband are talking about football frequently. I can't imagine— and my friend Megan is here who's a huge Bills fan. She has season tickets and loves them too, so hopefully she'll chime into this conversation. She also read my blog and commented, so thank you Megan. Um, if it has to do with the Bills Megan will, will be there. So anyways, I realized that, that the Bills— I've been with the Bills my whole life and they've taught me so many lessons, and I wanted to put it into words and share it with all of you. And, um, I want to see what you have to say. So if the Bills— if you have comments, chime in, chime in with comments and tell us what you think about the lessons that I've learned. But I think that the biggest lesson that I have learned that I started with in my blog, which you can find at whinypluza.com, is to never give up. I feel like Bills fans and Bills players never give up. Like, it doesn't matter what happened before. Like, they're gonna bring it and we're going to root them on. And I think that they've just taught me that you get back up. Yes, no matter how many times you get knocked down, right? It doesn't matter if someone knocks me over. I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna brush myself off, and I'm gonna keep going. And I think that they taught me that.

Awesome.

So I want to hear your thoughts too, and, and if they have taught you anything that I don't mention, feel free to share. Okay, okay. So one of the things that I have observed— I'm a human behavior expert, expert, and I observe— I can't turn it off. I observe human behavior every day of my life, and I have noticed very different sorts of people in relation to the Bills. And there are real true Bills fans, like they are diehards, and and you better not talk smack about their Bills. And if the Bills screw up, they might get upset. You know, friends get upset with each other, but they're loyal.

Yes.

And they're, and they're true Bills fans. And that taught me that we should look around our lives and who is there when we're down. Like, we don't have to be winners all the time. Even when the Bills are losers, their true fans are still— the Bills Mafia is something special. Everybody talks about the Bills Mafia. Um, so we want Bills Mafia in our own lives. So look around at who your mafia is. I like that, right? Like, who is by your side? Who's going to be there for you? And the Bills have quite the array of diehards.

Yes.

So they also taught me to believe. This is a huge Bills logo everywhere I go.

Yeah. Bill Eve.

Yes. Not losers, just lost a game. I love that reframe. They're never losers. They might lose a game, they're not losers, they're wonderful. We all love the Bills. So believe in them, believe in ourselves. Like, take it, your belief in the Bills. I mean, people really believe. Like, believe is all over the shirts and the hats, and it's like they have taken this to a new level, and I love it. I love the word, and I just want us to learn from How we feel about the bills, can you bring it to yourself too? You're gonna believe in them, can you believe in yourself? So let's just like, like generalize our skills to ourselves.

Yeah, don't let Josh Allen be the only one who puts on the Superman cape. You put that cape on every day of your life.

Well, and they believe in Josh Allen. I want them to believe in themselves.

Yes.

So, okay, so play through the pain and work through it. Okay, I'm gonna do it. I, I want to do a disclaimer. So this is inspired by the fact that the commentator was telling us that Josh was playing with a bad ankle.

Well, he actually had like 3 injuries.

Well, yeah, he always— they always have injuries. That's my point. They always have something going on with their body. I'm not, you know, I'm a mother. I don't want them to play hurt, but what's— it's a reality of the situation of the game and they're going to play through whatever pain they can, and they're going to work through it. And I think that we all can learn from that because we have pain every day with something, and do it anyway and work through it anyway, you know. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Feel the pain and do it anyway. So I do notice that they are pretty tough. Yes, yes. Okay, let's talk about the community, the community support. Okay, we're talking about the true fans. The whole community comes together. I mean, they, they show us what community looks like. And I interviewed an amazing expert today, and she was talking about her community, and she said, when I was feeling really burned out, I did not have a community. And she's like, it's essential to our mental health. And I think that they have their community. I mean, if you've seen a Bills game and you've seen all the fans, you know that they're surrounded by love. Well, we need to use our village just like the Bills use their village. I swear that the louder the fans are, the better that they play. So we need our fans to be loud and cheer us on and be our village. So please use your village and don't do things alone, because I think that the people who are the most depressed, the most anxious, the most burned out are not using their village. You agree?

Yeah. And they're focused on themselves, right? When you're nervous, get into service.

Oh, I love that. I forgot about that expression. So I have been taught that anxious and depressed people are, um, very—

what, inward?

Inward. Inward. I was looking for the word. And the more outward we are, out in the world focusing on other people, helping other people, the less anxious, the less depressed we are. Yep, so I agree with you. They give us hope. It's so funny, it does not matter what the last game was, the hope for a new game is unreal. The hope for another, a better play, like we could be in the game and there's been bad play after bad play, and the hope is amazing.

What I hear from the fans is like the true diehards who show up at games in the rain and snow no matter the record are the friends and family that are truly there for you in good times and bad, says Megan.

Amen, Megan. That's a really good point. Oh my God, the best is, you know, and you probably have all seen this, is when you see the fans show up and they're like shoveling their seat out. Yeah, the seat—

get to the stadium and help shovel it out.

Well, people show up early to shovel, but sometimes when they get there, yes, they still have to get to their seat. So that is a diehard showing up in the snow dressed for winter, or not. There's some that are not dressed for winter, or, or they're ripping off their shirts and they're— they have nothing on. Yeah, so anyways, the hope is unbelievable. So the hope that we feel for the Bills, can we bring it home?

Yes.

Can you bring the hope that you have for the Bills? I want you to turn around and bring it home to yourself. It's an experience. You, um, that's it, you're good. Okay, where did it go? Um, yeah, you have experienced some interesting games. Megan is a season ticket holder, and the stories I have heard from her— and it doesn't matter what the weather is, she's gonna show up. Yep, she's gonna show up. And my dad, who is a wonderful Bills fan, is sometimes like, I'm gonna watch it at home today.

You want to go to the blizzard games?

No, he does not. So I know, I realized that you took it down because there was a typo. No problem. She fixed my typo in my blog today that you missed and everybody else missed, but that's a whole nother conversation. They give us a reason to pause and sit. So we go, go, go all the time. I mean, what time is it?

9:16.

I don't think I've sat down yet today. So we're gonna finish this and I'm gonna go collapse on the couch and watch TV. Yes, I am overdue to collapse on the couch. So anyways, we go, go, go, go. And I— you know what I love? I love— and I don't know that I've communicated this to Seth, but I love on Sundays when it's a 1 o'clock game and Seth— you see Seth getting comfortable on the couch and he's just gonna sit there and watch the game. And I— that makes me happy. I want him— this man works too many hours. I want him to stop and pause and sit and relax and watch the Bills. They— everybody misses football Sundays when they're over. Yep. So I love that it gives us a reason to pause and sit. And I love whenever we find reasons to just relax. So thank you, Bills games, for giving— although it's not very relaxing, right?

But we are definitely sitting for 3 hours plus.

Yes. And I do try to sit with him and watch, but I appreciate that. It just depends on what's going on.

Yes.

I also love that they bring people together, and whether it's at the stadium or a bar or someone's house, or if you're at your own house by yourself, you're probably on the phone with someone, texting someone about the game, uh, you're probably screaming with your family. I mean, it brings people together.

It does.

And, and I think that's a really cool thing.

Yes.

The, the stadium— I am not at the games, okay? My parents will go, my friends will go, my brother will go. I'm at home but I can see the electric in the stadium.

Yes, the energy.

I mean, it is pretty freaking cool. They teach us how to handle adversity. I don't know that anyone is more resilient than a Buffalo Bill or a fan of the Buffalo Bills. Um, it doesn't matter if they win or lose, okay? We are proud of them no matter what. And Seth—

I don't know about that part. I may not be proud. I may still be resilient, but— sorry, go ahead.

I read that wrong.

Sean says, living across the country these past 30 years and living in Wisconsin with Packers fans, they are very similar to Bills diehard fans and how much it brings the community together when it is game days.

Oh, Sean, I love that so much that you have that. Now, are you still still a Bills fan is the question.

That's more important.

I would love to know the answer to that, but I love that you have that. Okay, so when the Bills lose, whether they win or lose, watch how they respond to the other team.

We've been through a lot. I'm always proud, says Megan. And Sean says, of course I'm still a Bills fan.

Okay, Sean, that's awesome. And Megan, you can stay on. Sean, excellent. He can stay on even if he's not a Bills fan. Oh my God, I can't believe that Corey Clark isn't here. Corey Corey, where are you? Corey and my brother is Corey. The Coreys are like the biggest Bills fans. Well, Megan is right up there with them. Okay, so anyways, how to handle adversity. What I mean by that too is that I'm proud of how they handle it. So if it's a really hard game and they win, they're humble about it. If it's a really hard game and they lose, They're not sore losers. So, I think that they have shown me how to respond to the adversity. Yes. I like how they deal with it.

Okay.

It's very rare that the temper tantrums or the way that things are being handled— when I get upset with how something is being handled, it's usually from the other team. I'm usually not upset with how the Bills are acting.

Sports Sean says, "The sports bar here puts on the Bills game on one TV for me when every other TV is on the Packers." Oh, Sean, that's awesome.

That is so awesome. Okay, so this is a great lesson for life. Are you ready for this? I never know what to expect. That's true.

What team are you going to show up? We're not sure.

Well, and it's not even that. That's one point. There's a minute left in the game. Oh, boy. I know that it could go either way. I know that anything can happen. So I'm along for the journey, people. We have to listen— listen to me— detach a little bit.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Just detach a little bit from the outcome. I know we want them to win every game. I know we want them to go to the Super Bowl, but let's just try to enjoy the journey a little bit more.

And to win the Super Bowl—

oh yes, we're gonna go win the Super Bowl. The Bills are gonna win. So I just never know what to expect, and I think that that's a great lesson for every day. We don't know what's going to be thrown our way. We don't know what to expect. The Bills have taught me this. Yes, this is a really good lesson that I have learned from the Bills. I think that's one of the best lessons I've learned. Yes, progress is not always straight.

Very true.

Okay, um, a couple steps forward, a couple steps back.

Sounds about right.

Are we gonna go forward this game? Are we gonna go back? Like, progress— just keep going, just keep swimming. Progress will happen if you keep going.

That's right, never give up.

Well, so, so the next lesson is show up. Show up. Just show up. If they're injured badly, they're not going to show up, but otherwise we know they're going to be there. We know they're going to show up. And, um, that's what it is. It's consistency. It's— we can hope for the best. We can hope for the best. I didn't know how this last game was gonna go. I was definitely nervous. And yeah, you just never know. I'm like, what are we gonna get? Are we gonna get very— what's tomorrow gonna look like? Is, is Buffalo gonna be depressed or is Buffalo gonna be celebrating? What is tomorrow gonna look like? My— I told my parents that we were going to celebrate our son's birthday on Saturday. So my mother's texting me and she's like, um, they announced that the Bills are playing on Saturday. I'm like, of course they are. And she's like, we have to find out what time. You cannot interfere with the Bills game, people. Yeah, we We cannot go out for dinner during a Bills game. Are you kidding me? They have a really good leader, and I think that leadership is so important. And they have shown me that a calm, steady, grounded leader is going to take you so much farther than a crazy leader, right?

Yes.

And I'm talking coaches, I'm talking Josh, like, be a calm, steady leader. There's going to be chaos, there's going to be situations, just lead them through. And that is something, as a mother, I know that my kids are going to follow what I'm doing. So if I can try to ground myself and be calm through the chaos, they're going to be calmer. And if I go crazy, they're gonna go crazier. So it's something that I have observed and I admire. And, um, I love how people celebrate the bills. Small wins, big wins, no matter what kind of wins it is, we celebrate along the way. And I think we need to take that home and we need to celebrate more of our small wins. And I think that none of us do that enough. I think that we celebrate big stuff, you know, like you guys just like went nuts for me. We never got a cake. We were supposed to get a cake for 500 episodes. You were? I was. Remember, we were gonna get a cake. I—

no, I did. Oh, I'm sorry, I was not in charge.

Yeah, no, you and I discussed getting a cake to celebrate.

Yes, and I said you should get what you want, and you did not get what I forgot.

I forgot. Anyways, we celebrated my 500 episodes, which is awesome. But how about if I celebrate that I had a great interview this morning?

Awesome.

Like, celebrate along the way. Don't wait for big things. So celebrate the Bills when they make a good play, and celebrate yourself when you make a good play.

Reagan says, I tried to celebrate with you.

Oh no, was this a I'm gonna take you out to dinner thing that I was like, you're not spending your money? I'm way too— I know, I know, we'll discuss that.

There was one that you didn't that I would like to add.

Yes, please.

The Bills have taught me about the need to make adjustments.

Ah!

So sometimes our game plan is not working, sometimes the other team has figured out how to stop us, sometimes the other team is doing better on their offense and we haven't figured out a way to stop them, and we need to be good about recognizing that and making adjustments in our own lives when something isn't going the way we wanted. So that we can tweak it, make adjustments, and get to where we want to go.

Yeah, I mean, the lady today was talking about evaluating your life. What's working? What's not working? What do you need to change? I love that lesson. I love that lesson. Megan, Sean, any lessons?

Anybody else watching?

Anybody else watching later, chime in. Tell us what lessons the bills have taught you about life. You can see that I have been surrounded by the Bills my whole life, so I have soaked it in and I've learned a lot along the way.

Yes, you have.

And what do you think about my lessons?

I'm impressed. Megan says, you just made me think of something, Seth. Sometimes you need a timeout to make adjustments. You are right, Megan. That's great.

So, time— take a timeout. Things are too stressful, take a timeout.

Gotta regroup and think about it.

Megan, that's such a good lesson. I actually thought about— oh, she loves the lessons! I actually thought about having Megan, my dad, and my brother read it and contribute before I published it because I figured that they had good lessons. Yeah, that they have learned from the bills. I mean, it's just amazing to me You know, last year I remember when the Bills were done and my feed on social media was flooded with love and support, like, thank you for the season, we'll all be back next year. Just like the love and support poured out to them when the season was over, and I just feel like they're surrounded by so much love.

Yes.

So we will see what happens on Saturday. We are not going out to dinner. We will be home watching the Bills game.

Yeah.

And, um, this was a fun one to write and discuss. I had a feeling Seth might like this one.

I do.

I think that your response to me was, what a good idea.

Yes, love it.

Loyalty is a big lesson for me. Yes. And As I was writing it, as she knows because she read it, I was thinking that the true blue Bills fans are just like amazing. The Bills Mafia.

Yes.

They've gotten their label and I think it's amazing. I will say that we don't compare to my dad and my brother and Megan, but we're definite fans. Yes. So I do want to tell you that, um, the January challenge in my Whiny Pleasant Mom Facebook group was a lot of fun. You can come join me for free. It's a supportive community. And Joanne was the winner of the challenge, so I need to send Joanne her prize. That's on my list to do. And, um, this Friday— so this was just remarkable to me. My kids me do— they've seen me, they've seen me in quotes, they haven't seen all of them. They've seen me do 520 episodes, okay? And Lily came to me and said, Mom, I have a really good idea of what I want you to interview me about. And of course, how do I say no to that? If my kids— first of all, they were home for 2 weeks, so I told my son He had to do a podcast about college, which was a great episode. Everybody seems to love that episode, so if you haven't listened to it, go find Max. He did a great job. And, um, I told— and Lily told me she wanted to do an episode, and I said to Ella, well, you're home for 2 weeks, you should do an episode too. And she said, Mom, I'm holding off for my birthday. So I didn't make her do one. So Ella will be in March And this Friday is Lily, and she wanted to talk about giving herself a hard time. Now, we were just working on her 9th grade schedule. She is freaking going to high school, people. The baby is going to high school.

Yeah.

How did we get here? We were working on her schedule, and I was like, nope, I'm drawing a line. You're not adding anything else. And Seth is like, she's a green kid. So, so I guess Seth and I, uh, produced, um, very hard-working children.

Yes.

So please listen to Lily. I think that you're going to love it. She can't— Megan can't handle her growing up. She's the baby. I don't know that the baby can go to high school.

Oh, I don't know that we have a choice.

So we've got one who's, who's, uh, gonna be a senior next year and one who's going to high school next year. Bring wine. So, so what else do we want to tell them, honey?

Uh, go to winingbalooza.com, sign up for the free email newsletter, and check out the Linktree with all of Rebecca Greene's amazing resources. And please like it, comment, share, subscribe, all of the things so that the algorithms keep showing it to more and more moms. Rebecca's podcast on iTunes is blowing up. She was super— she is soaring up the parenting podcast charts, uh, and getting lots of downloads. So thank you for sharing it, and please keep doing that.

Yes, we appreciate it so much. And, and share this with a Bills fan. I'm sure that someone would enjoy listening to this. And we will be back next week and we will know if they won or lost. Won or lost? Why does that sound funny when I'm saying it? I don't know. They're gonna win. They're gonna win. And we will be back next week with a new topic. So thank you for joining us and have a wonderful week.

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday.

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