Managing Holiday Stress

Oh boy. Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday! No need to whine, it's Winey Palooza Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family.

Cha-cha chicken!

Thanks, baby. Careful. How is everyone doing today? How was your week? How was your Wednesday? How was your holiday shopping?

Holiday shopping? It's too early. We haven't even had Thanksgiving yet.

Well, so it's interesting because the girls were in the car, they were like, why is everyone talking about the holidays when it's Thanksgiving time? And I was like, well, Hanukkah starts the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

Pom pom pom.

So what that means is I was like, you need to start shopping super early. I'm talking, I should have started in September, but I started in October. So it's pretty good.

It's better than going on Black Friday into the crazy malls and saying, pick out your presents, kids, there you go.

Oh, you know what you're reminding me of? You're reminding me that a lot of people go shopping on Black Friday and do all their holiday shopping.

Right, but theoretically that assumes their holiday is like 30 days later, not 48 hours later.

That's true, that's true. And hi Kristen!

Kristen is here.

Kristen's here. So as I began my holiday shopping and my brain went— I was like, okay, this is a no-brainer on the topic. Uh, I decided to do managing holiday stress, and I hope that this will be helpful to you. A lot of you listening have more time than I do. I do not have a lot of time. I have been shopping away amongst— what's funny is, you will understand this. Go ahead, honey.

You are frozen on screen, but I can hear you. Um, I think that's on your end. I'm watching us on Facebook and we are moving.

Okay, Kristen, let us know if we come back. I'm glad you can at least hear me. Um, that means you're not going to see my beautiful earrings that I'm about to show you. Um, speaking of Hanukkah, my friend Tayton got me the most perfect sparkly menorah earrings. Can you see them? I hope Kristen can see them. I hope all of you can see them. But they're sparkly, and you're gonna see me wear these for the next, um, few weeks, at least month. I'll probably wear these for the next month because they're absolutely perfect. So thank you, Tayton. I love sparkly jewelry. Um, so anyways, I know that some of you have traditions. I remember a family, they all went out shopping on Christmas Eve to get everyone presents for Christmas Day, and that would stress the heck out of me. Okay, I'm glad it's fixed, Kristen. And I am not that person. I am that person who does not want to do last minute shopping, so So my first tip to all of you, and please share your tips with us as you listen to this. I would love to listen. If you're listening, if you're watching, let us know your tips. I love hearing from you. Let us know your challenges. So tip number 1, if you haven't started shopping, I would start now. And I did start in October. Part of the push to start was that I ordered my brother a present in September for his birthday in September. I thought 10 days was enough time. I was clearly wrong. He still does not have his birthday present.

A month later.

So Corey, if you watch this, please know how sorry I am. I will, I will bring you presents. However, your present will arrive at some point. It'll be a, it'll be a Hanukkah gift.

Or a Christmas gift at this point.

Oh my gosh. Okay, so tip number 2, Amazon is not necessarily delivering in 24, 48 hours. Tip number 2 is to be planful. And what I mean by that is I literally sat down and looked at my week, and I know that my anxiety is rising because I want to get all my shopping done. And I'm like, okay, when do you have time to shop? Who are you shopping for? And go over your list with your spouse and your family because—

You made a list? I am so impressed with you.

I did, but I didn't do this next piece of advice, and I need to go over the list with you. If a store opens early, go when it opens if you can. The stores have been very busy. That is excellent advice. That is part— Kristen, that is such good advice, and that's part of why I'm going like today. Because I would rather shop on Wednesday morning than on Saturday morning. So I'm trying to avoid weekend shopping. Now mind you, I— what I was going to tell you earlier is we have very full lives. My days were full before the holiday shopping. So we all have work we have to get done. We have to take care of our homes. We have jobs. We have kids. I understand that our lives are full. I am doing less probably of other stuff to make time for shopping because I want to prioritize going during the week when it's less busy.

Although we thought things would be less busy the other day and tried to have a lunch date and found it was absolutely jammed.

I— Seth took me out for lunch on Tuesday. We had a date yesterday. Oh, it was yesterday. And we went on a date and I was like, the restaurants aren't going to be busy on a Tuesday.

Lunch. What are all these people doing here?

Um, the restaurants are busy all the time. So anyways, my— I said make a list, be planful of when you're going to shop, make a list of who you're shopping for. And I'm even thinking a step further of what stores do I want to go to for each person.

Planning your attack.

I'm planning my attack, but I have not done my next piece of advice. I have to go over this list with Seth. And I need to go over this list with my kids. Like, what teachers do they want to give gifts to? Max and Ella have a bazillion teachers, and, um, we can't give to everybody.

We're not buying for—

we're not buying for our bazillion teachers. But as I was doing the list and I was like, who would Seth tell me that I'm forgetting? I was like, oh my God, I have to buy for his whole staff.

Well, you are the designated shopper.

I was like, oh my God, Seth is going to want me to buy for his whole staff, so I better— I added that to my list. I— and I need to start talking to him about that. Okay, which brings me to delegate. Delegate when you can. Let's see what Miss Emma has. Hi, Emma!

Emma says, list, research, be early, especially with international shipping. Yeah, I would imagine if Amazon Prime can't even get there in 2 days, Etsy is going to take forever.

Well, and I was talking to my friend today about needing gifts for like next week, and she said If you can't get it in the store, just use Amazon, 'cause at least Amazon is quicker than a lot of these other places. And I would just say use places that you know aren't gonna take forever. I am trying to avoid websites that I don't normally use because I don't know how long they're gonna take. And as much as I love Etsy, there are comments, like you can comment on your order. I would tell them when you need it by. Because they can take forever too. Although I love Etsy, I love homemade gifts. So I want to talk about delegating because let's talk, let's say like the men in our family. I will say to Seth, like, what do you think my brother would like? What do you think your brother would like? What do you think your father would like? The women are easy for me. I could shop for the women all day and buy them lots of Good stuff. The men are a little trickier. And hi, Melissa, happy Wednesday. So delegate. And technology stresses me out. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not— this whole vlog that we're doing right now, I may have prepped the content, but Seth is the producer and he set up all the technology. I don't want to learn it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but technology stresses me out. It is something that I need to force myself and push myself out of my comfort zone. Yes. Um, I think that even like doing a podcast and doing a vlog is pushing me out of my—

it is.

I remember when he tried to teach me how to do the podcast and I was like, I can't do this by myself. And he was like, yes you can.

I stayed home for the first one and then you realized that you could do it.

Yes.

I told you what buttons to push.

Yes, you taught me how to do it. So my point is, when our kids ask for technological gifts, when our nephews ask for technological gifts, I say, honey, this is your department. And he's already ordered Mac stuff.

Yes, Max is all me.

So I used to think that I had to do 100% of the shopping, and then I realized, you know what, Seth is home at night with me and I can discuss things with me, and he can also push order just as well as I can. And I can make sure that it's the right technological stuff.

You have this theory that technology likes me better, so sometimes my order button works better than yours.

That is true. I think it's all energy. I was thinking about that today. It's all energy. What are you putting out to the universe?

Well, if you're going, I hate this stupid computer and this darn internet, it's not gonna like you very much.

I am saying I don't like technology, then technology doesn't like me. If I am saying I'm healthy, then I'm more likely to be healthy.

Yes.

I think that we are putting out energy to the universe. I believe in that stuff.

Yes. And Tina Ferber and Christina Wilimsky say hi.

Hi, hi everyone. Happy shopping, happy holidays. Ask for lists. You might not— you might be one of those people who wants to surprise everyone. I have encountered both types of people. I have some people in my life who give me a list and they tell me what they want, and that works. That, that makes my life easier. I have some people— go ahead, honey.

What's gonna wait for you?

Um, I have some people who want to be surprised. My nephew told my mother he has no idea what he wants and he wants to be surprised. So for me personally, if you're listening and you're one of my friends and you know I'm gonna buy you a gift, you're welcome to tell me suggestions. I love to make people happy. I will tell you that my son has a very specific list.

Yep, I've already exchanged stuff because I guessed wrong.

Uh, well, we cannot guess with him. He knows exactly. I'm not going to be specific because I don't want to give anything away in case little ears upstairs are listening.

His ears are bigger than your ears.

I think his ears are bigger than my ears.

So little anymore.

But, um, he has a very specific list. He does not want surprises. He knows what he wants. What is Melissa saying?

I appreciate technology, but it's not my favorite thing.

Oh, you know, I think it was your vlog Melissa, I think you were live and I think you were talking about how you had all the technology going. And I want you to know I was so impressed with you. And I was like, oh my God, did she set all of this up?

Yeah, I set up all her stuff.

She doesn't do that. I walk in the room and say, okay, honey, we can go live.

It's all set up for you.

Okay, so Seth is gonna totally laugh at me when I say this, and he's going to throw me under the bus, which I deserve.

Oh, you're getting some hearts and likes for that, for what's coming, whatever it is.

Um, have a budget. Have, have—

if only you people knew the irony of her telling you this.

Well, there's lots of reasons.

Of the years I tried to get her to do this and she refused.

There's lots of reasons for me saying this.

Lisa Danielle says hi.

Hello! Hi, Lisa. So, um, so one year now. I don't know if Seth just like totally doesn't know his wife sometimes. Sometimes I'm floored by him. 17 years, people.

Sounds like you're throwing me under the bus.

So, okay, so he made a spreadsheet, and you're all gonna clap.

I did.

You're all gonna clap. You're gonna say, go Seth, you're awesome! Seth loves Give me some hearts for that. Seth loves a good spreadsheet.

We're brand watching. Where's Laura?

Laura loves spreadsheets. Um, spreadsheets ease her mind. For me, spreadsheets cause me anxiety. I do spreadsheets when I have to do spreadsheets. I don't like spreadsheets. Thank you for the claps, Seth. Kristen likes organization. I— Kristen likes what Seth does.

Yeah.

So I'm much more spontaneous.

Yes, the credit card statements reflect that.

So Seth had a spreadsheet that he showed me, yeah, and he had every single person we were buying for, yeah, and it said how much we were spending on each person. And when I looked at what—

did not go over very well.

When I looked at what he thought that we were buying for our children, I was like, do you know your budget is like one present?

My budget, to be fair to my wonderful wife, the budget might have been a little bit more— I thought I was being generous— than what my parents had allocated as my budget when I was a kid. It did go up a little bit with inflation, but I mean, that wouldn't even have been one present for Max based on some of the stuff that he wants.

If you saw, my son is expensive. Go ahead, honey.

Melissa says, you know I have Christmas planning pages, right? Keeps the list, budgets, and receipts all happy. How have I now— how have I not already sent this to you, Melissa? You can send that to me. I will happily sign up for that.

That goes to Seth. Um, you know, Hanukkah is like next week.

Ages, Melissa, you and I are going to—

Melissa, so close. Yes, Melissa and Seth are much more similar than Melissa and I. And Hanukkah is like next week, so I'm probably almost done shopping. But I will say that I spend too much money and I don't want— like, how do I put this? I'm looking for words. I am also now contributing.

Okay, yes, you are now generating income for the household.

I felt— it's not like I don't— I don't want to overspend. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is when I wasn't making money, yes, I felt guilty.

Yes, you did.

Overspending.

Yes.

And I feel a little bit less guilty.

Really well. You should feel—

because I feel like I want my money. I don't want to spend all my money, but I want to spend my money on my children.

Lots of hearts for that one. This is chain of hearts.

So, you know, I don't want you to feel like you have to compete with people. I have friends who like the whole room is full for Christmas. And like, I like to give— Seth laughs at me, but I like to give my kids gifts all 8 nights. And now every single gift is not from me. Like the grandparents will send gifts, the uncles will send gifts. I probably do buy each kid 8 gifts.

You buy more than that.

So I, I mean, don't go— because think about how many gifts you give for one Christmas Day. I mean, I know there's Christmas Eve gifts too, but we don't need to compete with anybody. It doesn't matter that Joe Schmo can afford to buy their kid a car for Christmas.

I'd like to hang out with Joe Schmo.

I'm just saying that it's about what your family can afford. What can you do? Don't put your family in debt over presents.

Right.

Your kids need to understand money and what you can actually afford. Like, Max has no idea what Seth and I make, which is probably some of his stress, right?

Because he's like, I feel bad because you're, you're getting me all this stuff and I'm asking for all this stuff and it's a lot of money and you guys got other stuff this year. And I was like, that's really thoughtful of you.

It is. Do you know how many times I've heard, you know, you bought a hot tub?

Yes, we've— yes, you bought a hot tub and a couch this year. You guys are good.

You bought yourself a new couch and a new hot tub. Hub mom.

Yeah, don't buy me much.

Well, it's for you too.

No, yes, but I know he's saying don't buy him that much.

He's saying don't buy him much, but you should see what's on his list, right? Oh, and he wants his whole room redone, which he totally deserves.

He is right.

He is about to be 15, and a 6-year-old picked out that pink color, right?

And the truck blanket that he's I know.

Do you see what Kristen said?

That is very mature of Max. So sweet. Yes, it is. I have to work on him to be less worried about money.

He needs to— one of my goals is for Seth and Max to communicate better about money because I would like Max to know that his family is okay.

Yes, right? We're more than okay.

I think he's kind of clueless.

Yeah, I'll totally—

you'll totally— you agree with that?

Yes. Melissa says, LMAO, are you going to put a bow on the hot tub for holiday present opening? Yes. We are.

Well, so I want you to know, Melissa, that Seth said to me the other day, um, I bought you a little something, you can buy me a little something. And I was like shocked because, well, wait, I know it was only like a little present, right?

Very tiny.

But I didn't expect anything because we bought the hot tub, right?

Which technically covered us for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, for years to come.

I, I think you're exaggerating.

I saw the price— I know what I paid for it!

We didn't agree to those terms. Yes we did! No, I think I gave you Hanukkah?

No no no no that's not your normal gift budget. Your gift budget isn't 10% of that.

And our— I gave you our anniversary and Hanukkah!

You gave— It's more than two things woman!

Do you think this is gonna count for my birthday too?!

You could buy a car for that!

Oh maybe I'll get a new car!

No no no that is not what I said! You are totally distorting anything what you want! Can we move on?! I don't know, can you?

I'm gonna move on to sleep.

So I'm gonna need some right now.

So I know my friends, I have talked to many women who already stay up late to get stuff done, stay up late past when they should be going to bed.

I specifically remember her giving you those two things, not the birthday too. Melissa, you're, you're not— you're dead to me now. We were getting along so well with the planning pages and now you ruined it.

Thank you.

No, I've been— you're just siding with her. That's not actually what I said. I never would have said this counts for 2 presents.

We're gonna discuss— we're gonna discuss this later.

I think they want to hear you this week.

So sleep, sleep. Okay, so I know women who are going to bed way too late as it is, and let's add in holiday shopping and holiday wrapping and holiday baking, holiday financing and holiday relatives. Yes, but You have to get sleep. You have to take care of yourself. If you don't get any sleep, you will drag yourself through your work day. You will drag yourself through your day. You won't get as much done as you could have gotten done had you slept. So this is to the women who I know who don't get enough sleep, and I'm putting in a plug for more sleep.

All right, this episode sponsored by Sleep Sauna, all-natural sleep supplement.

Moving into healthy habits. Because I think that a lot of us throw our healthy habits out the window when we see all the sweets. And I know—

start the diet after New Year's.

And for me, um, I'm doing so good and I'm on such a good healthy eating roll that I don't want to throw away my healthy habits. Like, that's going to stress me out. So how we can manage our holiday stress is by eating is by Shor. I'm not going to tell you we're not going to have a cookie, or we're not going to—

Christmas cookies.

I, I do like Christmas cookies. Are you going to bring this up every week, uh, till New Year's?

Yeah, probably.

What is— oh, Melissa agrees. Melissa agrees. So we're going to get more stressed out during the holidays if we're going backwards with our habits. So drink the water, Don't drink a ton. Don't drink a ton. Don't drink a ton of alcohol with tons of calories. Don't waste your calories. That I know, save them for chocolate. Some of you would rather spend your calories on alcohol. I'm gonna save my calories for a piece of chocolate. So I will have priorities. I will have the cookie. I will have the piece of chocolate, but I'm going to continue my healthy habits, and that's going to help me feel less stressed.

Yes, that's awesome.

You, you agree with that?

100%.

I asked myself the other day, I was like spiraling. I get in these places, and Seth is like, do you want to feel that way? And I get in these spiral overwhelm spirals. This is when I'm not being planful and I'm not like list making and planning out my day, not using your planning pages. I'm not, I'm not using my brain. I'm just like Reacting, and I was like, I don't want— like, what do we want the holidays look to look like? What do we want shopping to look like? I want to enjoy myself. I was out shopping today, um, among a bunch of other stuff, and I was like, this is fun. Like, I want to enjoy this. I'm buying gifts for people. I love buying gifts. I love giving to people. Let's enjoy this. Let's have a good experience. We have to do it anyway. So instead of like feeling negative the whole time and stressed, I want to feel happy and I want to enjoy myself. So this was a conversation—

it's an excellent point, not just about shopping but life. Well, it's gonna happen anyway. How do you want to go through the process, right?

Because I was thinking about like, there's, there's, um, Woman A shopping and having a blast and enjoying herself, and there's Woman B who's all stressed out and cranky. And which woman do you want to be? I want to be happy and enjoy myself. So it was just a conversation that I had with myself the other day because I was feeling so overwhelmed and I was like, I don't want to feel this way.

Good for you.

Okay, which leads me to the last tip. Do you need sleep, honey? We get up so early. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I try so hard to sleep in the morning. What What challenges are you having? Because if we address, if we identify what is stressing us out, we can solve the problem. Um, is your attitude stressing you out? Is money stressing you out? Is time stressing you out? I'm sure that there's tons of mothers who are going to tell me, I have no time to shop. So if you are one of those people that says, I don't have time to shop, then my advice is every night, spend 15 minutes ordering a present. And if you order a present every single night, you'll get it done.

That's a good idea, break it up into small manageable chunks. Melissa says, then there is the woman, me, that keeps wine in the travel coffee cup while shopping. That is also a different coping strategy.

Oh my God, Melissa, that is hysterical.

Drink it while you're driving around though. Just a thought.

She can have a sip. She can have a sip.

Well, the sips can take the holiday shopping edge off, but—

Oh my God, that's hysterical. So we have to find a way to manage our stress because we don't want the holidays to be extremely stressful. And I know some—

more stressful than required.

Some women are like, I love this time of year, this is so much fun, and they're bringing out the decorations and they're drinking eggnog and they're watching Hallmark movies and wrapping gifts.

A lot like you. Hallmark movies, I think.

You stop it.

7 Days of Christmas movies. Um, I hope Candace Cameron falls in love and avoids a murder. That's all I can say.

Oh my God, are you telling me you don't like any of my Hallmark movies?

That's a whole nother episode.

Okay, so I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear What's your favorite homework? Did you, did you like any of these tips? Do you have any tips for us? What challenges are you experiencing?

Kristen says, I think we can plan as much as we want. There will be hiccups and we will always need to go with the flow. Yes. And have a sip of the wine in Melissa's Travel Coffee Cup.

That is excellent advice. And we, back in, back in the world of MST, which is Multisystemic Therapy, We totally planned and predicted for hiccups. Okay, we would say this is what we think is going to be a hiccup, and we would be like, when this happens, this is what we're going to do to deal with it. And like Kristen said, sometimes hiccups that you don't even know are going to happen show up, and then we sit back and evaluate how are we going to handle this hiccup and how can we get through this. Yes, I love when things go smoothly. I love when I can plan everything out and it goes as planned. But we all know it gets in the way. We all know that my plans don't always go as I would like them to go.

Emma says coupon saves money.

Oh, um, yeah, I learned some stuff about Target today, like how much you can spend there. I learned how to save more money there that I probably should have been doing for years. I am—

better late than never.

They have Hallmark Movie Monopoly. That's hysterical.

You have to get that for her.

No, do not.

I bet you I know all the movies on there. Candace Cameron, We'll Find the Guy.

I don't even think I've watched a Hallmark movie yet. I don't even think I've watched one.

That's because you've been caught up in the Housewives.

I just watched one episode of The Housewives.

Oh, that was— no, before that, do you have Vanderpump and the other Housewives? This is a new Housewives show. There is a new Housewives show if you watch a whole bunch of different Housewives from different shows and send them to a tropical island so they fight there.

Okay, okay, I know Seth. Seth is funny. Are you gonna tell them about these sneakers?

Oh yes, we have an awesome new sponsor. This is— these beautiful, beautiful sneakers are from roebucksfootwear.com. Make sure— they have all kinds, they have like 20 different models and styles and colors. They have— they are super cool. They have all kinds of different designs. Check them out at roebucksfootwear.com.

So Lily is like, Mom, I love these sneakers, I want a pair!

We don't have kid sizes yet, but they're working on it.

So Seth is like, well, you need kid sizes so that the mother and the daughter can match.

I've I brought that up on my meeting with them today. They, they thought that was a great idea. They were talking to their manufacturer.

Gosh. So this Friday is a very cool podcast. Um, I'm gonna butcher his name. You're gonna help me with this, Jock?

Uh, yeah, I can't pronounce his last name. He's a professional soccer player who is now a soccer coach. And what did you talk about?

Is Melissa's link correct, Seth?

Robux? No, Rovux. R-O-V-U-X. We'll put a— I'll type a link right now.

Thank you, Melissa.

I'll go post it.

So I have a professional soccer player and coach on the podcast on Friday, and if you know my family, you know Max plays soccer, so you know this was near and dear to my heart. And this is not just for soccer players. This is for parents of athletes. This is— he has tips for every single parent.

I think any of us can benefit, whether you were coaching kids or had kids in sports or not.

I was so impressed with him. He knows so much, and I wish I had talked to him. You know, Max has been playing soccer for 10 years, so I wish I would have talked to him 10 years ago.

11.

11. Sorry. Okay, 11. 11 years. Wow. So anyways, I think you're gonna love the podcast on Friday, and we need Ella.

Hey Ella, you're up.

So enjoy the holiday season.

We'll be talking to you every week throughout it. Keep us posted.

Enjoy the holidays.

Robuxfootwear.com.

Have, have fun getting your presents and wrapping your gifts and baking. And I know I'm early for the Christmas people, but the Hanukkah people are gearing up. Ah, thank you for watching Winnie Blues on Wednesday with the Greene family.

Cha-cha chicken.

Thanks, Ella.