The Festival of Covid Tests

Okay. Yep. Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday! No need to whine, it's Winey Palooza Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Green Family.

Cha-cha chicken!

It's my girl. I love you. I love you. I appreciate you. Will you stay close? Yeah, I'll just be in the kitchen. Okay. Hello everybody. How's everyone's day? We had quite the week over here in the greenhouse.

The festival of COVID tests.

I was telling Seth that I was gonna write about our Hanukkah and the COVID tests.

And he said it was the festival of COVID tests instead of the festival of light.

And he made me laugh.

We didn't have 8 of them though. We all— that was good.

Oh my God, thank God we had two. We started Hanukkah. The topic this week is the festival of COVID tests. And we started Hanukkah with— we came home from Virginia, jumped into Hanukkah, and Max woke up the next day telling us that he didn't feel well. I don't know if it was Monday or Tuesday or whatever, but he was like, I don't feel well and I don't want to go to school. And I was like every other mother. Most of you can probably relate to me, but when my kids have any symptom of anything, of anything, I'm like, oh no, what if it's COVID?

This is our downward spiral. This is our pattern. Hey, we just learned about this in Tony Robbins' Pattern Recognition. We have recognized a pattern of what if it's COVID? I have a hangnail. What if it's COVID?

Dude, that's what the whole topic is about. You're acting like you didn't read it.

I'm not. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm your hype man here.

I'm, I'm okay. Well, Seth is home this week watching Tony Robbins, so Tony is living in our house this week.

Yes.

Um, so that has been interesting. Um, and anyway, so Max says, so I'm noticing this negative pattern that whenever my kids have a symptom, I freak out.

Yes.

So Max comes downstairs, says he doesn't feel well, says he doesn't want to go to school. I freak out. Um, I don't even say, I'm so sorry that you don't feel well, or how do you not feel well, what is, what is going on? Um, so anyways, I called him in sick. When you call your kid in sick, yep, you have to go get a COVID test no matter what. I have had mothers say, then don't call them in sick. I have had mothers say, I don't test my kid. I understand. There's like so much like control around it. I understand these mothers who are telling me that, but we have 6 grandparents who live right near us, and out of responsibility to them and to everyone else and respecting their wishes and paranoia a little bit— well, I understand though. If I was 70-something, I might say I didn't understand. I might feel how they feel too. So anyways, I did test him. He did test negative. I did stress myself totally out for nothing, and we continued with Hanukkah.

Yes.

And it was lovely.

Yes.

And it was crazy.

Yes.

And all the activities went—

nobody stopped.

It's like nothing stops for Hanukkah. And I want to make a plea to teachers. Teachers, can we not do homework?

Um, oh my goodness.

Are you gonna read it?

Sure. Yoko says COVID-19 PCR test are meaningless. Though the whole world relies on PCR, RT-PCR to diagnose, the science is clear they are not fit for this purpose. That's a whole nother conversation.

Yeah, I know there's so much controversy. I hear ya. It's, it's a stressful time. It's definitely a stressful time. So my plea to teachers is, and I will get on with the COVID tests, during Hanukkah, if we could not have homework, that would help me out because we had, you know, dinner and activities and homework. And then let's do some Hanukkah. So before we— it was, it was not— it was fun. Yes, we made the most of it.

Yes, not easy.

It, it, it fell during all the chaos, but, um, we did it. And I would love things to be paused, but they weren't. And then we end Hanukkah after all those nights, you know, and we're all getting like tired, at least I'm getting tired. The last day, Ella pukes. And if you know Ella, some of you do who are going to watch this, puking is not out of the question for her. She randomly pukes. I don't know if you have any of your kids do this, but if she's exhausted, she might puke. If she's overwhelmed, she might puke. So I was like, I didn't go straight to my paranoia place right away.

You were better with her.

I didn't go there right away. I was like, ah, Ella pukes, right?

That's kind of normal.

That's kind of normal. We'll go on with our day. But she didn't— she ended up not feeling the best, and then the next day really didn't feel well. So she did catch a stomach bug, and we did have— and we did— and I did call her in sick, and I did have to take her to get another COVID test. What, what is the next comment?

We're gonna leave that one.

Okay.

We'll come back, we'll come back, we'll come back to the comment.

Yeah, so we started Hanukkah out with a COVID test, we ended Hanukkah out with a COVID test, and I noticed a pattern. And I did apologize to Max, which I will talk about, that my kids tell me I'm stuffy, they tell me that their stomach hurts, they tell me any sort of symptom. Are you doing this too, or is it just me? Are you going Oh my God, what if it's COVID? So I realized that I was having this negative pattern. And I get in the car with Max and he's like, this needs to change. Like, you're freak— like, I don't want to tell you anything that's wrong with me because you freak out anytime anything is wrong with me. And I'm like, I was gonna get in the car and apologize to you. I was thinking the same thing. This is not working for any of us. I'm driving all of us crazy whenever anyone has a symptom. I need to stop the madness.

That is impressive awareness.

Oh my gosh, I don't like panicking every time something's wrong with one of us. It's like, is really every single symptom COVID? And I emailed the school nurse, she was lovely. And I said, you know, here's his negative test. And Am I gonna have to test my kids for every single symptom? Like, is that what we're doing? Because this is, this is a little crazy. And she was so sweet and she said, you know, just talk to your doctor, see what your doctor thinks. Maybe your doctor thinks it isn't COVID and that's okay. So there are, there are ways to maybe not get a COVID test, but I just don't like that everything is COVID right now. I don't like that any single symptom— so I did have one school nurse say, well, go look under the symptoms and see if it's one of the symptoms, and then you know if you need a COVID test. And I said, well, first of all, the symptoms are the list. The list is really long, and congestion is on there.

We're screwed.

So I mean, people are congested for weeks in the winter. Yeah, weeks, months. People are congested. So the fact that congested is on there, and I am aware of the fact that COVID can just be a little cold. Every— yes, Joette says every symptom is a symptom of COVID I mean, so Joette, every time your kid or you has a symptom, are you like, oh my God, what if it's COVID?

So I'm like, we'll join the What Is It COVID? What If It's COVID Club? W-I-I-C.

So the fact of the matter is that The first step is awareness. We can't change anything if we're not aware that something isn't working. Yes, Joette is there with me, she understands. So if we notice that a pattern in our life is not working for us, a feeling is not working for us, we're aware of it, that is how we change it. That is how we take steps to change it. So your pattern doesn't have to be my pattern of freaking out every time your child has a symptom.

You're gonna get a new pattern.

Maybe your pattern is Every time your child doesn't turn in an assignment, you freak out. I mean, whatever your pattern is, maybe every time you're stressed out, you reach for the cookies. Whatever your negative pattern is, awareness is the first step.

Yes.

So I'm aware that I'm doing this. I'm aware that I'm driving my family crazy. I'm aware that I'm driving myself crazy, and I don't want to do this anymore.

My name is Rebecca, and I'm a COVID testaholic.

I'm not a co— no, but I will tell you One of the things that has been helpful is that I don't need an excuse.

Does not need an excuse for a cookie. That's right, just have them anywhere.

Oh my God, I do love cookies. I understand. So the at-home tests have been super helpful because the— I give the kids a test and they're like, but Mom, it was negative. Well, I understand it's not 100% effective, but it does help.

It makes you feel better.

It helps ease my spiral.

Yes, yes, it does.

Okay, so what Seth and I noticed— Seth is going to chime in and agree with me— is that when I go to that place, yes, it's the— and I'm like breathing fast and like pacing and none of that is gonna help my state. So I have to, I have to slow myself down. And as I was typing this, I was literally taking deep breaths and I was like, wow, I feel So different when I do that. So when my children have a symptom, I'm going to slow my breathing. I'm going to say calm things to myself. I'm going to say things like, whatever it is, my family will handle it together and it will be okay. I'm going to say things to myself that doesn't make me go, "What if there's just dust up my nose and that's why I'm sneezing?" Oh my gosh, every time they sneeze and I look at them, they're like, Come on, Mom!

She yells from across the room, you better stay healthy! You better not be sick! I'm not getting another test!

Seth is like, do you remember when a sniffle was not a big deal?

You didn't even care. Oh my gosh, your most important priority back then was just don't wipe your nose on your arm, use a Kleenex. And now we've graduated to, damn it, it's a test.

Oh, so I think of, I think of myself like grabbing hold of myself and taking control. And like, like, grab your— like, grab your brain, grab hold of it, and just say stop. Like, I literally think of it as a recorder, and I say, okay, stop the tape. The same analogy, the same tape is playing in your head. I have to stop, and I have to rewind And I have to reset, reframe, and I have to tell myself something better as I'm slowly breathing.

Yes, that's awesome.

And I'm not going to do it perfectly. My husband is right here. He's going to hold me to this because when he sees me not doing it, he's going to say, I heard you talking about—

you told me I wasn't allowed to do that. You said you can't throw it back in my face.

Okay, but I'm telling you now, I'm explaining that.

Oh, okay.

Just because I am telling you what I'm going to do does not mean that I'm going to be successful. It means that I have to keep trying.

Yes.

And just because we might not do it right doesn't mean we don't keep trying.

Right.

And I did have a therapist say to me, I get it right about 10% of the time. I think I told you this in one of our—

Yeah, but that betting average is too low.

That betting average is too low, but that made me feel better that she keeps trying. And we just— we just never give up, right? We never give up. We just keep trying. So think about what isn't working for you in your life. This isn't working for me. I don't want to freak myself or my family out. Um, I'm exhausted. I— between Hanukkah and Ella being sick, I did not sleep. I don't tend to sleep when she's puking.

You got laser ears.

I— and I just, you know, you know how the moms are.

You have to like be on watch for your kid, make sure they're still breathing.

So my wonderful husband did let me go back to sleep today.

Yes.

So thank you for driving the kids and giving me a break.

You're welcome.

I needed— I needed a break. I, I am—

use another one.

I am gonna go to bed after this, so I wanted to share with you our crazy Hanukkah. It was wonderful. I mean, it was— we created some really wonderful memories despite it all, despite the illnesses. And it's, you know, unfortunately that time of year. And I hope that my kids can stay healthy the rest of the winter. So wish me luck. I wish you luck. And I want— do you want to say anything else about this?

No, you did a great job.

I want to tell you about Friday because I'm so excited. When I started my podcast, my, one of my very first choices of guests is Steph— was Stephanie Kofta. And I worked with Stephanie for many, many years. I met her in the year 2000 when I started doing therapy with her. She's also a therapist.

You weren't doing therapy with her. You were doing therapy as therapists in the same office.

As coworkers in the same office.

Coworkers. Yeah. She's not your therapist.

She's not my therapist, but she's awesome. And she did give me lots of therapy over the years as my coworker.

Yes.

And I, and I know, well, and vice versa.

Yes. Yes.

I know how good she is. And I have been dying to have her on. It's been over a year and she finally agreed to it. And I was like, listen, if you don't want to do it, please don't do it. And she was like, no, we're going to do it. And ironically, Serendipitously?

Yeah, that is a word.

That is the word that I'm looking for. We worked with our dear friend Molly, who passed away, and Molly's birthday is Sunday. So I said to Stephanie, how does it feel that we're doing this and we're going to put it out to the universe on Friday, right before her birthday? So it all came together in the way it was supposed to come together. And I hope that Molly was listening when we recorded it.

Sure she was.

Um, this, this podcast is for her.

It's a really good interview. Like, I, I listened to it and I, I got some takeaways to improve my own marriage.

Um, Stephanie and I have really good conversations and we, we stopped the recording and kept talking. I probably shouldn't have stopped the recording, but, um, I think you're gonna enjoy it.

And, um, check it out on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Pandora, and Audible.

We just finished our December Light Up the World challenge in the Whiny Blues and Mom group, and that was so much fun. So thank you everyone who did that with us. I'm sure that we all lit up the world and we will continue to do that every day because the world needs us. Yes, right, right now. I mean, I shouldn't say that. We live in a, we live in a great world and we're very lucky.

Um, always leave your audiences wanting more because you stopped the interview and kept talking.

That's funny. Thank you, Jamie. Well, I'm sure that Stephanie and I will do it again. You're gonna love her. And I need Ella, I need you to come sing us out because I think Lily's busy. Um, so anyways, thank you everyone for watching. Thank you for watching Whiny Pluto Wednesday with the Green Family.

Cha-cha-chicken!

Love you, Mom. Love you, baby. Have a good week, everyone.