The Whinypaluza Podcast with Rebecca Greene Episode 064 Pumped Up Parenting

No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza!

Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza podcast with Rebecca Green.

Welcome to the Whiny Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Green. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

This is Rebecca Green for the Whiny Palooza podcast, and I am so excited today because I get to speak with Celia Kibler. Celia, thank you so much for joining me today.

Oh, I'm thrilled to be with you, Rebecca. Thank you for having me.

She's an impressive lady. Celia is a bestselling author, a family empowerment coach, and the founder of Pumped Up Parenting and FunFit Family Fitness. She is the mom of 5 kids, 2 she gave birth to and 3 she gained from marriage, as well as a grandma of 9.

Wow!

She has successfully parented a blended family for over 24 years. Celia is on a mission to stop 1 million parents from yelling at their kids. Her book, Raising Happy Toddlers: How to Build Great Parenting Skills and Stop Yelling at Your Kids, is available for purchase from Amazon. She has written 3 children's books to enhance development for Your Kids, Being Different is Fun, I Am Grateful, and All About Me. Celia believes that the more parents understand their children and themselves, the better they can communicate and relate while building trust and respect within a nurturing, fun environment. Her reason is simple: because we are raising adults, not children. With over 40 years of coaching, teaching, counseling kids and their parents, including special needs populations, Celia has found successful solutions for real-life parenting situations with advice that is easy to follow, doable, and result-driven. She brings that wisdom to you in her book as well as private and group coaching programs. She's the host of the Pumped Up Parenting Podcast. She's the founder of Pumped Up parenting. She's the co-founder of FunFit Family Fitness, and she's a recording artist, Jiggles and Giggles by FunFit. I am so impressed with this woman, and I am so excited to talk to her.

Wow. Oh my gosh, Rebecca, stop it some more. You know, just— there's just so much.

There's— oh my gosh, it's just an amazing resume, and you have— you've helped so many families. Can we start back and ask you what inspired you to become a Family Empowerment Coach?

Well, I'll tell you what came first, the chicken or the egg, was the egg of FunFit, or is it the chicken of FunFit? I don't know. FunFit came first. And, um, basically growing up, I came from a wonderful family. My dad was a yeller though. So we all kind of had the result of growing up in a family where someone's yelling at you fairly often. And that is, you know, the, the worthlessness, the second-guessing yourself, the thinking nothing you do is right. That's in all of me and my siblings. And I found my comfort in children because children didn't judge me. They didn't criticize me. They were my people. And you know, when the adults were at the adult table, I was at the children's table. Why? More fun. I love that. You know, I always say I'm just like a 5-year-old in a really old body. I just get children. I just get them. You know, I, you know, people in FunFit, I started that in 1987 and people are always saying, how do you know what toys they like and what stuff they like to do? I'm like, well, because if I like it, I know they'll like it. And so I started with that back in 1987, like I said, and through these decades of teaching children and their parents, you see all these changes in parenting strategies and techniques up into like this decade where it really began to change and parents really did not enforce things that they should be enforcing with children. And I was constantly being asked for help. And back in 2016, I decided there was a real need for this. And instead of just helping my parents that were in my classes, I needed to branch out and reach out to the world and really get parents understanding what their job is. And that is, let's raise confident, happy, kind, compassionate, self, self, uh, empowered, emotionally balanced adults. So yes, that's what got me into it.

Amen.

Amen, sister.

You know, I think that doing this podcast, the biggest lesson I have learned from the fabulous women I have spoken to is to stop worrying about them being well-behaved kids. We focus so much on, on them being children, and I wasn't thinking about their future. So you make such excellent points.

Exactly. You know, it's, you know, parents are always like, well, I want my kids to be happy. I want them to be happy. You know what? I want them to be happy too. And my kids are now all in their 30s and they are happy. But the reality is you can't be happy all of the time. And welcome to life when things don't go your way. And if you are making everything go their way for your children, you are doing them a disservice when you need to be practicing that disappointment muscle and making sure they realize, you know what, things don't go right, it's a bump in the road. Let's look at it. Let's examine it. Let's find a new route to take to get to whatever solution you're reaching for.

Absolutely. 100%. Let's talk about yelling. You brought up yelling.

I'm a big, I'm a big anti-yelling person.

Well, and you know what? That's your gift. And I want you to share it with us. How Do we yell less and be— I love that you say be more proactive and less reactive. How can we do that?

Absolutely. Well, so first, all those feelings I had that are those little voices in my head that I'm sure if you were yelled at as a child, you identify with. I mean, there are even times now, you know, with as much as I've gone through and brought myself through, Understanding, you know, that I do, I am worthy, and, and I do, you know, have the confidence to help people and do things that other people need. I still second-guess myself. I did it like a couple weeks ago, and my husband, and I was like, I was looking at something, and I was like, I should ask my daughter Lauren. And he goes, why do you have to ask Lauren? I'm like, I'm not so sure this is the best choice. And then he goes, why are you second-guessing yourself? And it's like, but then, you know, like flashbulbs. Oh, I don't know why, you know, I need to stop that. And even though it got much, much better, I'm sure your listeners can, you know, identify with the fact that it doesn't always really go away. So we as parents need to be super intentional to plant the seed seeds that will be positive growing steps for your children that will create childhood that they can blossom from and they don't have to recover from. And for yelling, it's a matter of really understanding this thing called a child and understanding that the human brain doesn't fully develop for 25 years. Wow. So if you are a toddler, And you're looking at your toddler going, gosh, they're like working with half a deck. They are working with half a deck. That's what they're working with, half a deck. You know, they've got all emotion. You know, God gave children all this emotion. Yeah. As you have probably have noticed with your children.

Yes.

What they didn't get was logic, self-regulation, compassion, understanding. You know, that they can examine something and really figure out the best response for something. That is left up to you to teach them. That is your job. So if you're screaming and yelling at your child because they disappointed you, you are teaching your child to scream and yell when they get disappointed. And you really have to take a breather. You have to set up limits and boundaries because they should show that you care and love your children. You have to be consistent with those limits and boundaries, and you have to set up consequences that teach, not punish, so that when they make choices that are not so great, the consequence helps them to make a better choice next time.

It's so funny, the parents who always say— I shouldn't use the word always, I don't like that word. The parents who say, I've tried every consequence and nothing works.

Exactly.

I would be like, let's talk about this.

I get so many people like in my, my stop yelling challenges or workshops, I'll get people, I've tried everything. Well, clearly you haven't because you're still yelling. Or the people go, that go, I got yelled at and I'm okay. I'm like, are you? Are you really okay? Let's talk about that for a minute.

It's, you know, it's so true. And I don't know if you would agree with me, but I would say consistency and follow-through were the two things that were falling by the wayside and why they would say nothing works. Exactly.

Because you have to be a person, a parent of integrity and a person of integrity. Yeah. And when you are a person of integrity, you say what you mean and you follow through with what you say. So like if you're at a party and your kids are bugging you to death and you look at them and say, if you guys don't stop, we're leaving, and you have no intention of leaving, it doesn't matter what you say to them because they know they can do whatever they want. You're not leaving. But if you say we're leaving and they continue to do whatever it is that is the behavior you're not wanting at the time, and you told them if they don't stop, you're leaving, and you get up and leave, they will actually realize, whoa, you know, mom and dad mean what they say and they do what they say.

Oh, my husband is so good at that. I am, I am guilty.

I am raising my hand.

I'm guilty. My daughter is so, um, sometimes getting her to dance class and I'm like, that's it, no more dance next year. Okay, why would I say something that I I know I'm not gonna follow through with. Why would I even say that?

Because it's an easy thing to reach for. But what you have to do, Rebecca, and what your listeners need to do is when there is a recurring issue, this is something that pops up on a regular daily basis. You have a fight over a tablet or your child's throwing food, or they don't wanna go to a, a dance class. Those are the things you want to examine. Create a teachable consequence for, and then every time that behavior shows up, that consequence is the result of it. And the beauty of it is, after a few times, they're like, well, what the heck, every time I do this, Mom takes my tablet for a day. After a few times, they're like, well, I guess I'm going to get off my tablet this time so that I can get it back after dinner.

Yes.

They're going to start learning to stop fighting, you know, and stop showing you the behavior that is, that you don't want.

For sure. And people will tell me, I was just talking to a mom who was telling me, it's so hard. It's so hard to, um, you know, when we punish them, we're punishing ourselves, but then they learn and then it gets easier. So it's like initially it's harder. Exactly.

And you know, it's, um, every client I work with, I, you know, I had, if I work one-on-one, I'm working for 90 days because that's all it takes to turn your entire family around and to know what to do when something happens instead of like, I actually know, I have no idea what to do in this situation. You know, I mean, how many times have parents said that, you know? Okay, now here's a situation. Got nothing. Got nothing here. I don't know what's going on. Got nothing with this.

Yeah.

But when you learn the techniques and you get used to it and you do things like showing your child positive attention, noticing when they do good, because they do a lot of good. The problem is when they start fighting with a sibling or they throw something, that's when you chime in. They've been good for an hour while you had a business phone call. You said nothing to them about that. Instead, they heard from you when that negative behavior started. Whereas if they heard from you when they were being good and you walked over and said, gosh, you guys are like playing so nice, I really appreciate it. They ultimately want to please you. So if you are showing them that whatever behavior it is is pleasing you, they're going to opt for that behavior over one that displeases you.

100%, and I'm gonna go tell my children how much I appreciate them and their quietness after our, um, Zoom.

Yes, and be— I'll give you one hint, Rebecca— be very specific to the behavior they're doing. Just don't say great job. Say great job for really playing quietly while I was on the phone. Great job for helping me pick Pick the dishes up and put them in the sink, whatever it is, because then it's specific to the behavior you want to continue.

Excellent advice.

My pleasure.

How do we become a more positive person? You're so positive and you help people become more positive.

Help us. Okay, so I have a ritual every morning and it's a ritual I teach everybody. I will tell you, when I was a child, it stems from— I know exactly when it stems from— when in the summer of 8th, the summer of 7th grade, I was diagnosed with scoliosis. I have 3 curves in my spine, and from 8th grade to 12th grade, I wore a body brace from my neck to my hips. Oh my. And the appointments were in Baltimore's Children's Hospital, and the outpatient clinic was right next to the terminal ward. So here I sat with my brace on that could come off next to kids that had no legs. This little girl had a skin disease. She was losing all her skin. She would be dead within a year. But all this child did was laugh. There was like music coming down the hallway. So I learned, how could I possibly be upset that all I have is this brace and it comes off? And as you can see, I still have those 3 curves in my spine. I think they're getting worse with age because I'm shrinking fast, but you can't tell anything's wrong with me. How could I be discouraged or depressed about that when here are these children losing their lives, losing parts of their bodies? Even people that had scoliosis, the type of scoliosis that causes a hunchback. Mine is this way. The hunchback goes this way, which I'm sure there's a term for that. And I don't know what, but you know, it really showed me to number one, be extremely grateful. And number two, always know through life that whatever I'm going through, there is someone out there facing a much greater challenge. And you teach your children that. Hopefully they don't have to go through a 5-year body brace to learn it, but you help them learn it by every morning. Doing gratitude. I am so grateful for— and at first your kids might be like, I'm so grateful for my teddy bear, I'm so grateful for my doggy, I'm so grateful for my Xbox. But the more you do it and the more you do it day after day, their brain's going to be stretching out on the gratitude. I'm grateful for the rain today because the trees are growing. I'm grateful for dirty dishes because it means I have food to eat. I'm grateful for that pile of laundry that I can't get a hold of because it means I have clothes to wear. And that gratitude will grow and grow. And affirmations in my Tranquility Tribe, which is my private, like, inner circle group, every day I post affirmations for them to say to themselves and with their kids. And I am, in my opinion, the two most powerful words in any language. Need to be followed by something positive, never something negative, so that you are speaking the truths that you need your brain to focus on. It has been proven, research test after research test, that what you focus on, your brain focuses on. And if you focus on the negative, your brain will also focus on the negative. It's like seeing your children, seeing a day in the life of your kids. And start seeing the positive and not always the negative. And then the last thing I throw in for good luck with families that you don't hear too much of is I throw in, wouldn't it be awesome if? Because it gives all of you the opportunity to dream about anything that you think, well, wouldn't it be awesome if I got my braces off in 2 months? Wouldn't it be awesome if I aced my geometry exam? Wouldn't it be awesome if we took a trip to Disneyland in December? Whatever. And those are the 3 things I encourage families to do every morning and then read them at night before you go to bed.

Oh, I wrote it down. And I want to tell you that we were just discussing this because I had the pleasure of interviewing my husband for Father's Day. And I was telling him how much I appreciate him. And I said, you know, the most important decision we make is who we marry. And he said, nope. He said, he said that he learned from Tony Robbins, it's the state that we choose to be in all day. Yes, being grateful and appreciative and all of those things makes us more positive.

Exactly, it is a choice. You know, depression is reality, mental illness is reality, but in my world, gratitude can absolutely change your attitude. It rhymes for a reason because I love to rhyme.

I love that.

Yeah, it can absolutely change that attitude and it can change the attitude of your children.

Yes, it's contagious.

It is. And so is a smile, by the way. So teach your children to smile when they talk. You can always hear a smile if you listen to just the audio of that. This you would know that Rebecca and I are smiling through the whole thing while we're talking. You ever talk to someone who's just like, "Mwah, hah, nah, wah, wah." Nobody wants to hear that.

No, no. I'm going to go tell my children that too.

Oh, and that's really fun, Rebecca. Like if they come whining to you, like in my classes, you know, most of my classes are toddlers and the classes I teach not with their parents, the ones I teach at schools. Where it's just the kids— they'll come over to me and they want to like complain about their 4-year-old friend and they'll be like whiny-whiney-whiny meanie-meaning whatever they're saying. And I'll be like, oh honey, you can tell me that. Just tell me that with a smile. And if you don't think how funny it is to see a toddler try to whine about something and smile at the same time! They get super frustrated and usually walk away. So that's a great tip if your child's whining is say, Okay, honey, I'd love to talk to you, but can you say that with a smile? They get so frustrated, they're gone.

And you're like, good.

Okay. So I didn't want to hear about the complaining anyway. Work it out amongst yourselves.

Oh my gosh. That's too funny. Okay. Something else that I'm very guilty of, screen time, screen time for our kids. Help with how do we reduce effectively reduce screen time?

Screen time goes into your ability to keep schedules and routines active in your household on a daily basis. They are gold for your kids. I— they are like gold and they are gold for most adults.

Yeah.

So screen time is part of that schedule. We're coming on the summer. I have a Summer Sanity Pack that includes Screen Time on Your Time, a whole lesson plan. Screen Time on Your Time. And it's all about regulating that screen time. Your child does not just get to get on screen at 8 in the morning and you get them off at 8 PM that they've had meals in front of the screens. You know, I have parents tell me, well, you know, my child will only eat if they're watching a tablet. Like, well, how about you all sit around and talk about your day? Talk about something new everybody learned today. Tell a joke. Laugh, have fun at the table, communicate. Communication is a beautiful thing. And, you know, so you have to incorporate it. I always tell the story of my son because people are amazed by this story because he was a video game player. He's still a video game player. I mean, he's still here, started 2 years old, but he always wanted to play video games. And, you know, when he came out of the womb and we never bought him a console, he had to save his money, buy all his consoles. We would buy him games for his birthday and other people would. But he wasn't allowed to play video games 24 hours a day. That was a half hour or hour into his schedule that also included his schoolwork, outside playtime, helping around the house, eating, sleeping, all those things. It was just a small segment of his schedule. He did— what everybody loves to know— he grew up. And he grew up to get a degree in gaming. His passion was there alive and well. No way! And he went to work for one of the biggest gaming companies. He worked on Game of the Year. He met his wife at that gaming company. She worked— I mean, they are still to this day crazy gamers. They love it. But he— and actually, if you buy my screen time on there, on Your Time, you will meet him because he does the first segment Everything you need to know about video games. And it's— the thing is though, his screen time was limited, but I never judged him for— I'm not a video game player, and he'll be the first to tell you, because when I want to play with him, he doesn't want me to play with him because I'm terrible at it. But he— I think he would feel bad for me sometimes, but that doesn't mean there'd be times when he was like 8 years old playing video games and I would sit on his bed and be like, "So, Kyle, what are you playing? Tell me why you like this game." I didn't judge him. I joined him. I took an interest in what he was interested at. Just because it wasn't my passion— it's still not my passion— clearly, this was a lifelong passion that he had. We found a bachelor's degree in it. He went on and on and on. He makes an exceptional salary. In the industry. His wife is in the graphic marketing end of the industry, you know, and they're like duplicates, you know, female version, male version of the same person. But they're, you know, it's great. So you don't— you want to discover your kids' passions and you don't want to judge or criticize just because it may not be yours, because you never know what you will become one day.

Max jokes with me that he's going to get a career in gaming and I'm like, you are not. And see, now you proved me wrong. That's right.

Wait, I'm telling you, it was so funny, Rebecca, because he wanted to go to college in Hawaii. And I drew a circle and I was like, okay, here's your mother. Here's a circle around your mother. I live in Maryland. Like, here's, here's your circle. Hawaii is like way off the napkin, like way over here. Here you can go to New York. You can go to maybe Ohio, pushing it, but maybe. Can't fall into the Atlantic Ocean. Virginia, lots of schools. And then the Today Show did a show about video game degrees, and the number 2 university in the country for video games— number 1 was Berkeley in California, number 2 was the University of Baltimore. And I was like, yes! Oh my God, Kyle, I have found your degree.

You lucked out.

You saw that? Wasn't that was the universe keeping my children close to me so I could stalk them.

Yes, yes, we don't want them to go to Hawaii, that's for sure.

They go to Hawaii, they never come back. No, I'm airplane ride.

Exactly. I mean, I'm laughing so hard because you— if you heard our conversations, I could just hear what you would say to me to say, and I'd be like, Max, what are you playing? A game. Well, which game, Mom? I play a lot of games. Yeah, but what game are you playing? What are you playing right now? Why do you care, Mom?

Because I care and love you. Right?

I'm trying to talk to my 14-year-old.

Yes, I know. I raised 5 of them. But I always have fun. Let me tell you, I always have fun with them. You know, they're, they're such great entertainment, aren't they?

It's the— it's— that's, I think, most important, is that you enjoy them.

Yes. Is your son in 8th grade or going into 8th grade?

Yes, 8th grade.

So has he started it yet, or he's in the middle of it? He's 14. He goes into 8th grade, or—

no, he is— he's headed to high school next year in the fall.

So he lived through 8th grade.

He lived through 8th.

So did he get like become an alien? During that time and go off to the mothership and come back. Or that's why I always tell people, be prepared. Eighth grade, that's when the mothership comes and gets them. Sometimes they don't come back so quick.

Well, I hope he comes back. I just said to him at Father's Day, I kept trying to bring him into the family. Come outside, come talk to your family. And I'm like, Max, Where did you go? And are you ever gonna come back?

See, it's the aliens, you know. You can look at them and go, what have you done with my son? They come back. They, they come back, some at different times, you know. We went from like a month and a half alien ship to like years and years.

Oh gosh, and you survived it. You survived.

And more importantly, they survived.

So that's good.

They're all alive to talk about it.

Well, and you successfully raised children in a blended family. So can we talk about that for a minute?

Yes.

Give us some tips for the blended family to be more successful in their parenting.

So the big thing is, in a blended family, you really have to take your ego— or as my friend says, your ego is not your amigo— you need to park it.

Yes.

It's not the priority. Yes, You're leaving divorce, one of the hardest, hardest things you'll ever go through. Do not take it lightly. Work to keep the marriage if it's a marriage that needs to be kept. If it's a miserable, horrible, horrible marriage, by all means be happy over keeping the marriage because that's more important to your children. Yeah, but remember that these kids are going to be affected by divorce anyway. And now our family, here are my 2 kids and they're about to get 3 siblings. Yeah. So did I just throw these, you know, did everybody just move in? Yeah. Guess what? These are new brothers and they're gonna live here and you're gonna share bedrooms. And no, you have to have respect for these 5 kids. None of them asked for this to happen.

Mm-hmm.

And they all have personalities and they all have desires and needs. So those children, the 3, my 3 stepsons who are not— my husband and I do not have any children between us. My 2 are with my ex, his 3 are with his ex. And you have to realize that here are these 5 kids, they're coming from different parents, different times of being raised, different ways, different methods. But what I did a lot of and what I encourage all of you listeners to do, and if you get my book, you'll read a whole chapter on this. Is have family meetings. Sit down weekly and talk about what's going on in a casual, fun setting. This is not the reprimand time. This is the time to have everybody speak and chime in and feel respected and feel loved and feel valued. Because you know, if a teenager gets to the point where they don't think anyone cares what they have to say, they will disengage from their family. So in order to keep them engaged, I kept them engaged by offering them respect, which eventually led to them respecting me. And in our house, we had certain rules, and it didn't matter if you lived there on a regular basis or you didn't. When you walk through that door, those rules were to be honored. You know, it was, it was a time when we didn't have cell phones. I had cell phones. I like, I had the first gigantic bag cell phone. But, and everybody laughed at me, believe it. They're like, that thing will never make it, these things will never make it. Now, had I had enough sense to buy a cell phone, had I had enough sense to invest on in it, that would have been different story. But I know I have ADD, so they, you know, they were required to tell me where they were going, what was the phone number where they were going, who were they going to be with, blah blah blah. Whereas at their mother's house, they were like free-range chickens, you know, they could go wherever they wanted to go, do whatever they wanted to do. They were never held accountable. But our house, it was different. And when a couple of them came to live with us, I had to remind them, remember guys, this is not like when you're home. You still have to be held accountable. You have responsibilities in this home. Yes, we have a ton of fun. It's, you know, laughter, my middle name. But it's still working as a family together, and everybody works with each other. And gratefully, they got along from the get-go, you know. I, I don't know as this marriage would have happened if those 5 children had been at war with each other, but I worked hard to make it that way.

Well, it sounds like you did an amazing job.

Thank you.

Can you tell us what you like best about what you do?

About what I do?

Yes.

I love when people go, and I get this a lot, it's amazing, you told me what to do, I did it, and it was like magic. They actually listened, or they actually did what you said they would do. And I just love that because That, that excitement is in the parent, and I know darn well that excitement is in that child. And when people tell me, you know, they, they work with me and they go, this is the first week we've had no yelling. We've been getting on board with each other. Everybody's getting happier. People— one mom even said she had all teenagers. She even said her boys, when they were at her, their father's house, called them up, talked to her on the phone, and said, you know, Mom, it's so great to hear how happy you sound. I love you. How does that, like, make you feel? That's it. There is nothing better.

And, and I find that that's what my kids want. They want me to be happy. They want me to smile, right? Yes, absolutely. One action step that they can take today to make a difference?

So one action step that I haven't told you yet. So I already told you to notice the positive of your children, hugely important. And don't just notice, tell them you notice. But as far as yelling goes, people always say to me, well, if I don't yell, they don't listen. That's like Everybody believes that when in fact you as a parent have taught them to wait until you yell. You've actually taught them that, okay, Mom's coming up. Okay, you know, get off your video game since we're talking video games and you leave. Like, okay, we got maybe another 5, 10 minutes here. Comes back up, get off your video games. You leave. Okay, we're up to 10, 15 minutes. Get off your video games, we leave. And then she comes back up and she's like, get off the video games or I'm gonna throw them out, or whatever the response is. And they're like, okay, time to go, mom yelled. They just got 20 more minutes to play video games. They are not stupid. They— you have trained them. So there is— the problem is not that you're yelling. The problem is that you're asking your children to do the same thing over and over and over again. So by the first and second time, I will give you no more than two tries. Mm. You need to have a consequence set up. If they don't get off the video games, you know what the beauty is of a console? It unplugs and it's very lightweight. You take it away. You don't throw it away. That doesn't make sense because you just paid a lot of money for this console. Yeah. But you can certainly unplug it and take it away for 24 hours. And you'll get it back 24 hours. If that happens 2 days in a row, you can say, you know what, this is the second day, 48 hours. You best believe by the third or fourth day, they're like, woo, we better listen to my— we're never getting this thing back. Oh, consistency, a solution, and stop asking a million times the same thing over and over again.

Laughing at me going Put on your shoes, put on your shoes, put on your shoes. That's what's playing in my head right now.

We've all done it. I have even done it, me, you know, raising my children. We all do it. We all get frustrated. We all get rushed. Make sure you're leaving enough time so that the time constraint itself is not making you irritable.

Oh, that's, that's That is like top. That is excellent. I need, I need, I need to focus just on that and my life will be so much easier.

Get up earlier, move earlier, get done the night before what you can get done so that the morning is only left to a few things. Hmm.

Full of so much goodness. Can you tell us about your books?

Yes. So my books are— this is video, right?

Yes.

So I can even show my books. So Raising Happy Toddlers: How to Build Great Parenting Skills and Stop Yelling at Your Kids.

Awesome.

Is actually coming out very soon in Spanish.

Ooh.

So, um, it will be available in English and in Spanish soon. Now in English, soon in Spanish. And my— that I wrote this book like a manual. You know how everybody goes, I wish, you know, my kids didn't come with a manual. Well, now they do. I wrote it. Yeah. So no excuses. You can look up whatever you need. And if you read reviews on Amazon, you'll see that a lot of people that have read this book have teenagers. And yes, there are chapters in here. Like, you know, I, I'm assuming your 16-year-old is potty trained. If they're not, there's a chapter in here, but most of the chapters apply to children of all ages. And so it is a manual. You just keep it on your shelf. You know, you can, you know, write in it. And I wrote it in my own voice. So they're a little funny. Like there's one chapter that says, who's in charge? I can't remember what chapter it is, but I really just wanted to write you in big letters and go on to the next chapter. But I was like, but then after I wrote you in big letters, I was like, well, I guess you paid for this book, so you probably want a little more information.

A little more than you.

Yep, but I was so tempted to do that. My children's books are Being Different Is Fun, All About Me, and I Am Grateful. And you know how grateful I am. And my second gratitude book about how to actually be grateful, this is all about what you're grateful for, and it gives you pages in the back so that, um, you know, you can write down what you're grateful for. And, um, but my new book coming out is actually about how you get your— it's, it's a story, it's a poem, because I'm very rhymey. I rhyme a lot, to the, to the dismay of most of my family. But they're like, cut it out, Mom. Even my grandchildren are getting in a way. But I can't help it, you know. A line comes into my head and I have to like just keep going with it. Yeah, but, um, so this book is a storybook about how and why you should be grateful. So that's in the process of being illustrated right now.

Very exciting.

And you can just go to celiasbooks.com and that'll take you to all the Amazon links for all the books. Awesome.

Well, tell us if there's anything else you want to share that I didn't ask you.

I just want you to remember that, you know, you can look at parenting and yes, people have done it for centuries without a coach or someone to help them. We've reached out to people and some of us have no one to reach out to, but it is truly a sign of strength when you say, you know what, boy, I could really use some help with this. I could really use a little advice. And maybe it's to the point where, like for me, you join my Tranquility Tribe, which is a low-cost membership group, but you still get coaching and you get me in your back pocket. Or maybe you wanna go to private coaching. That's all up to you and up to your needs and up to your budget and whatever it is. But don't be afraid to reach out for help, whether it's me or someone else. Reach out for help. That's the sign of strength.

Yes.

The weakness is not— is understanding that you need help and not being willing to get someone to help you. So if you're listening, you can simply go to talkwithceilia.com and you have a free phone call.

What was your ego line that your friend told you? Put your— it was a fun line about putting your ego aside.

Your ego is not your amigo.

Yes.

Yes.

I love that.

I don't know whether he coined it or not. He probably heard it from somewhere and he passed it along. Now I'm passing along, but it's the truth and it's the truth in everything with parenting. It's not about you. And it's a really good thing to remember in life as you pass on life skills for your kids and core values for them to remember not to take things personally. Your kids are not doing things because they wanna be mean to you.

Right.

So don't take it personally.

That's, yes. I would say that's probably the most important parenting lesson right there.

Yep.

So tell us the best place to find you. Where do you want everyone to go? Which website?

You can simply go to pumpedupparenting.com. There you'll find my podcast, my books. My coaching, you know, my masterclasses that I do once a month, all that's on there. So that's probably your resource to find everything. And just if you're a YouTuber on YouTube, you go to Pumped Up Parenting with Celia Kibler.

Well, you are full of so much wisdom, as I knew you would be, and it has been such a pleasure to talk to you today.

Rebecca, you are a joy, my dear.

Oh, thank you so much.

Like I said earlier, off, off recording, you sparkle.

Oh, thank you so much. This is Rebecca Green reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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