Time Suckers

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday! No need to whine, it's Winey Palooza Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Green Family. Did you do it fast enough to get out of here? Fast as you possibly can. Ouch! Don't hurt your mother getting down. Okay, let's do it.

Picture is very crooked.

Yeah, please fix the picture.

See, I noticed something, honey.

I love when you notice stuff. I love when you clean stuff and fix stuff. It makes me so happy.

Secrets to marriage, baby. Clean stuff and fix stuff.

Oh my goodness. So we changed the clocks back.

Everybody did.

Everybody changed the clocks back. Help me out.

Daylight savings time.

We all changed our clocks back on Sunday. Yes. So I figured it was the perfect week to talk about time, and I thought that I was like so excited for this for my son because he gets up so early for high school, and I was like, this is gonna help him.

Oh, you were excited with the time change?

Yeah, for Max. I was excited for Max. I was like, Max, the time change is coming. Hold on, it's gonna help you. Hopefully it is helping him. I doubt it at this point.

I don't understand. It's making— it made it earlier, didn't it?

No, it didn't. You get an extra hour of sleep. But the problem is that I'm waking up at 5 o'clock every day and I'm totally exhausted. Don't start messing with me. So I was getting up at like 6, 6:30 every day, and now I'm getting up at 5, 5:30 every day, so I'm like totally exhausted. Okay, so we won't talk about my— my body has every year— my body hasn't readjusted yet. What do you want me to do?

Nothing.

Nothing. So fantastic. So I want to talk about time, and I want to talk about time suckers, and I want to talk about how precious your time is.

Yes.

Do you know that your time is precious? Do you have ways that you, um, make your time precious and don't let things suck your time. Tell us your tips as you're watching. Tell us what you agree or disagree with. I want to hear what you have to say about time. But I want to start with the fact that I will never forget. And Seth, I don't know if you remember this or not, but we were sitting at family dinner and we were talking about running around and your father said, running around is not a good use of your time.

Okay.

Yes. Okay.

You were talking about errands.

We were talking about errands and going to multiple stores. Yes. And he was saying that that's not good use of your time.

Like your mother goes to 5 different stores to find one thing.

And he just— he doesn't— I mean, I think I've told him this before, but he really changed my mindset on errands. And now my goal is to buy as much as I can at one store. And my friends are probably saving money because they grocery shop at Walmart and Aldi's and Trader Joe's and Wegmans, and they get the best deals, and I'm sure they're saving a ton of money.

But what is your time worth?

So I'm going across the street to Wegmans and spending too much money and trying to get everything at one store, but I'm saving time.

Yes. So money you can always replace, time you can't get back.

We just have to think about how we want to spend our time.

Ah, family says in Arizona we don't change times.

I thought that was true. I didn't think everyone changed time. Thank you for the correction. Thank you for telling us that. Very interesting. Okay, let's talk about more time suckers. So number 1 is instead of running to 10 different stores, try to get everything at one store. That's what I try to do. I also love to do online shopping. I was talking to my friend today and I was like, oh my God, I have to go to 2 stores and I'm so hired, and she said go online. Amazon, go online. Hi Kristen! Kristen's here.

Yeah.

Okay, so Kristen is a good shopper. Kristen spends a lot of time saving her family money and going to multiple stores. I'm not doing that at this point.

You're prioritizing the time over the money. Time saving over money.

So let's talk more about time saving. So let's talk about social media.

Which we're on right now.

So, well, this doesn't count. This is work. We are— you and I are working. I don't count this as social media time. I'm more talking— if I'm doing anything for Winey Palooza on social media, I do not count that time.

But the endless hours—

I'm— I don't spend endless hours on TikTok. I think I was on for like 5 minutes today.

Okay, thank you, Peanut Gallery. See, it's— perhaps it was the other day that it seemed like you were on TikTok a lot.

Okay, well, you were just playing the same video over and over. Can I get a sentence?

Sorry, it's your show. I apologize.

So I can sit on the couch and scroll through social media for an hour like it's nothing. It can suck up an hour's time like nothing. And we talk a lot about our kids being on social media a lot or being, being on their phones too much, but we don't necessarily— do we limit our own time? That's what I was thinking today. Like, do we limit our time enough on our phone. And one of my favorite ways to save time is to put my phone away. I will say to myself, you're in timeout. You're in phone timeout. Put your phone away and just be present, or put your phone away and get done what you need to get done. I love to have stuff playing in the background. I love, love, love to have podcasts playing while I'm getting stuff done around the house. I don't really count that. But the mindless scrolling is really what's sucking our time.

Yes, it is a very good example.

What about being too responsive? I had a friend text me and she had a question for me about a meeting. And she said, and I knew that you would respond right away because you're so, you're so responsive and you're so reliable and you're so good at responding. And I know she was trying to compliment me. But I, I took it the wrong way. No, I took it the right way to learn a lesson.

Yes, the better way.

So when she said that, I was like, oh man, I'm way too responsive.

Yes, you got the wrong rep.

I don't want the reputation that I'm going to respond to a text and an email right away. Like, that is, first of all, that's too much pressure. Second of all, that's not me prioritizing my time at all.

Correct, you're letting other people dictate your schedule.

Well, and I was writing my blog this week outside focused on my blog. And I interrupted myself to answer emails and answer text messages as I'm writing about it. And I'm like, ladies, I'm like, focus.

You're really writing about it.

Like, literally focus on your blog and get it done and stop interrupting yourself to respond to people. They can wait. And I was so good when I was in an office all day I would map out my day and I still map out my day, but I interrupt it too much with texting and emailing. And when I was in an office all day, I would designate times like I'm going to check my emails at this time and then I'm going to check my emails before I leave. And then I'm not going to check my emails while I'm home. I'm going to wait until I come back the next day. And I was better at limit setting and I was better at scheduling my time for emails. And I emailed for an hour before I did my blog the other day. And I was like, did you have an hour to spare? Because I don't think you do. So, sucked up. So our emails are important. We just have to remember that our emails and our texts can take up so much time that we may not have.

They may be important, but not urgent.

Oh, that's a good way of putting it. And you're all important. I want you to know every single one of you who listens and watches this. I'm not saying that I don't want to respond to you. I want to talk to people. I love people. You know that I'm a people person, but that doesn't mean that I should be doing it all day long. It— the more we interrupt ourselves, the less that we are productive.

Yes.

And it takes us longer to do something when we're not focused. It's like if we focus and do one thing, I feel like we get more stuff done versus getting distracted and, and dividing our attention. You're good at focusing. Yes, you're probably like razor focused at work.

That is how I am so productive.

But we're gonna get to that because, because I have some funny stuff for you.

All right.

Okay, what about running into people?

Oh my God, you are the queen of running into people.

Okay, so you can't go anywhere, but I want to say that I love it I'm prefacing all of this with, I want to talk to you. I want to see you. I get excited to bump into you, but I have to be aware of the time. We have to know where do we need to be. And I have a perfect example for you. I was at Wegmans, our grocery store, and I literally ran in to get Ella flowers for her show and ran out and had to get home because I had to help her with her makeup and hair for her show. I did not have time. I did not have time to talk to my neighbor who I bumped into, and I can feel rude. I don't like feeling rude, but I literally said hello and kept running, and that's okay because I didn't have time, right? So I want to talk to you, and I'd love to talk to you, but I also have to be aware of what time is it and where do I need to be.

You have time to talk.

Do I have time to talk? When I'm at middle school picking up Ella, mothers will congregate outside if it's nice out. And I love talking to everyone, but I know that when Ella comes out of the building, I have to wrap it up, get in the car, and get her to theater. Like, there's no time to chitchat. Like, I can chitchat before she gets in the car.

Yes.

But it's just a matter of, you know, if I let it suck my time, I won't have any time to get where I need to be on time.

Right. There's a law called Parkinson's Law that whatever you're doing will expand to fit the amount of time you're willing to give it.

Huh, I have never heard that before.

It's a productivity law. So if you have an hour's worth of work, it will take you an hour. If you only give yourself half an hour, you'll get it done faster.

Hmm, I'm learning something tonight. I like when you teach me things. Um, let's tell them what kind of t-shirt I want to get you. Tell them the t-shirt that I want to buy you. Do you remember this from the blog?

I'm not sure if I remember the slogan you want to put on it.

Okay. I want to get Seth a t-shirt that says, "That could have been an email." Oh my God.

Yes.

Seth needs to have a t-shirt that says, "That could have been an email." Yes.

I was on a meeting the other day that half an hour, it could have been a 3-sentence email. And I told my wife that, and that's what sparked— she's like, "You need a t-shirt." because there are so many times, so many meetings that like, really, we didn't need half an hour for that.

He is hysterical when he says they could have sent me like a paragraph email instead of a 1 or 2-hour meeting. And it pushes his buttons and it is hysterical.

They may have time to waste, but I do not.

I really value getting people together. I think that for these meetings, they think that it's going to spark ideas, which it does. I think it's good to bring people together. I also think that in the spirit of the stage of life that we're in, our kids are in a million directions and meetings are like a time sucker. I'm not going to go to every meeting. I'm going to miss meetings and I prioritize my kids being where they need to be. And that's more important to me than a meeting. Now, if I'm running the meeting, You don't really have a choice. I will be there for sure. And if it's on Zoom, that really makes everyone's life easier. And I can't even tell you how many mothers are like, our meeting's on Zoom, right? And I'm like, I understand. We all got so spoiled with— I don't want to say we got spoiled with COVID That sounds really bad. We got spoiled with so much stuff online, like even parent-teacher conferences. It's like, do you want to come in? Or do you want to do it online? And it's literally a 7— I have a 7-minute slot to talk to Ella's teacher. I'm like, I am not going to school to talk to him for 7 minutes. I will jump on Zoom and talk to him.

So I did not know that. Yeah, 7 minutes.

I have 7 minutes to talk to him.

That's funny. I remember you being at parent-teacher conferences where at half an hour I was like, are we done yet? We heard that they're good.

Well, the elementary school is different. It's one teacher and it's longer. The middle school and the high school, you have like little time slots to talk to teachers if you need to talk to teachers. Okay, so let's talk about— Seth and I had the funniest conversation the other night. I was like, tell me some time suckers. Do you want to tell them or do you want me to? Sure.

So time suckers in my world.

Yeah.

Uh, can I pick your brain for a minute? Can I ask you a quick question? 'Can I stop in for just a minute?' 'Can I pop in real quick?' 'Can I get your opinion on something?' You know, they know to say 'real quick' to me. They've been trained. However, it never— most— a lot of the time it is not as quick as their version of quick, and mine are different. So those— I know there's a time sucker coming because it's never just one question. It's never just something that's really quick. It always expands if I let it.

The funniest text message that we joke about is, "Can I call you?" I think it's a funny text message.

Yes.

I think that, yes, it's definitely good to talk to people on the phone. And I know that we need to do more than text and we need to connect on the phone. It's just a matter of, do you have 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes? How much time are you going to give to the phone call? Just be aware of time. If Kristen is still here, if we have book club, she's really good at this. She schedules out her day and she will say to us, if we're meeting at like 10, she'll say, okay ladies, by noon I have to get moving because I have stuff to get done. And I love that she is efficient. She's like the most efficient person I've met. And she doesn't let things suck her time if she has stuff to do. So I do notice that about Kristen. Yay, Kristen! Yay, Kristen! So open door policy versus a closed door policy. And I learned this at work with an office. I get to work at home all by myself. So it's a totally different situation now. But back in the day, when I had a ton of people in the office, I would close my door because what I learned and what Seth learned, because Seth's door is closed, Kristen heard me. Hearts back to Kristen. Um, Seth, what was I saying? You're closed door. So Seth closes his door at work, and what I learned is if I kept my door open, people came in all day. And if you know me, you know that I would have loved work to have been one social gathering all day. Like, I loved talking to the ladies at work. It was so much fun. But if you have a pile of stuff that you know is like do, like you have to get it done, you close your door, you have a closed-door policy, and people have to like schedule a time with you. I mean, I'm not going to tell you no one's going to knock on your door, but an open-door policy is going to suck your time.

Yes, because people think if it's open they can come in. It means you're— if it's open, you're not busy.

We have to evaluate our days. That is like the biggest thing. I, I was evaluating my day the other day and getting frustrated, and I talked to Seth about it because the podcast has sucked a lot more time than I anticipated that it would. And I love providing the podcast and doing the podcast, but you know, you don't know that there's a ton of work behind the scenes that— and some of the stuff I don't I don't enjoy doing. So we were talking about it and it was just me evaluating my day and what I was doing. And even the PTA, the PTA, if I let it, will suck hours and hours of my time.

It could easily be a full-time job.

It could easily. I could do, I could do stuff for hours and hours and I do. And it's just a matter of us evaluating what do we want our days to look like? What's working for us? What's not working for us, what is important to us, and what do we want to say yes to. I am teased that I say yes too much. I'm learning. I'm learning because I'm learning that I need to be in charge of my days and what I want. What do I value? What do I want to do? I think that one of the most rewarding things for me is writing. So I really prioritize that every week. And, you know, being present at things like a soccer game, a theater show. I mean, I really have to do self-evaluation on what is my time spent all day? What do I like that I'm doing? What don't I like that I'm doing? And is there stuff that I can eliminate?

So I think what's even more important than what you say yes to is what you say no to.

I like that. I like that. And I think that we know that you're better at saying no. We know that I'm learning, and I'm just learning that it's all about your values. And if you align your days with what you value, then you're a much happier person. So I think that we all need to think about what sucks our time and what is maybe a time sucker in your day that you can eliminate. And I know for me, two of my best things to help me with my day are to, one, put the phone away and say focus. I tell myself all the time, hocus focus pocus, hocus focus pocus. To get myself refocused. Hi Melissa, how are you today? I saw your live after it wasn't live, after it wasn't live, but I did just watch it and loved getting to see you and forgive my brain. Focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus. So I tell myself to focus because I get very distracted. I tell myself to focus on one thing at a time and I'm really really trying to do a chunk of emails at a time and not look at my emails all day long. So those are a few of the things that I'm doing differently, but I would love to hear what you're doing differently. Are there any time suckers that you have changed recently?

Recently?

I mean, it doesn't have to be recent, just anything significant that you think would be— we could learn from.

Closed door policy, designated time to check emails and respond to them. Both of those are good. I think the working at work, right? I'm not there to talk about the Bills game. I'm not. No one's paying me to talk about the Bills game.

Hey, cut it out. Okay, so here's where we disagree, and I love your focus. Hi, Karen. I love, love, love your focus. I really do. I appreciate it. I benefit from it. I also think that we need to be engaging, and I tell him all the time that he needs to learn about his people at work, his staff, and he needs to ask questions. And I will say, how's the new house? How was the vacation? Like, I ask him questions to then stimulate him asking the questions, and I do appreciate Seth is the epitome of being focused. I also think it's important that we be engaging.

Yes, trying to walk that line.

I also think that I could be too engaging.

Yes, and you would engage all day and then nothing would get done.

Can you just picture me at your office? You would come out—

everybody would love you. You would be like, are you gonna get some work done?

You would be like, stop talking and go in your office, right?

Close the door and get some work done.

Oh my God, if I ever go back to an office, I'm in so much trouble because I'm by myself right now when I work.

Yes. Kristen says Candy Crush. I play when I need a break, but it can be a time suck. Oh my God, I remember Candy Crush when you first started playing it, and you and Amy and the other ladies were like, I'm on level 27 and she's on level 102, and how did she get there so far?

Oh my God, Amy was like a million levels ahead of me. Um, Kristen, I can totally see how that could suck your time. Now for me, um, my little Lily has introduced me to TikTok, and I'm not so happy with her because I'm finding that I'm getting, um, recipe ideas, I'm getting hair ideas for her hair, um, just like can really suck my time if I let it. Come here, you have to sing us out. So we just did our November challenge, and Kristen Best was our winner. It was our November Thankful Challenge. So I just dropped off her present. So that is super exciting to me. And this, um, this Friday is Adrienne Grace, and you're going to love her. She focuses on financial planning for women.

Women's wealth advocate.

Women's wealth advocate. And we talked about women's financial empowerment. And I think for someone like me, I'm a perfect example. You might not be like me. You might have your hands in everything. You might know everything, or you might be like me. And I have designated so much to Seth that I don't know enough. So Adrienne has inspired me to learn more about our finances. So you're going to love listening to her. I'm sure she will teach you something. And I'm going to do a poll on Facebook. I was talking to my producer yesterday of my podcast, and we were talking about how we want to make sure— I want to provide you with what you're looking for. So like, for me, I want to learn about wealth management. Like, that's exciting to me. But is that exciting to my audience? Like we find out when we see the numbers. I think the biggest numbered podcast is on Superwoman Yourself, which tells me a lot. It tells me a lot. So I am going to do a poll just to find out what exactly you might be looking for. So please look for that. And anything else?

No.

Okay, Lilybug, you're welcome for getting you stuck in TikTok. Time sucker. Good for you. Go ahead, honey.

Good for you on recognizing an area of financial education growth you could benefit from. Proud of you. Thank you, Melissa.

Thank you, Melissa. I think that when— I think that when you delegate, then you can lose, um, what is it, knowledge? Sure. And power. You lose knowledge and power when you delegate something like finances. And Adrian had suggested a weekly meeting, which we started to do, which we started. So I love her idea, and I think she's great. And I think Melissa's right. I love when we can identify an area for growth, right? Right, right. Thanks, Melissa. Thank you for watching Winey Blues Wednesday with the Green Family. Thanks everyone, have a good week.

See you next week.

Your lips are blue. I was