Whiinypaluza Live: Birthday Lessons from Lillie

Hello everybody, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday!

No need to whine, it's Winey Palooza Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Green Family.

Can you look at the camera when you sing?

Sorry, you have no eye contact.

Eye contact with scream.

You're not breaking the fourth wall, Ella.

No fourth wall breaking.

Fully tired. Okay, honey, are you ready to wave?

Oh yeah.

Will you sing us out at the end, please?

Yes.

Thank you so much. Okay everyone, how was your Wednesday?

Happy Winey Balooza Wednesday.

My husband left the house at 7:15 AM with our son and returned at 8 PM. Long day. Hi, Kristen!

Yay, Kristen is here!

Oh my God, Kristen sent me the sweetest text this morning.

Maybe it was this afternoon, Kristen, and it was like, I love her, um, what is it called when you use all the same letter?

Oh, alliteration.

Yes, I love— she uses it like, she'll do towels on Tuesday, like, wash the floor Wednesday, water the plants Wednesday.

And then she says at the end of her text, watch White People Lose It Wednesday. And I went, oh, she doesn't know how much that meant to me.

Oh, W, it's Wednesday, it's the W day.

Yes.

So, um, oh, wake it up, wake it up. I was like, done. Well, not done, there's a million dishes still to do. But I sat down on the couch and I'm like, time to collapse. And I'm like, new wine for Wednesday.

Wine is another W.

I was like, no, I can't collapse until after Winey Palooza Wednesday. So here we are after a whirlwind of a weekend.

Oh, there's more W's, Kristen.

It was Lily's 9th birthday.

My guests won't know it, but anytime you say a word that starts with the letter W, have a shot.

Where's my shot? I need a shot right now, that's for sure. Um, it was Lily's 9th birthday, so I wrote all about Lily's birthday and decided to talk about the lessons that I learned because I learned so many lessons.

I'm excited. Maybe we will, will not repeat some things next year.

Sorry about that, honey. So we decided that we would let her have a yes day on her birthday.

We did not decide, you decided.

Oh, hi Danielle, my pleasure.

Coach Danielle just had knee surgery and I hope that she is resting, and Lily is going to miss her so much this week at cheerleading. And, um So you decided, okay, so she was having a yes. So Lily said, can I have a yes day on my birthday? And if you haven't seen the movie Yes Day, maybe you don't want to watch it with your family, right?

You give them ideas.

It definitely gives them the idea of a yes day. And I told Lily, I said, I spent so much money on you, um, we can do a yes day within reason. Because we have already spent so much money.

You have already spent so much money.

So I see how you are.

You get all the credit.

So I do a traditional scavenger hunt every birthday, and the kids love it, and they ask for it, and it's so adorable, and I love that they love it. So I bought way too many presents, way too many presents, and had a couple Swishmallow Fairies helped me. Um, who—

thank you, Swishmallow Fairies, for contributing to the chaos. See, there's some moderation contributing to the chaos.

And I only gave her 2 because Hanukkah is coming.

Thank you for actually saving something.

And I had way too many presents, and there were presents at every single clue, and I was like, oh my God, what did you do?

Yeah, I, I do not get the same treatment, just so you know.

Okay, well, we will work on you.

Just spend less.

You tell me for your birthday, you give me a limit and you say don't spend more, right?

Maybe you should have those for our children.

Okay, we'll talk about that next time.

I'm being dismissed.

You're not being dismissed. So we ventured off to cheerleading. Yes.

And, um, she loved it, and they sang to her, and it was so cute. And then she asked for Urban Air. And if you don't know what Urban Air is, it's uh, bounce extravaganza, indoor trampoline park, obstacle course, ropes course, etc. And then she wanted Panera. Oh, she wanted Panera before Urban Air, and then she wanted Andersen's with her grandparents, and after Urban Air. And then she thought we were gonna then do a movie, but we ended the night with— in the hot tub. And I was like, oh my God, that was a lot. And then went right into the next day with more stuff. And I had this outside party planned and it rained all day.

Yes, so our giant slide and party plan—

Shh, why are you saying that? She's not down here. No, we're not talking about—

Okay.

No.

Zip it.

Zip it. Save it for another day.

Okay, I didn't say anything.

So yes, so it rained all day. I was upset for days. Hi, Tayton.

Yay, Tayton and Kristen are here.

I was upset for days that it was gonna rain on Sunday.

Yes.

And put myself through the wringer. And my friend Jen saved the day and suggested Selfie World, and we surprised Lily, and she had so much fun with a few of her friends. I told her she could do something with a few of her friends, and just was such a whirlwind of a weekend and just learned so, so much. So let me share what I've—

let me share what I learned. This is gonna help my marriage too.

I'm looking forward to that.

I love you.

Love me cheaper.

I love you cheaper. We do too much. Do less. That's what I was saying to myself after this weekend. We do too much. It's like, why did it need to be an entire weekend? Now Lily was in heaven. Lily was like raring to go.

The rest of us were like, oh my God. Am I right?

Yes, because the lunch and the urban air and the dinner weren't enough, and the party.

But I did let you— let you in quotes— watch the Bills game and relax.

Yes, I appreciate you scheduling the party for late enough that I got there shortly after the party started and the Bills game was over.

But I mean, like, we decorate the house, we do a scavenger hunt, we— okay, you helped me decorate the house.

Yes, I follow directions, but they are your idea. I would never even think to do half the stuff you do.

I was like writing it down.

Birthday party decorations, cake, cupcakes, presents, balloons.

And I was like, oh, I didn't tell you about the balloons.

The balloon, the massive balloon arch in front of our house.

Our next door neighbor has a fabulous balloon company, Buffalo Balloon Company, and she makes amazing balloon decorations. So I was not specific.

And I said I want to order balloons for Lily's birthday, and she showed up with 35 feet of balloons. So I don't know if you can see it on Google Earth, but so thank you, Lydia. Next time I might be more specific because a couple feet of balloons, maybe 10 feet next time.

So I thought I'll just tape some to the door.

So my first lesson is do less. Yes, we all All of us, if you're watching, we all need to do less.

Yes.

So I continue to work on that.

Yes, we're going to do some more work on that.

Yes, we spend too much money. Spend less. You know those frugal people out there?

They do exist.

I am the opposite of frugal. So what is the opposite of frugal? Overspender?

Sure.

Well, I don't know the technical term, right? But We all spend too much money. And if you— less is more, says Joette. Thank you, Joette. If we—

if you have something small, work more on doing less, says Tayden. Amen.

We all, um, know if you are one of those people who has something small at home, fiscally responsible, and doesn't spend a lot We need to talk because even when I have birthday parties at home, I still spend too much.

Hey, Linda.

Oh, Linda, it's been so long. Hello.

Okay, so my goal is except my grocery bill. You know what, Joette, we're feeding men. You're feeding 3 men. I am feeding Seth and Max. Do you know how much food Max eats? I went back to the grocery store today and spent another $200.

What?

You were just there.

Honey, he ate everything.

In 2 days?

3 days.

3 days.

3 days. He ate most of what I bought on Sunday.

It's getting ridiculous.

He eats a lot and you eat a lot too. So anyways.

Anyways.

We spend a lot.

Spend less money.

I don't have to do everything that I do. Spend less money.

Yes.

That's my goal next birthday. Max is easy. Max is like, can I just have a good dinner?

The food is all that soccer.

Oh my God, he does burn a lot of calories. He is burning a ton of calories.

We actually tracked it. We— I put my Whoop bracelet on and he found out how many calories he burns at a game.

He was sitting on his computer eating most of last year.

Yes.

And now he's running around the school, running around the soccer field. And I was like, I saw a picture of his face from a year ago And I was like, holy moly, he's like, totally all thinned out.

I'm like, wow, I guess getting up from the computer is good for him.

Apparently, who would have thought that?

Okay, we need to go with the flow. So I was so upset that it was gonna rain. You should have seen me. Yeah, like, as I think about the stress that I put myself through this past week, And you shared that with me.

Thank you for sharing that.

And I am like, come on, lady, do better next time and go with the flow. And I was trying to move the date and people couldn't do different dates. And I was like, you have a date, you have a cake ordered already. You have to go with that date, deal with the rain and go inside. I wanted them outside. And I was so set on it. And being so set on something doesn't work. So my advice to myself and all of you is sure, we can have plans and we can have outside plans, but things happen and we have to have a backup plan. Yes, I had no backup plan, but I did text the mothers and I was like, I need a backup plan. And my friend came to the rescue. So I asked for help.

Yes, use your supports.

Get over it is my next lesson. So getting past the rain and getting over the rain obviously is number one. Number two, Lily got all stuffed up, and you, if you live near me and your kids are in school, you know what that means. And I was like, darn it, I have to go get her a COVID test, and I don't want to get her a COVID test, and this is ridiculous. And I was all pissed off, and I was like, how is this doing you any Good. You are causing yourself stress. Just get over it. If my children get a symptom, I have to just go get them a COVID test.

She does not have COVID, by the way.

Um, she does not have COVID, thank the Lord.

Yes.

So get over it.

What can you control?

I have to ask myself that because I can't control illness. I can't control weather. But I can control a lot of other things. And when I was pissed off the other day about something else, my mother said, focus on what you can do. And stop focusing on what you can't do. And I was like, oh, there she is with good advice.

Those darn mothers, those mothers knowing everything. I tell you about that.

Well, they do know a lot.

I will tell you that mothers are usually right.

There you go, honey.

So, uh, yes, so Lily's birthday weekend ended with her coming down with something. It's going around the schools, and thankfully Thankfully everyone seems to be testing negative, so that makes me happy. Yes, and it's going around Max's school and it's going around Lily's school, and I don't know, hope— yeah, I think, I think it's going around all the schools. We get them all back together and, oh, Emma says you are a star and don't forget it.

That's so sweet.

Emma is so wonderful, I can't even tell you. She is Um, she's an angel in so many people's lives. She does so much for others, and I hope she did something for herself today. But, um, I certainly know how to stress myself out.

You're very—

yes.

And I certainly know how to spend money.

Yes, you have both of those skills.

I, um, I do, I do think that we should spend money, and I do think we should enjoy our money. Yes. And I don't think money is just for bills and saving.

Living, right?

I do think we need to enjoy it, hence the hot tub.

Yeah, maybe we enjoy it a little less.

Am I spending too much money?

Maybe. So your financial advisor might say that is true.

My financial planner sitting next to me does not love all the money that I'm spending. And I was just telling Max that we still have not had our appointment I've been waiting for you.

You disappeared on me. I asked for an appointment like months ago, and I said okay and brought all the numbers, and they've been on my flash drive ever since, and then you disappeared.

So, you know all those people that he meets with all the time about financial planning?

Not my wife.

We, we don't meet together.

Well, no, we could. I'm waiting for you.

So the good news is that I am meeting with a wonderful lady tomorrow who is going to—

spending money is fun. I do like to spend money. I definitely spent too much money this weekend. Yes, I need to tone it down a little bit.

Yes. So, um, I'm meeting with a wonderful lady tomorrow to talk about money, financial literacy, and to talk about women and financial literacy. So that is going to turn into a fabulous podcast. So I'm excited about that. And I think that I'm gonna benefit a lot because I have a financial planner as a husband, and you do not utilize— so what that, that, what that leads to is that you only live once. Say it. The opposite of frugal is extravagant, but shopping is fun.

Thank you, Kristen and Joette.

Oh my goodness.

Yeah, so you have a financial—

so I have—

that leads to—

and what that leads to is that I have put myself— I, not Seth.

Thank you.

I have put myself out of it.

Yes.

So Seth does everything money-wise, which is not good for women.

And not good for this woman.

No, it's not good for women, period.

Doing stuff—

it—

okay, you're missing word choices, but that's okay.

If you let me explain for a second, maybe you'll understand.

Okay, I'll shut up.

So As women, we need to know— I'm not the only woman in this role, correct? We need to know what's going on, and we need to know about our finances.

Yes.

And I need to know a lot more than I know right now.

Happy to share.

And when we got married— yes, Tayton agrees— yes, when we got married, I paid all the bills, and I knew everything about our finances.

Yes.

And I would get— she knows what I mean. Thank you, Taiten. I would get frustrated with Seth because Seth has multiple accounts. And I would be like, I need money. I need money. Send me money. Because I had bills to pay.

Yes.

And he was like, I felt like if Seth was paying the bills, he would know how much money to put into the account. And I would have— and I wouldn't have to keep going, can you send over money? Can you send over money?

Right.

And it was frustrating. And what that led to is me putting myself out of it, which is very disempowering to me. And I feel ignorant and disempowered. Yes.

So we're also at a different point in our lives. In the beginning, there was always— was money in motion. I mean, there still is, but there was stuff about you never knowing how much was actually in the bank account. The number written in the checkbook wasn't actually the real— always the real number. And that frustrated you. And my ever-fluctuating paycheck in the beginning always frustrated you. Now, were you to put yourself back in a situation, it's much different because we're in a different financial situation, and hopefully that will help reduce some of your stress.

Um, absolutely, but I am not happy with where I have put myself, and I think it's not a good place for women to be in, right? So I think that the steps that I'm taking to meet with Seth Yes. And to meet with Adrian. Yes. And I'm taking steps to educate myself and to be more involved in the finances.

Yes, I would like that very much.

And I did it to myself. This has nothing to do with you.

I know.

It was like me—

I appreciate you owning that.

It was like me going, take over.

You literally— I remember this painfully. You literally threw the checkbook at me.

I'm so sorry.

I said, I give up. I'm done. You do it.

Well, because I was like, send over money.

The line before throwing the check was more of, I don't know what's really in here, you do it.

Yeah, that was like so many years ago. Things have changed.

Yeah, there was one business back then. Now it's much more complicated.

It's—

now it's— yeah, now it's 100 degrees more complicated.

Yes, but in a good way because there's more resources.

So I learned a lot this weekend.

Yes, you did.

And I am happy that—

Joette says, show me the money.

I'm happy that we gave Lily such a special weekend. And I'm happy that I learned from it.

Yes.

And I'm not happy that she got a cold. But I'm happy that it's not COVID.

Very happy about that.

And I'm not happy that it rained.

Yes.

But I need to learn to go with the flow.

So the outdoor plant would have been cheaper than the indoor plant.

Outdoor plants in Buffalo are never a good idea.

They're always subject to the weather.

It's like you don't know if it's gonna be— like today was hot and sunny. You just don't know.

Yeah, there are days I wear my coat to work and then I go out and then it's too hot and I don't need my coat, and then I need it again later.

So yes, um The Bills won. The Bills won. Even it was pouring and the Bills won.

Yes, 40 to 0.

That was awesome. That was fabulous. So, um, we know what you meant.

Yes, the one has a W.

Okay, so, so we just finished our October challenge. Yes, in my Whiny Plus a Mom group. So prizes are going to be going out to lots of winners this month, and I will tell them more about that. And Kristen likes all the W's. And this Friday is like uber exciting to me and special because it's the 1-year anniversary of my podcast.

Congratulations!

And I'm getting all emotional. I knew that was gonna happen.

So, um, you've been at this a year, the podcasting part. We started recording over the summer, right? But I mean, it aired, but it started airing in October, and I'm so proud of it, and I'm so thankful.

Yay, Tayton!

Tayton is my producer of my podcast, and, um, I'm thankful to Seth for pushing me to do it when I told him he was crazy.

Kristen says woohoo!

I think that is wahoo!

Wahoo!

It's a bigger version of woohoo.

And yes, so Kristen and Tayton and Jamie were actually on my first podcast one year ago. And it has been such an amazing year and I'm so thankful for it. I can't believe I had no idea the self, self growth that I was going to have over this year.

You should have me do a separate testimonial for our service on not just the business related aspect, but on do the podcast because it'll grow you as a person.

But I didn't know that's what I was signing up for, right? I was signing up for content. I was signing up to provide you with content. And even though I know a lot of it, to discuss it and to remind myself and to go over things and talk to like-minded people has been So amazing. I just don't even know the word for it. And I had no idea I was going to love it so much. I'm so glad. And so thank you for the suggestion.

You are welcome, honey.

I did tell you that you were crazy.

I did. Maybe the next one you won't tell me I'm crazy.

So every time Seth comes to me with something like, oh, you're going to publish a book. And I'm like, oh my God, he's so crazy. Like, he comes up with these things like you're going to design a course or you're going to, you know, whatever he comes to me with. You know, now it's, um, you're gonna have an app.

I, I wasn't sure if we were allowed to announce that yet. It was tested today.

I didn't watch my videos.

It was tested today, so now it is ready for you to test it, and if you approve, we can actually launch it. So there's going to be a Winey Palooza app for personal growth.

Another chapter idea. I love it. I also was thinking that I need a blog on financial literacy with what we were talking about.

I am sure you could turn the episode with Adrian into a blog.

So Jamie is here too. I've got all three of them from book club.

This is like, this is like amazing, especially since this is the one-year anniversary.

So they tuned in at the right time.

Um, so thank you, book club.

Oh my gosh, look at me.

Stop. Um, so thank you, book club, for being my first podcast. Um, you totally made my day being here and being on my podcast twice, and you know I'll have you back a third time.

So we'll never get away.

So tune in for the one-year anniversary.

The Golden Girls are here! I love the Golden Girls.

Um, I should say I love my Golden Girls.

Yes, not the Golden Girls on TV.

So, um, please listen to the podcast. Yes. And, um, it would mean so much to me if you would rate it, subscribe to it, and review it.

5 stars.

Because what happens is then they show it to more people.

Apple shows it to more— the more reviews she gets, the more Apple shares it.

So anything else?

Well, you talked about that there's an app coming, so that was the only thing I was gonna say. So I think you're good.

Hey, Alabella! She's coming to sing us out. So Another birthday completed in the green home.

Yes. Um, congrats, says Joette. You guys are great, but frozen on my screen. I, I can't help tech support your screen, but thank you.

Thank you, Joette.

Joette has been so supportive.

Yes.

Um, over this past year.

Yes.

And I really appreciate her and everyone else who's watching.

Yes.

Thank you, Jamie.

'We pay a lot of money for help like that. Make sure you value his talents, especially because it's free. Don't undervalue his advice because you're not paying for it,' says Linda. Thank you, Linda.

Linda, I want to tell you something. I want to— I want to tell you a little— I want to tell you a little something, Linda.

So yes, I get amazing free services.

However, all of that money that I earn goes into our checking account.

So every time Seth works for free, or his company works for free, they're making us money.

Yes.

So he benefits from it.

I do benefit. It does bring money back to us.

I do appreciate it.

Yes, you do.

100%.

Yes.

In fact, I had a podcast guest who said— who had me on. No, I was a podcast guest.

Yes, you were interviewed.

I was interviewed. And the wonderful lady said to me, now my podcast You're not gonna get the same things that Seth does for you. Seth gives you an amazing product.

And I went, yes, yes he does.

Thank you. Who would I— would like to send a thank you note to that nice lady.

That's Emma Lou. Did I not tell you that?

You did not tell me that.

Oops. Okay, I'll tell you.

Hi, Emma.

I'll tell you more after.

Okay.

Okay, so Ella, sing us out, baby cakes.

Thank you for watching Whiny Blues on Wednesday with the Green Family.

Bye.

Bye.

Have a good week.