Whinypaluza My Yo Yo Weight

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday. Ella, bring us in. Lily, be our little dancer. Come on, Elle. <LYRICS>Winey Palooza Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Green family.</LYRICS> Okay, but they can't see Ella when you do that. We've got to work out the kinks to our beginning, but we have a singer and a dancer going on. Thank you, girls. Don't go you guys can leave, but you can't go too far for the ending, okay? Did everybody stay cool today? If you live near me, it was a super hot day. Lily, you cannot stay in here. Okay, go.

Just leave the TV the way it is and go home.

I am. So my topic today is my yo-yo weight. And I really debated doing this topic. You coming next to me for support?

I am for support.

Love and support.

Love and support.

There's my supportive husband.

I would be the supportive husband.

Okay, we'll come back to you.

All right, this is supportive husband.

Stay next to me. So I really debated doing this topic because it is such a sensitive topic. And for me, if you are a woman out there who goes up and down like I do with my weight, then you understand where I'm coming from.

My husband does not understand at all, is not the one to talk to.

Seth— since I have met Seth, it has been 16 years.

Why do you say that like it's a question and you're not sure?

We've been together for like 16 years. And through those 16 years, I have routinely been trying to lose weight, and he has routinely been trying to gain weight.

Drives her crazy.

So you can imagine her frustration, my frustration. So, so Seth— hello everyone, I'm waving— so Seth will tell me that he can't gain weight. You can imagine how, how empathetic I am. Not at all.

She had no sympathy for me. Can you believe that? No sympathy for this poor guy who can eat whatever he wants and he just doesn't gain enough weight. It's terrible. How come there's not a support group for me?

Get out of here. Seth just had his second dinner, so I want him to go away. Was that your second or third dinner?

That was my second dinner.

I am fantastic at losing weight. If you want to lose weight and you are struggling, I am your woman. I have— it's been 20 years of me going up and down, um, a lot of weight up and down. So I, I feel as though I am absolutely a pro at losing the weight, and I could tell you a million ways to do it, which we will talk about. I am not a pro at maintenance. I will— not yet, but I'm going to master maintenance.

There you go, positive.

So I am making positive habits every day, and I'm not perfect every day. I think one of my lessons through this roller coaster is that I will expect complete and total perfection from myself, and perfection is leading to failure. Because what happens is, if you go off that perfection ride, yeah, then you say forget it, I suck, I'm done, forget it, I can't do this, I'm done with what I'm doing. And then I go the other way and it starts to creep up. And I am making positive habits every day that I would like to turn into habits that I do for the rest of my life and not just for 6 months I had a time period for 7 months where I lost 84, 87 pounds, and I was so focused and so determined and so perfect, and then totally fell off because it was too perfect. It was, it was too hard. And I think that what I'm finding through my journey, because this is a journey, this is a journey for me.

I think that you, you said it was too hard.

I think He doesn't.

You believe.

Don't, don't.

You chose to believe it was too hard.

Okay, you don't understand, so we're not gonna listen to this stuff. So through my journey, what I am learning is that I think one of the keys to maintenance, which I will discover with a lot of you who are probably trying to discover it too, is that I can't expect myself to be completely and totally perfect. I can't expect myself to be healthy. I wanna be healthy for myself, and I wanna be healthy for my husband and for my children, and I wanna live a long life. And, you know, 20, 21, 22, 23-year-old me who was dieting wanted to just look good. I wanted to look good, and I was very— what is the word— superficial.

Yes, vain. And for the record, you are beautiful no matter what you weigh.

So we will get to that comment in a minute because I appreciate it. Um, but 43-year-old me sitting here talking to you cares so much more about my health and so much less about what I look like. I am not upset. I'm going to be completely raw and honest. I am not upset when I look in the mirror. I'm upset when I get on the scale. When I get on the scale, I say, oh my God, how did this happen? Well, I'll tell you how it is.

It's a mystery.

I have Comic Relief sitting next to me.

You did, you did ask for that.

I, I, you know, he thinks he's funny, but he really is. So, shh, don't tell anybody. So one of my issues is, um, I know you're gonna all relate to all of this. I will avoid the scale like it is the plague. I think that if I avoid the scale, it goes away. Don't say anything.

Oh, but come on, I got like 3 ready to go right from here.

So I think, I think that if I don't see it, it's not real, which So not true. So then eventually when I get on it, because I haven't been watching and monitoring, then I'm like totally shocked, which is like so ridiculous. If I get on the scale regularly and have a regular weigh-in, then I'm not like shocked when I get on the scale. So issue, my issue number 1, regular weigh-ins. Stop avoiding the scale. Issue number 2. I will say something about my husband.

I didn't do it.

My thin husband. I have noticed that he eats a lot, a lot, but he eats small bits all day.

Yeah.

So it may seem like a ton of food, but he's eating a little bit, and he can just have a little taste of something and he doesn't like gorge himself.

I actually had one chocolate chip cookie and I actually had one potato chip to win a bet.

Fabulous.

Now I'm annoying you.

Yep.

It's a fine line between funny and annoying, folks. It's a tough crowd.

So number 2, smaller portions. Okay.

Yes.

Yes. Number 3, you don't need my approval for any of this, but yes, amen.

Preaching to the choir.

I'm preaching.

Hallelujah.

We all know how to lose weight. We all know how to lose weight.

We just don't do it.

I, well, I wouldn't say that I don't do it. I think I'm a pro at it.

Okay, I can't see you.

Can you get closer?

You want me closer, but you keep flicking me off, so it's a fine—

I'm like, go away, come back, go away, come back.

I can't, I have it both ways. No, I, if you— I, I don't— yes, labeling yourself at a pro at losing weight is a positive. However, it's not enough to lose it. You actually have to keep it off.

Do you think that I don't know that?

What does the scale say?

I, I know that I—

you opened this can of worms, Pandora.

Okay, Pandora, go away.

See, I've been kicked off again.

So one of— so one of the rules that Seth has is Seth sucks. Seth is not allowed to talk about this topic.

This is the only time in 16 years— if she's live, she can't yell at me too much. That's why I said, like, come on, for the sanctity. I'll get punished later of our marriage.

It is not for him to talk to me about this.

Are you really going to eat that? Not allowed to say that.

Oh my God, no, kill me. No, I would go to get a cookie and my father would say, do you really want to eat that? I don't want a husband like that.

He was right.

Shut up.

But he was. You technically don't want to eat that and you apparently forgot that you don't want to eat that.

So I've been doing this.

I'm not allowed to say anything.

Okay, so what I love about Seth.

And what I don't love.

Seth loves me very much, and of course love means you want your partner to be healthy. But what I love about Seth is that, um, he truly believes— I'm not telling you that I want to be fat or that I want to be heavy, that's not what this is about— but he truly believes that if I'm heavy, I'm beautiful, and if I'm thin, I'm beautiful. And he has never made me feel like I'm not beautiful. So gorgeous. I I sincerely appreciate that about you.

Thank you.

I don't— I think that— I think that Seth's underlying issue, which is my issue too, is that I want to be healthy, and healthy is not overweight. So I appreciate that he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. So that is big husband points. Yay, husband points!

I'm losing them through this whole interview, but that's okay.

Husband points number 2 is that this topic is not for him. Yeah, I know, Brandy, I love it too. He is a good husband. I'll keep him better. So, um, you know, my, my brother can tell me and has told me that I'm fat. He can be hard on me. Other people can be hard on me. Just not me. My parents and my husband, it doesn't go well. So my brother has sent me stuff in the mail. He has sent me juice diets that we—

See, his sneaky way in is he's like, hey, we're going to do a cleanse together. I sent you a box of stuff. Or hey, guess what? We're doing a water fast today. He doesn't ask her. He just says, hey, we're doing a water cleanse today. I can't do that because I'm not buying diet products.

No, so he— my brother will say, we're doing a water cleanse for one day, you can do one day. And then the next day he'll say, nope, we're doing two days. And then the next day, very sneaky, and then the next day he'll say, we're doing three days.

I'm a doctor, so I can supervise this because he's, you know, okay.

Anyways, my brother can give me a hard time and he does care and he does understand. I think that part of why I can take it from him is because he understands And he, he tries so hard to be healthy.

Yes.

And tries so hard to be a fit, healthy weight.

Yes.

And he understands me better than anybody because I think we have similar—

you grew up in the same house. That could help him understand you.

Yes. So, um, if you have struggled, if you have gone up and down, you probably know that you're not alone, and you probably know that other people around you are struggling too, or have had the struggle, and we don't tend to talk about it. And this is, this is a hard topic for me to discuss.

I'm very proud of you for talking openly. So normally it's taboo.

This, this— I don't want this to be, to be a taboo topic. I want— my mission is always to be helpful, and I want you to know that part of being helpful is showing, sharing my successes, but part of being helpful is sharing my failures, challenges, opportunities, opportunities. So I'm, I'm learning along the way. I'm hoping to master this. I'm one of those people who, um, you know, if you think about an alcoholic, they'll fall off the wagon.

Yeah.

Okay, so I've always looked at it like Food, sugar is my drug. People have all different kinds of drugs, and I think— Drugs are bad. I think that, you know, some people turn to actual drugs, some people turn to pills, some people turn to alcohol, some people turn to sweets. My drug is food, and I have always been a stress eater. I will feel anxious, lonely, stressed, Bored, upset, celebrating, angry, sad, mad.

Basically any emotion is an excuse to eat.

So I will, I remember saying to Seth, I'm sorry that you're not in, honey.

You pushed me away again.

I was mad. I was mad. I'll push you away if you say the wrong thing.

It's a good time over here at Why People Lose on Wednesdays.

I love you so much. So much. I don't love you with this topic. I— okay, I always love you. I always love you. I don't love talking about weight with you. No, you cannot. If you're me, you don't want to talk to thin man over here. Thin muscular man over here. Where was that?

Look at the muscles. Don't talk to him.

What was I saying?

Uh, sugar, uh, food was your drug.

Food is my—

any emotion is a reason to eat.

So I started real— I said to Seth at one point in our 16 years that food has always been there for me.

Yeah.

And it started to feel like it was like my friend. And fish are friends, not food. It was like, I was like, no, like sugar is like my enemy, not my friend. Like you are my enemy. You are making me blow up. This is not good. This is not a friend.

Nope.

Oh my God, I'm trying, Seth. I'm sorry, you're so distracting. I'm sorry, you're distracting in a wonderful funny way.

That's great.

So, um, okay girls, we're not gonna fight while I'm live. You can fight when I'm done.

We gotta schedule that.

I got a few more minutes and you can fight. Is she crying?

Okay, you keep going.

Okay, we might have to end whiny palooza for a sister fight.

They're not even in the same room.

Okay. Oh my God, drama in the greenhouse. So girls, um, I'm sorry that I'm losing my thoughts, but food is not your friend. Food is not my friend. Food is causing the issues, and I don't want to turn to food for every feeling that I'm having, especially the negative feelings. I don't want it to be like a feeling thing. I want it to be like a fuel thing. Like, I want to think about you know, is this food that I'm about to eat gonna make me healthy or is it gonna make me unhealthy? And I'm trying really hard to be mindful.

Yep.

In many areas of my life. I get reactive with my kids, I get reactive with my husband, and I get reactive with my food. So I think that if I can rein it all in and be mindful of all of that, I'm gonna have a lot of success in my life.

I'm gonna talk about what you mean by reactive with your food. That's really interesting.

Reactive with my food, like I'm so angry, react and eat.

Ah, okay.

Like it's not, it's not like a mindful thing, it's like a mindless anger reactive thing, or a stressed reactive thing.

Okay, that makes sense.

So very interesting. So the interesting thing is I think it's all a reactive thing, and we want to be responsive and mindful and, and the opposite of reactive. So I think we want to be proactive. So the more we can rein in our brain— that's why I think that I keep saying I'm going to meditate. You've heard me talk about that. I think it's going to help me in every single area that I struggle with.

Yes.

So tomorrow I'm going to meditate. Yes, I'm going to start tomorrow. And I think as I as I pull control of my brain, it's going to help me with everything. And I'm hoping that you are going to see, see me go down and down and down to a healthier me.

Yes.

And I hope that you are going to join me. I am here for you all. You can reach out to me anytime. You know that I'm— I don't want to use the word struggling. I'm journeying. I'm journeying with you. So if you are like me And if you need support or inspiration or to cry or to scream or whatever, I am here for you. And I, um, understand. And I wish you luck on your health journeys. And I would love to hear from you. Share with me your successes, share with me your struggles, um, inspire me or ask for help. Um, I appreciate you being here with me. This is a sensitive topic for me, and I can't believe that I did this today. So, um, I'm trying to be open and honest. So, ladies, you're gonna close up for me? Seth, do you have anything to say?

You did a great job.

Are you good?

I am good.

I, I think the ladies might be gone. Ladies, Ella, come on, hurry up, we're waiting. Thank you for watching. Thank you for watching Whiny Palooza Wednesday with the Green Family. Okay, come do a little dance. Oh my God, they're fighting. I hope no one's fighting in your house. See you, see you next week.