Whinypaluza Wednesday Does Rebecca Work

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday!

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday!

How is everybody doing? Oh, it's actually dark out. I was gonna say it's 9 o'clock and it's not dark out, but we're not there yet. Yeah, but we're getting there. Yes, and the weather is nicer and I am in sundress, flip-flop, tanning, checked out mode, summer mode. So Seth and I had a lunch date today I snuck out for lunch. And I said to him, I just want to like give you a heads up about something. And I want to let you know that, you know, that wife who like makes lists and plows through lists every day, she's kind of left the building a little bit. And I can feel summer me coming on. And like I had a list to do today and I was like, I just want to go sit outside. So in Buffalo, New York, where we are, it is not nice out the whole year, right? So when it is nice out and when it is the summer, I like to soak it up and I like to be outside and I like to do things outside and I like to read my book outside and I like to rest outside. And I definitely don't feel like productive me. So I gave Seth the warning.

I got the warning.

I'm like, I might not clean as much. I might not cook as much.

Fine with me.

I'm trying to stay on top of cooking because I'm trying to eat super strict and healthy, and you're doing a great— harder to do at restaurants.

Yes.

And it's easier to do in my own kitchen.

Yes.

So I am trying to push myself to cook almost every day and save us money because ordering out is a fortune.

I did not ask you to, but I appreciate it. So I think there's a very important question to ask.

I was just gonna tell them the topic. So the topic this week is laughable, and it is, does Rebecca work?

Rebecca, do you work?

So before we answer that question, what came to me when we were going live is, forget the paycheck, forget the social work. I have never stopped working. If you are a stay-at-home mother You are working hard.

So yes, but people don't ask that question about you being a stay-at-home mother. No, they ask if you work about work.

So we've got the kid stuff and the house stuff that is work that I don't get paid for, but that is very loved and appreciated.

Yes.

Then we have the actual job. Now mind you, I'm not trying to argue with you, but I did have someone post today that being a mom is a career.

I agree 100%. Okay, so, but that's not what people ask.

So people are so confused about my work. I'm a social worker, okay? I went to school for 6 years at UB, got your master's. I got my undergrad in psychology, I got my master's in social work, and yes, I got a traditional therapy job, working in the field with clients. And then I had Max. And a lot of you know this story, that I looked into Max's eyes and cried for the next 8 to 12 weeks.

Yes.

And I didn't want to leave him. And I put all this pressure on my wonderful husband that I didn't want to go back to work and that I wanted to stay home with Max. And I did, I did write about this in detail in my blog at wineandpluza.com if you want to read it. And in my blog I said that— oh shoot, I lost my thought. Hold on.

You didn't want to go back to work.

I didn't want to go back to work. I wanted to stay home with Max. Oh, what I wrote about in my blog is that in my defense, my entire paycheck— most of my paycheck would have gone to daycare.

A lot of it.

We would have had some left over.

We never priced it.

We— I'm telling you, a lot of my paycheck would have gone to daycare.

Understood.

So I was home with our kids for a while. Everybody knows that having kids is stressful. Everybody knows that having little kids is very stressful. 3 little kids, writing about my stress, venting it out. One of my biggest coping strategies is writing. If you don't write, try it. Get it all— get it all out and see how much better you feel. So I wrote it all out. Day in and day out. And Seth, what happened then?

I said, wow, I bet you other mothers would resonate with this. You should turn this into a blog.

And I said, what is a blog?

It's like an online journal, an online log, an online diary.

So we— so Winey Palooza was born.

That's not true. Can I throw you on?

My mom blog was born.

Can I throw you under the bus?

Yeah.

Okay, so I told you you should blog and you said, "I don't have—" First, after I told you what a blog was, you said, "I don't have time." And then I asked you again. I was writing anyway. I said, "Write." You said, "I don't have time. I'm just writing for myself." And I said, "You should really turn it into a blog." "No, no, no, I don't have time." And then some time passes and your brother happened to be visiting and somehow the topic came up of you writing or whatever and what you were writing about. And he said, "You should turn that into a blog." And you said, "Oh my God, that's a brilliant idea. I totally gonna—" First you said you didn't have time. And then he said, "You got so many, you're already ahead. You could be a few weeks ahead and have plenty of time to write the next one." And you said, "Oh my God, that's a brilliant idea. I'll blog." And I hit myself in the head saying, "I said that like 5 times already, but you had to hear it from someone else." So then you were like, "Let's turn it into a blog, honey." And that's what started.

Okay, so I do not remember this at all.

Of course not. I have the emotional scar. I am so sorry that I scarred you.

I feel very bad. Really bad. So I give Seth the credit for my career right now.

Yeah, okay, so I don't— I want the credit. I, I don't want the credit for the content. I'll shut up.

Don't even, because we're gonna go there, so don't give it away.

Okay, I'm not giving it away.

Okay, so Seth is the mastermind behind my new age job. New age social work. Yes, is this job that I do was not— nonexistent when I was in school. Nobody was doing this. So you started blogging. I am sorry, I don't remember this. Sometimes it has nothing to do that it was Corey. It could have been my friend, it could have been my mom. Sometimes you have to hear things more than once from other people. Yeah. So I'm sorry, it's okay. Thank you for the blog. You're welcome. The blog has been going strong for for 10 years. Yep. And it comes out every Wednesday, and that's where Winey Palooza Wednesday comes from. Where did the name Winey Palooza come from?

We were trying to come up with a name, and at the time when you were writing, started, when we were turning it into a blog, our kids were little and it seemed like we were always going to somebody's birthday party. There was always a party and our kids were little, so they whined a lot. So we were, they were always whining, there was always a party. And I think it might have been when we were brainstorming names, Ella might have come up with it, um, and said Whiny Palooza. So it's whiny palooza all over the place.

So the kids are always whining and we're always going to a birthday party equals Whiny Palooza. Yes. Things have changed. Yes. The kids are not always whining and we are not always going to a birthday party. So, you know, I have told Seth many times that I want to change the name, and every time I say I want to change the name, somebody gets on my podcast and says I wanted to talk to you because of your name, and I tell them that I want to change it, and they say, do not change the name. So if you're listening, do you think that I should change the name?

Okay, well, you need to brainstorm another one. It needs to be an either/or, not a should I change it, what to, it depends.

Okay, so I, I'm a busy mom of 3 young kids. I'm writing a blog, it's coming out every Wednesday. Yeah.

And then Seth says, well, we got you to be one of the top 100 mommy blogs in the country. That kind of helped.

Do you want me to tell them what you said next, or do you want to do it? No, you can tell them. So next Seth said, "We should turn this into a vlog." And I said—

What's a vlog? What is a vlog? And I said, "It's a video version of the blog, and you could go live on Facebook every week and talk about it, because some people would prefer to read it and some people would prefer to see you and get the chance to interact with you." So every Wednesday I write about a topic, and then every Wednesday night we talk about the topic.

Yes. And we were finding that people were liking the vlog even better than the blog.

And then there's our witty banter and interaction that does not happen on the printed word.

So, so the printed word is just me. Yeah, sometimes we go back and forth and do our own blog together.

Yeah, I haven't written a guest blog in a long time.

We should do like a He Says, She Says blog.

That's a good idea. You came up with the idea, you get all the credit for that one. That was pretty good. There's your new domain, he said, she said.

I come up with ideas. Yes, you do. Okay, Seth is the idea master. So I'm doing the vlog, I'm doing the vlog, and he's like, you should write a book. And I'm like, what on earth is this man talking about? Does he know how busy I am with our 3 little kids? Whiny Palooza, the first book, comes out. Whiny Palooza Gets Less Whiny, the second book, comes out. I think Whiny Palooza Gets Less Whiny was after the podcast started. Yes. So Seth says— Seth has 4 companies, working on more, and he has a business that produces tons of podcasts, successful podcasts. And he says to me one day, I don't know where this came from, Seth, you should have a podcast, you would be so good at it. Where did that come from?

I got a long list of future ideas for you. Okay. I just parcel them out one at a time when you're not as overwhelmed.

So I am totally overwhelmed by the idea. I think he's crazy, and I'm like, how am I gonna fit this into my crazy life? And you're laughing if you have a full-time job, but I felt busy, and I was like, you know what, give it a try. Push yourself, take a risk. When I take risks and chances, it tends to pay off. And I am telling you, if you are questioning yourself and hesitating on a risk. Take the risk, push yourself. This is how we grow. This is how our life gets better. So I opened my arms to this podcast. I learned the technology. Technology and me have had some issues. I learned the technology behind the podcast. That was huge for me. I started doing podcasts by myself. The first few, I made Seth come home and help me because I was so nervous and I don't know how to do it. He teaches me me. He's patient, he's understanding. I do the podcast, I love it, and I realize I really enjoy this. I like talking to experts on parenting and marriage and learning more. And guess what? I grow as a person talking to experts every week. So win-win all over the place. The podcast grows, the blog grows, the vlog grows, and then Mr. Green says You should have a newsletter. And I'm like, he said his ideas don't stop, people. So now Winey Palooza has a newsletter that comes out every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 3 times a week. All of my links and everything is at wineypalooza.com, so you can find everything there. So yes, I make money from the blog, the vlog, the podcast, the newsletter. People don't understand that. I get asked questions all the time. Nobody understands. When I explain it, they still don't understand. I think it depends on how old the person is who's asking you the question. I think that, you know, even people my age don't understand. Oh, okay.

So I haven't been with you for that conversation, but I've seen a couple older generation folks ask the question.

So, you know, let's give some giant kudos to my mother for following everything I do and understanding everything I do, but I would say the grandparents really struggle to understand what I do. Yes. Um, your mom asks me questions. Yes, my dad asks me questions. Joe was like, what did you—

he said, do you, you work?

He didn't mean it like that. He said it and then he realized he didn't mean it like that. And I think my father-in-law has no idea where to even begin to ask me questions about work. It's like, I'm not in an office, I'm not in school, so they don't know what I do or what to ask, and they don't understand. So I get asked the question so many times that I got frustrated, and I said, I'm gonna write, I'm gonna explain, and the next time somebody asks me, I'm gonna watch this video, the blog, or the vlog, or both. And so, Seth, yes, how does the blog, the vlog, the podcast, and the newsletter make money?

So Rebecca has advertisers and sponsors across all 4 platforms that pay her either based on the number of people who see it or the number of people who click and interact with her content.

Okay, so blog, vlog, pod— there's one more that we didn't discuss.

And for example, like, the podcast ads are based on how many people listen to her show. The vlog ads are based on how many people, you know, her 3 million views over the years on Facebook. Her newsletter is based on how many people click a link from an advertiser and go to their website in a newsletter issue.

So what on earth did I just say? Oh, there's a— there's one other thing. So, you know, we talked about the master's degree that I, that I have. Yes. And all of the problems that I have helped people deal with, which leads to my fifth job. Yes. Of Seth comes to me, you know, he has 4 companies, and Seth comes to me with work issues. I don't want to say frequently because I don't want you to have work issues frequently. I don't want to have any, but it's not just a wife-husband, like, let me vent session. Seth will say, it's time solving this problem. It's time for you to put on your HLR consultant hat. Yes. And what that means is it's time for Rebecca to work, and we discuss work issues and how to handle them.

Yes, I say, don't listen as my wife, I need my HR consultant to help me work on this.

And the wife has to try to— he has an HR person, but the wife has to try to go away because you don't always want the wife who's protective and defensive, right?

And you have personal relationships with a number of my staff members So the fact of the matter is that I—

he also pays me for consulting, for HR consulting. You get paid for one other thing too. Okay, go ahead and explain the sixth thing.

You are part of our research and development team. You are our guinea pig. Every idea I come up with, we most of the time we test them on— you are willing to be tested on first, and then if it works, we roll it out to other clients.

So it is a wonderful position to be in, to be his wife. And, you know, we work together well as husband and wife. We work together well with our kids. We also have a work life together that a lot of you don't realize, that pretty much everything I do is with Seth's companies. Yes. So when I talk to all of these experts and they're like, who's marketing? Who's producing? Who's editing? Like, who's doing this all for you? You know, I have access to 4 companies and Seth has all these ideas and his brain doesn't stop and he's gonna come to me, you know, in the next 10 years he's gonna have 10 more ideas. Like, God knows what I'm gonna be doing 10 years from now. So we went on a walk and And I said to him, I've been doing the math and I've been figuring out about Max going to college and how many clients I would need to see every day to pay for college.

Regular therapy clients.

So I was like, I have been doing math and figuring out like how many people, you know, people need therapists. There's waiting lists everywhere. I get asked about therapy all the time. Like, do you know a good therapist? Are you taking clients? Blah blah blah. So I said, I did the math and I figured out I need to take 3 clients a day to pay for college for Max.

And Seth said, what if I could show you a better way to make more money in less time?

So Seth has— so, so you see that I come up with traditional ideas of how people think of me, and Seth is so much more new age than I am. Like, I can't keep up with, you know, he's, you know, it's so funny, but somebody was talking to me about AI the other day. Like, I had never heard of it before, and that was their assumption. Yeah. And they were like, I gotta tell you about what I learned the other day. And I was like, and I was like, Seth figured that out ages ago and taught me all about that. So the point is that that I call myself the content master. Yes, but Seth is the mastermind behind all of the ideas, right?

But they wouldn't go anywhere without your amazing content.

And I knew you were going to say that, but I will say I wouldn't have thought of a blog, a vlog, a podcast, a newsletter, an HR consultant.

Um, it might have happened anyway just because you're married to me and you're a therapist.

Well, so Yes, I've been doing HR consulting for— how many years has your business been open? Uh, when did the first one start? 2007. Um, so when Max was born, when Max was born. So he has more ideas, he started sharing more ideas with me, I have more ideas. So yes, I work. Yes, I have multiple sources of income. Sources of income. Yes, I contribute to the family's bills. Many, many family bills. We have lots of them. And I said to Seth, I was like, well, what if we just take my paycheck and pay for college? And he was like, no, no, no, no, no, paycheck is already going towards this. Your paycheck is already being used for this, this, and this. So I will continue to increase the paycheck and increase my jobs as our bills go up because we will have Max in college, then we will have Max and Ella in college.

Then we will have Ella and Lily in college.

It's, it's gonna be an interesting— how many years of college do we have ahead of us? 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. 9 years of college. 9 years of college to pay for. Good times.

We can do it.

We can do this. We can do this. And I'm motivated. And as the kids get older, I have more time to work. So that works, right? Yes. So I thought it was funny. I was asked this weekend if I worked, led to the blog, led to my frustration that I get tired of explaining what I do.

Welcome to my world, honey.

Well, so, okay, I was thinking about this today, and I was thinking about how hard it is for people to understand some of the stuff that I do. I mean, podcasting is becoming very, like, well-known.

Yes, there are 1.8 million shows.

So half of them, I was thinking about Max trying to explain his project to me, and, and I, and I fast-forwarded to 10 years from now and pictured having a conversation with him and asking him about his job, and my eyes glazing over. And I was like, it's not just like it made me feel understood and normalized that it's not just my job. Like my job language doesn't necessarily fit for everybody, and Max's job language doesn't fit for everybody. So Max is going to have some data science career, and I'm going to say, Max, what are you working on? Tell me what's going on. And he's going to have all these science terms vomit out of his mouth, and I'm gonna try really hard to learn and understand what he's doing. Yeah, so it's not just me. Other people feel the same way. Yes. So hopefully you understand what I do, and you understand that I work. No, it is not full-time. No, I don't track my hours. Tracking my hours would be really freaking interesting because we should get you on Harvest, our time tracker. Oh my God, it would take so It's so much work, and I'll tell you why. I could do it. I could do it. It would maybe be worth it to see how many hours a week I work. I'd be very curious. I'm just telling you that I am fitting it in, in straight— like, I'm working in the car, I'm working on the couch, I'm working.

Yeah, but you could just log into our app and log your time. It sounds like— let's try it just for the heck of it. See, there's another idea, honey.

Yeah, but that doesn't pay me anything.

No, but It'd be— I— it, it would inform some things. Okay, you could use to make money.

What is the goal? Why do I need to know how many hours a week I work?

I'd like to see what you're— based on your current income, what your time is worth per hour, and then how— figure out how we make it worth more. What gets measured gets improved.

Okay. Oh, that's interesting. I like that. Okay, so is the goal to work less, or what is the goal?

Work less, make more.

So I think that the disconnect that I just want to explain to you is that people think that you have to work more hours, and I will tell you that I'm working probably half of what I did when I was working as a therapist and making more money, a lot more money. So I'm just saying, yes, I, I also wasn't doing a private practice, I was working for an agency. So private practice practitioners are making a heck of a lot more than I was at an agency. So how did I do? Did I explain it well?

I think you did a great job.

Is there anything else you want to add? I don't think so. There is more to come. Oh, I want to do a podcast book next.

That's next. Yes, we would love for you to use our process. Adrian, if you're still watching, we need to do a Winey Palooza podcast book.

I want to pick How many?

10? 10 to 12, depending on how long your interviews are.

So I need to pick about 10 of my interviews, which is going to be— how do you pick? How do you pick?

Well, see, you're waiting until you've done years and years and years. So when you have 200 episodes, it'd be a lot harder to pick 10 than if you had 50 and you only have to pick 10. So yes, you're gonna have to go through your list of 200 or so, however many hundred episodes you've ever done.

350.

Oh my God, has it been that long? 350? I think. And pick your top 10.

I have to pick 10 from like 350?

Or you could just do one from this season, 10 from this season. Oh yeah, that makes it easier. But there might be people that you interviewed in season 1 that you're like, hey, they have a large following, I would love to get them to promote it. I can think of some people from season 1 off the top of my head who should be in the book, if for no other reason than the fact that them sharing it would sell a whole lot of copies for you.

You're funny. You see, you see his brain. You see how his brain works. So I have learned a lot. I have learned a lot about marketing. I have learned a lot about business. I think one of the things I bond with most with the experts that I talk to is that we are therapists. Almost everybody I talk to is a therapist and they don't know anything about marketing and business. So they need people like Seth.

Okay, Adrian says, I love this conversation. My parents worked 70 years together. They would have loved both of you. I have a few ideas. Oh, thank you so much, Adrian. That's so sweet.

That's so sweet. Um, I love working with Seth. I love how his brain works. I think that we complement each other, right? Yes.

Um, Adrian says you did do a summit. We forgot about the summit.

Oh, Adrian, I forgot about the summit. So the summit made money too.

It did. Last year we did a parenting and marriage summit and we had like 500 women attend that.

Oh my God, that was So much fun. That was so much work for you, but that was so much fun.

Well, I am sure if we did another one— I did record a whole lot of parts of the process, and Adrian and I can do a kick-butt job together.

I don't know that Adrian wants more work to do, but it was awesome. And I forgot that I, I didn't put that in.

Just do the summit book. You could just turn the summit into a book. Um, you need to do it again in real life as opposed to an online summit. I would love to put hundreds of women in a room for you to do a summit.

I have a vision. Yes, she does.

She loves working.

Adrian, you're awesome. You are so appreciated by both of us. I have a vision of a retreat, doing things with women, um, you know, workshops. Yes, I've got lots of ideas, lots of ideas. A retreat would be amazing. So lots of stuff to come. Yeah. And thank you for all the content that you watch and listen to and read. And thank you for sharing this with a friend who might want to learn about different ways of working, because you can do this with any career. That is correct.

You don't need to be a social worker.

You can be— you can be an accountant, a lawyer, a financial planner. We have clients in all those professions doing this model. A dentist. Yep. So this was fun and hopefully enlightened some people, and hopefully I will get less questions. I welcome your questions. You can ask me questions. I'm happy to answer. I will be patient and understanding and explain it to you as many times as you need.

Text you the link to this video.

And yes, that's a great idea. And this Friday on the podcast is Kimberly Mann's field. And we talked about co-parenting with peace. And I know that whether you're, whether you're married or not married— if you're not married, it helps you co-parent with your other parent. If you're married, it still helps you co-parent better. We're always trying to be good co-parents. Yes, right? Yes.

And what else do we need to tell them? Is there a— did you— did the May challenge already, right?

I did the May challenge.

Give away a prize.

Well, I gave Yes, I dropped off a prize. That was the Mother's Day challenge. We'll do a June challenge, and we've got, you know, all the links at winifluza.com. So go find the Linktree with all the links, join the newsletter, listen to the podcast, listen to the vlog, or watch the vlog. There you go. Um, read the blog, share it with a friend, and on the podcast This is my question for you. I'm still learning about this because I'm not saying it enough. They need to—

I need them to, you know, give it stars, rate, review, like, share, and subscribe.

Wait, rate, review, like, share, subscribe? Yep. How do you like a podcast? You rate it.

Oh, okay, we're talking podcast, not social media. So yes, um, rate, review, share, and subscribe.

Wow, I gotta learn. I gotta, I gotta get better at that. He still spits it out better than I do. So thank you for joining us and have a fantastic week, and we will see you next week.

Happy Winey Blues on Wednesday.