Whinypaluza Wednesday - The Four R’s

Hello everyone, happy Whiny Palooza Wednesday. Lily, will you bring us in please? Uh-huh.

It's Whiny Palooza Wednesday, so have some wine and join us on Whiny Palooza Wednesday with the Green Family.

Cha-cha chicken.

Cha-cha chicken. Cha-cha chicken.

Okay sweetheart, will you stay close so that I can call you to sing at the end? Don't go far.

I'll play with my baby doll.

Okay, don't go far. Come on over, Seth Green.

Yes, dear.

So, so, started out our show without our teenager. I guess she's not a teenager yet.

She's a tweenager.

So when she wants to sing, she'll be here, and when she doesn't want to sing, she won't be here. The joys of raising tweens. So should we start with— we're gonna start with— I realized that Seth does not know how new a lot of us are. She want— Linda wants to be in our video.

You can let her be in the video.

Linda, what are— what is she coming on the video for?

We're gonna find out.

I don't know that she meant to do that. Okay, hold on. Let's do the podcast. So what we realized this week So my podcast went live with my first 3 episodes. So thank you to everyone who has commented and been supportive and been listening. And I appreciate all of your support. Linda did not mean to do that.

You could have come on, Linda.

That would have been fun. So in the midst of this week, what Seth and I have realized is that some people don't know how to access my podcast. So I will post links, correct? Sure. On Facebook?

Yes.

So when you go to Facebook and you see my post announcing, like Friday I'll do a post with the latest episode. Episode. And every Friday for Winey Palooza Family Friday, you're gonna see a new podcast come live and I will post it or someone will post it and we will have the link on it so that you can just click on the link. However, there are other ways to access it. So Seth, Take it away, my podcast master.

Okay, so you can, if you have an Apple device— iPhone, iPad, iPod, iCar, whichever— on your device there is an app called Podcasts.

It's purple.

It's purple. You cannot delete it. You didn't have to download it. It is a native app, which means the second you turned on for the very first time your iPhone, your iPad, you had, you had it. So if you click the podcast app and I click little magnifying glass at the bottom for search and I type in Whiny Palooza—

show them where—

you will see that. You will see it. Lovely Rebecca Green. If you click on it— oh, you got 5 more ratings in the last couple hours, that's awesome. You want to subscribe to it so you get every episode. We would love if you would go click a 5-star review and write an awesome Review, right?

But tell them how to access it. So they click on the episode, you click on it, click on the episode that you want to listen to, and you hit play. Okay, and then you want to show them on an Android.

Android. So if you have an Android device, where you're going to go is you're going to go to the— what is it? It used to be the Google Play Store, it is now the Podcast app.

And so it looks rainbowish.

It looks rainbowish. You will see a bunch of different podcasts. You will again hit the little search button. You will type in Winey Palooza, the Winey, and it'll come up.

They got it.

And it'll come up.

Okay, so thank you, honey. So if you have any questions, please don't think any question is a stupid question. I have been getting questions from people of how can I listen to it, and I realized People don't know how.

It's also on YouTube.

I hope that that helps you if you don't know how. And if you still are confused, please reach out to me and I will help you. So I'm going to move on to my topic this week, which is what I labeled my 4 Rs. And I've been focusing on my 4 Rs for many, many, many years.

And this is not reading, writing, arithmetic.

I did not see that coming. Okay, so when I am thinking negatively, or I don't like where my head is spiraling to, or I'm feeling overwhelmed, out of control, sad, angry, cranky, cranky. If it's an emotion, obviously we want to feel our emotions. I'm not telling you not to feel any of these emotions. What I'm telling you is I I prefer to smile, be happy, see the world through rose-colored glasses. That's how I want my days to be spent. So if I am feeling negative, I press reset. That's my first R. I press reset on myself. I say, reset, rewind. Okay, I rewind myself back across the thought and I say, replace it. And reframe it. Okay, so those are my 4 Rs.

Those are really good.

Thanks.

I'm going to use that at work.

Okay, so didn't you— you read the blog?

I did, but it did not sink in.

Okay, so I'm glad I'm talking about it.

Yes, worth the price of admission.

When I was doing therapy regularly, we talked about the tape in our head all the time. So I know rewind. Rewind is a regular thing that I've used for years and years and years. And I've used reframe because reframing is trying to make something into a positive. So I have done it for so many years that I'm starting to do it quicker, I'm starting to do it more automatically. And when we were in the car, we went to Kalkenberg Farms today, which I strongly recommend if you're local. Um, great local place, not too overwhelming, but I won't get off topic. Thank you. So I'm in the car. We have about a 20-minute drive, not even. And Ella was so sweet and she said, what is your topic this week? So I explained it to her and she said, wow. She said, I really need that. And I said, I hope you'll read it and I hope you'll go live with me tonight, which you see that didn't happen.

No such luck. So we are rewinding.

You just never know. You never know. You just go with the flow with queens and teens and 8-year-olds and all those children, all those children in your life. So, so she says to me, what a great topic, I really need that. I feel like I'm thinking too negatively too often and I'm not good at what you're talking about. And I said, well, that's normal. She didn't realize that was normal. She thought something was wrong with her. And I said, you know, it's something that we have to practice. And what I think people don't realize is that our brain gets wired a certain way, okay? So if you think negative thoughts regularly, then your brain gets used to thinking negatively, and then it becomes automatic to think a negative way and be cranky and miserable and complaining and gossiping and, If you do that stuff, it becomes natural. It becomes— your brain is telling you to do that, and you're doing it over and over and over again. If you retrain your brain, which is what I was explaining to Ella— that'd be the fifth R. I did another— I did another R. First, roll. Oh my God, you're so— I'm sorry, everyone. So, um, so I was explaining to Ella that she can retrain her brain to do my 4 Rs and to stop herself. The first thing is awareness, okay? So we become aware that we're thinking negatively, and I'm gonna use Girl Scouts as an example because this just happened. So as I said in my blog, sometimes Seth and I make each other worse and we make each other more cranky, and sometimes we help each other get to a better place. And Seth, I told you you hit a grand slam on Saturday Happy that you even hit the ball.

That's awesome.

You hit it out of the ballpark and you really helped me out.

So we mean get to a better emotional place, by the way, just so you know.

So Saturday, I, I planned Girl Scouts for Ella's troop on Saturday and Lily's troop on Monday, and it was a long weekend and it was a beautiful weekend, and I was so frustrated with myself and I was like, I just want to go have family fall family fun.

3 Fs. You are on alliteration rolls today.

I just want to have fun with my family. And why am I putting Girl Scouts into my weekend? And why did I do this to myself? And I picked the dates, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, the negative, negative, negative. So Seth comes in the kitchen, hears me bitching and says, you know what? You know what? You're a great mother.

Yes, you are.

I love that you're planning this stuff for your girls.

Yes.

You're creating memories that will last a lifetime.

Yes.

Ella in particular, Ella in particular needs this. She needs the connection. She needs to socialize. You need to get her out of the house with her friends. This is wonderful that we're doing this today.

Yes.

And it was a ceremony. And Ella went from being a junior Girl Scout to, um, we call it bridging over to become a cadet, which is a walk over the symbolic—

the bridge. It's the symbol of graduating to the next level.

So we went to a park, the girls walked over a bridge, and Ella became— Ella and her troop all became cadets. So now they're in 6th grade and they're in a different level of Girl Scouts. And she got to see all her friends, and we got to beat the rain, and it all worked out. And Seth had put me in a more positive light. So when I was thinking, oh, why did I plan this? Why do I have to go do this? The awareness that I was being negative is first. Okay, you're being negative. So reset yourself, rewind yourself, and let's replace it with something that's a reframe. And the reframe is that I was doing something great for my daughters and giving them that social connection that our kids need so much right now. And that is just one of a million examples from this weekend because I felt like I was reframing myself the whole weekend. And I'm gonna move on to having teenagers. Okay, so I love fall family fun. I love taking my family apple picking. I love taking them to farms. You've probably heard Seth say we do this every fall. Well, then why is he surprised? Of course.

Because we did it already. Yeah, but they're not new apples.

Next year I'm going to say, let's go apple picking.

And I'm going to say, what?

Let's go to a farm. So we're never going to agree.

Nope.

And I'm always going to tell you that I want to go do it.

Yep. So you can never pick enough apples, honey.

So it's after Girl Scouts and Max actually asked to go apple picking.

So anyways, he has to get out of the house.

So it's after Girl Scouts and I start thinking about my babies and I started reminiscing about bringing my babies to pumpkin farms.

So you rewound too far.

So I rewound too far and I started to get really sad and be like, oh, they used to run to farms and they used to be so happy to be there and now I'm like dragging them.

Yeah.

Well, Lily doesn't count. Lily wants to do everything. Thank So thankful to have an 8-year-old who still wants to do everything. The 11 and 13-year-old, not so much. So I started to think about how they're becoming such great people. I can have such great conversations with them. And even though they're not bouncing to the farm or—

Dragged against me.

Maybe I'm telling them what they're doing.

They're being voluntold.

They're still having fun with their family. They're still happy most of the time when we're there. And I started thinking about the fact that, you know what, I'm 44 and I still enjoy going to pumpkin farms with my parents.

Then you're not normal. Then you can go with Grammy and Grampy and we'll stay home.

Are you telling—

You and Lily can go with your parents and Max, Ella, and I will stay home.

So I started thinking—

I'm gonna rewind and—

So I rewound. My negative thoughts.

Yes, you did.

And I replaced it with, it does not matter how old they are, whether they're in elementary school, middle school, high school, college, adults with children, they're still going to the farm with me.

I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.

And wait until you have grandkids, because then—

well, then you have an excuse. Okay, now you don't—

you don't have to be a 5-year-old to to go enjoy fall fun.

I, I did not see too many parents without kids at any of those places. Just, just saying. Do you want to go when, when they're all in college, before they have kids? Are we gonna go? I think you're gonna say, honey, let's go hang out at the fall family fun.

Okay, okay.

So that you never said when we were dating, that was a hot date.

Okay, so I'm trying to explain, yes, that whatever negativity that you're thinking, yes. I'm not telling you that you have to love doing the dishes or that you have to love folding laundry. I'm telling you that there's a way to look at it.

Yes.

I am constantly working on it all through my day. I'm thinking, I'm so lucky that we have so much clothes.

You're trying to think that.

Yes. I'm so lucky that I can go to the grocery store and buy whatever I want to cook for my family. Like, I'm trying to constantly reframe the ugh I gotta go grocery shopping. No, I get to go grocery shopping, and I have plenty of money to buy groceries.

Yes.

You know, I— hopefully I'm explaining this. You are.

You're doing a great job.

Thank you for that.

You're welcome.

So I want to help people have joyful days, and I want to help make your days more quality and to help you look at things through the rose-colored glasses more often so that you're happy more often.

Yes.

So I'm hoping that teaching everyone, telling everyone, sharing how I'm using my 4 Rs in my life every day will help you to just have more positive days.

Do you think if your name was Sally, they'd be 4 Ss?

I don't think the Rs came from Rebecca, but I think that's adorable that you just said that.

Okay, works right out. So listen to the Winey Palooza podcast. On iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, YouTube, or wherever you find podcasts.

Every Friday a new one's coming out. And Jessica Ashley. I was on Jessica Ashley's podcast, the Stay Calm Mom.

Yes.

Had such a wonderful time talking to her. She interviewed me. It was so much fun. She's such a sweetheart. So you can go find her, the Stay Calm Mom podcast on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, TuneIn. And she just, um, it's not posted. She just went live with my interview. Is that how you say it?

Yes. And it is, you shared it on your page and it is on both pages. Yes, they can find it.

Um, do you have anything to say before I wrap up? Come talk and sing us out. Come on down. Tell me what you want to say.

I was gonna say for the stop and rewind thing, every night sometimes I have a bad dream and I open my eyes and I say stop, rewind, and then I get a new dream.

We were talking about how when you're in bed and you're thinking negatively, you try to stop yourself. And reframe it to something positive, right? Joette says she completely agrees with all you shared. Thank you, Joette. Seth, anything to say before we end?

I'm good.

Okay, Lily, do you know how to end us out?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you for watching the whiny blues on Wednesday with the Green family.

Cha-cha chicken.

Yay. Thank you everyone for watching. See you next week.

Watch the podcast.

Yes, you should.

Oh, they'll see me Friday.