Whinypaluza Wednesday - The Rollercoaster Ride

Sorry. Hello! Happy Winey Blues Wednesday! Abuela!

No need to whine, it's Winey Blues Wednesday! Have some wine and join us on Winey Blues Wednesday with the Green Family!

Do you like it better with the light? I'm seeing if people are joining us. I'm giving people a minute.

Cha-cha chicken!

Cha-cha chicken! Thank you for joining us tonight. Happy Wednesday. Um, okay, Alice, see, this is the problem. Okay, so this is the problem right here. So last week we did 8 o'clock. You can sit behind Daddy if you're joining us, but you do not have to if you don't want to. It's up to you. So last week we went live at 8 o'clock because the week before we were falling asleep at 9 o'clock, but I think everybody seems to like 9 o'clock better. I think the kids are in bed or watching TV, and I think it's easier for people. So give us your feedback about what time you like best. We stayed awake for you. It was—

the sacrifices we make.

It was easier to stay awake tonight because we have had a super busy day over here. We had, um, Lily, you've had like the busiest day. You had school on Zoom, which is why she's wearing the glasses. We have gotten a lot of comments about the glasses. Lily did not get glasses. She is wearing blue light glasses to help her because her eyes have been burning from all of the screen time. I've got a pair of those. Oh yeah, I have to order you some. So if your children are complaining about their eyes, Lily says it helps a lot, right Lily? Yes. So thank you, Nikki, for the blue light glasses. So Lily had Zoom school. She had Hebrew, a Hebrew lesson on Zoom, and she had Girl Scouts on Zoom. So Lily has, and I have had a—

You might have actually been on Zoom more than me.

What a Zoom day it was. Thank you, Zoom.

Zoomtastic.

For connecting us with people and making us not feel all alone in our house with the 5 of us. We got to see lots of people today on Zoom. So tell us, okay, so first we're gonna start with, I got sent this book, so I wanna share, The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids.

Yes, we know it's backwards when you're looking at it. Oh, I'm sorry. No, there's nothing you can, it's them.

Oh, good. So, ADHD, Anxiety and More, Elaine Taylor, um, Klaus. Klaus. She's a lovely lady and I did a podcast with her that was so much fun. I learned so much from her. She's such a knowledgeable lady and she has written a couple books. So, check out her book. I can't wait to read it and learn more about parenting my familyless children. Yes. Okay, so let's get on with our topic. Anything else you want to cover before the topic?

No, nope, you are doing great.

Okay, so my topic that I picked this week, you are all going to relate to this topic. My head is going like this, the roller coaster ride that we are living. I feel like I'm living in a movie and I don't know what the next scene is gonna be.

That's a good analogy.

It's—

I'm like, we're in the school or no school montage.

I'm like, what is next? What music is playing during this montage? So for those of you who don't live near us, we are still in orange, right? Our governor has labeled us in the orange zone. I do not believe we have moved up to red.

Not yet.

Um, we have not moved down to yellow. We have not moved up to red. We are still consistently in orange. I am not following it well enough to actually give you exact information. Yes. So the school decided— my children's school closed. The governor changed the rules on how schools could open in the orange zone. So now school announced— was it yesterday or the day before? Yes. This Monday? Monday, Monday school announced that they were reopening next Monday. Yes, the 12th, 13th, 14th, December 14th. So they're going back to the hybrid schedule that my children were doing, where my kids go Monday, Tuesday, other kids go Thursday, Friday, depending on the letter you are in the alphabet. Okay, so I don't like— and, and Seth, I would love your opinion. I don't like that we're not getting any sort of warning about what's coming. Like, tell us that school might be opening soon. Tell us that school might be closing soon. It's like, it's constantly like, oh, by the way, it's Friday and you can't come back on Monday. Oh, by the way, it's Monday and next Monday you're coming back to school.

Like, some of that may be because they don't know. I don't think they're hiding it from you. My— I mean, it could be, but my guess would be that they're making game time last minute decisions and then telling everybody, and it's not like they were sitting on that information for 3 weeks.

No, I think that they decided right before they told us, right? But I feel like I have whiplash.

Yes, but that isn't because they're not warning you, as they don't know they can't warn you. But yes, you do have whiplash from the constantly changing every couple weeks battle.

So before school started in August I can't tell you how many parents surprised me and told me that their kids were going to stay home and be remote all year. My jaw dropped to the floor. I couldn't believe they weren't sending their kids to school. I was like, well, they're trying to be safe. They're trying to be consistent. And, um, I get it. I really understand. I understand that if you are a family who has decided since day one to keep your family home.

Nothing.

There's no back and forth. There's no whiplash. There's no, I don't know what my kids are doing next week. There's no, um, change. So it's totally consistent. If you're keeping your kids remote, then you have consistently had the same thing all year. So I get it.

Kudos to you if that that is what is working for you.

I, um, hi Cosmalas, how are the—

we don't like predictable and boring. We, we like to— the spontaneity and the improvisation and never knowing what's coming next.

No, I am super controlling. What? And I have—

you are admitting this on camera, right? You know, my name is Rebecca and I'm a controlaholic.

Is that what we're calling it? I don't, I don't think I'm a controlaholic. I think that, um, I am a mother, I am in charge of a house, kind of. You are. I mean, I, I help everything run smoothly, and I'm an oldest child, and all your other excuses and reasons.

Yes, I understand.

I— you—

we cannot control everything, correct? I realize I, I have no control over and you have no control over this. The only thing I have control over is how I decide to feel about something. That's right, my attitude about something. Patty says this back and forth doesn't work for planners. I think that what I feel the worst about— it's not for me, okay, we'll talk about kids in a minute— but I feel bad for the parents who actually have to go to a job. Like, they're not working at home, they're not home with their kids, they're not me who's home to help my kids all day. Like, the parents who don't know how to plan child care from week to week, I'm so sorry.

How do you do that?

I, I just, I can't even. I mean, you have to use supports, you have to have somewhere to send your kids. Like, you have to go to work, you have to go to work. I, um, have never been more thankful for being home than I am this year because my kids don't know what's coming with school, but they know that I'm here and they know that they consistently have me at home.

Yes.

So there's a plus.

Huge plus.

Um, how are our kids doing with this? That is the question. The parents are struggling, the teachers are struggling, the kids are struggling. Um, I think that from my family and Seth, I want you to know— I want to know if you agree with me. I have 2 kids, um, my daughters Ella and Lily, not, not Max. This doesn't apply to Max. Um, and they don't like remote school. They would tell you hands down that being in the classroom is so much better. Lily, do you agree with that? Yes. I redirect Lily to go sit at her computer how many times a day? What do you think? 5, 4 times?

4?

Maybe there needs to be a zero at the end of that number.

Should we go to 40? Should we go to 5?

You should count tomorrow.

You should count.

Have a little stick chart. I'm gonna count. I'm gonna tell you next week how many times I say, Lily, go sit down. Go miss. I hear her teacher talking to her, not even to her, to her class, like giving like instructions, teaching a lesson. Um, I have Lily's teacher in the family room. Okay. So I'm in the kitchen in the center on their computers. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry. They're not actually in my house, but they're in my house.

They live in our house pretty much. I have, you feel the same way, right?

People, I have kids. Kids and teachers in my house all day. So in the family room is Lily with her teacher. I'm in the kitchen. In the dining room is Ella with her teachers. No, nobody likes headphones in my house, so don't tell me to put headphones on them. They don't like them. Then there's Max, who is either in his room or walking through the house with his Chromebook. You never know where he's gonna land. And I hear his teachers too. So, I have teachers in my house all day long and have to tell Lily all day to go sit and listen to her teacher. And she will say to me things like, "I can't sit anymore," or, "I don't like this remote learning." Well, I mean, in school you had to sit. Yesterday, I was walking the dog and she called me crying because her eyes were burning. I can't do this anymore, my eyes are burning. So I came home, got the blue light glasses from Max, gave them to Lily.

Solved the problem.

And I think I— did I solve the problem? Definitely. Okay, so the reason why we're putting our kids through this yo-yo whiplash roller coaster is because my girls in particular would so much rather be in the classroom whenever they're allowed to be in the classroom. Max, on the other hand, has adjusted so well to remote learning. Very fortunate. And we are so thankful, and he really likes it, and he says he doesn't want to go back. So Seth and I have to talk more about that. Um, so I want to tell you that all of your kids are different. You do not have to make the same decision for all of your kids. We have one kid who's thriving doing remote learning. We have two kids who don't like it. Um, do you agree with what I'm saying?

Well, those were all facts. There isn't anything to agree or disagree with yet. Those are all— that is what is the truth of the situation.

Okay, so do you agree that Ella and Lily, um, would rather be in school? And would rather go whenever they're allowed?

Yeah, of course they have said that.

Okay, and do you have issues with your kids going back and forth to school, home, home, to school, home?

It's not whether I have issues. I don't really have a— I mean, we've made the choice to let them— to have them do hybrid so, so that we could get as much in-school time as possible when it's available So that's, that, that's got me— I, I maybe anticipated more than you did that that was going to keep changing when we started it. So I don't have any emotional issues about it. I wish they got more school time, but I can't— this is the best I can do in that situation, and the most school time I can get them is hybrid, so I'll take it at the moment.

Well, we're taking it. So Rebecca says great advice, and I think she's talking about the fact that all of our kids are so different So I hope that you know that whatever decision you're making for your family is probably the best decision for your family or your child. And this is not a time for us to compare to anyone else because everyone's situation is so different. Everyone's children are so different. My friend's kids are doing really well with remote learning, and she doesn't know if she's sending them back. I have actually had a couple friends reach out to me and tell me that they are not sending their kids back. I think that people are feeling scared right now because of our numbers, and I am actually shocked that the school is opening. Are you surprised?

I figured that it wouldn't open— it would open in January. I figured they would wait till after the holidays, 2 weeks later, 3rd week of January, because they're gonna— I would assume if I were in charge that people aren't gonna listen, they're gonna go see their families for the holidays anyway, even though they shouldn't, and are we gonna wait 14 days from January 1st to see what the new infection rate is before we open or close the school? I'm wondering if the sole point of opening for a week before winter break is, are they opening to just get them 2 days of school?

4. No, well, 4 for us.

2 days of physical or 4 days of physical school will just to give them something before the end of the calendar year. I, I don't know. I'd love to know the reason. I think the reasoning is squeezing it in before everybody does whatever they're not supposed to do for the holidays.

I think the reason is that the governor changed the rules and made it more manageable for schools to do testing. The number of tests, I think, decreased. They don't have to test the whole school to go back. They only have to test, I believe, 20% of students and faculty.

Right, but let's say that that's now easier. It doesn't still mean that you have to reopen.

Right, they don't have to.

So I don't know that it's the governor's decision to make them— or to— for them to reopen. I think each school and district and superintendent is saying— and school board is saying, hey, we've got a window here. We don't know how long it's going to last. Let's reopen for the heck of it for 2 days, 4 days, whatever, and see what happens.

Kelly likes your glasses, Lily. Here, say thank you.

Thank you.

Um, I spent 3 hours on the school board meeting last night listening to the Zoom. Um, it was not over. It was not over when I got off at 10 o'clock. And there were teachers— I mean, my heart was breaking. There were teachers on there like pleading with them not to let school schools open, that they don't feel safe. Um, there were teachers— there's teachers who want to go back, there's teachers who don't want to go back, there's parents who want their kids to go back, there's parents who don't want their kids to go back, who feel like they shouldn't. I don't know how anyone can feel like the— I'm talking about the superintendent and the board. I don't know how you ever feel like you're doing the right thing because it's impossible to please everybody. Yes, and I think that for the parents it's easier than the teachers because if you don't want your kids to go back Fortunately, you have the option to just do remote learning. If you are a teacher, you're in such a harder position, and I feel so bad because the holidays are coming. And there's two worries that I've heard from people recently. Worry number one: I'm gonna, I'm gonna send my kids back, or I'm a teacher and I'm gonna go back, and someone's gonna infect me and I'm gonna be sick for the holidays. That's worry number one. Worry number 2 is I'm gonna send my kid, or I'm a teacher and I'm going back to school, and someone in the class gets it and then the whole class has to quarantine for 2 weeks. And people don't want to be stuck in quarantine. I actually talked to someone today. We were like using humor and laughing about it, but it's not funny. Every time she gets out of quarantine, she gets exposed by somebody else, and then she has to go back into quarantine with her family. And she was so frustrated that, I mean, she was laughing. I am so impressed with the things she's been dealing with that she's laughing. Um, good for her. We've got to use humor sometimes. I told her, we were laughing about a few things, and I said, we either cry or we laugh, right?

Yes.

Um, So, so how are you feeling about schools reopening? If you're a teacher, how are you feeling, if you're comfortable sharing? If you're a parent, how are you feeling? If you have grandkids, how are you feeling? We want to hear from you. We want to know how you're doing. We are dazed and confused.

It's a good way to put it.

Really in my heart of hearts think that they should. I, I almost think Seth just nailed it. I think that people are gonna go away, they're gonna come back, and I almost feel like— don't yell at me, I'm gonna get haters. So when do we go back? So we— when do we go back to school, or when would break end? January 2nd. Let's just go back on the 2nd. I don't know if that's the calendar date, but it's usually the first First Monday, let's pretend that it's January 2nd because I don't have a calendar right here, and let's add 14 days. Yeah, I almost feel like January 16th, you look at the numbers, right? You see where we're at. Yeah, and then you reopen school, not Monday. Like, come on, what is going on? Um, let's open right before Christmas. Speaking of holidays, Lily, what is tomorrow?

Ha! The first day of Hanukkah!

How excited are you?

Blasted excited.

She's blasted excited. I don't even know what that means.

So I am going to go put Lily to bed and finish wrapping presents. I have like 3 more, and then tomorrow starts Hanukkah, and we get to— I'm gonna make latkes. I'm gonna make homemade latkes and we are going to light the menorah. Thank you, Rebecca. She says happy Hanukkah. Um, we are gonna light the menorah and say the blessings, and we'll probably— maybe we'll fit in a dreidel game if we have time, depending on how late. I know Ellie has theater, and we're gonna open presents. And what else are we gonna do tomorrow? Is that it?

We have to say the blessing for dinner.

Well, we'll have dinner and we'll do the menorah and we'll do a couple presents. So we have a debate going on, so weigh in on the debate. And my kids need to weigh in on the debate. So the way that I like it is I like— we have 8 nights and they get something every night. I like giving them the biggest gift first and then the presents kind of maybe by the end might dwindle, maybe depending on how much stuff I bought. And they have uncles and they have grandparents, and they're not getting stuff just from me. They're very spoiled. And, um, Seth thinks that it should build and be boom at the end, which I do not agree with.

It needs to have presents from you. It should be presents from us. I, I'll help pay for those. And there's one, one of our three children that I picked out all of the presents for. Um, from presents, I'd like some credit.

Presents from us. I'm so sorry.

It's okay. Thank you.

Oopsie.

I see how you are. I mean, the other 8,000 presents you bought.

Okay, I bought a lot of presents. I bought a lot of presents for the girls. Um, no. Oh yeah, you did most of Max's. Thankfully, Seth is the tech master and he did most of Max's requests. So thank you, honey.

You're welcome.

Okay, so weigh in on the Hanukkah debate. Um, tell us, um, what you think about school reopening if you live near us. Tell us how you're doing with the back and forth, boom boom boom. What's coming next? What's the next movie scene? Um, this Friday is a new podcast with Rachel Bailey. Um, had an awesome time talking to her about parenting talking about behaviors and how we view them and how we handle them. And then the following Friday, I believe, is you and me talking about marriage and parenting.

It is.

Oh, Lily. Okay, so Lily has an idea. She would like me to do a podcast with my kids. What do you think of that?

Would you listen to a podcast where Rebecca interviews the children?

Let us know if that interests you. So thank you so much. Seth said that, what did you tell me I'm at? 3.6 million views?

Yes.

Thank you so much for watching. I so appreciate your support. Please tell me your topic requests. Please listen to the podcast Friday. And we will see you next Wednesday. Lily, are you taking us out?

Yes! Thank you for watching my new video on Sam vs Beanies Family TV.

Ciao ciao chickens!