Bootcamp Day 5: Modeling the Freedom to Be Yourself

Ready, set, day 5 of Remember Who the Fuck You Are. Hey, it's Rebecca. I am so honored and grateful that of all of the ways you could spend your time this week, of all of the places you could be, we have been on a journey together. Women literally from all over the world have come together to remember who the fuck they are. Breaking cycles for their family is important, right? That's why you're here. And your kids deserve a healed you. And 4, patterns and cycles, triggers and traumas to literally end with you. And it is so doable, and it is so much faster than we imagine. Healing never makes anything worse. So today on day 5, we are going to be talking about what's it like to actually be free to be who you are Whether it's convenient or not, whether people react in the way you would hope or not. I don't want you disappointed because you missed your life another second. I don't want you stuck. I don't want you suffering. And I don't want you feeling stressed because you feel like who you have to be for everybody else, or because of your circumstances is more important than following your joy and remembering who the fuck you are. For one more time here, I am going to share the emotional healing map with you so you can take a quick screenshot. You will get this in your email, your final email with all of the materials. We're going to have a full workbook for you. We're going to include this map for you in day 5 materials. So take one more screenshot today if you haven't And then just know you will have this, and I want you to print it. I want you to make it your screensaver. I want it on your fridge, your desk, your mirror, your bedside table. This map is an amazing tool for you to return to over and over and over again and just notice there is nothing negative in the anger, fear, or grief columns. Like, nothing. These emotions are such good news. Such good news. I'm going to stop sharing the screen. It is what we do to avoid them that is the issue. So let's go back on our journey. We began together knowing something was off and we didn't really understand why, but we were here to break cycles and remember who the fuck we are so our kids can feel safe embodying fully and safely being who they are. And so Your family and your home can have the emotional safety that you've never had before, and that likely no one in your family has ever had before. Day 2, we looked at— wait a minute, there's a difference between who we became to survive and who we really are. And there's a huge difference between fight, flight, freeze And healed. And there's a huge difference between fight, flight, freeze and your healthy, naturally occurring, gorgeous human emotions that aren't going anywhere. Then day three, we really looked at wait a minute, there's only five core human emotions. That's it: anger, fear, grief, joy, and excitement. Everything else. Is fight, flight, or freeze. If it isn't anger, fear, grief, joy, or excitement, it's fight, flight, freeze, boo. And there isn't anything to judge about that or to make wrong about that. There is nothing wrong with any of the eight fight, flight, freeze, anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement places we go on the map. We dove deep day 3 as well into these darker emotions of anger, fear, and grief, because the point is joy and excitement. And the more you can be with the darker emotions of anger, fear, and grief, the more joy and excitement get to be the rule you live by, not an exception. Then day 4, we took on joy as your right, and honestly, as the truth of who you are. And got to look at, wait a minute, I really can return to joy regardless of any circumstance, any person's behavior, any situation. And I have more to say about that today, but today we're putting it all together and trusting it is safe to make a decision to be joy, to experience joy, and to remember who the fuck you are again, no matter what is happening or not happening. So many of you don't trust yourselves and then tell yourself you don't trust joy. Okay, really consider what I'm saying here. Is it that you don't trust joy or you don't trust yourself To let it be safe to be joyful and who the fuck you are, and risk the fallout. I can't promise you you'll never be triggered again. I can promise you you can learn how to catch every trigger like a fly ball, and like I'm famous for saying, make any and every trigger your bitch so that who the fuck you really are, the healed you, is running the show. whatever moment it is, not survival you, because that's what's always happened to you. That's actually where it feels safer, and that's actually where you trust yourself. So many of you trust your survival self way more than you trust it is safe to remember who the fuck you are and be the joy you are and rest in joy. And that is back-asswards, and that is why I put this whole boot camp together, because we deserve better. You deserve better. Your kids deserve better. Your marriage deserves better. Your business deserves better than you defaulting to survival because nobody before here and now told you it doesn't have to be that way. So you free is available. Healing is freedom, and you can trust joy, but not If you don't trust it's safe to remember who the fuck you are and show up that way, whether it's going to be received well or not. And if it isn't received well, you did not do anything wrong. Really let your nervous system hear me right now. If it isn't received well, a couple things could be going on. Number one, I believe When I am showing up differently and unavailable for trauma bonding that I've been participating in actively in my relationships, sometimes for decades, when I go, you know what? No more of that, right? Because that triggered, unclear survival you is trauma bonding, not in any type of relationship when this is where you have landed, okay? So if I go, I'm not gonna trauma bond with you anymore, I'm not gonna over-function anymore, I'm not gonna do 99.9% of the work in this relationship, Relationship so that you only have to show up at point one percent of the work in this relationship. Do you understand that when you say, "Uh-uh, no more, not good enough," to the trauma bonding, that might confront some people, and we could understand that, and maybe have a little compassion. Maybe it's okay if people get confronted, and it doesn't mean the sky is falling, or that the bottom is falling out of your life, or that you're a bad person, or that you've done anything wrong. It means they're human. You're changing the game, and you're leading bravely and courageously into I want emotional intimacy with you. I want a healthy, healed, and if it's romantic, also hot relationship with you. And yes, you can have healthy, healed, and hot. It isn't one or the other: healthy, healed, or hot. It really can and should be all three, right? So. Give people an opportunity to be human and confronted and to take a minute to catch up without making it you are doing something wrong or you are making things worse. It doesn't always feel like things are getting better in the beginning when we take on our healing, which is why we need to stick with it and actually go farther into learning emotional healing. Right? But you aren't doing anything wrong or bad when you change the game. Them having a human reaction isn't the end of the world, or meaning they're abandoning you, or you've messed things up or made things worse. If after they've gotten confronted and had a moment, and you ask them respectfully if they're willing to grow with you, if they're willing to reinvent with you, because you want to know What they want to, what's important to you, and you want them to know what's important to you now, and you want to be able to support each other in that. And now it's intimacy; it isn't trauma bonding. And they don't want to. All you got was information, right? All you got was information. If you're coming from pure intention and emotional healing. And by the way, every one of the emotions on the map, you will see respects me, respects you, right? When you're with the emotion of anger, you're respecting yourself and you're respecting them. Why? Because you're being real. And when I'm fake, when I'm being somebody I'm not because I don't trust you can handle it, Or I can handle your reaction. That's disrespectful. So I respect you enough to first remember who the fuck I am and then show you who the fuck I am, right? So if you've done that and you're clear, not in fight flight freeze, with pure intention, and now they push back, it's okay if they're confronted and need a minute. But then if they're a hard no on wanting to heal, grow, and reinvent with you. I say thank you, God, for that information because I don't chase people and I don't want a relationship with somebody who doesn't want a relationship with me personally or professionally. So I don't need to be manipulative. I don't need to try to control the situation or the person or the outcome. You don't want to grow with me? Not my loss, it's yours. And I might have to grieve. So what? Have you or have you not survived heartbreak before? Why are we pretending like we can't handle heartbreak? I don't want it okay for you to be living a life where you're handling yourself at your own expense and dimming your light and dumbing it down and holding back and withholding your truth, your heart. Because of how hurt you've been in the past. I want you to know it's safe to grieve, you know. And we have people in this program who have tragically even lost children and learned how to have a healthy relationship with grief with me as their coach, privately doing the work of emotional healing. Because it doesn't mean you love them more, because you're keeping yourself and your life held hostage because the hurt is so deep and justified. Not everybody's gonna like what I'm saying, and I understand that. And I want you to take what you want and leave the rest. I am not pretending like this boot camp hasn't been one hell of an ass kicking. If I did my job right, you're a little shook, but it is all good news. You fully through your grief means you got back to who the fuck you are, and you're joyful. And you didn't let anyone or anything mean less of a life for you. And yeah, you can be joyful and still have grief, and it comes in waves, and it comes when you expect it, and it comes when you don't. But you can fully let go of what was that isn't ever going back to what it was again, and let your life stay good, and let the best of you shine and thrive. Knowing there isn't a damn thing you can't lead, navigate, or handle that could happen. Not a damn thing that you can't find a healed you to lead that moment and a healed right next step for you and everybody involved. Emotional healing is what breaks cycles and patterns, and it is what's been missing, and it is how you break down the wall between who you've been keeping yourself trapped in survival in any place that you've been stuck, stressed, or suffering. You are here. And this— there's just this little line in between. How do we tear down that wall and break through and go from here to here as fast as possible? Emotional healing. We don't resist the emotion underneath the trigger that the trigger is trying to protect us from. And we don't need what we think, which is, I think I need this to change— this person, this situation, this diagnosis— and then I can get out of here. No, my God, that is not how it works. They may or may not change, and you waiting on this being resolved, whatever it is for you, and then maybe someday you'll be okay means you just miss more and more of your life. And your kids watch. See, I can't be happy if this is happening. See, I can't be honest if that happened. See, I have to self-sacrifice, and that's what love is. We don't want them following your survival hacks and tactics and patterns that you inherited because of generational cycles that didn't break until now. Because you are the one— you are the cycle breaker in your family. It's you, boo. And that doesn't mean you're healing everyone, changing everyone, and it's all going to go your way. It means You're now modeling possibility that wasn't there before. So in any trigger, you're here, and there is a stuck age, and there is a stuck emotion, and the trigger's been protecting you from the emotion because the trigger has been safer than the emotion. And today, as an adult, you can know the emotion isn't going to kill you; it will free you. And today, as an adult, you can know you're safest when you let yourself. Please write this down: You are safest when you let yourself be witnessed in your vulnerability. You are safest where wherever you are, wherever you land on the map, you meet yourself there. You let other people meet you there. You don't try to pretend. You don't tell yourself you're fine when you're not. Do you know what fine is an acronym for? They taught me this in my counseling graduate work. Fine stands for fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. Now, I don't think emotional is a bad thing, but I think what they're talking about is this type of emotional— emotionally dysregulated, emotionally free and raw and real and messy, and letting yourself be witnessed there. It's the most healing, magical experience you can have. And for a lot of people, the first person that they're safe being vulnerable in a way where they're witnessed with is me. But if I can be that for you, thank you, God. And if you can survive me witnessing you, you can also survive the people you chose to be. In your inner circle witnessing you. I'm not saying you have to broadcast who you are and all the details of your life and all of the pain that you've endured and overcome and are going through now to everyone, but I do want you to have an inner circle of support that you are willing to let yourself be witnessed vulnerably in front of. And I don't want you having to pick and choose where and when and how It's safe to be who the fuck you really are in that moment. Okay, those of you that are with me live, number one takeaway so far from Remember Who the Fuck You Are, and number one question so far. Those of you watching in real time from wherever you're watching it, drop it in the comments. Up till now, number one takeaway. Number 1 question. I really, really, really want to hear from you. Next place we're gonna go while you're chatting to me, and please do let me know number 1 takeaway so far, number 1 question so far. Next place we're gonna go is I just wanna break it down. For you one more time, because this gets complicated and slightly confusing when you're in the middle of it. My emotional well-being matters too. Yes, Chandra, let the angels sing. Yes. Okay, so remember. Fight isn't anger. Let me write that bigger. I'm getting your worksheets for the giveaway, and by the way, keep them coming. Do yourself a solid and fill out every single worksheet and send it to me. Let me witness you. I want to hear from you. Share. These worksheets can heal you profoundly, and we are doing the giveaway, by the way. So those of you who haven't submitted day 1, 2, 3, 4 yet, you have time. We're gonna extend— I'll just do this now. I'm gonna extend the timeline for the giveaway for the single coaching intensive with me that will be 90 minutes over the phone to Sunday. August 30th at midnight Mountain. If you get me all 5 worksheets by Sunday, August 30th at midnight Mountain, you're in the running, and I will email the winner on Monday, August 31st. Okay, but in these worksheets, what I've been seeing is a little bit of confusion. I grew up with my father who was so angry. Okay, so Remember, he probably wasn't in the healthy human emotion of anger. He was probably in fight, persecuting, maybe even perpetrating, lashing out, blaming, threatening, intimidating. That isn't anger. Anger and violence, not the same thing. This is one of the most important concepts I teach. With the practice of emotional healing is knowing the difference between fight, flight, freeze, right, and healed emotions, right? The anger Lives out here. The anger— listen to these words, there is nothing negative or toxic about this— anger respects me, respects you, is powerful, passionate, clear, direct, honest, certain, boundaried, and not in a way where I have a wall up, in a way where I know how to honor and respect and take care of myself. Cares a lot, strong, rooted, courageous, self-respecting. I won't read them all, but there's nothing wrong with this. The difference between that and this— blaming, critical, punishing, threatening, judgmental, intimidating, righteous— very, very, very, very different. But as a little girl, you didn't know the difference. And even as an adult with all the understanding, like we talked about day 1, I can know my past, I can know my patterns, I can understand it in theory, intellectually, conceptually, but that doesn't heal me, meaning free me, free up the stuck age so I can be the age I am, free the stuck emotion so I can get back to joy. Very, very different. So, when you're telling yourself, I grew up with an angry father, if it was violent verbally, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, financially, In whatever way, that wasn't anger. That was fight. Okay, and what's the stuck emotion under fight? Stuck grief. So you didn't grow up with an angry father. You grew up with a father who had stuck grief, didn't know how to safely access it, so he became emotionally unsafe and modeled this. And then if you're here, chances are you probably decided you were never going to be that for other people, but you've been that towards yourself. The stuck emotion under flight, right? This we've talked about looks like you got it all together in so many cases. The extreme version of this is an active addiction, an escape. But for most people They're here playing God, playing the savior, playing the one that knows better for everybody and their life than the person whose life we're talking about, right? That's flight. So it can often look like that person is joyful, happy, Pollyanna, but there's a stuck emotion of fear, right? Fear. There's nothing wrong with it, right? Here, we don't want to make it wrong when we find ourselves there, but I do invite you to decide, I am not someone who stays here, camps out here once I'm aware of it. I do think that's wrong for you, for your marriage, for your kids, for your business, for your life, for your emotional well-being. Right? It doesn't have to be this way. So fear— beautiful words again: aware, present, open, trusting, faithful, safe, grounded, attentive, careful, responsible, connected, supported, honest, open-hearted. These are beautiful emotions. Who knew underneath freeze See, again, there's a big difference between a freeze response and real grief. Grief is letting go. Grief does mean you love and care, but don't love and care so much that you keep yourself stuck here because you don't want to lose the connection with who or what you lost. You can Of course, but you don't have to live like that. You can take them with you. You can be their legacy. You can be the model and the example of emotional safety and emotional healing and what it means to be a cycle breaker, not tolerating horseshit because you're going to keep repeating lessons that you don't need to, right? So freeze and grief, very, very, very, very different. Freeze. Trapped, powerless, shut down. And to be very clear, fight, flight, and freeze are powerless. The reason I put the word powerless under the freeze category is because you're visibly powerless, right? But fight, flight, and freeze are all at the effect of people, circumstance, and external factors, right? And Actually, you never have to be at the effect of people or circumstances ever again. So grief— open-hearted, tender, soft, connected, honest, allowing, releasing, relieved. This is why I was saying there's a difference between tears that are the victim tears That you cry when you're in a freeze response, and real grieving tears that are healing and letting go. And sometimes, yeah, we have to start with the victim tears. I don't make it wrong if it's victim tears. I just know what they are, and I know what to do because I have that awareness, right? And I want you to know what to do with wherever you are on the map. Oh, this is freeze. Now I am someone who— oh, this is grief. Now I'm someone who— oh, this is anger. Now I'm someone who— oh, this is fight. Now I'm someone who— right? You get where I'm going? But I had to differentiate for you just one more time today. These are so different, right? Freeze is stuck anger. So I grew up with somebody who's really sad. Probably not. You probably grew up with somebody who was really angry and didn't know how to safely, in a healthy way, process that anger. And they probably didn't know how to process their anger in a healthy, safe way because they thought anger was this and they never wanted to be this. Are we seeing how simple This really can be. It's not easy, but it is really masterful and really simple, and it's really freeing. I want to hear thoughts, questions. The chat is blowing up. Okay, so let me scroll up here. Um, I love your chart. Thank you very much. Uh, I've appropriated ideas regarding when we show up differently. No more trauma bonds. People around us have to adjust to a new relationship, and we need to compassionately give them space to do that. Absolutely. And start with yourself, right? You're becoming somebody you don't know yet. You're very good at knowing this you. You're very good at what I lovingly call high-functioning unhappiness. You're very good at succeeding and achieving and sacrificing and feeling like shit and exhausted and drained and stressed and stuck and suffering. I want you Very, very, very good at giving compassion to yourself so you can remember who the fuck you are and remember it's safe to be who the fuck you are and remember that you have a birthright called it's supposed to be good. It's supposed to be joyful regardless of circumstances. So I love this, but don't forget to compassionately give yourself space to meet yourself where you are. Takeaways: people leaving their loss! Exclamation point, question mark, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. Yeah, I can and will survive. I have survived loss before. Not letting the survival self run the show. I love these. My dad in a nutshell fight. Yeah. Okay, and then we have a very interesting question here. In your opinion, what's the first step for someone recovering from active addiction? So I would say if anybody's in active addiction. There are 12-step programs that for sure would be the first step. With my work, I always tell people when they come to me in active addiction, I can't be your sobriety support, but what I can be is the person that helps you heal the trauma that's been driving the addiction, if that makes sense. So I'll do a lot of work often with someone going through addiction in collaboration with some type of Sobriety recovery program that specializes in sobriety and that type of healing. But there is always trauma underneath the addiction that I can help you heal, and will help you heal in ways that are mind-blowing and way faster than most approaches. But I never claim to be the expert that can heal your addiction, but I can help you heal the trauma underneath it and get you set up with real support in tandem to mine. If that's something that feels supportive, or what you're called to do. Great question. Keep them coming, keep them coming, keep them coming. Um, I do want to know here in the comments, in the chat, if there's anything else that you have questions about, or that isn't landing, or that still feels sticky while we're here together. Use me up. So keep dropping those questions. Okay. Back to the point of today. It's safe to be free and all of who you are. So now let's write down, and if you're here live, I want to see in the comments if you are here live. Use up this chat, okay? And if you're on demand, drop in the comments. But I want to hear from you right now. Where do you feel the most comfortable on the map? Fight, flight, freeze, anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement. And where are you the least comfortable on the map? Okay, where are you the most comfortable and where are you the least comfortable? And please be honest with yourself, because this is where your next steps and your next level of healing are going to live. Because just like you can't understand and heal, you can't get my concepts and understand them and heal either. We have to do the work to actually emotionally release for the healing to occur, to be permanent, to change your life, your family's life, and The cycles generationally ending with you. But where are you the most comfortable on the map, and where are you the least comfortable? This is really important information for you to have, and I'm very curious about it too, so share it with me. Most comfortable in fight and grief, least comfortable joy and excitement. Thank you for being honest about that. I was having So many people say the same thing in the worksheet, particularly from yesterday. I still don't trust joy. I still have the hardest time with joy. I heard it over and over again in different ways. We're gonna get back to that in a minute. Who else will share? Pop it in the chat for me. It's beautiful to be able to identify where you do have comfort. And if you have comfort anywhere on here, I'm gonna promise you, you can get comfortable with all of it. And until you are comfortable with all of it, you're not gonna be happy and you're not gonna be free. Remember, my definition of happiness is I have a very comfortable relationship with meeting myself anywhere on this map, and I know my ultimate destination is back to joy. Most comfortable grief and joy, least comfortable with anger. Okay, great. Keep them coming, keep them coming. Um, most comfortable with fight, least comfortable joy. And you know what, that is so beautiful. I want us comfortable with fight in a way where we're fighting for our right to healing. We're fighting for our right to liberate ourselves, our families, and the generations that came before us. Yes, that is where I want the fight to go. And if you're already comfortable in fight, let's spin it in that way that you're fighting for your healing and you're fighting for your family's healing and you're fighting for generational cycle breaking that permanently heals. Like really, like for good. I love this. All right, great job everybody. Keep them coming. All right, so Next question. Go back to the number one thing you said you wanted day one. Okay, what was it? Number one thing you said you wanted. With the practice of emotional healing, we always have plugged into what I call our spiritual GPS, the possibility that we're creating. What do I want? Right? I'm not the trauma healer that you come to and you just talk about all the shit and we don't have a good reason why. I want us to have something beautiful we're creating, and I want the healing to be the catalyst for you actually closing that gap between survival and healed. What did you say you wanted? Okay, that's question one. Now question two. Where have you been stuck and trapped and holding your joy and your who you really are hostage on this map? Okay, so what do you want, and where have you been on the map that's been keeping you from getting what you want? And if you will share with me in the chat, I would love to see. And share in the comments if you're watching on demand. To heal past traumas and break generational curses that plagued my family so my daughter doesn't have to. Thank you, that's beautiful. So where have you been stuck on the map that's in the way of you healing the past traumas, breaking the curses, and being a part of the plague continues with you? And then your daughter would have it, right? We don't want your daughter having to continually think this is just how it is for her, like that's been true for you and your ancestors. So where have you been stuck on the map? See, anytime I don't have what I want, I'm stuck somewhere on this map. Okay, so now let's all close our eyes and take deep breaths in through your nose and in through your mouth. Put your hand over your heart, and in your hand over your heart, place this dream, this thing you said you wanted. What is it? There was a time—I'll use this example—when I was very clear I had a dream to be a bestselling author with a major publishing deal. What's your dream? I'm going to use the book as my example here. What is it? Put it in your hands, place it over your heart, pour it into your heart. Now feel into. Where you've been stuck. Fight, flight, or freeze. And absolutely, it could be a combination of all of it, but just pick the one that hurts the most, that's the most dominant, please. Okay, fight, flight, or freeze. And I want you to actually physically feel what that feels like in your body. The fight, the flight, or the freeze. For me, with my book, I was in massive amounts of freeze. Massive amount of freeze. And the freeze felt safer than the stuck anger that was underneath it. Feel into this for yourself. You have your dream. This really is precious and important to you. And fight, flight, or freeze has been winning. Find it. Feel what it feels like now. Drop into safely and responsibly finding the stuck emotion underneath it. If it's fight, the stuck emotion is grief. If it's flight, the stuck emotion is fear. And if it's freeze, the stuck emotion is anger. Find it. Find it. It won't kill you. It won't hurt anybody else. Find the stuck emotion underneath it all right here, right now. That is what's blocking you from that dream coming true for you. That number one thing you want being your reality. Find the emotion, and all I need you to do right now is breathe it in. And breathe it out. And as you connect to the emotion, you're not hurting anybody, and most importantly, you're not hurting yourself anymore, denying your humanity and your raw real beautiful emotion that, just like a newborn baby, wants you to give it a little bit of care and nurturing and attention. There ain't nothing wrong with anger, Melissa. It's beautiful. It's a catalyst for what's correct and right action. There ain't nothing wrong with fear, Chandra. There ain't nothing wrong with joy, Osa. There ain't nothing wrong with any of these beautiful emotions— anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement. Just practice breathing it in and breathing it out. And finally, connect to the emotion of joy. Whether it feels comfortable or not, I just want you to practice connecting to darker emotions, and then now most importantly to joy. Just find joy. And if it's difficult, that's okay. That's okay. Do your best. It's enough. Just go there with me. Find the joy. And now. Breathe in the joy and breathe out the joy. Breathe it in, breathe it out. Breathe it in, breathe it out. And as you breathe in the joy and breathe out the joy, I want you to feel your heart open. I want you to feel your capacity To hold and trust joy, expand. Joy doesn't mean something bad is going to happen, or the other shoe's gonna drop, or you're gonna be punished, or left, or villainized. Joy is your birthright, and it is who the fuck you really are. I promise. There is a you who is joyfully fulfilled. There is a you who isn't afraid to remember that who you fuck you are is joy. Just feel into the joy. That is how life is supposed to feel as the rule. Not the exception, and we can always return there. And it's safe to be excited, and it's safe to be joyful, and it's safe to remember who the fuck you are so you can be who the fuck you are and no longer have to pick and choose. Who do I need to be now in this relationship? Who do I need to be now in this area of my life? Because like we talked about day one. It's exhausting to have to be one version of you at home, one version of you as a parent, one version of you with your spouse, one version of you at work, one version of you with your family of origin, one version of you with your friends, one version of you when you're by yourself. It's exhausting. I just want you— you let your freak flag fly. Let them see you joyful. Not in a toxic positivity way, in a this is the truth of who I am way. And I just want to take you on one more little bit of a journey where you feel into imagining waking up joyful with an open heart, not trying to make the best of bullshit, genuinely joyful and grateful that who you've become Is in charge now, and that who you've become decides who you're gonna be, how you're gonna feel, and the experience you're gonna have. I want you to imagine you knowing and trusting yourself, safe with yourself so profoundly That with certainty, you know, there's nothing you can't lead, navigate, or handle as the joyfully fulfilled, emotionally healed, free, beautiful you. I want you to imagine how this is going to change your children's future, that version of you taking over. Giving survival you every time she shows up a hug and a kiss and putting her in timeout for a minute, letting her know you'll be back. She's super loved, but you're gonna lead this moment, not her. She can have a little timeout. I want you to know this is available for you. The triggers will happen, but there are access to where More survival was present. More emotional healing is needed than you were aware of before. It's all good news. Imagine feeling what it feels like to feel the warmth of your joy pouring out of your heart like a big giant Care Bear stare. Imagine it's safe to let the world know how big your heart is, how Big your voice is, how big your power is, how big who the fuck you are really is. And you're not afraid to take up space another second, and you're not earning your right to take up space by trying to achieve more or chameleon yourself into whoever you've had to be up until now. Oh no, those days are done. You just get to remember who the fuck you are from this moment forward. And nobody can take that away from you. And if a circumstance made you less you after this boot camp, you let that be okay. Now, there will be moments where you didn't even realize you were doing it. And I have so much compassion for habits, default behaviors, Default coping strategies. But my goal is after this boot camp, you catch it faster and faster and faster and faster. So by the time you're aware of it, you don't defend or justify. See, this happened, so now I can't be me. See, this happened, so now I have to just stay exhausted. See, this happened, so see, now I got to be frustrated. Whatever it might be. Nope. As soon as you're aware of it, it doesn't have to stay okay. That survival wins out. Okay. Yes. So big question coming up. Everybody can take a deep breath. Open your eyes. I love this question. How do you actually let yourself feel grief and fear without staying stuck in those emotions, or let yourself experience joy? Without guilt. Go back to days 3 and 4 of the boot camp. And again, there were so many seeds planted. There is so much we covered over these 5 days together. Please revisit the materials as often as you need to and the emotional healing map as often as you need to. And then To answer your question, how do you learn how to fully break through? You have me coach you and walk you through the experience of actually having a full-on emotional healing breakthrough. There's more available to you here, and now I think is the perfect time for us to talk about that. So if you've had a bunch of realizations, a bunch of feelings come up, a bunch of emotions come up. If you're seeing where you have patterns and cycles that you are unwilling to continue walking out and living in your day-to-day life, then your perfect next step is absolutely private work with me. For over 25 years, I have been helping people in marriages and families get results and experience healing that most people in my industry would say are impossible. But it's not. The results you get with me as your coach are very normal in my world when a lot of other industry experts would say that can't happen. It always does with me. So how does it work? Once you and I are working together, you get this safe, space and a benevolent witness and a very gifted facilitator to help you connect to the emotion and move it so you can heal up that stuck age and become the age you are now, and then actually get what you want. Remember, with emotional healing, you receive and get what you want, you keep and hold what you want, and you get to enjoy What you've created without emotional healing, we do not keep, and we can't receive, and we can't enjoy. So the process is emotional healing equals receive, keep, enjoy. That's what we want. It's supposed to be so good for you now. So what the work with me does is it permanently changes your relationship to your triggers. We really do one at a time. Make your trigger your bitch, and I walk you through in a one-time expedited contained totally confidential private experience with me the healing required to break those generational cycles for good. One on one, you and I can get you emotionally healed, emotionally free faster than you can imagine, feeling better than you can imagine, giving your kids the most liberated. Gorgeous, regulated you to the point where you don't get dysregulated because of other people's crazy or chaos or dysregulation anymore at home or at work. So what my team and I have done is we have made available for all of you going through the Remember Who the Fuck You Are boot camp a complimentary free 30-minute consult with me. So in email or DM Just reply, comment the word consult, and we will get you the details to schedule your time with me. But it's too big to talk about. I want you to bring on the consult your questions, what has come up for you. I want to hear personally about your experience at the boot camp, and from there I can guide you to a one-time gift that you give you and your family. This work of healing isn't done. This there's always more work to do nonsense—not when I'm your coach. I will guide you in our consult to the right next step for you. That's a one-time investment that does fully break you through emotionally and does fully break patterns and does fully break generational cycles permanently and for good—for you, for your kids, for your family, and for your business. So just message me either in DM or email consult. And we'll get you all of those details, how to book with me. I absolutely guarantee that moving on this and meeting with me sooner rather than later is a smart choice. Don't forget, we've also got the giveaway coming up, so get me your worksheets from day 1 through 5 by midnight on Sunday, August 30th, and you'll be in the running for that. But book your consult with me. And with that, ladies, thank you for remembering who the fuck you are. I cannot wait for our time together on our private consult. And you are the cycle breaker. You are the one who's going to heal so your kids get emotional safety in your home and you get the emotional safety you've always desired. And I'm so proud of you and I'm so in love with you and I'm so deeply honored that you shared this 5 days with me, and I can't wait for where our journey together goes next. Healing is possible. I love you with all my heart, and I will see you very soon on our call.