Ep 1: Reconnection Before Correction: How to Win Back Your Child's Heart

If you're a parent looking for practical, sound, solid advice in an ever-increasing dangerous world, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Richard Ramos.

If you're a parent today, a single parent, a stepparent living in a blended family, or even a grandparent, I want to tell you. Actually, I want to remind you of what I believe that you already know, and that is that we are living in a different time. We are living in a different world. These are unprecedented times, and we are dealing with issues that sometimes we don't even understand. Young people are dying in record numbers by fentanyl and drug overdoses. Stories about young women whose lives have been brutally taken. Schools that are confusing our children as to whether or not they are a boy or a girl. Government and courtroom judges undermining our parental authority. Not to mention the age-old problems of youth violence, gangs, teen pregnancy. And now with the social media and smartphones, every time our children open the phone, scroll the screen, or swipe through a feed, They are being bombarded by powerful voices that are competing for their heart, for their mind, and most importantly, for the loyalty that causes them to make choices that are either negative lifestyles or that make their friends more important than their parents. Hello everybody, and welcome to The Parent Whisperer. I'm Richard Ramos, your host. And let me start off by assuring you of one thing. If you are dealing with any of these issues or some that I didn't mention, I want you to know that you are not alone, and that's why I created this podcast. You see, I just want to be able to reach more parents because I've been working with thousands of parents from suburban homes to urban neighborhoods, from correctional facilities, community event centers, all across the United States and internationally for the last 30 years. And I have seen firsthand the heartbreak, the frustration, and the pain that parents carry when they feel that they are losing the connection with their kids. And I know that pain because I've lived it myself. As a parent, stepparent, and grandparent, I've walked the hard roads. I've made the mistakes. I've learned the hard lessons. And you know what I've discovered? That today in parenting, what we need to understand is that this is more than just about shaping behavior or shaping character. Or controlling outcomes. It really is about winning— winning the heart, winning the mind, and winning the loyalty of our children. Now, this podcast isn't about trying to sell you another program or promising you quick fixes, but it is about time-tested principles, real-world solutions, and Tools that you can start using today. Tools that will help you strengthen your family, build trust, and reclaim the leadership that you as a mom and dad should have. And let me reassure you that no matter where you are as a family, no matter what things look like, you are in the right place. And together, we can tackle these big issues that you might be facing Right now, because I understand that you are in a real-world battle and you are in need of real-world coaching to give you some wins. Wins to help our kids navigate the overwhelming pressures of social media. Wins to lead your family in emotional maturity and not just authority. And wins that build loyalty that will outlast rebellion and peer pressure. Now, let me say that I am not a guru, but I do want to be a guide. Every week, I want to be here to walk with you through some of these struggles, some of these setbacks, but also some of the joys and the breakthroughs that we can experience together. And what I'm sharing with you are not theories. These are tools that have transformed thousands of families, and that's because it starts with you, mom and dad. You see, the way I see it is that your children are the future influencers, and you are in the best position to influence them. To influence their character, to influence their integrity. You are the most powerful voice in their life, or at least you can be. And I believe that parents are the most important asset in the community. Now listen, mom and dad, I want to assure you that you are in the right place. Please hit subscribe. Let's stay together. Let's grow together as parents on a mission that are raising up children that will raise up our community. And that's what this podcast is all about. I want to start by talking about a struggle that a lot of parents are dealing with and ask me about. They say, Richard, why is my child not listening to me anymore? And, and what can I do to, to re-establish a connection with them? For example, do all or many or some of your conversations that you start to have with your kids end up in a, a yelling match or a screaming match or an argument? Well, if that's the case, let me assure you, you are not alone. And what I want to do is just talk a little bit about how You can start to re-establish the connection that seems to be slipping away from your relationship with your son or your daughter. I want to share with you a story that I received a letter actually from a young woman. This is Adriana's story. And she wrote me a letter, and in that letter she described to me what was going on in her home as a single mother with 2 daughters. And she was telling me in this letter that they could not even be in the same room together on a daily basis without there being yelling, screaming, and sometimes that turned into things being thrown, things being broken, and oftentimes things got physical. She explained to me that in that letter that it— had it not been for her participation In the Parent on a Mission classes that she was taking, she would have been arrested and thrown in jail. Her daughter would have been taken away from her by the child welfare services, and her other daughter either would have committed or attempted to commit suicide. That's how bad and ugly things got. Now, she was taking these classes, and in the course of taking these classes, all of this was happening, and she began to get discouraged because Nothing was changing. But in one of the classes, we have this exercise where we encourage parents, why not try writing your son or your daughter or your children a note, a heartfelt letter? It doesn't have to be long. It just needs to be sincere and heartfelt. And so that's what she did. She wrote this letter out. One for each of her daughters, just a short note or a short letter, just apologizing to them because she recognized that she was part of the problem, that she wasn't always responding in the way that she wanted to. And she recognized that. And so she was telling them, you know, that she was sorry and that she loved them and, you know, those kinds of things. So she went home that night, she gave them the letter, and the next day in the morning, the one daughter who she felt was on the verge of suicide came into her room, laid down next to her, told her she loved her, and thanked her for the letter. Well, obviously they had a, a moment of reconciliation. And transformation began to take place. Now, I have to be honest, not everything is perfect there. They're still working things out. But here's the point: things are much better by that simple act of a mother taking leadership and responsibility to recognize her part in what was going on in their home and simply to apologize for it. You see, one of the things that we learn in raising children, in dealing with these issues, is that when children begin to rebel, they're not always rebelling about the rules in our home. It's about the relationship. Somehow they feel a loss of attachment. They feel that there's a lack of trust. They feel unheard. They feel unseen. And oftentimes when that begins to happen, as a parent, we want to demand obedience, demand respect, and start to exercise our authority. But see, what I'm talking about is earning respect, about winning loyalty, winning the heart, winning the mind. And that way, we begin to establish a reconnection before correction. So here's what I would like to challenge you to do this week. Just take 5 minutes, maybe 10 minutes, it's up to you, however long you want to take, and just sit down and try this writing letter exercise. Now listen, if you send your daughter or your son a text or an email, you know, those things are great as well. But we all know there's something special about sitting down and thoughtfully, word for word, writing out a letter expressing your heart. And in this case, it was a letter of an apology. In your case, it may not be an apology. Well, you can just simply tell your son, tell your daughter how much you appreciate them, how much you think about them, and how much you love them. And in this letter, say things have been rough lately. Don't make any excuses and don't give any explanations to any of that. Just simply be genuine and transparent and sincere. Just try it. And see what happens. Now, the key here in re-establishing this connection with our kids and, and winning them back, if you feel like you're losing that connection, the key is consistency. See, what our children need, they need our guidance. We know that. But before that, they need our heart. And if we are willing to show up With our presence of humility and love, that begins to rebuild the bridge that leads to trust and long-term influence. And that's what we want, is that influence. Now, I got to be honest, it's not going to happen overnight. But if you keep showing up consistently that way, your child will definitely Notice the difference, and that's where the real transformation in their heart begins to take place. So listen, I'd like you to do that this week. And listen, if you know somebody, a family member or friend, that you feel they're in need, share this episode with them. Hit the subscribe button and, and share with somebody that you feel like this could really speak to where they're at. In our next episode, I want to share something that I believe every child craves from their parents but rarely gets it in today's fast-paced world. And it's not time, it's not money, or discipline. So this is an episode you don't want to miss. I'm Richard Ramos, and you've been listening to the Parent Whisperer podcast. Remember, I am with you. See you next time.

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