Ep 14: Creative Things My Parents Did

If you're a parent looking for sound, solid advice on how to raise your child in an ever-increasing dangerous world, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Richard Ramos.

Creative things parents did to make their childhood.

Magical.

Pajama rides. We didn't have much growing up, but sometimes right before bed, my dad would yell out, pajama ride! And all 5 of us would jump in the car and get ice cream and tailgate. My mom would randomly wake me up late and say, oh my goodness, I think you're sick today, with a wink. Then we'd go get donuts and have a skip day together. It was my favorite. Unexpected treat. My husband and I write a letter every year on my daughter's birthday and put it in a bucket so she can open them all on her 18th birthday. She'll feel so special the day she becomes an adult. We tell her all the milestones she hit that year, all the new things we did and learned, the places we went, the events we attended, etc. We just tell her About the whole year, basically. And we always end it by telling her how special and loved she is. Always. And similarly— did I say that right? Similarly? My mom wrote us a letter the night before the first day of school every year. She gave me a box with all of them the night I graduated from high school. Here's another. On the first day of school each year, my dad would buy my sisters and me a bunch of flowers to represent the grade we were in. Then by our senior year, we got a dozen roses. Hey everybody, welcome to the Parent Whisperer podcast. Thank you for listening. I'm Richard Ramos. Now, if you're wondering if you're doing enough as a parent, if you're worried about losing your kids to social media influencers, if you're looking for creative ways to create an attachment, a connection, and build a cool relationship with your children, these things that I just read to you are some very simple yet thoughtful, fun, and powerful ways of winning the heart Mind and loyalty of your children, which, if you've been listening to me at any length of time or read my book, you know that is the core message of Parents on a Mission. So let me repeat. You say, Richard, I've heard it before. That's okay. I want to repeat it as much as I can to parents everywhere, all the time. And it's simply this, Mom and Dad, you are in a daily competition, a daily battle, a daily battle for the heart, for the mind, and for the loyalty of your children. And if you don't know that or understand that, you're not even in the game, and you need to get in the game. I recently read an article about a European-funded study called MIMIC, M-I-M-I-C, which is investigating the role of digital media in the lives of adolescents. Thousands of teens in Belgium, France, and Slovenia took part in the study, which will conclude this year in December. So here's what it's— not this, not the whole article, but enough to Make my point. Our goal was to understand if young people can grow up in a digital world while maintaining a healthy balance. See, that is the issue today. That is a huge issue. When I talk about this daily battle, you know, I don't have to tell you how much our kids, even adults, but I'm not talking about adults, our kids are on that screen. All right, so it goes on. The MIMIC researchers examined how teens interact with platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat when they post and consume, as well as how it's affecting their mood, their self-image, and their views on the world. We also looked at content posted by influencers popular with adolescents and the political and ethical opinions they express. The researchers analyzed extensive online content from music lyrics to Instagram posts by celebrities, influencers, and athletes. Now listen, here it is right here. At the end of the day, says these researchers, these influencers are opinion makers. They're not just promoting beauty tips or shopping habits. They're selling moral values and identity to audiences who are at a vulnerable stage of life. My, my, my, that is a lot and something that parents, we need to pay attention to this. Myself as a grandparent, I want to pay attention to this, and I think that more and more parents are really beginning to realize the power of social media. It's not just this fun habit, although it could be a bad habit, but it's not just this fun thing. There's a lot going on in the heart and mind of our children and the power and the negative effect it can have on kids. I know I'm not saying it's all bad, and I use social media myself, of course, Of course, I'm not saying that, but it is definitely changing things in this generation, and especially in parent-child relationship and the challenge to our family values. So what to do? The answer is as simple as these things that the parents did with the adults. The adults were asked the question, What did your parents do? And that's the things I read to you, those were their answers. Oh, I remember my mom and dad did this and this and this. And these things, they were creative things that their parents did. And this is what is needed, this kind of stuff, along of course with all the other aspects of raising respectful and healthy, happy, and resilient children. Obviously those things are very important, but what about just having fun? I mean, those things sounded like fun. I mean, I could talk about the things I used to do with my kids. I would tell them stories. I'd make up a story on the spot putting my kids to bed sometimes. And just, you know, and one of the things I would do— we lived in a cul-de-sac— and when I'd pull up to the house, instead of pulling up into the driveway, I would go around and around and around and around in the cul-de-sac. And my kids used to crack up, and they would love that. It's just things like that. That make memories for a lifetime, and it solidifies your relationships. So let me end, but let me give you a few more. My single mom of 6 would line us up for love time, which consisted of hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation. Waiting in line was the same thrill as waiting to get On a roller coaster. Imagine that. Here's another. When my mom made pancakes, we had to catch them on our plates. We stood 5 or 6 feet above from the stove and she flung them in the air. The 5-second rule applied. In other words, if you dropped it, you know, you pick it up and it's still good to eat. And if you— if it's not down there for longer than 5 seconds. Here's another one. The first time I went away to camp, I was so nervous. I opened my bag and there was a cassette player. Remember those? Anybody out there? A cassette player? In my bag, there was a cassette player and a different tape for each night. It was my mom's voice reading to me like we did every night. My dad made my lunches for school and always took a bite out of the corner of my sandwich and left a note. That bite is a tradition when we make sandwiches in my family. My husband does it now. Imagine that! What a great tradition! Here's another one. My mom turned cleaning days into days of fun. She would throw open the windows, put Shania Twain on full blast, and everyone would grab a rag and start cleaning with dancing and karaoke breaks in between. My mom. Couldn't afford a pretty new bike for me when I was 8. So she found one at a garage sale, used spray paint, and made me the most beloved bike I ever had. The memories of that summer are rich. Think about this one. When Prince William and Kate Middleton— those of you who know them in England, the royalty fam— the royal family— when Prince William and Kate Middleton got married, my mom took me out of school So we could dress up in fancy hats, have lemon cake, and watch the wedding. What a great thing to do with your daughter. All right, a couple more. Just showing up. One thing I will always remember is my dad showing up to my 8th grade graduation totally white, covered in limestone dust, because he had rushed from work to be there. That's what I call a parent on a mission. My parents would have a choreographed proud dance that they would perform for us when we accomplished anything. My dad called the radio station on my birthday every year and wished me a happy birthday and requested Butterfly Kisses to be played. One more. Every day after school, my mom and I had us time for an hour. She gave me undivided attention, and we'd do activities led by me with no distractions. I loved it so much. So in this episode, I just thought I would share some simple but effective and creative ways to connect with your kids in this digital age that a lot of parents are worried about. And I believe— rather, actually, I know— if you will accept these ideas and suggestions, make it— make up your own in your own way, and implement them on a consistent basis, you will see a positive rise In your parent-child relationships, and that's what this is all about. Hey, you've been listening to the Parent Whisperer Podcast. Make sure you hit the subscribe button and share these episodes with your family and friends. And if you want more resources, you can always go to my website richardrramos.com. Don't forget my middle initial, richardrramos.com, and you'll find more resources there. So let me remind you one more time, Parents on a Mission is not for bad parents. It's for good parents who want to get better. See you next time.

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