Ep 18: Why POM?

If you're a parent looking for sound, solid advice on how to raise your child in an ever-increasing dangerous world, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Richard Ramos.

In today's world, for reasons we will make clear. Parenthood is being undermined. We face much insidious competition that would draw our children away from us, while simultaneously we are drawn away from parenthood. We no longer have the economic and social basis for a culture that would support parenthood and hold its mission sacred. If previous cultures could assume that the attachment of children to their parents was firm and lasting, we do not have that luxury. As modern parents, we have to become conscious of what is missing, of why and how things are not working in the parenting and education of our children and adolescents. That awareness will prepare us for the challenge of creating a relationship with our children in which we The caregiving adults are back in the lead, free from relying on coercion and artificial consequences to gain our children's cooperation, compliance, and respect. It is in their relationship with us that our children will reach their developmental destiny of becoming independent, self-motivated, and mature beings. Valuing their own self-worth and mindful of the feelings, rights, and human dignity of others. That's from the book Hold On to Your Kids by Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Meitei. Hey everybody, welcome to the Parent Whisperer podcast. I'm Richard Ramos, and what I read to you, as you know, This is my subject. This is my theme for the very reason of what I read from their book, Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Be More Important Than Peers. And the book just talks about how the day and age in which we are living in, this digital age, our kids have access to anybody, just about anybody in the world, anywhere. 24/7, 365, because of the internet and smartphones and computers and laptops and things like that. And basically the point they're making is the point I'm always trying to encourage parents, is that do not take the loyalty or your— the attachment, as he calls it, the attachment of your children to you for granted. That's a mistake. And so many young people are being lured away by these social media influencers, and it just goes on and on. Or even if it's just the ongoing texting or the bullying or the name-calling, the Facebook, the TikTok, all this stuff that is what he says, and I completely agree, undermining our parenthood, undermining our authority, undermining our values. It's undermining us as the authority figures of our children. So I want to encourage you, as you've been listening to this podcast, I want to encourage you in that I'm going to be releasing very soon on my website the Parent on a Mission classes. Now what I've been doing for many years before now releasing these classes online, I've been doing a 3-day training on I call it a certification of parent mentors. Just think about when, you know, usually you hear of youth mentors, people that are adults who want to work with youth, and so they sign them up as mentors. Well, I took that same idea, realizing that parents as well need mentors or coaching, if you want to look at it that way, because it is kind of the same thing. You're coaching, you're encouraging, And so that's the reason that I wrote my curriculum. That's the reason I wrote my book. The reason I just released my new book on the art of step parenting, how to blend families without tearing them apart. And all of this is it's about the family. The most important foundational thing that we have in society is the family. And for many years, I just. Felt that it was just being undermined. And we all know, you know, the divorce rate and the stepparents and all these things that I've talked about and written about. If we don't continue to build our family and build our relationships, and it's just an ongoing lifelong thing, it has a detriment effect on society, on the neighborhood. Now, wherever you might live, just think about it. Think about your neighbors. Think about You say, wow, these are great neighbors, you know, great families. There's the mom and the dad, and they're always with the kids and playing with the kids or taking them to sports or hanging out, you know, doing those kinds of things. And, you know, you feel safe, you know, you say hi, have a conversation. Just think about that, the neighborhood. But on the other hand, well, I could just say I didn't grow up in a neighborhood like that. There was, yes, there were some people that were nice people, but You know, a lot of times people are growing up in not such nice neighborhoods where the neighbors are not trustworthy, where you don't even talk to your neighbors, or you have nothing in common, and the kids are, you know, a mess, and these things are not good. And so what I'm trying to do, I'm just trying to do my part and trying to encourage you as a mom, as a dad, as a stepmom or a stepdad, as a blended family And how important your role is, how important what you're doing every day, and not taking it for granted, and not feeling like, oh, I'm just a stay-home mom, or I'm just a dad, or I'm just a— no, no, mom and dad, you need to stop thinking that way and understand you are having a huge impact. You might have one kid, you might have 5 kids, it doesn't matter, but We're sending our kids out into the neighborhood, to the school. Eventually, we send them out as maybe as employee or an employer, maybe they'll start a business. But all of that is building society. It's building our communities. And we want the safe and healthy communities. So there's a lot of things that, you know, are out there. Contributing to that, but what parents on a mission is about is exactly what it says: parents who are on a mission because we understand that our children are the future, and we have it—the future—in our hands. How we are molding them, how we are shaping them, how we are talking to them, how we are treating them, how we discipline them, how we live with them, how we. role model for them. All of those things, helping them to feel good about themselves, helping them to have that self-worth and that self-esteem and that emotional stability, all of that, that is what makes a community, a neighborhood healthy and safe. So what I'm doing, I video recorded all the lessons that I teach in Parents on a Mission. And before, all I was doing was just training people to take this curriculum and teach it, because I'm just one person. And that's another reason why I'm doing this podcast, because I just want to continue to reach out and reach more people everywhere through my books, through my website, And now through this podcast and an online course, Parents on a Mission. Now this is not to train you to be a POM mentor, a Parent on a Mission mentor, where you will take the curriculum and then you're certified, then now you're the one teaching it. That's not what this is. This is just an online course for you, mom, for you, dad, at your own leisure, at your own pace. To just get in front of your computer or your phone or however you want to look at, watch it in laptop or you could hook it up to the TV and just receive the instruction. Just receive you know the principles that I'm sharing and I'm going to share those with you. What exactly that I'm teaching and what you're going to learn. But all I can tell you is you know the testimonies I've had so many testimonies. That they just keep coming and people are just— and I, you know, I'm very humble. I hate to have to be the one to say all this, but you know, they're just blessed. I don't know how else to say it. I'll read one here. This is from a father in up north. I live in Santa Barbara, as you guys know. This is from one of the fathers. He says, hello, my name is Alan. I would like to share my testimony about how Richard's book, The Art of Stepparenting, and his Parents on a Mission program has helped me become a better stepfather. As a child, I suffered a lot of physical, verbal, and mental abuse at the hands of my parents. Insults and beatings were a normal part of how I was raised. As a result of this, My mindset on how children are supposed to be raised was very damaged. This affected me very much when I married my wife, who already had three children. Richard has taught me how to break free from the damaged way that I believe children should be raised. Parents on a Mission has taught me how to be patient and calm with my stepchildren. I am now more kind and understanding of their needs. I will always be grateful for POM and how it has helped me become a better stepfather and man. I recommend POM to any stepparent who desires a positive change. Respectfully, Alan Alacon. Now, I mean, just in that one testimony, you see what he's saying. And he's talking about this book, The Art of Step Parenting, but I've had the same similar comments I could read to you from my other book, Parents on a Mission: How Parents Can Win the Competition for the Heart, Mind, and Loyalty of Their Children. So these 2 books, these— this is what you're going to learn. The information that are in these 2 books And you heard this, the testimony. And like I said, I could read more testimonies. It's going to help us. It's going to help you as a father, as a mother, as a— if you're a stepparent, all of these things for the purpose of building safe communities, healthy communities, because that's what you're doing in your home with your children. So I'm going to be releasing that online series and I'll let you know when that happens. It's not— it's being put on my website as I speak. So that should be coming out in the next, maybe by the next podcast on Thursday. I'll let you know. I'll give you an update. But here's what I teach. These are the 6 core principles that you'll learn And Parents on a Mission. The first one is personal growth, parent personal growth, and that's exactly what it is. So let me read to you a little bit about it. The purpose of this session is to help parents understand the importance of their own emotional growth and maturity as leaders in their home. The material guides parents to an inside-out approach to personal growth and how it relates to their ability to nurture the growth and maturity of their children. So we got to grow ourselves. As I say all the time, growing old is automatic, growing up is not. And we gotta— it's a lifelong project, if you want to call it that. I'm always working on myself. Okay, so that's the first session you're going to learn. Second is authoritative parenting. Parental authority is by far the most overlooked and undermined principle to raising obedient children. This lesson emphasizes why parents must not abdicate authority over their children. In other words, not give up your authority. You need to maintain your position of the authority in their life. POM teaches parents how to win the battle of child obedience and earn respect for their authority at an early age. Parents will learn skills that will prepare children for dealing with peer pressure in the neighborhood and school campus. Very important. Third, you're going to learn about authoritative parenting and the proper use of discipline. Parental use of discipline is one of the most controversial topics amongst child advocate experts Consequently, many parents are confused and afraid to exercise discipline in the lives of their children. This session will define the true meaning of discipline and give guiding principles on how to properly exercise it. Next, Building Safe Communities. Citizenship and the instruction of the individual's role in the family and community is the purpose of Session 5. Parents gain insight of the family unit as a microcosm of society and how they guide their children as contributing members of their community. Suggested activities are given to assist parents in how to build community in their home. And then I talk about reconciliation, which is huge topic of simply understanding why we need to forgive each other. Why we need to work through our problems and not suppress them, you know, not talk about them. You know, something happens—a falling out, an argument, or whatever—and then nobody wants to say anything. Nobody apologizes. We just sweep it under the rug, and then, you know, it just causes more problems later on. So I talk about all of that. And how do you reconcile when there's been a problem? How do you Bring it back together and bring peace so that we can just keep moving forward and through forgiveness, understanding, love, patience, etc. And then finally, the final lesson is on loyalty, which I call the golden key of prevention. How do you win the loyalty of your children? As I already mentioned, Don't take it for granted. Loyalty is the golden key of producing happy, healthy children. One of the key elements of children who go astray is their willingness to pledge their loyalty to other things or people above their own family. This session explains why parents are losing the battle for loyalty to their competition and provides guidance on how to overcome And win the battle for loyalty. So all of that in these lessons. Each video is anywhere from 12 to 15 minutes long. They're not very long. You can watch them stop and start at your own leisure. And I think there's— I don't know, there's like 15 or 16 short videos. So that's what's coming up. I just wanted to give you a heads up. I already told you about my new book. And listen, I just hope that you will give it a shot. Give my material a shot. Go to my website. You can buy my books. They're there. There's some other free resources there that you can download. There's some other videos there that you can hear me explain or see me working in the prison with Parents on a Mission, things like that. But all of it to say this: listen, man, I just love you. I appreciate you. And I want to do everything I can to give you that happy, healthy home. And that's how we build happy, healthy communities. So you've been listening to the Parent Whisperer podcast. I'm Richard Ramos. Please leave a review, subscribe, share these episodes with your family and friends, and remember. Parents on a Mission is not for bad parents. It's for good parents who want to get better. See you next time.

So that's it for today's episode of the Parent Whisperer podcast. Head on over to Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts will win a chance in the grand prize drawing. To win a $10,000 private VIP day with Richard himself, be sure to head on over to parentwhispererpodcast.com and pick up a free copy of Richard's gift and join us on the next episode.