Ep 27: Should your Child be in Therapy

If you're a parent looking for sound, solid advice on how to raise your child in an ever-increasing dangerous world, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Richard Ramos.

Hello everybody, and welcome to the Parent Whisperer podcast. I'm Richard Ramos. So I recently read this article, 7 Signs Your Child Should See a Therapist. Now the word should being the keyword that caught my attention. This is kind of a follow-up to our last episode on why youth commit acts of violence because it's talking again about the mental health of children. So I don't know how many of you have ever wondered Or asked yourself if your child needed to be in therapy. And to be honest and full disclosure, you know, I've never been a big fan of putting small children in therapy. Maybe a little older kids, but I'm, you know, small children, 5, 6, 7, 8 years old, I've never been a big fan of that, or when they're prescribed medication. But that said, that's my Unprofessional opinion. I'm not a psychologist, a psychotherapist, or a psychiatrist. So you might be thinking, well, then what business do I have commenting on the subject of child therapy? Fair question. My answer is threefold. One, I've worked with many, many high-risk youth, inmates in prisons, in jail, in juvenile hall. Some of them had therapists and/or were on medication. And very simply, my layman observation over many years was not seeing a lot of effectiveness or change. Second, one of my sons works with special ed students, has worked with special ed students for years. Again, some of them with therapists and medication, same observation, not a lot of effective change. And third, and maybe most important, is the very questionable biomedical and other scientific research, which I will get to in a second here, about the things that have been going on with the science research in medicine and biomedical aspects. Now, am I saying that therapy and medication have no positive effects? No, I'm not saying that. But as I mentioned, I do have reason to be skeptical. And biomedical research includes, remember, the development of drugs and treatments for mental health, including those intended for children. So you can do your own research out there. But here's an example. This is from the book The Psychology of Totalitarianism By author Matthias Desmet, D-E-S-M-E-T, his last name. He says, "Quote: To the extent that scientific discourse became an ideology, it's lost its virtue of truth-telling. This crisis emerged when a number of serious cases of scientific fraud came to light. Scientific scans and other imaging were proven to have been." Manipulated. In economics research, replication failed 50%. Now get this part. In economics research, replication failed 50% of the time. In cancer research, replication failed 60% of the time. But in biomedical research, it failed 85% of the time. The time. In 2021, 50% of surveyed academics anonymously admitted that they sometimes presented their findings in a biased way. The measures taken to improve the quality of scientific research, however well-intentioned, failed to address the problem. If we look at the scientific fields with the worst replicability outcomes, It becomes clear that in chemistry and physics, it wasn't that bad. However, in psychology and medicine, the situation is wretched. In those fields, researchers assess extremely complex and dynamic phenomena, the physical and psychological functioning of human beings. Close quote. Now that right there should concern all of us, every all of us. Here's this from the study that's quoted in his book, The Psychology of Totalitarianism. He quotes the study, Why Most Research Findings Are False, and the world-renowned statistician John. Ionidis says, quote, there is increasing concern that most current published research findings are false. Simulations show that for most study designs and settings, it is more likely for a research claim to be false than true, close quote. So I don't know about you, Mom and Dad, but for me, that's just something that I believe when it comes to our children. We need to know these kinds of things. Because we are dependent on these doctors, whether they be MDs or psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, whatever it might be. And then you know we all remember the four out of five dentists say this and four out of five doctors say well all of those kinds of things are coming to light that isn't always true. And so that's my point. So when I read a title like "Seven Signs Your Child Should." See a therapist. Well, for me, I have to admit, in the work I do with families, it just raises red flags for me. Not about the author's intention of who wrote the article. I'm not questioning their motivation or intention. It's just the word should that causes me some concern. So if we look at current stats, again, to the extent that we can trust them, In the United States, they tell us that one in five children has a diagnosable mental, developmental, or behavioral disorder. One in five. So let me go over these seven signs that the article talked about. Okay. Number one was a sign. Again, these are signs that she says your son. Or your daughter should see a therapist. Number 1, excuse me, your child is constantly seeking information. Constantly seeking information from social media or the news or asking parents for reassurance is a key indicator of anxiety. Second, changes in sleep patterns can include sleeping significantly more or less than usual, quote, this may mean a child may be feeling anxious or depressed, close quote. So that's number 2. Number 3, isolation at home. Quote, if you see your child or teen spending more time in their room and not reaching out to family or friends, this is another sign that they may need to get some extra support, close quote. Clinginess. Clinginess may be a signal of anxiety. Clinging, clinginess— I hope I'm saying it right— happens when a child doesn't feel the confidence or resiliency to deal with being alone. Next, increased irritability. Another sign she says that means Your child should see a therapist. In children and adolescents, anxiety is often manifested as agitation, irritability, and quick responses. Number 6, withdrawal from favorite activities. This may be a symptom of depression. In other words, your child really loved doing something, and then all of a sudden they don't want to do it anymore. So that's another sign. And 7, changes in hygiene and eating, like eating significantly more or less. You notice that in your child, it says, or she's saying, it could be a sign of mental health concern. And also neglecting basic hygiene could also be a sign. So on the face of it, You know, do any of these signs strike you with the seriousness of your child needing to see a therapist? Constantly seeking information, changes in sleep patterns, isolation at home, clinginess, increased irritability, withdrawal from favorite activities, changes in hygiene and eating. Sure, those are all signs that we should be concerned about. I don't know that they reached the level of extreme seriousness in my mind. Maybe they do in yours. I think a lot of those things could probably be handled by parents, but I also understand, and I want to respect, that every child, every parent, every family needs to decide for themselves on whether or not they want to consult with a child therapist and get some more input. That's obviously up to every parent, every family. So that leads us to the question, does therapy work? What's the evidence of the effectiveness of it? So some key insights from the literature on the effectiveness of therapy. The CDC emphasizes that early psychological therapy reduces problems at home, school, and with peers, and that therapy can teach children healthy coping skills. Although metadata or meta-analysis show positive average effects, a substantial proportion of children and adolescents do not respond to therapy, and this highlights the need for personalized approaches and combination treatments. Next, therapy combined with medication for some conditions. Psychological therapy may be combined with medication. This combination yields better outcomes than either alone. So that's all according to the CDC, Center for Disease Control. So let's look at some of the benefits. Reduction in symptoms and improved functioning. The average child receiving therapy does better than 2/3 of peers receiving no treatment. Also, therapy teaches emotional regulation, problem-solving, and coping skills, and these tools can have a lasting benefit across home, school, and peer relationships. Also, the therapies that involve parents directly improve parenting strategies and the parent child relationship. Now that's where I'm at right there. I think the parents should be involved in the therapy. I really like that one. I think that's really important. Also, therapies can be adapted to developmental stages, like play therapy for smaller children can be combined with cognitive behavioral therapy for a little older children, and even teenagers can also engage in cognitive and behavioral exercises they learn in therapy. So These therapies can be adapted to the age level of a child. And finally, they recommend— see, this is all from the CDC— recommends home-based treatment appears not to be inferior— home-based treatment not inferior to inpatient care, and it offers a less disruptive and potentially more cost-effective option. for families. So those are the benefits. Some of the limitations regarding therapy: meta-analyses show only modest average improvements, and more than 60% of adolescents in some studies do not respond to therapy. Therapy does not work equally well for all children, and the average benefits have not increased Over decades, so I think that's an important fact to understand. Over 60% are not really responding, and things have not improved over decades as far as therapy goes. A second thing they point out here: only a fraction of children who need therapy receive it, and a lot of that is because there's a shortage of trained therapists, and then of course. There's financial barriers and long waiting lists. Another factor is the time and cost. Intensive therapies like play therapy may require long treatment periods and significant family involvement, and a lot of parents might find that the time commitment and the expense is challenging, and therefore they may not opt to do that. option with these type of intensive therapies. It's called play therapy. And finally, the lack of standardization is a factor. Play therapy and some other modalities lack standardized protocols and large randomized trials. This makes it harder to predict which children will benefit most and to compare outcomes across studies. Some children may struggle with certain approaches. So again, these are just all things that we as parents, especially those of you who have small children, should be aware of and take into consideration. Now also, I asked the question, I wanted to know when and at what age should children start therapy? And the answer No universal start age. It just really depends on the child's need. One study even said that no age was too young to seek help if a child shows persistent disruptive behavior like anger, anxiety, or other concerning feelings that they might have, that no age is too young. Now, I don't Again, I have a little trouble with that one, but again, this is what they are coming out of CDC. So there you have it on whether or not the— again, this whole thing was based on whether or not your child should see a therapist based on those 7 behaviors that I listed earlier. I would say it's a case-by-case basis. Obviously, each parent will have to decide for themselves. And in Parents on a Mission, here's what I just want to encourage parents to remember— these 3 things. Number one, your own knowledge of your child. In most cases, I would say you're in the best position to really know your child, and so just remember that— your own knowledge of your child. And second, is your intuition, to listen to your intuition. Because intuitively, especially with women and mothers, there's just stories I've read of— they had intuitively, they didn't feel good about what was being recommended, they didn't feel good about what was being said, they didn't feel good about the diagnosis and the assessment. But yet sometimes we are intimidated By the experts. And that's my third point, is remember your authority. You have the final say. You are in the authority position. We consult the experts. We can get their input. We can get their opinion. But let's not get intimidated into a decision that may not be in line with our knowledge of our child, our intuition of what's going on. And in their ultimately best interest. We don't want to be as moms and dads just bystanders, you know, in kind of in the stands observing. Like, we want to be partners in this kind of stuff. We want to attend sessions, learn the skills that we can practice at home, and be a consistent and constant Support. Now, in closing, obviously there's resources. You can call. There are share crisis numbers. The one I shared last time, 988, is a suicide and crisis lifeline. You can text. There's the National Domestic Violence Hotline. So there's plenty of resources out there. But I just want to remind parents again, just your role, your love, Your consistency, your attention, your focus is so meaningful for your children. And if your children are struggling in some of these ways that we met— the article mentioned, I just believe you can be definitely, if not the solution to those things, you can certainly be a part of that solution. You've been listening to the Parent Whisperer podcast. I encourage you to subscribe. Leave any comments you might have, a review, agree or disagree. Email me with any questions, and please visit my website richardrramos.com for more resources. I would love to hear from you, your comments regarding these couple of issues that I've talked about in the last two episodes. So as always, remember, Mom and Dad, Parents on a Mission is not for bad parents. It's for good parents who want to get better. See you next time.

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