In this episode of the Parent Whisperer podcast, host Richard R. Ramos opens with a harrowing excerpt from his own memoir and a 14‑year‑old gang member’s testimony, illustrating how trauma, broken attachment, and a lack of trusted adult relationships can drive young people toward destructive paths. Ramos argues that today’s youth are not mindlessly rebelling; they are seeking identity, belonging, and meaning that they are not receiving from families, schools, or communities. He attributes this vacuum to a generational failure of cultural memory, personal responsibility, and moral courage, drawing on the works of conservative thinkers such as Shelby Steele, Thomas Sowell, and Victor Davis Hanson. Ramos critiques modern higher‑education institutions for shifting from their historic Christian, inquiry‑based foundations to ideological conformity, dogma, and protest culture, and he links this shift to the broader societal trend of adults choosing silence, comfort, and “innocence” over hard conversations. The episode highlights the mental‑health crisis among American youth—high rates of anxiety, depression, and even celebration of violence—and blames adult abdication for these outcomes. Ramos calls on parents, mentors, and community leaders to re‑establish relational trust, provide honest historical context, and model the civic virtues of gratitude, integrity, and humility. He urges concrete actions: engage in genuine conversations, become the secure base children seek, and replace ideological indoctrination with character‑building mentorship. The episode concludes with a promotional plug for the podcast, a call for reviews, and an invitation to win a VIP day with Ramos.
If you're a parent looking for sound, solid advice on how to raise your child in an ever-increasing dangerous world, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Richard Ramos.
Everyone wants to know why. Why did you join? You have a family who loves and cares for you. Why, mija? Why? I joined because when I was a little girl, a lot of stuff happened to me that nobody knows about, and I have kept it inside of me all this time. Nobody listened to me, and when they did, they said I was lying. Drug addict dad and workaholic mom. No brothers, no sisters, a stepdad that only wants to touch me, and a babysitter whose son did touch me. My mom always ripping me out of families that I thought were mine. It was all lies. Living in the ghetto wondering why. Can you tell me why? Can you tell me why I was born in this life of sex, drugs, and alcohol? Backstabbing of my so-called real family? I was just a little girl. Damn, those memories are with me forever. I'm scared to live life. I'm scared to trust anybody. I'm scared. So why did I join? I joined because I needed someone, and they were the only ones there. I needed someone to make me feel wanted, and I needed someone to care. That's why. Hello everybody, I'm Richard Ramos and welcome to the Parent Whisperer podcast. The excerpt I just read from my book is from a 14-year-old gang member writing her testimony and answering the question of why. Why was she joining a gang and why was she doing the things she was doing And the people asking it were looking from the outside in saying, you have a loving family. But then she talks about a lot of things that they didn't know. And so that's what I want to focus on, is her answer, which has to do with the failure of attachment, the failure of trust, recognition, love, loyalty. And finding purpose and/or meaning in and from her family. Now, what is happening to our young people today? You've seen the headlines, the protests, the chants, the fury. You've seen teenagers, university students pledging allegiance to ideologies that they barely understand. And maybe you've asked yourself the same question. What is going on? What is happening to our young people? But here's the better question I have for you. What is it that our young people are searching for? Because no one joins a movement, no matter how extreme, out of boredom. They join because it answers a deep Emptiness, a deeper need, a deeper aching, an ache for identity, an ache for belonging, an ache for meaning. And what we're watching now is youth all over the country getting swept up in ideologies that they don't even understand. And really, it's not entirely their fault. Because it's the result of silence, abdication, and fear from both adults, parents, and leaders. So, in speaking to this, I want to borrow from some of the authors that I read that influence me, and that I've learned a lot of wisdom from— voices like Shelby Steele, and Thomas Sowell, Victor Davis Hanson, and others. To draw on their wisdom, that who these authors they emphasize what I've learned is personal responsibility, cultural memory, and what they call moral courage. I mean, you have to be totally living in your own bubble and socially out of touch to not admit that we are living. In strange days, strange times. Now, I understand that maybe all older people like myself always feel that way about the younger generation, but you know, it reminds me of a scripture in the Bible that says, there arose another generation after them who knew not the Lord, nor yet the works he had done.
For Israel.
It's talking about a whole other generation after adults and parents had died off that had no foundation, had no historical knowledge, no memory, no cultural loyalty. That's what we're seeing today. Do you know the history of Harvard and Yale University? Did you know that they were established to promote Christianity and the gospel of Jesus Christ for the betterment and sustainability of a good and free society? I'll bet you a lot of you didn't know that, but you could look it up. But what do we see today on our university campuses? Not only on those campuses, but all over the country. That were once devoted to Christianity, to inquiry, to curious minds, to debate and have a clash of ideas. What do we see now? Dogma, indoctrination in the streets, chanting signs, protests, burning the American flag, standing on the side of people that are full of hatred for other cultures and peoples. In the classroom, ideological conformity is disguised as education, and these young people are passionate. You see them out there, but you know what? Most of the time, they're poorly informed, and they're being swept up in causes that promise clarity and identity But really just are delivering confusion and division. But the hardest truth that we have to swallow, because we need to take responsibility— this stuff didn't start with them, it started with us adults and parents. Because a lot of us chose silence over tension, comfort over confrontation, approval over truth. As author Shelby Steele reminds us, we have become a culture more concerned with innocence than responsibility. We want to be liked. We want to be seen as good, quote unquote, people. We want to be seen as tolerant and progressive people, and so we give up the moral ground. We lower expectations, and we avoid the hard conversations. Thomas Sowell reminds us. He says, "Quote: There are no solutions; there are only trade-offs." Unquote. And one of the gravest trade-offs we've made in this is that we've traded long-term clarity. For short-term comfort. And what is the result? Our young people are paying the price. They're confused, full of anxiety, mental health, and anxious. I forget the exact number in America today leads the world. Young people lead the world in these. They're full of anxiety and full of depression, and they're confused. And then the division. And worst of all, celebration of violence as a moral virtue, as we just witnessed with the assassination of Charlie Kirk. And of this podcast, as of today, we're still seeing this, still witnessing this celebration of an assassination, not only from students But professionals, professional adult employees, professors, teachers, politicians, and media pundits—a lot of them are losing their jobs because of that, and rightfully so. As parents and mentors, we need to ask: What ideas are shaping the young people in our care, under our care? What truths? are being— are we avoiding because they make us uncomfortable or make our kids uncomfortable, so we don't want to talk about it? And have we confused supporting our children with abandoning our responsibility to guide them? In his book, The Dying Citizen, Victor Davis Hanson writes about how we're watching the results of a society that has forgotten the basics of citizenship, gratitude, and historical awareness. I mean, I don't think public schools, or college and university for that matter, are doing a good job of causing young people to be grateful to live in America. That doesn't mean we don't recognize the wrongs and the errors and the things that happened early on, whether it was slavery. And we know there's racism, we know there's been a lot of discrimination, we know those things. America is not innocent. But what about the opportunities? What about all the good? Look at our lives. And that's why we are the envy of the world and why people want to come here. And do we need to get better? Yeah, we do. But we are watching a society that has forgotten the values of these things. And if we're going to turn the tide, it's not because of some post that we put on Facebook or Instagram. It's going to have to come from conversations that are relational with our kids, with our young people of the next generation. Not slogans on a banner, but with truth. Instead of wise adults that are bringing our youth into maturity, we now have ideologues. Demagogues, drawing them into movements. For what and why? Because movements, especially those rooted in moral outrages, which is what we see a lot of, offer the illusion of purpose. They give a clear enemy, a script, A sense of superiority, moral superiority. And perhaps the biggest thing, the intoxicating thing, they offer young people a belonging but without intimacy. And in times of disconnection, anxiety, and loss of meaning, humans are vulnerable to collective narratives. And that's exactly the condition our society is in. And no matter how irrational those narratives are, as long as they offer structure and certainty, people jump on the bandwagon. And that's what we're seeing. And that's why I strongly emphasize to parents in my Parents on a Mission books and curriculum That we are not only raising our kids. Sure, they're our kids, but they are also citizens of the community. They are the future of our community. They're the future society. So here's the question, Mom and Dad. What kind of citizens are we sending into the community every day, into the neighborhood every day? Into the schoolyard every day, into the parks every day? What kind of citizen have we raised to be an employee that has integrity, that has honesty, that has character, that knows how to be obedient to authority and do a good job and not cut corners? What kind of citizens are we sending into the community every day? Because we are the ones who have them in our home from the time they are born. Until they're old enough to establish their own life. And, you know, we're not just witnessing radicalization, and I want you to really hear this. What we're really witnessing is a replacement of parents, a replacement for parent mentorship, parent leadership. Parent authority. And what are they replacing it with? This ideological stuff, this radical mindset, this hatred of people who disagree with you. And if we're honest, we've allowed it. We've built systems that isolate our youth from multi-generational wisdom. We've replaced purpose with performance, community with cliques, conviction with slogans, and in the process, we've left a generation hungry for something deeper. Thomas Sowell said, quote, it takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. That's worth Quoting again, "Quote: It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance." Close quote. So the question is: If we as parents and community mentors have the courage to guide our children. Towards this kind of humility, because that is the antidote. That is the answer. Not more ideology, not louder arguments, yelling at each other, but connection, clarity, and courage. We can't just tell our children and youth what to believe. We must become the kind of people and the kind of parents that they want to believe in, that they want to follow, that they want to emulate. So my challenge to you parents and community mentors and leaders that are listening to this podcast, I want you to ask yourself, are my children or the youth that are under my tutelage truly attached to me? Do they feel seen? Do they feel heard and understood? Do they come to me first, or to TikTok, Reddit, or their activist professors? Because before we can shape a young person's mind, we must first win their trust. If we want to pull them out of these extreme movements, we must become the safe. secure base, the safe, secure home that they are desperate for and searching for and yearning for, even if they don't know how to ask for it. And that is my challenge for you this week as you think about what is going on with our youth. I'm Richard Ramos, and you've been listening to the Parent Whisperer podcast. Subscribe, leave a review, send me your questions, and for more resources on these subjects, visit my website richardrramos.com. And always remember, Mom and Dad, Parents on a Mission is not for bad parents. It's for good parents. who want to get better. See you next time.
So that's it for today's episode of the Parent Whisperer podcast. Head on over to Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts will win a chance in the grand prize drawing to win a $10,000 private VIP day with Richard himself. Be sure to head on over to parentwhispererpodcast.com and pick up a free copy of Richard's gift and join us on the next episode.
