Ep 34: How to Out Influence Social Media Influencers

If you're a parent looking for sound, solid advice on how to raise your child in an ever-increasing dangerous world, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Richard Ramos.

How using social media affects teenagers. Experts say kids are growing up with more anxiety and less self-esteem. Key takeaways: teens miss out on nonverbal cues online, leading to misunderstandings and increased social anxiety. Comparing themselves to perfect images online leads to lower self-esteem when teens feel negative about their appearance or their lives. Parents can help by setting tech-free zones and encouraging activities that help build self-esteem based on abilities and accomplishment, not appearance. Many parents worry about how exposure to technology might affect toddlers developmentally. We know our preschoolers are picking up new social and cognitive skills at a stunning pace, and we don't want hours spent glued to an iPad to impede I can't repeat that. But adolescence is an equally important period of rapid development, and too few of us are paying attention to how our teenagers use technology. Much more intense and intimate than a 3-year-old playing with dad's iPhone is affecting them. In fact, experts worry that the social media and text messages that have become so integral to teenage life are promoting anxiety and lowering self-esteem. Young people report that there might be good reason to worry. A survey conducted by the Royal Society for Public Health asked 14 to 24-year-olds in the UK how social media platforms impacted their health and well-being. The survey results found that Snapchat Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all led to increased feelings of depression, anxiety, poor body image, and loneliness. Welcome back to the Parent Whisperer podcast. I'm Richard Ramos, and thank you for listening. And today we're talking about the influence that is hurting our kids Social media influencers. Now, this is nothing new. I think most of us know this, maybe to some extent more than some, more than others. Some extent you see the impact it's having on your kids, and then other parents maybe you're not as aware. But I've been talking about this for a while now, and not because it's anything again that's giving revelation. But it's just simply a warning to parents to pay attention to this. Now, I know that might sound a little dramatic, but the truth is, I mean, the numbers don't lie. This is happening everywhere, and unfortunately, you know, it's all about getting likes, how many views you get, how many followers you get. And that in itself is not really wrong. That's really not the problem. It's the motive of why do we want all these followers? Why do we want all these likes? And where are we leading those that we are having follow us? So as a social media influencer, that's what parents need to be concerned about because That's who is out there reaching out to and wanting to cause your child to follow them. And again, so okay, what's the motive and where are they being led? So I did a simple Google search. Anybody can do it, but just to look at some of these numbers. Now the studies that I looked at, you know, they vary in numbers. Like how many? I just asked a simple question: How many social media influencers? Are there in America? So this one said that as of late 2024, which is already over a year old, the study suggested that there are around 27 million paid content creators. Now, I consider myself a content creator. So again, that in itself is not bad. I'm creating content and I'm putting it out there and I want to influence people. And my motive is to help you, help families, help parent-child relationships, and lead— that's where I want to lead, to a healthy, happy home. That's my motive. That's where my leadership is going. So again, you know, some of our kids may have the right motive in wanting to lead kids down a good road, but I'm talking about the other side of this. And so there's just millions of content creators out there And we simply need to be aware of it. So for example, one another study by the Keller Advisory Group reported there were 27 million paid content creators in the United States, with 12 million of those working as full-time social media influencers. It's a lot of people. And another study said there were approximately 10.2 million Instagram users in the United States. So again. We know in Instagram that there's more of a younger crowd. And then of course on TikTok, this one study said that as of mid-2023, there were over 100,000 TikTok influencers in the United States, not necessarily users, but people that are influencing, making money, causing following into certain genres and things, just different things like that. So what's my, what's my point? As parents, we know that kids are seeking identity. You know, who am I? What do I belong to? Who am I going to allow myself to be guided by? And that's what Parents on a Mission is all about, because if we don't provide those things at home, then they're obviously going to look for it somewhere else, because that's the way we are wired as human beings. I want to belong. I want to have an identity. I want guidance. And unfortunately, if we're not providing that, then these influencers are going to fill that gap when parents are kind of out of the picture. And that's why I continually harp on the point that we're not just raising kids and correcting their behavior. We're also leading them because we want to Influence their heart, influence their mind. I want to be the influencer. I want to win their loyalty. I don't want to lose the loyalty of my children to somebody else that's just out there, some stranger that may look, you know, one way on the outside, but on the inside, there's too many children, too many young people that are being led down the wrong road. So here's The question, can parents out-influence social media influencers? Can you do that? And my response to that is yes, yes we can. And I'm just going to, in this episode, share with you 5 different things we can do to out-influence the social media influencers that are out there. Number 1 is to secure your attachment. Don't take it for granted. And if you've heard me talk about attachment before, I've said it starts in the womb, and then right when the child comes out of the womb, from that day, day 1, or even before day 1, you are giving that child an emotional attachment to you. You their mom, you their dad. And there's a variety of ways to do that, but the main thing is our affection— talking, holding, hugging, kissing. All of those things are telling that child, you matter, you count, you're important. And you're securing their emotional stability, their emotional self-worth, and you're creating an attachment with them. For the rest of their life. Now, if you have not done that, you know, no sense in beating yourself up. It's not too late. You can cause that reconnection so that you have that attachment with your son or your daughter. And that's how you out-influence these influencers that are out there. The second thing is to stay present. Because as our kids get older, you know, we get busy, they get busy, they start having friends, they start getting involved in different things, and that's, you know, that's fine. But stay present. Your voice, you show up, you're there, you're present, you're having conversation. You're not outsourcing the— your leadership to the coach and the pastor and the teacher. And those things are fine, those people are good, but But you need to stay present also and have that influence. Another thing, number 3, is teach discernment. Teach our children how to discern people. Where are they coming from? What's their motive? Are they trying to help you or just use you? You know, are they building you up or are they using you to build up their following? Things like that. Help our kids, you know, be discerning because unfortunately not everybody's trustworthy. We can't trust every single person out there that wants trust. You know, we could talk about advertising, false advertising, that want us to trust their products. These commercials and advertisements that they're on, whether it's on the radio or the TV or the internet, whatever it is, What basically they want—they want us to trust that they have our best interests at heart, and we can buy their product and believe that it's going to benefit our life. I mean, all of that. But we have to use discernment because we already know it's not always true. So teach discernment. Another thing, number four, is just to be be a model of healthy influence myself—that I can show my kids. You know, who do I follow and how do I follow them? That I'm thinking for myself. I'm not just following somebody blindly and just believing everything that's being said, and not doing my own homework, not doing my own research, not going to the resource or the source I should say of information and resources to do my due diligence. If I'm really going to make a decision, whether it's a financial decision, a faith decision, a career decision, a moving my family. Family decision, you know, all of those life-changing decisions. Obviously, I'm being influenced myself, but I want to demonstrate healthy influence, and I can do that by being a model to my children. I'm doing my own reading. I've done my own research. I've done my own consulting with other people, etc., etc. Not just swallowing the old— what is the old saying— hook, line, and sinker, and just being gullible. And the 5th thing, which we always talk about in Parents on a Mission, is to build emotional maturity. And that is best done by us as parents always growing in our own emotional maturity and being that role model of emotional maturity to our kids. Now I know that none of those principles are new, but that's not the point whether they're new or not. You know, repetition is the mother of all learning. And you know, what we learn from great people is that they're always repeating, repeating, repeating the principles that cause them to be great in the first place. So these principles are not new, but here's the thing that I could say is that they work. They work if we are consistent in practicing them. So listen, let me give you some. If you're out there struggling with this with your kids, you know you feel like you're detached and that they're not listening to you, and that you're boring, and they roll their eyes, and they feel like you know they don't want to be around you, and all of those kind of things. Don't lose hope. Work on yourself. Listen to the teachings I've given. Go back and listen to some of them. Buy the book I wrote. Go to my website. All of these resources are, and there's other resources too. But that's why I do this podcast. I want to encourage you. Too many parents, you give up. Don't give up. And you know, don't wallow in depression. We can take control of our life and be determined to say, no, I'm going to be a better parent. And when you start making those kinds of decisions and grow, and not lose heart, your kids are going to follow. They're going to see a change in you, and that's going to be a powerful motivation for them. And that's how you can outfluence the social media influencers. We're not going to do it by fear, causing our children to have fear, and we're not, certainly not going to do it by trying to control everything that our kids are doing and hearing and seeing. There's a certain amount of that when they're little, but that's a mistake a lot of parents make, especially with teenagers. We try to control everything about their life, and that is just a good way to lose them. Remember, whatever you hang on to, you don't have, but what you let go of, that's what you have, because you can let go of it and you're confident about it. So this is about connection with our kids. It's about attachment. It's about presence. And it's about leadership that earns respect, not demand it, but earns it. I know fitting in with peers is important. I know being socially cool for our kids is important, and gaining or building an audience is important to our youth.

Yeah.

And probably those things are more important than when we were young. And as I said earlier, there's nothing wrong with getting followers, but the question again is motive and where we are leading them. And that's what Parents on a Mission is all about. We are demonstrating to our children proper motive, good leadership, and moral courage at a very important time in our history. So remember, mom and dad, what matters most is that you show up for them consistently. What matters is understanding lovingly. And what matters is authentically caring about what our kids care about. That's what real influence looks like. And that's what will last. Because let me say it again to you, you are the most important person in the life of your children. You are the number one asset in the community. Don't forget it. And that's how we can out-influence social media influencers. I'm Richard Ramos, and you've been listening to the Parent Whisperer podcast. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another parent who needs Encouragement. If you need more resources, you can always go to my website, richardrramos.com. And remember that this podcast is not for bad parents, but it's for good parents who want to get better. See you next time.

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