Ep 42: Introduction: From Understanding to Impact - A 4Part Series on Living What We Teach

If you're a parent looking for sound, solid advice on how to raise your child in an ever-increasing dangerous world, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Richard Ramos.

Hello everybody, I'm Richard Ramos and welcome to the Parent Whisperer podcast. Over the next few episodes, I'm going to do a series I'm calling From Understanding to Impact: Living What We Teach. The series is designed to help us move beyond just head knowledge and into the harder, messier, but more rewarding work of actually applying— or in other words, doing— what we say we know. And I often tell people, if we say we know something but don't do it or aren't living it, then we don't really know it. And my promise to you has been and is based on my own personal results and the results of so many families over all these years, that if we are consistent in applying, not perfectly, but just consistent, In applying the POM and stepparent principles that we teach, especially in the emotional chaos that families and blended families can often bring, we will secure positive results of transformation. That is my promise to you. I often hear, you know, from parents struggling in their relationship with one or more of their children that they become frustrated while attending the POM classes when they don't see results. But I remind them, and I'm reminding you if you are listening to this episode and you're feeling frustrated, that no farmer expects a harvest overnight. No gardener plants seeds and then keeps pulling up the roots to see if there's any progress. The key is to be consistent. And to be kind to yourself when you fail to have a, what I call the POM response, and not give up or give in. Remember, nobody gets parenting right 100% of the time. I certainly don't. But I have also seen results because I keep on plowing, I keep on planting, watering, and cultivating My heart first and also the hearts of my children. Let me remind you, actually, right now, it's been a while since I've mentioned the mission statement of Parents on a Mission, which is turning the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents as the best method for preventing children from joining negative lifestyles. So remember, POM is not about dealing with or fixing the behavior of our children. It's about us dealing with ourselves and fixing our behavior as parents first and foremost. This is what sets POM apart from other parent curriculums because Parents on a Mission is about leadership, and the best leadership always starts with the leader checking themselves first. All right, so let me go over what we're going to be learning in the next few episodes. First, I want to talk about the mirror, which means when parenting Reveals our growth gaps or areas that we need to grow in. So this— I'm going to talk about how parenting or step-parenting, that's what happens. It exposes our unhealed wounds or unmet needs and what we could call emotional blind spots. And in leadership, that's not a good thing, is to be blind to yourself. So, though we'll talk about that in parenting, and that again, before we fix the child, which is our tendency, we must face that their behavior is triggering something in us. And that's what we need to pay attention to. Why am I reacting the way I do when he or she does that or says that, or, you know, etc.? And that Attitude, that mindset is the starting point of our influence. So the mirror, when parenting reveals our growth gaps, that'll be the first episode. Secondly, when they don't respond, leading without losing heart. Now this will be about what to do when your child or stepchild seems emotionally shut down or resistant or unchanged, and you're doing your best, you know, you're following all the principles and it's just not happening. But that again, that's when we have to not lose heart and have a mindset of not giving in, because that's the difference between influence and control. Sometimes we slide over to controlling or wanting to control our kids. I know I've done that, but it's really more about influence. That's what we want. So in this episode of the second part of this series, I want to encourage You to be resilient in building your emotional maturity in your parent leadership. In the third part of this series, I want to talk about when co-parenting bio parents and mentors collide. Or in other words, you're dealing with, you know, your ex, and you're both wanting to have say which is right in raising your children. And the ex, you know, wants to be involved. Of course, I'm not talking about abusive exes or things like that. I'm talking about a good dad, a good mom. You didn't get along, you guys got divorced, whatever, but they still want to say, of course, but you know that you have a new spouse. And so, you know, that can just get really challenging, to say the least. So I want to talk about how to navigate complex adult dynamics. that ultimately influence the child's growth. That's what's important. And a reminder that during this time, we got to stay mission-focused. Even with the mission— what is the mission? Raising happy, healthy children who have character and vision and have a chance to reach their full potential. That's the mission, and we have to stay focused on that even when the adult dynamics are difficult or sometimes even Toxic, and again, as always, this is about our emotional maturity, making sure we have those clear boundaries and long-term thinking when we feel like we're caught between households or even value systems of the other, what they're hearing and learning in the other side of their family. And finally, I want to talk about raising. Visionaries, helping kids craft their own way. And what this is, as parents, I often talk about this as the coaching aspect of being a parent. When your kids get a little older, start getting into that 12 years old and on, building motivation in them for their personal mission to discovering their personal potential, their personal gifts and talents, and then helping them to develop those gifts and talents and helping them discover what is their purpose in life, what is their mission in life. Because the sooner they can get into that mission, into that purpose, into that vision, the better it is for them to not get distracted and tempted to get off track like so many kids do who are looking for a purpose. They're looking for their mission or a vision. And Mom and Dad, if it doesn't come from us— I'm not saying everything has to come from us in that vision, but at least we're guiding them, because if we're not going to guide them, somebody else will, and sometimes those things get our kids in trouble. So one of the things I teach in the Youth on a Mission curriculum is how to help youth develop a vision board. So in this episode, which will be the 4th part of this series, I will talk about that It's nothing difficult, but just how to go about, you know, encouraging your children to develop that vision. And part of it is a vision board where they can visualize something on a daily basis of where they want to go, what they're trying to achieve, who they want to become, and how they want to serve other people, things like that. So we'll talk about that in helping kids craft their own way and have A vision for their life, raising visionaries. So that's what I will be covering in the next few episodes on the Parent Whisperer podcast. Let me go over those again. First, I'm going to talk about the mirror, when parenting reveals our own growth gaps that we need to be aware of. Second part, when our children do not respond and that we can still continue to lead without losing heart. Third, when co-parenting gets difficult or maybe even toxic, again, your children are living with you and you have your own values and your own ways of going about raising them, but they also live with their other parent in that situation, and maybe there's some conflict there that can become toxic. And an important thing to remember in that collision that happens is we have to Think of the kids first, which I find a lot of parents don't do that. They're just thinking of themselves in that ugly divorce that happened, and that doesn't bode well for the kids. And then again, raising visionaries. So that's— those are the topics. Stay tuned for those. And listen, I really appreciate you listening to the Parent Whisperer podcast. Please leave a review, subscribe, and share these episodes with other friends or family members who you know that they might be struggling. Maybe they need some guidance, maybe they need some encouragement. I sure hope that you will share these episodes with them. So that's it for today, but remember, as always, Parents on a Mission is not For bad parents, it is for good parents who want to get better. See you next time.

So that's it for today's episode of the Parent Whisperer podcast. Head on over to Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts will win a chance in the grand prize drawing. To win a $10,000 private VIP day with Richard himself, be sure to head on over to parentwhispererpodcast.com and pick up a free copy of Richard's gift. And join us on the next episode.