Parents on a Mission with Richard R Ramos

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You repair back the stability here. Welcome in PBN family. I don't have a title for what it is we're doing, so we're gonna call this thing Parents on a Mission. We have a great guest called Richard R. Ramos. He. He's here to talk parenting. It's not a topic that we touch on very often here and there. You know, we. It's inevitable if you got a family, you're doing prepper stuff, stuff that the kids get involved, but sort of a, you know, like a focus sort of honed in, you know, topic set like that. Parents on a Mission is actually Richard Ramos's book. And he'll. He'll get into all that later in the show. But that's what I wanted to do tonight, guys. I wanted to talk about this crazy thing and. And I wanted to really lay out the whole intro to the show by talking about how crazy it has been to be a child and how crazy it has been to be a parent in the last five years. You know what I mean? So. So I. I think what I'd like to do. Richard, welcome to the show, man.

Hey, thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

No problem. No problem. I kind of changed my mind mid sentence. I said, you know what? I'm gonna. I gonna set up this sort of last five years of parental and. And childhood chaos. And then I realized next to me to sort of bounce ideas and experiences off of. Right. But that, like I mentioned before, the show was just sort of, you know, almost like setting the special north on the compass. Let parents parenting and childrening has, like, changed in some pretty big ways in the last five years. And, you know, things like Covid, things like the civil unrest, social upheaval, you know, the cultural sort of whatever it is, I don't know, the cultural battles that we've been facing as a nation. All these little. The weird thing is all these little wars and all these things have affected, you know, they've affected the way that our kids get to interact with other kids and the way that parents get to act. Interact with other parents. Right?

That's right. Yep.

I don't remember that happening growing up. Is that. Was that unique to this time? Because I don't remember it in the 90s.

Yeah, no, I think it definitely isn't. And, you know, it's about social media. You remember when, you know, when I was growing up, you know, I'm older than you, but even maybe when you grew up, you know, when I grew up, we had one Phone and three channels. And the TV would go off at midnight. You know, they'd play the Star Spangled Banner. TV's off. And when you came home, you didn't have access to your friends. You know, maybe they could call you on the phone. But, you know, as kids, you know, parents be on the phone all the time, you know. Yeah. As you got to be a little older, maybe you did. But there was only one phone. And if you called somebody and they were on the phone, you'd get a.

Oh, God, I forgot all about.

So what I'm saying is, you know, through social media now, it's 24. 7 global access.

Yeah.

So everybody's looking down at their phone. Unfortunately. It can be in a restaurant, it could be at the dinner table. It could be walking through the store. You. You notice kids, even adults. So, yes, it's definitely changed our culture. And as you said over the last four years, with the COVID pandemic and other things that have been happening culturally, as you mentioned, we weren't facing all these things. And it definitely is having an influence on the relationship. Kids with kids, kids with parents. Parents with parents.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. It's a. It's like totally divisive in a way that I can't think. Think of. I can't think of an example growing up where there was a thing like masking or not masking vaccine or not vaccine, where it, you know, it l. It would literally break apart or whoever. Who you voted for. I didn't know anybody's political leanings when I was a kid. I didn't even know when I was an adult, to be honest with you, Richard, When I voted for the first time. I don't. I didn't know. I didn't look at the people in my neighborhood lined up at the voting poll and go, I know that was a Democrat. I'm sure of it. You know what I mean? I had no clue.

Right.

And everything now. And I guess it does go back to that sort of social media. I gotta post something. So I'm gonna post this information about myself. But I guess what really surprised me about it all is, you know, how much it has affected the average kid's childhood because parents make these weird decisions about who they want their kids to hang stuff, you know.

Well, it's been a cultural revolution, and it started a long time ago, you know, and when I was growing up, this whole cultural revolution kind of turn around America and what America stands for. That's been going on for this for a long time. Since Maybe the Vietnam War and things like that. But then, then it, when it really began to influence these relationships that you're talking about is when it got into the universities and schools. And we are witnessing now the influence of, of that ideological cultural shift where, you know, where, when, as you mentioned, what was more important than our family relationship? You know, there wasn't no such thing as, oh, you voted for that guy. Oh, then I don't want to talk to you, or oh, you didn't get vaccinated, oh, well then we can't be friends anymore or exactly, you don't wear a mask. Oh, well, then I don't want to come over your home, your house because your parents don't make you wear. We, we didn't face any of those things, none of it. But now they're on the forefront, you know, on, on again, the ideological media pushing that all the time, you know, in our face about it. And a lot of parents buy into it, unfortunately.

Yeah. I also am always surprised at how much even some of the youngest kids know about, about politics and about social and cultural things, you know, so like in other words, it's, it's one thing for a parent to parent relationship to break up and say, you know, you did this thing that I don't agree with, so you're. The kids are not going to hang out with my kids and they make that silly decision which is, you know, that always seems weird to me from the get go. But what also is weird is hearing third through sixth grade people talking about political issues, social issues, you know, pandemic response issues in their conversations with each other. Like I go on my kids field trips a lot. It's just like one of the things that I like to do. And you'll hear that kind of weird chatter in the bus ride and stuff like that. People talk, kids, little kids, my kid's third grade talking about political stuff, you know, and I'm just like, I don't even know if I knew who the president was when I was third grade. Like, I don't think. I just. You couldn't care less. It was like, where's my bike? When do I get done school? And is my buddy Mikey available?

You know, and summer vacation start.

That's right. Yeah, that's right.

But yeah, this is one of the reasons why I do what I do. James. This. I believe we have to sound the alarm. And that's what I've been trying to do to say, mom and dad, you got to wake up. Our authority is being undermined. What I Call it. There's a battle for loyalty. There's a daily competition for the heart and the mind and the loyalty of your children. And what I'm telling parents is that if you take the loyalty of your children for granted, that's a huge mistake. These social media influencers are very smart, and they're making inroads into the heart, mind, and worldview of our kids. Schools, elementary schools, junior high, high school teachers. And one of the thing. One of the. I think there was a couple of benefits about COVID One was some parents got to spend more time with their kids than they normally did because they were so busy with work or coming and going, maybe commuting, whatever. And another thing was they started hearing what teachers were teaching their children.

Oh, I forgot. That was huge. Yeah, that was huge.

That was huge. So that was kind of one of the. Because parents said, what? What are you talking about? And they kind of woke up, and then it caused a lot of.

Yeah, yeah.

Pretty heated school board meetings.

This is what I mean, Rich. Like, do you mind if I call you Rich?

Nope.

Okay. My. My uncle is rich, so it's like getting used to my grandfather, too. But this is what I mean. It's like to lay out kind of what's happened in the last five years and on the high notes is one thing, but so much crazy stuff has happened that has affected the. Like the. In the. In the four walls is what I always call it. Like your family, like, the people that live within your home and their relationships. So much stuff has happened that you can't even. You can't even keep up. You know, it's, like, impossible to keep up with it. Like that. That instance right there, I remember, like, as clear as day because I would do my work writing at the kitchen table, and my son, who was in heat, my oldest son, was in third or fourth grade at that time, did school on his laptop. So I'd be over there working. He'd be right there working. And I'd hear the teacher explaining, you know, any number of different things from math to, you know, history. And I do remember, like, going, whoa, what. What did he say? You know, that kind of stuff that. That reared its ugly head. But, yeah, there's just been. It's. It's been a tidal wave of overwhelm. And I think what you're doing is such a great call because it's. It's kind of taking all that stuff and, like, clearing it, you know, and saying, get back to you and the kids, because that's what we have to build. The bond has to be built there. Right?

I believe that, you know, and I. I believe we're. What I'm trying to do is restore the importance of the role of mom and dad. And it's not about everybody else. And sometimes in the classes, I'll say, you know, who is the most important person in the community? And most times, you know, well, the. I guess the president, the politicians, the pastor, the priest, the principal, the school, the counselor. And I'm. No. The police. No, all of those people are important and they're all have a purpose. But you, mom and dad are the most important people in the community. You need to understand that the community is not building your family. Your family. And the way you're raising your children is building the community and just restoring that. Understanding your role as a dad, as a mom is so vital. And I think about this. If you think about communities and safe communities and thriving communities, well, it's because of the citizens. And I always ask this question, where do the citizens of the community come from? And if you think about it, citizens go to church, they don't come from church, they go to work. They don't come from work, they go to school, they don't come from work, from school. Well, then where do they come from? They come from our home. That's who we're raising. These are our children. Yes, but they are also citizens of the community. And here's the question, mom and dad, what kind of citizen are we sending into the neighborhood, to the schoolyard and ultimately as employees in the community? And that's who we're raising. And that focus, I believe, has been undermined from so many different things. And my call is, mom and dad, let's get back to who you are and the importance of you building the character and your relationship with your kids.

That's powerful, man, because that's what. That's 100% it. And it's. It's tough because you look out into the world. Well, you see, because of. So it's back to social media, right? Because of social media, we have such an eye into the world like never before.

That's right.

And I'm particularly drawn to the heinous things that happen in the world. So it's easy for me to get wrapped up in, like, exactly what you're saying, except looking at adults, you know what I mean? Seeing adults do things you can't believe. Violence, you know, and. And that's exactly what comes to mind is like someone took a baby and raised it to a certain Point and sent it out into the world and now it's stabbing somebody to death on X. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And, and it's like you're, you see the, the results of that and then when you're raising your own kids, you're like, well, I definitely gotta make sure I don't put one of those out there like that. That's got to be on the list, right? Make sure we don't put something out in the world that's going to do that. Because. Yeah.

And you know, parenting is tough. I mean, it's not nobody. Sure. Yeah, I'm not perfect. There's no perfect parents. But our growth as individuals, our growth in emotional maturity, in the curriculum that I wrote and in my book, I explain how important it is as a parent to grow. Getting old, James. Getting old is automatic, brother. I didn't lose my hair, I didn't try to get gray. I didn't work real hard out have a gray beard and gray hair.

Sure, I know I'm getting there automatic.

We get old, but we don't grow up automatic. And, and a lot of people, yeah, you know, well, if I'm 30 now, I'm mature. Oh, not so. Oh, I'm 35 and the older I get, the smarter and wiser I get. No, not if you don't put in the effort. Not if you are not intentional about it. So we, in my study, my curriculum and things that I teach, I'm saying, okay, mom and dad, we have to. This is a lifelong journey. Our emotional growth, our emotional intelligence, whatever you want to call it, I like to call it, our personal maturity level has to constantly be growing because here's the problem. And I've experienced this, you know, I've been doing this a long time. But when I see a 35 year old dad who still has a 15 year old mentality because they haven't grown up, they've grown older, but they haven't grown up and now they have kids. And so now their kids get 12, 13, 14, and they start, you know, doing what a lot of kids do, sometimes they go off the rails. Yeah, yeah. So now you have a 15 year old mentality of a parent dealing with a 14 year old daughter. And that just causes a lot of conflict, immature ways of dealing with things and it causes a lot of resentment and different things like that. So again, my, my emphasis on, to encourage parents, we got to grow ourselves and constantly be growing so that when our kids maybe make mistakes like we all do, we're dealing with them. From a mature response rather than an immature reaction.

Yeah, that's, that's a good one, man. That's a good one. Because you have, and you know, when you talk about being, being a 35 year old who has a 15 year old mentality, one of the things that I notice is that's that it's not across the board. No, like, like you can have a 35 year old mentality on saving money, investing money, but you know, different aspects of your life. And then there can be aspects of your life where you didn't put in the work and you didn't grow. And, and I mean I see that, I see that in my own life sometimes. My son's 13 and, and there are things where we butt heads and it's, you know, it's part of that, it's part of him, him being in realms I never was in growing up and you know, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, that's. It is gall. It is all work though. It is all growth and work. I mean, that's. So what other things do you cover in Parents on a Mission?

Well, we have six. There's six basic principles that we teach. The first one is the personal growth of the parent and we walk them through. Okay, if somebody, okay, Richard, you convinced me, you know, I, I know I need to grow. How do I do that? And so, you know, there's so much self help books and there's so much literature. I just break it down in four very simple steps. And that's like that, that's a whole lesson in itself. And then we talk about the proper use of authority because I believe the authority of parents has been undermined. It's been taken away. You know, you probably know that, you know, your son went to school nurse and said, I need an aspirin. They'd say to him, well, you got to get permission from your.

Oh yeah.

But if they say I want to change my, my, my sex, they'll keep that a secret from you.

You don't have that.

Get your premiere. Oh, I didn't want to have an abortion. No problem. We'll take you to go do.

Yeah. Really?

What kind of undermining of authority is that? And that's happening. You know, I could talk all day about that, but. So we talk about the authority of the parent and the proper use of authority and how to earn respect, not demand, but earn respect from your children, of your authority. Then we talk about discipline, the proper use of discipline. The difference between punishment and discipline, because those are two different things. So we Have a whole lesson on that. We know, you know, discipline can be controversial, and that's why I talk about it, because too many children are being abused in the name of discipline. Mom and dad. That's not discipline. That's abuse. Then we talk about community building, which I already mentioned, how important your role is in raising citizens of the community and how that looks at home. Then we talk about reconciliation. Principle number five, because all families have problems, my family has problems. You know, we still get into it once in a while. That's not the issue. The issue is when you have problems, how do you handle it? How do you reconcile? How do you initiate a conversation of apologizing and admitting mistakes that we've made and things like that? So that's a whole nother lesson, and the last one is on loyalty. How do you win the loyalty of your child support so that it's a lifelong thing? As I shared with you a little bit earlier. You know, it's wonderful now that all my kids are grown and out of the house, but they still love spending time with me and my wife. They still want to hang out, go on vacation together. Loyal, in other words.

Yeah.

And so those are the six principles that we teach in Parents on a Mission. And we've had wonderful results.

What is that? When you. Because that's a. That's a. Loyalty is a great one. But what do you. If you want to dig deeper into that, like when you think about childhood loyalty, maybe throughout the years, like, give me some examples.

Well, it has to do with, you know, when you're building that attachment with your son or your daughter, you're, you know, and when they're smaller, it comes to a place where, you know, they don't want to disappoint you. And when they get out in the world, in, in school or whatever you want to call it, they're presented with choices, they're presented with temptation. And what we're doing is that we're building their character. We're giving them our family values. This is what we believe. This is where we are at. Of course, you're going to start having your own opinions when you get a little bit older. But all through their life, you're building their character, integrity, their work ethic, their values. Because when they get out there, we can't control them. They're. They're out there, you know, they're. We send them to school every day. We send. They're. They're out. Out there in the neighborhood, out there, wherever. To school, wherever. So the temptations come the gangs, the drugs, the sex, the pornography, the. So many options today. Yes, it comes down to my choices of loyalty. Am I going to be more loyal to my family values, which I know this is wrong. I know my dad's already warned me about that. I know my mom doesn't. And it's about loyalty where they're choosing, making choices that are. Make a course for themselves to respect themselves and have their self esteem. But also, no, you know what my family, my dad's taught me what our family's about, our family legacy, we, who we are, what the Ramos family is about. And so ch. The choice that they make is to that. Now that's not to say that, you know, my kids make choices that I wish they would have made, right? So kids, there's a difference because we all fail. We all make choices we regret. But they're not choices of lifestyle. Their choices of maybe temptation in the moment. And you went down that road and oh my God. And you, you know, you correct it, you learn from it. You know, you. You get back on track, whether it's discipline of the kid or talking to whatever. But when you choose a lifestyle, that's a whole different ball game. And that's what we're trying to help our kids avoid by teaching them about the loyalty to our family values and our ethics and our character versus what everybody else is offering you out there.

I like that. I like that's not something that ever really. That word. In using the word loyalty when raising children, I don't think that words ever popped into my head one time. You know what I mean? And you know, I'm one of those people that I don't know. You don't seem to strike me as a guy like that, but maybe you were at one time. I'm perpetually proving myself to me and everybody and you know, that's kind of like one of my weird things. You know what I mean? I never feel like you, you need to be loyal to me because of X, Y and Z. You know what I mean? I'm like the perpetual resume builder. Like I gotta do this other thing and then once I do that thing, then I'll be good enough to do that. You know how it goes. You've written books and you've done things. So I'm sure that you have that mind in the back of your head that's like, you gotta do one more thing or you got to get that one thing done. So to add loyalty into the mix, that. That is kind of a game changer. I like that.

Yeah. I mean, of course we are. I've. I've battled those same things that you're talking about, you know, but it's feeling good about who I am not and why I do what I do, not what I do. You know, what I do is one thing. Why I do it and who I am is a different. Is different than that.

Sure.

So I know that, you know, one of the things I talk about in winning loyalty is being a hero to your children. You know, and what does that mean? So I just break that down into three simple things. To be the hero of my son and my daughter. Number one is my priorities. The choices that I make, show them, hey, you're important to me. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna show up. I'm gonna go out of my way. Sometimes I can't be there. But when I can be there, I will be there. You are the priority of my life. What hurts kids is when they know their parents could be there and they choose not to.

Yeah.

Secondly is just simple honesty. You don't have to be perfect, just honest. What that means is when I blow it, I look my kids in the eye and I just say, hey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk to you that way. Please forgive me. I love you. And just having integrity. My kids have told me, you know, dad, you're my hero. Or I've seen them write that in a paper. But here's the thing, James. I know me and they know me, and I have failed my kids in different ways. And yet, how could I be their hero? Well, it's because they're not looking for perfection. They're just looking for honesty and owning up when we blow it. The third thing about being a hero is showing up in the time of crisis.

Yeah.

You know, you show up. I don't always know what to say. I wasn't always approving of what had happened, and I didn't have the words, but I showed up in their time of crisis. And those kinds of things cause your children to be loyal to you as their hero, and they can have other heroes. You know, I had heroes. I had baseball heroes and football, movie star, you know, But I. I always tell parents, that's fine, but you need to be the hero of your son and daughter, too.

Yeah. Those things that you're talking about in the hero, are they. As you went through them? They hit me as things that parents don't typically talk to parents about. You know what I mean? Like that. That's back to that sort of Social media, everything has to be perfect or silenced mentality. And what you're talking about in this, specifically in those first two were definitely those things that I, you rarely hear parents talk about, you know, and, and when it comes to being at events and, you know, being at things, I always feel like the, the modern working parent. Like I heard someone else say this, so I'm not going to pretend like I thought it up, but it seems like it's a no win situation, you know what I mean? It seems like if I'm at the event because I left work early, then I left things at the. Undone at work, you know what I mean? So I'm letting work down, but if I, I stay at work and get everything done, then I'm letting the family, the kids, whatever it is, down. And it's that weird, you know, just that weird situation we're in because everybody works in the house. You know what I mean? In most, most cases.

No, that's true. Yeah. Most families, you know, both parents have jobs. But I think here's the thing. And especially tough for single parents.

Oh yeah, man. Single parents.

But we encourage them in this, you know, not everybody has the freedom and the luxury of being able to get off work and leave work.

Right.

Want to do a good job. Obviously you don't want to, you know, slack like you said, off of work. We've got to do a good job. And our kids understand that.

I'm.

But I'm talking about when they know. They say, hey, my dad's working, he's out of town. You know, I know he can't be there. But they also know when, hey, it's Saturday and you're home and you could have been there, but you chose not to.

You chose not to. Yeah.

They don't say maybe they don't say anything. So that's what I'm talking about. There's, you know, a healthy balance because we can't be everywhere all the time. We can't always show up, you know, when they would like us to. That's just.

Yeah.

The reality of, you know, working and, you know, paying the bills. Well, what I'm just talking about is when, when you can, you do. And that's what they appreciate.

Oh yeah, it's. I don't even, you know, it's hard to measure it. And I'm sure it's different with every kid, but we. My oldest son had a basketball game tonight and you know, in all honesty, he's a football player. Basketball is like, you know, not really his favorite sport. But he jumped in on. On his team this year, came in late in the season. But, you know, he's 13, and we've been going to things forever. You know, it's. It's nothing new for that.

I know that life.

Yeah, it's nothing new for him. Right. But like, he. He scored a layup, got in, and then he got fouled after that and hit the two foul shots to put them over, you know, for what became the win. And, you know, he's 13. He's got the hair. You know, the hair that. The 13 and 15, and the poof up top there, the hairdo that everybody's got.

But.

But when he. When he does those things out there, Rich, he still. Still looks up, you know what I mean? He looks right up at the stand still. You know, he did it when he was six years old, and he still does. He looks up and go, like, mom and dad. You saw that, right?

Yeah.

And it's just, you know, I don't know what the value of something like that is. And it's not like you have to be at everything, but, like, if you're there for those kind of moments, I don't know. I imagine they remember him forever, I imagine, you know.

Oh, yeah, it's. It's huge, man. It's. And those are the kind of things I try to help parents. Don't undervalue it. Don't underestimate even e. Or even if you didn't go, when the next time you see him, you ask him and you have a conversation, Tell me all about. Tell me how the game went. Let me know. And. And just your interest. You're taking interest. You're taking time out of your whatever. You know, you might be tired, or maybe you just got home from a trip, or maybe you worked late, but if you had an opportunity, your son's like, wow, my dad, first thing he did when he came home, whether, you know, greeting my mom, he came up to my room and said, hey, man, how to go today? You know, those kind of things. Parents, you should not undervalue that because your children really makes such an impression on them of their worth that they count, that they matter and. And that they are priority.

Yeah. And they know, too. They can smell out when you're giving them, like, half your attention. You know, I'm sure you've been in that position. Like, one of my youngest. What my youngest always knows is when I'm fake laughing, like, if I'm over here working, doing my thing during the day, and he's off school or something with me and he's telling me something from the couch or from the living room and I give him like a haha. And he's like, fake laugh. He'll like, call me out on it. Like, he's like, you're not paying attention. Just trying to shut me up.

Fake news, dad.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, you mentioned, you mentioned like, going into their world and that's. That's such an important thing. And I can tell you it's a willpower thing sometimes. Sometimes you gotta just like, I'm not really into what this kid's doing right now. There's nothing. Not that it's a bad thing, but I'm just not into it right now. But you know what? Sit the hell down and listen to them and, and look at them and see that they've got a fire in them about whatever it is. And it doesn't necessarily have to be your favorite thing in the world, you know, But I think I. My kids, anyway, they've always valued that, you know, like, let me sit down and you tell me about this thing. I don't know what it is. I might not get into it because we get into a lot of the same things, but. And I'm just. Because I have two boys. I guess I'm lucky that way. But. Yeah, just giving them that time, you know what I mean? That's always been valuable. Just tell me what you're into and what you're doing, you know, and, and.

So to get back to your question, that those are the things that build loyalty. That's what loyalty is about. That's what it looks like, is that we are showing, hey, I'm loyal to you, you know, your grades, your friends, your support, activities, whatever you're into. You know, like you said, maybe I'm not into it, but because you're into it, I'm going to be there for you, I'm going to support you, I'm going to back you. And part of. Part of the coaching role of parents, and you're in that role with your. Both your kids now where you're. I always tell parents, you know, once they get off into school and they're over there most of the day, we're like coaches on the sideline watching our children play in the game of life. And so I'm in that role of. So, hey, how'd it go? Or. Oh, yeah, well, let's talk about that. Or, you know, maybe they ask you for advice, you know, or whatever it might be, and we're. We're coaching them along. And it's a great role to, to be in, especially now, like I said with my kids, who are all adults, they still ask me for advice, they'll still come to me and, and want to know what I think. And it could be politics, it could be faith issues, it could be friends, it could be marri know, whatever. And I, you know, I really value that, that they still value, you know, my opinion. And we don't always, we don't always agree. They don't always agree with my feedback. But that's okay. That's the culture I want in that. I want to hear your voice. Here's my voice. And even if we don't agree, we can disagree in an agreeable manner rather than what we see going on today, which is families breaking apart, you know, not talking to each other anymore because you voted this way or you didn't get vaccinated. And all those things that have broken families apart, which, that to me is very sad.

No, it is very sad. So what if. Do you have specific areas where you see sort of failures at the parenting level? You know, like, like areas that stick out to you and that you see in modern day, kind of consistently over time where parents are just kind of, you know, if you tweak that or if, you know, get off the phone, pay attention, you know, Are there areas like that that stick out in your head nowadays?

Well, I think I, I go back to, I think it really. The main thing is, is working on ourselves, you know, always working on ourselves to get better, to grow our mind, grow our heart, grow our spirit, grow other. In other words, our emotional maturity. That's. I see a lot of parents, they just flatline, you know, they, they're, you're growing, growing, growing, but then somewhere, I don't know whether it's 25 or 30, whatever, they just stop growing. And that again, if you don't have that emotional maturity when, when the pressure comes, whether it could be your daughter got pregnant, you know, they got married, I'll surprised you, lost money, lost their job, gotten a car wreck, wrecked your car. You know, these are the pressures of life and it's how we handle those things. And again, I haven't always handled it perfectly, but, but I've grown and gotten better and better and better and that, that. So that to me is very important. The other thing is, you know, we need to be a better example of so on social media, you know, again, I see a lot of parents complaining about their children's screen time, but they're just following the example of their mom and dad, who are always also looking down at the phone. Like you said, you know, your child's trying to talk to you, and yet you, you know, you're scrolling through and you're really not listening. Today, in your case, you weren't doing that, but it's the same thing.

Oh, we're all guilty of it, definitely.

But we're really not, you know, so that's another area. Then the other. The other thing I got to say too, is, is how we're disciplining our children. You know, the balance between, you know, some parents are too permissive, where you just let kids do whatever they want, say whatever they want, just do whatever you want. That's permissive parenting. Then the authoritarian parent, where they're so strict, dictator, be quiet. I don't want to hear your opinion. Just do what I say. And that's it. You know, that's kind of the way I was raised and being able to find that middle ground. It's called authoritative parenting. Authoritarian parenting is very dictator. Permissive parenting is, you know, let them do whatever they want. But authoritative parenting, you building that happy medium where you have a culture of, okay, you have a voice, tell me what's going on. Giving them nurture, giving them affection, but also giving them discipline and enforcing the family house rules, whatever those might be, you know, do your chores, don't talk back to me, don't talk to your sister that way, those kinds of things. And finding that middle ground, that's a big area where I see. I try to coach parents, like, let's just be honest about maybe we're a little too authoritarian or maybe we're a little too permissive. So let's work on finding that middle ground.

Yeah, for the permissive parents out there, we have to parent your kids. I hate the permissively kids.

That's right.

They wind up at your house or in your car, and you're like, what did. What are you saying back there? You're not allowed to say that kind of stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

They're the toughest to be around, man. And a lot of times, I mean, I've. I've experienced more than one of those kids. And a lot of times they've really got, like, great potential too, you know, and you just get to the point where you're like, I don't know if I want him to come over today. Man, he's such a handful.

Like, yeah, you know, it's very true.

Yeah, that's a rough one. How do you Help people get over the hunt or, or so the clients come to you or is there like, I don't know, I don't want to call it leads, but the thing that you're doing that is interesting to me is in order for me to get to, to Richard, I've got to say to myself, I'm kind of messing up, you know, I mean like I need to improve and I feel like this day and age, that's such a tough hill for people to get up. Like nobody wants to admit, you know what I mean? I need to be better. I'm not doing this right or I'm screwing up, you know? And I, I, I. How do you find those people? Do they find you both?

I mean, that's one way of looking at it. Here's how I put it, James. I say it this way. Parents on a mission is not for bad parents. Parents on it, that's a myth, that parenting classes are for bad parents. That's not what I believe. I believe parents on a mission is for good parents who want to get better. It's just like any profession, professional lawyers, doctors, pastors, teachers, they go to conferences, they bought online courses, they buy books. Why? Because they're bad? No, they're good professionals. But they want to get better and keep improving and stay relevant with the latest thing. Imagine going to a mechanic today when now all of our cars are computerized. And remember when we were kids, you could work on cars and take them apart part and learn how to, you know, do different things. But nowadays, forget about it, right? Mechanic, they got to stay up to date with what's going on and it's the same thing. Why should our kids expect anything less from us when we're dealing with social issues? So our working on ourself is through the parenting classes which we call parents on a mission. So that's the message I put out. Now what I do, I train. I have a certification three day training course where I certify parent mentors and then they take my curriculum. It's a whole curriculum. The book is there for people to read it if they can't find a class. Because obviously we don't have a class in every city, every state, you know, in the country. So somebody could buy the book and read it on their own. But I have trained people all over the country and in other countries. So what they do, once they've certified them, then they take the curriculum and then they already have relationship with parents. So usually I'm training staff members of jails, prisons, churches, non Profits and school.

That's quite the quite. Yeah, that's a group right there.

They have parent relationships of trust.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

I have a support group that meets every week, once a week for a couple hours and then they go through the curriculum. And that could be eight weeks, it could be six weeks, it could be 10 weeks. I leave that up to the, the parent mentor that I've trained. That's up to them and up to their parent group. So the other thing, people can go to my website, Richard R. Ramos dot com. Don't forget my middle initial, Richard RRamos dot com and they could get the book there. They can get a free chapter if they want to check it out. There's some videos there as well. And so it's both people refer people, word of mouth podcasts like this gets the word out. So I really appreciate you having me on tonight.

Oh yeah, man. And look, guys, it's linked right down there in the show description. Whether you're on YouTube, whether you're on Rumble. Once the podcast goes to audio, which will probably be tomorrow morning, it'll be down in the show description. So if you want to check out the book parents on a Mission or all the other things that you got going on, the, the mentorship idea is brilliant, man. You know, I can't be everywhere, but I can get some people who can be everywhere. I like that.

That's why I started doing it, because I said, man, I'm just one dude and if I could just get more people to share this information with parents in a very casual way, a very non condemning way, non blaming way. I always tell parents, we are not blaming you, mom and dad for everything, but we are naming you the number one asset in the community. That's who you are. And then we just want to build it from there.

Yeah, I love it, man. I really appreciate you coming on and doing this sort of. I mean, it's a topic for all, but it's a topic here at PBN that we don't really delve into very often. And like I said, you're, you're kind of kicking off this new wave of interviews for us, so I appreciate it. The only, the only thing I wish I checked earlier is where my eyes fall because I'm like, my camera's too high. I feel like I'm looking down at the keyboard the whole time, but I'm just looking at you and my computer screen I'll have to fix.

Yeah, well, I'm just looking in the camera too, man. But listen, I, I, I really appreciate, you know, you having me on. And I'll say this also, I'm writing another book right now for blended families because that's a huge topic, I'm sure.

Yeah.

Step kids. Like I told you, I'm a stepdad. I've been a stepdad for many years.

Yeah.

Writing a book called the Art of Step Parenting. How to Blend Families.

Oh, man.

Without tearing them apart. And when I get that done, hope I could reach out to you.

Oh, please. Next, please. I mean, we have hosts here on PBN who are in blended families. I'm sure they would love to take a look at it also, because that's. Yeah, that's a whole nother can of worms. Much respect. Much respect to you, man, because, yeah, that's a whole nother thing at that. And look, at the end of the day, their parents, right? You're. You're the parents of those kids. Society looks at you that way. They have the same expectations of you. Yeah, that's, That's a great topic, man. I'm sure you're having a blast putting that together. Yeah, it's been work, but writing is always work, right?

Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Well, all right, my man. I appreciate it. Thanks so much for coming on. And definitely, you know, reach out to us. Let us know when, when the next book's ready to go, because everybody's a parent, you know, that listens to our. Now, I don't think we have too many people who aren't that I could think of off the top. Some. A handful of pretty important people here or not. But the vast majority, you know what I mean? We're all in this battle to pump something out we can be proud of.

That's right. Thanks a lot. Thanks.

Thank you, sir. I'll talk to you soon.

See you. All right.

PBN family. I hope you enjoyed it. This is, this is a thing that we're gonna do going forward. There's just a tremendous amount of awesome people out there in the world. And why not, right? I hope you enjoyed Rich. Check out his website. And like I said, I think the analogy of the night is what he does is not for bad parents. It's for parents who want to get better. Right? You take T triple C classes not because you don't know how to put a tourniquet on. You just want to get faster at it, get better at you take firearms training classes, you know, wilderness survival, bushcraft stuff. Not because you don't know what you're doing, but because you want to get better at it. Right. I'll see you guys tomorrow morning for PBN Daily News. Thanks so much, and, you know, we appreciate you. No ads tonight. Just enjoy the show. We got plenty in the morning. Links down in the description, though. All right, thanks so much, guys. See you tomorrow, okay?