Youth on a Mission: Helping At Risk Youth Find Purpose and Leadership

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Parent Whisperer podcast. I'm Richard Ramos, your host, and today I want to do something a little bit different and talk about youth on a mission. Now, most of the time I'm talking about parents on a mission and parenting and parent issues and different things like that. The last episode you saw, I was talking about the community so that you get an understanding of the larger picture that we're ultimately wanting to make impact. It's not just about you and your kids in your home. It is about ultimately creating the safe and the safe and let me silence this phone, safe and healthy communities that we all want. So I want to talk about Youth on a Mission, and Youth on a Mission comes out of this book that I wrote years ago. I think I published this in 2011. But the reason I wrote this book, The Margins to— From the Margins to the Mainstream: Preparing Latino Youth for Leadership in the 21st Century, was because I've always been concerned about and been involved in community, and primarily, not exclusively, Trying to exclude any ethnic group, but being Mexican, I and Latino or whatever name we call ourselves these days—that is my upbringing. That is most of the people that I've worked with and seen, and the families and youth and people are Latino. So I at the time was just growing in my own leadership experience and. The more I got around other leaders in higher levels of government and things like that, I noticed that I was one, only one of a few Mexicans at the table. Most everybody else was either black or white, or mostly white. And so nothing wrong with that, except that we want to be representative of everybody in our communities. We all know the growing population of the Hispanic community is the the. And the Mexican American Mexicans are the largest, just last time I checked, of minority groups in in in the country. I know other groups are growing, but we've been coming across the border for decades, and so obviously it's grown to a point where we are, I think, I don't know, 15% of the population or something like that. And in California. Here, and in the southwestern part of the United States, we are becoming the majority. I think in California, I think we might be the majority at this point. But anyway, so that that's why I wrote the book because I said, "Man, we need more leaders. We need more kids to think about leadership and not just exist, and then just have this kind of a mentality, a second-class mentality, and I don't belong, or that's not for me, or I don't want to get involved in that." That's I'm selling out if I give in to the American way, and all this kind of thinking that probably might have been a little more prevalent when I was younger and growing up in the Chicano movement like I did in the late '60s and early '70s, that that was the mentality. We don't want to sell out. We're going to be who we are, stay to ourselves, do our own thing. But you got to ask yourself, how's that working out? Versus what I meant from the— so We often get marginalized. Now, some of the marginalization that we've experienced is due to racism. It's due to discrimination. Let's not play around, okay? Let's just be straight. I'm a straight shooter, and let's not try to sugarcoat it. That's what it is. That's what it's been. Still exists today, unfortunately. Maybe it probably not like it used to. It's things are getting better. We see more Black and Asian and Hispanic Latino leaders, but in all the different industries, which is great. But how does marginalized— how do certain communities or ethnic groups in a country get marginalized? By policy, on purpose. That's the way it is. But we want to do something about it. So that's what I meant by from the margins to the mainstream, so that we can have a voice. We can have a representative voice in the mainstream of life, community, politics, business, religion, etc., etc., because those are the main institutions— education— that build the community. And so that, that was my goal in writing this book. And it comes because of the experience of me working with young people who were not doing well and seeing their life change, helping them to see themselves in a better light so that their life can change. So there's three testimonies on the back of this book, and I'm going to go ahead and read them to you so you can get an understanding. And so. Because what I want to talk about ultimately is on is youth on a mission, and what that's about, why I do it. And I want to share with you in here what do I teach or what's taught in youth on a mission? Because this is the same thing as parents on a mission. I certify I have a two-day training, and I certify other. Leaders who are mentoring youth from the ages of somewhere from high school all the way up to young adults, and they take them through my curriculum, all for the purpose of moving from the margins to the mainstream and having influence and seeing themselves as a leader And so we define what does it mean to be a leader. So I'll get to that. But here's just the impact that I've been fortunate to have and the impact that I want you to have. If you want to be a Youth on a Mission mentor, a Youth on a Mission leader, if you want to help me change the lives of other young people, misdirected people, they don't have to be Latino. It doesn't matter. What— it doesn't matter what ethnicity you are and what ethnicity you might be working with. You might be a white person and you're surrounded by all Black people or Mexican people or some Asian people. You might be Asian and you're surrounded by brown people. It doesn't matter. None of that matters. I could get into— I don't want to get into it. It just doesn't matter if you care and you're genuine. That's what matters. Okay. So here's one testimony. At the age of 11, I got involved with the juvenile criminal justice system. Richard Ramos was one of the few people in my life that was supportive and unconditional. He would come to my house anytime my mother was having difficulty with me. He would hunt me down on the streets and get me to school or back home. With the support of Mr. Ramos, I was able to transition from offender to a young woman ready to take on the world. I received my bachelor's degree in criminal justice from Long Beach State University and master's in social work from the University of California, San Diego. Thank you. University of Southern California. I now work as a therapist/social worker with Orange County's most vulnerable youth and families, from the margins to the mainstream. I am truly grateful for all your work, Mr. Ramos, on a personal and professional level. I know your words will touch the lives of youngsters just like They once touched me. That's from a young woman named Gabby. I know her as Gabby. Here's another one. I met Richard Ramos at a crucial time in my teenage years. Meeting him opened my eyes to what a strong Latino man really looked like. His leadership during that time and to this day has changed my life as well as the lives of countless others. I now work with at-risk youth. And have my own business in Ventura, California. And that is from a young ex-gang member named Philip. And last, I was a misdirected youth involved in a gang and going in the wrong direction until I met Richard Ramos. Because of his care, concern, and counseling, my life was transformed. I am now married, raising my children, and have a great job. Thank you, Mr. Ramos, for all you did for me and so many other Latino youth. And that is from a young man named Ruben. You can get this book on Amazon, or you can go to my website, richardrramos.com, and find it there. And it would be a great gift if you have a young person in your life. I would say anywhere from the ages at least 15, even a little older, but if they can read and they're motivated, this book can really help change their life. I've had lots of testimonies about that. One young girl told me she read it 2 times, and that's a resource for you. Thank you. That is the foundation of what I now call Youth on a Mission, which I wrote and developed several years ago now. And I've been developing, just like I do in Parents on a Mission, I develop youth mentors, and then they take this curriculum here. A lot of it's based on the book, what's in the book, and they develop young people who are getting out of juvenile hall, involved in drugs, gangs, not doing well, and helping them get a vision for their life. So there's 7. Key principles or core principles that we teach in this curriculum, all for the purpose of changing the mindset, changing the vision, changing the self-worth, self-esteem of that young people have of themselves, and getting into their lane, getting into their God-given potential, to finding their true voice and their true purpose. That is what That's the bottom line. That's what it's all about. Because I found in my career, over all the many years I've been doing this— through almost 40 years of doing this— that so many people are living out a script that they were given by a parent, a teacher, A relative, a cop, somebody said, you're this or you're not this, you'll never be this, you're no good. And it's like they gave them a script that they've been living. And I'm saying that is not who you are. I don't know who gave you that script, but it's not the one for you. It's not why you were put on this earth. Do you think you were put here to be a gangbanger? Do you think that you were put here to sell drugs? Do you think that you were put here to drop out of school and live on the street? You think you're here to be a prostitute and give yourself away, your body away to other people? Do you really think that's why you're here? To be abused, misused by your, your family, friends, whoever? To be rejected? To be depressed? That's why you're here. That you, you feel like you're nobody, you're nothing, you have nothing to contribute. You're living small in your mind. You have no ambition, you have no goals, no vision. See, that is a wrong script that I find so many people, young people, They're getting their orders, their direction from social media. Just think of a director on a movie set directing the actors who are acting out a script. It's not really who they are. It's a script. They're acting, but they're being directed by somebody. Stop. Wait. No. Get— let's do it again. That's not the right line. Let's go over it again. That's the same thing that's happening in movies, magazines, music, social media, telling kids who they are, how to act, how to dress, how to be, what to look like, who to have sex with, using drugs, and on some fantasy that is not Who they are. Another way I put this is that people are out of position. It's like a sports team, and you have a guy who's a lineman, big thick guy, but he wants to play quarterback, and he's going out for quarterback, and he's not doing very well. Why? Because he's not a quarterback; he's not meant for that. Or you have a receiver, a little thinner, fast, but he wants to be a linebacker. And a linebacker, usually that's the kind of guy, usually pretty big, strong, fast, and you're tackling people. And this thinner guy is not doing very well. Why not? Because he's out of position. The catcher who wants to be the pitcher, you're out of position. And I find again, so many people are living their life out of position. They're not playing the right position that they were meant to play, where they can excel. Now, that's a sports metaphor. You can use any other metaphor you want. You get what I'm saying. You are put here on purpose with a purpose. That is what we're teaching in Youth on a Mission. You are not here by accident. There is a role for you to play in this world, and that role Matters. You matter. You count. And unless you fulfill the role of why you were put here, other people are not going to benefit from it, or they're not going to benefit from you because you're not fulfilling your role. You're missing, and other people are being affected by that. See, now that's a vision of life. An understanding that we want to give young people that they don't have. Probably a lot of you have seen the movie It's a Wonderful Life. It's an old movie. It comes out every Christmas. I think it's a great Christmas movie. My family watched it for years after year, and my kids when they were growing up, and we still watch it. Probably not every year like we used to, but we— it's a great movie. We watch it. Now, what is the point of that movie? It's about a guy who gets so frustrated with his life that he wants to commit suicide. Ultimately comes to a place, and right before he's going to commit suicide, somebody else is distressed, and he sees them, and then he jumps in the, the water to help this guy who's drowning. That turns out the guy— again, it's a movie, okay— he's an angel, and he saves him. And then the angel starts telling him about what his life would be like, showing him actually, and putting him in this fantasy world of what his life would be like, or what life would be like if he would committed suicide and he was no longer around. And so he did that so that he could realize people need you here. Life is not the same. Look at the way life would have turned out if you would have killed yourself. So it's a great way to help people understand why all of us have meaning. We have purpose. We have potential. We have a calling. And the enemy The enemy of God who created you, his enemy, does everything— Satan, the devil, however you want to look at it— it does everything he can to take you and destroy your life. Why is the human condition in the condition that it's in? Okay, that's more of a spiritual topic, but essentially You can see how a lot of people, their life is destroyed. They're on the wrong track. They have no meaning. They have no purpose. They're depressed, suicidal, drug addicted, in prison, in jail, all of those kinds of things. That was never meant to be. That was not why they were put on this earth. Okay, so that's where I'm coming from. So I say to leaders, our role, parents included, but this as far as a community leader, somebody who works in a nonprofit or a coach or a teacher or something like somebody like that, a mentor. Our purpose is to reclaim those lives, to redeem those lives back. To where they belong, to what they belong to, to restore them to their original purpose in life. And to see that happen is just something that is so powerful. And that's why I read you the 3 testimonies, not because it's about me. I hope you didn't get that idea. That's not— it's not about me. But I want to demonstrate to you that I know what I'm talking about, that I've done it. Those are only 3 testimonies that I could give a lot more, but so could you. Okay, and so that is why we do Youth on a Mission. So it's just hard to put into words. And the other thing is, some— sometimes, unfortunately, and this is the reason why I do Parents on a Mission, the parents aren't doing their job. They're not doing a good job. And so now you got these kids out there that are all messed up. So if we can't help the parent, then mentors are the next best thing, okay? And I did that for many years before I started doing Parents on a Mission. And you should know that story by now if you've been listening to me, how I went from being a youth mentor to becoming a parent mentor And then I went full circle after doing that for many years, and then I developed and wrote this book and developed this curriculum because I wanted to come back to let me go back to the youth mentors. And because can't fix all the parents, man. I wish we could help all the parents, but we can't. Some parents that really need help, they don't want help. And if they don't want help, I can't help them. That's the reality. So next best thing, let's continue to create. People who want to work with runaway youth, troubled youth, violent youth, or just youth that are just out of position and they're not living in their full potential. So we teach 7 principles. I'm not gonna obviously go through the whole thing. There's too many, too much here, but I want to give you an idea just in case you're interested. The first thing we talk about is the psychology of influence. Such a powerful understanding. And we use John Maxwell's definition of leadership. What does it mean to be a leader? What is leadership? Simple influence. If you have influence, you are leading people. Okay, and Stephen Covey talks about the circle of concern and the circle of influence, and it's the circle of influence that we want to focus on. And that's where we want our time and attention to focus on the people that we are influencing. That's leadership. And the point I make about that is that to be a leader, you don't have to be the boss. You don't have to be in a position of authority or power. You don't have to be the CEO, the principal of a school, the teacher, the coach, the head coach. Anybody that has influence— the gardener, the janitor, the cafeteria worker in the school— The secretaries at work, the— or whatever the proper term is these days, I don't know. But in other words, you're not in charge, but yet you have a circle of people starting in your— with your family, starting in your home, but outside of that as well. Could be neighbors, could be at church, could be at work. You have influence. That's leadership. And I love that because then that means anybody can be a leader. And as a matter of fact, anybody that's influencing other people is leading them. Okay, so that's the first thing when we talk about the psychology of influence, and that comes from the book by Robert Cialdini in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. And he talks about, he wrote that book to make us aware of how we are manipulated by advertisements to buy, to be consumers and to buy products. And he goes through the different, what he calls weapons of influence, and talks about how all of those things influence us. Psychologically, and it's a very powerful understanding. But he's showing us how we're being manipulated. So what I did, I took those same principles and said, "How can we use these principles?" Because human beings are psychologically influenced. Okay, let's use these principles that he talks about weapons of influence for a positive influence, not manipulating people. And so we talk about that. For example, like one here, just to give you an example, is the principle of reciprocity. And Robert Cialdini talks about how when somebody gives you something, a gift, something automatically happens in you that you just feel like you need to reciprocate. I always use the example, have you ever, say during Christmas time or something, Somebody comes to the house and they bring you a gift, but you didn't buy them a gift. How does that make you feel? It's like, oh, you didn't have to do that. Oh, I know, but I just wanna show you my appreciation. So you feel kind of bad and/or you feel, hey, I wanna reciprocate that kindness. So that's a, a form of influence psychologically. But like the way the advertisers do, they get, they send you free samples or you walking down the mall, they want to give you something for free, a free bite, a free taste, a free perfume, whatever. And the reason they're doing That is because they want to influence you to reciprocate and to buy something from them. So this is a simple example. So the psychology of influence, that's the first thing we, we talk about. Then the second thing we talk about is understanding human being, not human doing, because that's usually what we're focused on. But the point of a human being is Who am I becoming by what I'm doing? What's my the essence of my being as a human? So giving young people the understanding of how we function as human beings, and so I break it down in body, soul, and spirit, and how what's the functions of our body? What's the function of our soul? What's the function of our spirit? And which one of those things is influencing us in the choices that we are making on a daily basis? So if we're influenced mostly by the body, which is what we need to sleep, we need to eat, and we have the ability to be intimate, to have sex, to procreate. If those desires are leading you As a human being, then they're maybe not so great. Lazy, always eating, overeating, and you're addicted to pornography or something like that. Then the soul. The soul is our reasoning, our emotions, our thinking, and free will. So we make decisions and we get influenced with our feelings. We think, and then we decide and we make choices. How does that work? Because if we're always being led by our reasoning, we can reason our way into stealing things. Human beings will reason their way into killing people. It can get pretty ugly. It can be good or bad. But again, what is leading our being? Then we have our spirit, where we have our intuition, where we have communion with the spirit world. And where we have our conscience. And you've all heard the saying, be guided by your conscience. That would be nice if we always listened to our conscience, because our conscience functions for 2 things: to tell you when you're right and to tell you when you're wrong. And everybody has a conscience. It's impartial. Nonpolitical, and it's just right and wrong. And I wish I could always say that I listen to my conscience. Obviously, I haven't. I don't think anybody can say they do. But the more we do, the better we become. And so then we start to understand how we function as human beings—that we have this ability to respond. versus react. Reaction is instinctive and kind of an animal nature. And if you're reacting to survive, that's good. But reacting in relationships usually doesn't work very good. They hate me, I hate you. Hit me, I hit you. Push me, I push you. Just reacting. And that usually doesn't work too good. But again, so we walk the young people through this understanding of How we function, our body, the purpose of that, the purpose of our mind and thinking, emotions, our choices, and then the purpose of listening to your conscience, your intuition, maybe having a prayer life. Why? Because if we're coming from that place, then we're probably going to start to make better choices, feel better about ourselves, have some discipline in our mind, discipline in our body, discipline in the choices that we make and things like that. The third thing we talk about is how to discover your life purpose, vision, and legacy. And I always enjoy teaching this because we have the people answer certain questions about what is it that you love to do? If you— if money was not an issue and time wasn't an issue, how would you spend, let's just say, a year? You had a year No, the money is no problem. You don't have to work. You had a year. What would you do? Hopefully, you know, you, you would do something that you love doing. It's something that has meaning. So asking those kinds of questions, then we ask them to— I want you to think about in the 5 years from now, where do you want to be in your life? Where do you want to be? What do you want to be doing? Are you married? Are you in college? What goals do you have? Just asking those kind of Questions to get people to start thinking about who am I, what am I about, what do I want, where do I want to be, where do I want to go. And then we teach them how to create a vision board. And a vision board is just a simple concept. After you think about who you want to be, where you want to be, do you want to own a home, you want to go on these certain trips. So then you find these things in magazines. They cut out the pictures of a car they want, a home they want, a vacation they want, a goal that they have, and then they put it on a poster board. It's very simple. Or they can write on it. And then it's just something that we say, put that somewhere where you can see it all the time and just remind yourself you have a goal, you have a purpose, you have a vision for your life. You're not just existing like a lot of people. They're just existing and just tossed as the metaphor to and fro like a piece of wood in the ocean, just here and there. Whatever, que será. That, that's no way to live your life versus what we're doing is we're giving you a rudder. We're giving you a sail and a rudder because you have direction. You're not being tossed to and fro. You have an anchor that you can put down that anchor and you're where you want to be. And then when you want to move, you have a rudder and a sail to keep moving forward to, to achieve the vision that you have for your life. So that's the kind of lesson that is, and it really helps them begin to really see themselves living in their purpose and having a vision for their legacy. And the sooner they can get that, the better. Then 4th, we talk about how to develop your authenticity, because that is so important. Again, as I said earlier, We don't want people being this fake person, being like a chameleon, depending on who you're hanging around with and what the latest fad is. Now you're that. Oh, but 6 months later you're this. And hey, what happened? I thought you were— I'm about this now. And just constantly wherever the wind blows. No, we don't. We be authentic. Who are you? Who are you really? And so how do you discover your authenticity? So we have a whole lesson on that. on discovering that. And then once we discover our authentic self, then the next lesson is how to develop your authenticity. How does that happen? To discover it and to develop it. Now, this is something we also teach in Parents on a Mission— parents helping their kids to discover who they are and then help them to develop who they are. That's also Part of parents on a mission, but if they don't, this young person doesn't have that happening in their home, then we are providing this in the classes that they're taking with the youth on a mission mentor that's walking them through these lessons and helping them really value who they are, that they matter, that they have a specific purpose, that they were born on purpose. With a specific purpose, that they have a God-given talent and potential to live in their peak potential and be the best version of themselves. So that, that's what they're learning. And we're really building up their self-worth and their self-esteem to be proud of who they are, to walk with dignity and their head up, and not be afraid to worry about what other people are going to think about them, just because They want to be successful and have significance in their success. That, that kind of lesson. From there, I have this lesson that I created about how to dream your way to the top, and talking about the importance of tapping into the gift of imagination and intuition and following and allowing that spiritual part of us, that intuitive part of us. To lead us and then to use our imagination. As Einstein said, that imagination is more powerful than knowledge because knowledge has a kind of a limit. Imagination, there's no limit. You can just— you can imagine your way into a great purpose in life. And that is one of the benefits of meditation. The benefit of meditation is that you're getting out of your conscious world consciousness about everything around you and distractions and noise and the email and texting and the radio and music and television and noise. So you don't have time to tap into your subconscious mind to start using in your subconscious mind your imagination. To start creating that purpose, that legacy, that vision for your purpose in life. And so we walk through that, and that—that's the whole lesson about dreaming your way to the top. And I use some examples of other leaders that I know and other leaders, other stories—not only my own story, but the story of other leaders who went from the margins to the mainstream. by using their intuition, their imagination, their knowledge and self-mastery— how to master yourself. Remember, we talked about human being. Now we want to talk about how to master your being. And so dream your way to the top of whatever it is that these young people want to become. And then finally, we talk about destiny and the power of one. And in that, to understand that, you have to understand my story. So I tell my story about how I was saved by policemen from being run over by a train when I was 2 years old. And I tell the story in the book, but the snapshot of it is I was on the train. How all that happened, I don't want to necessarily get into all the details. How did a 2-year-old end up on train tracks? Our backyard was basically the train tracks where I grew up in Northeast Los Angeles. So it was very easy for me to get to the train tracks. But on that particular day, the train was coming. And when the guy— can you imagine the conductor seeing me? There's no way he could stop. No way. Yeah. So when he's, according to the article in the newspaper, again, it's all in the book. So he's blowing the horn, hoping to scare me to get off the tracks. Remember, I'm only 2 years old though. What that caused me to do was freeze. But what happened was there just so happened to be destiny. Okay. There just so happened to be 2 cops that were on the street parallel to the train tracks. So the train tracks are down here. The road is up here about 8 feet up higher. Or so, and they get a call that somebody got shot. So they're racing on their way to go find out about this crime that was committed on their and on their way they see me. Oh my God! So now they got to outrace the train, which they would not have done had they not already been going fast because they were trying to get to this crime scene. And outraced the train, screeched to a halt. The passenger, the guy in the cop in the passenger seat, shotgun seat, jumps out of the car, jumps down this embankment, pushes me off the train as the train goes by. So there's a lot more to the story. Buy the book. But I tell the story Destiny and the Power of One because I know That my life was saved to save lives. I didn't know that for many years. I never intended to do what I'm doing. What I wanted to do is what you see right here and what's behind me. I wanted to be a professional baseball player. That's what my whole goal in life was when I was young. I had no intention of doing what I'm doing now. But of course, as I got older and I. Nobody ever talked to my mom. Nobody, my dad, not my parent. Nobody, relatives, brothers, sisters ever talked to me about that incident. So I just forgot about it after a while. But one day my mom brought me the newspaper clipping, and then I, by that time, I had already been serving people and doing a lot of work, and I thought, man, my my life was saved to save. That's why I'm doing all this stuff. So I know my whole point in telling you this is that I know if you're listening to me right now. It's not an it's not an accident, and everybody I've met over my life and the many lives that I've I've influenced, and these were just three examples that I told you about today. But I've been doing this basically since 1982, basically, and it's just been a privilege. But what I'm saying is. We all have a destiny, and my destiny was to save lives just like my life was saved. And I think a lot of you who are listening to me right now, that's who you are. That's why you're listening to me. And I just pray you could read the book, and that would be great. But I just pray that if this is really resonating with you. That you'll go to my website, richardrramos.com. Click on the courses tab. You'll see the YOM Youth on a Mission YOM waitlist. You can get on that list, and the next time I do a certification training so that you can teach this to this is an older cover, but it's same material. Youth on a Mission: The Future of Influencers. That you could then start having weekly classes with the youth that are in your circle of influence. What do you think about that? So that's what Youth on a Mission is all about. I just wanted to share that with you in case you've heard me mention it before. And all of this—Parents on a Mission, Youth on a Mission. The executive director training and development I do—all of that's on my website. The books I've written. What is it? What am I doing? What am I saying? We have a mission in life. We have a calling in life. We have a destiny in life, and that is to serve other people, to reclaim, to restore. And to redeem people to their proper position in life, to snatch them from the jaws of evil, drug addiction, prostitution, and all the ugly things— gang life, violence, abuse. And just like my life was saved all those years ago, we intervene in their life and pull them off the tracks of destruction and put them on the tracks of life and liberty, because they find their voice, their true calling, their true purpose by you helping them through this simple curriculum that I put together called Youth on a Mission. So if you are interested in that I would love to have you on my team, and you can join just like I said. Go to my website and click on those things, sign up, and you will be hearing from me. Thanks a lot for listening. This is Richard Ramos, the Parent Whisperer Podcast, and I will see you in the next episode. Thanks a lot.