A Mental Health Message- Don’t let life k*ll you!

Hello. And how about the rest of y'all? How are y'all doing? Good. All right, great, great. Uh, my name is Rico Sharp, and it's an honor for me to be here with you today. And I'm a motivational speaker. I came here from the Orlando area today to talk to you. So I wanted to really just connect with you and be able to share my heart with you and empower you to be able to move on with your life and do some wonderful and fabulous things in life. So the first thing that I'm going to ask you to do is to stand to your feet, if you don't mind. And if you will, look at somebody on your left and right And just tell them who you are, because I know we don't always all know each other. Just introduce yourself, let them know who you are, and tell them I'm glad you're here with me today. I'm glad you're here with me. All right, now I always like to start my meetings off with a what I call declaration of positivity, right? How many of you believe in the power of positivity? Hell yeah! And, and so you got a choice, right? You got negativity out there circulating in the universe, and then you got positivity out there circulating in the universe. And one of the things about negativity and positivity that they both have in common is that both are created through the power of words. And so what I'm going to ask you to do is release the power from within of your positivity by looking at someone standing next to you and say to them these words: You have something special. You got to say it. You got to mean it. You got to let it out. You have greatness in your life. All right, so so let's try this. Let's Let's start over. Let's start over. I need you to talk. I need you to open your mouth and let it out. In fact, I will ask that you say it at this pitch. You have something special. You have greatness in your life. You are talented. You are creative. You are gifted. You have something— look at somebody when you say it. You got to look at them and talk. Come on. All right, so y'all have said it to me. I need you to say it to one another. So let's start over one more time. Look at somebody next to you on your left or your right and tell them, you are special. You are special. You have greatness in your life. You have greatness in your life. You are talented. You are talented. You are powerful. You are powerful. You are creative. You are creative. There is nothing that you cannot accomplish. There is nothing that you cannot accomplish. All things are possible. In your life. In your life. And I can see you in your future doing big and great things. Doing big and great things. Now give yourself a round of applause. All right, now before you take your seat, I'm going to ask you to say the same thing to yourself, but I want you to put a little more emphasis on it, right? I want you to be a little bit more forceful with it because you're speaking over your life, you're speaking over your future. And I want you to just say to yourself, put your hand right here and say, I am special. I am special. I am gifted. I am gifted. I am talented. I am talented. I have greatness in my life. I have greatness in my life. Nothing is impossible. Nothing is impossible. I can accomplish whatever I want to accomplish. I can accomplish whatever I want to accomplish. And I will realize my dream and make myself a great life. And make myself a great life. Can you believe that? Yes! Give yourself a round of applause. Thank you, thank you very much. You may be seated. My name is Rico Sharp. I'm a motivational speaker, I'm a life coach, I'm a leadership trainer, I'm an interpersonal skill developer, I'm a mentor and a counselor. I've been basically for the last 32 years of my life empowering people To be able to overcome adversity, realize their dream, and come into their greatness. And there are some things that you want to accomplish in this life, right? There are some things that you want. There are some things that you want to be able to make sure that before your time expires that you are able to realize in your life. And I'm here today to push you, to help you to understand how to get there, how to make that happen. Rico, Now, just to share a little bit with you about myself, and then we'll get into what I've come to talk about today, which is on the subject of suicide prevention. My life story began at the age of 13, basically, for me. I was born to a very loving, caring, dearing 14-year-old teenage mother who loved me with all her heart. But times were tough for her because She was raising 3 sons alone. And my father, who was a drug dealer, lived on the other side of town raising another family, really wasn't involved in my life. He wasn't there for my family. He was somewhere else raising a family that was not his. And so my mom, she struggled. She had challenges in her life being a teenager with 3 boys. And so what she ended up doing was sending me off to go live with a family member. Not because she didn't love me, but because she couldn't afford me. And so I stayed with this person for 5 years, and then that person got really sick and had to hand me back off to my mom. And so my mom did the best she could to take care of me and my 2 brothers without any help from anyone else. And sometimes I got shuffled around throughout different family members' homes. Sometimes I got shuffled around to church members' home. And then at one point, my mom came to me when I was around 13 years of age and she said, you know, I love you, but I can't deal with the situation anymore. I can't— you know, you, you guys are growing up, you're getting a hard head, you think you know it all, that kind of thing. I need you to go live with your dad. And at that point, I was petrified, terrified of my father. And I, I didn't really know the guy, didn't want to live with him. Every time he came around, All he did was just beat me and criticize me and, and just made me feel like I was unloved and unwanted, which is what I grew up feeling anyway because of being shuffled around everywhere. And so at the age of 13, in the 9th grade, there were some boys that were in my school, in my class, that were very flashy, very classy. They had money. The girls wanted to be with them. The guys wanted to be like them. And I'm in the classroom with these guys and they thought I was kind of cool. So I started like hanging around with them at school. And when my mom said to me, go live with your dad, and I didn't want to go live with this dude, I thought, you know what, this is my new family, these guys at school. I'm going to go and live with where they live. And so that day I made an immature decision to run away from home. And I ran away to go live on their side of town. I didn't have the capacity mentally to understand that these guys were not going to embrace me as their family member. I didn't have the capacity to understand that I just forced myself into a helpless situation. From that very day, I became homeless. From that very day, I had to learn how to survive by eating out of trash cans. Sleeping under oak trees, and sometimes in the middle of the night jumping up and having to run for my life to keep from being taken advantage of and abused by people out there on the street on drugs. And one thing led to another after being out there on the street homeless like that for months and months at a time. A drug dealer came by one night, and I was leaning up against an oak tree about 2 o'clock in the morning during the winter. Cold, shaking, and shivering. And he saw me as a young 13-year-old lost boy. He said to me, why are you out here in these streets every night like this? He said, like, every time I come by, I see you out here. And I said to him, because I don't have anywhere to go. I don't have any place to live. He said to me, come and get in the car with me. I got in the car with him and he took me to this rooming house that he and other drug dealers lived. And he bought me some clothes, gave me some food, allowed me to take a shower and to sleep there in that rooming house. But after about a week, he came to me and he said, hey Rico, if you're going to survive in these streets, then you're going to have to learn how to hustle. You're going to have to learn how to be a man, and you got to basically grow up overnight. And he handed me a bag of crack cocaine, and he said to me, go out there on the street corner and sell this crack cocaine. Make yourself some money, and this is how you're going to survive the street life. At that time, I didn't realize that I had alternatives and options. I didn't realize that there were things that I could do to not get involved in that lifestyle. And long story short, I started selling drugs. Couple of weeks later, I started drinking alcohol. Couple of weeks after that, I started smoking marijuana. And a few months later, I started using cocaine. And at the age of 13 now, I'm an alcoholic, I'm a weed head, I'm a drug head. And I'm addicted to cocaine, and I'm also a drug dealer on the street, risking my life every day and destroying the lives of others who I sold crack to. And eventually the police came and started watching me and saw me and said, hey, here's a young boy out here that doesn't belong out here, and he's involved in criminal activity. So immediately they started arresting me. I was so naive, I was drinking a beer while the police was walking up to me to arrest me at the age of 13. I had no idea that having alcohol in my possession as a young teenager was a crime. To me, it was like drinking Kool-Aid. But I went to jail that night, to the juvenile detention center, and eventually I got out. My mom came and got me. I went back to the streets. I got out, started living that same life again, got arrested again, got out, got arrested again, got out, got arrested again, got out, and eventually was taken to the adult county jail, bonded out, went back, bonded out, went back, eventually sent to prison, got out, went back to prison, got out, and went back to prison. I was arrested from the age of 13 to the age of 19. 19 different times. 19 different times. On that last time of being incarcerated, the judge said to me, you are a threat to society and you deserve to be locked up for the rest of your life. And I was facing 22 years in prison with the mandatory sentencing for trafficking cocaine. And the judge sent me to prison that last time. And And while in prison, I made a decision that I can't spend the rest of my life like this. I saw so many people die, so many of my friends and family members lose their life in the streets. There were so many times where I almost lost my life, where there were times when I almost OD'd off of cocaine in a hotel room by myself. There were times when the police beat me down, With their sticks and their clubs and even hit me with the car. There were times when I got beat up by like 12 guys at one time and left for dead. There were times when I jumped out of cars that was still going down the road trying to run from the police. There were times when I just really did crazy stuff because I thought that that was my life, that was my identity, and that was my purpose. Amen. But while sitting in prison on that third time, I met an older gentleman by the name of Billy. Billy had been in prison for like 30 years and was never going home. Billy had accumulated while in prison his own personal library. I became friends with Billy. Billy started mentoring me in prison, and Billy tucked me under his wing like his own son. And Billy and I developed a good friendship. One day I said to Billy, hey Billy, I'd like to buy your books. Billy said to me, well, I'd like to have some coffee, I'd like to have some cigarettes, so if you would take your commissary money and give it to me, I'll give you my books. And I made a deal to buy Billy books, and I bought an encyclopedia from Billy. I bought a dictionary. I bought an almanac. I bought commentaries. I bought Bibles. I bought everything that I could buy that Billy had, and I turned my dorm, my bunk, into a college. And I began for eight hours a day, ten hours a day, twelve hours a day, every day for years, every single day for years, just sat there. On my bunk and read and read and read and read. And I started memorizing words out of the dictionary, started memorizing verses out of the Bible. I involved myself in an educational and vocational program in prison called Interpersonal Life Skills. And there I began to realize that I am not a drug dealer. I am not a criminal. I am not a drug addict. I have a purpose to my life. I have greatness in my life. I have something to offer the world. And I began from that moment on to make up in my mind that I am not going out of prison the way I came in. One of the things that I discovered in prison, ladies and gentlemen, is that being in a physical prison is the manifestation of being in a mental prison. I go into jails and prisons now and I talk to inmates. I speak for the federal government. I go around to schools and colleges. I speak for businesses. When I came home out of prison on November 3rd, 1995, I got down on the pavement as soon as they opened the gate to release me and I kissed the pavement and I made a promise to myself. That I am never coming back to prison again as an inmate. Ladies and gentlemen, November 30th of this year will make 20— no, 30 years, 30 years that I've been out of prison. Thank you. That's like a birthday to me, and I'm grateful for the opportunity that I've had to be able to come out here and turn my life around. And I made a promise not only to myself, but I made a promise to life that I'm going to give life all that I have to give. I made a promise that I'm going to use the remainder of my life helping people to overcome adversity, to discover their purpose, to discover their greatness, to live their dream. And ever since that moment, I've been traveling the world. Speaking, helping people to realize the greatness that lives on the inside. I even started a transitional house for homeless people, for people who are coming out of jail and prison so that they wouldn't go back for the rest of their life or murder and rape and kidnap somebody out in society. And I've allowed for my focus to be on helping people like you. Every single day. Yesterday in the Daytona Beach area, I spoke twice for a company called RAO, which which are the acronyms for rising against all odds. And I shared with them on how to bring out the best in you and how to give life all you have to give. When I leave you today, I'm going to the Pembroke Pines location to speak to them tonight. This is. Suicide Prevention Month. And although some of you may not feel like that suicide is a contemplation that you would ever consider, the truth of the matter is mental health illness dwells in the best of us. And one of the things that I found as a counselor, as a mentor to professional athletes like people in the NBA, NFL, and WBO boxers, one of the things that I found with counseling my clients, which are in different states around the country, Is that mental health is an illness that is not actually identified until there are problems and issues that dramatically disrupt one's life, even to the point of death or suicide. I have a brother that I love very much who passed away a year ago this past August. He passed away From a broken heart. Life beat him down. Life beat him down so much that he didn't think that he could survive anymore, and he lost his will to live. I took care of him for the last 8 or 9 years of his life, doing everything that I could in my power to resuscitate his willpower, to help him to believe in himself, and to give him a fighting chance in life. But he had gone through so much that he just didn't have the fortitude to fight. One of the things that crippled and debilitated his willpower is that he was addicted to crack cocaine at the age of 15. And from the age of 15 to the age of 53, he battled on and off with seasons Of crack cocaine. And through his crack cocaine use, there were many times that he got beat up and he got jumped on by people out there in the streets. One time, somebody in the family that he was married in, from what he understood, got him in a hotel room one night, pulled out a golf club and hit him in the top of the head with a golf club and broke a 6-inch piece of his skull. And thrust it down into his brain, threw him in the bathtub, and left him for dead. The person who cleans the room comes in the next morning cleaning up the room, goes into the bathroom to clean up the bathroom and see blood everywhere, look behind the shower curtain and see my brother there nearly dead. Paul said, I'mma last Rushed him to the hospital. Doctors gave up on him and said he won't make it through the night. But by the grace of God, he survived. But he had to have multiple surgeries to replace his skull and put in a metal skull. And instantly he was paralyzed on his right side. And he went through life from that moment on being paralyzed. To add insult to injury, his daughter died at the age of 6 from brain cancer. If that wasn't enough, one day he was walking home from work, got hit by a car and broke up the right side of his body. If that wasn't enough, he had Crohn's disease. And if that wasn't enough, his wife, through his drug use and through the devastation of being married to somebody who's addicted Drugs, she divorced him. She was the love of his life. And so he found himself homeless, and I rescued him and put him in my house, my room in the house, took care of him. And I had a conversation with him which today has become the final conversation I had with him, without knowing that that would be the final conversation. And I went there and sat down next to him, and I started— I talked to him. His name's Felix. And I said, Felix, how you doing, man? And he just shook his head. I said, how are you? How are you feeling? And then he shook his head again. And I said, are you okay? And he shook his head again. I said, tell me what's going on. And then he shook his head for the 4th time. And I said, I understand, bro. And then he looked at me with sad eyes, and then he said to me, do you really understand? And I said, I do. I understand that it's difficult for you. I understand that you don't have your family anymore. I understand that your daughter has died in your life at the age of 6 from brain cancer. I understand that you have a brain injury and now you are cognitively disabled. I understand that you have physical disabilities and that you're paralyzed on your right side. I understand that life has been brutal to you. I understand that you feel like giving up. And then he looked at me and he nodded his head. And I didn't realize that that would be my final conversation with him. I said to him, I said, I'm going to come back next week and I'm going to take you fishing with me. Would you like that? And he smiled and he said, yeah. And then before I walked away, he basically said to me, don't let life kill you. Don't let life kill you. Don't let life kill you. He laid down. One night, about a week later, went to sleep, never woke up again. And when I got the phone call that my brother passed away and I had to come there and discover his body and call my mom to let my mom know that even though it was just a couple years ago your husband, my dad, passed away, Now, I'm sorry to tell you, your son passed away. You see, when you're dealing with mental health issues, it affects you in ways that you don't realize. Mental health issues or mental health illnesses is an invisible enemy, and it hides and it lurks on the inside. I had a friend of mine years ago. His name was Odell Hunt. Odell traveled with me to go out of town at times to speak at engagements. Odell was a very good friend of mine. Odell was fun. He was the life of the party. Odell was somebody that if everybody was sitting around just looking at each other, not really knowing what to do, Odell would show up and Odell had ideas. Odell say, man, let's go do this, and everybody be like, yeah! Because wherever Odell went, laughter would show up, recreation would show up, pleasure and enjoyment would show up. One day I got a phone call from Odell's mom. She was crying on the phone. She was very frantic. And I said, Miss Hunt, what's going on? She says, Rico, I want you to know that Odell is no longer with us. I said, what do you mean? Like, I just saw him a couple days ago. She took a moment, regained her composure. She said to me, she said, Odell committed suicide last night. I said, wow, no. What happened? She said he stepped in front of a train behind the house, and we discovered his body severed in the morning. I was speechless. I was confused. I was baffled. I could not comprehend how someone who lit up the room when they walked in, someone who was so pleasant, so, so gentle, so full of life— it just didn't add up. It didn't make any sense. It just didn't. You couldn't calculate this. You couldn't predetermine this. It didn't make sense. That somebody who had so much to offer life would claim their own life. Ladies and gentlemen, I discovered something. I discovered that suicide, that mental health illnesses, that depression, low self-esteem, and things in that nature, it lives, it hides in the best of us. Mm. I didn't realize in my own personal life that because of all of the grief and all of the trauma that I've experienced in my life after having lost 14 family members in a 5-year period, mainly through COVID-19, including my father who had just had a heart transplant— we worked tirelessly to save his life and got him a new heart that was going to guarantee him another 20 years of life, only for COVID-19 to come and snuff it away. I discovered in my own personal life that there has been moments where I felt like quitting and I couldn't take it anymore. And you would look at me and say, but you're a motivational speaker. Like, this is what you do. You empower people. You help people. You go around the world telling people they can live, they can survive. And even with all of that being the facts of my life, there still have been moments where I, as what some would call a Superman, have discovered my kryptonite is real. And what I've come here today to share with you Is when you're having mental health issues in your life, it's okay to understand that this is a process that you have found yourself in and you have to work yourself through. Doesn't mean that you're weak, doesn't mean that you're broken inside, that you can't be repaired. It doesn't mean that it's time to give up. Everybody have those Everyone have those moments where they feel like quitting. Everyone have those moments where they feel like giving up. Everyone have moments where we feel like we can't go on. Some people feel that way in their marriage, and then they divorce or they separate. Some people feel like that on a job, and then they quit. Some people feel like that in relationships, and then they walk off. We are in a real world, living a real life, dealing with real issues, real problems, and we need real solutions. I come here today to give you some solutions, and if you're able to take some notes, I'm going to ask you to utilize either your smartphone or pen and paper if you have. And do your best to retain as much information as you possibly can. The first thing is, number one, life is a gift. We call it the present. Time is precious. It is our greatest asset. Life is given for you to embrace, to experience, to enjoy, to enlighten, and to power yourself So that you can have the life that you dream of. I discovered something, ladies and gentlemen. I discovered that people don't have mental health issues because they use drugs. People have drug problems because of mental health issues. In other words, it is the mental health issues that leads people to drugs because people are looking for a way out, right? We want to escape the pain, right? We want to escape the misery. We want to escape what we feel inside. And so we turn to things like drugs. We turn to alcohol. We turn to eating disorders, right? We turn to dysfunctionalism because of the mental health issues. And so we try to find ways to cope. We try to find ways to, like, relieve ourselves of the pressure that we feel internally. We try to find ways to decompress. We try to find ways to grow wings so that we can fly away from what we're really dealing with in life. And oftentimes when people see us and they ask, how are you doing? We say, oh, I'm good. And we say that because we want folk to stay out of our business. Mm-hmm. We don't want to let folk in. So that they can see that I'm really not doing so well. I'm really struggling inside. Life is given to you as a gift, and life is put into your jurisdiction from the moment you turn 18 or so. When you're born, your life is in the jurisdiction of your family, your parents. Right? And it's their job to take care of you and look after you and provide for you and all of the above. But the moment you turn 18 or 21, whatever your parent deems to be the age of maturity, from that point on, your life is put into your hands, is put into your jurisdiction. And at that point, you're at the— you're in the position, the driving wheel or behind the wheel, the cockpit, to determine where you're going to go in life. And I want you to understand that your life is precious. Your life matters. Your life is your responsibility, and it's not enough to just exist from day to day. There are some elements in life that if you, if you seize the opportunity— life is what you make it to be. It can become all you want it to be. So what do I recommend from the start? Embrace The life that you have. Do this for me. Take a deep breath. Let it out. Do it again. Inhale. Exhale. You know what you just did? You seized the moment. For that moment, you lived in this moment. For that time being, you were able to captivate, you were able to apprehend the very essence of life. That is the breath that you breathe. And breath in your lungs itself is a gift. If you don't believe that, follow me down to the hospital where people are connected to oxygen tanks and they have to rely on machines like life support machines. To breathe for them. Life is given to you for you to experience happiness at whatever capacity your heart desires. Life is given to you for you to enjoy the recreation that this world has to offer and the people that you are acquainted with. Life is given to you so that you can be enlightened, so that your decision-making and your choices will reflect the intellect and the information and the education that you aspire to retain. Life is given to you so that you can become empowered. And what happens when you become empowered? You empower those around you. Say this with me: I will enjoy my life. I will enjoy my life. I will embrace my life. I will embrace my life. I will experience the best from my life. I will experience the best from my life. I will be enlightened. I will be enlightened. And I will be empowered. And I will be empowered. Do you mean that? Yes. Now, for some people— and I know you just made that declaration— but for some people, some people don't feel like what's so good about life is mainly their perspective and mindset. When I— what I found out through counseling and mentorship is that when I talk to my clients, everyone has got a story. Everyone has got a reason to feel dejected, to feel deprived. Everyone has got a reason to feel like quitting, like giving up. Everyone has got a reason. And if you sit down and listen to them, they will share with you the reason as to why they feel like That they've been deflated like a basketball by the pressure that life puts on them. And I've discovered, ladies and gentlemen, that when someone feels that way, that feeling is real to them. It's real to them. It's real. You may not be able to relate to it or identify with it, but to them it's real. And I've learned to respect people's feelings. Feelings, even if I don't understand it, because to them that feeling is real. Person that I knew and went to school with, one day I got the news that their body was found inside of a car parked in the woods, and when the police discovered the car. They were inside of the car, had been dead for several days because they picked up a revolver and blew their brains out. Someone may say, why would they do that? And especially in such a horrific way? I would say they felt a certain way about their life. And when you feel a certain way about life, you make decisions based on how you feel. When you feel a certain way in the moment, you become captivated by that moment. When you're going through stress and pressure, everyone else on the outside is looking at you and they're saying, oh, how wonderful you are, how wonderful your life is. But they don't know what you know, they don't see what you see, and they can't feel Feel what you feel, but you know how you feel. And when you feel a certain way, you feel that way to yourself, and that's all that really matters to you. And it's difficult to be able to look at the things you have going for you and to look at the people who love you when you feel deprived by life. It's hard to see the picture when you're in the frame. That's right. It's hard to look at yourself when you're caught up within. It's hard to perpetuate what your desires are in life when you become basically deprived by the pressures of life. Life is brutal. Life can seem unbearable. But I need you to make a decision today that no matter what comes my way in life, I'm going to give life all I have to give. Can you say that with me? No matter what comes. Come on, I need you to say it like you mean it. Put some force behind it. No matter what comes. A little bit more. Come on, give me a little bit more. No matter what comes in my life, I'm going to give life. All that I have to give. All that I have to give. Did you mean that? Yeah. Come on, clap your hands right there if you mean that. Point number 2, understand that life is not perfect and no one has the perfect life. So it's perfectly okay to not be perfect and to not perfectly have it all together. Years ago, I used to have my own worldwide television show and a broadcast on 3 different television stations and a radio station. And people looked at me and thought, man, you've really come a long way from where you started out. And indeed I have. But besides what people see And what is projected from a professional perspective, I am by far a long way from perfect. Perfect is not even my goal. It's not even my aim. It's not even an ambition of mine. I've learned how to replace perfect with the word purpose. I'm not living to be perfect-driven. I'm living to be purpose-driven. That's right. It's not— it's, it's good to have that mindset because, as you know already, you will disappoint you. You will let you down. Your flaws will shine through the darkness of obscurity into the light of notoriety, and people will eventually notice that you don't necessarily have it all together like they think. That's okay. Because you will not find anywhere in this world a perfect man or a perfect woman. It's okay to not be perfect. Don't put so much pressure on yourself and beat yourself up and be so hard on yourself because you mess up or you have flaws or you have shortcomings or you make mistakes. And sometimes your decision-making is not what you want it to be. One of the reasons why we develop mental illness It's because we live inside of this self-condemning mindset that tells us that every time we mess up, we need to beat ourselves up about it. We know better. We shouldn't have did this. We should not have done that. And we get depressed. We get dejected. We get disappointed. We get discouraged. Discouragement, disappointment, and dejection doesn't come from how other people treat you. Or how what other people think about you. It comes from how you treat yourself. It comes from what you feel on the inside based upon your personal evaluation and assessment of where you are and how you're doing at this juncture of your life. Discouragement means to lack courage. Why do we lack courage? Because We look at ourselves sometimes in an inferior disposition, and other times we look at ourselves and we compare ourselves to others, and we look at others' success and we think we should be where they are or further along. And oftentimes we just look in the mirror and then we compare where we are today to where we projected to be in life by now, and we end up discovering That we're imperfect, and we don't like imperfection in our lives. And because we don't like to be imperfect, because we don't like to make mistakes, because we don't want to be the reason for the breakup in the relationship, because we don't want to be the reason that people look at us and don't want to be acquainted and associated with us, because we don't want to be the reason that people look at us and label us in, in a negative derogatory way. We beat ourselves up for where we've arrived in life. Please understand, it's okay to not be perfect. Can you look at someone on your left and right and tell them it's okay to not be perfect? No, no, really, really, it's really okay to not be perfect. I'm not condoning to go out there and throw your life away, but if you get a speeding ticket on the way home, hey, that's life. It's okay that if you feel like crying and screaming, let it out. That's life. It's okay if you feel like you're having a bad day to sit down and decompress for a moment. That's life. It's okay if you have to come to to school early and leave late because you fell behind. Listen, it's not the end of the life. It's not the end of the world. It's not the end of you. You don't want to fall behind, but if you do, don't let life kill you. Right. You don't want a speeding ticket, but if it happened, it's life. Don't let life kill you. You don't want to be the reason for the breakup in the relationship, but if it happens, don't let life kill you. You don't want to be incarcerated like Rico Sharp 19 times, but if it happens, that's life. Learn from it, grow from it, evolve from it, move on from it, and don't let life kill you. I come to give you a license to be human. I come to tell you that it's okay that you're not perfect. You're not going to be the perfect mom. Just be the best mom that you could possibly be. Thank you. You're not gonna be the best father in the world, but be the best that you possibly and potentially can be. You're not gonna be the best husband and the best wife, but be the best you can. And if you mess up, that's life. Don't let life kill you. Do this for me. Look at someone on your left and right and tell them, "Don't let life kill you." Resist the temptation to compare yourself to other people. You see, after all of the mess up that I made in my life, I didn't see how I could come out while I was in until I stopped looking around at other people's. flawless presentation of themselves. And then I started looking inside, and I discovered interpersonally that I have something to offer. Point number 3, they're coming to engage your will to live. Everyone in their life needs a why and a who. Your why is your inspiration. Your who is your motivation. When you're going through life and you run into hardship and you run into mountains and you run into difficult times, at that particular moment, I need you to step back for a moment and ask yourself, why am I here? Hmm. What's my purpose in life? Why did I sign up for college? Why am I in this— enrolled in this higher school of learning? Why am I out to get a degree or a vocational trade? What am I after? What is my why? My why is my inspiration. And then what is my who? My who are those who love me. How many of you are parents? Raise your hand. How many of you have people who love you? Raise your hand. Your who represents the people in your life who loves you, who believes in you. Your who may be your child. Your kids. Your who may be your mom, your dad, your grandparents, your friend. And if you don't have any of those folk in your life that you believe love you, then you are your who. And your who is your motivation. You're doing what you're doing. You're here because you got other people who believes in you, who's counting on you, who has invested into your life. And they know you have what it takes to build yourself a good life. What you have to do is engage your willpower to make sure that you are not allowing for life's problems and life circumstance to deplete you and to deprive you of your willpower. Anything in life that is going to happen that is great is going to cost you something. Oftentimes it's going to be a sacrifice. And you have to engage your willpower in order to be successful at anything in life. You've heard it like this before: only the strong shall survive. Strong doesn't mean you're better than anyone else, doesn't even mean you're stronger than anyone else. It simply means that you have fortified your willpower. And when you make up your mind to go after something in life, you let nothing derail you. Let's go to point number 4. Reach out for help. Find healthy, encouraging, loving people who are genuinely a part of the relationship with you or part of your circle, part of your franchise, not because they want anything from you, but they want to see you win in life. You see, everybody, ladies and gentlemen, needs someone they can talk to, someone they can relate to, someone they can depend on. When I first started getting calls and visits by professional athletes, my first thought was, I've never played pro ball. I've had people who played in the NFL sitting in my audience listening to me speak week after week. I never acknowledged it. I didn't even know who they were. One day someone came up to me and started saying to me, did you know so-and-so comes here to hear you speak every week? I said, no, I don't even know who they are. Well, let me introduce you. And from one athlete to another, from one to another, from one to another, and I discovered that people were coming to me because they needed someone that they considered to be healthy, encouraging, loving, and somebody that could speak life into them. You see, ladies and gentlemen, I've come here today and I drove 4 hours to speak life Into you. I came here today and left everything that I know as my life back home to come speak life into you. If you don't have healthy, empowering, loving people in your life, I want to advise you today, before you lay your head on your pillow tonight, make contact with someone that you can confide in and talk to. So that when you're feeling compressed by life, they can speak life into you to help you resuscitate. Because the time is going to come where you are going to need someone. The time is going to come where life is going to hit you with a low blow. Time is going to come where Mr. Murphy— you ever heard of Mr. Murphy before? Yes. Mr. Murphy, Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and it will. Mr. Murphy's going to visit you one day, and when you get a visit from Mr. Murphy, you can't scramble at that moment to try to get prepared. The best solution is to be prepared before Mr. Murphy shows up, because he's coming. Can you look at somebody and tell them Mr. Murphy is coming your way? Mr. Murphy is coming your way. Mr. Murphy's coming your way. Yes, he is. When he shows up, you gotta let Mr. Murphy know whatever your last name is. Let's say it's Jones or Jackson. You let Mr. Murphy know, Mr. Jones is prepared. I'm equipped. I got healthy, encouraging, empowering, loving people as a support system in my life. Then Talk to somebody or call the suicide hotline. I wanted to verify that the suicide hotline was an actual working number. So some time ago, I picked up my phone and I dialed 988. And at that moment, I discovered there are some people out there that are helping, empowering, encouraging, loving, that will listen, that will help you to get your life back together. That's right. Even Humpty Dumpty found someone to put his life back together again. That just came to my mind. Yes. Tell yourself that you are not alone and that others do care about you. One of the beginning signs and traits of having mental health issues is to begin to feel secluded, Abandoned, neglected, rejected. See, I grew up with rejection in my life. I grew up not feeling loved and welcomed and, and not feeling like I really fit in or that I really belonged. I felt like nobody really wanted me, and that set the stage for me to find myself seeking and searching to be accepted by anybody that would open their arms for me. That's where the entrapment was set for my life. Amen. By the grace of God, I survived that. But there were moments where I almost didn't survive. I thought nobody cared. One particular night, I was about 15 years of age. I had no business being able to get a hotel room by myself, and I certainly had no business being in a hotel room by myself as a cocaine addict. What happened? But I'm sitting in this hotel room using powder cocaine, and I know that my life is just seconds from death. My nose was bleeding and blood was running out of both nostrils. I turned a towel that was white completely red. And while I'm dying and the veins are enlarging in my head and my eyes are starting to get really big and glossy, and I feel my heart palpitating really hardly in my chest, And I know I'm about to die, but I was helpless. I was powerless. And I constantly continued to put the drugs up my nose. I would wipe the blood and snort, wipe the blood and snort until I passed out. 15 years of age inside of a hotel room. The next morning I woke up not even knowing where I was. Seeing all this blood everywhere, trying to figure out what happened. You see, here's something else I discovered: that when people use drugs and alcohol and put all kind of filth in their body, that in itself, ladies and gentlemen, is a formation of suicide. See, we look at suicide as being something quick. Like turning on the helium tanks, the propane tanks, parking the car in the garage and let the door down so that the fumes can build up. We look at suicide as being in the characterization of taking a bunch of unprescribed medication for an overdose's sake, suicide by cops, suicide through guns and knives and things of that nature, driving a car off the cliff. But every time you put drugs in your body, you're killing yourself. Every time you abuse alcohol, you're killing yourself. Every time you put tobacco in your body, you're doing it at an unprecedented rate. You are committing suicide. It's just a slower process of suicide, but you're doing it. Amen. And it catches up with you 10 years down the road, 20 years down the road, and your lungs are no good, your heart no good. And it's not that you develop mental health issues because of that, it's mental health issues that led you to do that. Mm-hmm. That's why I can say to you that it lives in the best of us, and many of us are struggling with mental health issues And we don't even realize it. At some point, you got to get back to loving you and being the best that you can be. Point number 5, create a safety plan. See, I didn't have a safety plan when I was out there living like a chicken with her head cut off, just running wild. But remove access to lethal means. Make sure that any potentially dangerous items such as firearms, medication, or sharp objects are not easily accessible. See, I found myself one night, ladies and gentlemen, at midnight, sitting on my couch with a 9mm in my hand, contemplating Suicide. I realized I had a battle with mental health illness. I found myself one day, ladies and gentlemen, sitting in a dark room for hours and hours and hours and hours at a time, not wanting to be social, Not wanting recreation, not wanting to eat, not wanting to sleep, just wrapped up by the darkness. I discovered I was going through a mental health challenge, and oh, was I shocked because I thought, not me, not Rico Sharp. Not Mr. Motivator, not the one that's helping other people to live their best life. Why are these thoughts in my mind? See, each and every one of us through life, we're going to be challenged at least once in life with the thought, with the temptation, and with the contemplation of giving up on life. And it is what— it is the tools that you have at that moment that determine what the outcome is. Say this with me, it is the tools that I have— It is the tools that I have— At that moment— At that moment— That determines— That determines— The outcome. The outcome. See, we know people that we admire who committed suicide. Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Robin Williams. And some of us, for the life of us, can't figure out what was so bad about their life being as rich as they were and as successful in their careers as they were to want to end their life. And it has nothing to do with physical success, financial success. Can you believe Kate Spade left behind her little girls? She loved them. She loved her husband. But something Disconnected in her heart with her will to live in that body. Because oftentimes when you're living behind glass windows and everyone's looking on the inside from the outside, they don't see the real you. Because the real you is not who you portray to be in Hollywood. It's not who you portray to be when you walk outside your house. It's not who you portray to be— I'm not a hypocrite. The real you is who you are when you're at home, you take your jacket off, and you take your shoes off, and you sit down, and you turn the television on, and you're not content with anything on television, and then you're pacing back and forth from your bathroom to your kitchen, and you can't seem to figure out how to settle yourself down, and in your mind you got a raging storm like a Category 5 about to hit home at any moment, and it is at that moment that you discover that your life is in turmoil internally, and you're restless in your mind, and you're not at peace in your mind. And to some degrees, you don't like you. To some degrees, you don't like your life. To some degrees, you feel trapped in that body. When people take their life, they're not trying to kill themselves. They're trying to put an end to what they feel inside. They're trying to kill the pain they feel. When people put a light into their life, they are not trying to leave this world or leave who they love behind. They know the pain and the agony that is going to afflict upon those that love them. They're not trying to hurt anyone. They're trying to silence the voice of the pain they feel. As a result of mental health illnesses. That's why you get help early before you find yourself dealing with the latter stages, like if it was cancer stage 4. You get help early when you, you learn to read the signs, you learn to create a safety plan, and you make sure that you keep yourself free of anything that you can use at that moment. Because suicide oftentimes is premeditated, and then other times it's in the spur of the moment. Many people do it without any contemplation. It's when you have accessible to hurtful objects that can take your life in a moment's time that some people do it without giving thought to it. Number six, and I got about ten minutes left. Number six, identify warning signs and leap into action. Learn how to read the signs. Can you look at somebody on your left or right and tell them? Learn how to read the signs. Know the thoughts, the feelings, or the situation that triggers suicidal feelings, and create strategies to manage those thoughts and feelings. List coping strategies. Write down activities or practices that have helped you in the past to cope with intense emotions, such as listening to music, exercising, or engaging in hobbies and recreation that you like, that you enjoy, and that you desire. Do what you have to do to keep yourself safe from you. See, we go through life protecting ourselves from others. But we forget that oftentimes we have to protect ourselves from ourselves, and you have the jurisdiction over your life to protect you and to do what's best for you. Number 7, determined to engage Your will to live. Life is given for you to embrace, experience, and enjoy every moment that you have. However, that's not always the case, right? For many people, life is brutal. Life is a battle. Life seems unbearable. And I'm basically coming back to this because this is how I started, but I want to drive this point home. I have this saying. And it's called life is what you make it. Life is what you make it. Life is not supposed to be easy. It's not supposed to be sweet all the time. Life is not a game. Life is a fight. Life is a battle. Life is a challenge. And when you have these challenges in your life, you got to sign up to fight. You got to put on your Mike Tyson box of gloves, and you got to stand up. You got to fight back against life because life has come to defeat you. That's why I say don't let life kill you. Everybody's not going to have it easy in this world. Everyone's not born with millions of dollars waiting for them. And even if they are, just because you're a multi-millionaire doesn't mean that you're free from mental health illnesses. Mm-hmm. Because I know of people who were very, very rich. In fact, Deion Sanders— anyone know who he is? He talks a lot about how he wanted to commit suicide, and one particular time he tried to drive his fancy car off the cliff to kill himself and did not succeed. It lives in the best of us, ladies and gentlemen. That's why you have to determine that every single day I'm engaging my will to live. Just like I engage my will to get dressed, I'm engaging my will to live. Just like I'm engaging my will to stop by Red Lobster and grab a lobster, I'm engaging my will to live. Just like I engage my will to get up, to come here to Florida Technical College, I'm engaging my will to live. Mm. That's your right, and you have to follow through with that. Number 8, mental toughness is a prerequisite for mental health stability. You have to have a strong mind. In 1951, Timex coined this expression about their watch called, it takes a licking and keep on ticking. Most of you are not even around long enough to see a commercial on television. But there's a couple of us that remember that commercial. They took their watch, they put it down on the pavement and ran it over with the car. Then they took a hammer and hit it. And even after all of that abuse, that watch still ticked. And they said, this watch takes a licking and keep on ticking. I submit to you today, ladies and gentlemen, that you must be like that watch. You must take life's beat. You must take life's brutality. You must go through what you have to go through and keep on keeping on. You take your list and you keep on ticking. How do you do that? Through mental toughness. Mm-hmm. Your mentality creates your reality. Therefore, having resilience gives you the mental capacity to overcome adversity. You got to be resilient in life. How could I turn my life around from being a drug addict, drug dealer, an ex-convict, a prisoner, to now traveling the world, invested in real estate, mentoring professional athletes, having people who seek out my counsel and my advice, and impacting the lives of everyday citizens? Without mental toughness. There's something that I had to do, and I'm going to get to it. Number 9, I had to learn life lessons. This is actually supposed to be number 9, but I guess I made it number 10. Always love you. This is important. Always Love you. What did I say? Always love you. Always love you. See, it's easy to love you when you're operating at the top of your game. It's easy to love you when you're succeeding in life's endeavor. It's easy to love you when you're doing everything you desire to do with your life. But can you love you through failure? Can you love you through disappointment? Can you love you right after you've made a negative decision or you chose the wrong choice? Can you love you right after you just did something to hurt someone else? Can you get arrested and still love you? Mm-hmm. Can you fail and still love you? Like me, can you drop out of school and end the 9th grade as a straight-A student and still love you? Can you get your GED in prison and still love you? Mm-hmm. Can you see people you care about that you know love you? Can you see Mama die, Daddy die, brothers and sisters die, husbands walk off, wives walk off and divorce you, And can you look in the mirror and still love the person that's left standing alone? You have to. You have to. You don't get the chance to hate you. You don't get the chance to dislike you. If there's something about your life you don't like, fix it. If you're overweight, fix it. If you're struggling financially, fix it. If you're making poor choices, fix it. Because when you fix you, you can still have what you want in life. I love me with all of my imperfections. I love me with all of the mistakes I've made. See, at one point I was ashamed to talk to people about my past life. At one point I was ashamed to talk about how I've been arrested 19 times. I was afraid that people were going to reject me, that folk were going to look at me and say, who is this guy? Who does he think he is coming here talking to us like he's Mr. Somebody? And that was my struggle because I felt like if other people didn't love me, then there was something wrong with me. I felt like if other people didn't receive me, there was something wrong with me. I felt like if other people criticized and ridiculed me, they were right. There's something wrong with me. But then interpersonally, I discovered self-love. And when I discovered self-love, then I realized, hey, those folk, they were wrong about me. I'm not who they think I am. I am who I know I am, and I love me. Can you say this with me? I love me. I love me. Number 2, always believe in you. Believing in you empowers you to make your dream your reality. Always believe in you. Never believe more in someone else than you do in yourself. Never have more faith and confidence in someone else than you do yourself. This helps you to repel the mental health contemplation of giving up on you. Number 3, you are your best friend. Never be more of a friend to someone else than you are to yourself. Number 4, always support you. It's your responsibility to give yourself the support you need when you need it. Like I said earlier, you don't get to give up on you. You don't get to walk away from you. And number 5, which is one of my favorites, ladies and gentlemen, forgive you. When you do something to let you down, forgive you. Don't waddle in that. Don't dwell in that state of self-pity and regret and remorse. Because regret, remorse, and self-pity is a cancer. It deteriorates how you feel about yourself internally. I don't live with regrets in my life. Somebody once asked me when I was at a college speaking, they said, do you have any regrets? I about the things you did along the way? I said, I don't have any regrets. I had to release myself from being regretful. I said, now, if I could go back and change anything in my life, I would change when I was 13, when I dropped out of high school and ran away from home. Other than that, I don't have anything else that I feel like I need to go back and change. I understand there's certain paths we take. It's called destiny. Yes. It's supposed to bring us to a certain place. We learn from what we go through along the way so that we do not repeat our actions, and then those experiences become a vantage point for us. It inspires us and equips us with what we need to necessitate change in the lives of others. Always forgive you. Always forgive you. Now I'm going to ask you to say something And I want you to really mean it when you say it. Say this with me: I will always love me. Number two, I will always believe in me. Number three, I am my best friend. Number four, I will always support me. And number five, I will always forgive me. And forgiving us is the hardest thing to do. Our Creator forgives us. The people we hurt, they forgive us and they move on with or without us, but they forgive us. We forgive others when they do wrong to us, but forgiving us, forgiving ourselves, is one of the most difficult things to do. Because when you forgive you, You release you. The charges are dismissed. See this $100 bill? It's in a pretty crisp state. It's almost like flawless. But I'm going to take this $100 bill and I'm going to do that to it. What are you going to rip, guys? That's called abuse. Then I'm going to take it, I'm going to pull all over it. Now I got enough sense to not rip it apart, but I'm going to pull. I'm taking it through abuse. And then to add insult to injury, I'm going to throw it down as if I don't care about it. And then I'm going to come over to it And I'm gonna step on it as if it has no worth and it has no value. And then I'm gonna treat it like a junkyard dog and a backyard alley cat. I'm just gonna just abuse it even more and just kick it around. And I'm gonna say to it, you're nothing, you're nobody. I'm gonna divorce it. I'm gonna spit on it. I'm gonna walk away from it and abandon it. I'm going to treat it as if it has no value, and then I'm out. Now I'm going to get back to it before any one of y'all move, so don't try nothing. I walk off, but guess what? Somebody else comes along and they walk over and they discover that $100 bill. And they pick it up, and they begin to unravel. They begin to work with it. They start fixing on it. They notice it's been damaged. They notice it's been abused. They notice it's been dejected and ostracized. They notice it's gone through some horrific abuse in life, but with a little love. With a little care, they begin to invest time in putting it back together. You know why? Because they realize that in spite of the abuse, in spite of the trauma, in spite of the divorce, in spite of the disappointment, in spite of the failures, in spite of the dejection, it still has its worth. It's still It still retains its power. And that's how it is with us, ladies and gentlemen. We go through life, we get beat up, we get thrown down, we feel like we have no chance left at having a great life. People walk off from us, people give up on us, people abuse us verbally, physically, and mentally. That's right. Abuse us sexually, abuse us mentally, abuse us psychologically. People abandon us in the time of need. People kick us around and treat us like a junkyard dog and a backyard alley cat. But after all of that abuse, after all of the trauma, after being incarcerated, after being on drugs, after having a divorce, after your kids being taken away from you, after failing in school, after having to start over again in And in life, you discover I still have my worth. There is a man who has this dream, and he's running through the woods. And in this dream, this bear is chasing behind him. And while running, trying to elude the bear, he trips over the root of a tree and he falls. And when he turns over to look up, the bear is coming down over the top of him. And he looks up at the bear and he says, Mr. Bear, are you going to eat me? And the bear paws. And the bear replies, I don't know. Only you can determine how your dream ends. That's true. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your life. Only you can determine how your life ends, how your story goes, and how your dream ends. Always reach for the moon, because even if you miss, you will land among the stars. Be willing to aim high and hit nothing rather than to aim low and hit everything. Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit. Be willing to do today things that others won't do so that you can have tomorrow things that others won't have. Mm. Understand that your attitude towards life determines life's attitude toward you. Tough times don't last always, but tough people do. And when tough people rise up, they overcome tough times. Understand that other people's opinions of you matters not to the determination of your destiny, nor to the dictation of your potential. So walk not in the shadows of those you admire. Discover your own passion and dare to aspire, for then you will realize your greatness and your purpose for life. And live a life that inspires. And think sharp, talk sharp, plan sharp, dress sharp, walk sharp, eat sharp, live sharp, and you'll be sharp. Thank you for your time, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Rico Sharp. Powerful stuff, my people. So real quick, uh, From New York University, Columbia Technical College, uh, our campus, our staff, administration, all our students want to thank you one more time. Extremely important for you guys to get this information, to get this, uh, so we want to thank you for your time, for being here. All the staff, all the people that joined, thank you. So now for you Thank you, guys. Uh, we have a Q&A if you want to, so if you have any questions, he will be here for a little bit more. Uh, one more time, Rico Sharp! So we have, we have a couple of minutes for Q&A. If you have a question that you would like to ask me, I want to take this moment to digress and answer whatever questions you have. If you have a question you Like that. If you want to get a picture with me, you can come and get a picture with me. I do do personal counseling and mentoring. So if you would like to get a picture, come. If you would like a card, I can give you a card. If I can get about four of you to say what you receive out of hearing me talk to you, I would appreciate it. So I put it on my website and on my social media. You can find me on any website or any social. Thank you, sir. Thank you for the opportunity. Absolutely. Yes. And let me get, let me get a picture too. Mercedes, can you, can you