How Do You Keep Going After Cancer? A Cancer Survivor’s Story

Kate Gale was 27, raising 2 young daughters when she found out she had breast cancer. She is the author, speaker, wife, and mum from Ballarat. She faced breast cancer, supported her husband through cancer, and later lived through leukemia and a stroke. Her memoir, Angry, Grateful, Still Alive, tells the story of motherhood, fear, anger, and finding reasons to laugh through it all. Welcome, Kate, to Beyond Diagnosis.

Thank you so much.

Well, you already hit— we were talking before we press record and how you really were hit with so many things. I mean, 2 cancers and a stroke and then your husband. Let's start with your story though on what made you check your breasts that day in the shower.

Uh, well, I was working as a hairdresser at the time and I was speaking with a client And she just informed me that she had breast cancer. And, you know, I went down the awkward conversation that surrounds cancer. And when you say, oh, I'm sorry to hear that. And she said to me, I hope you check your breasts. And I went, of course I do. And I had never done a breast check. And the rest of that night, I felt really guilty because I'd actually lied straight to this woman's face. But the next morning in the shower, I said, yep, let's check my breasts. And so I did. And unfortunately, I found a lump. So it was one conversation session with a, uh, a headless client, and my life changed forever.

That's incredible, isn't it? Sometimes we think, why did our paths cross? Why did you— why did she come into your salon? Why did you end up having that conversation? Why, you know? And it was like this message for you. I always find it interesting sometimes when we check our breasts, because, you know, not everyone has perfectly smooth, uh, firm breasts. Sometimes, you know, you can't— they do feel a bit lumpy, you know, they do feel a bit different. How do you recognize what is a lump or something that maybe it's just tissue changing as we're getting older? Was it— is it significant? Like, how did you go, oh, that is a lump, definitely?

I had not long finished breastfeeding my youngest daughter, Gemma, and I never had any issues feeding or mastitis or anything like that. When I did the breast check and I felt it, it was very obvious that there was a lump. It was at 12 o'clock at the top of my right breast, and I got out of the shower and I dried myself, and then I sort of did it again, and I thought, hang on, there's That's really not right. Asked my husband to check it and he said, yeah, that doesn't feel good. It was the size of a pea. It was 0.8 of a centimeter, but it was very obvious that it shouldn't have been there. Yeah, off to the doctors we, we went.

So speaking of doctor, you say that being diagnosed wasn't straightforward for you. So what happened?

I think it came back to that I was 27 and breast cancer is a, well, back then it was an old lady's disease. So it's, it's not that I was fobbed off. It was just more to the, you know, I, I don't think it will be anything. You've just stopped breastfeeding and, and, you know, breast cancer is more of an old lady's disease and yeah, you're just 27 and it was just sort of flip-flop, but I knew that it wasn't right and that it shouldn't be there. And it was actually really sore. And when I had, you know, a little person climbing over me a lot with elbows and hands going in all different directions. She quite often leant on it and I nearly went through the roof a couple of times. So I knew it wasn't right. And I'm sort of just glad that I kept going back to the doctor. I felt, I felt like I was a hypochondriac. I thought, well, hang on a minute, they've already told me it's okay. But I just kept pushing. I just had that gut feeling that something's not right here. And I just kept pushing and eventually went for a mammogram and there it was.

And thank goodness you've got that personality that does keep pushing, that you don't just accept what they say. So how did you feel when you, it sounds like you were being dismissed.

I suppose that's where the angry comes in.

The angry part comes in.

And I'm still really passionate about that side of things. You've really got to speak up and advocate for yourself because if you've got that gut feeling, I'm a really strong one with going with, if you've got the gut feeling, you stick with it. Because if I didn't, then I probably wouldn't be sitting here. But yeah, I was angry. Even when I went for the mammogram, the lady said to me, how old are you? And she said it in quite a condescending way. And I went, I'm 27. And she said, no, we're probably not going to see anything. And the word probably, that was probably the bit that made me really put my foot down. And I just said to her, and quite rudely, which is not normally like me, I just said, how about you do the job that you've been asked to do, and then we'll talk about it afterwards if it's nothing. And she took, you know, a couple of pictures, and I was raced out to have an urgent ultrasound, and the roller coaster began. Years later, that lady actually did my last mammogram, and she apologized. She actually said to to me, I'm so sorry for all those years ago. And I just said to her, you've always thought about it. And that's, that's the best thing that you could have done to change was not dismiss anybody else because it can happen to anybody. It doesn't matter what age you are. It's not necessarily an old lady's disease. Yeah, just listen to the patient. And that's probably my biggest thing that I advocate for now is listening to the patient.

Yeah, absolutely. That's really what I like to get across on this podcast with the Beyond Diagnosis, a collective that I run is It's really about no one knows your body as well as you do. You know, sometimes even if you don't feel a lump, you can just feel something is different about your body, just intuitively. And you have to go, you keep pushing because people will come up with their assumptions and, you know, and it's not right that they put their assumptions on you and run everything from that assumption. So that is, it's fantastic that you actually did do that. You write that cancer doesn't just attack the body, it slowly takes over who you are. What do you mean by that?

It just becomes your life. Like you really have succumb to it in a certain way of, you have to put your body in the hands of people and you have to trust. And when you hand yourself over like that, you sort of lose that, that person that you are. Like it, it takes a bit of your heart with, with it. That's, you know, your heart's broken when you hear that you've got cancer. Things like losing your hair. That was my identity. I was a hairdresser. Losing my hair was, you know, thinking back now, people will say to you, it's just hair. It grows back. And I go, yep, correct. But it's got to go first and you have to deal with that first. And then you have to deal with it growing back and it's not necessarily what it was beforehand. And there's just a lot of things that you've got to, you just have to accept along the way. And I think you just lose a little piece of yourself every time you have to accept what cancer's doing to you. Like it's—

Yeah.

Have to succumb to treatment, not being able to look after my children like I, I could. Um, they were 3 and 1 when I first got diagnosed. They were my babies. And then you have to rely on other people to look after your children and, you know, no one could look after them as well as you can.

That's right. And that connection.

Yeah. So I lost, I lost the old Kate and, and I spent a lot of time trying to find her.

The comment you made, someone said it's just hair, it'll grow back. But look how much importance as a society we actually put on hair. Everybody wants to look after their hair. They want a great haircut. You know, it, it makes them who they are. The way they look is such an integral part. So to then suddenly feel like I have to go out into the world bald, you know, especially as a woman, you know, that must bring up a lot of feeling.

I, I just got to the point of— I actually, I sat on my kid— my sister's kitchen floor and I let my girls and my dad shave my head. One, so my girls could understand. Like, we, we never kept anything from them, but at 3 and 1, they don't understand that mum is sick. So we used to just use very plain language, like, you know, mummy's sick and she has to have some medicine that's going to make her hair fall out. But I made the choice to shave it before it all started to come out so they could do it and they could literally see that mummy's hair was shaved off and, and it's, and it's gone. So I could help them understand. But it was also a way of me taking the reins and going, you know what, I need to be strong here and I need to take control. That's why I shaved it. But then I had a wig. I hated wearing a wig. I felt like I had a dead cat sitting on my head the whole time. And then I said, right, we're going shopping. And my sister lives around the corner from a massive shopping center. And, and we went shopping and I needed to do that to face society and for people to stare at me and for me to understand that they are as inquisitive as I am nervous.

Yeah.

So. I'd rather people look at me and go, oh, she's bald, she must be going through treatment, move on, rather than, you know, have to wear a wig and people looking at me and thinking, is that a wig? Or wearing a scarf because I just didn't feel comfortable. But that was just my way of dealing with it. I just faced it head on and I needed to take control.

Good on you. Is that why you say there was a moment when the word brave actually made you feel uncomfortable?

Yep. It still makes me feel uncomfortable. Brave to me is, well, if you look at the definition in the dictionary, brave is that you are ready to take on anything. And that, I was never ready. I was never ready. Courageous means you're willing to take on anything. And I think I, I go in the courageous boat more than the brave. Like, I understand that people look at me and think, wow, you've been through so much. You're so brave to have done that. But I was never, ever willing. I was never ready. for that. I was willing for that. Yes, I, I had to get to the other side. I didn't have a choice. That choice was taken away from me, and, and that was the only road that I could go down to get to the other side. So courageous, yes, but brave still makes me a little bit uncomfortable. But I get where people are coming from. I do understand it.

I mean, it's the first word that usually comes to people's minds when they think of something like this, or for someone going through something like you did. So you've gone through the cancer, you've had the treatment, You've lost your hair, and then just as life started looking good for you, you got diagnosed with leukemia.

Yeah, well, my husband got diagnosed first.

He got diagnosed with leukemia first, and then you got it as well.

Yeah, so I had breast cancer, um, and then 5 years later we actually lost my nan, my maternal nana, to bowel cancer. And then a month after we lost my nan, my husband went to hospital with suspected kidney stones. And it turned out that he had tumor on his, on his kidney and he had renal cancer. Go back on the roller coaster. Fortunately, he, well, it sounds bad, but fortunately he only lost a kidney. They had to take the entire kidney, but he didn't need any follow-up treatment. He didn't have to have chemotherapy or radiation. And then I suppose I went into a bit of a spin of jealousy and I hated that I was jealous of my husband that he didn't have to do that. Like I, I used to sit there and think, wow, how lucky are you? I lost a breath. I had to go through chemo. I had to go through radiation. I had the works absolutely thrown at me. And then he went into hospital and had a kidney out. You know, of course he had some, a long way to go after that. But it's sort of the point where I realized that I wasn't okay and I hadn't dealt with what I had been through. I just sort of put a mask on, built a little wall around myself, showed on the outside that I was fine. And it wasn't until he got diagnosed and I realized that I wasn't fine. And I needed to do a bit of work on myself and and deal with what I had been through.

What sort of? And when you say you did a bit of work, is what I'm curious about. Other people who are going through the same or similar to yourself, what sort of work did you do?

I actually went and saw a psychologist, which I had been offered numerous times during treatment, and I just now I'm okay, I'm good. But I lent on my husband Bob a hell of a lot. I think when I worked out that I needed to get some help, I hated feeling the jealousy towards him, but I also tried to protect. him and not offload on him. And I suppose the anger was still there, like I'd only just pushed it down and hidden it, and then it was making its— gracing me with its presence yet again. So I went to see a psychologist. I, I got into the gym. I just— some exercise. I, I looked after myself instead of— I put myself first instead of hiding and showing that I was okay when I wasn't okay. But it was The best thing I could have done was put myself back together and not lean as hard on my husband. And I think watching him go through his, you know, deal with, with cancer, I realized how much he had gone through with mine. So seeing the carer side to the patient side, it made my eyes wide open that it's not easy. It's really hard being a carer and sitting next to the person that you love and being completely out of control. You're not able to do anything except for Love them, hold them up, and care for them.

That is challenging because our natural instinct is to do something to fix it, to help, to— and when you— so the carer can actually feel as powerless as the patient feels with the condition that they're dealing with.

Yeah.

I want to touch on the point that you said before about you actually put yourself first. So prior to finding the lump in your breast, etc., was that part of your personality where you never put yourself First?

Um, yep. I was the fixer and I just—

The giver and—

Yeah. I just went into fix-it mode. Being the hairdresser, I did everything for everybody else. Like I was, I loved my job. I loved making people feel good about themselves. And the same with my children. Like it was my number one job and it still is. My number one job is to be a mum and that was my biggest dream. And I put everything into my children. I was that mum that dropped them off at kindy and picked them up, or I was working at school and Doing the hot lunches, and I'm a giver, like I love to give. Yeah, I, I wasn't taking care of myself. I wasn't putting myself first and realizing that, you know, your body is your temple. And I think I was angry at my body for letting me down.

When I've interviewed other people who have experienced cancer or something like that, that is a common thing that they talk about, that they're so angry that, you know, why them and why did their body do this. In the middle of your treatment now, was it breast The breast cancer, or was it the leukemia? On top of everything, you ended up having a stroke. I mean, what else could possibly have happened? Honestly, it's not funny, but it's like, it's unimaginable. Did there come a point where you actually thought, I just can't take this anymore?

Yeah, I did. When I was going through breast cancer, I was just head down, bum up. I was fighting this. I was. And I think the anger was what drove me to fight. And then when Bob got diagnosed, it was I went into the fix-it mode again. I was in head down, bum up, and let's go, we're gonna get this again. And then 15 years after my first diagnosis, I was tired, as all mothers are, and working and, and whatnot. And I actually woke up with a really sore shoulder one morning. And for me to ask to go to the hospital, my husband knew that she's in pain, there's something definitely wrong. And I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Uh, and we got on that rollercoaster yet again. But this time I had to go to Melbourne for treatment. I couldn't have my treatment here in Ballarat. I literally had to leave my life behind, and that being my children, my work, my tribe, as I call them, my family, my friends, my support network. And it was Bob and I. That was it. We were in Melbourne and, and I just had to fight. And I think it was probably a week or two when I was in, in the hospital. I was in hospital continuously for a good 4 to 6 weeks. And I sort of, I was still in disbelief that we were even doing this again. And instead of head down, bum up, it was head was down. I was just, you know, Bob's got a saying and I always say this. I wanted to punch him every time he'd say it to me. One day at a time. That's all we could take was one day at a time, because if I got too far ahead, it just all snowballed and it was too much. But I had a chemotherapy and, you know, knocks you about a fair bit. It was brutal this time around, but I had the stroke. I woke up one morning and I couldn't put my pants on. I couldn't put my arm in my dressing gown. I couldn't even sit on a chair. I knew that I had to sit, but I just couldn't work out how to actually do it to sit down. And I think that was the point that Bob said, oh, we need to go to the hospital. Something's not right. Anyway, they did a barrage of tests and I'd had blood clots in my lungs. And one of those blood clots made it to my brain and caused a bleed. So I had a stroke at 42. And it was at that stage that I just, I really buried my head. The head was In the sand. And that was a point that I just went, come on, what else can you throw at me? Um, I fought so hard with breast cancer. We fought through renal cancer. Okay, I've got leukemia and I'm fighting again. This isn't fair. A stroke? Come on.

That's just a step too far.

I lost all, um, hope at that stage. And that's when I, I got in a pretty dark place. It was, yeah, I just, I didn't know how to keep putting that one foot in front of the other. I was just, I was fractured. I, there was cracks that, that were pretty dark. Yeah. I just didn't know how to move forward. It was Bob sitting beside me yet again saying, just one day, we just need to take one day at a time.

I can't even imagine what that would've been like to go through. So you actually had the, did you have the stroke in your sleep?

I actually don't know. I think I'm thinking back now, it probably happened a couple of days before we actually realized something wasn't right. The chemo that I was on, it really wiped me out. So yeah, I was sleeping a lot, but there was things like, you know, I'd, I'd get up to go to the toilet, and I had to hold on to the walls as I was walking into the ensuite. I couldn't rip the toilet paper off. I had to like take the entire roll and just wrap it around my hand and just pull. I couldn't put together that I had to use my hand to, to rip the paper. I'd pick up my phone. I thought my phone was broken, but it was me that was broken. And I kept turning my phone off thinking it just needs to reset because it's not working. Like it's something wrong. There's like Bugs in my phone. But thinking back now, I'd had a stroke. These simple everyday things that I did, I couldn't do. But yeah, I had what they call apraxia and it just, everything was backwards. It was like somebody had twisted me, took me off the earth and twisted me around and put me back and everything was back to front. So I did, when you think of stroke, you think of, you know, a droopy face or you've lost your, your speech. Luckily I didn't have that. Yes, the words escaped me. They still do. Um, it's like, you know, the— it's on the tip of my tongue, but you can't get it out. It was very frustrating. My left side went quite weak. Um, my hand just did whatever it wanted. But yeah, I had to learn how to use a knife and fork. I had to learn how to walk without, you know, swaying from side to side. My balance was off. I had to learn how to put my clothes back on properly.

What sort of therapies were you given to bring To start correcting what was happening?

Um, I had to do repetitive things. I would go to, you know, rehab here. I'd do some exercise. It was things like riding an exercise bike. Um, and I started off at 6 minutes. And before all this happened, you know, I was going to the gym daily. I was, you know, I could walk on a track, I could run, I could, you know, lift weights and things like that. And then I've gone to rehab with, I suppose you go back to the whole Breast cancer thing, it's been an old person thing. When I was in rehab, I'm in rehab with older people. So you have to like come to terms with the fact that here I am, 42, 43 at the time, and I'm in rehab. So yeah, it was repetitive things. I took up knitting so my hands could do the same thing at the same time. I'm doing up buttons on my shirt. I do them up and undo them again. Repetitive things to train my brain again that that's how you do things.

How long did that take?

I'm still doing it.

Oh, you're still doing it? Your top's on the right way today.

Yeah, yeah, there's no tags. Um, yes, yeah, no, it's still, it's, it's still an ongoing thing. I go to the gym daily, I walk on the treadmill daily. I still, you know, if I get tired, if I get run down, my left side of my body sort of, I call it a bit behind the 8-ball, it sort of slows down. It definitely gives me the heads up that Yeah, you need to stop. You need to pace yourself. I'm not good at pacing myself. It was just starting over again, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse. So I'm very, very grateful that it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

I think you're just incredible, really. Able people— put my hand up as well— find the motivation to go to the gym and exercise and, you know, outside of work and family and everything else. Hard enough, and you're doing it after 2 cancers and a stroke.

I get told that regularly, but I look at it this way of, trust me, I lie in bed of a morning and go, I don't want to get out. I'd rather stay here. But I'm very aware that the leukemia that I had, it's a sneaky one. It likes to come back. At the moment, I have no evidence of disease. I'm in remission, but I'm very aware that that could change at any moment, and I want to be the healthiest and fittest that I can be, because if it comes back, I'm going again. Yeah, you know, I'm not going to lie down and go, oh God, here we go again, this is it, it's going to get me this time. Nope, I'm gonna fight. So I want to be the fittest and healthiest that I can be to take it on.

I am fascinated, fascinated by how do you manage your mindset with everything you've gone through, and how important is A positive, not just a positive, but a resilient and courageous mindset like you obviously have to cope with your healing and your recovery?

It's a daily thing. It's hard. Like of late, you know, just releasing my book, it's, it's my story. It's, and I know it's going to help people, but it's really scary to bare your soul and put it out there into the world. And it's, I've got to be in a positive mindset that it's going to help others. But oh God, I suffer from imposter syndrome like you wouldn't believe. I always try and find a positive and a negative because I can't stay in a negative mindset. I know what that feels like after having the stroke and being in hospital for so long and those 4 walls start talking to you and silence is my worst enemy. But yeah, I, I just have to put things into place every day. If I didn't go to the gym, then I do feel crappy. If I, but music plays a massive part in my life. Whether it be on the treadmill, whether I get in the car, music is on because I believe it honestly sets, sets your day, your day up. I go to sleep still, you're going to think I'm crazy. I still go to sleep with the television on and I put it on a timer to go off because I slept in the hospital with the television on because if I didn't, then those dark thoughts came into my mind and I was, you know, I think I was dying and I'm not going to get through this. I'm not going to get to the other side. And And that was just— the television was my friend. It was my, my light in the, in the really, really crappy dark moments. And I suppose, you know, still going to, to sleep with the television on now, it just, it stops my mind. Like, I don't allow my mind to get too far ahead. And I suppose that goes back to Bob always saying, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. I can't control what's going to happen tomorrow, what's going to happen in the future, so I can't allow my my mind to go there because I can't control everything. And coming from a previous perfectionist, I've just had to let that go. And you know, it's the same as when I said the imposter syndrome. There's always going to be haters. There's always going to be people that don't like my book or don't agree with something that I've written. And it's not that I'm telling everybody how to beat cancer because I have not got all the answers and everybody's journey is different. And I'm not telling people how to do that. I'm just sharing my story. How I did it, what happened to me, and how I've got to the other side, and, and how now I deal with things.

You use TV of music. So would you recommend, and is that something you talk about in your book, for people to find— like when people are saying, when people say, oh, just stay positive, and you really want to be angry, would you recommend that someone sort of stay in a more positive mindset or find possibilities or, or situations that work well for them as opposed to going down the rabbit hole of anxiety, to find like one thing that they love or one thing that suits them to be able to bring them back into the moment.

My biggest piece of advice to anybody would be to acknowledge what you're feeling first. If you're feeling anxious, acknowledge it. If you've got cancer, acknowledge it. Talk about it because we don't talk about cancer enough. It's literally the big C and everybody pushes it under the carpet because it's an awkward conversation. No one wants to talk about cancer. Because, you know, people on the outside don't know what to say. They're worried about, you know, saying the wrong thing and upsetting that person. And then that person that's actually going through it, it's awkward for them because, you know, you get, oh, I'm sorry. It's like, well, what are you sorry about? It's not your fault that I've got cancer. But then, you know, you want to acknowledge that they acknowledge that you're there. So it's an awkward thing. It's an awkward conversation. So acknowledgement is my number one thing.

Yeah.

Of what you're feeling and talk about it. And that's why I write. I started writing so I didn't have to offload on Bob so much. I was trying to protect him from everything, but it was helping me get it out, get it off my chest. And I never in a million years thought I'd be a published author. You know, it's— that's what helped me. And that's what, you know, music does for me.

Talking to other people, going and seeing a psychologist, just acknowledgement for starters is I suppose, like, you're, you're an author, but other people could do a lot more simply, like journal or write things out and then screw it up and throw it away, or just to get those emotions out. What has cancer now taught you about, like, fear and uncertainty in life?

Yeah, that's a big one. My biggest thing again is accepting I can't control What's going to happen. So I do just have to go with it. I have fear every single day. I used to say I would be absolutely gutted if I heard again that you've got cancer. And I suppose the most surprising thing for me was when I got diagnosed with leukemia, I thought I was having a heart attack. I thought the, the pain in my shoulder was— I was having a heart attack, hence why I, you know, got to the hospital. But when they sat next to me, the doctor sat next to me and she said, oh, we've found some concerning results. And I said, oh, it's back, isn't it? And I just felt at ease. It was a very weird feeling of, okay, I knew this day was coming. And she said, what are you talking about? And I said, I've had breast cancer. And she said, sweetheart, you've got leukemia. And I wasn't angry. I was not angry. I wasn't even upset. That came later. I was just in disbelief. I just could not believe that I was in that position Again. So the fear that I felt so greatly beforehand about hearing it again, when I heard it, it was almost like I was at peace with it. It was weird. It was a very weird feeling. And I think because I didn't have the anger that pushed me the first time around, I was scared. I was really scared because I didn't have that anger and that determination at the beginning to fight. I just sort of laid down and went, okay, here we go. So yeah, it was a very weird feeling, but look, I'm very fearful of having to do it again. But at the same time, I've accepted the fact that it's most likely going to happen. So one day at a time, Kate. That's all I keep saying. And, and I choose how I play that now.

Mm.

Instead of living in the fear, instead of letting anxiety take over, instead of putting on that mask and pretending that I'm okay, if I'm not, I actually say, okay, I need some help. I give in here. I need to stop. I need to. Do this. I choose now. And I like that, you know, that's what I've— I preach it to my girls all the time. You know, they're 21 and 19 now, and my 19-year-old actually went and got a tattoo, you little bugger, on her wrist, and it says, you choose.

Oh.

Because I keep saying to them, you choose how this goes. You choose to allow the anger, the anxiety, the fear to take over, or I choose to put one foot in front of the other. Take each day at a time and live each day the best that I possibly can because tomorrow is not promised.

That is, you know, that is an incredibly powerful life lesson and incredible message for your girls to grow up with. You know, that is fantastic because, you know, society is just rigged with uncertainty and anxiety and people not knowing what to do. And I love your life motto, you know, one One foot at a time, or one step at a time. That just means take it, be in, be present, be in the now.

Absolutely. Be present, but don't ever forget to dream big. You never know where those dreams might take you, and you never know what tomorrow holds. So hello, I'm a published author.

It was never on the agenda, was it?

It was never on the agenda. I was, uh, I was getting married, I was having babies, and I was gonna be a hairdresser. That were the 3 I did them all by the time I was 24, and by the time I was 27, life just threw me the biggest curveball. But it was the best lesson, and I've learned how to, how to live life, how to love life, and how precious it is. If I could bottle it up and give everybody a little sprinkling of— I call it the kick in the head— the world would be such a nicer, happier, kinder place.

You only come to those realizations when you think you're about to lose it.

Correct.

You know, otherwise it's We take advantage, and we take advantage of this glorious life that we have. I guess in many ways we don't, uh, respect it or make the most of it, and we focus on things that aren't necessary or negative. So what does a good day look like for Kate now compared to before?

No fear, no anxiety.

Oh, how many people would put their hand up for that, but not have to go through what you went through.

No, look, a good day is, you know, I've slept all night for starters. Just, you know, getting up, sticking to my normal routine, spending it, you know, with my husband and enjoying, enjoying every, you know, good coffee. Um, just no, no hassle. No, just living the simple life.

It sounds like you've got your priorities right. Priorities are your family, your health, Their health, living, like you said, living a simple life, not stressing over things that—

No, stress is the biggest killer out. So yeah, I can't, I can't. And like I touched on it, like putting this book out there, it's been, it's been amazing, but it's been stressful at the same time. And, and I actually just said to my husband, I'd just be really nice for somebody just to give me a couple of nights in a really posh hotel, a couple of tickets to a show, go for a shopping spree, just Forget the noise that's going on around me and just chill out and take some cake time. And he just went, go and do it.

Then do. Don't let him say it twice.

Just act on that. So yeah, but I, I know by putting my story out there, like, you never know who needs to hear it.

Absolutely. Well, that's right. That's, that's why I like to share these stories, because someone may take just a snippet or a little golden nugget of something you've said. That will help them. So what do you hope someone facing cancer will take away from your book, Angry, Grateful, and Still Alive?

To understand that it's okay to have all of those feelings. It's okay to feel scared. You don't always have to be brave. You can let your walls down, go through it and live it, but don't let it define you. Cancer is not your entire story. I say now that, you know, it's, it's a fair few chapters of my story. You know, a friend called me Cancer Kate once, and I went, whoa. It sort of took the wind out of my sails. But when I sat back and I thought about it and sat with it, I am. I am Cancer Kate. Like, that has been my life for the last 17 years, has been cancer. But it's made me who I am. It's made me look at life the way that I do now. So I'm okay being Cancer Kate, because if it wasn't for cancer, I wouldn't be the person that I am now, and I wouldn't be living life to the fullest like I do now. So, yes.

Yeah, it's giving you— it's giving you something you would never have had before.

I'm grateful for life.

Well, that's— and I think that is amazing. Kate, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your story. You are an incredible human being.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you for allowing me to share your story. It is very powerful.

Thank you. I just hope it helps, you know, one person out there. Like I said, you never know who might need to hear it, but if it gives you just a little bit of razz to keep going, then dream big, never give up.

I'm sure it will. And for everybody listening, if you've loved listening to Kate, go to the show notes because her details will be there, her website, you'll be able to order the book. Thanks for coming on.

Thank you so much for having me.