3 Secrets From Psychology That Make People Respect You

Leaders anticipate, losers react. What is the number one factor between success and failure for most people? I would suggest to you is their energy. Low energy equals low results. I don't care who it is. High energy, you will keep pushing through till you find the result. There's 3 skills to master if you want to do well in any market, if you want to change your financial world, if you want to change your relationship. First fundamental, master to master your life is you have to become very good at recognizing patterns. If you recognize patterns, you will not be fearful anymore. When you know what patterns are, your fear disappears. Things become predictable. What gives you the advantage in life? What's the biggest advantage? Anticipation. Anticipation is the ultimate power. If you can anticipate where things are going, if you can anticipate what's happening in the market, if you can anticipate what's going on in your relationship, you're going to do really well. How many of you have ever played a video game against a child? Why are they so superior to you in these games? Is it because they're younger, smarter, faster? No! It's because they played this game before. Anticipation is power. See, they go and you're reacting. They know the first bad guy's on the left because they played it so many times. Next bad guy's here, next bad guy's here. They know! So there's no fear and there's no reaction and they anticipate. Your greatest gift to yourself would become brilliant at recognizing patterns, because anyone you know that is masterful at something, who's extraordinary, it's because they just see patterns you don't see. You see it as chaos. They see this as, oh, I recognize this pattern. Everything is patterns, and the biggest patterns are you emotionally. There's patterns of what we focus on, patterns of what we feel, patterns of what we do. If somebody is really, let's say, overeating, there's a pattern to it. They don't overeat every moment. They overeat when they get frustrated, frustrated or lonely or bored. There's a pattern. You can change any pattern once you know what it is. But when you think it's random, like, I just can't control myself, it's a problem. Many of us think we are our patterns. Well, it's hard to change yourself, easy to change a pattern. So the first skill to master is recognizing patterns. Second skill is learning to utilize patterns. There's tremendous opportunities in the marketplace. It's during times of the massive pessimism that you earn the most if you can keep your head straight. But you have to recognize the pattern and use it. You know, I used to be frustrated trying to get into some of these, you know, some of the best— there's only a few of the very best in the world— private equity opportunities. And, you know, these guys have produced unbelievable returns. And it's like, you know, my name would get me in, I get a little piece of it, but not a meaningful one. And then I studied and found a pattern of the very best. Now I own 80 different private equity firms, not the fund, I own the firms. I get the 2 and 20 on 80 different ones, some of the biggest on Earth. And once I learned what they're doing, I just did the same thing. But I didn't just recognize it, I used it. But the most powerful thing is when you get to the third stage, and that's what some of you are already doing, or you wouldn't be the best in your business. And that is you start creating patterns. Now you're no longer at the reaction of things at all, or even responding, or just using. Now you're making things happen at the level you want. It's kind of like in the beginning to learn to play piano, you probably play someone else's pattern. Someone has figured it out, and you play enough of those things for enough years with enough emotion, and then one day you wake up and you start playing your own music because you have different level of mastery of those patterns. You start to take your version of that and put it in, and that's the process that we really go through. So once you understand these patterns, you don't have to be fearful about something. You just know what season you're in, what to do. So in order to do that, there are certain patterns that I want to take you through today that can help you maximize your results. Energy is the base of everything, and most of us have very low energy because since COVID our society has changed so much. People don't even want to go to work. And so now the base level of energy in our society is so low. The lower your energy level, the more life looks terrible, the more overwhelmed you get, the more stressed you get. When you're really in a great place, when you have really high energy— our energy affects everything. And most of us, we're like fish in water, we don't notice it. When you're in a high-energy, positive state, do you perform at a higher level or a lower level? Do you treat people better or worse? Do you enjoy your life more or less? So it's intelligent to be in a positive state. You're just afraid of trying and failing. I'm okay with that. I'm not telling you what to do, but how's it working for you so far? How happy are you in this process? Sometimes the most important things we leave out because we're so used to it. It's just like, like I said, like fish in water. But think about that. Energy is actually a habit. You can change your energy in a millisecond with no sleep and with no food, but it requires a demand in your body. You'll discover you feel better and better, and it becomes addictive in a good way. And whatever the season, if you're going to maximize your results, if you're going to maximize your enjoyment, if you're going to maximize your impact, you have to master one skill: the skill of What is the skill of leadership? Influence. What makes somebody a leader is one thing: their ability to influence the thoughts, the feelings, and the actions of another person on a consistent basis. If you're able to do that in a positive way, you're a positive leader. If you do it in a negative way, you're Hitler. Because influence can come for positive or negative purposes, right? But if you and I are going to be people of influence, we have to understand something. We're usually good influencing people who are like who? Ourselves. So here's the problem: most people are only good at influencing people like themselves. You're good with that kid but not so great with the other one. Why? Because in order to influence someone, you need to understand what already influences them. I'll say that again: in order to effectively influence someone, you have to know what already influences them. So we have to understand each person's influence slightly differently. But there are two universal things that influence, and if you know these, you can influence anybody. And what are they? Two forces. Number one is the state that that person is in in that moment in time. The mental emotional state. If somebody's in a pissed off, angry state, are they likely going to behave very different than if they're feeling playful? Of course, you know that. But interestingly enough, if you can get a totally different answer from someone in a totally different state. So the first thing it does, it is states. We want to influence ourselves, we have to change our state quickly. If we want to influence others, change state. I'm going to show you multiple ways to do it. And then long-term, what influences people is what we call their blueprint or their model of the world. That's another way of describing— we all have a set of beliefs, a set of values, a set of expectations about how we should be, about how other people should be, how people should treat us, how we should treat others. What influences people the most? Is it what you say? Is it how you say it? Or is it the state you're in when you say it? When you use more of your creator's gifts, the gifts your creator gave you, you get to experience more of those gifts. It's that simple. If you want more joy, then think about this: you need to do more joy. You don't need to focus on the action. You need to put yourself in a state where that action happens automatically. See, when you're in a certain state, no one has to tell you what to do. It just flows, doesn't it? You have a great computer, you don't have enough electrical power, it's not going to put out what you want. So our state is the most important element. So how do you get in state when you don't feel like it? Or if you feel like it, how do you put yourself in a better state? Focus equals reality to the individual. We don't experience life, so the most important skill in life is controlling your focus. Most decisions, unfortunately, we do habitually. We don't even think consciously about it. But if you want to change your life, you should be conscious of these 3 decisions. Here's the first one. Right now, some part of you is deciding what to focus on. Like I said, there's a million things you can focus on. What you heard earlier, you could be focused on what I'm talking right now, but you're only experiencing what you focus on. But there are patterns of focus. The minute you focus on something, you feel it. And the second thing that happens is you give it a meaning. The minute you focus on something, what does this mean? Is this the end or the beginning? If you think it's the end of a relationship, are you going to behave the same way as you think it's the beginning of a relationship? If you think someone is dissing you or someone is disrespecting you or someone is challenging you, or someone is coaching you, or someone is actually loving on you right now. Meaning equals emotion, emotion equals life. If you think one thing, you're gonna feel one way. Think something else, you'll feel totally different. But your feelings control the third decision. What are you gonna do? Are you gonna smack them? Are you gonna report them? Are you gonna give up? Are you gonna follow through? So these three decisions— what I'm gonna focus on, what does it mean, what I'm gonna do— affect each other. And the meaning one creates the emotion, and the emotion affects what you're gonna do. If you're always focusing on what's missing, how will you ever sustained happiness. It's actually impossible. It's nothing to do with you. It's software that won't produce that. Many overachievers are so focused on getting the result and it's never enough. It's the next result, the next result, because it's never enough. Now I have that overall mindset or attitude, but what I learned was, holy shit, it's like being a hamster on a wheel, right? So if you train yourself to focus first on what you have, it puts you in a state of gratitude, and from that place there's no scarcity and you're able to do more because there's more energy in that state. So you have to train yourself to focus on what you have first, and then you have a short burst of what's missing to focus on what you want to do. If you got nothing and you're grateful, you're rich. If you got a billion dollars and you're angry and frustrated, your life is called angry and frustrated. So it's a pattern, and you can change any pattern you want to change as long as you understand what the triggers are to make it happen. So what I'm suggesting to you is you can change any state by changing your physiology or your focus. How many of you have ever felt sad? Stuck. When it happens, people often get overwhelmed by it, but you can change it very, very quickly when you understand a couple of fundamental things. Now, when people get frustrated or angry, overwhelmed, those states— anger, frustration, etc.— are the ones that usually mess up your business, mess up your relationship. We all get there at times, but the ability to snap out of that is priceless. If you understand what it does to your brain and body, you'll also discover you can not only just snap out of it, you put yourself in a state where everything starts to flow Muy bien.