People build identity around their problems to feel significant, then blame external circumstances to avoid responsibility. The speaker argues that past patterns aren't who you are, and separating your actions from your identity is how you actually change.
A lot of people, their problem becomes an asset because it's a way to be significant. They're not significant in what they've achieved in their life. Listen, we've all fallen short, right? I've certainly fallen short. But if you fall short, and you fall short a bunch of times and you hate feeling that way, it brings up the deepest fear that everyone has. Every human being's deepest fear is they're not enough. And when you feel like you're not enough, it leads to the deeper fear, which is, I won't be loved. So what people do out of fear of not looking like enough is, is they come up with a story about why that's happening. And if you rent space to a problem in your head and you use that to say, well, this is, you know, if it wasn't for this, I'd be where I want to be. It's not that I'm not enough. It's not that I'm worthy of love. It's just I got this big problem. See, if you describe your problem that it's not your fault or it is your fault, but you want people to love on you and reassure you that will not give you the life that you want. You've got to cut a line to the sign. This is not who I am. I may have behaved that way, I may have had that pattern, but that's not who I am. And I'm moving forward. Not my thing. Because then you're going to hang on to it and progress will be not.
Tony Robbins Helps Her Use the Power of Her Own Mind to Manifest A Better Life
