How Your Language Shapes EVERYTHING Around You...

Our words shape the way we think and how we feel. And how we feel determines what we do. And what we do determines whether you get results or not. Watch your language. And that does not mean like, you know, using a word that maybe you're not used to or someone else uses. I want to be more specific when I say watch your language. Our words shape the way we think and how we feel. And how we feel determines what we do. And what we do determines whether you get results or not. So if you and I are going to get results, we have to become aware of language. Remember the triad. There's changing your physiology, there's changing your focus, but then there's being aware that language creates meaning. So if you use certain words, you're going to feel lifted, other ones driven down. And I'm not talking about going to your mirror and chanting, you know, you're good enough, you're strong enough and people really like you. No, I'm talking about being aware that there are certain words that you use, everyone individually uses that put your energy up and some that put it down. Certain words and phrases start to limit you. Certain words and phrases free you. But I don't just mean speaking them, I mean the habit and the pattern of speaking them and communicating them. So if you have emotions you don't like, let's say you get overwhelmed or pissed off or frustrated or sad or whatever, there's a physiology to that. You're focusing on things for that, but you also have some habitual words. Let me tell you how I figured this out. And by the way, I call this transformational vocabulary. Because by transforming the words you use regularly, you literally change your biochemistry, your emotions, your thinking and your actions. But if you're unaware, then these words can take over your life and limit you without even knowing it. So a belief is a set of words we say over and over again to ourselves with so much certainty that we begin to believe it. And then when we look for ways to justify it, and then pretty soon we're stuck. But you can just eliminate the words and start to change. So let me give you an example. Years ago, many, many years ago, 20, 20 plus years ago, maybe 25 years ago, I was in a business relationship with two partners. And they were both very dynamic people. One was a super wealthy guy and really, really smart, really centered guy. And the other guy was a really passionate man, really driven. I really liked him and he just like he give everything to whatever he did to. One day we were in a negotiation with a company, if we made the deal, it would be really good for them and really good for us. And I'm. This probably 30 years ago. I'm. I'm young, in business, and I'm a giver. So, like, I love to give. You know, I'm not stupid, but, you know, it's like, I'm happy to give you more of what you want if together we can do something bigger, make a bigger pie, right? So I speak up in the middle of a negotiation, and I put all the cards on the table, and one of my partners looks at me like, can't believe I'm doing this. And I say, look, guys, here's our costs. Here's where things are. This is what we want to do with you guys. Here's the full open, you know, kimono. Let's do a deal that's fair for each other. And I laid the whole thing out thinking that by being open and honest in every way, we could find something that was a win win. And the people we're dealing with didn't play win win, they played win lose. And they took the information I had and they twisted it, and then they started to use it against us. It was really, really infuriating. It was really terrible. And it showed such bad faith. And we were caught up in the middle. Now it looked like we could get hurt even if we didn't do the deal, because the information I'd given him. So I screwed up. My fault. Just thinking, being honest and open, let's get to the answer quicker. Let's not play games and circle and negotiate. Let's just put it on the table and find a great way to play. Well, when it was used against us, I got really angry, right? Really angry. I mean, I was off angry. I was mad as hell. And then I noticed, though, because I was in the middle of it, I couldn't help it, that one of my partners, the ones really passionate guy, he was insane. He was like, these people, I can't believe this. He goes, I feel like I'm like. But they're like murdering our child. He goes. He just went on and on. He goes, I'm enraged. I'm this. I'm furious. And I was really mad, but he was so crazy. But I was like, calm down, dude. It's not that bad. Right in the middle of calming him down, though, you know, because my brain's always noticing patterns. It's just how I work, right? I noticed my other partner didn't even seem to be upset. And it kind of me off a little bit that he Wasn't off. You know, it's like. So I remember saying to him, I said, like, don't you. You don't seem to. Seem to be upset. I mean, don't you know what they just did? Don't you see what they're doing? He's like, yeah, we got to stop. I mean, I was like, they're murdering our child. They're murdering our business. I'm enraged. I'm like, calm down. Calm down. And he says to me, he goes, well, yeah. He goes, I'm a little peeved. And when he said peeved, I said, peeved. I've never even heard somebody use that word peeved. You're peeved? Yeah, I'm a little. I don't know. I'm a little annoyed. Annoyed. Even the word annoy sounds like you're annoyed. Me, annoyed. I'm peeving annoyed. And I looked at him like he was crazy, but I could see he really wasn't that upset. I started to think for a moment. I go, you know, I don't think I've ever seen you really upset. He goes, I rarely get really upset. I said, what about that time when the irs. There was a friend of mine is very wealthy, and the IRS is a great organization, but like any organization, you have different people. And there was a guy that, when he came and saw his home and the way he lived, he just tried to destroy my friend. And he did. A bunch of things weren't right. My friend actually won in court after two years. All things this guy did were incorrect and wrong. He won, but it took him two years, a lot of money, a lot of time. I said, and didn't that you off? Because that's what I would have felt, right? But then it make you mad as hell. He goes, I'm going to kill them. I'm enraged. I said, it's not even you. Calm down. And he goes, well, no. He goes, you know, I was really, you know, annoyed and maybe a little tinkled. He literally said tinkled. That's even worse than annoyed. Although annoyed sounds worse. Tinkled. Peeved. Annoyed. And he smiled, and I saw it was sincere. And so this thing went through my head. We all have the same event, right? We're all going to be equally affected by this in a very negative way. I'm mad as hell. I'm ed off. I'm angry. He's furious, enraged, want to kill somebody. And he's peeved, annoyed and tinkled. I thought to myself, and I remember asking him, I said, well, why don't you ever get upset? He said, because if you get upset, the other guy wins, and he's really competitive. And now I understood. I remember in the moment going, there is a lesson from the universe. There's a lesson from God here right now, I get pissed off a lot. At that time in my life, I thought, I get really mad a lot. Do you know why? Because anything that was really irritating, the three words I would use most often is mad as hell, angry, or pissed off. It usually started with pissed off. And my other buddies gets really angry a lot because when anything bad happens, the words he uses are more intense, enraged, furious. And my buddy here, he's like, right in the center of it all, and he's peeved, annoyed, and tinkled. And I began to realize my vocabulary. The words I used when I was most upset were creating my biochemistry. And so I decided to use my buddy's words. And it was so stupid. I go, this really tingles me, right? I was so stupid, it made me laugh. I went from thaw to laughing. So it's like, wow. I began to realize, the words that you link to your experiences in life become your experiences. The words you link to your experiences change your biochemistry. And if you change your vocabulary, you will change your life. I just showed it to you with good. It might be time for you to discover what are some of the words you use to put you in a lowered state, and what's an alternative word that would make you laugh or make you smile or at least soften it? Because if you watch your language, if you change that language, you'll change everything.