The #1 Secret to Lasting Happiness (It's Not What You Think...)

People ask me all the time, what is the secret to happiness? You've been around the earth, you've met so many people, so many cultures. And the answer is one word: progress. Progress equals happiness, period. Because getting what you want only feels good for a period of time. How many have gotten something you worked your ass off for, and after you got it went, is this all there is? Who's done this before? Say aye. That's the worst thing, right? Worse than failing, isn't it? Because most of you in this room, like me, I'm sure if you fail, you pick yourself up and try something else. You don't give up. You'll eventually get there. But if You succeed and you're unhappy. Now you're what I call technically screwed. But here's one. Do you remember a time when you got something you worked your ass off for and you were thrilled? How long did that feeling last? 2 years? 10? A year? 6 months? 6 weeks? 6 days? 6 hours? 6 minutes? So even when you get what you want, the feeling doesn't last. How's that for an uplifting thought? What you gotta understand is, 'cause it's not about the getting. What you get doesn't make you happy. Who you become That's what makes you really happy or really sad. And your destiny is who you're going to become. Your destiny is what are you going to do and give in this lifetime. Your destiny is going to be the evolution of your soul. That's what you get to take with you, in my opinion. It's purely opinion. I have no clue what happens after this. I just know nothing in the universe ever gets destroyed. It always just changes form. So whatever the next adventure is we're called to at the end of this one, I don't know what that looks like. I'm sure all you have different points of view, and I respect all of them. Whatever it is, I think you should practice it and believe in it. But I do know that there's always a call to grow. And if you do that this next week, you will be out of your mind, because the real purpose of life is to grow. And when you grow, you have something to give, and that's when life is meaningful. So what I want you to get though is that's why we're here. We're here to grow. And once we grow, we have something to give. And we have something to give, our life feels meaningful. As long as you're focused on yourself, you will suffer. Suffering comes from focusing on yourself. And yet There's a stage of life you need to do that all the time. That's a baby. That's why we're here to take care of them. But some people have the same pattern when they're 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80, and they're wondering why they're so miserable. Because you can't be upset unless you're focusing on yourself. And when I say suffer, you could be upset, but you're not going to stay there. A woman said to me, no, no, I'm suffering because my daughter is not doing well. My son's not doing well in school. No, no, you're not suffering because that— you're suffering because you think you failed your daughter or son. Or you think that they make people think of you differently. It's about you. Because if it was just they weren't doing in school, you'd be focused on how to get them to do better in school. There would be no suffering. So if you want freedom, we're going to focus on you to build a system so you can let go and focus on the things that matter most, that allow you to continuously grow, not be pulled back by limiting values or conflicting values or conflicting beliefs. And you'll know how to rewire them if they show up for the future. Because in essence, we want to make sure you can win in any season. And you can. And by the way, not only think about the seasons of nature, but think of the seasons of your life. There's 4 seasons of your life. Capture this in your mind for a moment. The first season is springtime, birth to about 19, 20, 21 years old. Now everyone's different. Some of us went to work at 14 years old, had to support our family. I know, I understand that. But overall, that first season's pretty easy. You grow how easily when you're a kid? How fast do you learn? It's like, that's, it's osmosis. It happens just like plants growing. It's effortless. And someone's looking out for you. Now you may say, no one looked out for me. If you're alive, someone looked out for you. Someone loved you. What is love? Love is when you put someone else above yourself. When you love someone so much that you'll give them more than yourself. Most of us have done that with our children. When that happens, it makes you grow. Life's about more than you again. That's why becoming a parent can be such a transformational experience for many people. Not all, some still stay stuck in their head. But just think about it, growing is easy in that stage. And in that stage, you're pretty much looked out for. Someone's protecting you, someone's providing you food and shelter and so forth. By the way, this— each season has benefits and has limitations. And in that first season, you're taken care of, you're told what to believe, you're told what to think, you're told what to value, you're pushed to be a certain way, aren't you? But somewhere in that 18, 19, 20, 21 range, we usually come of age and enter a new season— summertime. When you enter that stage of 22 to 42, that's when the testing begins. That's when you come and say, "I was taught all this, but what do I believe? I don't know if that's really true. Let me test this out." Now, in this stage, when you enter summer, you are the soldier of society. And literally, if there's a war, you're the ones going to war. They don't send the 5-year-olds and they don't send the 70-year-olds. It's that specific season of 22 to 42 that's primarily sent there. That's who goes to fight the war. And that's who fights the war in business. You're the soldier. Today, people think they should already be the general. It's a wild thing. Somewhere along the way, we got our kids to believe things that have nothing to do with reality. Part of it's not their fault, it's just everything has been instantly easy for them because they have something in their hands that can give them the answer to any question and give them most things for free. It's a different mindset. But understand, that season you think you're invincible. How many remember what you're like 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, if you're not there now? How many thought you were invincible? You're going to crush the universe, you were going to do everything, you're going to be president of the United States, you're going to be a multi-billionaire, you're going to have 100 relationships simultaneously and everyone's going to be happy. By the way, if you want to know if you're in that season, all the studies show that's the most unhappy segment of life for most people. That's the unhappy stage because you don't know who you are. You're trying to prove to yourself as well as to others who you are, and you're learning. Let's be honest, you're first learning and you're testing, you're figuring out what you really believe. Then the next season, you get there, 43. To 63. That's an amazing season because if you worked hard in the springtime and you planted, you're going to be reaping in the fall. If you didn't do your job in the first two seasons, you're going to be weeping in the fall, whether it's taking care of your body or your finances, your career, or whatever. But in that season, once you get to that 43 to 63, that is the power period of your time. That's when all of a sudden all the life experiences you've accumulated— you can do more with your pinky than when you work 20 hours a day because you know the right people, you know the right places, you have the relationships, you have the capital resources. If you're in business, you just know if you did well in the earlier seasons, if you worked hard. If you didn't, or if you didn't take care of your health, it could be a really tough time. They say midlife is the day that you think to yourself for the first time, there may be more days behind me than ahead of me. For some people, that's 30, they start thinking that way. Some 40, some 50, some 70. If you're 70, you think that's halfway? That's pretty awesome. That's 140, just so you know. But the bottom line is, that's what makes life so beautiful, is its scarcity. If there was no scarcity to life, you'd take it for granted like you do the other things in your life that are there all the time. Because there's a law called the Law of Familiarity. It's what really messes up people's relationships. It's what messes up their life. It simply says if you're around anything enough or anyone enough, you begin to take it a little bit for granted, or them a little bit for granted, including yourself. And then finally, 64 to 84 to 104 to 120. The oldest living humans are 120. And winter's gonna be a beautiful stage. That's when things slow down just a little bit physiologically. That's when the body starts to descend and the spirit starts to ascend. And that's when you become a leader of society because you know who the fuck you are. You're not trying to prove shit to anybody. You don't quite give a fuck what they think. It's not that you don't care, it's just that you know who you are. Sure, you'd like people to understand, but if they don't, you're not going to sit and spend hours trying to convince them, because life is too short. You know who you are and you have a different experience. So you really want to be a mentor. You want to be somebody who can help. Your life really becomes completely about service. Now, that can happen much earlier. The earlier it happens, the easier it is, because the fastest way to stop suffering is to stop focusing on yourself and focus on something else you care about more than yourself. Yourself, whether it's your kids, your family, your community, your business, a nonprofit, something that you care about more than yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Tony Robbins! I've never been a motivator. I hate that term. I've never used it because it's like they see me producing energy. And of course you need energy, high energy. You need to be inspired. Inspired means in spirit. If you're not inspired, you're dead inside. But if all you are is inspired with no strategy, you're like a chicken with your head cut off. So we need both. So I've always been a strategist. But what I can tell you along the way here is each of these seasons offer you a different form of inspiration, a different opportunity in your life. By the way, I'm going to be 64 in a couple months. I just— it blows my mind. It blows my mind. But it's the happiest time of my entire life. And if you had told me, A, I'd ever be 60, because that's hard to even imagine when you're 30 or 40 or 50, that I'd be 60 or 64 and then it would be the happiest time of my life, I wouldn't have believed it. I have a bunch of friends that are 80, 81 years old that are vibrant, strong, extraordinary human beings. And I look at them now and I've always learned from them along the way and seeing the pathway, seeing what's there, what's coming. But we all talk about it's the happiest stage of life if you took care of your health, and if you've been on top of continually growing in your business or your career, it's the greatest time. It's not something to fear, it's something to look forward to. But you don't have to wait to that stage to have the most extraordinary life.