The 3 Levels of Happiness (and Why MOST Stay Stuck On Level 1)

The reason that you're the best in the world at something is because you're practicing 500 times a day at something you already know. That's what Steph Curry does every single day, seven days a week, 2.5 million practice shots in his 15 year career. So he can make 3200 shots inning games. In the same 15 years, not even 1/10 of 1% of shots were anything but practice. So we don't put much practice in being happy. We don't really focus on the skills to be happy or refine our philosophy. And that's why we're going to immerse ourselves in it this week. And we should have a blast doing it and explore. And when you're not happy, it'll be like, that's interesting. What am I allowing to trigger that? Because I'm in control and like, I got a dozen or so tools here. Which one do I want to use? Because you'll hear many tools here. Some you'll gravitate more than others and you can pick whichever ones you want and throw away the rest, but you should have a large list of them. So it's really easy when you get caught up in something to get out of it. Who's up for that? Right? And so that's part of the process of what we see happening going on this journey. And to help you with this, think of it just for a second as maybe three kinds of happiness. And so you can kind of see how you've navigated the happiness journey. First kind of happiness you could call rock star happiness. What makes a rock star happy? Getting what they want. Getting whatever they want they can get. It doesn't matter. There's no limits. They can do whatever they want to do. They get to have it. So rock star over here on the right is just like pleasure. And there's nothing wrong with rock star rockstar happiness. Except what's the downside of rockstar happiness? What if you don't achieve it? Or what if it takes longer than you think it should? Or what if it doesn't last? Which it doesn't. Right. So think of it as like, pleasure is in the body, happiness is in the mind, joy is in the spirit. Right. Different places, even within you. Right. So rockstar happiness is really about pleasure. It's getting that pleasure. There's nothing wrong with it. I've certainly lived it and I know many of you have. Many of us in the room have achieved enormous amounts, but it doesn't have sustainability. And if you have this thing you want and you don't get it. Which, by the way, sometimes not getting what you want is what makes you grow and then get what you really need. Who knows what I'm talking about here, right? So it's like, if this is our only way of getting happiness, we got some real challenges. Now, a powerful additional way on the left is passion or flow. Passion or flow. Happiness is. You know what it's like you get involved in something and you're so immersed in it that time disappears, everything else disappears, and you're just filled up. Who has an activity that you get involved in where you get in that flow and everything disappears and you really enjoy it. What would be an example for you there? What is it? Dancing does it for her. Because when you're dancing, you disappear. When you're really dancing, not when you're dancing for someone or trying to dance, but when you're just flowing. What was yours, hugging your children? Somebody else? Yes. Playing golf? Yes. Martial arts. Some people, the thing you picked would make them happy. Like, playing golf for some people makes them unhappy. And yet they do it regularly. It's like, I remember when I first started playing golf, and we don't play very much, and we play like five holes, six holes, like three or four times a year. And then I met this man I'll never forget, and he said, I want you to come play golf with me and only play three or four times. Well, we don't have to play all 18 holes. I said, really? I said, but still, I don't want to hold you up. He goes, well, we don't keep score. So you don't keep score. Like, how do you play golf? He goes, we just hit it till we like the ball. And he goes like, what's your favorite part of a golf course? Well, I said, like the ocean. He goes, well, there's six ocean holes. Why would you do the six ocean holes? And here's how we'll play. We'll just go play and enjoy ourselves. He goes, that's the purpose, is to enjoy yourself. This is new for me. So I went out with him, right? And I didn't play well at all, but I had a blast. That's it. Golf's a fucking great game when you play it that way. It really is. And so now then, I create a new rule. My only rule was, I'm gonna enjoy every hole. And the way I enjoy it is I enjoy who I'm with. I enjoy the beauty of the environment. And if I'm fortunate, I enjoy where the ball goes, right? And so that allows me to play with anyone and have a great time. Where are your rules getting in the way of your happiness? Where do you have rules that you've accepted from other people and made your own, but they're really not your own? They're just inherited? Or you modeled them, and did you model them from someone who was extraordinarily happy? Because tell me this, somebody that is totally wealthy, somebody has all the finances in the world, say they have a billion dollars, and every day they're pissed off and frustrated. What quality of life do they have? Pissed off and frustrated? Right. And I gotta tell you, when I did Money Master the game, I interviewed 50 of these billionaires, and about a dozen, maybe 13 of them become good friends. Out of those 12 or 13, you know, I spent some time more than others. But I could tell you, honestly, I'm not perfect in my judgment. But I'd say there's three that are happy. And it's not because of the money. Money, again, doesn't change you. It just. It magnifies. If you're a happy person, you're more happy. If you're a giving person, you got more to give. If you're a mean person, you got more to take. So we have to decide what the rules of the game are. Your core beliefs, your core rules are the only thing keeping from being happy as much as you can possibly be. It's nothing but a set of beliefs.

It's the gift of what you do that you experience transcendence. Yeah. How beautiful. Because when that happens, magic happens. And honestly, what physician would you want to go to to actually operate on your brain? If you have an aneurysm? It's somebody that has such a passion, they have such a love for what they do, and so connected to it that it brings them joy. I just found that to be so stunning. And I think it's such an extraordinary thing when we find and we connect to the outlet that we're able to share our gifts. And when those two connect, beautiful things happen, because then you're going to work and you're falling in love. Because it's a beautiful expression. It's a way that you get to share the gifts that you've. Because in order to experience happiness, there's love associated to it. You love what you do. You feel called. You know, it's what you were born to do.

You know, none of us have to be here. We all chose to be here. And what Sage just described is the third level of happiness, which is it's one Thing to have rockstar happiness. I get what I want and I'm thrilled, right? But if I don't, I'm unhappy, right? And that's what rock stars like. I'll break shit and everything else and get by with it. Second approach to that is I'm in the flow. So I'm doing something that I love to do and I'm there. Third level, though, is I'm in the flow. But it's my mission, it's my purpose, which means it's to serve. It's serving something more than me, right? When it's something serving more than me, there's a magnification, because that's why we have relationships. The only purpose of relationship is to magnify human emotion. If you have been around somebody and you're feeling good and it's somebody you really love, you feel even better. And that's also why you get around somebody who's in a lousy state and you're in a lousy state. And put two lousy states together, oh, boy, that's really fun, right? But the point is, you get more sustainability when it's not just your flow, but a flow to serve something more than yourself. So you can play the guitar for yourself. And it's magnificent. You could be in the flow. The music's going, it's awesome. But if you're also doing that and it's serving somebody as well, it starts to be magnified more and there tends to be even more pull. But then if that same little triangle of all these ways. And by the way, you don't have to give up. You can do all three. Who's done all three, Right? But it's important to know that this base one is the strongest one of all. But this shading all around it here is really the glue that holds it together, and that's relationships. Because as we said, that's why we have relationships. They magnify. It's why when you have a great experience and it's really wonderful, what's the first thing you want to do? Share it. Share it with somebody you love, because that magnifies you. You can only experience so much by yourself. And so tonight we're going to bring in a gentleman who did the longest happiness study in history. I think it was 4, 45 plus years. And you'll see that the core of it is relationships. Your relationships are great. You can have happiness no matter what. Now you still have to manage your mind and not let those situational situations take you out of it. But your overall Happiness tends to be incredibly strong when relationships are deep and trusting and loving and connected. To me, in the end, happiness is love.