This Is What Actually Triggers Us...

Nothing is being done to you. You're the one doing it all. That's when you start to liberate yourself. There's no one to blame. Anyone on the outside who's a trigger is only a trigger you're using. You could say, how I trigger myself is I see these people and I picture or I say to myself, or I do this in my body, because that's how it really happens. No one triggers you. You trigger you. Someone else go by and have the same experience and not be trig. So you're doing it, but we somehow forgot we're the one in charge here. And then you become enslaved to some pattern instead of waking up to your own true consciousness. Or you can catch yourself when you're starting to make all these images in your mind of comparison. By the way, comparison is never fair. It's never right. It always makes you feel terrible because comparison takes a moment in time. It's out of context. You're judging yourself too soon, or you're judging yourself unfairly, or you see one area of a person's life, but you don't see all the others, or you see the surface that's being presented. I've seen people who seem to have this incredibly blessed life, but because I do what I do, I get to find out what's underneath. And you find out this guy that's worth a billion dollars and he can't hold a relationship with his son or his wife. He's miserable inside. You go, wow, it seems so unfair that he doesn't seem to give a shit. He made a billion dollars. Well, he's still getting his lessons. Everybody gets their lessons. I don't care what it is. I had another friend that, you know, seemed to do everything right. His kid was born with this fatal disease, and he had to go through that experience. No one escapes extreme stress. The only question is, do you use stress or let stress use you? Do you create more stress by what you do in your own head? Or do you de stress and move forward and use it as rocket fuel to make your life greater? But it's really important to remember that it's not all about you. It's about we. We're in the Wii business, right? The me, me, me business is the saddest song of all. It's a lonely song, but the we business, and that's what we're all in here, we're in it for each other. That means who is leading, who is following, who is giving, who is teaching, who is learning. It's always changing Roles if you're honest and also if you're smart. Because I know I can learn from everyone. I learned from her too. How many learn from her? So it's like you have to stay in that place of being the learner, being the one that's always open to that. Or otherwise you're cheating yourself out of so much curiosity. Curiosity is what drives me. I'm curious to know what's going on. And then when I learn it, I know I can help more people with it. Right. It evolves differently every single time, which is part of the beauty of this. The two forces that control every thought you think, every emotion you feel, every experience of your life, that is your values and your beliefs. Those two forces literally control every decision you make. They are the invisible force that's determining whether you're happy or unhappy, excited or pissed off. It's all shaped by your values and your beliefs. Now that sounds really simple, and on the surface it is. But one of the reasons why people don't find their way to where they want to be in life is because we have lots of things we value. We value certain things that we want more of. When you say you value something, it means it's important to you. Some things are important because you want more of it. We call those moving towards values because since we are more, we move towards them. Those are the emotional states that we value most. On a positive side. Now there's also things we value avoiding, meaning we believe they're very important to avoid because they're too darn what? Painful, right? And so you have two sets of values, not one. You have a set of values of what you're trying to move towards, and you have a set of values of what you're trying to avoid. When you're making decisions subconsciously, these two forces are being affected. That alone makes it a little more complex. But there is another level below it, which is the beliefs that determine whether you hit the target of your values. Think of it this way. Your six human needs are the ultimate target. Everything you do is to meet those needs. Whether you do it in a way that's negative, anxiety or positive contribution, growth, expansion, learning, whatever drugs, negative or positive, you're going to find a way to get at least the first four. Most people don't get growth and contribution, which is why most people don't experience fulfillment, because those are the spiritual needs. But that's the target. But our brain thinks the target is things that we think are lead to some of these things. So it's either things like someone could say, what do you value? I value my car. Well, it's true, their car is important to them. But when you tell me certain things, there's what we call ends, values. Ends are the emotions you're after. That's what you're after, ultimately. And then there's means. A car is a means. What does a car give you? Go, well, it gives me freedom or it gives me status or gives me comfort. Right. Those are the feelings you want. How many follow here? Like you might say, I value family. I'd say, great, that's true. But family is still a vehicle. What does family give you? And the person might say, what? Love, connection, joy, significance, all these other needs that might be met. So it's a vehicle to meet more of those six needs. So you value it as a way to get there. You don't realize that people say, I want money. What do you want money for? You want little pieces of paper with dead people on it? I don't think so. No. I want freedom or I want security. What are those? Those are feelings that you value. And by the way, is it possible to have a lot of money and still be insecure, uncertain, unloved? Yes or no, Is it possible a lot of money and not feel free? So people have illusions that if I get the thing, I'll meet the need. But that is not necessarily so. Okay. That's why people get so frustrated and create love and create joy, create a business and create a family. Great pain, create worry. We have the ability to choose. And if we decide to become creators or co creators of this universe. One of the earliest ones we talked about was understanding the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. That if you go to the east, it's very different than the West. In the east, people are focused more on the inner world. In the west, we tend to focus more on the outer world. Which world should you focus on? Both. Why should you pick one or the other? But our culture tends to lean us one direction or the other. Here people get really upset when they don't have their special sauce on their jumbo jack. If they don't have enough money, if they don't have things organized the way they want. But I'm suggesting to you, you can have the science of achievement. That's the west and the art of fulfillment. And without both, you're cheating yourself. We have to understand what accelerates or decelerates, breaks our life momentum. And that's created by emotion. And we all discover we have an emotional home. What do you love what do you hate? What excites you? Because that's the only way your life changes is decision. A real decision, by the way, a real decision is you cut off anything except what you've committed to. And when you decide and you commit and you resolve, when you do all three of those things, you will move forward. Anything in our life can change. You don't like your body, change it. You don't like your relationship, change it. Might want to change you first, or you might find the same problem coming again. You might find out you were the problem. You don't like your business or your career, change it. How? First step is decision. But I can take you through a process of uncovering what's holding you back, which is always a belief. Remember he said, what's the only thing stopping people's fear? To be fearful, you have to believe that something is scary or bad for you or could hurt you or destroy you. And yet, we all know the hero's journey. How many of you have something that's happened in your life years ago that was so brutal that you would never want to go through it again? You never want anybody who care about to go through it. But looking back five years, 10 years ago, I see why the universe of God created that for me. I'm stronger, I care more, I'm smarter. Thank God it happened. What triggers it? Then? One more little response to that. That is, when you have this thought, what do you start to feel? What do you start to do? How do you start to become? How do you start to act? How do you start to feel? How do you behave when you let this stressful thought dominate your thinking? One or two stressful thoughts that show up regularly, what tends to trigger them? What do you tend to feel? How do you tend to behave? What do you tend to then do? Point. If you know one or two stressful thoughts that really get you, what's the thing you focus on sometimes that lights you up? Those people, no matter what happens, they go home to joy or happiness or playfulness or humor. So when you tell the person next to you this, I don't want you to be like a college student who has been educated to believe the world is triggering them. So tell the truth, Say I use these things to trigger these negative thoughts. And by the way, when you say the positive things, I use thinking about my children to feel this good feeling. I use playing my music to do this. I use crushing this challenge to feel this. Any negative thought you think you have and you're fighting with you understand it is not your thought. When you claim it's your thought, you get to keep becomes part of your identity. And remember, the strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves. If you define yourself as a loser, you find the way to lose. You find yourself as a winner, you're going to find some way to victory. It's not that simplistic, of course, but there's a different drive inside of you. And so your thoughts are triggered by many things. Number one, your energy level. When your energy level is low, which thoughts show up? The happy thoughts or the painful thoughts? I said to the audience, I said, how many? Do you have something in your life that tends to trigger you to not feel the way you want? Could be a person, could be a situation. I said, well, then perhaps instead of being like, just I am triggered. Why don't we retrain our nervous system? Let's build some myelin to do something else. We have to do enough repetition, enough emotion.