This LEADERSHIP Skill Will Change Your Life Forever...

The most important skill to create a great quality of life is the skill of leadership. Leadership doesn't mean you tell people to do and they do it, or that people follow you. Leadership means you live life by your standards. That you won't settle unless you can do, be, share, create, or give. And what makes you a leader is one skill above any other skill. The minute you decide to serve other people, you become a leader because it isn't about you anymore. It doesn't matter what your position is in a company or in your family. The decision to truly serve where it's not about you gives you an energy and a power that most people don't have. But then the second thing is there's a skill to leadership. And the most important skill of leadership is influence. If you want to know what will change your life completely, more than any other skill on earth, it's influence. Now what does influence mean? It means the ability to change the thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions of another person for a greater good. Now, you can be a negative influence, obviously I'm not talking about that. But who do you have to be able to influence first if you're going to really be a good influencer? Who? Yourself. Everything in your life is controlled by your ability to influence yourself and others. But it starts with you. Influence is the skill that brings you in relationship with people. But what makes you a great influencer is you're able to do it to yourself. And then you're able to serve others and show them how to do it for theirs. And what I want to do today more than anything else is leave here where you know how to influence yourself. So if you don't feel like doing something, you can still get yourself to do it that fast. And the way we're going to do it is by understanding two distinctions. What influences every human being alive, number one is the state they're in at that moment in time. The mental, emotional, physical state. Moment to moment, your life is controlled by your state. If you're in a pissed off state of mind, could you be nice and warm to people? Yes. But you won't be. If you're feeling playful and somebody says screw you, you'll laugh. If you're feeling angry and they say, why didn't you do that? You'll be mad. So our emotions are controlled moment to moment by the state we're in. If you want to influence another person, the first thing you want to do is what all kids know how to do. Do you ever watch a kid say, I want an ice cream cone? And you say no. And 10 minutes later, they're licking on one. How do they do that? They had no class on how to deal with rejection. I'll tell you what they do. They know how to put you in state. I remember one time I came home and my daughter was just turning 16, and she goes, dad, how are you? And I'm like, something's up, right? She's being overly enthusiastic. I love her, she loves me, but this is overly enthusiastic, right? What does she want? She goes, dad, she goes, I'm so happy to see you. Come home. Listen, I just wanted to ask you. Would you like me to wash the car? It's like, no. Would you like me to do. It's like, no. What do you want? Could I have the keys? They know how to put you in state, don't you? Well, we have to do the same thing. Can a nice person ever be mean? Yes, when they're in a mean state. Can mean people be nice? Yes, when they're in a nice state. And then the second thing that influences people long term is what we call their blueprint, which is just a big word for we all have a set of beliefs about how we should be, about how other people should be, about how people should treat us, about how we should act, about how much money we should be earning at this stage of our life. We have a blueprint, a set of beliefs. And when our life matches our blueprint, we're really happy. When it doesn't, we're kind of unhappy. But you can change your blueprint, but if you don't change your state moment to moment, you still won't be happy. So we're going to focus on state here. We'll touch a little bit of blueprint. When I do my four days, we show you to rewire your whole blueprint. Everything we do is a pattern, but we're not aware of it most of the time. How many of you, for example, have something you want to change? You promise yourself to change, and you still haven't changed it, so why not? Well, because the pattern gets caught up in us and we start thinking we are this pattern. If you overeat, you don't know if eat every moment. You overeat when you're bored, or you overeat when you're feeling lonely, or you overeat when you feel really stressed. If you smoke, same thing. You don't do it every moment, there's an emotional state that triggers it. And every emotion you feel is controlled by patterns inside you. And when I began to Understand this. It became very easy to change myself because it wasn't this invisible force controlling me. It wasn't willpower. It was like, oh, these are the triggers that make me go. How many of you have a tone of voice that someone can use or look in their face that they give it to you and you get a little upset? That's a trigger. How many of you have a certain tone of voice or something that excites you when you meet someone of the opposite sex? It's a certain triggers, right? So we all have triggers, but we can shift those triggers, we can shape those triggers. And when I started to learn how to do that, everything changed. But then, not only can I help me, but then I could help just about anybody else. After years got better, I started getting the call from the biggest in the world, the greatest athletes in the world. I remember the first time Serena Williams called and she couldn't get herself on the tennis court in New York. And they called everybody, nobody do it. And they called me in, and I had to find the way to get her in state and change everything that couldn't change. I'd never done it before, but I had to succeed because otherwise everybody in the world know I failed. That's a helpful tool. Sometimes it's nice not to have a net, because you'll find a way. And then I figured that out. And then, sure enough, I started working with people who are suicidal. And knock on wood, I've never lost one in four, 47 years. Even the most extreme behavior is a pattern. Why would someone try to commit suicide? There's only one reason. They believe living is more painful than dying. But if you change that and you unleash their imagination of dying or taking your own life could be painful for eternity, or whatever is inside their head, they're not going to take their life. So I learned these tools. And then after a while, true story. I got a call from the president, United States President Clinton. I was just 30 years old. And he says, tony, they're going to impeach me in the morning. What should I do? They're going to impeach me in the morning. What should I do? I'm 31 years old. I go, could you call me sooner? It's tomorrow morning. But because I had to figure it out, I did, and figured out what to do to turn them around. So get up and do that. The Hay Village stayed in their houses. Well, what did that do? It created a pattern that was even more sedentary than normal modern life. Even lower energy and it's been hard. Now people don't even want to go to work. In some countries, my country, people don't even want to work. Why should I come to the office? Well, because it's your job. Because it's how you earn money when the government will just send me money. In my country, there are young people that say, why should I work? They stay home, live with their parents. There are a larger number of young males, 25 to 35, living at home than any time in American history. And all they do is they order Uber Eats, play video games and let their parents take care of them. It's insane. That's what happened. It became a pattern that has not been broken in some places.