Tony Robbins Helps Alex Hormozi Deal With Feeling Numb

I have an apathy issue. I'm okay with that.

But you're torn by it, my friend. No, agreed. The reason you're not happy is the mind is leading you. Take the astronauts. I got to interview several of them, right? Think of them. They went out and they competed. They wanted to be an astronaut, right? You had a version of that. I want to be a business owner, whatever it was you have. And they beat everybody, right? Tens of thousands of people. They got down 100, down to 25, down to 6, down to the guys that go to the moon, right? And they walk on the moon, they look back and see that image you and I have seen. They took blue-green of the Earth, but that was them seeing it. And they make it back and survive. They splash down, they have a ticker tape parade, they shake the president's hand. Now what the fuck do you do after you've walked on the moon for adventure? I guess like you're 35 and you walked on the moon. What do you do? At 36 years old, you built such a foundation of business, of contribution, of wealth, of your body, that at this stage it shouldn't be pain, it shouldn't be suffering. I don't think it has to be any of those things. I think it's can be total joy. But you have to kind of rewire your brain because otherwise that past training conditions you. I mean, how many people do you know that were rich and famous and the world loved and they killed themselves? Yeah, because they stopped growing. And most of them became alcoholics and drug addicted. And the reason is they forgot how to find that joy or that adventure and a smile. And so you have trained yourself to be pain equals success, and success has a certain amount of value, but screw happiness. You have literally hypnotized yourself into missing it because you weren't feeling fulfilled. It's the only thing that makes us feel alive is growth. You know, when you grow, then you have something to give, and when you give, then your life is more meaningful than just, you know, pleasure, money, food, alcohol, sex, whatever it is, you know. But it's never going to be the same as when you have something that's larger than you that you're called to. I think the biggest problem we have as human beings as that we think we shouldn't have any. It's like problems make you grow. Problems call to you because listen, you lift, we're both in good shape. You wouldn't be there if you lifted light weights and did 100 curls with some light weight, right? You're built. You've built this body. You built it by challenging it. But some people, maybe because of your background in the fitness industry, no pain, no gain. But today we know that's not true. You know, we know today that minimum dose will produce the maximum result. You wanna, You overdo it, you tear down too much, right? It's like finding the right dose, just like anything else, like a drug for somebody. If you think you're going to just go off and enjoy your life and not add value, you're going to be deluded. You're going to be frustrated.

How do you see the dichotomy between duty and enjoyment?

So duty could be a good word, like if you're seeing yourself like a soldier, right? But I don't look at it that way. I look at it as opportunity. I don't feel a sense of duty. I feel a sense of joy in being able to contribute. To me, contribution is what we're made for. Like, it's not hard to meet your own needs as a human being, right? It's not that difficult today in the world we're in today. But to have a fulfilling life, you have to have something you care about more than yourself. Yeah. And so if you get into business just to make money, there's nothing wrong with that. Those people usually, you know, even if they succeed, they hit a limit of fulfillment because the economic returns only produce so much. And so I don't look at duty and enjoyment. I look at it as more like it's all enjoyment because contribution is the ultimate enjoyment for me. I mean, I get in a business for impact and economics are second. If I have enough impact, you'll never have to worry about economics in your life. And I found that to be true in my own life. There's two types of motivation. If you don't think of it that way, there's push motivation, which is, let's say, duty or I've got to do this or I have to do it or obligation, right? Pull motivation is where there's something out there that you want to serve more than yourself that'll get you up early, keep you up late. And it isn't hard. It isn't duty. It is like what I'm made for. Yeah. When you tap into that, your energy level will explode, your contribution will explode, will give you the constant endurance to move forward in a way in which you enjoy your life rather than someday when I get to this number, then I'm slowly going to feel good. To me, it's not duty, but I do believe those much is given, much is expected.

It's one of my favorite parts in the whole Bible.

Oh, really? I come from that place too. But it— but to me, the expectation is a pleasure.

The difficulty that I have is finding enjoyment outside of work. And the contribution from that perspective, like I've spoken to a number of billionaires, yourself included, where I'm like, the next game, they were like, you should do something that like really helps people. And I was like, I feel like I do that. That is probably a struggle that I have dealt with, which is that I have an apathy issue. When I got in the fitness industry, I got into it because fitness was the only thing I was really into. And so I was like, well, I'll do something I love because I was a management consultant. I was like, well, this sucks. I'm gonna do something I love. And then as soon as I got into the business of fitness, I realized that the vast majority of my day had nothing to do with fitness at all. And it was like billing and, you know, membership sales and like all this other stuff. And when I started getting the testimonials coming in of these people who were going through, you know, our process, losing weight, getting off medications, whatever, maybe the first couple of months it felt like something. But then on like the 100th and the 1000th, I was like, well, yeah, you know, of course you stopped, you moved better and you stopped eating it and it worked out, you know, you know, like it just, it's basically the magic was gone.

The reason you're not happy is the mind is leading you. Get in your head, you're dead.

Dead.

You can execute with your mind so well. You recognize, I'm sure, like I do, pattern systems. You know how to put them in place, get it done. But then there's not the emotional connection. You need a moonshot or two, and you need to get connected to the people and see and feel the impact in a new variety. Because otherwise, it's the law of familiarity. You get around anything enough, no matter how good it is, you start taking a little bit for granted. And, and that's just human nature. That's not you. So you have to wake it up and you got to get associated. So I want to try to say to you is stop this through happiness thing. Yeah. And just actually say to yourself, no, I deserve happiness. I'm going to create happiness, but I have to do it differently than it before. I can't just get up and just work some train to work. I can't. I'm not a robot anymore. Right? You're way too smart and you got way too big a heart. I know you do, but you're not connected to it and you don't have something that you're obsessed about that makes you feel fully alive. You're doing it because you need to. The difference between have to, duty, and get to, yeah, that's the difference between rich and poor. And rich and poor is not money. Rich and poor is feeling fully alive. That's rich, right? Poor is you work your ass off and you have plenty of money and you help all kinds of people, but you don't connect it. Your energy has got to be shifted. You need a kick in the ass. You need to get an environment where you're on fire. Yeah. And then at that state, you've had that state before, I guarantee you, when you got here. But then you got so caught up in the push, I think you've missed some of the pull for your life. And I think this is not just true of you, it's true of most of us. Why are most people stressed? Like, if you talk to people, like successful people, they're always talking about, I'm so stressed, I'm stressed. Yeah, I'll tell you why you're stressed, because you're managing all these great businesses, you're managing all this great money. But you know what, when you manage it, it puts you back in survival. Are you going to tell me it's more stressful today than the Dark Ages? I mean, come on. But what's happened is we have all this we're trying to manage, and we're not made to manage. You've been so successful that now you've hit a set point. And now the only way that set point is people get to a point where they question and they start going, is it worth it or not? But I have to keep doing it. No, sometimes you make a point, you say, no, I'm going to keep what I'm doing, but I'm going to be connected to it at a different level, or I'm going to change paths altogether. I'm going to add a path that brings another dimension to me. Those are the places that go.

Passion comes from the Latin passio, right?

Yes.

Which means suffering or to endure.

Yeah.

And so that made actually a tremendous amount of sense for me. And so I actually reframed that whole concept as like, find a goal worth suffering for.

A goal worth suffering for. I mean, I don't, I don't have goals that I'm worth suffering for. No, don't get me wrong, you're not— every day is not like pure bliss. Yeah. And there's lots of things that I don't love to do that I need to do to succeed, or I got to deal with. That's part of life. But pain is part of life. Suffering is an option. You've heard that phrase, but it's a fact. It's not just a phrase. That's why you've heard so more. But when you make it your goal to find a goal worth suffering for, you're gonna suffer. Yeah, right. So it's in your lane.

I got my wish.

You got your wish. And what's happened is this part of you is so strong, brother. This part of you is too, but this is the lead right now. If you change the lead to here by that sense of connection, everything else, and get the hell out of your head, because your brain is always going to reduce things. It's like your brain will never make you happy. That's the problem. Yeah.

'Get out of your head, get into your heart.' Yes. I love the language.

I don't understand what it means because the brain reduces everything and compares it, whereas the heart magnifies everything. It takes the little things that makes them bigger. You tell a lie big enough, loud enough, long enough, sooner or later people believe you. You've told yourself a lot. 'Screw happiness.' No. 'Screw suffering.' Like, I want to engage enjoyment. It's not my duty, it's my gift, it's my honor, it's my opportunity, it's It's grace that has put me at this point in my life. The words you attach to your experience, as I said, become your experience. I call it transformational vocabulary. And so your words shape your psychology. And so a few word changes, as stupid as that sounds, as overly simplistic as that sounds, or people give metaphors, they'll say, oh man, I'm like, I'm like, you know, like I'm at the end of my rope. And I'll go, well, set it down and come over here. What are you talking about? We hypnotize ourselves. The words escalated the emotion, and once they're there as a metaphor or as words, linguistics change how the brain functions. And so part of yours is some simple linguistics, but the other part is state. So I know the word passion literally comes from pain. I know that too. And sometimes we get caught up on the original definition versus how we can live it, right?

Thank you so much, Tony.

Appreciate it. Thank you, brother.

Thank you.