EP085: Integrity-based Human Influence with Jenna Richardson

Welcome to the Perfect Practice podcast where we share the most innovative strategies to help you build a successful functional medicine business, attract your ideal patients, serve your community, and get paid what you're worth. Each episode is packed with practical steps that you can take to immediately grow your influence and serve more people. Our mission is to share golden nuggets from successful practitioners, technology experts and innovators from around the world. Your host, Sachin Patel, is a functional medicine and success coach, international speaker and best selling author. He's calling in all his favors to bring this information to you so you can create your perfect practice.

I would love to welcome to the stage one of our mentees and one of our council members, Jenna Richardson. Today we're going to be talking about a topic that I know you're going to get a lot of value out of. Just to give you some context. Jenna and her father Vincent have been in the mentorship group for several years now and have built a very successful practice. But more importantly, I think what they've built that is even more remarkable is a successful life and continue to strive with their integrity and authenticity. And ultimately, that's my goal for each and every one of you, is to live a life of integrity, authenticity, where you can be yourself, express yourself, and hey, if we make some money doing that at the same time, then so be it. And I feel like that's the only way that we should be striving to make an income and make an impact and have influence. So Jenna and I went to a training and several of us from the mentorship actually went to a training last year. It's hard to imagine how long ago that feels like. And we went to an event called Unblinded. And Jared Yellen, who's a friend of our community and one of his business partners, his name Sean, who is actually legally blind, put on this amazing event. It was just like totally out of this world to think that Sean is like legally blind and in such an impactful position of influence. But it's because of his integrity that it's allowed him to be a very successful attorney. And we just loved it. It was just a fantastic event. And many of us took action after that. And Jenna and Vincent took even the highest level of action, which is they jo the trainings that were offered. Jenna has come back to train us in this methodology. That's what we're going to be discussing today. Welcome, Jenna.

Thank you. I'm excited to be here. So great to see everyone.

Thank you. It's always nice to have you. We've Had a couple of conversations surrounding this conversation. I'm excited to dive right in. I know you've got a lot of action steps for us to take and a lot of content to cover. So I want to start by you know, really understanding and creating an operating definition of what does it, you know, what is integrity based influence? Why don't we start there so that we can kind of set the stage for the rest of the presentation.

Great. So what is integrity based influence? I'm going to dive into that. I mean it's basically just what it states. Right. I feel like this concept of influence is one that has gotten negative connotations around it. I'm sure everyone on this call today is fearful of coming across and sounding salesy, but unfortunately we can't do our jobs unless we can move our clients or patients from hello or pain to yes. It took me a long time to recognize that we're now four years into our practice and I would say it's only within the last year that we really realized that influence can be done in integrity and is really a massive superpower. Here's the reality. If you can master what I'll call the art of influence and what we're actually going to be talking about today is that it's not necessarily as much an art as it is a science. There's actually a formula which I'm sure everyone out there who's like science minded, evidence based is excited to hear. You truly can do anything. You can do, you can be, you can create anything. It's the ability to drive and to determine your own destiny. And literally it's in my mind the only obtainable or learnable superpower that we have.

So what was your biggest takeaway from that weekend? If I'm just, I'm trying to rewind back in my mind and you know, just kind of understanding what was your biggest takeaway or aha moment from that weekend that led you to then pursue this further.

So the really interesting thing is that that was actually this year, Sachin. So you said this year, which is crazy, but we've lost all concept of time.

Yeah, right. I'm already in 2021.

I think most of us are. We can't wait to get there. Right. So I think the biggest takeaway was just that, like just what I stated. And I think it's important to think about how influence applies to every aspect of our lives. So everything from having a discovery consultation with a new client or patient and getting them to. Yes, everything from having a conversation with someone in your Local community, perhaps that's in business and where you see an opportunity for partnership or ecosystem merger. Getting that person to. Yes. Meeting an amazing person that you would love to add to your staff and getting them to agree to come on board. For me, it's negotiating with my 6 year old son every morning to brush his teeth and getting him to actually do that. So it's like amazing how this skill set applies in every aspect of your life. And then I think on top of that also, what's at stake if we don't. Right, like what's at stake if we don't learn how to master influence, especially in the world of the work that we do. So you can personalize it, we can say it's our practice, it's our financial security, it's our family, it's our freedom, it's our time, it's our effort, it's our energy, it's our magic. But ultimately it is also our ability to transform lives and in some cases help to save lives. So what is at stake is not. Is the lack of ability to share our talents and our experience and our gifts for the world, to the world and to these people, which really, as we all know, humanity needs now more than ever.

All right, I love that. And there's a few of us that were there. Liana was there, for example. I know Buddy was there. Liana was there with her father as well. Jess from Buddy's team was there. And it was a great bonding moment for all of us. And I love what you're saying because if we don't feel integritous to what we're offering, and if we don't feel authentic, then it's hard for us to have influence. And that's part of the reason why we do this meditation, right. Is so that we can feel authentic and integritous in what recommendations we're making to our clients. So how would you define what this means to you? Specifically to you? Like what was something that you really. I know you talked about how it impacts you like in terms of how you communicate with your son and your spouse and other colleagues, but how has it impacted you specifically?

Yeah, so, you know, when I think about integrity, I think there are like, there's a few definitions. It's like honesty, it's moral principle. I think for me personally it's about. And what I had to come to terms with in order to kind of push past my own limiting beliefs or obstacles in my way was leaning into truth. Getting comfortable in the space of leaning into my truth. And of recognizing that a lot of what we do, of what I do, of what we do as a community is going to cause disruption, it's going to cause cognitive dissonance. We are shifting a paradigm and that makes people really uncomfortable. So it was being comfortable in that space and being comfortable with leading other people through their discomfort, through this formula and through this process of communication.

What would you say is the biggest challenge? Like encountering this, let's call it a wall of integrity. Right. What would you say is the biggest challenge, especially for us practitioners, to overco.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's a lot of that. It's that we're fighting a narrative, we're fighting an existing paradigm and it's getting people off. What we refer to in unblinded as the default no. Like, as human beings we're programmed for safety, we're programmed for security, we're pre programmed to like live in comfort, which oftentimes is saying no to anything that doesn't align with our current belief systems or the way that we're currently doing things. So that's the biggest challenge. It's recognizing how to communicate with people to move them off of that dot on which they're stuck, to take the next best step, to take the next best action to get from, as Majeet said last week, Pain island to Pleasure Island. I refer to it as hello to yes or from pain to yes. So that they can truly receive the benefit of the work that we're doing.

So tell me how, how that shows up in a day to day basis for you. So let's say before, how would you tell your son to brush his teeth? And then how do you tell. I think, I think everyone wants to know that. Like how do you get your kids to brush their teeth in a highly integrous way and an influential way that doesn't create this huge headbutt in the morning.

I didn't think that that's what we've been focusing on, but it's a great example. So I mean, I think we all know what doesn't work right in any situation. I feel like we've all probably been there, done that, like had that conversation with someone where you walk away and you're like, oh my gosh, like I just vomited all over that person or why didn't I say what I wanted to say? Well, we'll dive into what the structure of the formula is and I think that will help to shed some light on this, whether it's starting a new client or getting your kids to brush their teeth. But it really comes down to a few key areas which are recognizing and validating. So like acknowledging and validating that person, like listening to them, not focusing on what you're going to say, but actually listening. It's just such like a lost art. So in Unblinded, we talk about level five listening, and that's the most important piece of things, asking questions. So again, maybe it doesn't apply to my son in these circumstances, but I mean, I've leveraged this, like, hey, buddy, why is it that you don't want to brush your teeth right now? You know? And he always has an answer for that. But ultimately it's acknowledging, like, I see you, I hear you, and what you say matters to me. So, like, even if it's some absurdity, it's acknowledging that, making him seem felt and heard and allowing us to kind of put that behind and move toward the future goal. Getting synchronous, like getting congruent with that individual as you're having this dialogue in this conversation. And there are 10 steps which I'm planning to cover in detail. And then at the end of this, we'll be able to practice with one another.

Okay, so let's get into the science. Let's go into the integrity based human influence model, because I think that's really exciting. I'm excited about that.

Yeah, so it's easier than you would think. And I think again, a big breakthrough for me is like, many of us aren't born inherently able to influence. I think there are those people who can sell ice to an Eskimo, but that's not the majority of people. And so I think we can get really stuck in those stories of like, oh my gosh, I don't have the charisma and I don't have the confidence and I don't have the clarity and I don't have the personality of like an influencer. And that's not necessarily what's needed. It's really reassuring to understand that there is actually a formula that you can follow to move through the process. So there is an art to it. It obviously requires like, the time, effort, and energy in practicing and delivering and perfecting. But ultimately, if you just remember the 10 steps and we call them the 10 indispensable elements that need to be brought into the conversation, I would say you're like, your win rate is going to increase exponentially. So I don't have any slides or anything prepared. I'm happy to write something up and share this with you guys after this session I just didn't have a ton of time to prepare for this. So I'll try to move relatively slowly through this but want to make sure we have time at the end for the exercise. So there is an acronym for this which isn't like super sexy and fancy, but it's smaller. The word smaller. And then qvc, which I think is like a home shopping network or something. So the S stands for scarcity and scarcity means something different in this context. It means not being attached to the outcome. So it's not like creating scarcity for that person or like creating urgency, which I think oftentimes if you've done any type of like marketing based work or course or sales based work, we tend to think that it's like the creation of urgency. That's not what it means in this context. It's scarcity. So you as an individual not being attached to the outcome. So we're going to have this conversation. Your decision, not my decision, but like let me help you to make an informed one. Second piece is matching and mirroring. So the M stands for matching and mirroring. So this is all about stepping into the space of the other person. Little more challenging now that we all live in virtual world. But you know, when you're one on one with someone, it is the leaning in as they lean in. It's kind of the leaning back as they lean back. It's using hand gestures, it's sometimes touching somebody if appropriate. So much, much easier to do that when you're in person. But I think we're probably all somewhat perfecting some of that given what we're doing today. The A is acknowledgement. So again that phrase of I see you, I hear you and what you say matters to me and that's actually something I pull out all the time in more of my personal based relationships. And talking with my kids is like recognizing when I'm not doing that and then making a conscious effort to do it and even say it sometimes. The first L is what we call level five listening. So again, really tuning in. I like the phrase that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. I think a lot of times when we are sick, super passionate about what we do and we're trying to convince others of that, we tend to talk more than we listen. And ultimately the real value is not just in what the other person is saying, but oftentimes also what they're not saying. So paying very, very close attention to that. The second L is loving unconditionally with boundaries so this is both loving of yourself, acceptance of yourself, but also loving of others. So there was a phrase that has been put out within the unblinded immersion community. I believe Sean probably coined it, Sean Callaghy. But he says that every single act by an individual is either an act of love or a cry for help. I think that that's really helpful to think about in every circumstance. Loving people unconditionally, but also obviously loving them with boundaries. Also loving yourself and respecting yourself enough to create those boundaries. The E stands for energy or emotional energetic transference. We talk in the unblinded community about 4 energies which are Zeus, goddess, aspirational or inspirational and fun. I think probably, if I had to take a guess, a lot of folks within this community, because we are helpers and healers, probably live a lot in Goddess energy, which is a super powerful energy to be in. Many of you who might know me know that my background is actually not as a healthcare practitioner. This is a second career for me. But I spent over two decades in the world of international business and management consulting. So I came into this world as a very, very Zeus person. And so sometimes I have to tame that energy. Aspirational or inspirational is about instilling hope in others. So I think that that's a really important energy for all of us to bring to the table because a lot of times when people show up in our offices or on our screen, there's such an absence of that there's such an absence of hope. And we're working on instilling that and kind of reinvigorating that in folks. And then fun, like what this world needs now is more fun. So we're all about fun and infusing fun into every situation possible. So also moving through this formula with the variance of energies. So recognizing that like you might be predisposed to be one, but it's really important A to acknowledge what the other person is and then also vary that throughout the conversation as that flows. The R stands for reciprocity. So it's kind of like the go giver thing, like give before receiving, give the value and then karma, you will get something back in return. The Q stands for question. So asking strong, often open ended and short questions. It could be as simple as rather than a yes or no. Just everyone knows, I'm sure what an open ended question looks like. Tell me more about that. Or if somebody says something that might be of significance, like, well, I started to fall ill when I was on vacation with my husband in Monaco. Monaco, short questions it opens their opportunity to speak more and opens your opportunity for that. Level five, listening. The V stands for validation in addition to acknowledgment. I see you, I hear you, and what you say matters to me. The validation piece is they're entitled to feel the way they feel. It's okay. I hate to use the term normal because most of the time the situations in which we're working are not necessarily normal, but it's okay. It's not your fault. Right. So the validation of, like, I understand that you're fatigued and frustrated and you've been through the revolving door of healthcare, but you're in the right place and it's not your fault. And then congruence. So ensuring that throughout that process, there's alignment and certainty and agreement and harmony in the communication. I think it's really important to remember that it's not about you, it's about them. Another big aspect of this is really ego subjugation, which I know we're always probably consistently having to work on. And I know Sachin speaks a lot about this as well. But getting to a place where recognizing that this is about them, this isn't about your outcome, this isn't about scarcity, this is about them. Is that helpful?

Yes, super helpful.

Good.

I love that.

Any questions on those things?

Well, Liana was kind enough to type it all up, so it's in the chat in case you missed any of those. And, you know, I was taking notes because I find that it always helps when you write things down. And I was trying to self identify, like, how many of these things am I doing? And I'm probably doing seven of them, but unconsciously. And now this. I love this refresher because now I can really lean into this. And I'm going to type this up and put it as a little cheat sheet for me so that I can check off with every call that I have, even if it's. And this isn't just for sales, everyone, this is for every interaction that you have with every human being. And maybe Carol, I see you're there, so maybe we can create a little one pager with this, a little, you know, self check sheet that people can have. You can just have it on your desk and be laminated or something.

That's what I have literally right in front of me. I have the four energies, the tenants, indispensable elements, the process mastery list. And I reference it, like you said, in each and every conversation.

Okay, maybe if it's okay, if it's in integrity, maybe you could take a picture of it for us and share that and share that in the Facebook group, and then we all have it and then we can. I always like writing things down. So even if you. Even when Jenna shares a picture, write it down for yourself because then you're consciously involved in ingraining that into your mind. I would love for you to maybe explore the goddess and Zeus energy a little bit more and maybe give examples of that if you could.

Yeah, sure. So the way that I think about Zeus energy, it's like that powerful energy. It's got a masculine component to it. You know, it's. It can be loud, it can be aggressive, it can be passionate. It can also be soft and confident from what I've seen. So, you know, there's variance even within the energies that are important. But what I would equate it to, if I had to come up with like three words to describe Zeus energy, is probably masculine, powerful, and confident. So there are times to step into that. Right. Like when you know that what you're doing can help somebody. Sometime it's that. Sometimes it's that delivery that ultimately convinces them to take the next action, to say yes. They need that push, the tough love piece of things. Perhaps the goddess energy is more. Receiving the goddess energy is probably, I would say, the place you want to live through a lot of this conversation. Because remember, you need to be open, you need to be receptive, you need to ask the questions. You need to level five listen. So a lot of this is done, I would say, in goddess energy with infusions of some of the other ones throughout the process. So I would say again, that's the more like feminine receiving, nurturing, loving, open, armed type of energy.

I love that. And then can you maybe give some examples for people that are using Zoom, how to match and mirror?

Yeah, I mean, I think I try to treat zoom as if I was having a face to face conversation. I mean, some of you, I'm Italian, so I speak a lot with my hands, so some of you might see me like moving around and stuff. There's a term that we talk about in the unblinded community called being at cause. So I think in addition to matching and mirroring, it's like you want to be in state, at cause, engaged, immersed in the conversation. Movement is important. And I think a lot of times, especially when you're sitting behind the camera, you can get really like stagnant. And with stagnant comes lack of energy. So, I mean, you can tell like how I'm Talking to you now, if I said, hey, sign up for my program, like, probably not super influential, but yes, somebody just posted standing help. So, like, if you have a standing desk being up and moving around. But if I'm like, this is the best thing you could ever possibly do, you have to sign up for this program, it's going to change your life. Like there, you know, it's just. I wouldn't say that directly, probably, but you can tell, like the difference in the dynamic of that piece of things.

And I think a good point, and this is something that I'm realizing with myself, is you can't see my hands because of the frame that I'm in. So I need to probably zoom out a little bit more or be even more expressive. Because even if I, like right now, I'm moving my hands and you can't see them. So this is a great example of context for all of you, is the frame that you have in the zoom call that you're doing can make a radically huge difference because you might express yourself differently. Maybe people can tell you're enthusiastic, but sometimes they need to see that body language as well, because that's where a lot of our human communication comes from as well.

I think people are so starved for that right now. If there are ways that you can make minor tweaks in how you're interacting with people to draw them in a little bit more and to reach out a little bit more, it will be so impactful.

Absolutely. All right, can you give us an example of maybe a before and after of what a consultation would be? So maybe say before I was doing this and now that I have this self awareness, I'm doing this differently.

Yeah, I mean, I think a big thing for me was that I was so excited and passionate about the work we did and that I was very attached to the outcome. I knew that we could help everyone and I wanted to help everyone. And so I made it more about me than I did about them, which got in the way of my ability to truly hear them. So I think having this formula right in front of me and walking through it and making sure that I'm checking the boxes and honing in on each step along the way has been really impactful to allow me to both open my listening but then in turn open their listening. So people show up in our offices oftentimes, I find, because they don't feel that they've been seen and that they've been heard and that what they say matters to anybody. Just providing them that that space, holding that space. And I think that this formula allows you to do that and is a constant reminder of how to accomplish that.

What's some of the feedback that you've been receiving since creating this shift? Have people been saying anything to you, like your patients?

I don't know about direct feedback. I mean, I think it's showing up in the numbers. So, like, just amidst Covid, like, our practice is booming, you know, that it's still in process. And granted, like, you know, I think that there are probably influential factors from COVID that maybe are causing people to wake up and recognize the importance and value of their health. But we've all shifted how we communicate with people. So I would say our conversion rates. We get a health strategy session in the door, so we've shifted. That might be a tip for everybody. Rather than saying we do discovery consultations, we say we do health strategy sessions, which are complementary. Everyone who does that, I would say our conversion rate from discovery to first visit to program is probably 95%, whereas before it might have been 50. So it's. It's significant.

Amazing. Where did. Where did you personally find you were most efficient in. Out of these 10, was there one that you really felt like, hey, I was never doing this, or had no awareness of this?

I think the two things that I've had to really hone in on are, as I said, the really tuning into the listening aspect of things, so questioning and listening, but then also the acknowledgement and validation. Like, I'm so conscious to do that in every conversation I'm having with anybody at this point in time. And it is such a powerful and impactful tool.

You know, there's, you know, and I'm speaking to everyone here, I think, and I can speak for myself, too, is that we have so much knowledge, and it's so easy for us to be like, oh, you should do this, this, this, this, and this. I know exactly what I'm going to do. And we know we can help people, right? That's why we're so enthusiastic to kind of vomit all over them with our knowledge.

But.

What did you find was really helpful in helping you slow down and be a better listener? Because I think a lot of us are doing a lot of talking right now with, like, webinars, Facebook lives, that we might be doing, videos we might be sharing. So we're used to talking. But is there something that you've, like, a way that you found to become a better listener?

I love priming. Like what you did with the meditation at the beginning of the sessions. I think that's amazing. I think it's just breathing, being present, truly being interested in what that person has to say. Like recognizing that everyone sitting across the desk or across the camera from you is a human being with their own story. That again, every act is either an act of love or a cry for help. So, you know, not internalizing things that are said, recognizing that it's about them, not about me or about us, and really just slowing down. Slowing down. It's amazing too, what can be conveyed through not saying anything.

Yeah, it's quite powerful. Like silence speaks louder than some of the words that we might be saying. So thank you, Jenna. And I know you have some things you wanted to share with us in closing, so I'd love to give you the floor.

Thank you. So, as I said, this has become really an immersive part of my life because I recognize the value of this in so many facets, whether it's business, whether it's relationships, self mastery, like in communications with myself. It's become really impactful and effective. So it's really important. If you're interested in learning more, if you're interested in participating further in some of the complimentary, fun stuff we have going on, shoot me an email. No pressure. You know, I'm not, I'm not trying to sell you anything. I'm just trying to really articulate the value of influence and the fact that we all have it in us. It's just something that needs to be honed. So with that said, I'd like to invite you all to just close your eyes. I have just like a 60 second closing thing that I would like to read. You can feel free to turn your camera off or keep it on. And I'm going to apologize if my mic quality is not great. I lost my main mic for some reason. So here it goes. What if. What if there's a secret? What if we are much more like our heroes than we have ever believed? What if we all walk around with the ability to impact the world like Lincoln, Washington, Oprah, Mother Teresa, Muhammad Ali, Batman, James Bond, Wonder Woman, Margaret Thatcher, or any other hero, leader or influencer, real or fictional, that we've ever loved or encountered? What if we could be a force for good and make the world an even greater place? What if we have that same power to influence and impact our friends, families and ourselves? To experience more consistent magic, love, gratitude, growth, contribution, fun, fulfillment and abundance than we have ever dared to dream? What if there's a secret to accomplishing this? What if the secret is A bit more complex than wishing and believing or merely some motivation or inspiration, but far more assured to bring you your breakthroughs and dreams. What if you were more capable, powerful and important to this world than you can imagine? What if you're unaware and blind to how many lies and false limitations you believe in because they have just quietly and insidiously seeped into your mind, heart and soul? What if people who love you and who are beautiful souls taught and conditioned you unknowingly to believe in those lies and false limitations that stand between you, your greatest self, your contributions to the world and your dreams? What if these lies and false limitations you believe in also came to you from bullies on the playground, in the classroom, on the athletic field, as well as your favorite TV shows, movies, songs and news deliverers? What if these lies you believe also came from betrayals? What if some of those betrayals were ones we committed against ourselves? What if you are blind, don't know it, and can't see what you can't see? What if you had a path to being unblinded and acquiring 2020 vision? What if part of you wants to believe, but another part of you is too afraid and connected to the lies and false information that has been conditioned into you? What if it would hurt too much to realize that so much more was always available right there in front of you, hiding in plain sight? What if you're afraid people you love won't love you if you are unblinded and can finally see? What if you've believed and can't find a way to do it again? You just don't want to deal with the pain? What if you have everything you need inside? What if you just need a map, a formula and the truth? What if you can have more money? What if you can have more time? What if growing personally, professionally and financially are completely predictable and achievable? What if you can have more magic, passion, fulfillment, love, adventure, belief, confidence, fire, aspiration, transcendence, fun, bliss, ecstasy and every other experience you want? What if there's a formula that is the formula of formulas to predictably create all of this. That's what I've shared with you today. Thank you.