400: Speaking Story Epilogue - Speaking My Story

Dang, dang, dang, I recorded all of that on the wrong microphone. Amaze, amaze, amaze.

Oh, you guys, I watched, uh, my brain was not working. Hail Mary, Hail Mary, Hail Mary. Amaze, amaze, amaze. So beautiful. Did you get that? Full of grace and grace is the astronaut. Have you seen this movie? Please tell me you have. It's It's so, so beautiful. I love it so much. Saw it in the movie theaters and then bought it so that I could watch with my kids at home and just be there. And my oldest Rowan, who you'll hear about in this final episode of Speaking Story, the audiobook version here on the podcast or on YouTube, you'll, you'll learn a little bit about Rowan. And their beautiful way in this world. And I knew that Rowan would love this movie. Knew it. And of course, of course, Rowan loved it. I'm just thinking of Rowan as I set you up for this final chapter, this final little part of Making Story: The Book. I was just— have been so honored to share with you I hope this has been helpful for all of you. And I was kind of laughing a little bit and thinking, you know, I wrote this a long time ago and now it's coming to life again via audiobook. And it's been really awesome to essentially get reacquainted. And I use these ideas all the time with my current clients, and I have for many, many years. And when I wrapped up recording the intro for Chapter 39, which is technically the last chapter of the book, I was like, there's no chapter on performing it. And then I realized, oh, actually that's what the epilogue is about. That's what the epilogue is about. And that's where we are, is the moment where all of your preparation, in whatever form it came in, a moment where you have the opportunity to actually speak your story. And this is the story of me speaking my own story, or the story of my family really, and who we are and who my beautiful kids are, in particular who Rowan is, and the vulnerability of actually doing this. I've been speaking for a really long time And there are a handful of moments where I felt and have felt really deep vulnerability in that sense of, um, allowing people to see me. And there's risk in this, and it's very different than delivering content in a workshop and making sure people understand what, and how. It was very personal. And truly, this opportunity that I had to tell this story, it was this warm and wonderful audience. You'll hear a little bit more about the Listen to Your Mother event. You'll learn a little bit more about my family, specifically about Roe and our journey. And honestly, this is more about me than it is about Rowan. It's about my journey in motherhood and my own— me really understanding what bravery actually is, what it means to allow yourself to be seen. I took my cues. I took my cues from my oldest kiddo, Ro. I hope that as you listen to this, you yourself are reminded of what courage really is. And whether or not you ever share anything as personal, we all have stories. We all have stories, deep and real. Everybody doesn't automatically get access to them, but there might be a moment where your story is the thing. Might change the way people connect with and understand an idea. I can't think of a more important time in this world right now than for purpose-driven dreamers, daring dreamers, like I know you are, who bring your compassion, your determination, and your vision for a better world to this world through story. Because we need it. We need all of you, and we need all of you. You, risk around the all, you know, everybody in the audience gets everything, all the things, all the asterisks. And yet, no more hiding, because your story might be the thing moves world. So thank you for being with me on this journey. Thank you for listening to this story. And as you hear my story, hope that you will meet it with compassion in your own and turn around, share your story in the same way. Big hugs, team. Thank you for being here. Let's go.

Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world.

With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney.

This complimentary listening of the Speaking Story audiobook is brought to you in part by the Be Moved Institute, what we also call B.M.I. And I want you to hear something from Tony, former Fortune 500 executive who came to me at a real turning point in his life and his message.

You can have the greatest idea in the world, but if you're not clear, if you don't come through clearly, then none of that matters. But in the end, are you connecting? Are you really moving people? And that's what Sally teaches.

Tony also said that working together brought him, his words, out of the shadows and into the light. That is the work. And here's the thing: leadership almost always comes with a microphone, a meeting, a board presentation, a conference keynote you didn't exactly volunteer for. And most leaders have never had anyone actually help them find their story, not just polish their slides. And that's exactly what I built the Unspeaker Simple Storytelling course for. It's audio only, so you can do it on a walk or in your car. It's $49, just enough to get you going, and it is the fastest way I know to help you find the leadership stories that are already inside you. You can get started at sally-z.com/unspeaker. And when you're ready to go deeper, come find us at sally-z.com/institute. Now let's get into the chapter.

Epilogue: Speaking my story. Every story has 4 parts: the beginning, the middle, the almost ending, and the true ending. Stephanie Garber, Legendary. I was sitting in the front row of a 700-person audience. My heart was pounding, my palms were sweaty, and my giant orange metal water bottle was clanking around under my chair as I kept accidentally kicking it over. I was nervous-cited, a term coined by my oldest kiddo that perfectly summed up how I was feeling: nervous, but convincing myself that I was really excited. I was keenly aware that I was about to do the thing I teach: speaking my story. I was awaiting my turn to walk up to the microphone and share a story that was deeply personal to me, a story that most of the people in the room had never heard before, and one that might surprise them. As you may know after walking with me through this book, I'm an experienced speaker, and I love what I do.

I always have.

Even when I'm nervous, even when I wonder if I have what it takes, and even when it doesn't go well. I have spent the last 20+ years speaking and coaching speakers, so this moment should not have been a problem for me. But the nature of this story was so different. I tell personal stories when I speak, of course, but this story felt and was different. This time, I was talking about not what I know or my professional pedigree and expertise, but who I am, or more accurately, who I have become, and the changing gender identity of one of my kids. I flashed to the moment when I submitted the story, my hand pausing on the send button. Am I ready for the world to know this about my family? Am I ready to support Rowan publicly and not just in the privacy of our household? Am I ready to face the rejection that might come with sharing a story like this? Rowan had given me permission. Rowan was being brave, so ready or not, this was important. I felt a pull, a small voice of courage in the back of my head. Send. 2 months prior to the event, I was notified that my story had been accepted as a part of a Listen to Your Mother event, an event I'd spoken at and even emceed before. It's the warmest and loveliest crowd, and the only place I wanted to share this story for the first time The next week, after learning I would be in the show, I was with a group of dear entrepreneurial friends at a cabin, and I asked if I could share it with them. I could hardly get through the first 2 minutes without breaking down. Cry talking was not really what I was going for. How am I going to do this? I asked myself. Just a few days prior to the big event, in an effort to practice sharing the story without crying, I shared it with some of my speakers in my Movers Lab program. —a mastermind program for speakers who want to scale their speaking for more revenue and impact. It went somewhat better, though it was still unsuccessful. I got to the one critical line and bawled my eyes out. I could hardly see my script thanks to the waterworks. Something had to shift for me to do this story, this important, powerful, and needed story, justice. So I did what I tell my speakers to do. I spent much of that week leading up to the event walking and talking the story out loud to shift it to a different place in my body, away from my tight throat and flipped stomach, into my grounded legs and knowing lungs. On the day of the talk, I put on something that made me feel good and brave: my green jacket. That jacket makes me feel bright, bold, and capable. I left early for the event so that I wasn't stressed. I drank lots of water. I called upon my cheerleaders to ask them for support and well wishes. And I started telling myself a different story about the evening. I can't wait to share this with them. This story matters. Rowan is brave, and I can be brave too. I can't control what they think, but I can show up with love. It doesn't need to be perfect. I just want to be present in this moment. The truth is that if I had never shared this story publicly, it had already moved me to put into words and speak out loud, even to my two private loving audiences, the experience of being a mom to this remarkable and brave human being. But I wasn't prepared for the experience of that night. There I was, sitting in an audience of 700 people, waiting for my turn to have 700 witnesses to a story that up until that moment had been kept to family, and a few close friends. This was me speaking my story, embodying it, being challenged by it, and hoping that it would move both me and my audience. My name was announced, and I walked up the steep stairs. As I turned around to face the audience, I took a deep breath, settled myself in front of the microphone, and looked out into the lights. Seeking out connection in this room full of other moms and a few dads. I knew there were likely some people in the room who would not understand or be moved by my story, but I wanted them to hear from this mother about my child. I wanted to speak to all the moms in the room and ask, "Would you do any less?" I felt the emotion rise in my throat and thought, "Take your time, Sally. Open yourself to the moment. Accept the ride you are about to take. You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be true." Through the bright lights, I sought out Andy and the kids, including Rowan, and with one final thought, This is for you, my sweet and brave Rowan, and for everyone in this room. I begin. We were visiting my in-laws in San Francisco. 7 minutes later, as I finished my final line, I looked up and out into the audience, put my shaking hand on my heart, and accepted their applause. As the applause continued, small bunches of people stood up, and then a few more, and a few more. I don't know how else to describe it, but I felt held in that moment. Connected. I allowed myself and my story to be seen, and gratefully, it was. They saw an imperfect story about a sometimes struggling and scared mom, navigating life with her complicated, surprising, and brave kids. What I felt in that moment was an honoring of my and my family's story, but also a recognition of our collective story. The story of loving our kids and allowing them to grow and become their best selves, despite what we might have imagined for them, isn't just my story. It is all of ours. And though it surely didn't move everyone in that audience, it moved some. I know that it moved me. I am not always able to summon that same kind of courage and vulnerability. But when I do, I know that it just might be the thing that will move this world of ours. The same is true for you. You and your story are awaiting a similar moment of recognition and appreciation and the same kind of connection and change. Not because you'll share it perfectly, and not because you've finessed it just so, but because the audience will recognize our shared human experience in your authentic voice and story. That's what speaking your story can do. It can move you and your audience, and it just might move the world. If you'd like to read the story that I shared at that event, you can find it at speakingstory.com along with all of the resources in the Speaking Story Toolkit.

That's the end of this chapter of Speaking Story. You can find the full audiobook ad-free on Audible or subscribe so that the next one drops right in your feed. And if anything in this chapter stirred something in you, that feeling of "I have more to say than I'm currently saying," that is the feeling I want you to follow. The Unspeaker Simple Storytelling course is $49, and it is literally like having me in your back pocket on a walk. So start there. Go to sally-z.com/unspeaker. And when you wanna go further, we are here for you at sally-z.com/institute.

All right, movers.

This moved me.

What is moving you?

See you next time.