Why avoid blaming your spouse for causing divorce. Don’t get sucked into the Blame Game

20 Sept 2024 · 1 min

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In this brief dialogue, Speaker A challenges the tendency to dwell on past grievances during a divorce, noting that repeatedly bringing up events from many years ago stalls progress. Speaker B explains that in a no‑fault divorce state, the specifics of who did what in the past are legally irrelevant, and using past‑tense language prevents parties from looking forward and creating solutions for their current situation. The exchange underscores that focusing on past blame creates a standstill, whereas shifting to forward‑looking resolutions is essential for moving beyond the divorce impasse.

Stop playing the blame game in divorce. You keep bringing up what happened 20 years ago and 16 years ago and 18 years ago. I mean, it's not going to get you anywhere. You're going to be at a standstill. I know that I have clients that are looking backward, and the thing is, it doesn't matter. So Scott, tell us why it doesn't matter.
Well, yeah, I mean, it's a no-fault state, so how you got here doesn't matter. You know, who did what to who in 2013, Who took what, who did this, who did that, all of it. When you're using those past tense words, you're not looking forward and you're not creating resolutions that address where you are and where we need to get to.
Yeah, so no traction, no progress will be made.