Angels, Demons, and Love: Navigating Inner Battles in Relationships

Welcome to the Science of Abundance Daily Alchemy podcast. I'm your host, Sean Clayton, and my story's pretty interesting. Went through a ton of trauma, former incarceration, suicide attempts, sexual abuse in my life. And one of the things that's happened in my life is I've actually used hermetic principles, alchemy, all these really cool tools that we hear and we talk about the Illuminati, whatever you want to call it, and develop practices in order to change and affect my lives differently. So within this podcast, I will be giving tidbits and bites for individuals to be able to bite into on a daily basis. That will allow you to take baby steps to change your life. But at some point you'll find the door that starts to change the effect of how you show up on a daily basis. Enjoy this, give feedback, come to my Instagram comment, whatever it might be, always open because we wouldn't be here without each other. Please enjoy and thank you and I love you. On this episode of Daily Alchemy, I'm really excited to dig into a little bit more of the we ness or the we areness of how we create our life and taking a larger correspondent perspective on putting ourselves at that seat of cause and being able to look at all of our creation. So in a lot of the responses and posts that I get, there is a lot of contention that gets met only because you put a topic out there like the Illuminati or demons and ghosts and things that haunt you and shadow work. And I've been on this topic for a little bit only because that topic really is the biggest source of separation. It's easy for me to disassociate from something that I don't like only for the simple fact that if I create distance from it, then I feel the illusion of safety. What sucks about it is the thing constantly chases me for the rest of my life until I actually love it back. So when I started to really dig into this is post Hoffman, I had some crazy stuff happen. And I won't go into whole diatribe on that because I could probably spend 30 minutes talking about it. But if you go back through a couple of my other podcasts, I believe the one making love to your past. I go into talking a little bit more in depth about this and in the depth of discussing it. One of the things that I recognize is I go to this event, right? And in that event, it digs really deep on trauma work, pattern work, your emotional child, all these different aspects of self. And in Those aspects of self, you start to unpack why all of these opportunities have been created for you. And you sense that, well, it's my parents that did this to me, or it's my cousin that molested me, or it is federal justice system that made things really difficult, or hell, it was slavery and because I'm black, I'm one in X people that are going to end up in prison. So it just makes sense that I end up there. And you start to rationalize all of this external world. And in a couple of the episodes before this, we were talking about everything that's distant from us. And in the thing that's distant, we have literally created this crazy ass illusion of separation. And in that distance of separation we start to rationalize through our senses all the excuses in the world for us not to go within. And what's really cool about that is that it's all an opportunity for us to remember to go within, right? To actually take the process of loving ourselves and going within is just equivalent to loving yourself. So in some of the posts that I throw up, it's like, hey, you know, you are the Illuminati and, and I throw that concept out there not to people off or to cause a big riff or where I get called Satanists or somebody in this Lucifer space or whatever you want to call it, whatever that is, fine. But it's more over the opportunity for us to say can I love that which I have hated? And if I can love that which I have hated, then I hate nothing, right? It's pretty simple if you kind of put two and two together there. And so in a lot of ways what I've also seen is that I've had a lot of what I would consider ghosts that haunt me from not only the societal aspect of what we rationalize as this three dimensional reality. For instance, like being a black man in America means that this is your path, right? And if I subscribe to that path and I'm going to be the black man in America that goes down that path and a handful break out of it and then you become this other kind of path that everybody gets set toward and that consensus around the community creates the reality. So if I now take a consensus in my community, all of a sudden my reality becomes a very specific way. For instance, like I have a bunch of Ivy League black friends. And in those Ivy League black friends, I'm not an Ivy League black friend, one of them, but I have some that are Ivy League black friends and they're very communal, they think A very specific way they vote the same way. They like the same restaurants, go on similar trips. All of this stuff is very rhythmic in their. And they have a very specific reality that they live in. No judgment to it. It's a beautiful thing. And for me to have ever pierced that veil, it's like I would have to know somebody in that space that would invite me in in order to say, okay, now I can be in this little container that they have. And one of the things that they recognize is that they're not overly fulfilled because that container is really small. And everything inside of our soul tells us that we should all be inclusive, tells us that the parts of us in this human body of existence, this Mother Earth that we live in, there is no separation, which is why racism is so painful, which is even why distance is so painful. So episode before this one, I talk about the technology that keeps us connected, because that technology is there so that we can actually interdimensionalize all the separation that we've ever had if we look at it that way. Not even if. When we look at it that way, because it is coming and we are awakening, and it is happening so damn fast that the pain that we're going through and all of the frustration that we have around the technology, around the separation, around our race, around our differences and whatnot is really going through. What I would consider is this mass upheaval, of course, correction, so that the pain will stop. So we talked a little bit before when I opened this up around angels and demons and ghosts and whatnot, and I was talking with a good friend of mine a few days ago, and we were digging deep on relationships and. And in the aspect of relationship. And this is something I've gone through personally. And I'll talk a little bit about mine here is the fact that what we do in relationships is they're all healing opportunities. Some of them we take a really intense approach to. Some of them we manage from a distance. But if we manage them all as a reflection of ourselves, what happens is, is you start to go through the process of basically placing all of the ghosts and demons in an individual that's in front of you. Kind of similar as, like, we place them in TV shows that we watch. We place them in social media that we engage with. We like to watch the scary movie because it allows us to have a safe space to start to overcome some very deep fear thing inside of us. Something that probably was around eons ago that we are now going through the process of overcoming, because we can watch it and laugh. We can watch it and enjoy ourselves. Right. We can put a different transmutation of energy over the top of it without staying and creating and knowing that that is the reality. We can be like, that's not real, but it's funny that it exists. And I can't believe that kind of chaos is there. So let me go ahead and exercise all of the potential opportunities out of my mind, out of the co creation of humanity into entertainment vehicles so I can let it go. We do the same thing in relationships. So what's interesting about my relationships is that, and I'm going to use my relationship with Sophia. One of the things that I have done with her is I have historically gone through the process of creating demons in her for me to overcome certain triggers in myself. I'm gonna repeat that again. I have created demons in her for me to overcome certain triggers in myself. So what are those triggers? I grew up in a household of infidelity. I grew up in a household of what I would consider motherly rejection a little bit. My mom was great, by the way. So I'm not saying that she rejected me like from a forceful perspective. You know, my grandmother had a distance from me. My other grandmother was very shut off. My mom was dealing with a lot of stuff with my father, so was really present in those spaces. Even though she was doing the best that she could to love my sister and I. And in the challenge of that, I constantly had this female abandonment thing that I would go through. And in that female abandonment issue or response that I had, or those motherly issues that I went through, what did I do in every relationship? Therefore, moving forward, I did all that I could to then validate. Was this person going to not abandon me? So what do you do when you want to identify if they're not going to abandon it? You do all the things to get them to abandon you. Right? So you, you initially do things out of fear so that they don't leave. Well, is that loving yourself? It's a version of love, but it's not you fully loving yourself at the highest vibration. So you do things out of fear to really stay put. You don't say certain things, lie about certain things, you shut off about certain things. And so you go through relationships looking to manipulate it so that the person doesn't leave because you don't want to be abandoned. Well, that doesn't feel good because you're not being yourself. So if you're not being yourself, well, then the next thing you have to think about is, well, how do I actually start to become myself while taking off those layers? Well, if you taught somebody how to treat you, or you've created that person in order to be carry the ghost for you to overcome the trigger, then what's happened is, is that when you start to overcome the trigger, now all of a sudden that ghost starts to scream out a little bit more because the ghost has been kept silent even though the ghost exists. But what do you do is you go through the process of pushing every button as you know somebody. This is the cool thing about relationships. As you start to know somebody, you know, it bothers them. I could go at any time, say anything to Sophia and literally trigger her in an instant because I know exactly how to get to that person. She knows exactly how to get to me. So if I know how to point and push those buttons, then what I can do is say, well, I don't feel really good about myself today. Let me use the outside world to validate that, well, this is somebody that loves me. And if they really love me because they say that they do, let me push five buttons, buttons and see if they won't leave. So now I'm using a person that I love in my life to now validate my insecurities that I have that are now tied to my childhood trauma so that I can let go of that ghost. Well, the shitty thing about that is that me doing that is just the same thing as manipulation of me actually not saying anything or lying or manipulating the situation so that I'm hiding the truth out of the fear of actually being seen. So when we take all of that package it up and we go through, how do I become vulnerable and how do I now turn back around? Or how do we now turn back around and start to make adjustments to the way that we love ourselves differently in the reflection of another. The easiest steps would then be to now identify historically, well, number one, what have I done that has pressed on all the buttons of that person in the lens of transformation? And these are the steps that Hoffman puts you through, is one, you have to be aware that you're doing it. Two, you have to be able to express to that person. Three, you have to be able not only to forgive the other person for maybe how they have responded and reacted to you, even though you were the cause creator of it, but also forgiving yourself of being the cause creator of it. Because we live in the effect of watching the other person writhe and moan and get frustrated. But we never take the responsibility of ourselves of why we've created it from this childhood perspective of self. So now you've got this childhood perspective of self that you are now going through the process of forgiving, which is the core seat of cause. And you're also forgiving the other person for how the effects have been manifested in the cause creator of yourself. Now you say, okay, well that's great, Sean. I've done all of that work and the person hasn't changed. And this happens a lot. Well, the interesting thing about you, look at the seven laws that we live in. There is a law of rhythm that creates a rhythmic state of permanence in your life so that things can actually look the way that they do. We've talked about in a couple of the videos that I post that if you work at one time, you're not going to build a changed body. If you eat one really healthy meal, but each garbage meals for all your life, you're not going to change your body. Your body is a reflection of what rhythm looks like in action. We have a lot more of that around us. But that's one thing that you can actually influence and impact. That is a true reflection of rhythm in your life. If I start feeling a certain way, thinking a certain way, you know, and I do the same thoughts over and over again, my life becomes different. Literally I can see it happen like in the illusion of the world. Moreover, if I just work out every day for the rest of my life, I will look different than I did if I didn't. Simple, right? If I create a rhythmic state of permanence in the process of compassion and forgiveness for self and in the process of compassion and forgiveness for others. And I become very aware of where I'm actually gathering that information from in order to create a ghost or a demon in my life, then the demon will go away only for the fact that the process of compassion and forgiveness is love. And it's a high vibration state of awareness. Moving from awareness to expression to compassion, or moving from shame all the way up to love is that when you become aware of something, you initially get triggered and you're like, you become shameful about it in a lot of ways. You become aware of something like I can't believe this is happening in my life. Once you get into the reason of why you're aware of it, then you say, okay, well I see why it's there. Now I have to do is understand why I created it in order to love myself. This is where that why I created it to love myself more question really comes from because it allows you to go through the tunnel of correspondence to understand the interconnectedness of all things. And once you do that, then you can actually layer that love and forgiveness over the top and it starts to go away. You can't do it one time, though. That's the crazy part about this human experience is what the currency of time has given us is an understanding of how repetition works in order to create realities, in order to create the reality of self, in order to create the reality of finance, in order to create the reality of anything. The rhythmic state of permanence creates that. So within that state, I encourage you to start thinking through the different swim lanes that you have in your life, of how you have gone through the process, or how we have gone through the process of literally finding intimate relationships in our life in order to understand all of the nuances. And then what we do in order to then push those buttons, in order to then turn back around so that we can understand that we are valid. That is not a healthy way to go. What is a healthy way to go is for us to recognize that, hey, I've been pushing these buttons for years. And whether you're in a one day relationship with somebody, or whether you're in a 40 year relationship with somebody, how much have you pushed those buttons in order for you to fill whole? And the cool thing most times is that the other person in our life is literally putting up with our shit and loving us through it anyway. Which I consider the grace of God, I consider the grace of the all, because they don't have to, but they do it because they understand how much they love us. Which is that unconditionality that we start to see show up in our lives. But once we stop pressing those buttons, once we stop looking to become the or create the reflection of the demons so that we can overcome those demons in the person that we love in our life, what will then start to happen is we will be able to truly let go of all of the pain and the suffering, the ghosts and the demons that are there now. You say, sean, there's always going to be some duality in life. And we have to have that to have the other. We have to have the darkness to have the light. Sure we do. But can we have high vibration darkness? I challenge us to think that if we started to go through the process as a collective of seeing that a little bit differently now, those problems go away. There will be other problems, because as you elevate, there's always a new problem. And when there wasn't a plane we didn't have plane crashes. Right. And so the more that you start to elevate and change the vibration of things, stuff will start to happen. But then it's how you start to overcome that. The faster that we go through the process of overcoming all of the generational trauma that we've carried. Now we're moving on into other cool problems to solve, but we have solved the baseline of the other in order to move on to the extension of this new reality that we're walking into. Super excited about this episode, only because I know that there are some really awesome seeds inside of it. I will dig in a little bit deeper on the next episodes of some practices that we can do on a daily basis in order to really go through the process of staying and grounding. These will be a little bit shorter and exercises that we can go through in order to remember who we are, why we do what we do, and how we come together as a collective in order to create a reality that is ours, that is at a high vibration of love, that changes all of the trauma and the chaos that we have chosen up to this point to live within and that we are not victims of anymore. Thank you so much for listening, and I love you.