From Control to Influence: The Art of True Receiving

Two key words to focus on in this episode are influence and receive. On this episode of Daily Alchemy, what we're going to talk about is the difference between control and influence and the process between giving and receiving. And we're going to ground this around the hermetic principles of gender and also looking at things through cause and effect or karma. So one of the things that I've recognized over the course of one of these podcasts and my journey of awakening, and not to say that I'm ever all the way away because we never will be, is that for the longest time, you hear these quotes around, you know, only focus on that which you can control and let go of what you can't. And what I realize is that I really can control nothing. We are never in control of anything because we are never sitting at the full seat of cause. It's one thing to get to the seat of cause, but the goal is to influence that seat of cause. What I want to focus on is the difference between cause and effect, because we have these senses that we use on a daily basis. There's never a time where we are not in the influence of effect, but when we can constantly pull ourselves back to the seat of cause or back to the plane of cause. What that allows us to do is create a balance between the process of cause and effect, where we are constantly moving from cause and driving toward effect, instead of constantly looking at the thing of effect and trying to figure out the cause, which means that we're constantly upside down. What that means is that we are pushing on influence instead of working on control. If we had full control of anything, we would always be the cause of something. And if we were always the cause of something, we would never see the effect because we would never actually enjoy or reap what we've sowed. Right? So the thing about that is, is that we are here to enjoy life. We're here to receive life. We are here to take it in, which is an aspect of effect. But we're here to do it with a process of influence, which means that we are driving from the seat of cause to receive everything that's there for us in the space of effect. So I'm going to use a couple of different examples as we go through this. One is thinking about the story of David and Goliath. I did this post about the slingshot effect. And if we are in our lives constantly pulling back on this tension of life, and we've done it for thousands and thousands of years, where we have been in this Patriarchal, efforting society, pushing toward outcomes, striving for effect and craving some very specific aspect of tangibility or sensory perception. In our life. What that means is that we are sitting at the seat of effect, pulling back on the slingshot, waiting on something to be released is what I call it. And what constantly happens is we let go of that slingshot out of fear and we end up hitting something out there in our lives. But we are never truly an influence of where that slingshot is being shot. The story of David and Goliath is that we have these things in our lives called fears. We have these giants, we have these monstrosities. For the longest time in our lives, we've never really been the king of our lives. Once we start to shift into really being able to stay calm and cool and collective, being still in that space and being able to point in a very specific direction, look at where it is that we are affecting from a space of very focused influence, then at which point from that space of stillness, we are able to pull back on that slingshot. But then it allows us, when we let go, remember that when we let go, we actually are in the process of receiving all the blessings and all the tension that we've pulled back on in our lives. So if we start to equate that to different struggles that we've had in our lives, different trauma that we've gone through in our lives, different shadows that we've had held over us, different negative self love patterns that we've been through, what starts to happen is, is that we start to understand why we've actually created any tension or we've actually created any efforting, any stress, any anxiety, any anger, any vibratory state that is down regulated in any way. And when we finally go through the process of letting go, and that letting go is a very specific window of influence, we point that in a very focused direction that is not on ourselves, but it allows us to release all of the trauma that's in our lives. What happens is that influence now takes a very specific control in the process of us being able to receive all of our blessings. What that then does is it places us on this divine roller coaster of our lives. And because we are in the constant process of letting go, because we know that anytime that that tension actually gets rallied up, we know exactly where to point it. Then what ends up taking place is that we're no longer in the space of somebody else's slingshot pointing back on us in a very incoherent way, because they're not pointing it at their shadow work, they're not pointing it at their thing. There's sometimes they point it at us, right? And when they point it at us, then we say, oh well, I need to take that in and I receive it. And we end up calling that love. But then when we receive it, we're receiving somebody else's effect from their aspect of desire and control, which to be honest is not the highest vibration of love. So now what we have to do is say, okay, if that person's in the space of wanting to control me and let's take relationships in your life, let's take parent and child relationships. So what ends up happening when you're growing up is the parent wants to control the child. The child's kind of doing their thing and then over time what ends up happening is the parent has very specific patterns that they've associated with when they grew up from their parents. And if something went right or wrong and there's some fear or some aspect of themselves that they now want to take and control you with, what do they end up doing? They end up pressing you as the child in a very specific direction out of their own fear based states. There's never been a time when I knew my parents were giving me true love from that heart space where it was ever a space of them looking to control me. It was just they were looking to influence me from the desires of their heart. Think about it. There's never been a time where somebody loves you and is showing you love where they are in any way attempting to control you. When you have a loving relationship with your child or a loving relationship with your loved one and you guys are in that flow, nobody is controlling anything. You guys are just influencing each other in this really beautiful way, right? The only time that we ever look to control is when we are afraid. Only time we're looking to control is when there's a fear aspect that is riding over us to where we're like, okay, we got to get control of this because it's out of order. But when things are in flow, you're not controlling anything. Michael Jordan was not looking to control a game when he was scoring 70 plus points. He was just in flow and having a hell of an influence over his life. So I remind us, whenever we feel like we have to go control anything in our lives, what is it in fear that we are looking to correct that is causing for, for us to start to press this button of control and what is it that we are not receiving from a message, perspective that our divine self is telling us that we need to listen to in order to shift that energy back into a space to where we are. Abundant love. So abundant love is infinite expansion. This can happen in business, this can happen in product development, if you're an engineer. This can happen in art, this can happen in your relationships, this can happen in cleaning your house. It can happen in anywhere, as long as you're in the process of looking at it through the high vibration lens of love. And then you let go of that need for control. You move into a more throttling seat of cause. Because nobody's ever at the full seat of cause. Because you have to see the effect that comes out of your life. Because this is the world that we live in, is one where we actually are in that space of karma, of cause and effect. But when you place yourself more at the seat of cause and you're looking at the outcomes of what's happening in your life as all divine flow, then what happens is you recognize it comes from the seed of love and you are in a steady state of influence in your life. A process that we can go through as we remember this practice is one, what are you looking to control in your life? Write those things down and tie what fear aspect you have to that aspect of control. Number two, are you pressing on something so much that you are not able to receive what you are creating? So if you're not able to receive what you are creating, then what happens is that you're missing the boat, you're missing the intention of your creation. Our target is to stay in constant receivership of everything in our lives. This is that aspect of gender, when it comes down to the four laws, is that we have, over time, in a patriarchal aspect of things, constantly pushed on doing, efforting and being overly masculine. Now we have to take all of that slingshot that we've pulled back on and be in the space of receivership too, so that we can become kings and queens of our lives, just like David did in the Bible. And then after that, what we have the ability to do is then remember from that cause and effect aspect of things, which is the law of karma, is that we have to enjoy the effects of our life, which is the process of receiving everything that we've sat in the seat of cause to create. But recognize that when we move to the seat of cause, that we're in a steady state of influence. And then remind ourselves over and over again that we are here to influence and not control. We influence everything. We control nothing. Remind yourself daily. To let go of the fear, to let go of the pain. To step into love and remember that you are in consistent influence. And when we do this, life turns out to be so much more beautiful, so much more ease, so much more flow. Thank you so much for listening and I love you.